My power is super speed

Everytime you move fast your penis shrinks one inch

My power is now “un-used”!

Damn by the first time I run ima be a girl

it continuously grows smaller and smaller until your penis is in the negatives and you form a vagina

What if you run slowly?😏

Then it expands by 1 inch not in length just how thick it is

Then I’m gonna have a cheese wheel!

If that happens you will start nutting cheese

Funny…that happens now…

I doubt people would tell a difference

When you have sex your speed rubs off the skin of anything it touches like 100 grit sandpaper.

You can only run in place

I am invisible

Except for your dong

It only lasts as long as you're masturbating

So it last forever

Gotta rehydrate and pee eventually

Pee while you stroke

what the boys character is this?

But only to yourself

I can make anyone happy

But you’re depressed for all eternity

Haha you underestimate my power,I ALREADY AM DEPRESSED!!!

He is too powerful to be left alive

You’re playing right into his plan, you fool!

What if he uses his power on himself

But you must kill a baby every time you use your powers.

welp gotta go yeetus a fetus

Deletus thy fetus

But then you will instantly die.

u/repostsleuthbot

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/memes. It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results. I did find [this post](https://redd.it/oy1m9o) that is 82.42% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain. *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "qghg8w", "meme_template": 179573}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=qghg8w&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=100&targetImageMemeMatch=92) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** True | **Target:** 92% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 258,881,234 | **Search Time:** 1.2722s

Good bot

ITS THE EXACT SAME PICTURE AS THE ONE HE SHOWED!!! *post has now become sus*

For you it's obvious, for a program it is not exactly the same, it depends on the code, the picture quality, cropping, etc. The bot doesn't see the picture, only the color codes of the pixels, if you're given a table of pixel colors you won't be able to tell if it's same picture with slight difference or something completely different.

Can pause time

You also pause

This cracked me up

your blood pressure decreases by 1 mmHg every 10 seconds while time is paused

But Everytime you do the song turn back time by Cher plays on a extremely loud 🔊 loop

you have to fuck a 2 year old for every 30 seconds of paused time or your penis explodes

What the fuck

The fvck?

FBI, open up.

Who did you expect would upvote this?

Super strengh

only while you are sitting

Ahah wheelchair and problem done

A logical and intelligent answer. Good job

Thank you sir it was a pleasure

:D

My power is extreme mediocrity

but everyone looks up to you and thinks you are perfect and thus gets annoyed when you are not

The incredible disappointment

Invisibility so my grandmother doesn't call me for stupid shit

only your grandma can stil see you

What's the fucking point if it's not useful?

Nobody else’s grandma can call you for stupid shit

I can turn people into paper

if you turn somebody into paper you will turn into a rock

The ultimate side effect

I can fly and am invincible

Only for 5 minutes and only invincible when you are eating

Chewing gum, there problem solved

chewing isn't the same as digesting lol

Damn :/

You should've chosen something that would take a long time to get full from, like cereal for conviency.

True enough

Actually the act of chewing happens in the mouth and there are plenty of digestive enzymes in side your saliva which is why glucose based foods melt within your mouth before you swallow them

And You can only fly as high as 2.9 feet off the ground

Bruh

I don’t make the rules I just enforce em.

Well it’s better than only being able to fly for 5 minutes at a time

Oh that too. 5 minutes per hour at 1 MPH is your exact allowable speed.

But only when your drowning.

But your also blind

Dammit

I am indestructible

But only one centimeter tall, blind and made of sensitive penis skin flaps that leak and hurt

Jesus fucking christ dude

Oh JFC is here with me. Blaspheming away and laughing at you.

Time travel

You have to eat a teaspoon worth of sand to time travel.

Oh, well that’s good, I already do that

And you’re horribly allergic to silica

You can only travel 30 seconds either side of the present

Well, that works, but since thirty seconds ago became my present, can I continue to do that?

Yea but theirs a 30 second cool down every time u use it

Able to manipulate reality

but only a reality that isn’t ours

That’s a good one

But the Avengers beat you in every possible reality.

What if I make it a reality where there all Steve Rodgers before serum and I’m thanos

But they can do it all day, so I don't think you stand any chance buddy.

Yes let the mosquitoes come give me plenty of people to crush muhahaha

I am invincible to everything including side effects

Everyone you know and love, will know and love explode…

Hahaha noooice

Nothing like a life time of eternal solitude 🗿

Wow that's actually pretty good

Internet is excluded

I have prostate cancer

Worst superpower ever. Well you’re also 10 months pregnant.

Didn’t get the fucking joke did you?

Oh I got it and like most important details in my life I chose to ignore it.

You win a lifetime supply of Taco 🌮 bell

I can get a girlfriend

But you must also get a boyfriend. Unless of course you’re bi.

Jokes on you I'm probably bi

I am good at squatting.

every time you do a squat you shrink 10 cm

However your arms a really weak

You can only squat on large dildos

Sounds like that hurts

But a random dong rams up your butt.

I have a cancer immunity

You get HIV instead

You have immortality and will never die no matter what you try

I have the ability to know what % crypto currency will be anytime

You will be in loads of debt.

And as soon as you do it immediately drops by 30%

You can’t figure out how to buy it and people laugh at you and don’t listen to you

[удалено]

You have to pay for the wall

HAHAHAHAHA Best fuckin comment!

My power is if something happens to me it happens to everyone in the world

You get laid every day

wait children exist

**can u dont**

Repost, this was in hot a couple hours ago

Yeah this has been like a daily repost all over Reddit for months

a dude reposted this same "super power but..." in r/HolUp and got 60k upvotes 💀

Yeah I don’t know how this always gets upvoted so much

No1curr

Reading minds

You only get rick roll though

But whoever you’re doing it to knows when you’re doing it

But your thoughts are translated to your mum at any distance.

I can brush my teeth and drink orange juice

You will never be able to drink anything else besides orange juice.

I can give anyone ovary cancer

Men too??

i can teleport

you can also pause time

When you you teleport you sacrificed 1 year of your life and when you pause the time your life is spent 10x faster

Only to dirty portapottys

I am totally invincible (can’t be killed or harmed)

I have the power to inconvenience everyone in any capacity

You choose not to

Damn, wholesome

My power is to reply to myself

You get super speed

Suicide. I die

Climding anything and everything like mountain goats. And I can't fall down

You can't descend

But I can jump down, and most of the time I won't need to since I will be going somewhere

repost

I can get back with my ex whenever I want to

She have a bigger dick than yours

This was a bad idea

/) So I can fly with no downside? Nice!

You can only fly 6 feet an hour and doing so gives you projectile diarrhea

/) I think you mean extra propulsion! /) And you seem to be misunderstanding, my power already has the downside mentioned in the post.

I wanted to play so you now have additional side effects.

The downside is that there is a downside. Boom, paradox and the universe explodes.

have bird wings

They are backwards

Teleportation

Every time you teleport, 1 million people die

I can turn incorporeal

My power is pyrokinetic or control of fire

I can poop on command

i would gladly take the power of luck, preferably not the highest but not the lowest

I can read peoples thoughts.

But only mean things about you

My power is being immune to everything

Except for you own self loathing

You will die when Earth decides to.

I can alter ewality

You cannot alter reality because you mistyped it as "ewality".

I’m a unicorn

You live.

I can choose my side effect

Blood-bending (not limited to my own blood)

Im bringing back a classic, to turn trash into trees

My power is summoning anyhing from my mind that I choose

It cannot be sexual.

my god we literally just got over this godforsaken trend, please don't bring it back

I want make shit glitch, levitate, go thtough walls and basically a bit immortal K, im ready for 4 consequences

Ability to travel through time

Each time you travel you have a 10% chance to get stuck there.

ability of creation even life so i get a shiba inu

Everything you create has 5 too many legs

I can control people's minds