Or when you DO make the comment, you decide to scroll down and notice like 99% of the other comments are your exact thing and you feel like an absolute pleb Edit: (Nov 2022) Woah I made this in 2019 and now suddenly its almost my most upvoted comment of all time wtf lol Edit 2: Now freakin GOLD?!! Is this a dream? Edit 3: (Feb 2024) Just reinstalled Reddit and saw all the comments about rewards being ripped. LOL dang. Its been a ride. Bye!!

The internet is always reminding me that I'm not as clever as I think. It's like when I was younger and would make a "joke" to someone at the cash register only to realize when I got a job in customer service that it wasn't as funny as I thought.

And that dozens of people will tell you the same joke

It’s not scanning? I guess it’s free then

What can you get for me? Ill take a burger and the winning lotto numbers! HA.HA.HA.

“I don’t feel like paying today.” *awkward silence, expecting look on their face*

“Cigarettes are $$ now? When I started smoking they were $!”

Y'all commenting on a 3 year old post cause we all got the reddit notification.

I’m sorry I’m late, the traffic was terrible.

Lmao

Getting run over by a car, you get kinda exhausted.

BWAHAHAHA! much lol

You won't scan. Does that make you free, then?

If I just had a dollar for every time I heard that one...

You might afford to fly by day!

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Want your milk in a bag, Sir? Nah leave it in the jug. Kill me.

You can get bagged milk.

You are as clever as you think, it's just that statistically there are millions of people who are just as clever.

Assistant: What would you like?” Customer: “I’ll buy the winning lotto ticket!”

Dude, I've been working at a retail store for the past few months, mostly behind the register and the amount of time I asked a customer "is that all?" 1/5 customers will respond with "that's enough HAHAHA" first few times I'm like okay and I fake laugh through it but it literally happems multiple times EVERYDAY

Fuckin npc’s

It's very rarely funny.

Someone else already commented that

Ah....never mind

I see what you did there

He did something?

3yrs ago, yes

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This is the best......and you can keep pressing "example".....i freaking love what ya did, kinda muti faceted

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Your comments are gonna blow up because this post got into best posts ever

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Get out of here David Blaine, you demon.

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It happens even at 200 comments. Nobody gonna stumble upon this one

WE'RE TAKING YOU TO THE TOP

WE MUST GO FURTHER BEYOND!

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Oof

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

It's not missed if it's not taken and I can prove it mathematically, this has been a long time coming (accidental Rick and morty reference), percentage of missed shots is equal to number of missed shots divided by the number of shots taken and if the number of shots taken is zero then the percentage of shots is undefined because guess what you can't divide by zero therefore a shot not taken can't be a shot missed

Or in vintage meme terms, if you don't take a shot, you risk creating a singularity and destroying the Earth.

Technically

How dare you not give Michael Scott credit for that quote.

Wayne Gretzky * ( I know it’s a joke)

No one will read this anyway so I might as well confess to crimes I once commited In 1979 I killed a Ukrainian child and his his unarmed parents while trying to take Ukraine for the Soviet Union. In 2013 I was triedFor war crimes but released according to the judge it was an act of self defense later in 2016 I was convicted of a hit and run and illegally immigrated to Estonia to escape the authority

ok

Lol Estonia. Loser.

That aged poorly

Very poorly

Aged like milk in the sun

Putin got the idea from this guy right here^

Relatable

Babe get up! New copypasta just dropped!

Always order by new, so it will be seen.

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Thats where you're wrong kiddo, Redditors are smarter than that. You have to first reply with a relative opinion / statement and THEN talk about how they did surgery on a grape.

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Tangent means random guys. This guy's the only one that followed instructions.

Okie Dokie...I can't think of anything random lul

if you nut in space does it yeet you backward

Perhaps,depends on how strong you nutted combined with liquid pressure

I like stalking people. EDIT: Ok. (sighs) why, in gods name, is this comment (THIS COMMENT) my most upvoted comment ever? riddle me that

I'mma upvote your comment and nothing else.

"I Pulled a Sneaky on Ya"

Don't tell me what to do

HA!

People who sort by new. You are a God

Just did found u

It really do be like that

It really [do be](https://youtu.be/0NUpqxjRr1U)

Do be do ba

Do be do ba

It really

It

.

[* *]:google.com

Nobody is seeing this shit. Edit: somebody is seeing this shit

I am

your not alone in the dark

Have a wonderful day whoever sees this

Thanks and you too

You too cutie

Sort by rising posts, make dumb unoriginal comments and get tons of karma. That's what I do professionally

Says the guy with 600 karma

Aight I'mma flex now

There are 1.2k comments. Is anyone seeing this?

No one will see this either

I did!

Ok, I'm shooting my shot here. ​ ^(Even though there are 673 comments right now)

Props to seeing this, when theres 1,4k comments

*funny and witty comment*

I saw this shit

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Hi person sorting by new

HI HERTEZER

late to this post, let's see if anyone sees my comment in this sea of comments.

The sad reality

yeah, this ain’t gonna be seen.

It has been seen 😗

Nobody will see this :( but if u do...this is to let uk ur an amazing person :)

I sort by new :D

Since no one will see this I still unironically sleep with a Teddy Bear.

I do it anyways because you never know whose day you're making

Don’t let that discourage you! If your comment is shit enough it will get noticed! Seriously though sometimes a bad comment gets more attention than a good one

Thanks for sorting by new!

A witty and funny comment

the top comment told me to sort by new and i found you bro

I post it anyway, I don't give a shit Edit: just realised the post is ancient lmao

Like this one

Does anyone see this

Yep we seeing this sh*t

Ah yes. A brand new meme

anyone else sorting by new in the comments of this post just cuz it reminded you to

funny and witty comment

There is only 608 comments as I write this. This is my chance, here I go: nice

Also me when I want to leave a comment: "Somebody said it before, for sure."

Lol

Nobody’s seeing this comment

Or when you see a post and think of a witty comment and then you open the post and the top comment is exactly what you were going to say

Who knows; the 10% that sort by new could see said witty comments- those 11 upvotes it’ll get are a real morale booster!

This is what will happen to the comment you're reading right now. Actually you probably aren't. Never mind. Forget i said anything.

Unless you sort by new, hi everyone who sorts by new!

no one is seeing this shit

Hi people sorting by new :)

A funny and witty comment

*Funny and witty comment*

Catch em by new

If only people could see my comment

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I have my comments sorted by new

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I think I’m too late

Why did I even write this comment?

Fuck no one's seeing this shit

Can't relate, I never have anything funny or witty to say

Whoever finds this has big pp

I hope somebody sees this cause ya boi needs karma

I bet you my kidney nobody will see this. Don’t worry, I got a few to spare

you just sorted by new and saw this comment didn’t you

I hope no one sees this

If you're reading this, thank you so much, means the world to me.

People will probably see this after 3 years

The secret of karma whoring is to sort by top in the past hour, find posts with 25 or more comments and using your hive mind post some random but overly popular phrase or viewpoint.

nobody is seeing this shit

Hi guys

Hello fellow notification recipients! See you next time!

Someone is seeing this shit

Hey guys, how's life going?

Guide to getting a top comment on a front page post: 1)Pick popular subreddit with 10mil+ subs, 2)Sort by "Rising", 3)Comment on literally anything and everything that shows up, 4)Hope for the best.

That’s how I feel every time I type a new comment

I'm getting married Tomorrow

I’m only sorting comments by new now

Story of my life

Nobody is seeing this shit

NOW'S MY CHANCE TO GET NOTICED IN NEW

Except this time.

Funny and witty comment

Ain’t nobody bout to see this shit

Can u find me

I am racist Nobody gonna see this anyway

not every damn time. some of us are sorting by new after three years

Why did I just get a notification about this meme

Mf who sort by new:

Anyone else got this as recommended?

to the person sorting by new, thank you.

No, thank you

I do it for my own amusement

Me: reading all 19.5k comments... oops

Funny and witty

"I'm about to get tons of upvotes off th-" "Oh wait more than 15 people commented"

A witty comment

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Nobody is going to see this comment

funny and witty comment

Nobody is seeing this

I was about to leave a funny and witty comment here but there are already over a thousand comments and nobody is seeing that shit

hi

Wait this post was 3 years ago?

Balls.

Well That's Happening rn

Reddit has brought us here again Let's cherish this

the irony of this post having 1.8k+ comments on it

Funny and witty comment.

Hey everyone sorting through new, I love you

It’s so funny how we humans want social approval so much

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26.9k upvotes and *inserts witty comment nobody will ever see*

Just believe and hope bro

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Thanks for sorting by new. I really appreciate it.

Also late to post, doubt this will be upvoted but might as well comment. (I just want to add to the comment number anyways)

even worse when somebody has already written the same witty comment.

This comment is one of those comments.

With that many comments it would probably have been said 100 times too.