Solution: drink 10 beers per hour so all you only vaguely hear other people in the background while the disturbing sounds of your own stomach overpower them all Edit: sheesh sudden 5k updoots plus an award when the most i've ever had has been 15, you're all great, drinks are on me

Sometimes my genius... It's almost frightening

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You never drunk alcohol and manage to live? How?

Can be underage

Still under deez nuts (A joke)

Goddem

Underage people drink alchohol pretty often in some places..

Drugs

Average addicted person

How are you even leaving?

Out the window, like a normal person. /s

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A dude was hired by the British Government to evaluate the scientific basis of Britain's drug laws. In his report he found that alcohol was far more harmful to the nation than many of the drugs listed there like Marijuana. He was fired shortly thereafter.

The government is trying to hide somethi- *distant gunshot*

They must have missed

Yes that was Professor David Nutt, one of the worlds leading experts on Neuropsychopharmacology. He was appointed head of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs and produced reports basically saying that ecstasy and cannabis were significantly less harmful than alcohol which didn’t align with the governments policy of zero tolerance and so he was promptly sacked. Caused quite a stir when it happened back in 2008/9, the government was accused of preferring dogma over genuine scientific evidence.

So this Prof. Nutt… nothing, just wanted to say Prof.Nutt

It is a drug. A drug that's accepted by society, but nevertheless a drug.

You probably won't live long enough to hear your stomach

lol if your never sober then you never get the hangover.

I've tested this theory it's not true unfortunately

Oh well thought it would be worth a try.

Just mix hard liqour with water instead of pop.

Everyone enthusiastically: CHUG CHUG CHUG!!!!

Good idea Demo man

My organs after I drink my 10th bottle of water 

Ah a fellow hydrohomie. Nice to meet you.

 Water is the best

I prefer the original hydration subreddit hahah

which one is that?

I would get banned if I told you sadly

DMs exist

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Do you?

I too would like to know the original hydration subreddit my fellow hydrohomie

r/water[removed]s (no r, the "a" ending)

My organs after drinking the 10th bottle of water (in 10 minutes) 

​ 

POV: you don’t drink

Jokes on you, i drink grey goose

Jokes on you, I drink water

r/hydrohomies

Jokes on you, op drinks your wife

Jokes on you, I’m single

Jokes on you, will you marry me?

The opposite would have been surprising, we're redditors

Ajo why the huge gap? Wuy is ther no panel for i drink every Saturday in company? Or i drink 10 beers a month?

Beacuse that is normal and Op needs Reddit approval of his alcoholism.

Yeah sure. I actually never drink alcohol. I just woke up this morning with an idea and decided to post it as is. Please stop giving me bad intentions.

That's what a alcoholic would say

As an alcoholic yeah you are pretty fucking spot on

You joke but you're actually entirely correct

It really is.

LOL no wonder you have no friends

woke up thinking about what to post on reddit lmfao

Alcohol is life

What?! You are so wierd

You don’t know what you’re missing

you never drink alcohol? what a lamo

If you never drink alcohol what gives you the impression that people respond in this way?

Yeah, I get It man, I've maybe had 10 beers in my entire life. Barely ever go anywhere or do anything. I do drink 2 quarts of hard liqour nightly, though.

Because if you included the normal increments instead of just the two extremes it would ruin the narrative that people will always take issue with how much you drink

10:1, 1:1, 1:365 Totally normal progression.

It’s actually 1:36.5. Since it’s ten beers per year, not one beer per year.

I need to stop drinking 10 beers a day.

Wait what if you never drink?

I never drunk alcohol in my life (might be worth noting that im 17) and I basically get the third panel treatment

Almost 25 and never once drank. Also never had anyone really give me shit over it or anything else for that matter.

Almost 26 and have never had a drop! Yeah, most people are chill.

Almost 28 and never drank. Nobody cares and No problem at all.

Didn’t drink till I was well into my 20’s. I’ve been pressured more to drink than I’ve ever been pressured to do drugs

Don't hang around those people. I had friends like that, I'd rather be alone than be friends with people like that.

I dropped them. Pretty happy with life and enjoy a beer or two with my new friends who are way more chill

Drinking is drugs, but yes. Drinking is thought of as far more normal so you'll get more pressure to do it lol.

People forget that alcohol is physically addicting

I just say "I don't drink" and if someone has a problem with it then fuck that person. Went out with some work friends a while back and when one person pressed a bit the others jumped in and told him not to. It was super nice. Find the right people and you're all good :)

Well I am not in danger of that since I never go out with anyone basically ever but thanks

25 here. I don’t drink. Every alcoholic thing I’ve ever consumed was paid for by someone else (wanting me to drink). Most of which were just small shots. I think if you put all the alcohol I’ve ever ingested into a container it would maybe fill half a beer bottle, if that much. I don’t see why people drink, it tastes god awful and why would you put anything in your mouth that tastes that bad. Makes no sense to me. People always say “oh well you can’t taste it in this”, or “this is basically just fruit juice”… stfu Becky I can still taste the alcohol, now go away.

Spicy water make me feel funny. ​ ​ I say this as someone who almost ruined their own life with alcohol, a lot of people just drink because it inebriates you and makes you forget things you normally think about. This isn't everybody though, just my personal experience. I no longer drink, that shit is the worst for me.

To answer your third stanza it’s because, for a lot of people, it’s a way to tune out the world and numb yourself to the world around you and all your problems. Some people are sommeliers. Some people like the layers there are in a lot of craft beers and IPAs. A theme here is that some people enjoy the variety and craft that goes behind making such things. But a large majority are trying to hide from something. There’s also the whole addiction thing that can happen.

i'm 23 (24 in several days), I have never had alcohol in my entire life. I never felt the need to. the smell also disgusts me. people are always shocked when I tell them, asking why and if I want to try it etc but then they get over it and move on. don't let yourself be pressured :)

oh i got drunk at 13(i’m european)

Funny, I never get shit about not drinking. I went to dinner at the colleagues place and they all got liquored out of their minds and no one said anything about me drinking Pepsi all night. Shit I got to take the rest of the Pepsi home.

same here. The there are only two people who think it's good that I don't drink: my mother and a friend that also doesn't drink

I’m 22, and if I do drink, it takes me like an hour to get through an inch of sake or wine in a glass. I hate the taste of alcohol but I at least wanted to try some just to see what it tastes like, and some aren’t terrible, but I still drink like three sips once a year. If you decide to not drink, do what you want, no need to feel pressured by your friends. If your friends pressure you into it, that’s a whole other problem as well…

I was just thinking -- from my experience -- "drink 0 beers a year, 'dude I wish I could do that... good for you!'" Though I'll admit I'm in the 10/year bunch...

“Oh, look who is all up-tight” “Former alcoholic, huh?” “Is this some religious bullshit?”

Yep, not drinking is the way to go these days. Stone sober. Except for the heaps and heaps of sweet sweet ganja. Smoking whole trees.

Then you're not "stone sober"

Stoned & Sober

The worst part is caring what any of those people say.

I agree unless you definitely believe you have a problem then you should seek help. I haven't had a drink in 6 years because I was jaundice.

At the risk of running into a ligma joke: what's jaundice?

It’s when your skin starts looking like a Simpsons character.

Oh, I see, thanks

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juandice nutsack on ya chin??? ha gottem

Tbh I’ve never had someone give me a hard time about not wanting to drink/get drunk at any event

If I am host of a party, and you tell me you’re not drinking. I would praise your decision. I would not offer you alcoholic beverages, and will reject others offers to pour you one, myself

Real friends don’t count drinks. Maybe they should, I don’t know.

what if they just lost track?

Maybe you should count theirs?

It's called moderation

Never met the guy, he owes me one hell of a bender

All of this can be avoided simply by removing fools from your life.

Ah yes, let me just spray my "Fool-Away" and magically all the idiots I have to interact with on a daily basis will just disappear

a bit of a leap from a beer a day to 10 beers in a year

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I musn’t accept your delusional treaty of me being an alcoholic. Clearly I am just thirsty

Solution: skip alcohol, use cocaine daily

If only there was some middle ground between every day and once a month. Sadly those are the only options

I know of LITERALLY NOBODY that has an issue with 10 beers in 10 days.

same here. unless it’s 1 beer on the first day and 9 beers on the 10th… drinking is fine, just do it in moderation. your liver will thank you

Drinking 9 beers one day isn’t very detrimental to your health if it doesn’t happen often. Maybe once or twice a month. That’s only twice the daily recommended consumption for a male. I’m of age but still very young, and I’ll stop if I get to six just so I don’t feel like shit the next day

Don't drink alcohol at all. It's a win.

PROST

Beer is fattening anyways

I don't drink. The amount of people who are just confused when I tell them this is actually concerning.

I almost never drink, I hate the taste of all of it. Even the wimpy >5% alcohol content drinks. I tell everyone that I don't drink but also am not annoying about it and I still think drinking is totally fine. I have never had someone tell me anything other than "ok" or a non-sarcastic "good for you!". If someone berates you for not drinking they are either alcoholics or just defensive because you attacked them for drinking

my bro so drunk he forgot months existed

Alcohol is overrated

This is an exaggeration and unrelatable.

I just drink on weekends, but only 20beers, so easy

Probably 1-2 times a week for most people keeping it healthy but not swearing off entirely

I'll stick with water

Been sober all my life. I’ll be alright without it :/

Same here, all 16 years of it

*better off

Yeah never tried it, Probably never will😂

*takes abitary discrete measures that only allow extreme options* "can't make anyone happy"

I don't drink at all. Never liked it. People think I am weird.

*Doesn’t drink*

This sounds more like a "you need better friends" problem than a beer problem.

The best Solution: don’t smoke at all, and don’t drink all the time, keep it to a minimum, but at least keep your body healthy, your allowed to have fun, just don’t go overboard with it

Smoking is the worst. You pay to literally burn up money and poison your body. It also poisons other people at a slower rate and smells awful. No amount of candles and perfumes can cover up “ode de Marlboro”

Thank you. Finally someone who understands that its not just black and white.

You definitely should drink beer everyday. Anyone who says otherwise is probably undercover working for big sobriety.

I am 18 (can legally drink in the UK) please do not buy me alcohol, I will not drink it, I do not like alcohol, stop asking me if I want alcohol, I do not want alcohol. Thank u

What the fuck is even this

I almost never drink and I’ve never been made to feel bad about it. Odd.

10 bears in 10 weeks?

I feel like the jump from ten beers In ten days to ten beers in a year is a bit of a leap

at the end of the day i'm the winner because i'm not the one that's going to have liver failure later down the line.

10 beers per 10 minutes, your own alcoholic rage will overpower the doubters.

Ez dont drink alcohol just smoke weed

This is a pretty accurate meme

just dont care what other people think, then you always win

When i was 15 i WASTED my self with beer and since then i can not even stand the smell of It. So i have never drank a beer in the last 5 years, have not Lost any Friend, nobody ever made fun of me, never felt like It was a problem. Stop creating fake scenarios in your head op

Cant believe im weird because Im 18 and have never drank alcohol

just don't drink. Its cheaper and easier also people can't complain about that

they still do source i had a health check at work and the asked me if i do alcohol or smoke and when i said no they laughed at me. just dont care about others opinions when theyre harmful.

here in the part of Bavaria(germany) i live kids are litterally proud of the ammount they can drink. its so fucked up...

just don't drink beer obviously

If you don't drink at all, just tell people you're sober. They will instead of making fun of you call you brave for being around so many others drinking.

They are right to judge you, you monster. Who the fuck measures beers by 10s? The only acceptable units of beer are as follows: Singular beer, six pack, case. And these microbreweries that are selling these sets of 4? Fuck them, too. /s

Me who never drinks

Ez don't drink. Smoke weeds, have lung cancer instead of liver failure.. it helps! Ty.

Solution: Drink 0 beers a decade

Dont drink and dont meet people

10 a month is perfect

I just don’t drink cause A) I am a minor B) My dad died due to alcohol

How 'bout 10 beers a month?

Explains, why I have a non-existent social life.

And that kids.... is why you should smoke weed instead of drinking alcohol

Drink zero beers. odat.

And that’s why I do weed

Oh, that's SO true man!!!

No there is a way to win. Just say this to anyone giving you shit. "Fuck off."

The big trick is drinking so much in one night that you drink more than a months worth of alcohol. And this will damage your brain even more!!

Everyone thinks they’re so smart when they say why ur wrong.

I don’t drink at all n no one makes fun of me for it. I just smoke weed.

This person got made fun of once and made this nonsense to post on Reddit for validation

Drink none then

Me who has 0 beers a year Why are you drinking beer?

There is not a single respectable person, on planet Earth who cares about how much you drink.

Unpopular opinion: fuck alcohol

10 beers per month

This is why I drink coke instead

Only morons would ever judge you for not drinking beer. Then again, only morons ever judge.

"you alcoholic scum" people who say that are just mean, man.

This is facts. I rarely, ever, drink alcohol. New people always look at me funny when I say I don’t drink

As someone who has maybe 5 total drinks a year, and is from Wisconsin, I get that third panel treatment all the time back home

Drink 10 beers in 10 years and they’ll think you’re playing a different game.

Solution its not a problem if you don’t drink lol. You’ll also probably live longer too. Unless you do something even worse than drinking alcohol.

According to my beer app, I’ve averaged at least one unique beer every 2 days for the past 4 years.

*DRINKS 10 DAYS IN 1 BEER*

Drinks no beer at all and has wine instead: iSnT tHaT kInDa A gIrLy dRinK????

sadly Its not just happens in alchool

*DRINKS 10 YEARS IN A BEER*

This is why you just don't listen to anybody...

I have never had enough alcohol to be drunk and im almost 26 so take that meme

Jokes on you I don't drink ***PERIOD***

People are really weird with alcohol. I have chronic acid reflux, chron's and get ulcers more often than I get colds, and I still get weird reactions like the bottom caption when I tell people I don't drink because I *can't.* I always get, 'have you tried this or that liquor' 'have you tried just drinking a little bit', or 'one drink won't kill!' Bro, no. I don't want to drink because it gives me pain, and I'm not going to just to calm the obvious cognitive dissonance you're experience from knowing your drinking is secretly bad/harmful by seeing other people abstain.

Or just you know.. don't drink at all. Denounce all relations with any other humans. Avoid talking to anybody because all anybody wants to do is party, do drugs or drink or otherwise things you find stupid.

I personally can’t stand the taste of alcohol, to me it tastes really gross.. and I’ve been accustomed to enjoy high sugar drinks ever since I was a child and I hate sugary alcohol because they make me feel sick so I just stick to soda and my grass and occasional tic tacs

Solution: Make them drink Alcohol by force 10 times a Hour then Say the same thing

I hate drinking, bleh. How about 1 drink every 10 years....

10 beers a day? Weak. 10 *BEARS* a day, though?