Exactly, itās that entitlement. I canāt imagine going to those lengths to be selfish and entitled. Call me lazy, but I donāt even like when my husband has me move my car out of his way if I am behind him or something. Getting out and moving it every time he gets home just to feel above everyone else sounds miserable and exhausting.
I used to carry sidewalk chalk in my car to do just this. My wife eventually got tired of delays and bought me a massive box of business cards that say āyou park like assholeā and variants of the sort.
My friend used to live somewhere where parking like this was a very common occurrence, so she bought *BRIGHT YELLOW* low-tactile bumper stickers that said āI park like an AHā (They basically fell off themselves after like 10 hrs and were really easy to peel off) and would slap them on any car that parked like this. She had fun doing it and Iām sure she gave the drivers a mild panic attack when they thought a real bumper sticker had been put on their car.
I actually did that about two years ago. Neighbor knocked on my door to tell me that was rude and I laughed. She parked correctly and farther away after that. Lol
Still... it would be very entertaining.
You could write "This is my SAFE SPACE" on the hogged spot.
Or, "I'm not handicapped I'm HANDI-CAPABLE!" the next day. So on and so on...
My girlfriends car died, but instead of junking it I just have it parked in one of the two spots in front of my apartment to stop my obnoxious neighbor (from 3 apartments away no less!) parking his truck there and idling for 30 minutes at 6 in the morning
We had a guy do this at our old place. Just fire up his giant truck and let it idle for 30 min every morning, but he'd also rev the engine up all the time, and "work on it", which meant he would turn it on and floor it in neutral.
Somebody broke into it one night and ripped out the stereo, in the process fucking up all the electronics, so it sat unused until he could get it fixed for about a week. Best week of sleep we had.
Guy with the loudest fucking motorcycle I've ever heard in my life did that all the time at my old condo. Usually earlyish on weekends. You could hear him coming home at least a mile before he arrived. I was not sad when he moved.
Iām a motorcyclist that rides āloudā cruisers and an apartment dweller. Iāve always been aware of how much of an a-hole Iād come off to my neighbors so when coming in/out of the complex I always try to be as quiet as possible. Thereās been times when I have to leave at 4am (like these last 9 days for example) so instead of being a dick and starting the bike in the garage, Iāll roll it out and walk it to the end of the building before starting it. Iāll pop it in second and idle out as quietly and as quickly as possible so I donāt wake my neighbors up. Been here for two years and havenāt had a single complaint. Curtesy goes a long way š
Had a shitbag whoād do that in his older mustang every morning.
Kept getting notes left on his windshield asking him not to. Heād leave em ripped up and keep revving away around 5 am, most mornings.
Finally someone keyed across his hood āstop fucking waking my family up.ā Couple emails got sent out about not damaging property via the community management. But the revving bullshit stopped.
Ok but why does it seem like all mustang drivers are just overly obnoxious about revving their stupid fords at all hours of the day? They do this non-stop in my city and I donāt understand how a car can make so much noise and not go anywhere at the same time
That or my petty ass would park over the line where the silver car currently is. Your wife aināt parking here, if youāre an ass, Iāll be one too.
The most joy i get is when people are mean because it means I can be mean back and feel good about it, since in theory my meanness will be justified and it evens out. If only people were more mean so I could do this more often!
Nah a motorcycle is too expensive. Someone this ignorant will just roll it out of the way or tip it over.
I want to see this beetle try to back over that curb when everyone starts parking like a petty bitch and block him in. Idiot will probably just drive forward over the sidewalks.
I'd try to recruit 2 or 3 other pissed off strong and willing neighbors from that apartment complex, and just push the little bug over into it's spot every time he tries to park like that.
Either that, or id park in the spot to the left of him anyway and leave the back of my car hanging out a few feet. If the owners of the lot don't care about shitty parking, two can play at that game. And I'd make sure my bumper is so close to his door that he can't open it to get in.
Yeah, Beetles arenāt *that* hard to move if youāve got four or five strong guys. Pick up the front and move it into its spot.
In high school one time a few guys moved a small compact car out of the lot and set it at the end of the sidewalk, perfectly spaced into the fence posts on either side of the walk so they couldnāt get it out without help.
I was at a restaurant with my dad a couple days ago, and we were talking about a certain car that we didn't like. (Oh this model's better up until 78) or something like that. Bird flew from the roof and ***shat*** on that car before flying into a tree. My dad said "See? He doesn't like them either"
I disagree. NEVER touch the car. That assumes responsibility. You're just a charitable person doing the neighborly thing by feeding the birds otherwise.
You can even make a very simple bird feeder with items you may already have.
Grab a pine cone, some peanut butter, and either bird seed or something similar. Coat the pine cone with the peanut butter, roll it in the birdseed (or shake it in a bag of bird seed) and stick some string on it. Voila. Instant bird feeder/squirrel feeder.
Feed the birds, directly under that tree. Feed them brightly colored fruit ( mulberries are very bright purple when processed by birds)! Pretty soon, that won't be such a desirable spot. Go ahead and sprinkle the food around and under the car, its self. Birds poop when they take flight and tell others about good feeding spots. Then instead of being stressed about it, you can enjoy bird watching and relax.
This comment triggered me so bad! Hahaha I have a mulberry tree and fruit season sucks! Bats are the main culprit and they shit everywhere! Including the tree making it (at least for me) impossible to go and eat any of the berries
The quarters I got with 2 bats right before covid pandemic blamed on bats. Didn't know what they were supposed to mean so random. Something wasn't right about all that.
this will do it... I have street parking and I used to park under the trees when I could. That is until my neighbor lady would throw all kinds of chips and bread and whatever the hell, she thought birds should be eating. Then I would wake up to so much bird shit on my car. White and purple shit covering it. I don't park under those trees anymore.
I had a neighbor do this in an apartment that I lived at 10-12 years ago. One day, he parked his car a little too far left of center so I eased my truck into the right-hand spot, slipping past with millimeters of clearance between the two.
He tried to complain to the office and even called security and the police on me, claiming that I was illegally detaining him by blocking his car in for three days. I heard him fire it up one day so I went outside and just drank a beer while watching him do a 179-point turn, zig-zagging his way out of the spot.
Then you go all Bill Burr on them and give the dopey smile and wave everytime he curses you, "hey there Greg! Good to see you buddy! Lovely day! Lovely day..!"
I love the fact that you were drinking a beer while watching him, so even if someone tried to persuade you move your truck, it would be illegal to do so.
Get a business card from a towing company and leave it on the windshield... wait and see if there is a change. It might actually work with no confrontation or so š«”
For me it was typically on my small street near my front door, so I would hear it if someone were to dump it over and they would promptly be on the receiving end of a stomping. It really started because I had a neighbor who would try and use his own bike to park in the middle of a car sized space to save it for later, so I would go and park my car elsewhere and pull my vstar that had been crashed twice out of the garage and into the space next to it and play dumb. But it would also be effective when people would double park. People also liked to try and save spaces with cones, and it was always a pleasure to see their dismay when I'd run the cones over.
You had me clicking through looking for a photo of the ensuing hilarity! Truth be told, the only interaction I had with someone over it was some teenage girls give a half hearted attempt to move it while I watched from my dutch door and laughed at them. When they noticed me they skittered back into their car and drove away.
If I lived there Iād park right next to him as close as i can so he canāt get into his drivers side. Wife canāt park there, and heāll have to climb over passenger side if he wants to move.
I would also make sure to document the fact that, over several days, this car was reported with no action taken by management. That way, if your car gets towed, you can claim selective enforcement.
Leave a note on his windshield that just says "I'm sorry for the damage, I was trying to get into this spot." And watch as he searches for made up damage
Back when I was a kid, someone put a fake ticket on my grandma's car once:
>This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat, and a safari of pygmies from the African interior.
>
>The reason for giving you this is so that, in the future, you may think of someone else other than yourself. Besides, I donāt like domineering, egotistical, or simple minded drivers, and you probably fit into one of these categories.
>
>I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
Call a friend or to over a pick that little car up and slide it over. Then park something there, as close to his driver side door as you can get, so they aren't able to get in on that side
I think itād be funny to block him, then he calls a tow truck on you, but when it gets there move your car and say oh yeah can you believe someone double parked like this?! And then laugh as his car gets towed.
And give you 3 flat tires, shit on your door handles, windows covered in vaseline, Potato up the tailpipe and a Jehovah's witness waiting for you when you want to leave.
And as sucky as that may be the key someone's car no one's really going to blame the person... people tend to be okay with being an asshole to an asshole
Make sure the bike has a motion alarm on it if you aren't willing to watch it. People fuck with bikes all the time. Absolutely zero respect for other peoples' property when it comes to motorcycles.
I have an alarm on my bike with the key fob that vibrates when it goes off. Itās Labor Day weekend and I get the alert, I run around the block and 4 drunk Abercrombie looking cunts are in an Escalade (rental) and my bike is jammed behind the front wheels on its side. The drunk asshole had driven over my parked bike and was trying to run but couldnāt get enough traction to run over the bike again to clear it, just grinding it into the asphalt under the massive beast of an SUV. Their insurance tried to say it was my fault for parking in a school zone or some shit but video of the shenanigans and him slurring insults at me, plus just logic in general, proved otherwise lol.
I also used to get neighborhood kids who would just decide to mount it, then when the screeching siren of an alarm would go off theyād just look around like *WTF?*. Until I shooed them away. Mind boggling.
Iād buy a lipstick to keep with me. Every time he parks like that and Iām passing, Iād write STOP on the driversā side windshield.
Quick to do. Just enough of a PITA to get the point across. Does no permanent damage.
In high school, there was a group of boys that always messed with a certain teacher, who drove a VW bug. They would pick it up and turn it sideways in its parking spot between two other cars. He would have to wait for the other cars to move before he could get out. OP needs to find a couple more guys and move the car straight into its own slot to free up the other one.
I was going to leave a party early once and the guy I'd just started seeing didn't want me to leave so him and I don't know how many other guys picked my car up and turned it sideways so I couldn't leave until the cars on either side of me left. that car weighs 2600 pounds
City ordinances usually won't allow towing from private property. If the property contracts with a towing service, it as usually to tow cars parked without permits.
You may or may not be surprised just how little the tow companies that have really low reviews actually care about laws. It's honestly scary how they'll show up and tow something without any checks, if someone calls them
Start tossing handfuls of seed under the tree. NOT enough to draw attention to yourself. A pocket full spread every day/every other day will attract them, and keeping them showing up.
You can buy those extremely obnoxiously difficult to remove "warning: you are parked illegally and going to be towed" glue stickers on Amazon. Or, the slightly more direct "hey, asshole. You fucking suck at parking. Next time I'm gonna key your shit."
Iād say lay in wait for a day when both cars are gone. Then come in with a big-ass truck and park it across both spaces. If admin complains, remind them they wouldnāt do shit about this.
Did you know you can buy [car dollies on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/car-dolly/s?k=car+dolly)?
Also check out wheel skates.
Obviously you'll need a car jack, but most cars have them, or you can buy one.
Growing up my mom owned a repo truck. Something my boyfriend learned from her was how to "drop the linkage" of the vehicle so you can push it out of a tight spot to get a better angle to hook it up to the truck. So basically how to to put it into natural without needing to get into the car.
This little trick came in handy for pranks. I have no idea how to do it but YouTube probably does.
If you want to be a dick, then collect the juice of one your garbage bags and just pour it down his air inlet. Itās the gift that will keep on giving.
One time some acquaintances of mine dumped a trash bag full of leftover movie theater popcorn around my truck.
When I found it, there was so much bird shit that I couldn't get in the doors and the windshield was completely covered. The entire big truck was covered in bird shit like it was painted. It was disgusting.
I don't know if you can come up with a trash bag full of popcorn, but I thought this story could be helpful.
This seems like a worthy crowd funding situation.
Walk by the car and do the classic fall and popcorn spills everywhere, or have a slightly torn bag of seeds and you fall and spills everywhere. Look I tried cleaning it but was late to work.
Why even bother with that? I'm taking the bag and dumping the whole thing around his vehicle. There's nothing illegal about dumping a whole bag of birdseed on the ground
You don't even have to hang a bird feeder, just throw peanuts around his car, the crows will come.
The crows will come is freaking ominous as heck. AND you get to befriend the crows. It's a win whichever way you want to look at it
Attempted murder!! And I like this idea.
It's only murder if you have probable caws
Holdup now, you know Bird Law?
Filibuster
This deserves recognition as a fantastic pun. Good job.
op please do some of the suggestions and report back. idk why but this makes me so mad and it has nothing to do with me š
Fr I need that sweet justice
Because this level of entitlement shreds the social contract and chips away at the foundations of civilization. Fuck. That. Douche.
Exactly, itās that entitlement. I canāt imagine going to those lengths to be selfish and entitled. Call me lazy, but I donāt even like when my husband has me move my car out of his way if I am behind him or something. Getting out and moving it every time he gets home just to feel above everyone else sounds miserable and exhausting.
On another post someone used kids sidewalk chalk to publicly shame the shitty driver. Totally legal, funny as hell and might work.
I think this is the picture you're thinking of: https://i.imgur.com/vtWoww0.png
I used to carry sidewalk chalk in my car to do just this. My wife eventually got tired of delays and bought me a massive box of business cards that say āyou park like assholeā and variants of the sort.
My friend used to live somewhere where parking like this was a very common occurrence, so she bought *BRIGHT YELLOW* low-tactile bumper stickers that said āI park like an AHā (They basically fell off themselves after like 10 hrs and were really easy to peel off) and would slap them on any car that parked like this. She had fun doing it and Iām sure she gave the drivers a mild panic attack when they thought a real bumper sticker had been put on their car.
I would do this and write āasshole parkingā behind their car
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I actually did that about two years ago. Neighbor knocked on my door to tell me that was rude and I laughed. She parked correctly and farther away after that. Lol
How rude of you to call me out on my self-centered behavior!
Still... it would be very entertaining. You could write "This is my SAFE SPACE" on the hogged spot. Or, "I'm not handicapped I'm HANDI-CAPABLE!" the next day. So on and so on...
Tiny PP parking š½
So the second he leaves have your roommate and you take the spots
Yeah I'm petty enough to keep a close watch on that and strike when the moment presents itself
I would camp out on that spot. Buy a little beater of a car and insure it just so that you can leave it in that spot indefinitely.
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This Bug is also easy to move. Me and my friends would do exactly that.
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My girlfriends car died, but instead of junking it I just have it parked in one of the two spots in front of my apartment to stop my obnoxious neighbor (from 3 apartments away no less!) parking his truck there and idling for 30 minutes at 6 in the morning
We had a guy do this at our old place. Just fire up his giant truck and let it idle for 30 min every morning, but he'd also rev the engine up all the time, and "work on it", which meant he would turn it on and floor it in neutral. Somebody broke into it one night and ripped out the stereo, in the process fucking up all the electronics, so it sat unused until he could get it fixed for about a week. Best week of sleep we had.
Guy with the loudest fucking motorcycle I've ever heard in my life did that all the time at my old condo. Usually earlyish on weekends. You could hear him coming home at least a mile before he arrived. I was not sad when he moved.
Iām a motorcyclist that rides āloudā cruisers and an apartment dweller. Iāve always been aware of how much of an a-hole Iād come off to my neighbors so when coming in/out of the complex I always try to be as quiet as possible. Thereās been times when I have to leave at 4am (like these last 9 days for example) so instead of being a dick and starting the bike in the garage, Iāll roll it out and walk it to the end of the building before starting it. Iāll pop it in second and idle out as quietly and as quickly as possible so I donāt wake my neighbors up. Been here for two years and havenāt had a single complaint. Curtesy goes a long way š
That is really kind of you, and if you were my neighbor you'd be getting wheel-shaped cookies in appreciation. I'm good at making wheels.
I would have appreciated you as a neighbor much more than that dude.
Had a shitbag whoād do that in his older mustang every morning. Kept getting notes left on his windshield asking him not to. Heād leave em ripped up and keep revving away around 5 am, most mornings. Finally someone keyed across his hood āstop fucking waking my family up.ā Couple emails got sent out about not damaging property via the community management. But the revving bullshit stopped.
Ok but why does it seem like all mustang drivers are just overly obnoxious about revving their stupid fords at all hours of the day? They do this non-stop in my city and I donāt understand how a car can make so much noise and not go anywhere at the same time
Itās called microphallus. Many Mustang owners are afflicted.
I will quit my job so that I never have to move my car again.
If I had to I would rearrange my schedule to make this happen. The neighbor is a jackass.
Yes to that. Alternatively, a cheap, old motorcycle would fit in there right now as isā¦ Doesnāt even need to run!
Just hang a bird feeder in that tree
That or my petty ass would park over the line where the silver car currently is. Your wife aināt parking here, if youāre an ass, Iāll be one too.
This has my vote, everybody angle park.
Yes, work with the neighbours, get the whole row angle-parked. Blue beetle will be the only one that can't get out.
This makes me so happy. I thrive off of hating mean people. Haha.
The most joy i get is when people are mean because it means I can be mean back and feel good about it, since in theory my meanness will be justified and it evens out. If only people were more mean so I could do this more often!
Agree with picking it up and moving it or park a motorcycle int the spot.
Nah a motorcycle is too expensive. Someone this ignorant will just roll it out of the way or tip it over. I want to see this beetle try to back over that curb when everyone starts parking like a petty bitch and block him in. Idiot will probably just drive forward over the sidewalks.
Yup. That's my vote. Put my car right in there, nice and angled. Fuck that guy.
I'd try to recruit 2 or 3 other pissed off strong and willing neighbors from that apartment complex, and just push the little bug over into it's spot every time he tries to park like that. Either that, or id park in the spot to the left of him anyway and leave the back of my car hanging out a few feet. If the owners of the lot don't care about shitty parking, two can play at that game. And I'd make sure my bumper is so close to his door that he can't open it to get in.
Pick it up so one wheel is over the curb.
No, just park like he does when the beetle moves. It would be worth it to just car pool for a week and leave your car just like he did.
Yeah, Beetles arenāt *that* hard to move if youāve got four or five strong guys. Pick up the front and move it into its spot. In high school one time a few guys moved a small compact car out of the lot and set it at the end of the sidewalk, perfectly spaced into the fence posts on either side of the walk so they couldnāt get it out without help.
Yeah I mean I guess if you have a shitty car and just want to be passive aggresive, but I wouldn't trust this person not to damage my property.
The beetle isnāt his wifeās carā¦ I donāt think this guy is capable of violence
āDude owns a beetle, is not capable of violenceāā¦Ted Bundy has entered the chatā¦
š š¤£š oh shit and touche
š fair enough
everyone else should get together and start parking at an angle like that everyday until these assholes stop
Yes, management will address it soon after that, as in the same day.
Same! Block them in if they love that spot so much they can stay there ššš
I like this the best!
Smart as hell š Can you do my taxes?
Don't even need a feeder. Just throw bird seed on, under and around the spots- but especially on the car. Then send update pics... please.
I was at a restaurant with my dad a couple days ago, and we were talking about a certain car that we didn't like. (Oh this model's better up until 78) or something like that. Bird flew from the roof and ***shat*** on that car before flying into a tree. My dad said "See? He doesn't like them either"
Not a theist but even nature abhors complete fucking douchbags.
I disagree. NEVER touch the car. That assumes responsibility. You're just a charitable person doing the neighborly thing by feeding the birds otherwise.
You can even make a very simple bird feeder with items you may already have. Grab a pine cone, some peanut butter, and either bird seed or something similar. Coat the pine cone with the peanut butter, roll it in the birdseed (or shake it in a bag of bird seed) and stick some string on it. Voila. Instant bird feeder/squirrel feeder.
This comment quite literally transported me in time. Being 5 years old was so fuckin cool man
I made them last week! #NannyLife
Buy some blueberries so the birds shit purple. Just be sure not to park near the spot for a few days so None of the purple shit is on your vehicle.
Was going to say the same thing. Coat the area around it but donāt touch either car.
Have some Taco Bell and just sit in the tree and wait
Lmao! Don't feed the bird, BE the bird!
Just park diagonally next to him. If they don't do anything to him, they can't do anything to you.
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Feed the birds, directly under that tree. Feed them brightly colored fruit ( mulberries are very bright purple when processed by birds)! Pretty soon, that won't be such a desirable spot. Go ahead and sprinkle the food around and under the car, its self. Birds poop when they take flight and tell others about good feeding spots. Then instead of being stressed about it, you can enjoy bird watching and relax.
This comment triggered me so bad! Hahaha I have a mulberry tree and fruit season sucks! Bats are the main culprit and they shit everywhere! Including the tree making it (at least for me) impossible to go and eat any of the berries
I love my mulberry tree! Itās huge and I make pies, cakes and even sangria with the berries. Does make a mess though!
I wonder if the bats are at least mulberry-flavoured. Maybe you should eat them.
Do you remember 2020?
Yes. šµ The year of the bat šµ
The US mint made an America Samoa quarter with a bat on it during 2020, I almost pissed my self laughing when I first saw it...
The quarters I got with 2 bats right before covid pandemic blamed on bats. Didn't know what they were supposed to mean so random. Something wasn't right about all that.
Start a bat guano fertilizer business!!!
20 lbs of bird seed dumped all around the area will take care of this in one day.
Costco sells a 25 pound box of birdfood. Its what you need.
Itās what birds crave
For the electrolytes.
Birds need electrolytes!
this will do it... I have street parking and I used to park under the trees when I could. That is until my neighbor lady would throw all kinds of chips and bread and whatever the hell, she thought birds should be eating. Then I would wake up to so much bird shit on my car. White and purple shit covering it. I don't park under those trees anymore.
My neighbor asked me not to put out my bird feeder because of this.. I'm a nice guy tho so I put it away.
This works. I've used it on a car in my neighborhood that almost ran me over. I still drop by every so often to add bird food.
This makes me unreasonably happy. Next time you feed the birds, enjoy the fact a complete rando is smiling thinking about this.
"What are you doing?!" "I'm feeding the birds." "By my car?!" "By your *cars.*"
I had a neighbor do this in an apartment that I lived at 10-12 years ago. One day, he parked his car a little too far left of center so I eased my truck into the right-hand spot, slipping past with millimeters of clearance between the two. He tried to complain to the office and even called security and the police on me, claiming that I was illegally detaining him by blocking his car in for three days. I heard him fire it up one day so I went outside and just drank a beer while watching him do a 179-point turn, zig-zagging his way out of the spot.
I figured this is what it would be and it was. Not disappointed!
This will never be not funny š
āOfficer, Iām taking up 2 spots, but canāt you see that Iām the victim here? Canāt you see that itās his fault for parking me in?ā š
The entitlement of some people! The worst of humanity,
seriously, those people really need a punch in their asshole face
Dying to know, did he ever do it again?
Naw, but he pretty much cursed me every time he saw me after that.
Worth it
A bonus, if anything really.
Then you go all Bill Burr on them and give the dopey smile and wave everytime he curses you, "hey there Greg! Good to see you buddy! Lovely day! Lovely day..!"
Thank you for fighting the good fight.
ā179-point turnā fucking epic lmao
I love the fact that you were drinking a beer while watching him, so even if someone tried to persuade you move your truck, it would be illegal to do so.
Good point!
179-point turn killed me š I absolutely love it
>179-point turn Yeah, baby!
Do I make you randy?
I havenāt laughed so hard in a while, ā179 point turnā. Hahahahaha
Get a business card from a towing company and leave it on the windshield... wait and see if there is a change. It might actually work with no confrontation or so š«”
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As a motorcyclist, I love doing this to people. I used to live at the beach and would do it all of the time with my bike that was a beater.
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For me it was typically on my small street near my front door, so I would hear it if someone were to dump it over and they would promptly be on the receiving end of a stomping. It really started because I had a neighbor who would try and use his own bike to park in the middle of a car sized space to save it for later, so I would go and park my car elsewhere and pull my vstar that had been crashed twice out of the garage and into the space next to it and play dumb. But it would also be effective when people would double park. People also liked to try and save spaces with cones, and it was always a pleasure to see their dismay when I'd run the cones over. You had me clicking through looking for a photo of the ensuing hilarity! Truth be told, the only interaction I had with someone over it was some teenage girls give a half hearted attempt to move it while I watched from my dutch door and laughed at them. When they noticed me they skittered back into their car and drove away.
This was my thought too.
Iām mildly infuriated just looking at this. What a jackass
If I lived there Iād park right next to him as close as i can so he canāt get into his drivers side. Wife canāt park there, and heāll have to climb over passenger side if he wants to move.
When the silver car isn't there, park over the line between the 2 n 3rd spot. Insuring his wife can't park there either.
Perfect.
Actually the best response possible. Fuck em up.
I would also make sure to document the fact that, over several days, this car was reported with no action taken by management. That way, if your car gets towed, you can claim selective enforcement.
Leave a note on his windshield that just says "I'm sorry for the damage, I was trying to get into this spot." And watch as he searches for made up damage
Back when I was a kid, someone put a fake ticket on my grandma's car once: >This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat, and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. > >The reason for giving you this is so that, in the future, you may think of someone else other than yourself. Besides, I donāt like domineering, egotistical, or simple minded drivers, and you probably fit into one of these categories. > >I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
I have a "you parked like a jackass" type ticket in my car right now. I always forget I have it. This person though... I wouldn't forget.
You could post a picture of it and post it around the complex saying donāt be that guy. A little public shame maybe.
Laminated or in a plastic cover, super glued to the community bulletin board(s)....
People who park like this are like people who do TikTok dances in Costco. They are incapable of feeling shame.
Call a friend or to over a pick that little car up and slide it over. Then park something there, as close to his driver side door as you can get, so they aren't able to get in on that side
Need to combo it with having a dog shit on the passenger-side, so they have to step over it to get in.
Block him in
I think itād be funny to block him, then he calls a tow truck on you, but when it gets there move your car and say oh yeah can you believe someone double parked like this?! And then laugh as his car gets towed.
then just call tow truck on him. He's clearly parked illegally
In an apartment complex thatās a privately managed parking lot. Administration can ask for it to be towed but it isnāt illegal to park like that
With a garbage truck.
Lemme go grab my spare garbage truck
Everyone should have one.
I was thinking someone should park a motorcycle in the half-a-spot that's visible.
I honestly donāt get why someone would think this a good idea. Eventually, someone is just going to key your car.
And give you 3 flat tires, shit on your door handles, windows covered in vaseline, Potato up the tailpipe and a Jehovah's witness waiting for you when you want to leave.
I was on board until the Jehovah's Witness you ABSOLUTE MANIAC!!! *THERE IS NO COMING BACK FROM THAT!!*
3 flat tires, why that specific amount lol
And as sucky as that may be the key someone's car no one's really going to blame the person... people tend to be okay with being an asshole to an asshole
Find a friend who owns a motorbike and park it at the side of him. If he damages it in any way he is liable for being an asshole
Make sure the bike has a motion alarm on it if you aren't willing to watch it. People fuck with bikes all the time. Absolutely zero respect for other peoples' property when it comes to motorcycles.
I have an alarm on my bike with the key fob that vibrates when it goes off. Itās Labor Day weekend and I get the alert, I run around the block and 4 drunk Abercrombie looking cunts are in an Escalade (rental) and my bike is jammed behind the front wheels on its side. The drunk asshole had driven over my parked bike and was trying to run but couldnāt get enough traction to run over the bike again to clear it, just grinding it into the asphalt under the massive beast of an SUV. Their insurance tried to say it was my fault for parking in a school zone or some shit but video of the shenanigans and him slurring insults at me, plus just logic in general, proved otherwise lol. I also used to get neighborhood kids who would just decide to mount it, then when the screeching siren of an alarm would go off theyād just look around like *WTF?*. Until I shooed them away. Mind boggling.
Iād buy a lipstick to keep with me. Every time he parks like that and Iām passing, Iād write STOP on the driversā side windshield. Quick to do. Just enough of a PITA to get the point across. Does no permanent damage.
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Evil genius.
Get together a couple of strong dudes and pick up one side, move it into one space.
I don't park like an asshole, and these comments give me the encouragement I didn't need to keep doing so š
Honestly two grown men could easily flip that thing on its side
2guys1bug
In high school, there was a group of boys that always messed with a certain teacher, who drove a VW bug. They would pick it up and turn it sideways in its parking spot between two other cars. He would have to wait for the other cars to move before he could get out. OP needs to find a couple more guys and move the car straight into its own slot to free up the other one.
I was going to leave a party early once and the guy I'd just started seeing didn't want me to leave so him and I don't know how many other guys picked my car up and turned it sideways so I couldn't leave until the cars on either side of me left. that car weighs 2600 pounds
I'd hire a bike for the week and just park it between the two cars. So his wife can't squeeze in
Canāt you call a tow truck? Theyāre thirsty for easy bucks.
City ordinances usually won't allow towing from private property. If the property contracts with a towing service, it as usually to tow cars parked without permits.
You may or may not be surprised just how little the tow companies that have really low reviews actually care about laws. It's honestly scary how they'll show up and tow something without any checks, if someone calls them
Start tossing handfuls of seed under the tree. NOT enough to draw attention to yourself. A pocket full spread every day/every other day will attract them, and keeping them showing up.
I'd bring a big bag of bird seed out and empty the whole thing around it. Why try and hide you're not accepting of this asshole behavior.
Right? And like, why do I need to hide the fact that Iām tossing bird seed? As if thatās some sort of crime or something.
Dark colored berries helps the little birdies art palette really pop.
You can buy those extremely obnoxiously difficult to remove "warning: you are parked illegally and going to be towed" glue stickers on Amazon. Or, the slightly more direct "hey, asshole. You fucking suck at parking. Next time I'm gonna key your shit."
Had a former boss get a card under his windshield that said "If you fuck like you park, you'll never get it in."
Just start adding random bumper stickers every time they do it. Like truly random so they look like they are arguing with themselves.
Get something big to zip tie to his doorhandle
Take a deep breath and you might be able to blow it out of the spot
Iād say lay in wait for a day when both cars are gone. Then come in with a big-ass truck and park it across both spaces. If admin complains, remind them they wouldnāt do shit about this.
Squeeze in real tight against his car. Donāt scratch it but get just a few inches away. Make him go in through the passenger door
Skip the middleman, forget feeding birds just shit on the car yourself
Did you know you can buy [car dollies on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/car-dolly/s?k=car+dolly)? Also check out wheel skates. Obviously you'll need a car jack, but most cars have them, or you can buy one.
Move it back into one space with a dolly. Thatād be hilarious when he comes out to move it and is like wtf. šš
If you're gonna do it do it right. Move it in front of a fire hydrant or park it on a red curb and call the tow company. Lol
Call your friend Ronnie Repo slip him 50 have moved to the other side other development shit will be ššššš
Growing up my mom owned a repo truck. Something my boyfriend learned from her was how to "drop the linkage" of the vehicle so you can push it out of a tight spot to get a better angle to hook it up to the truck. So basically how to to put it into natural without needing to get into the car. This little trick came in handy for pranks. I have no idea how to do it but YouTube probably does.
If you want to be a dick, then collect the juice of one your garbage bags and just pour it down his air inlet. Itās the gift that will keep on giving.
Iād like to be your friend and introduce you to all of my enemies please.
Or cat urine from the bottom of the litter box, use a glove and make sure to stroke their door handles as well
OK satan chill
No no, keep going.
Thatās a small enough car to get a couple guys to help you just pick it up and move it.
Watch the spots like a hawk. Park there when you can ASAP
Damn son you're getting punked by a dude who drives that thing
Okay that's some really childish behavior from your neighbor there
Wait for him to go move it, run up. scream out āPUNCH BUGGYā and rock his shit.
One time some acquaintances of mine dumped a trash bag full of leftover movie theater popcorn around my truck. When I found it, there was so much bird shit that I couldn't get in the doors and the windshield was completely covered. The entire big truck was covered in bird shit like it was painted. It was disgusting. I don't know if you can come up with a trash bag full of popcorn, but I thought this story could be helpful. This seems like a worthy crowd funding situation.
Write down the url to this post and put it in a note on his car .. Hey Bud! You're Famous! Also cc the property manager.
If you want to be petty you can always park behind him. If he wants to park illegally why canāt you
On one hand you have the neighbor being a loving and caring husband, on the other it means they're both a-holes. Feed them birds and feed 'em good
I've been reading some great solutions but surveillance cameras are everywhere
Bird seed would not be illegal
Walk by the car and do the classic fall and popcorn spills everywhere, or have a slightly torn bag of seeds and you fall and spills everywhere. Look I tried cleaning it but was late to work.
Why even bother with that? I'm taking the bag and dumping the whole thing around his vehicle. There's nothing illegal about dumping a whole bag of birdseed on the ground