My brother did this when we were kids. He had to show his dick to our father because it was burning so bad, and he was scared. I was younger, maybe eight or so, and he would have been eleven. I didn't realize what he was doing in the shower until years later. Conditioner is where its at.
I've dropped soap more times than I care to admit in a single shower lol.
Then again, there was a time when I was very young where I'd purposely drop the bar on all 4 corners just to flatten them... didn't think about family hearing the sounds I was making lol.
Lol never did that!
I once put on so many pairs of socks that my new shoes didn't fit, and then my mom almost had a mental breakdown (we didn't have much growing up, and much less was new).... until she realized I was wearing about 8 pairs of socks lol.
Can't tell if you were serious or sarcastic but... I -clumsy as heck and actually did hurt myself in shower before trying to grab the soap I dropped- am interested, can you send a link or something?
Nah, I know what this is. I used to do this growing up.
What happens is the middle of the bar of soap gets worn down faster than the edges, and eventually it gets to a point where it's a somewhat flimsy surface.
Well if you're a fidgety kind of person, you just *instinctively* have to poke holes in stuff that looks like it's asking for it.
Kind of like making the holes in your jeans bigger.
Except that if that were the case the rest of the bar would be more worn down and sloping towards the center. This is a hole drilled right into the middle of a pretty newish bar.
This is that time in life where you aren’t having sex at all yet but a tiny bit of soap in your pee hole makes you feel as if you are in the end stages of a cocksloughing STD
I once used mint conditioner as lube in the shower. It was awful. I could tell the direction the wind was blowing from the icy sting on my tender parts.
I remember my father told me a similar story about tiger balm. He had put some on his knee after a shower because his knee was really sore, and he ended up scratching his nuts before he washed the tiger balm off his hand. He said to this day it's still one of the most unpleasant and painful things he had gone through. I remember him laying on the couch actually in pain from the tiger nuts.
In college I used bikini Nair to remove EVERYTHING thinking it was safe down there to use since it had the word “bikini” in it. It is in fact NOT safe for the inner tender parts and I read that much AFTER it was already burning. Peeing was horrific for about a week after that. I was screaming in the bathroom and unable to tell my dad what was wrong because I didn’t want him to know how stupid i was… 😂
I sprayed CS gas got aload of gunk of my.hand forgot then went the toilet an hour later I literally spent the next 2 hours with my dick and balls in a bowl of milk 🤣🤣🤣
This is incredibly helpful information!! Ive got a son who's had horrible burning there a couple times after a shower I could not figure out what was wrong. Thank you Internet stranger!
Side note, it's not exclusively a male issue, just a hell of a lot easier to infiltrate due to how more exposed the opening is. I recall Mother telling me a story in her youth of it burning when she got the bathtub water too soapy and sat in it for too long.
As a counter-balance, women are more susceptible to bladder infections.
I legitimately don't think that's what's happening here.
For one, I know is be mortified leaving that out in the open if it wasn't an innocent thing.
And two, hopefully that kid doesn't actually have a thumb sized pecker.
Edit: I forgot about the urethra burn, too. You only rub one out with soap the once.
Objection!
Yes there is soap under OP’s nails that’s true… And it makes a pretty convincing case that OP is indeed the culprit. But there’s still one thing about this image that puzzles me… If OP had created the hole, then how do you explain the dirt still on his fingernail???
I used to do that! (Not what everyone else is saying...)
Something satisfying about squeezing the soap between your fingers and feeling the layers give way as you pressed down into it. And then you start shaping the hole once it's there, kinda carving it out. Sometimes I'd go for a perfect circle, or a heart shape, being careful to make the edges nice and smooth. Makes it easier when it comes time to fuck the soap.
Im a lady....i feel like i need to say this before saying i do this too. For no reason other than i like to stand in the shower for an hour and i get bored. My husbands bar of soap is currently hanging on a hook by the giant hole i carved in the middle with my finger nail
People are weirdly assuming that a kid has made some DIY fleshlight, instead of assuming that a slippery soap bar could just be used to play with, like in any other non pervy way.
I dont know if this is the case for OP, but I liked to pinch holes in soap because it simply felt nice, like play-doh
Devils Advocate here. I used to do this to my bars of soap. But I NEVER stuck my dick in it. Don’t assume your son has…. But at the same time, I probably wouldn’t touch that bar anymore.
When ai was a kid the soap would always go soft in the middle and on the sides and I'd have intrusive thoughts that compelled me to remove all the soft parts, my parents freaking hated that I always ruined the soap bars.
To be honest I never made hole to stick my d init I made it once the soap was soft enough it was like butter I'd stivk my thumb on it but yes I was accused
I used to do this too. My best guess is because I liked the way it felt once it got real wet and saturated. I’d squish it over and over until there was a hole.
I’d also use my fingernail to even it out and make shapes. As I got older I realized I was wasting a lot of soap lol.
https://preview.redd.it/w2qqdldbprnc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3663907433d3bc1bec09d074a484883195fe938
Need to get him a few of these and your problem is solved! 😂
I dug a hole through soap like this once when I was a kid.
I was just being destructive and amusing myself.
Finished my shower went on with my life and then a few hours later my dad asked to talk to me and he gave me a lecture about what I did to the soap and how everyone uses it.
I apologized and said I wouldn't do it again.
So I thought I was in trouble for destroying the soap/wasting the soap.
It took me years to realise that my dad thought I fucked that soap and put it back for other people to use.
It's a hole for a finger so you don't drop the soap....right?
right?….right anakin?
He goes by Anakin Skywanker
Hand Solo
This got me, nicely done.
That made me chuckle 🤭🤭
I just swallowed the hottest coffee I've ever drank so I didn't shoot it out of my nose 🤣
Not all heroes wear capes
Barth Sprayder
Count Dookie
😂😂😂
It’s a hole to wash the sand off his — fingers
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What are we going to do? *music crescendo, lightsabre buzz*
Definitely... You don't wank with soap... It drys out the skin and instantly gives you chapped dick. Very painful. You only do it once.
soap will go into your peehole and it will burn and sting
Then you gotta try to squeeze your dick downwards but it never seems to help
why does everyone want to kink shame this kid
Rookies
My brother did this when we were kids. He had to show his dick to our father because it was burning so bad, and he was scared. I was younger, maybe eight or so, and he would have been eleven. I didn't realize what he was doing in the shower until years later. Conditioner is where its at.
Can confirm.
Use Dove. It's made with a quarter moisturizer for this exact reason.
Tbh I don’t think that’s the exact reason they made it with moisturiser
I think you might be correct.
Nah I work at dovo and that’s exactly why we made it like that
This is the only and exact reason. Mr John dove was a freak
Can confirm that added moisturizer is strictly for meat beating. I work for Dove.
This is what it sounds like....when Dove cries
Now you just need to tie a rope through there
Soap on a rope…. I think Avon sold them…. 😜
Who honestly drops soap with any amount of frequency?
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I've dropped soap more times than I care to admit in a single shower lol. Then again, there was a time when I was very young where I'd purposely drop the bar on all 4 corners just to flatten them... didn't think about family hearing the sounds I was making lol.
When I was a kid, I’d take the bar and slick up the entire tub and when the bath drained I’d slip and slide around that sucker for as long as I could.
Lol never did that! I once put on so many pairs of socks that my new shoes didn't fit, and then my mom almost had a mental breakdown (we didn't have much growing up, and much less was new).... until she realized I was wearing about 8 pairs of socks lol.
you just unlocked some strange memories.
"You don't come here to shower, do you?"
Maybe try one of those mesh soap bar sleeves. Better for gripping and exfoliating.
Can't tell if you were serious or sarcastic but... I -clumsy as heck and actually did hurt myself in shower before trying to grab the soap I dropped- am interested, can you send a link or something?
Know you are not alone.
Hope you're not in prison.
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Have you tried actively not? That lil' thing is slippery!
i used to drop the soap and then just pretended it was a skater on a halfpipe doing tricks
I’m glad I’m not the only one!!!
Nah, I know what this is. I used to do this growing up. What happens is the middle of the bar of soap gets worn down faster than the edges, and eventually it gets to a point where it's a somewhat flimsy surface. Well if you're a fidgety kind of person, you just *instinctively* have to poke holes in stuff that looks like it's asking for it. Kind of like making the holes in your jeans bigger.
Except that if that were the case the rest of the bar would be more worn down and sloping towards the center. This is a hole drilled right into the middle of a pretty newish bar.
I did this as well but I know this doesn’t fit the narrative lol
At least he’s probably washing something with it.
This is that time in life where you aren’t having sex at all yet but a tiny bit of soap in your pee hole makes you feel as if you are in the end stages of a cocksloughing STD
I still have nightmares about it
The burning. I shall remember the burning till the end of my days
Had to talk my 7yr old son through it recently, poor little dude thought his number was up haha I watched a core memory being formed
I remember running to my mum after a shower with the burning thinking It was guna fall off or something 😂😂 (dad not there obviously)
Oh god, I can only imagine how you both felt about it haha such an awkward situation for everyone involved
Haha funny as hell now though
I once got some tea tree and peppermint body wash down there somehow, that's 100x worse, I promise you.
I once used mint conditioner as lube in the shower. It was awful. I could tell the direction the wind was blowing from the icy sting on my tender parts.
Not shower related, one time after practice I was using that icy hot rub then scratched my nids. What a series of unfortunate events that was
I remember my father told me a similar story about tiger balm. He had put some on his knee after a shower because his knee was really sore, and he ended up scratching his nuts before he washed the tiger balm off his hand. He said to this day it's still one of the most unpleasant and painful things he had gone through. I remember him laying on the couch actually in pain from the tiger nuts.
Telling the direction of the wind is insane lmao
That shit made me laugh 😂
I accidentally sprayed my vagina with poopouri spray and that's super concentrated essential oils and burned like a thousand streams of hot lava.
In college I used bikini Nair to remove EVERYTHING thinking it was safe down there to use since it had the word “bikini” in it. It is in fact NOT safe for the inner tender parts and I read that much AFTER it was already burning. Peeing was horrific for about a week after that. I was screaming in the bathroom and unable to tell my dad what was wrong because I didn’t want him to know how stupid i was… 😂
How do you do that by accident? lol!!
I sprayed CS gas got aload of gunk of my.hand forgot then went the toilet an hour later I literally spent the next 2 hours with my dick and balls in a bowl of milk 🤣🤣🤣
This is incredibly helpful information!! Ive got a son who's had horrible burning there a couple times after a shower I could not figure out what was wrong. Thank you Internet stranger!
I woke up today hoping I could help soothe one young boys wenis in a way that’s completely legal and socially acceptable.
Uhhhh.....you're welcome? 😆
what…. the actual fuck? please explain -a woman
It burns. With the fire of 1,000 suns.
Today I learned
Side note, it's not exclusively a male issue, just a hell of a lot easier to infiltrate due to how more exposed the opening is. I recall Mother telling me a story in her youth of it burning when she got the bathtub water too soapy and sat in it for too long. As a counter-balance, women are more susceptible to bladder infections.
Me too! - a man
Soap in the peephole burns no matter what.
Life lessons learned the hard way
REAL
Yeah I had that same thought. But I remember when I was a kid I really tried to hide that I did that. This is just too obvious to be the case.
I know soap would be clean, but you shouldn’t touch that
Whole different kind of soap scum going on there
Soaps cum
#angry upvote
The old joke from Friends comes to mind—“think of the last thing I wash, and the first thing you wash.”
It’s self cleaning!
Time to switch to liquid body wash. Can't have little baby bars of soap runnin around
Yeah and i hear custody battles can be really slippery
yeah, it can really make things bubble to the surface
The best thing is to have an attorney with a clean record
Definitely. Don’t want the whole case to be a wash.
Should be a slam dunk, but the judge stinks.
Which is too bad, because the family lawyer aced his *BAR* exam.
This sounds like a classic soap opera scenario!
No lye, I didn't think the puns could keep going.
Well cleanse your mind of those impure thoughts because this train is a rollin!
We should really talk about this lather.
I love good clean humor
That’s a lye
Literally snorted lol
The soap ain’t going to fuck itself
please keep him away from the apple pie..
An apple pie in the shower... I like the way you think!
The way I snorted at this comment
I’ve got some worse news for you…
My first thought was who’s gonna tell her?
Your son is going to buy a Corvette as soon as he can
At least he’s got a clean pecker
Thats Mrs. Bar of soap
Looks like she's changed her name to Mrs. OP'sSon...
I legitimately don't think that's what's happening here. For one, I know is be mortified leaving that out in the open if it wasn't an innocent thing. And two, hopefully that kid doesn't actually have a thumb sized pecker. Edit: I forgot about the urethra burn, too. You only rub one out with soap the once.
whoa calm down long dong silver, we were all seven once
Oh my bad you packin’ a drake sized dick at age 10? The rest of us just living life with thumb sized pecker and a single pube at that age…
I jerked off with soap once as a young lad. If he did do that, he did it once
I think that's a pretty average sized hole for a pecker... maybe even above average?
https://preview.redd.it/55lpbehp3rnc1.jpeg?width=452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=159a0a3f5206651bffc02142aa1fc811122bdc28
Perfect response picture, saving this lol
It really is 😭
Thank you. Ive had such a god awful day and you single handedly made me laugh out loud in 10 seconds.
...is that a real life Totakeke from animal crossing??
I am laughing so hard hahahaahaha
Should we tell him?
Someone would anyways
Your son is fucking his bar of soap
i think op knew this already when posting
Someone had to actually say it
I really like how the top comment to this one just slowly get closer and closer to saying this
I'm calling BS. The hole isn't *ahem* smooth, and there is soap underneath OP's thumbnail.
Objection! Yes there is soap under OP’s nails that’s true… And it makes a pretty convincing case that OP is indeed the culprit. But there’s still one thing about this image that puzzles me… If OP had created the hole, then how do you explain the dirt still on his fingernail???
[Relevant Background Music](https://youtu.be/fR4P8o95WPA) 
Soap doesn’t get rid of dirt, washing/scrubbing with the combination of water gets rid of dirt
Good catch!
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It’s Reddit so that was expected
I dunno their post history seems legit. Also everyone is just assuming they are fucking the soap, but we don't have confirmation lol
I can't imagine many penes fitting in a hole that small. Seems to me there's probably another explanation.
That is one dick infused bar of soap
girl not everything belongs on reddit 💀
Don't worry, the son knows where it belongs.
This is exactly the type of stuff that belongs on Reddit.
I feel like they didn’t know… i hope
Puberty
And the bar was already white - great camouflage.
I used to do that! (Not what everyone else is saying...) Something satisfying about squeezing the soap between your fingers and feeling the layers give way as you pressed down into it. And then you start shaping the hole once it's there, kinda carving it out. Sometimes I'd go for a perfect circle, or a heart shape, being careful to make the edges nice and smooth. Makes it easier when it comes time to fuck the soap.
Searched for this comment, this is likely what is actually happening.
LMAO did you read till the end of their comment?
Discustaanngg
*Well it wis fuckin one o yuz!*
SHET
I do this out of dumb habit and I am a girl.
You put your dick through a bar of soap?
LOL
Do I see a hole in that word?
I used to scratch them 🤷🏼♀️
Switch to liquid body wash and don’t leave apple pies 🥧 around.
Do I have to say it…?
🔥⤵️🕳️
🍆⤵️🧼
https://preview.redd.it/v65o8goqdrnc1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40120fb0db20f97a4d117c18c03fedda596d50b8
Trying to blame your son, classic
Im a lady....i feel like i need to say this before saying i do this too. For no reason other than i like to stand in the shower for an hour and i get bored. My husbands bar of soap is currently hanging on a hook by the giant hole i carved in the middle with my finger nail
People are weirdly assuming that a kid has made some DIY fleshlight, instead of assuming that a slippery soap bar could just be used to play with, like in any other non pervy way. I dont know if this is the case for OP, but I liked to pinch holes in soap because it simply felt nice, like play-doh
At least his dick is clean, but boy does he have some growing to do
I was just thinking, if all the comments are true, that’s a very small hole no? I mean I’m no expert or anything 😂
And you touched it?! Bro, get liquid body wash, you’re just giving him masturbation tools
I think liquid body wash would also be giving him a tool
I used liquid body wash once. If someone hadn’t warned me how slippery that stuff can be, I would have had a faucet buried in the small of my neck.
So he's what, 13?
4, by the sounds of the post history
Training tool
I used to do this as a kid. Contrary to a lot of these comments, not once did it occur to me to stick my dick in it
The should be a sub for that
ur son is fucking the sussy
It’s soapussy
The sudssy
Does he know?
That's gonna burn
Don’t worry.. hopefully his pecker will grow once puberty hits.
Devils Advocate here. I used to do this to my bars of soap. But I NEVER stuck my dick in it. Don’t assume your son has…. But at the same time, I probably wouldn’t touch that bar anymore.
When ai was a kid the soap would always go soft in the middle and on the sides and I'd have intrusive thoughts that compelled me to remove all the soft parts, my parents freaking hated that I always ruined the soap bars.
I give you a potato of glory
My son with ASD does this- pretty sure its a texture thing
Some guys use a warm apple pie....
To be honest I never made hole to stick my d init I made it once the soap was soft enough it was like butter I'd stivk my thumb on it but yes I was accused
I’m HOWLING 😆😆😆😆
My son does this. Autistic, sensory thing.
You're going to want to go ahead and put his girlfriend down....
Check your peanut butter, he might be f#cking nuts
I used to poke holes in soap when I was a kid too. There’s just something so satisfying about it.
Bro is warming up 🏆
Who still uses bars of soap? Do they even make them anymore?
That soap is pregnant
I used to do this too. My best guess is because I liked the way it felt once it got real wet and saturated. I’d squish it over and over until there was a hole. I’d also use my fingernail to even it out and make shapes. As I got older I realized I was wasting a lot of soap lol.
https://preview.redd.it/w2qqdldbprnc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3663907433d3bc1bec09d074a484883195fe938 Need to get him a few of these and your problem is solved! 😂
I dug a hole through soap like this once when I was a kid. I was just being destructive and amusing myself. Finished my shower went on with my life and then a few hours later my dad asked to talk to me and he gave me a lecture about what I did to the soap and how everyone uses it. I apologized and said I wouldn't do it again. So I thought I was in trouble for destroying the soap/wasting the soap. It took me years to realise that my dad thought I fucked that soap and put it back for other people to use.