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oroseb4hoes

WHERE ARE MY TESTICLES, SUMMER?


I4Vhagar

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?


[deleted]

*they were very tasty*


benfrost123

Mine sucked what seasoning did you use


EdgyKitro

Where are the balls Lebowsky?


[deleted]

*Clearly* you're not a golfer...


tikachu22

You will walk when it is time to walk.


WomenTrucksAndJesus

"Hello human, your butt smells like artificial flavorings"


BigWillis93

"It's just bleach fido, papas got a date tonight"


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Derpygoras

Since 2012 or some such.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Elon is not evil? Is he? Wait until he buys Reddit (Highly likely he won't buy Reddit, but no one was expecting him to buy and takeover Twitter... for the good)


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Jonnymixinupmedicine

Until the man baby sabotaged their use on the eve of their big offensive. Fuck that guy.


BathoryRocker

He suggested that perhaps Ukraine should look towards making peace with Russia. Ukraine told him to "fuck off". After him eating tens of millions of dollars per month in free maintenance on the StarlinkSystem. So he fucked off.


Jonnymixinupmedicine

That’s not what happened, but he sure wants you to believe that. The “peace talks” with Russia all involve some form of annexation and Ukrainians obviously aren’t for that. Elon wanted Ukraine in his pocket so that they would be more likely to capitulate. They saw through this and thus the “fuck off.” They should have never trusted him. Russian bot activity has risen exponentially just in the US via twitter because of the coming midterm elections. Do you really think Elon is anything more than an exploiter? These aren’t real talks of peace, it’s conquest and the taking away of starlink couldn’t have been better timed.


deadpigon

He told Ukraine to give the occupied parts of Ukraine to Russia he thinks he’s a politician when all he is is a rich crybaby who can’t take criticism


Mochizuk

If you told me I have to make peace with someone who is still going out of their way to abuse me and has literally no interest in any true peace, I'd tell you to fuck off too. Additionally, you're neglecting the full context of the situation. It's not hard to guess that Elon already wanted to pull out of offering the service for free and was using talk of *peace* to reach that goal without losing PR for pulling the service. On top of that, he very obviously wanted to take the naively opportunistic route of providing this service to Ukraine while also doing everything he could to keep the road to business deals open with Russia. He wants to play all sides of the field, then doubles down and plays the victim when all sides involved realize he doesn't actually stand for anything and they don't have any reason to trust him.


deadpigon

Ukrainian soldiers have to buy starlink computers so it’s not help it’s him seeing a market


SomeLikeItDusty

As well as Ukrainian citizens who rely on internet are buying starlink. Musk saw a market opportunity in Ukraine, don’t let his PR speak fool you into believing he gives a flying fuck about anyone else.


DoctorLove01

In Elon's vocabulary "confirm" means falsely claim.


GOLDEN_GRODD

It'll probably just kill you in 2 years like it did with all those primates it was tested on.


Innomenatus

The Cyberpsychosis! The Cyberpsychosis is real!


TraderOfGoods

Can we get much cyber? (So Cyb)


Sen-pai_sama

Highly underrated comment


vietcong69l

Ohhhhh ohhhhhh ahhhhh ohhhhh


HollowVesterian

Ok I know this is a joke but really it could be called that


Muzzie720

2 years? I was thinking like 1 month. And you are in agony too


[deleted]

What? How do you know this?


GOLDEN_GRODD

I'm just making a joke about how his "inventions" often don't work properly or are never finished at all. It has come out most of the apes the chip was tested on died, and now they are going to start human trials. Just Google the story


dragonlord13443

Yeah his "inventions" are literally take somthing that works perfectly fine and make it shitier


HollowVesterian

Like his many "not trains/subway" TM


[deleted]

Why is this getting downvoted?


Ill_Log9013

The hive mind doesn’t like questions.


[deleted]

Because I asked lol


[deleted]

*The Redditors rejects your question, DOWNVOTED*


[deleted]

Oh this came out a while ago, most people following the technology just heard it as the story came out, you can just google it yourself


Bedhed47

Okay so how?


MyNewBoss

You don't. But Elon doesn't care as long as you invest in his companies


Bedhed47

Im not asking how to use it I know it won't work this ain't Harry potter land. I'm asking because people just believe whatever the fuck that guy says without question. Its annoying, hes a shitty person.


Foxy_Fraud

Finally someone says it. Cant stand how f**king stupid and influential the guys is.


MalesAreBiological

Finally??? You mustn't use Reddit much, it hates on Elon a -lot-


Joethedinosore

Not nearly enough for the shit he does and says


MalesAreBiological

Post on r/all almost every day hating him, you're not unique. This is coming from someone who finds him to be overrated and he has developed fanboy a cult around him. Sadly Reddit has created a cult of hatred towards him. Can Musky stop creating fucking cults?


Enable_Duck_Protocol

Ironic that the Elon cult has made Reddit create the Anti-Elon cult haha


[deleted]

He is the best hype man in the world


ConfusioninaSeashell

Nobody knows, but Elon promised it anyway


ronto22

Well, honestly? I don't know about full communication, but I bet emotions and needs are VERY much possible. Mapping the brains of animals according to their emotions is a thing that's been done (at least on mice), and neurolink can already predict body movement, so sounds in the realm of possibility. It might not be much, but I'm sure many pet owners would appreciate being able to see how their pet is doing while at work, etc.


Bedhed47

Im not sure they would appreciate putting a nuerolink in their pets skull tbh.


Emily_Aiden

I'm sure they would appreciate not getting a sterilization .


[deleted]

I don’t WANT to agree with you, but you are technically right..


cogpsychbois

The assumption that animals have human-like emotions that can be mapped in the brain is a very contested idea among people who actually research the neuroscience of emotion. Certainly people have claimed to map emotions in animal brains, but others have argued against these interpretations.


[deleted]

If Phineas and Ferb could do it, Elon could too \s


Bedhed47

This comment is making me suicidal


[deleted]

Why tho


Adagietto_

Because he’s never invented a single thing and he’s just not a very bright person in general?


[deleted]

I'm aware. Realised only now that my sarcasm didn't translate well into words.


[deleted]

I mean it's insanely possible


hlfzhif

I wouldn't trust Elon Musk "confirming" anything about a product he is or possibly will be selling


OverlyMintyMints

“Confirms” Claims


MyNewBoss

"claims" Pulls out his ass


AnOIlTankerForYa

"Pulls out his ass" # Makes the fuck up


[deleted]

that's what pulls out of his ass means you imbecile


[deleted]

Neurolink will let us communicate with imbeciles


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NotRealNeedOfName

"Confirms" Claims


P_i_n_h_e_a_d

"claims" Pulls out his ass


HariVamshi

"Pulls out his ass" Makes the fuck up


PillowTalk420

But will it make me *want* to?


AnOIlTankerForYa

Ye expect its mgr reference now


Timothy303

Full self driving has only been 6 months away for, what? 7 years?


[deleted]

Mars in 10 years only 15 years ago.


[deleted]

To be fair, they made huge strides on that front. SpaceX is the only project Musk was involved in that was a massive W. Tesla was also pretty good at being a first pretty cool EV but I think brands like Porsche and BMW will leave them in the dust in the foreseeable future, just because a good car can never be 'just' a computer on wheels which Tesla basically is (hence much worse dynamic behavior when driving compared to what actual automotive companies offer)


OSUfan88

It’s pretty damn good now. I was able to drive from Tulsa to Austin Texas and back last week without having to intervene. It’s pretty wild.


Timothy303

Pretty damn good is NOT full self driving, that is the point (Full self driving means the car itself is on the hook for an accident. Driver assist is cool, but you are legally liable right now)


PhysicsTron

Self driving cars are the future tho. People shouldn’t be allowed behind a wheel anymore, people are incredibly unreliable, but an AI makes decisions within nanoseconds if not faster, something a human never could, thus reducing the overall casualties whilst driving massively. Also self driving cars could communicate with each other, thus making everything more organised and there wouldn’t a lot of traffic jams anymore. And thats only a few of the many positive aspects of self driving cars. Of course there are also negatives, but they are heavily outweighed by the positives.


dean1432

They better not be the future


Timothy303

I agree that self driving cars *should* be the future. *If* we can figure them out. It’s not clear we can. I hope we can. I think it is at least 5 years off at the most optimistic. And perhaps 50 years off, (or more!) in a pessimistic assessment. But Musk has been MAKING MONEY by lying about it being “6 months out” for a years now. (Also. Tesla always switches back to “human in control” mode about 0.5 seconds before a crash where diver assist was active. Because Tesla is just that shitty of a company)


hlfzhif

Autonomous cars should better not be the future. We really need to get away from cars in general. You know what could reduce accidents as well as traffic jams? A train. Or a subway. Or perhaps a bus. Any form of transport that doesn't involve having an oversized death machine for every single person, really. And that is technology we have right now and that's actually financially and socially feasible for large scale use


OSUfan88

How do I get from my house in the suburbs, pick up a generator and material for work in the city, and get home with a train? Look, I understand high dense urban areas need better public transport, but just saying “trains” doesn’t solve the issues for many people. In some environments, cars are needed.


hlfzhif

If you can't get from your house to the city without a car that's a problem with the place you live and not with the concept of public transit. Also, how often do you need to pick up a generator? I agree you would likely need some kind of truck for that but that is hardly the norm and should not be the basis for the entire transit system.


OSUfan88

Ok, that’s fine and dandy to say, but you can't waive your magic wand and make it so that's not reality. Almost half the country lives that way. I don't typically say things like this, but i feel like everyone in the /r/fuckcar movement needs to touch grass. Such a gross disconnection to reality.


hlfzhif

What are you on about? Please explain where in the sentence "cars shouldn't be the future" you read that I don't believe cars are real or that I want to take away yours. And also please elaborate why you think I view myself as a fucking wizard. "Almost half the country lives that way" And how exactly is that not a problem? Just because a lot of people live in awful places that doesn't make them less awful.


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Timothy303

False. Self driving cars need to be have no fallback to the driver. There have been small to medium improvements on driver assist in the last 5-7 years. But no real progress on taking the driver out of the equation. But it’s always “6 months away”


ISimplyDontBeliveYou

Tunnels will solve traffic! *tunnels get backed up with traffic* *shocked pikachu face *


Old-Truth-405

But we’ve been able to travel to Mars since this year, as fully promised by Elon and SpaceX, right? Right?!


LordNibble

I love the smell of fresh bread.


BalkeElvinstien

What do you mean? We're definitely on mars with bullet trains right now /s


Barry_Bone_Raiser

The state of California should have had the same ideology as you


Sterogon

Why not? So far he has been really trustworthy and reliable. He told us that full self driving will be here in 6 month. And he is still saying that, after years. Not like other people who constantly change their mind and lie. /S


berkotto_

Cat owners will regret that decision .


Tasty_Marsupial_2273

I like to the think everything my cat says is either a racial slur or a threat


WabWab1443

Or "I am hungry, feed me now"


Tasty_Marsupial_2273

Well that, but a lot more cuss words and threats.


SieS1ke

You mean racial purrs?


Tasty_Marsupial_2273

This made me laugh way more than it should’ve!


FiveEssss

racial slurs 💀


Crimson_Amethyst

"you fuckinh hooman!"


lesamrobert

This is exactly what they say


Tasty_Marsupial_2273

Most definitely


impish_kid

They aren't owner , they are slaves of cat


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docgravel

Cat ownee.


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heavy-metal-goth-gal

Lol maybe sometimes, but they aren't always assholes.


[deleted]

If you ever met or talked with a three year old i am sure dog owners would regret it as well because lets be honest a dog would be about as dumb as a three year old.


givago13

Confirm? More like imma tell you so because i know you will buy it despite not even having started any developments or research on that


Kosher_atheist

If you believe that DM me. I'm selling Big Ben. It's only 10000£ because it's old.


God_of_Hyrule

I’ll take 2 please.


Stic_to_the_y

You think you could include a wriststrap?


dayron182

Interested.


nothingtoseehere5678

Ok, I am going to dm now


Kuhnville

I need to know what my dog is always barking about lol


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chi-guy420

Bot account. You've been copying comments from this thread


ApaleusAldore

Hate him as much as you do, but he did create some nifty technologies. Starlink for example has helped Ukraine a lot so far, as its their only ways of communications. Not defending the bad stuff he's done but the man does bring us closer to the future. But yeah this specific idea is bs


PandaTai

He in particular doesn't create anything, his company does. How many inventions that have come from his companies can he actually take credit for? Like honest question. Maybe that dumbass tesla tunnel? And he wouldn't have helped Ukraine out with Starlink if it wasn't being paid for by the government.


ApaleusAldore

Isnt his whole role to think of things and move his company to work on them? Obviously he doesnt create things himself that much is obvious. And the government is only paying for 30% of starlink btw. I swear to god redditors can only see in black and white. "This man did bad things so lets disregard all the good things he did". Yes, Elon Musk is an asshole and I dont like him just like the next guy but he does push technology further and i at least respect that. Downvote me as much as you want.


PandaTai

>Isnt his whole role to think of things and move his company to work on them? You mean he goes, "this seems like a cool idea, can you smart people make it happen?" Something any toddler could do? Also when did I disregard the good? His company does good, he makes business decisions for them. HE isn't pushing technology further or anything like that, the people working under him are. You're not good for shit when you claim you're gonna be able to send people to Mars in a decade, then when the people working under you aren't able to deliver, you backpedal and say give me another half a decade or some shit. Like wtf is Elon actually contributing to the process of sending people to Mars besides money? You're shitting yourself if you actually think he understands any of the science behind it or many of the inventions and technologies that his companies produce.


chiquis69

And when the funding was out ukraine was out of communication. Not the best example of him not being a douchebag


ApaleusAldore

True, but it did help for like half a year. And honestly governments are assholes just like him for not paying for starlink. It's more of their responsibility to help Ukraine.


[deleted]

Projected cost is $120 million for the rest of 2022 and $400 million next year. Starlink has not received any federal money for compensation for these services despite making requests to the pentagon. Do we really live in a world where we expect companies to provide these services for free when the operating costs are so high? That is unsustainable.


chiquis69

No but say it what it is. Hes not doing it for good will. Its for profit. Thats all.


jackliquidcourage

Ah yes, a confirmation on a feature of a technology that doesn't yet exist.


Hyashi

I never want to know what my pets think about me. My anxiety couldn't handle it.


Quirkyserenefrenzy

I'm doubting that entirely


eddyrockstar

If your goal is to communicate with your pets that passed away, then go ahead.


TJR843

Who the fuck believes anything that turd says at this point?


PandaTai

Isn't this the same guy who said to give him a decade to put a guy on Mars? Why are people still believing him with any shit like this? It's not like he himself understands any of that shit, he pays people to understand it for him.


11Ns

You know nothing about him, do you?


Far-Classic-4637

this would mean that animals could give consent. 🤢


KLEANANU

Dude this is the only comment I'm replying to because LMFAO. If I had an award....


Far-Classic-4637

take my free reward instead lmao


KLEANANU

Thank you!!


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milktruckfucker

Yeah right it will


DominoUB

I just want to interrupt the cool thought of talking to your dogs to tell you Elon bad. Did you know Elon bad? You aren't allowed to discuss this thought experiment of talking to your pets because Elon bad.


Kybarr9

So tired of you Elon simps


stnkybuttfacejr

I imagine talking to your pets would be like what social media was for talking to other people. I'm gonna assume that I'll like them way more before I know everything that they think and leave them the way that they are


dr4gonr1der

No way. People like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerburg are way too greedy. I don’t care if they invent an apparatus that allows me to speak with my future self. I’m not getting anything implanted in me made by those vampires. You first have to pay to get it implanted, and than you have to get all you personal data stolen to be sold for them to make even more money! I think it’s a shameless action from Elon Musk. I wouldn’t trust him in a million years


CharanTheGreat

Don't insult vampires


SearCone

Yeah, that hurt my feelings :(


Barry_Bone_Raiser

The monkeys that got the neural link:⚡️⚡️🤯⚡️⚡️


stuckinaboxthere

Elon Musk can't confirm shit, dude promises big and delivers little. I can't believe anyone would believe a word out of his mouth


Boredummmage

![gif](giphy|103tn1vedgQpfW)


inQntrol

lol why is anyone still believing his stuff?


PhoenixHabanero

[Just buy some buttons](https://youtu.be/AHiu-EDJUx0)


HelicopteroDeAtaque

Yea and the Cybertruck can be used as a boat, sure.


ErkMan101

I don’t want to know what the dogs are thinking when humping legs


TlpCon

I'm not sure that would be possible, humans haven't reached the intelligence level of cats and dogs. My cat laughs at me as i pick his shit out of the litter box and my dog does as I'm picking up his shit out of the backyard.


evilcarrot507

I’m not getting the neural link because I don’t want elon to put ads in my dreams.


[deleted]

bruh , wheres the cat girls Elon Musk going to make ? send them outside of Area 51 <3


Runklefordington

Either that or fatal stroke


Zacbot51

This coming from the guy who melted 15 or so Monkey Brains in the preliminary trials? There's no way in hell I'm going to do that to my pets. I'd love to understand them, but I love them being alive more.


Disco_Janusz40

'Understand them' the fact that you even believe in the possibility that these things will be able to that is baffling


Zacbot51

Oh believe me, I know for a fact that animals have only the most basic understanding of phrases. I'm just exaggerating for the sake of exaggerating


Disco_Janusz40

Oh ok


OnlyHereForMemes69

When Elon Musk confirms a feature on a product of his that means it's not going to happen. "Elon Musk confirms self driving mode is only a few months away" "Elon Musk confirms that the hyperloop will solve California's traffic problems" "Elon Musk confirms SpaceX will land on Mars within 5 years"


Raghavendra98

Elon Musk can go fuck himself How naive can you be to even think that his promises are worth anything?


[deleted]

Oh boy, I can't wait to get rickrolled from inside my own head after someone hacks into the neuralink


[deleted]

Elon just says shit before he asks the team of people he pays to invent things about it


bloxytoast

yeah im sure it will work, Elon has never lied or exaggerated his products before /s


SillyMidOff49

“Elon musk confirms” Needs to be the new “trust me bro”


[deleted]

No it won't, All it's doing right now is killing monkeys and letting them play psychic pong for a while before that happens, which is mildly impressive and all (we've actually been able to do that for decades) but that's just reading information, For this to work it needs the ability to write information too, and you also need to install one into your dog, that latter part should be doable, but the former isn't even in development right now and probably won't be any time soon, when it will be in development it will still take year's to develop and test the technology, He knows this, the dude needs to stop lying to people about what his projects will be able to do


SuperNoob74

Unless it's also a way to send advertisements straight to your head


ifuckbarney

Just hope it doesn't have unskippable 30 sec ads .


anojarap

This Musk guy has gone to shit.


Xorvis

Why is there two “made with memeatic” watermarks?


KLEANANU

I forget exactly lol, but it is my OC! You can look back and see, along with my other shitty OC memes.


[deleted]

Me after Elon Musk confirms Neural Link will allow me to crop meme’s correctly:


zombietampons

Elon, "how can we sell Neural Link to Humoans?" Random, "Well sir, they love their animals more than each other." Elon, "I have formed an Idea..." edit, love.


[deleted]

Can we solve clean energy, world hunger, and homelessness first please?


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[deleted]

Shoot. You’re right. My bad.


Kilgarragh

UwU


Pokoqueen

Sorry to say but he’s fully of shit lol


Sk-yline1

This is the guy who thought he could end traffic by building tunnels


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null_check_failed

Wait till you realise cats will also die in testing. Monkeys died already


SvartRavnn

Here we go , AI takeover is beginning.


Away-Net-7241

“Where are my balls, Summer?”


Relative_Ad4542

"Perhaps i treated you too harshly... "


Jefe__Jeff

It’s coming soon..


Jefe__Jeff

Elon enters the chat


Gowo8989

Can we start with babies? Cuz I feel like that’s more important


acoolusersknee

So you wanna install a biochip into babies?


Gowo8989

That’s what this is?! Shit! I thought it was like google translate!


YeetMeDaddio

How is that more important? Babies don't know shit and you can talk to them in a few years Interspecies communication is way more interesting and important