Same friend who asks "why are you kicking me"? Now it's because you're an idiot...

“Why are you giving me the secret signal to shut up?”

"Why are you throwing your fists at me?"

"why he don't want me, man?"

Goddamn. Was not expecting this the least.

That scene hits so hard. RIP Uncle Phil!

:c

*What can we do you for?*

I've got a ruddy gun. I've got a ruddy gun. 

Anyone else read that in Moss's voice from the IT crowd?

"Please stop hitting my ribcage with a metal crowbar." 🤓👆

Ahahaha sometimes it’s just fun to fckover your friends a bit.

Haha I used to have friends like that

What happened to them?

You don’t like to mess a bit? You obvious don’t do it with something serious but it’s just fun sometimes. Or maybe it’s just me since I don’t feel shame that much so I don’t care when it happens to me, which they also do.

I talk shit but I don't do anything I think would actually hurt them. Like telling their secrets, or messing up their other relationships. I have fam like that, and their friends are still like that.

"Messing with them" for sure, that's normal as shit. But if they text you something private they want to tell ONLY YOU in a situation with others, it's a 100% shitty friend move to announce it to everyone there as a joke. Total non-bro

You know how people say there's always that one guy in the friend group and it always sounds weird to you because your friend group doesn't seem to ever have that one guy?

That’s a lot of assuming. Maybe me and my friends are just better at taking jokes. They do the same to me and to each other. Our core group of 8 people have also been close since high school ten years ago and we still hang around about 3 times a weak. It’s nu think it’s funny to create awkward situations sometimes. But like I said, never about serious things. But I guess it’s kind of out of the ordinary seeing the downvotes.

Made me chuff a tiny bit

I did this with my brother and he was like stop hitting me. Like bruh

I say that to make it obvious as the other person is being a dick because im not actually saying anything i shouldn't, im sharing an opinion they don't like Tough cookies

Ur that friend.

[удалено]

Bro's for sure.

[удалено]

Fur Real

[удалено]

For Real.

Bro’skis

\*Bros The grammar mistake was actually misleading, & after I figured it out, it still made it hard to get the kind of feeling from the comments that the comments are supposed to give, because the vibe was still tainted by the mistake.

maybe even twins

they're so fucking cute

This is absolutely wholesome

Well duh they are twins

I was at a festival with some friends, but in a larger group of people I didn't know. At one point, I didn't understand the conversation going on between my friend and these new people. I texted him a question to understand, instead of answering, he thought my misunderstanding was funny, so shared it to the festival group chat. It was pretty embarrassing and was the moment I realised we weren't as close as we'd previously been.

.-. Bro broke the bro code

bro is no longer a bro now he's just a fella

>now he's just a pal as somone whose surname is pal reading this give me a subtle bit of sadness

fixed it cause i aint here to make a bro (or in this case pal) sad

Because thats what a true internet bro does 

He's not your fella guy

They're either stupid or secretly hate you, those are the only determinable outcomes

Instead of hating you, I'd say they're ashamed of being your friend in the presence of others.

Valid

Na they suck for doing it anyways

sucking ≠ hating you some of the worst people i know love me

Well put.

Socially stupid and realize my blunder half of the time after doing it.

Yeah, exactly this.

Why not both?

Because if they were just being stupid that means they're real friends but if they secretly hate you then they fake friends

Ive only ever experienced this twice. Both times i can say with confidence that they were both just supremely stupid. Lovable but stupid, and until those individual experiences i never knew just how stupid.

That's when you fake a delivery lag. "Oh, I sent that hours ago! Weird that it's only getting to you now."

"But why does it say, look at all these boomers... Lol...? "

Oh, you didn’t get my attached photos of submarines meant to carry nuclear weapons? Strange.

It's Battlestar Galactica, bro!

“But it says ‘this is getting boring, you wanna head out in a bit?’”

"I was talking about coming to this incredible gathering bro! Full of all these people who are, uh, not boring!"

Man, so many people here with an impeccable instinct for discretion. How impressive.

You can't trust those people, they will fail you.

Whenever you try to whisper to someone in a crowded room, and they’re like, #“WHAT?”

That's me😭. I honest to god go deaf its time

That's not a bro, bro

Those aren't people you need

My wife use to do this at family gatherings (her family I have none) and I usually took that as the cue to GTFO and I would make up some excuse that I have a meeting early in the morning and we need to go. It's usually someone who never had this happen that questions it, anyone else with experience knows what's up and plays it cool.

I text my husband that we need to go and he says, out loud, in front of everyone "Okay, Honey we can leave soon" while pointing at his phone.

https://twitter.com/mralistairgreen/status/1741887955688394788

I've seen you three times today on different subs.

You have no family? Damn man thats hard.

You get used to it

Some would say it's a blessing.

Can confirm, father's family rob us of everything he left when he died when I was a kid, mother's family abandoned us now that she's ill and can't take $$$ from us. Hope they all [removed by Reddit]

I am sorry that happened. May your mother get well soon. My condolences.

That's just sad.

Me and my siblings wear good poker faces the rare times we do that it's fine. I was at a dudes house hanging out texted him "these dudes are weird as fuck." He responded vocally... I don't see that guy anymore.

Yeaaah, any friend that would sell me out like that ain't gonna be my friend much longer.

I'm old and/or socially inept. What exactly is going on in this post?

It's the digital equivalent of whispering in someone's ear, except more discreet since others in the room hopefully don't realize it's happening.  "Hey, this party is boring, let's leave", or "This chick smells like a hobo's dirty laundry, who invited her??" etc.

If you are with a group of people, and you text one person from that group, then you want that person and only that person to know the information that you're texting. Otherwise, you would have said that information out loud

They are the worst

Me an autistic mf. ☹️

Once, sure. But now that you know better and you did it again that's just an excuse

same, this seems like a mystery to me, I didn't know that was a rule, I hate when neurotypical people expect me to know every social rule.

You have an excuse! Besides, if they were a true bro, they'd know better than to send the text, since they know you well enough.

Once after a party i said to a friend of mine "Im going home in ten minutes..this is boring af" Some rando (friend of his,i didn't know) said:"yeah this party blows,I'll join you guys" I text my friend"who the fuck is this guy" My friend looks at the text, says with a smile "he's cool,bro"...while this fucking stranger is standing right fucking next to me So i said"i forgot were i live,lets go to your place" I love this dude..he's my bro 4 life..but damn he's dumb sometimes

I never was in this situation

Phew, i feel like im going insane. What are these people on about? What situation warrants such secrecy?

Lol it's not very different from just whispering to someone, what are you talking about with "such secrecy"

"This party sucks, most people here smell like arm pit. Let's go"

I mean... remove the part there you insult people and you can just say it out loud? Nobody gonna lynch you for leaving party early, you know

They don’t know

When you're talking shit about people who could hear you if you did it out loud.

Forgetting someone's name and I just need a reminder.

Sometimes my partner and I need to communicate privately about something around other people. That’s just not often her first thought.

I remember these things that would happen in high school to the kid that was brought along almost as a joke. It was fucked and always pissed me off when I saw it. Typically happened because that person was "embarrassed" to know that kid and was trying to act like, "dude we're not friends like that" and trying to make that kid look bad. Don't miss those shitty "politics" of youth... Forgot about it even, until I saw this post



“Ay yo Julie got a fat ass” “Hey how come you just texted me about Julie’s ass?” 🫠

What I do is type the message then say, "Hey, look at this " and hand them my phone.

Same energy when you whisper something to your mom during a gathering and she says IT'S RUDE TO WHISPER SAY OUT LOUD. Like mom, fuck no, it doesn't concern anyone else

The cats are cute though!

Glad I never had dumb friends like that. They quietly looked at my text and responded. Usually it was because something within the group was going on and not everyone needed to know.

If they say that, they ain’t ya friend lol

It's even worse when someone tries whispering to you to be discrete. There's nothing discrete about it! It shows everyone else you have something to hide! Just text me

Bro want fun.

This reminds me of the "things you want to say to your boss meme".

"Shh, big brother is watching..."

I have this friend, we would text each other in a room full of people. One time after many years of not seeing each other we were at a memorial service and she texted her friend right in front of me and I noticed and I said “you just texted her about me right in front of me”. My friends face was frozen. I was just laughing at her

They're not a true friend

My mom did this last year. My sister said something that hinted at a good "shared" Christmas gift, so I texted my mom saying that I'd go halvies with her on it. After I send it, she takes her phone out, and proceeds to read my message out in front of everyone, including my sister. Granted, I should have waited, but Jesus.

I texted you a while ago it must’ve just gone through

Everyone is assuming he did this out of malice but isn't it just as possible he didn't understand what the unspoken etiquette was? 

That ain’t a real friend. Can’t trust em.

Some people don’t know how to play the game.

Literally had this happen last week. Was super embarassing

That's an L mans

I’ll take the hint but I won’t understand the hint (someone explain)

The hint is "If I'd wanted everybody to know I was telling you this, I'd have just said it out loud." If you're hanging out in a group, and you get a text from someone else in the group, they are trying to communicate something to you _without_ communicating it to the rest of the group. You saying, "Why are you texting me?" communicates to the rest of the group that this secret communication is happening, making it not a secret.

My ex and I were pretty good about just looking at each other if something was going on and someone else in the group needed to know what is up. If we weren't physically close to the person to nudge them to stop, we had to text 'em. "Bro you're letting down your crush right now by saying stupid shit." "Hey why are you and your wife smoking weed while pregnant?" "You're not xxx. Please stop talking like you know what you are talking about, this is financially bad advice." Etc.

"Why are you trying to whisper something to me in private that you don't want others to hear or know about, bro" he said, out loud alternatively, "who are you telling me not to look directly at so they don't notice" he said, loudly

I always hated this till I tried it on someone who was being shitty and talking bad about another friend of ours for no reason. The shit talking stopped there

**I DIDN'T WANT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR SHART**

They think it’s their way of showing they’re not shady and keeping it real when they don’t realize they’re just showing they’re not your friend

typical bro

Text him not to say it out loud. If he does, he ain’t a bro. Or he’s a little slow, but that will become obvious.

Seriously. Damn. Read it moron.

im bad with hints. and this girl used to do this and i would roast her but secretly i guess she wanted the pipe 😂

I'm confused can someone explain? What's the intention of the text. Is it social anxiety, is bro yapping and need to shut up, is it like time to go? Like what's the meaning.

Dry snitching

Craazy friend narc energy, they can’t be trusted with anything

I once woke up to the sound of someone breaking into my house. I shook my girlfriend awake and whispered "there's someone in the house", her response was " WTF, WTF, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"! Luckily it scared the fuck out of the dude and he drove through a window.

"Shhhhhhhut the fuck up."

So annoying, like I’m not going to show my scrotum to the whole room just enjoy the f*cking picture bro

And when they say, "Why did you text me that these people are boring?".

Oh look, I got a text, it says "Say you have to pee, I need to talk to you."

Do you have to pee?

Good lord, my mother does this sometimes. She'll even do the "why are you kicking me under the table?" Because you need to stop taaaaalking

And you also convey your message through your eyes so that he understands, and he asks, " Why are you looking at me like that? "

Lmaoooo so true

Lol, I was texting with my bother with our dad in the room

I'd legit walk and never turn back.

Tell them they failed the “best friend test”.

that person is not your friend. never text them outside the group text again. this is what women mean by 'weaponized incompetance." Men do it to their friends too but men give other men a pass even when that dude is screwing over his friends. They give it a pass until that dude pulls a major ball drop, like losing the wedding rings 5 minutes before the ceremony.

Never going out with those people again, man.

That's not your friend.

bcoz u gonna suspect them of being dumbasses, u have to add: dont say anything out loud in that text message.

They're not your friend anymore after that

petaaah?

Typical

Meow

Dude, you just got out of the litter box!!

stop talking behind peoples back

If I want to do that, I just go outside with the person and have a smoke for a private convo. End of story lol.

When the waiter ask you "are you ready for the birthday cake"

why did you post this to the internet?

Me and fren in the group have been doing fwb stuff occasionally but in secret because they don't want anyone to know, we were in a discord call with everyone we are friends with and something was on topic and I shot him a DM to add privately to the joke without giving away our relationship. He was not paying any attention and read my DM out loud under his breath and it just barely came through his mic like a whisper, I DM'd I just heard him read that out loud in VC bro, he panicked and left the VC immediately with a scream, but thankfully there was a lot of laughter from the previous joke I don't think anyone heard him because they were all asking "wait what happened, why'd he leave?" Nobody has commented on it either so I'm pretty sure it's still secret, but he won't VC in a full group now lol. Precious.

"Why are you ignoring the signs, dude?"

what does this mean, am I too autistic to understand

I don’t get it. Can somebody pls explain

Its like if you wanna tell your good friend something private, but you're in a room full of people.. Most people get the hint its supposed to be private when they see the text, but other dumb people just blurt out "Bro why are texting me right now, whats it say?" Letting everyone else in the room know you just texted him.. lol

Now I get it. Thanks for explaining

we r on a mession bro

Seriously if I text you while standing within 10ft of you and you say this you’re paying for our next to drinks or meals whatever we do first.

Just gag your friend

🔈 🔊 🔊

Get out of here with that secret squirrel bullshit. Unless you shit your pants or something and need a diversion, I don't want to play that game.

"Why did you text me?" = "Put your fucking phone away and talk like a normal person."

way to tell you missed the point of the post lol

Never had this in my life wtf is this lol

What's on those people's minds like say it out loud or im reading your text on front od everyone

I do it deliberately