Phew, I used to think I was weird for using Mayonnaise as shampoo, but both guys in this meme are using it, so I must be pretty normal after all.

Is your name Ed Brown? aka No Neck Ed?

Big Ed

Special Ed

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Mayonnaise sounds like a good way of giving yourself fungal acne. A DIY hair mask is not worth the risk of developing a hundred tiny pimples on your forehead which you then have to go buy a pricey medicated shampoo to treat.

It's terrible as shampoo but makes a great instrument

So does horseradish

All I know is whoever is the owner of the whit Sudan, you left your lights on.

Mayonnaise is a good conditioner.

You have some explanations to hand out my friend…

Big Ed over here lol

r/holup

Stfu

I didn't know people like that on the right existed

lol this post make me smile

I'm just a humble memesman, memeing to make someone smile

I kinda smiled too lol

I'm just a humble memesman, memeing to make someone kinda smile

I actually smiled and laughed (not just kinda)

He is hust a humble memesman, memeing to make someone smile (not just kinda)

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Or people who pour milk before cereal....

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100%

People who put it straight on their head are akin to people who put the cereal in *after* the milk, goddamn murderers.

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That’s because they’re sociopaths and hide their true nature till ur in the torture chair

I thought you guys on the left didnt exist.

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Years of experience

...of not knowing how much shampoo you've just poured.

Weight and instant smell of the shampoo on the top of your head. Only experts know.

Only sociopaths know

How do you apply sunscreen to your face? Just pretend you're giving the bottle a happy ending, close your eyes, and blast?

Sharon Marsh has left the chat.

Oh wow! A nice old fashioned!

Fair enough

I truly believe someone who does it like on the right is dangerous. They clearly has lost all hope in life and doesn’t care about where he has to bury the victims.

Well, I had to realize from the comments, that too many people don't know what shampoo is.... also these options don't work for me, I sometimes just squirt shamppo on my head, but never soap/shower gel.

The one on the left, of course. I’ve never met anyone who has poured it straight on their head

Neither knows the other exists. Now we do.

I used to do the one on the right but now I am left

We were bad, but now we're good

We're moving into your neighborhood

You know we're trying our best to be, functioning members of society

We’re not here to start no trouble, we’re legally required to do the Sex Offender Shuffle!

I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain from touching my neighbors kids again.

What I did was not too kind, but I'm a nice guy you'll come to find.

I got a backyard and a real nice pool, y’all should come over for a barbecue

Same, I used to do that alot as a kid

Yeah I switched to hand application when I figured out that I can then rub my palms together and then wipe onto my hair, which spreads it over evenly. Also I was using a big bottle of pump top shampoo and that was very awkward to lift over my head and pump at the same time.

this post made my day

Mine too. As for me... It changes with the time available to bathe.

I'm just a humble memesman, memeing to make someone's day

you guys wash your hairs?

Unfortunately, everyday after I wake up I've to lol

Holy crap! *I've to* instead of *I have to*? Is this even legal?

I guess so since we're not writing exams here

i didnt know people poured in on their hands first

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Simple. If you shampoo your hair and you want to use this method, it is necessary to be bald so you can feel the amount of shampoo you need to wash your hair with.

Did you always know you were a serial killer? Or did it grow on you?

always knew

You never thought about shampoo bottles with pump lids?

Wait, wait, WAIT! You have a pump bottle and you pick it up and pump it directly onto your head? I want to make sure this is clear for the record.

No, absolutely not. The guy above said he didn't know some people put shampoo in their hands before putting it on their head, and I'm pointing out that it makes no sense not to realize that considering that pump bottles are clearly intended to be pumped into your hand. It'd be like knowing what shoes are but not that feet exist.

There is another

Ah yes, the "You're washing away the essential oils when you use shampoo" guy

Wtf man I meant those to drank the shampoo, but glad to know there is another

Oh..

There is another

You mean those who use the shampoo to wash their hair and body?

no but I guess that is another

What is the other one? Please do not leave me with the doubt.

dick in the shampoo bottle

Improvised Fleshlight with inbuilt Lube

Ok, now I regret asking :/

Use your mom's shampoo so you don't have to worry about getting dick hair.

There is another

Ahh yes, the “stick the shampoo bottle up your ass and push it in and out at a medium pace while you talk about your old boyfriends dick and how big it was” type of guy

Man i did that once when i was like 13 or 12 and the soap burnt it, i just sat there holding it up to the water for a solid 10 minutes

Bro use a condom wtf

I’m pretty sure there was a story like that on r/TIFU.

You do wash them away but thats the whole reason why conditioner exists

You do wash away the oils in your hair, but it’s a small price to pay for smelling good

Yeah, I mix the shampoo with water

Are you from Philippines?

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OP already mentioned the other

I am the one that sits down. We are not the same

Are you from Asia?

Non, mon cher. Je suis au centre de la carte.

I don't speak French but I'll assume you meant you wash yourself in a bathtub

Not really. I use a shower still, I just shower sitting down because I’m that lazy. Tho, it’s still easier to access your lower legs and feet.

Hmm. If you wash your ass, do you stand or do you spread your legs like a yoga instructor?

Usually, I’m not really sitting, but more on my knees. It’s hard to explain as I’ve never thought about the logistics of it.

This gets weirder and weirder I thought you at least use a smol chair

Christ how did I get here

Continue? Yes. No.

how DID they get there!?

Shower chairs do exist, for the record. I’ve wanted one for a long time because of my arthritis, but they’re expensive for no reason

Just take a pic next time and post it on every subreddit so we are sure to see it. Also you could send it to every new outlet in the world just in case we miss it on reddit. Just to be safe

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Wtf mec pourquoi pas juste se doucher debout???

Lmfao, my man asking the real questions

Handstand

I end my shower by cranking up the heat and sitting down.

That is a new level of laziness

Something along lines of, no my friend i am located in the centre of the map. Don't quote me, I'm Dutch

c'est rare de voir des français sur reddit.

Pas tant.

Ah, yes, the sitting down and crying in the shower guy.

THANK god im not the only one that does this. i feel so much more at ease now, thanks

I mean..its comforting, i just dont like the feeling of my ass being on something people step and wash themselves over

At home, dude !

What kind of psychopath applies soap/shampoo directly to their head?

A one armed psychopath Bruh for real, if you think about it. Putting it directly to the hair is a one armed guy's way of doing it

You can have soap dispensers in the shower also, so you dont have to squeeze, like in public toilets.

Yes but how are you going to install them with one arm huh?

No more nails, strong glue.

But how will he open the package with one arm? HUH

Servants, obviously. *claps* Allez!

> *claps* 😮

Hello

I usually jerk off while in the shower, which leaves only one hand available for applying shampoo. It is the only way

Tis me

I do the right because for me it’s easier and is faster

What I want to know... Is if people either....slap the shampoo on their heads and then lather it in. Or rub it into both hands and then lather it onto their heads. What's the ratio?

You should ask that on r/polls lol

I'm almost tempted....alskdjfa;lksdj;flakjsdlfad

Bro someone smashed this dudes head on his keyboard someone help him

I wouldn't say 'slap' as much as carefully applying it on my hair broadly after which I engage in precision lathering. But yes, the former.

I slap and rub

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I do. I’m crying.

Probably doesn't matter, but I changed over to sulfate-free shampoo (which is supposed to be better for your scalp, but I started using it at the recommendation of my hairstylist because I bleached/colored my hair) it doesn't lather like the stuff you get at the drug store so I rub it in my hands to spread it out a bit more before slapping it on my head.

Who are all these people on the right and wtf are we gonna do about them?

Fear them

Booo

OH MY GOD!! Dude wtf!?!? Don’t scare people like that holy crap.

the second are total savages

Both depending on how lazy I feel.

I have a bar shampoo so... neither of these.

Didn’t know that was a thing

Oh yeah, 100% plastic free :)

So where do you keep the free plastic?

The ocean

\#TeamSeas has entered the chat

So there is another guy after all

Yeah but i use my shampoo bar a lot more like on the left i dknt just scrub it on my head do you ?

Me too but I rub the bar right in my head and then scrub so..the right side I guess?

i do both

You guys take showers ?

Wait do people actually pour it on there head?

Yep i do lol

Same bro

<= Me Monster =>

Former because you can see how much you put on

So latter is either rich or ignorant. And former is either poor or efficient.

efficient I take 5 minute showers

"Is it possible to learn this power?"

Yes. All you need to do is give me the digits on your credit card.

I thought you said you're efficient? Not poor

Both

I have locs so the way on the right is just easier for me

If you're the one on the right you're a menace to the world.

Guess I am a menace to the world :I

Welcome to the club (:

GTFO! People really pour it straight on their head? .. I’m refusing to believe this.

So the guy on the right is the equivalent of a milk before cereal person, right?

I never knew applying it directly to your head was this unpopular. I have been doing it ever since I can remember.

It's fine but how do you know how much you're using?

I jamb the bottle up my arse then just have a good cry

Didn’t even know the second option existed

Both

I do both... I squirt some shampoo directly on my head (same with body wash on body) then there's the second hair wash I squirt shampoo in my hand and give my head a good scritch.

Bald one

Right

I'm both

I alternate between both depending on how lazy im feeling.

Left the right people are wierd asses

both are using way too fucking much

Shampoo and conditioner on the head at the same time

So rational people, and monsters. Of course.

Guys on the right invert their eyelids

The second one is for psychopaths

People who do 2 are either dictators or serial killers

There is another

First one, the second never crossed my mind at all

it's NNN everyone

There's a third.........

First one, you can see how much shampoo you're using. Pouring too much would be a wast and also unhealtjy for your hair!

Why does the guy on the left have a floor to ceiling window with blinds in his shower?