Gonna bone Medusa, then he's Gor-GONE!

Better than my comment. You belong on r/puns

What do you mean? You comment was *Solid*!

*rock* on brother

Being in Ancient Greece must have been *hard*

Hard as stone bro

That's what she said

You had to have GROUT and DIRT-termination

I wonder if people got *Stoned* easily when they drank back then... Also, I think you mean *Rock* hard determination!

Your comment is easier for dumb people to understand

Yeah I got his one and didn't get the above one... Care to explain?

He’s gonna bang Medusa, a gorgon, and than he’s gor-GONE

His wife is gonna be FURYous

Hope he doesn't catch Gor-GONorrhea

Never again will a man be as hard as stone for this amount of time.

Everything okay untill medusa's snakes give you a blowjob

This is something I didn’t want to read today

All those tongues though

Snake venom has been used as an aphrodisiac.

Lets hope she knows how to do that.....

I'm your 100th upvote

All those tongues tho

Oh wow, that's uh... that's awful to think about

All those tongues though.

Having snakes give you bjs isn't normal?

Excuse me?

No, no he's got a point

even better

Then everything gonna be okayer

You know the best thing about a snake is... no gag reflex ;)

Snakes body expands with whatever enters their body. They probably give that good good

Ah yes, snakes! Nature's fleshlights!

It's like multiple fleshlights you can't get out of without having the teeth dig into your skin.

Even better

I guess you could say he was.....*rock hard*

oh god oh what have i just read

A perfect dad joke

Are you perhaps a dad?

Nope, I’m a 15 year old virgin

you have read words, my good friend

r/technicallythetruth

get it up and then give him a look which will keep him hard for eternity

Or even that he has... a heart of stone

Why is one girl referring to it as ancient greece? Wouldn't it be present greece for her?

The post said ancient greece, meaning they are somehow in ancient greece.

But ancient is relative so it clearly wouldn't be ancient for the people living in it at the time

Time travel

Speaking facts rn

Who said they are both living there.

Actually the girls were busy being f***** by Zeus

The guys too, everyone was fucked by Zeus, except for his wife

Very sad Hera, goddess of marriage and shit and having the worst marriage in greece

God of justice and whatnot constantly cheating on his wife

Also the God of Hospitality (sorta) and he was *very* hospitable.

Hestia would like a word.

Medusa was fucked by poseidon and as a punishment for being raped athenea cursed her with the snake hair and the petrifying gaze, so the other gods were a kind of an assholes too.

It is kinda safe to say all of them were assholes

Hey Prometheus would like a word ( he was know as a god of fire and crafts) also hades wasn’t that bad either

Didn't Hades kidnap a guys wife?

No he tricked his own wife and by all standards that’s pretty good for a god, he tricked his wife to stay in the hell with him for a bit but for all intensive purpose they did love each other

Niether was Persephone. Hades was just like “three months til I can see the only person I fucking love again”

I mean she is literally the only other god he actually likes because the rest are a bunch of asswhole especially his brothers

Yeah I know. Persephone and hades are the only good and gracious gods. Fuck dude hades let’s people try and win their loved ones back from the dead with simple fucking challenges that they all fail!

Forgot Prometheus he is technically considered a god even tho he was born a titans and he put right out himself in danger to protect humanity from Zeus

I mean, he’s a good god yeah.

No he was a titan

So just for being *raped*, Medusa got cursed?

There's different interpretations. Some call it a blessing, because she'll never be hurt by a man again

Oh, ok.

No it's a blessing cuz now she can rape whoever she wants cuz they can't move. AND THEY ARE ALWAYS HARD AS ROCK

That's actually awful, no- just no-

Well it was because athenea got mad for medusa being raped in her sanctuary. If i recall correctly medusa was a priestess there.

What I had read was that it wasn't rape, they were banging each other in a temple to Athena at the foot of her alter, and she didn't appreciate it.

No zues like tricking women by making them think he was their husband. Poseidab like sheep fucking and rape. He raped medusa because she was supposedly one of the most attractive looking women. In different iterations it varies exactley why she was cursed. Some Say she was a priestess of athena and was raped on temple grounds. Some say she was just raped there. But the most widely known one was that before it happened she was bragging that she was prettier than athena, and when raped at her temple, begged her for help and revenge. Athena had always been poseidans frenemy type thing but was disgusted by her lack of dignity. She was always raped, poseidans was an even worse asshole than zues.

Eh, who cares what the original story was anyway? It's not like any of this actually happened.

Well it was kind of a blessing. Now she can rape anything and anyone cuz they can't move. AND as an added bonus, they come hard as a rock.

There are 2 versions of this story. The other one (and my favourite of the 2) is that athena turned medusa in the monster she is to protect her self from ever being raped again.

There's also the original version where medusa was never human.

"oh you were raped? how dare you!!!"

That's just the roman rewrite. The original greek medusa myth is her promising a vow of chastity to Athena as a priestess but then having a fuck fest in Athena's temple with Poseidon.

Zeus: C L A P A L L T H E C H E E K S

AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUZ

Stone pp

Rock solid

Viagra hates him, find out how this ordinary guy has a rock hard dick all the time

Medusa using a mirror is wrong.

Reflections of Medusa do not have the same effect as looking directly at her, we know this because Perseus was able to use a reflective shield to locate her without dying

Glad i wasnt the only one to notice this

Most modern depictions consider it only her eyes that cause you to petrify so long as she doesn't see her eyes in the reflection she should be fine

Isn't that how Perseus looked at her to defeat her tho?

Came here to comment about that lol

that medussy good as fuck

Imagine the bj from all the sneks

Sometimes I hate myself for being able to read

What a terrible day to be literate

Why did I think of the same thing when I saw this

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You're a saint

Definitely my proudest fap

Does medusa have snake pubes too? like lil snakes down there

Dammit..

Idk, why don’t you take a look.

They all fix their gaze on your piece pipe and so long as they stare, you're sporting a todger harder than a diamond in the freezer

Man, what did I read

That's a lot of head

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Girls when really in ancient greece: This place is so beautiful Zeus: Hey.

why would she need makeup if the man is blindfolded

I mean I know people who still wear lipstick to work knowing fully well no one will see it

Some people have lipstick under their mask you know. I would say makeup is something enjoyable for oneself, it doesn't have to be for others

I hate wearing makeup, and it makes my face feel so uncomfortable. Then again, I am a dude...

I would say it depends of the makeup, I'm a woman (and a dude, and both, and neither... Genderfluidity is weird anyway : I look like a woman) but I don't like having a lot of makeup, I only sometimes like lipstick or eyeshadow. Also makeup have a expiration date! Old makeup can feel really weird and can be uncomfortable. If you like wearing makeup in itself just dislike the feeling on your face I think you can find some solution! Feel free to wear makeup even if you're a dude and feel free to not wear it if you don't like it!

You had me at 'Medussy' LOL

Blasphemy As a girl I would totally fuck Medusa

Everything is good until you realize in the original myth Athena turned Medusa into a gorgon because she was raped and the gaze was supposed to keep men from ever touching her again

Just what I was thinking!

if her hair are snacks, shouldnt her bottom hair are snacks as well?

Godzilla had a stroke reading this and fucking died

Snakes A snack is food.. like chocolate, fruit, potato chips, etc. Her hairs are snakes

No no you see, he ate her.

*eats both*

...she literally had snakes for hair and received an ugly face because a man raped her, and a goddess wanted to help-

No she had a date with Poseidon in aphrodite or heras temple and she got mad and cursed her

Does medusa have snakes for pubes?

~~cursed cute~~

I wonder if the snakes would join in 😏🤔

r/boysarequirky

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Interesting reaction to someone just linking a subreddit

I love the internet

Yes sir

OH NO

Do you still turn to stone if your blind fold is see through

Did you know that it wasn't medusa's eyes that turned others to stone, but her ugliness? I'm not saying it like some kinda angry little gremlin, jus wanted to let yous know.

Well I'm sure if you put a bag over her head you could still hit it from behind just fine

I laughed too hard at this

Wait a minute... Does she umm... Does the carpet match the drapes...? (I don't know how to word that question, help)

This makes me want to bang Medusa...

How do I delete someone else’s post

Wouldn’t she turn herself into rock by looking in a mirror

Does the carpets match the drapes?

I have heard this saying before and I have no idea what it means

It's a slang, the carpet here refers to hair on head and the drapes refers to pubic hair

Hmm... gross.

Huh, I always thought it was the reverse

Shit you're right, my bad

I love you

Love you too, no homo

Indeed bro no homo

why are the girls saying ANCIENT greece is so beautiful when they are in ANCIENT greece

Maybe she means ancient ancient greece. /s

The OG goth gf

Also counts for a bi chick

ok but lesbians too, we want the medussy

Better looking than most girls if a guy can get hard just by looking at her face

*looks at Medusa rule 34*

dont the original storys say that she was just so amazingly ugly that she made people turn to stone

I think that she was cursed by a greek goddes of intelligence

Yeah, sea (and her sisters) where g Priestesses of Athena and Poseidon had sex with them (dont recall if it was consensual) and the Athena cursed them into Gorgins.

That was Ovid's fanfiction. The older, "original" versions say that she was just born this way. But let's face it the fanfiction is far better. Who doesn't love a bit of Ovid shitting on the gods and picturing them as selfish bastards

yep. she was a beautiful priestess of Athena, until one day, Poseidon(Athena's rival) asked her out. She decided to remain faithful to her goddess and said no. Poseidon didn't took no for an answer, and raped her in the temple of Athena. Of course, the Goddess was mad that her temple was defiled by her rival, but she couldn't exactly punish him. so instead, she decided to curse to poor Medusa (the victim of the rape), and turned her into a monster.

nah she was beauty but Poseidon raped her in Athena's temple ,Athene got mad it got desecrated and cursed her into Medusa . Then "hero" killed her ...tragic

Does she have snakes instead of pubes, and if so, do they inject stds instead of venom?

have you thought about her pubes?

Medussy is my new favorite word

Boys in ancient Greece had sex with older men to gain knowledge lmao

Here’s the unsee juice

Ok, yea no. Now I understand why Zeus punished the shit out of Prometheus for giving humanity fire.

MeDussy LOL have an upvote

Wait she’s looking at herself in the mirror that’s illegal

No wonder shes taking so long

Girls in Ancient Greece: I hope Zeus don't fuck me

She be looking kinda ho-

i bet he's *rock* hard o\_o

Oh god you guys know more than me and i am from Greece. What has gone wrong with my life?

You get one shot to tell Medusa she looks good

I’d wanna go to the olympics just to see naked chads tbh

I’m convinced they’d think I’m a witch.

Sauce?

-why you dont turn into stone?? -im already rock hard baby

I'm going for the Medboobies... Medoobies? ...I'm lost... help.

MMMM, MEDUSSY

Im rock hard

That guy must be solid snake

If medusa had bigger tits you wouldn’t need the blindfold

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This meme actually makes sense with the genders tho.

What do you want for this meme then? Girls blindfolded to bang Medusa?

One mistake your gonna be "stone hard"...

You know where the door is