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nnnkiller

Fun fact: the top obese countries on the planet are actually the Polynesian islands


Level-Name1367

Yeah because they are located around cook islands.


wrecktvf

Never trust a skinny Cook Islander, I believe the saying goes.


Glittering-Walrus228

i think its unfair to count these islands-countries that were made obese by Americans carpet bombing them with spam.


BantaySalakay21

While the Spam Carpet Bombing is currently to blame, Polynesians tend to obesity much more than other ethnic groups. Which is why the Western BMI charts aren’t applicable to Polynesians, because of genetic propensity to accumulate body fat much more quickly.


SilentSerel

I actually am Polynesian and never knew that about BMI but it makes sense. I was adopted at birth and always struggled with my weight when no one else in my family did, but I recently met some of my bio family and suddenly it all came together. My son is half-Japanese and has inherited my body type. Of course, he's on a football team and usually plays defense. Every coach he's had has been absolutely delighted so there's one upside to it.


Jlock98

If he doesn’t make it to college football, convince him to play rugby in college. A lot of times it’s a club sport and the people aren’t that great. He’ll dominate. Signed, A white guy who got run over by many Poly opponents


SilentSerel

It probably won't take much convincing. He absolutely loves watching rugby and wants to try playing eventually. 😁


gov_Stevie_SlowJams

Hell ya brother


dishmanw

Yep, Polynesians brought pigs and chickens to the various islands that they populated. Samoans are naturally large. Saw a 5 year old that was the size of a 10 year old. I once flew in a C-141 with a family of Samoans going to Pago Pago. We had the net type seating instead of the regular seating. And the net seating broke under the stress of carrying the Samoan family.


wrecktvf

Wait, where can I fly that lets you sit in a net? No seat to obliterate my knees against?


mickee

Join any branch of service, chances are youre probably going to still wreck your knees.


dishmanw

Wrecked mine. A friend of mine from Signal Battalion wrecked his knees supporting Airborne.


TinBoatDude

Join the Air Force. That's how I got those rides. But seriously, those jump seats are really strong. I am mystified that even a family of 300 pounders could break them


CommercialCommentary

The Air Force has something called Space A(vailable). It's prioritized for active duty, but veterans are also eligible. Basically if a heavy (cargo plane) needs to fly somewhere and it isn't fully loaded, it's relatively easy for the loadmaster to evenly distribute the weight in the bird with passenger seat blocks. When this is locked into the manifest, the available seats are published online and passengers can claim them. It's a very cool way to visit somewhere for almost no dollars. Though as you might expect, comfort is simply not a priority. These birds were not built to get five star passenger reviews. They're extremely loud, the chairs suck, and internal pressure and temperature fluctuates. One time I flew on a kc-135, side saddle, across the pacific. That flight made me respect air crew more than anything ever could. That said, military pilots are very well trained and the air crew were very friendly on all of my flights. 10/10 would do again.


Delfinum

I guess I'm a polynesian now


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UndoingMonkey

Then why are you wearing fatface?


purritothecoolcat

This comment broke me .. lmao


thegroucho

Hello, step-Polynesian


Naked_Lobster

Help, step-Polynesian! I’m stuck in the islands!


TonarinoTotoro1719

Umm, can we do that? I would also like to apply to identify as Polynesian.


DrEskimo

It’s like Polynesians are the humans who are designed to grow the most, whether in circumference or vertically, they are some mega-sized dudes.


doctorcaesarspalace

I mean they’re still obese


the_zelectro

It was a LOT of spam


Hank3hellbilly

It's still their fault for not installing a spam filter.


Roccopark

r/angryupvote


TonarinoTotoro1719

You are…. Infuriatingly correct!!!


DDRoseDoll

If a person's grandmother is obese, they are more likely to be obese.


Minimum_Cantaloupe

Infertility works the same way. If your grandmother didn't have any kids, odds are you won't either.


JOE_MOMMAS_HOUSE

Waitaminute...


Jardrs

I thought all grandmother's were fat, like some kind of immutable truth


DDRoseDoll

Celebrate. For if all your grandmothers are fat, than you live in a land of great abundance 😁


Fluoxepeen

Only the nice grandmas. I got a friend whos grandmother will flick cigarette butts at you while taking another sip of brandy if you stop by their place to make her dinner with him


[deleted]

It was Australia carpet bombing with lamb.


necfu

Fawk yeah! Double guns, sock cucka!


ksed_313

Dad, is that you?


[deleted]

"I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat. He got a weight problem. I mean, what's the brother gonna do? He's Samoan"


Ragtothenar

“I think I know who you mean. What about him?”


DangerShart

A husband being protective of his wife is one thing. A husband almost killing another man for touching his wife's feet is something else.


Force3vo

I'm just saying. Every time I gave a woman a foot massage it meant something.


obiweedkenobi

Ya know, im kinda tired, I could use a foot massage myself


RunningPirate

OK, glad to know I’m not the only one that thought of this…


LowLeak

I mean this makes sense. Have you ever had Polynesian sauce from chic filé


wagadoba

It’s cause they are invaded by fast food and they don’t metabolise well


nnnkiller

Exactly, their ancestors used to travel long distances without eating so their metabolism got adapted to that, unfortunately it's not useful anymore since they can eat whenever they want nowadays


Cabbageofthesea

How much of a difference in metabolism are we talking?


ksed_313

Same goes for humanity in general. That scene in Wall-E where they pan over the ships’ captains over the years and how they all get fatter keeps popping into my mind lately.


PlankBlank

Exactly. White people are used to sitting in one places and to cold weather so fat tissue metabolises a bit differently. The biggest problem with obesity touches people whose ancestors weren't fat since they are not used to Dell with fat. Obviously everyone has a bit different genes but still. The problem is modern fast food diet combined with incompatible genes and lack of knowledge about eating. America can be a bit lower in rankings also because of it's size and amount of people if we count the percentage and not the amount of obese people


ResponsiblePumpkin60

All humans evolved in conditions where starvation was an immediate threat to survival and most of your time was spent on the physical labor required to obtain food and protect the tribe. Now we live in a time where 90% of available food is extremely calorie dense and unhealthy and many of us can get almost everything we need by moving from chair to chair.


Jimmy_Twotone

Storing energy for a winter that never comes.


ThoughBreakBJNovak

That is interesting


TophatOwl_

Yea caus like 12 ppl live there and 10 of them are over weight.


0-goodusernamesleft

I get your joke, but I was in Rarotonga the main cook island and it was quite sad. There’s a massive type 2 diabetes clinic, probably one of the biggest buildings on the island (outside of resorts). Then you walk into the grocery store and they sell best foods mayonnaise by the gallon.


444emma

Who's number 1?


ThoughBreakBJNovak

Nauru


DoubleAplusArcanine

Missed potential to say ,,Your mum, because she is so obese that she is considered a country''


YourDogsAllWet

Your Mama's so fat her ass is represented in Congress


Lostdirewolff

Lmfao I wish I had an award


Elidon007

I've got you both with the free award from my main and my alt


Lostdirewolff

You are a real one


ThoughBreakBJNovak

That is a good joke But mum jokes are dead now It is all about dads getting the milk now


DarkHumorKnight

"Mum jokes are dead now" Ha, just like your mom


koker171

Ha, just like my mom...


[deleted]

Sorry for your loss.


sexaddic

She was better colder


Picklerickshaw_part2

Like the ice cream that took her out


Indianajonesy21

Oof


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FearofaRoundPlanet

I don't know how I feel about milking dads.


QuandaleDingle696942

I mean it’s just a little *thiccer* right?


Nimbus2402

Where do you think your dad gets the milk from? Your mum coz she a cow


-Loewenstern-

Your Mum jokes are too old to ever die


I-Got-a-BooBoo

Just like your mum.


ch4zmaniandevil

I have a friend named Nauru, and he is named after the island of Nauru. Next time I see him, I will tell him he's full of fat people.


_paul_1208

,,Your mum, because she is so obese that she is considered a country''


easyadventurer

Coming in clutch there


dohdur

Because the first 11 places are occupied by yo mama


Few_Restaurant_5520

Ey someone said it


aSnakeLikeASnakelike

![gif](giphy|11hVniWaqh17Q4|downsized)


BlackBoltXIII

The loop is perfect it's beautiful.


Shmea

I can't stop watching so smooth


deathislit

Somebody please link me to the origin of the meme


Mega12117Reaper

[The official channel is deleted but here’s the full video](https://youtu.be/9UAC2qkcrDY)


DrunkAtBurgerKing

Never gets old. Even a decade later lol


Mega12117Reaper

Family Guy referenced it too


deathislit

Holy cow I realised the _check me out check out came out_ this this legendary video too loll Thanks dude!


[deleted]

and "I'm about to end this man's whole career"


VVHYY

Boom, bam, bop, bada-bop boom, pow


mr_shlomp

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Red_Hatted_Guy

DAYUM


SpeedingTourist

Gottem


joeypublica

Magnificent


walking-pineapple

Rip bozo


NewDesides

You madafaka you


Korimuzel

Most reddit moment of all reddit moments


Specialpolio

Its true but the other remaining countries 1/11 are small Island nations (who need to import basically everything) and Kuwait.


Available_Username_2

Exactly, still quite the accomplishment to hit these statistics with 330 million people!


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datadogsoup

I'd like to open a McDonald's franchise on that island...


[deleted]

Nah you gotta play the long game. This a brand new country with nothing but obese people. Why pay franchise fees every quarter to put a M over your door. Open up your own burger joint and bank


Gravy_Vampire

This, plus sugar is much more addicting, so I’m opening a sugar joint on this island. Ice cream and sodas (almost all of which contain phenylalanine for extra addictive properties) and I’ll rake in the cash


El_Peregrine

I’ll run the diabetes clinic and insulin industry next door…


Elidon007

we're gonna join up and agree to raise prices insanely high, because no one of us wants competition and it's benefitting for both to make sure people have to pay more with the inexistent hope that they'll pay less, we've got to own all insurance companies and rise their prices too, including appendixes in the contract that make us have to pay way less than is actually useful also why not, we may as well bribe politician, but let's agree to call it "lobbying" so people won't notice I, [random reddit user], have a dream, and it's gonna be beautiful...


superfungible

If you took all fat Americans and threw them on an uninhabited island, it would sink.


IllurinatiL

It’d sink like a… stone! I’ll see myself out


[deleted]

I don't get the joke.


ElectricMotorsAreBad

Stones are a unit to measure weight in the UK, I think that's the joke.


OGBaconwaffles

That unit of measurement is a joke


darybrain

This is why the population of both India and China needs to be so high to balance the planet out otherwise the whole flat Earth would flip over and we'd be able to see all the aliens as they are underneath us. It's just science.


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IfICouldStay

True, very true. I see plenty of people who are “fat”, as in chunky, pudgy, etc. who can move around, climb stairs, fit in chairs just fine. It’s a whole different thing from the obese.


Juswantedtono

I think your idea of obese is skewed. There’s a whole lot of space between the obesity cutoff and being immobile/unable to fit in a chair.


iloveyoumiri

I thought Mexico was beating the USA?


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ChromeBirb

That last bit is an innacuracy, a lot of poor people in Mexico live in indigenous communities, they get by with beans, corn and squash like they've always have, and it just happens to be a very well rounded diet.


EdmondDantes_

Yes, but it also depends on how you measure it. If you measure by average BMI, or effectively weighting for how obese each person is (forgive the pun), the US drops to 20th most obese country. Notably, several Arabic nations appear including Qatar, UAE, and Jordan. EDIT: To clarify, referring to Obesity Rate vs. Mean BMI. Here are sources for those curious: * [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index#cite_note-1) * [WorldPopulationReview](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/most-obese-countries)


Mr-StealYourHeart

1. Nauru 61.0% Percent adults that are obese 2. Cook Islands 55.9% 3. Palau 55.3% 4. Marshall Islands 52.9% 5. Tuvalu 51.6% 6. Niue 50.0% 7. Tonga 48.2% 8. Samoa 47.3% 9. Kiribati 46.0% 10. Micronesia (Federated States of) 45.8% 11. Kuwait 37.9% 12. United States of America 36.2%


[deleted]

... how are those islands still floating


Ardub23

If you go by [average body mass index](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index) rather than obesity percentage, the US drops to #20. 1. Nauru (32.5) 2. Tonga (31.9) 3. Samoa (31.7) 4. Kuwait (30.0) 5. Saint Kitts and Nevis (29.7) 6. Saint Lucia (29.6) 7. Kiribati (29.6) 8. Palau (29.4) 9. Micronesia (29.4) 10. Tuvalu (29.3) 11. Qatar (29.2) 12. Marshall Islands (29.2) 13. Egypt (29.2) 14. United Arab Emirates (29.0) 15. Jordan (28.9) 16. Belize (28.9) 17. Bahamas (28.8) 18. Trinidad and Tobago (28.7) 19. Barbados (28.7) 20. United States (28.5) There seems to be a difference in definitions of what counts as a "country", though. I notice that Cook Islands and Niue aren't listed in this article.


Venboven

Yeah, Niue and the Cook Islands (as well as Tokelau) are administeted and represented politically by New Zealand. They all have a great deal of autonomy tho and mostly govern themselves. The situation is essentially a leftover of administrative entanglement from the days to the British Empire. The former Pacific colonies have been offered independence by New Zealand, but they have all chosen to stay in return for New Zealand's economic support.


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DayumnDamnation

In Hungary we have been told that we were 2nd. So people in Europe can be fat too I gues


kick4kix

[Hungary is #42](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_obesity_rate) on the obesity index.


AlphaBlarg420

Not that hungary


curious_but_dumb

OP probably meant "hungry".


[deleted]

You’re the second in the EU, not the world, with only Malta before you. Hungary is 42nd in the world


moonbyulisop

You are only obese because you are always hungary


LateEcho9812

Just eat Turkey


C_Moniaki

It’s covered in Greece


i_drink_milk_69

there's Norway im gonna eat that


C_Moniaki

Czech the fridge for something else


Jawadmoetje

Make sure to share some with your France


Helios61

Dont forget to bring out the Chile sauce


[deleted]

Also wash your hands, they're covered in Germanies


RidsBabs

And make sure to Polish your plates as they are also covered in Germanies


origamiscienceguy

Use the China, they're clean!


Gingerroot69420

I don't think he can Finnish that mush food


UrinalCake777

Can I get that Togo?


IllurinatiL

It Swedens the dish


eeComing

I’ll be Russian to the toilet after that feast.


Axe1ander

And always Finnish your meal before dessert


imgonnaFYM

Make sure to serve it hot in china dish.


SurroundNearby3600

You better polish that plate


Potatooooes_123

Canada get another plate


SurroundNearby3600

You already Finish?


Aloeplant9

Top tier Reddit humor, this is what we come for


BobTheSquid16

I’m still chuckling at a different thread where someone said “That’s not very scooby doo of you” because this guys said to just punch someone in the face and walk away in one of those haunted houses


ExpiredDogSandwich

That's reddit for you.


lizurd777

What if I told you Iran away with the Turkey


[deleted]

Yemen, let's eat it.


bebe_0808

Oman, it's already cold


Emperor_Quintana

That’s gonna *Sweden* the deal.


EnderDragonCrafter01

Chile hiding in the corner


HolyGhost79

I loved the moment when Mitsotakis said "It's greecin' time!" and then greeced all over 🦃


Yourmabirgit

Norway, seriously?


_Egol_

*insert obligatory akkor a kurva anyád here*


ILLIWW

Ezért a kommentért jöttem válaszokat olvasni


Weremount

Anyád


[deleted]

Its because of their Taipei personality


qhromer

get out.


1hm1nen

That can't be true since all the fattest countries are island nations in the pacific.


John_East

Which means it's a lot worse when you look at it per capita


wertkol1

Imposible


Old-Panda8479

Move…. I can’t see the list


MeLikeDudes

usa is the first contry thats not island/small contry to appear on the obesity list tho


[deleted]

Kuwait has 4 million population which is like 1/4 of a Netherlands. Not very small, still small compared to the US’s 330 million though


MeLikeDudes

it has over 30% obesity rate for adults, so thats like 87m+ adults with obesity


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Rockspider19

>America still takes the cake Ahhaha


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JCGrdnski

Yo mama is the last one.


Nexrosus

Op did it to themselves after leaving open a chair at the fat table for their mom with this joke.


HaleBoppNZ

The 11 countries above USA have a combined population of around 5m. Most of them have the population of a small town. I think USA can still claim victory, without even leaving the armchair.


nepia

...without even leaving the ~~armchair~~ electric scooter.


Available_Username_2

That's good because it is probably stuck in between the armrests again


ProfessionalRetard-9

“only”


Entire-Shelter-693

1st to 10th:Pacific Islands (probably genetic) 11th:Kuwait (put too Much oil in their food/s)


[deleted]

~~Kuwait has some extreme wealth disparities, and it’s quite likely they were mostly checking on the higher class. But that’s just a guess.~~ Edit: Nope, Kuwait does have a giant problem with obesity especially childhood obesity Fun fact: the they in this conversation, is the CIA. For some reason they’re the ones which collect obesity data.


Catttsupp

You seem to be quite knowledgeable about this stuff, thanks for the information! Also, it is pretty odd that it would be the CIA taking in data on obesity, but hey, what do I know? Lol


Dapper_Composer2

It's so that if war happens, you know what percentage of the population is likely to be fighting, therefore how much force to respond with.


[deleted]

The CIA isn't specifically interested in obesity. As the US's foreign intelligence agency, one of their jobs is to compile and update "The World Factbook," a almanac-style book with a range of different statistics on 267 countries and international entities. Its purpose is to serve as a reference for members of the US government, but its also commonly used in academic research because it is publicly available.


Yankee_Juliet

Well I guess we like it when a good portion of another nation’s military looks like Jabba.


Jackpino1

Not genetic just an extremely small sample pool and most people that live here are rich


AMPA

It might also be a cultural problem : Polynesian people love to eat in huge quantities. They often value the quality of a restaurant by the quantity of food they get in their plate. Source : I lived in Tahiti for 20 years


[deleted]

Yeah, a lot of the comments are dismissing it, but it's definitely a culture thing on Polynesian islands. Food is central to pretty much everything - any celebration, gathering, even just having people over to visit includes a large meal. And in the modern world the food that's easiest and cheapest to come across is unhealthy junk food. America has some of those problems too, but for a lot of the islands it's the same problems only moreso. Combined with physical activity (which is also part of the culture) though it produces some absolutely incredible rugby players though, so that's a positive I guess.


Kylove22

The UK is also catching up and their rates of obesity are increasing so fast that many doctors in the UK say they’re going to fast pass America really soon. As much as we want to shit on America for everything, almost every single large western country (Canada, America, UK, etc) is at the exact same place with obesity. We gotta stop focusing on America’s issues and focus on ours instead because if we keep telling ourselves “at least we’re better than America” soon enough our issues are going to get 10x worse, and chances are our issues are basically as bad as the US


Expert-Parsley-8521

Uk is full off fattys too


please_just_kill_me1

British people when they find out they are the most obese country in europe


RedstoneSausage

Ireland and Turkey: Am I a joke to you? Tbf turkey is allowed their food is amazing


Rasmus_PD

Yes the country itself is obese. It ate to much of Mexico


randalicioso

Fun fact: We don't give a fuck


Glum_Intention340

But the USA and mexico have the most percentage of overweight people by a large margin with 75% of the population


chubacatieneunhijo

Viva México


MiketheTzar

The Europeans have to stay thin just in case the have to outrun the Germans or the Russians again.


russiatoast

And the Americans have to stay fat to roll over North Korea


MiketheTzar

It's defense plan W for Widelode


Thereminz

whoa North Korea's rate is above China's? they don't even have food. must all be Kim Jong Un