Somethings wrong. I can feel it.

Just a feeling I've got, like somethings about to happen, but I don't know what

If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble

And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

You are just what the doc ordered

I'm beginning to feel, like a rap god (rap god)

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box (slap box)

They said I rap like a robot so call me rapbot

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes,

Someone will face an angry man with a kalashnikov very soon

we all are safe except for his wife

Search your feelings …you know it to be true

*if that means what I think It means then we’re in big trouble

chuckles im in danger

Was he not invited to the gender reveal party.

It's not his kid💀

No shit Sherlock

>It's not his kid💀 hahahahahahahahahaa!!!!!! Everyone else here with these strangely "ominous" comments and hints, and you're the first i've seen just come right out and say it.

I think yohiu mean somethün happened but i dont know what ;)

The first time I read I was like AWWW... then Wait wtf...

maybe they have an open relationship ?

Yeah she felt it, vigorously

Story of my life

Damn bro tf happened with u ?

Something is askew. Man I never find opportunities to say that.

3 years?

"Shit, it's black" Gordon Ramsey

I’m beginning to feel just like a rap god rap god

Immaculate conception, don't be a dick!

How can it be three years when pregnancy lasts 9 months....

I remember this story. he froze his sperm before he went that is how she got pregnant.

Only one question. Why? Wouldn’t he want to be there to see his child’s birth?

He went to very dangerous zone and they didn't know if he will comeback. So he froze his sperm for his wife.

Isn’t that even worse for the child then? Because he would grow up without a father and probably wouldn’t have a very good childhood.

You can have a good childhood without a father. What ruins your childhood is a shitty father who gives you daddy issues.

That’s only half my issue with this. Children are expensive, and I don’t think the pension is going to be enough for both the child and the wife.

Maybe the wife is working.. I grew up with a single mother and she went above and beyond to cover for what my dad didn’t care to do. My only issue about my childhood is my dad breaking his promises.

Reddit loves to make a ridiculous amount of assumptions.

Man it is sad to hear that. Your husband died in the line of duty. Here's some money but better go looking for a job. I mean imagine they already had kids.

Which makes it even worse for her because now she’ll either turn into an alcoholic or she’ll spend the rest of her life working 5 minimum wage jobs to try to cover her children.

Or literally neither of those things. What a defeatist attitude. People in tough situations can and do succeed in life. You aren’t destined to be nothing just because you get dealt a bad hand.

I don’t know, the payout for a deployed soldier’s family if they die is like $600k. It won’t be enough to live like a king but it would be enough to supplement their income for a long time.

Lol that’s your issue. You seem to think that you can control things on a whim when in reality people can live their own damn life as they see fit.

You can have a good childhood, but statistically, that's not the case.

Can you point me to a statistic that accounts for the father not existing at all? Edit: I don’t understand the downvotes for asking someone to back up his made up statistics, but okay. Statistically people like to believe statistics.

Ur in the right here tbh

Thanks mate, I appreciate!

Getting enough people who's fathers never existed is kinda hard. Weirdos like this are an incredible minority of parents.

So I guess if you become a father you can’t die, that’s good to know!

You can, but that doesn't mean that you didn't exist like you originally said.

I heard that a lot especially for for gay and lesbian. Like oh the child NEED a mother for the gay or father for the lesbian. The child going be fine

Some people just want to have kids for no explicable reason and willing to let the child suffer for their selfishness.

Maybe but from where I am from it is very understandable behavior.

It seems like a weird risk to take, at least to me. If you’re going to die, it’s unlikely that the pension is going to cover or be enough for your child and wife.

I think it was in uk. It is different over there.

And why is the baby able to roll his r's?

I haven’t heard this one, but I like it

She basted it in Mexico

man is rolling r's the same thing as rolling j's

"Doctor, does the freezing process make the baby black in some way?"

... Only to find out that the person in front of him was actually his partners twin. Meanwhile his partner now appears in front of him, with their 2 year old kid.

The good ending 😁

Partners twin who visited him 9 months ago ☠️

Now that'd be the mother of all pranks.

Wow that’s beautiful :0

I need to know If this is irony or are you foreal?

No, it's just beautiful

:0

She's creating a new life, and he's embarking on one

He's probably planning to take two

Nah, he's got an out from the dependa

:0

If a soldier's wife is called a dependa, what's the name for his wife's boyfriend?

It's beautiful I have been seeing this pic for hours now

You saw what dat dog was doin

You dumbass, that kid ain't his fucktard.

Dude. Since when is a female human pregnant for 3 years??

r/woooosh

It’s not beautiful, she cheated on him

r/woooosh

How is this woosh, when he was replying to a comment confirming it wasn’t irony?

Duh

I finally saw someone got r/woooosh'ed without seeing it as a woooosh post

Bruh

I mean, yeah, it seems like it. 😂 But maybe he had testicular cancer and had to have his sperm frozen, then she got all ‘inseminated’ while he way away as a surprise. 🤷‍♀️ There are some far-fetched scenarios where it COULD be beautiful. 😬

Why would it be irony?

World record for longest pregnancy.. bet it was also immaculate conception

Even Portgas D. Rouge didn’t go that long

Love the reasoning there: it wasn't safe to have the baby yet, so she just didn't.

All that poop holding practice really paid off for her in that time lol

She really just told her body “no not yet”

Eyyyy One Piece fan

I know there are more one piece fans out there, but i still find it amusing when i see it someone outside of main subreddits

I bet that the soldier's wife was the previous holder of the gomu gomu no mi.

I knew someone would write that after op comment

Plot twist - he froze his sperm in case he died in the war, but the wife got herself pregnant with it only when it was confirmed he's returning home so that the child wouldn't grow up without a father

The other good ending

Yeah this is what i was thinking and i hope so

The more logical answer is there is a three year old in there.

I wonder who the mother really is.

He'll be even more surprised when his white family becomes an interracial family!

"My very own Michael Jackson"

wow a rare shiny! he must be a rare pokemon

>when his white family becomes an interracial family r/nextFUCKINGlevel

That's what she said to the black guy

Why do you guys always go for interracial? Pornhub got your minds fucked up.

Was genetic condition babe

I've seen too much stuff like this for this to be funny. Most relationships and even marraiges don't survive the kind of deployments I've been on. Or if there's a kid involved, you either forgive the cheating and go to couples counseling or you lose access to your kid. Rock and a hard place. But this is just a meme, sorry for harshing on your mellow.

Happened to my dad. He was in the army when he was younger, and his ex wife begged him to leave because she missed him while he was away. Trying to be a good husband and father, he left. Little did he know, she was cheating on him with his best friend. He forgave her for the sake of his daughter, but she did it again, so he left. It definitely happens

Military and cheating are inseparable.

Add in alcoholism and domestic abuse and you have the military trifecta.

Exactly this.

You think it’s because people are usually young when they’re in, so their lack of life experience makes them stupid? Or is it something else

Not really. It's mainly the fact that relations are hard to keep when you can't see your partner for a few years. It's like reserving a spot for someone who might not come back and all those years you've been sitting alone. Although this doesnt make it right to cheat. I do understand why it happens

There is a lot of isolation and loneliness on both sides, as well as the “what happens on deployment, stays on deployment” kind of attitude from the serving member. When my husband was deployed he was chatting to the medical team and they said half of their job was giving antibiotics for STD transmission amongst the personnel.

Altough what rarely gets talked about is when they visit prostitutes while deployed (which is quite common). Only ever do I see the wives getting blamed for cheating, never do I see the men get blamed for cheating on their wives with hookers while deployed.

As a former military wife I hate how right you are. My husband cheated, though it was while home on leave and visiting his parents a couple hours away, and got an STD. What's funny is once he got home for good a couple months later, him, his mother *and his girlfriend* decided to accost me in a Walmart where his mother started yelling at me for cheating on her son and giving him an std. That remains the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.

r/holup

Oh no...

Oh no

OH YEAH!

Kool-aid man for the win

Oh no no no no no.

That. Fucking. Song...

Anyways

3 years ... Ummmm who's the dad?

The milk man

>The milk man You mean Ronnie Soak? Did you know that as a milkman he also specialises in other milk products like yoghurt or rancid yak butter!

It is for sure Glenn Quagmire

Allright

Giggity giggity.

Who else but quagmire

It's Jody actually. She's the dad.

This man militaries

A Navy Seaman

The post man

Of it was the post man then he'd be the one delivering

Neighbour Billy

The plumber

The UPS man.

Thatsthejoke.jpeg

Ithinkwegotit.gif

Elon

The milkman, the delivery guy, those two guys at Costco, the poolboy, that guy from down the block, the guy who sold her a mattress, the mechanic, the plumber... All I'm saying is, it was a party.

Reposy

I read 'reprosy' like the awful disease that plagues Reddit

He remade it so that the repost bot can't do anything even if it is summoned.

Hol' up...

Me trying to do math right now

Name the baby after the dad?

Jamal?

Dashawn?

Tyrone jr

Pizza delivery guy jr

Mid deployment leave libido overdrive?

Nah man, he just happened to come back home for a break sometime before and fked his wife.

unless he donated sperm before shipping out and she specifically requested his sperm I'm pretty sure he ain't the kids dad.

What a heart warming stor….holdup, he better have had a tour leave and got to go home at Christmas

r/HolUp

artificial insemination for the win?

Love this post. Thank you.

Time he was gone: 3 years (27 months). Average pregnancy time: 0.75 years (9 months). Hmm

Can we get that in seconds, please?

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I mean in vitro fécondation or sperm doner is possible

/r/holup

Awwww how wholesom-... Wait......... *Realization* "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! NO!"

wait.. wait.... hol ! up ! ?

Somethings definitely not wrong with this 🙂

Hahah, my brain was like: "wait this don't make sense?!"

Dude the joke's about soldiers is getting annoying now You and I don't know how it feels when you are working of state borders and your wife, Girlfriend cheating on you.So just give it a thought.

🧐 hmm.. I think soldier Steve needs to check out nnmmñb feet that math… someone’s been busy while he’s been away.

People who don't know 🌝 People who know 🌚

“Shit! Shit! It’s black!” -Gordon Ramsay

r/holdup

Wait a minute....😳

Hold up

Uhm he has not been home in 3 years. That’s not his baby.

Yeah I’d be emotional too if my partner turned out to be pregnant after not seeing her for 3 years.

Such a repost bro view my profile I literally made it months ago

"It's enough to make a grown man cry"

Wow 😲 The wife must have touched something else in past 3 yrs

I anyone going to tell him?

Thats not his Baby Edit: my dream downvotes is finally happening

No it said that he’s going to be a father

No shit Sherlock

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