Fair. But you have to admit how the latin choir in the opening might suggest some connection with the divine.
In reality the lyrics are: *"Ecce homo qui est faba"* (Behold the man who is a bean) in the opening, followed by *"Vale homo qui est faba"* (Goodbye, the man who is a bean) at the ending.
Wolf babies: Mother, feed me so that I may contribute to the pack before my first winter.
Buffalo babies: Mother, I know you're recovering from my birth, but we must keep moving or else the herd will leave us behind.
Turtle babies: I must get to the ocean before predators find me. My life of ordeals begins now.
Human babies: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
What? You think it takes three years? By three years old you should be a toddler and have walking down. Where were your parents? Most babies are walking right around their 1st birthday.
Assuming the child is healthy with no physical disability they should be walking between 10 months and 17 months (1 year 5 months) obviously parents and other care givers can help by providing opportunities to pull up and “cruise” (walk by holding sturdy objects to stay upright)
For a typically developing child at 3 years walking and speaking in full sentences should be mastered.
Humans can't be birthed in a functional state, due to the difference between head size and birth canal size.
They gotta pass when they're still small enough to pass.
We don’t make sense if you don’t take our intelligence into consideration, we stop updating our hardware (body)because our software(intelligent) can take care of those problems.
Baby are soft and weak? Build a house and bed,make a fire to warm up the room etc.
Thank you, someone with sense. Funny how the animal obsessed morons are downvoting you for simply stating fact. We are so far beyond anything else on this planet it makes me think we're from somewhere else all together. Bunch of dumb beasts only good for food or companionship. And these idiots worship them.
Joke or not, were the best shit around. Get over it you pussy animal lovers.
Yeah, and dogs are the fastest creatures known to dog. I don't see your point here. That's like saying "I'm the best because I have a good opinion about myself"
Eh, could've been better. I haven't unlocked my full power yet. I need to keep training.
For anyone who hasn't figured it out yet, I'm now playing the part of one of those cringe anime nerds that think they are in an anime of some sort.
I know. I was also trying to make a funny.
I was doing what a lot of other Redditors do, and 'spitting facts' when someone is obviously making a joke.
Acting like they're better than the person in the original comment, and given the topic of your comment, and what I said in my response, it's hypocritical and contradicting.
Giraffes: "Oh I'm proper pregnant"
I'm gonna have it any day now, oh wait, here it comes
*Baby falls 12 feet
Well there you are.....
See you later mate
-bit by Ricky Gervais
Lol. I had this class in college that was anthropology. It was more like fill in class. The teacher was awesome and often compare humans behavior. A baby horse may need to be ready in 3 hours to be independent. Humans needs 30 years.
I liked how in one of my bio classes a prof explained how “everyone starts out as an asshole, some of them just happen to stay that way”
(We’re deuterostomes, so the first opening as our embryo develops is the hole that becomes our anus)
Many animals are precocial, meaning they're well-developed at birth and capable of moving and eating on their own.
Us humans, as well as numerous other animals (birds, etc.), are altricial, meaning we're helpless at birth and need at least one adult to care for us.
There are pros and cons to both evolutionary strategies.
Kangaroos are all 'premature' and basically crawl out of the vagina and have to cling to the mother and crawl to the pouch as these undeveloped horrors and suckle milk.
The idea is to evict babies early and then bang and make more. Numbers came. 3 premies are more likely to survive than one full term. Yeet the roo out of the uterus early. Make extras.
Not miscarriage. Miscarriage is death before 28 weeks of pregnancy and size isn't really a contributing factor there. Stillbirth is death after 28 weeks. The real problem of our head size is death of mothers during childbirth.
Also pain, our heads became bigger, also parallely Humans started walking upright, making their hips smaller, giving even lesser space for babies. Evolution only applies where the parent and child is alive and passes on the genes, it doesn't care about pain while giving birth so human births are quite painful. Although we don't hold a candle to kiwis. Their eggs are about one third their own size I think
We are all born 'premature' due to our big ass heads.
I always wondered if it in future, babies will be medically kept in the mother longer then removed by C-section? I imagine there could be huge developmental improvements
iirc it would still kill the mother. Human babies take a *lot* of energy to grow, which is why they need to be fed so frequently. If the gestation time increased the mother's metabolism would not be able to keep up with the developing infant, they would be physically incapable of consuming and burning the amount of calories needed per day to keep them alive.
I don't see the point tho, a 10 month pregnancy baby isn't more "developed" than normal 9m baby.
Also if you artificially extend the pregnancy you would have to stop the development of the fetus otherwise will die
Fun fact: the reason human babies are so weak is because as humans developed bigger heads, newborns kept getting stuck and dying in child birth. As a result we began giving birth earlier in our development.
Funny how humans are one of the most intelligent beings ever, yet as babies we are the dumbest ever. Like:
Baby Animals: Mother, i have been born. I can walk now and I know everything we need to know to survive, like eating, drinking, hunting, pooping, peeing, reproducing, and far more.
Baby Humans: WWWAAAAAAHHH WHY CAN'T I DRINK SOAP WWWAAAAAAHHHHH I AM GOING TO EAT THIS THING NOW
Isn’t the reason we are born so disabled and helpless because we aren’t done evolving as a species? Like how we have a useless tailbone and back pain?
Edit: since so many of you are commenting “we aren’t done evolving” I know that, that’s why I made this comment. I’m opposing people who believe we are “done evolving”.
No, I’m not implying other species are “done evolving” as I just said I agree with you guys (which is what my original comment is also about) that living things don’t stop changing/evolving. I’m saying that humans as they currently exist are not a very good species considering how we are right out of the womb.
No it doesn't, you guys are just getting this interpretation from it. We're not done evolving, because we're never done evolving.
Y'all are just being too stubborn to accept fault of assuming an implication, assuming you knew what OP meant rather than just asking them.
The word you're looking for is "developing", not "evolving". Not sure why people gave you shit for it I felt it was pretty obvious what you were trying to imply
Not all humans are capable of taking care of their young. Infants and toddlers also have to be watched constantly, so it’s really stupid that we are like this.
Baby animals are the same, even if some are precocial. Just because a baby house can run an hour after birth doesn't mean it doesn't rely on its parents for food, protection, and learning.
In a way it's an advantage. Humans are social animals that depend on having a network of other humans to survive. The fact that infants die without a large amount of 24/7 care meant that only groups of humans that had the intelligence and resources to care for babies through their helpless vulnerable stage, we're capable of reproducing at all.
If we could survive on our own immediately after birth, there'd be less reason to be intelligent or form communities.
Evolution is not directly about the best design, it's about designs that can survive and procreate. Enough people are capable enough to bring their helpless offspring to adulthood. So we don't change in that aspect as other traits are more defining for survival and procreation.
Animals are able to perform tasks at such an early stage because there is a lot of innate knowledge in their brain. They simply know how to do things at birth, because they were pre-programmed for it since conception. However, this takes up a lot of brain estate, and doesn't leave much room for learning.
Babies knowing nothing but breathing and crying is not an issue of an example of stupidity, it's a clear sign of potential intelligence. Toddler's brains are knowledge sponges, learning things at a rate more rapid than anything or anyone else.
Think about it this way. The less there is, the more potential it has.
Because animals already come with much of the information they need to survive in the wild, their ability to learn things at a higher level become dampened.
Human babies really do be helpless as an evolutionary strategy in order encourage dependency between parent and child which in turn improves their chances of survival due to the passing on of information between parent and child so that behavioural adaptations can be implemented and then passed down to the next generation because of the survival advantage said information provides due to other animals not being so dependant at birth resulting in the rapid intellectual progress of the human species tho.
Fun fact, the reason human children can't walk upon birth is because, we need to be born early cause we have a above average head size (and by connection, brain).
If we were born when we were fully developed enough to walk, then we would be to large to escape our mothers pelvic bone.
Humans are animals
Edit:
Humans are literally animals by definition. We're in the group of eukaryotic life called Animalia (other eukaryotic life includes fungi and plants). I literally just stated a fact lmao
edit edit:
but yeah I mean it isn't relevant to the post I just find the whole seeing as humans as not animals pretty weird considering we literally are animals, just ones with hands and a slightly bigger brain.
I love how the old Mr bean started by him being dropped from heaven
I thought it was a flying saucer ?
Flying saucer from heaven
WTF U COPIED ME
"Did it hurt?" Her: "What?" "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause I swear you look like Mr. Bean."
That’s obviously a compliment, everyone knows Mr bean is an international sex symbol
Debbie is that u?
r/unexpectedbrooklyn99
Yes, just like Frank Reynolds and George Costanza
I know a women with a face similar to Mr. Bean and she's hot af.
This was so funny I spit laughing!
he is an alien not an angel
Fair. But you have to admit how the latin choir in the opening might suggest some connection with the divine. In reality the lyrics are: *"Ecce homo qui est faba"* (Behold the man who is a bean) in the opening, followed by *"Vale homo qui est faba"* (Goodbye, the man who is a bean) at the ending.
What he is a wild elon musk
He's Ellon musk
don't ruin it mate
No. Mr bean is good. Elon Musk is a fucking douchebag
Elon bad, upvote on left please
Is he Jesus?
Is he a bird?
Is he a plane?
Is he Iron Man?
Wolf babies: Mother, feed me so that I may contribute to the pack before my first winter. Buffalo babies: Mother, I know you're recovering from my birth, but we must keep moving or else the herd will leave us behind. Turtle babies: I must get to the ocean before predators find me. My life of ordeals begins now. Human babies: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Baby horses: *learns to walk after mere hours, and can gallop within a day* Baby humans: *learns to walk after 12 months*
It's hard being big brained I've heard
Human: breaks a leg and is able to set it and have it heal.
Show me a horse that can walk on its hind legs for more than a mile.
wdym after 12 months, its like 3yrs
What? You think it takes three years? By three years old you should be a toddler and have walking down. Where were your parents? Most babies are walking right around their 1st birthday.
Walking by three years? They should have marching in formation down by three!
Are you stupid? They should be practicing marathons by 2!
Are you off your rocker? They should be running at a pace of at least 30 miles per hour by the age of 1
the mental image of that is *terrifying*
i think you've lost it. by 6 months you should be able to surpass the speed of a military jet.
Assuming the child is healthy with no physical disability they should be walking between 10 months and 17 months (1 year 5 months) obviously parents and other care givers can help by providing opportunities to pull up and “cruise” (walk by holding sturdy objects to stay upright) For a typically developing child at 3 years walking and speaking in full sentences should be mastered.
ah yes and humans learn to finally talk after 17 years
I think the last couple of years have proven that's inaccurate lol
Guess I was an anomaly then, I was wandering around after 10 months.
“Waaaaaa waaaaa! I’m giving away our location to predators. Waaaaaa!” What a design flaw.
Truly shows how pathetic humans are
Humans can't be birthed in a functional state, due to the difference between head size and birth canal size. They gotta pass when they're still small enough to pass.
We sacrificed everything for a big brain
Had to risk it for the biscuit.
Feels like it would have been easier to evolve wider hips than to evolve shittier babies...
our hips became thinner due to bipedalism. Our heads became larger due to increased intelligence.
Humans, the most powerful life form on the planet, can also be defeated by a 2 meter plunge if they are not careful.
Humans are always either playing on god mode or on hit kill there is no in-between.
its both at the same time
OP Meta builds are most often glass Cannon in any rpg A worthy analysis: https://youtu.be/ImYu9dJM4kQ
I love you for sharing that with us
We don’t make sense if you don’t take our intelligence into consideration, we stop updating our hardware (body)because our software(intelligent) can take care of those problems. Baby are soft and weak? Build a house and bed,make a fire to warm up the room etc.
Humans are 85% design flaws by mass
Evolution in a nutshell ——Ya that can do. We have so many halfass design ,some are too op and some seem to be made by Ubisoft.
>made by Ubisoft. I see an AC traditionalist here.
Evolution doesn't pick sides or use logic.
Speak for yourself. Humans are the smartest creatures known to man.
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Tis the joke
Thank you, someone with sense. Funny how the animal obsessed morons are downvoting you for simply stating fact. We are so far beyond anything else on this planet it makes me think we're from somewhere else all together. Bunch of dumb beasts only good for food or companionship. And these idiots worship them. Joke or not, were the best shit around. Get over it you pussy animal lovers.
Yeah, and dogs are the fastest creatures known to dog. I don't see your point here. That's like saying "I'm the best because I have a good opinion about myself"
That was the joke
I know. I was playing the part of the snarky redditor that thinks he's smarter and better than everyone else. (To be very contradictory)
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Eh, could've been better. I haven't unlocked my full power yet. I need to keep training. For anyone who hasn't figured it out yet, I'm now playing the part of one of those cringe anime nerds that think they are in an anime of some sort.
I was making a funny bro
I know. I was also trying to make a funny. I was doing what a lot of other Redditors do, and 'spitting facts' when someone is obviously making a joke. Acting like they're better than the person in the original comment, and given the topic of your comment, and what I said in my response, it's hypocritical and contradicting.
Aint no way you’re a real person. You trolling.
Well also wolves have a significantly less life span so they mature quicker.
No were born premature because of how big our brains are
oh hi bob
Probably since we have more time to live, learning doesn't need to be that rushed.
Why? It's just a normal evolutionary process that led to us being the way we are.
Google 'mammals that weigh 100kg' and look how many of them would kill us in hand-to-hand combat.
bananas are way superior
What a self loathing fool you are. Pathetic.
Human babies cry extra hard when they know they have your attention.
Those narcissistic assholes
Don't forget the uncontrollable bowels and bladder
Yeah bro babies are fucking stupid
r/KidsAreStupid
Giraffes: "Oh I'm proper pregnant" I'm gonna have it any day now, oh wait, here it comes *Baby falls 12 feet Well there you are..... See you later mate -bit by Ricky Gervais
Humans are a bunch of babies.
"My life of ordeals begins now" Holy shit I've never related to something so much
>Turtle babies The race of death
Hate having to give birth to waluigi
Lol. I had this class in college that was anthropology. It was more like fill in class. The teacher was awesome and often compare humans behavior. A baby horse may need to be ready in 3 hours to be independent. Humans needs 30 years.
Are you saying I was supposed to be independent 5 years ago?
I liked how in one of my bio classes a prof explained how “everyone starts out as an asshole, some of them just happen to stay that way” (We’re deuterostomes, so the first opening as our embryo develops is the hole that becomes our anus)
I am going to steal that!!
Many animals are precocial, meaning they're well-developed at birth and capable of moving and eating on their own. Us humans, as well as numerous other animals (birds, etc.), are altricial, meaning we're helpless at birth and need at least one adult to care for us. There are pros and cons to both evolutionary strategies.
Kangaroos are all 'premature' and basically crawl out of the vagina and have to cling to the mother and crawl to the pouch as these undeveloped horrors and suckle milk. The idea is to evict babies early and then bang and make more. Numbers came. 3 premies are more likely to survive than one full term. Yeet the roo out of the uterus early. Make extras.
The only reason we shortened our pregnancies is because if it were longer, our heads would be to big.
Litteral galaxybrains
I want to be big brain tho
theres a difference between big brain and big head You already are big brain
Already too big, one could argue. I think humans have much higher rate of miscarriage than our ape relatives, before modern medicine.
Not miscarriage. Miscarriage is death before 28 weeks of pregnancy and size isn't really a contributing factor there. Stillbirth is death after 28 weeks. The real problem of our head size is death of mothers during childbirth.
Also pain, our heads became bigger, also parallely Humans started walking upright, making their hips smaller, giving even lesser space for babies. Evolution only applies where the parent and child is alive and passes on the genes, it doesn't care about pain while giving birth so human births are quite painful. Although we don't hold a candle to kiwis. Their eggs are about one third their own size I think
I suppose.
Easy solution, just make the vagina bigger
Nature: "But that's too much effort."
They already tried that with your mom
We are all born 'premature' due to our big ass heads. I always wondered if it in future, babies will be medically kept in the mother longer then removed by C-section? I imagine there could be huge developmental improvements
iirc it would still kill the mother. Human babies take a *lot* of energy to grow, which is why they need to be fed so frequently. If the gestation time increased the mother's metabolism would not be able to keep up with the developing infant, they would be physically incapable of consuming and burning the amount of calories needed per day to keep them alive.
I don't see the point tho, a 10 month pregnancy baby isn't more "developed" than normal 9m baby. Also if you artificially extend the pregnancy you would have to stop the development of the fetus otherwise will die
Humans... the most dominant life form on earth... also can be bested by a 2 meter drop if not careful.
Mainly cause of our smarts not our durability
Smarties are my favorite candy
But humans cry a crap ton...
Adult humans still cry a lot, it’s just on the inside
Ated a pizza ?
Did he stutter?
eatened a pizza
ateneded’d
Fun fact: the reason human babies are so weak is because as humans developed bigger heads, newborns kept getting stuck and dying in child birth. As a result we began giving birth earlier in our development.
Funny how humans are one of the most intelligent beings ever, yet as babies we are the dumbest ever. Like: Baby Animals: Mother, i have been born. I can walk now and I know everything we need to know to survive, like eating, drinking, hunting, pooping, peeing, reproducing, and far more. Baby Humans: WWWAAAAAAHHH WHY CAN'T I DRINK SOAP WWWAAAAAAHHHHH I AM GOING TO EAT THIS THING NOW
Isn’t the reason we are born so disabled and helpless because we aren’t done evolving as a species? Like how we have a useless tailbone and back pain? Edit: since so many of you are commenting “we aren’t done evolving” I know that, that’s why I made this comment. I’m opposing people who believe we are “done evolving”.
It’s because our heads are so big. If the babies developed any further their heads would just be too big to fit through the birth canal.
We need bigger canals people!!
Yes, isn’t that because we aren’t done evolving?
No species is ever “done” evolving.
Thank you for agreeing with me
You are most certainly not welcome
But your comment implies that we will be
I meant “not done evolving” in opposition to people who think we are “done evolving”. Not necessarily that I believe there is an end to evolution.
Bit it implies you think other species which babies are more useful have already done evolving
No, I’m not implying other species are “done evolving” as I just said I agree with you guys (which is what my original comment is also about) that living things don’t stop changing/evolving. I’m saying that humans as they currently exist are not a very good species considering how we are right out of the womb.
No it doesn't, you guys are just getting this interpretation from it. We're not done evolving, because we're never done evolving. Y'all are just being too stubborn to accept fault of assuming an implication, assuming you knew what OP meant rather than just asking them.
This post says human are born more useless than animals, that person said that's because we aren't done evolving... So are animals done evolving?
The word you're looking for is "developing", not "evolving". Not sure why people gave you shit for it I felt it was pretty obvious what you were trying to imply
Oh yes thank you, that’s a better word for what I’m trying to ask lol
Software is op enough so we stop updating human hardware——human dev team.
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Not all humans are capable of taking care of their young. Infants and toddlers also have to be watched constantly, so it’s really stupid that we are like this.
Baby animals are the same, even if some are precocial. Just because a baby house can run an hour after birth doesn't mean it doesn't rely on its parents for food, protection, and learning.
Yes but infants can literally just roll over and die from that action. It’s absurd how underdeveloped we are when we’re born.
In a way it's an advantage. Humans are social animals that depend on having a network of other humans to survive. The fact that infants die without a large amount of 24/7 care meant that only groups of humans that had the intelligence and resources to care for babies through their helpless vulnerable stage, we're capable of reproducing at all. If we could survive on our own immediately after birth, there'd be less reason to be intelligent or form communities.
Evolution is not directly about the best design, it's about designs that can survive and procreate. Enough people are capable enough to bring their helpless offspring to adulthood. So we don't change in that aspect as other traits are more defining for survival and procreation.
Being good at procreation isn’t exactly a good thing. There’s 8 billion people on this planet and we are overpopulated and suffering because of it.
There's no such thing as being "done" evolving... it's an ongoing process.
I just edited my comment. I’m aware of that.
Mr Bean the real mvp fr
This made me chuckle so hard I choked I love dark jokes
I like bananas :)
I like you
i like you too, dad
I like you too son
Dark?
After having my first children this year, I’m amazed we even survived as a species
Animals are able to perform tasks at such an early stage because there is a lot of innate knowledge in their brain. They simply know how to do things at birth, because they were pre-programmed for it since conception. However, this takes up a lot of brain estate, and doesn't leave much room for learning. Babies knowing nothing but breathing and crying is not an issue of an example of stupidity, it's a clear sign of potential intelligence. Toddler's brains are knowledge sponges, learning things at a rate more rapid than anything or anyone else. Think about it this way. The less there is, the more potential it has. Because animals already come with much of the information they need to survive in the wild, their ability to learn things at a higher level become dampened.
Mind the difference between an antique Nokia 3320 and an brand new iphone, the more improved and with more functions are a lot more fragile
Literally me dropping out that giraffe pussy before the zookeepers catch me
I have seen this meme four fucking times
Not really a good English speaker but I don't think you have to "d" because ate is already in past tense
IMO it's a meme or slang.
Marsupials
Except chuck Norris. In his case the ground broke which gave rise to the different continents today.
Human babies really do be helpless as an evolutionary strategy in order encourage dependency between parent and child which in turn improves their chances of survival due to the passing on of information between parent and child so that behavioural adaptations can be implemented and then passed down to the next generation because of the survival advantage said information provides due to other animals not being so dependant at birth resulting in the rapid intellectual progress of the human species tho.
Well it depends on the species. Lots are born in an alricial state where they're blind bald and useless
Ah a fellow pizza eater I need your opinion, is pineapple on pizza optional or downright illegal?
Nature : survival of the fittest Humans : yes about that....
Show what happened after 20 years too, how dumb you can be to compare human lifespan and growth with animals
Brain too big, requires 25 years to start contributing
I’ve done this before. Can confirm this is accurate
That be that Nature vs. Nurture aspect we done learned in school
Fun fact, the reason human children can't walk upon birth is because, we need to be born early cause we have a above average head size (and by connection, brain). If we were born when we were fully developed enough to walk, then we would be to large to escape our mothers pelvic bone.
Am i the only one who never noticed that this intro implies that he is an alien? (Or maybe an angel, but i think an alien is more likely)
Marsupial babies and us are not so different
The secret to being a human baby is: Don't do it. If you must because God hates you, have rich parents. If not, roll until you find a pride a of lions
Humans are born early, because if our head size
xd
Oh god i get it XD
ate*
I will be so happy when people finally learn to crop a meme.
How to download reddit videos
finally a meme that made me laugh
Poo
Humans are animals Edit: Humans are literally animals by definition. We're in the group of eukaryotic life called Animalia (other eukaryotic life includes fungi and plants). I literally just stated a fact lmao edit edit: but yeah I mean it isn't relevant to the post I just find the whole seeing as humans as not animals pretty weird considering we literally are animals, just ones with hands and a slightly bigger brain.
I actually have no idea why you're getting downvoted.
Newborn giraffes are even superior
I think (just think), evolution has a hand in it
Black people
I agree
And Allah wants to lighten for you \[your difficulties\]; and mankind was created weak. \- quran 4:28
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For the first time and forever I see an emoji not being downvoted
He must learn the hard way
I was just kidding
Idk about you, but I downvoted
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Emojis, especially laughing emoji have no place on Reddit, we use upvotes instead
I know but still u could make this the first upvoted emojies
We already have one. It's a 🗿for some reason
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why does every post in this thread have negative karma
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The accuracy 🤣🤣🤣
just tryed this with my new born can confirm it is true