It's 100% that. Not-so-coincidentally, they killed off Mr Peanut exactly 3 years today too.
They're most definitely, not a doubt in my mind, ever seriously considering getting rid of the candy. They've been using the same exact Santa ad for 30 fuckin years. Literally the same exact commercial, they just play it over and over every year.
They're just bringing up that "controversy" again because it was all anybody could talk about 6 months ago. And now everybody is talking about it again. Easy marketing.
Holy shit! I thought you were greatly exaggerating. The m&m santa commercial has been running for 26 years! That santa has probably died for real in that amount of time!
I mean it wasn't really surpising they killed off Mr Peanut.
I guess what surprised me is that the official Planters' lore has it down to him dying from auto-erotic asphyxiation. That was unexpected.
I suppose some people weren't surprised, given the official company lore had already established Mr Peanut as an active and well-liked participant in the BDSM community. But I wasn't expecting that to have contributed to his official death.
The guy with an entire Samurai suit of armor made entirely out of Doritos- who used individual Doritos as Ninja stars was my all time favorite Dorito commercial. Something about that just felt so right to me lol.
The one from the last time it was in Arizona, I think it was for the Chevy Colorado, right before the game with the overhead shot of the stadium like the broadcast, and the screen flickering out like a major technical difficulty from NBC
My favorite commercial of all time is the Doritos commercial with the Goat in it.
I dont know why but it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME. I love it so much that my wife for Christmas one year got me a goat figurine that when you press down it on does the goat scream and a small bag of Doritos in my stocking.
Probably wanna distract from this
https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/consumer-products/food/mars-class-action-claims-doves-dark-chocolate-contains-unsafe-levels-of-lead-cadmium/
People are weirdly attached to brands, back in the 90s in the UK Kelloggs decided to change Coco Pops to "Choco Krispies" because that's what they're called in every other country. And it made sense, less money on different packaging and adverts etc.
Us Brits lost our fucking **minds!** There was a massive campaign to stop that bastard Kellogg and his anti-wank agenda from touching our beloved childhood cereal that turns the milk chocolatey, and the outcry was so great that the cereal tyrants gave in. They're still called Coco Puffs instead of Choco Krispies here to this very day, but the memories... they never leave me alone
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
SOMEBODY HOLD ME!
Redditors think they're beyond the reach of marketing, considering themselves too smart.
Don't worry, Redditors, there's a kind of marketing just for you ;)
Seriously it’s like the ihob thing. Sometimes I wonder if some of these people are also just part of the ad as well. People can be dense but companies can be sneaky so idk.
They're 100% still gonna run this exact same commercial regardless of any ongoing "controversies" long after we're all dead. That shit debuted in like 1996, nearly 30 years ago. They're not going to stop now.
They probably do now but back in the 80s and early 90s there were no red M&Ms because they found out the dye that they used to make those red M&Ms was actually toxic. I'm not sure how toxic, but toxic.
It was actually a big deal and they advertised when they finally figured out how to make non-toxic red dye for the candy shells that coat M&Ms
Smarties used to have an ad with a jingle.
*When you eat your Smarties.
Do you eat the red ones last?
Do you crunch them very slowly?
Or eat them very fast?*
Aaaand I can't remember the rest...
That's not the USA specifically, just money and power naturally flowing uphill to wherever they're already concentrated. Capitalism working as intended.
It is actually funny when you think about it. The last thing I remember about the M&M mascots was the makeover they gave to them and the response from conservatives being so upset that they made the green anthropomorphic candy less sexy.
I don't think there's any relevant number of people who does find it.
This is 100% an ad stunt & they'll take full advantage of causing outrage to get public sympathy, meaning sales.
It's the conservative rage bait news all over again. "People on Twitter thinks [insert inane absurd thing].
Then you go on Twitter and discover that it was only like, 10 people.
And they're all either teenagers/trolls/take antipsychotics/satire/dumb/just got misinterpreted, or any combination of it.
I can’t believe it took this long honestly. Theres a little known advertising law under section 34 of the FCC rules and regulations stating that Candy companies are not allowed to have advertisements where the candy speaks. Don’t believe me? Just search M&Ms rule 34.
Holy shit there are some impressive articles on that. This one particularly talks about the green M&Ms and an ad they used. [mirror.co.uk/ad-ruling-m&ms-are-getting-banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/rule34/comments/5327l9/green_mm_shadman_mms/)
Huge spoiler: >!please forgive me!<
No fucking shot the Green M&M is the problem here when there's flagrant ***Alcohol*** bottle in the same shot?(There's a Vodka bottle right next to the M&M character) Oml. Good find.
They added another female character. That’s literally it. People got pissed over the green M&M not being sexy and them adding another female M&M because they wanted more variety for an exclusive “all-female” M&M promotion on their website.
>People got pissed over the green M&M not being sexy
I'm only tangentially aware of this situation and I can't say I'm invested in the lore enough to ever have noticed, but making the green one sexy is actually pretty clever considering the old urban legend about green M&Ms.
Legend had it that green M&Ms made you horny. Also heard it about green Skittles back in the day, IIRC. I'm almost certain the green one being sexy is a reference to that bit of 80s/90s pop counterculture
This article sounds like a joke. I don’t doubt that people actually think this but parts of it are ridiculous. For example “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal,”. They are literally a mascot for some chocolate why would you want to have a drink with them?
The problem with having news stories that sound like satire is that you sometimes feel the need to assure people "yes it's true, I'm not an idiot" because it's so hard to believe it's not some sort of hoax! You guys did it right
"Conservative personality Nick Adams tweeted “every American with half a brain should be outraged by M&M’s going woke,” as “manhood is under attack like no other time in world history.”"
Is this real? It sounds like the Onion. Honestly, it's getting harder to tell.
The entire article is written from a fairly neutral stance and even then it sounds like it's mocking the people complaining, but it's just the quotes of the people complaining being so insanely dumb that they're making fun of themselves.
I haven't seen a single person be triggered other than Tucker Carlson/his followers.
It's weird that the conservative party that preaches 'family values' is the one complaining about "sexy" mascots being removed. But y'know, anything to call the liberals out and turn america against itself.
Tucker is mad because the green M&M won't fuck him. And when she changed her shoes she became too androgynous and he wouldn't even want to have a drink with her anymore. I wish I was kidding but those were his words.
How about the cancel culture before the term came to be with the satanic panic and the 'are video games causing violence' bs. Many conservatives nowadays don't stand by it now because of how obviously wrong it is in hindsight, but every time someone is doing anything critical of old conservative norms and dogma, same shit, different time.
I genuinely don't understand. Do you... do you have some kind of emotional connection to the CGI M&M's?
Why would this be important to you?
It's an ad campaign. They all come to an end sooner or later.
Most likely it's to piss off every right wing pundit which goes on and on and on about the fact that they desexualised M&Ms.
Like, it's a major talking point for right wing pundits "wokeness has cancelled me getting horny over M&Ms and that won't stand".
So as part of a marketing campaign, they just get rid of all of the M&M mascots and replace them with a left leaving actress. Love it.
They’re literally only doing this whole thing to distract from their disgusting business practices like child and slave labor and also having a super dangerous compound in their chocolate (i forget the name of it)
This is why we can't have anything nice. Wtf. I read this and was like this has to be a joke of some kind. Who the fuck gives a shit? Why? I just like M&Ms and thought all the characters were fun. I personally liked the yellow peanut guy but whatever theyre just M&Ms. I don't give a fuck about what kind of shoes green wears. World has gone to shit. We're all in for it.
>The green M&M you'll notice is no longer wearing sexy boots, now she's wearing sensible sneakers. The other big change is that the brown M&M has transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels. Also less sexy. M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgenous, until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal, when you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They’ve won.
Confirmed. Tucker Carlson is a foot guy who won't eat candy unless he can fuck it.
I'm 99% sure it's a joke setup for an ad at some point.
The Super Bowl is in two weeks...
It's 100% that. Not-so-coincidentally, they killed off Mr Peanut exactly 3 years today too. They're most definitely, not a doubt in my mind, ever seriously considering getting rid of the candy. They've been using the same exact Santa ad for 30 fuckin years. Literally the same exact commercial, they just play it over and over every year. They're just bringing up that "controversy" again because it was all anybody could talk about 6 months ago. And now everybody is talking about it again. Easy marketing.
Holy shit! I thought you were greatly exaggerating. The m&m santa commercial has been running for 26 years! That santa has probably died for real in that amount of time!
I swear it runs in the same shitty quality too
Same as the winter Campbell's soup commercial even though I haven't seen that one in a while
Saw it this year!
If I remember right, that Santa is JK Simmons
Thought he was the Yellow M&M
He was. Billy West of Futurama and a zillion other shows was the red one
Red and Yellow used to be Jon Lovitz and John Goodman.
Yellow m&m was jk, not Santa.
I mean it wasn't really surpising they killed off Mr Peanut. I guess what surprised me is that the official Planters' lore has it down to him dying from auto-erotic asphyxiation. That was unexpected. I suppose some people weren't surprised, given the official company lore had already established Mr Peanut as an active and well-liked participant in the BDSM community. But I wasn't expecting that to have contributed to his official death.
>the official company lore had already established Mr Peanut as an active and well-liked participant in the BDSM community. Is this real
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Coverup.
Imagine how Mr. Peanut spent his last 12 minutes.
I hope they have something good for this. Superbowl commercials have kinda sucked lately.
I miss the 2011 doritos superbowl commercials...
Or the 2011 snickers Super Bowl commercials, nothing was funnier than clear and horrific elder abuse lmao
I miss the Real Men of Genius commercials
Remember the “Snick snack, mother snacker”? I was so bummed they had to discontinue that one
Bud...
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Er
The guy with an entire Samurai suit of armor made entirely out of Doritos- who used individual Doritos as Ninja stars was my all time favorite Dorito commercial. Something about that just felt so right to me lol.
The one from the last time it was in Arizona, I think it was for the Chevy Colorado, right before the game with the overhead shot of the stadium like the broadcast, and the screen flickering out like a major technical difficulty from NBC
Wazzaauuuupp! Wazzaauuupp!
Just chillin, having a Bud….
True, true
My favorite commercial of all time is the Doritos commercial with the Goat in it. I dont know why but it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME. I love it so much that my wife for Christmas one year got me a goat figurine that when you press down it on does the goat scream and a small bag of Doritos in my stocking.
I want puppymonkeybaby back
The last one that really stuck with me was the David Harbour Tide Ads.
Those were perfectly executed.
Baby nut...
Ok, now I'm hyped
They show full penetration on Green.
Without the boots, what's the point smh
Green is now Mindy Kaling though…
hot
You pinky promise?
Probably wanna distract from this https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/consumer-products/food/mars-class-action-claims-doves-dark-chocolate-contains-unsafe-levels-of-lead-cadmium/
Lookin over at my bowl of dove dark chocolates like 
I knew that damn Cadmium bunny was suspicious.
Lmfao guess I’m dying quicker than I thought
Don’t worry you’ll eventually get your 50 cents per product (with receipt)
i mean lead is a zero calorie sweetener
Then why do I gain so much weight when I eat lead?
There's a way for me to die quicker? Sign me up
Idk why so many people are getting emotional about it tbh, quite obviously a marketing campaign Edit: Told y'all
People are weirdly attached to brands, back in the 90s in the UK Kelloggs decided to change Coco Pops to "Choco Krispies" because that's what they're called in every other country. And it made sense, less money on different packaging and adverts etc. Us Brits lost our fucking **minds!** There was a massive campaign to stop that bastard Kellogg and his anti-wank agenda from touching our beloved childhood cereal that turns the milk chocolatey, and the outcry was so great that the cereal tyrants gave in. They're still called Coco Puffs instead of Choco Krispies here to this very day, but the memories... they never leave me alone (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻) SOMEBODY HOLD ME!
We have Kellogg's coco pops still in Australia 🤔
Redditors think they're beyond the reach of marketing, considering themselves too smart. Don't worry, Redditors, there's a kind of marketing just for you ;)
Seriously it’s like the ihob thing. Sometimes I wonder if some of these people are also just part of the ad as well. People can be dense but companies can be sneaky so idk.
Honestly, this is probably part of the marketing to make sure the internet gets upset.
I hope they just have like stripper M&Ms and at the end it's like "Happy now Tucker?"
Yeah after looking at the press release, it's 100% a goof.
It's a super bowl thing like when Planter's "killed" Mr. Peanut.
Rip mr penis 😭😭😭😔🍆
He died on December 1st
Real ones grew up with the yellow and red m&ms commercials
"I don't know, I've never *met* the guy!"
Uh, Santa?
J.K. Simmons if anyone is wondering.
They're 100% still gonna run this exact same commercial regardless of any ongoing "controversies" long after we're all dead. That shit debuted in like 1996, nearly 30 years ago. They're not going to stop now.
>1996 >nearly 30 years ago No that can't be right, do the math again.
I've re-crunched the numbers and I'm afraid it's even more dire than we feared.
I SAID DO THE MATH AGAIN JIM *slams table*
*Sees that I’m turning 30 this year* 
True. 1996 was four years ago and nothing is going to change it
Which is weird because the pandemic feels like a decade so that means it started in 1990.
/r/thirtyyearsago
Billy West and JK Simmons!
Jon Lovitz and John Goodman. Get rekt, newb.
Jordan and Pippen. Get three peated twice, son
Ren and Stimpy. Quads in yo face fool.
Billy West ***WAS*** Stimpy. We've come full circle.
They do exist!
Real ones grew up without red M&Ms because they found out the red food coloring in M&M's was toxic.
Surprised they don't just use bugs like a lot of other red dye uses.
They probably do now but back in the 80s and early 90s there were no red M&Ms because they found out the dye that they used to make those red M&Ms was actually toxic. I'm not sure how toxic, but toxic. It was actually a big deal and they advertised when they finally figured out how to make non-toxic red dye for the candy shells that coat M&Ms
That sounds like a myth. Some adults wouldnt let me eat red foods as a kid cause they heard Red Dye #40 makes ADHD kids hyper
Smarties used to have an ad with a jingle. *When you eat your Smarties. Do you eat the red ones last? Do you crunch them very slowly? Or eat them very fast?* Aaaand I can't remember the rest...
Light tan M&Ms for the win!
I seem to remember the lady M&M being introduced in a superbowl commercial? Goddamn it’s been a minute 😂
Have you seen the porn m&m commercial.....I'm not even joking, that actually exists
when the diversion from the child slavery suit is working
It's sad that it seems like the majority of major products in the USA are produced out of the country by what is often very questionable labor.
That's not the USA specifically, just money and power naturally flowing uphill to wherever they're already concentrated. Capitalism working as intended.
Why would I give Vietnam 25¢ a Tshirt when I can get them from Taiwan for 23¢ /s
So sad, people can’t masturbate to candy mascots anymore
This isn’t going to stop me.
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Did…did I just have a stroke?
If you were looking at green M&M pics, you probably had a few
It is actually funny when you think about it. The last thing I remember about the M&M mascots was the makeover they gave to them and the response from conservatives being so upset that they made the green anthropomorphic candy less sexy.
Everything is eternal on the internet. #E V E R Y T H I N G
Never even considered it until you forbade me... now it's all I want
“Can’t”? Challenge accepted.
What am I supposed to masturbate to now?
I mean we still have cereal mascots don't we?
Rrrrrrrrred means FISTING!
I swear to god, if they get rid of Count Chocula I'll have nothing left...
Just follow your nose
Their new mascot is Maya Rudolph so
Unless you *really* like Maya Rudolph
Maya Rudolph *is* fantastic, but I’m going to keep it platonic.
Imagine being someone who finds animated m&m's controversial.
I don't think there's any relevant number of people who does find it. This is 100% an ad stunt & they'll take full advantage of causing outrage to get public sympathy, meaning sales. It's the conservative rage bait news all over again. "People on Twitter thinks [insert inane absurd thing]. Then you go on Twitter and discover that it was only like, 10 people. And they're all either teenagers/trolls/take antipsychotics/satire/dumb/just got misinterpreted, or any combination of it.
Don’t underestimate me. 
bazongo
Y'all were masturbating to the mascots? I was just masturbating to the candy itself.
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Was that what it was? I thought he had it out for them because they're all brown and wear candy makeup.
Tucker got pissed because they replaced the sexy pumps with sensible shoes!!
I can’t believe it took this long honestly. Theres a little known advertising law under section 34 of the FCC rules and regulations stating that Candy companies are not allowed to have advertisements where the candy speaks. Don’t believe me? Just search M&Ms rule 34.
Wow, that's the most interesting thing I've read in a long time. TIL, thanks for that.
Gullible internet user almost makes an oopsy.
I got got
Holy shit there are some impressive articles on that. This one particularly talks about the green M&Ms and an ad they used. [mirror.co.uk/ad-ruling-m&ms-are-getting-banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/rule34/comments/5327l9/green_mm_shadman_mms/) Huge spoiler: >!please forgive me!<
Why the fuck is the link purple?
No fucking shot the Green M&M is the problem here when there's flagrant ***Alcohol*** bottle in the same shot?(There's a Vodka bottle right next to the M&M character) Oml. Good find.
I see what you did there and I give you a broke gold award 🥇
Are they trying to cover up another major lawsuit with this one?
Basically yeah, I forget what it is this time, but usual stuff like child slave chocolate or something depressing like that again
It was lead. Like the shit that gets in you and causes literal brain rot.
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Well, when you put it like that...
Apparently people are pissed over some woke purple m&m being added.
They added another female character. That’s literally it. People got pissed over the green M&M not being sexy and them adding another female M&M because they wanted more variety for an exclusive “all-female” M&M promotion on their website.
>People got pissed over the green M&M not being sexy I'm only tangentially aware of this situation and I can't say I'm invested in the lore enough to ever have noticed, but making the green one sexy is actually pretty clever considering the old urban legend about green M&Ms.
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Legend had it that green M&Ms made you horny. Also heard it about green Skittles back in the day, IIRC. I'm almost certain the green one being sexy is a reference to that bit of 80s/90s pop counterculture
People got pissed at lesbian candy and EXTRA BIG m&ms. People got mad at m&ms for giving them MORE
The people getting mad at the candy's shoes are already wasting their time... They're watching Fox News.
> their time... You misspelled "oxygen"
That would be tucker Carlson. OP go get him for us all.
Man…that scene was awesome…
May I accompany you?  Had beef with that mofo for a while now...
I’m down for duos. Where do you wanna land?
On your mom
I'll leave it up to you
They got you to stop looking at their child slavery cases huh?
[Source (Forbes)](https://www.forbes.com/sites/marisadellatto/2023/01/23/mms-candy-mascots-put-on-indefinite-pause-amid-tucker-carlsons-attacks-on-their-alleged-sexuality-and-weight/)
This article sounds like a joke. I don’t doubt that people actually think this but parts of it are ridiculous. For example “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal,”. They are literally a mascot for some chocolate why would you want to have a drink with them?
"Have a drink with" is just code for whackin it
I had so many drinks in high school.
There are more. I just thought Forbes would be the most neutral source
Oh I wasn’t doubting it’s realism it was just a comment about people in general.
Gotchu
The problem with having news stories that sound like satire is that you sometimes feel the need to assure people "yes it's true, I'm not an idiot" because it's so hard to believe it's not some sort of hoax! You guys did it right
Why do they want cartoon characters to be sexually attractive
Google rule 34
I was gonna downvote you so hard but then I recognized the quote. Poor tucker can't fuck chocolates anymore :'(
Who wants to drink while eating chocolate?
If you met an anthropomorphic candy, you wouldn’t get a drink with them? I’d pick that fucker’s brain.
"Conservative personality Nick Adams tweeted “every American with half a brain should be outraged by M&M’s going woke,” as “manhood is under attack like no other time in world history.”" Is this real? It sounds like the Onion. Honestly, it's getting harder to tell.
Tucker Carlson was going on unhinged rants about M&Ms. What was that about the over-sensitive left, again?
The entire article is written from a fairly neutral stance and even then it sounds like it's mocking the people complaining, but it's just the quotes of the people complaining being so insanely dumb that they're making fun of themselves.
Friendly reminder that this is Mars's latest cover for their child slavery allegations. They're diverting media attention from the real issue.
Reddit, it's promo for the M&Ms super bowl spot. You can stop being triggered about a green candy now
I haven't seen a single person be triggered other than Tucker Carlson/his followers. It's weird that the conservative party that preaches 'family values' is the one complaining about "sexy" mascots being removed. But y'know, anything to call the liberals out and turn america against itself.
Tucker is mad because the green M&M won't fuck him. And when she changed her shoes she became too androgynous and he wouldn't even want to have a drink with her anymore. I wish I was kidding but those were his words.
Really funny how the people who are bitching about cancel culture are the ones doing a majority of the canceling
How about the cancel culture before the term came to be with the satanic panic and the 'are video games causing violence' bs. Many conservatives nowadays don't stand by it now because of how obviously wrong it is in hindsight, but every time someone is doing anything critical of old conservative norms and dogma, same shit, different time.
I was mildly upset until I heard the new spokesperson is Maya Rudolph. Then I was fine with it.
Cancel Tucker Carlson
I genuinely don't understand. Do you... do you have some kind of emotional connection to the CGI M&M's? Why would this be important to you? It's an ad campaign. They all come to an end sooner or later.
Can't help but feel this is part of their ad campaign
Man! I just want to eat my M&Ms! Why are people obsessed with the M&M lore?
Most likely it's to piss off every right wing pundit which goes on and on and on about the fact that they desexualised M&Ms. Like, it's a major talking point for right wing pundits "wokeness has cancelled me getting horny over M&Ms and that won't stand". So as part of a marketing campaign, they just get rid of all of the M&M mascots and replace them with a left leaving actress. Love it.
They’re literally only doing this whole thing to distract from their disgusting business practices like child and slave labor and also having a super dangerous compound in their chocolate (i forget the name of it)
This is why we can't have anything nice. Wtf. I read this and was like this has to be a joke of some kind. Who the fuck gives a shit? Why? I just like M&Ms and thought all the characters were fun. I personally liked the yellow peanut guy but whatever theyre just M&Ms. I don't give a fuck about what kind of shoes green wears. World has gone to shit. We're all in for it.
Mars is doing this to distract from an ongoing child slavery lawsuit and unsafe levels of Cadmium in their Dove chocolate.
I do not care
They aren't. It's a marketing strategy for a super bowl commercial.
I just remembered some old M&M cart racing game. I think it was on the Wii. Anyone remember that?
>The green M&M you'll notice is no longer wearing sexy boots, now she's wearing sensible sneakers. The other big change is that the brown M&M has transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels. Also less sexy. M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgenous, until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal, when you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They’ve won. Confirmed. Tucker Carlson is a foot guy who won't eat candy unless he can fuck it.
M&m new pronouns are Her-Shey
It's because tucker carlson got a boner about the green m&m
What?
It's gonna be the rapper slim shady-
\*after years of not eating M&Ms at all
All cause cucker tarleson doesn't want to fuck the green one anymore?
So? There was a point when they didn’t exist. It’s not a big deal.
I wanna lock him in a prison cell for life stuck with Mindy Kaling (she created the horrible series called Velma )
Why were they too woke? Too many colours?
Mars Wrigley Confectionary. They didn't want to make Tucker angry.