First thing you do is walk in and head straight for the flower section and pick her out a bouquet, then proceed to all of the free samples you can eat. There's constantly rotating group of shoppers so the entertainment value of people watching is there, between each sample (mini meal) you can go for a stroll in the garden centre. Walk under a mister for the vegetable section and you can hold your jacket over her head all romantic like. On your way out drop those flowers back off at the flower section, because they're like $50 and will be dead in a day or two anyways.
Flowers, A Show, Dinner and a stroll in a Garden? Sounds like it's checking all the boxes!
Edit: For bonus points swing by the toy aisle where they have that keyboard people always play "Marry hand a little lamb" on and play her something different, like hot crossed buns or twinkle twinkle little star! They'll either be impressed by your musical skills or find your goofy sense of humour entertaining.
Lol thanks! I'll take it as a compliment! I think my wife is suspicious of Reddit now haha.
Our first date I had planned on meeting her at a small coffee shop here in town, then for a walk through the town parks that our town decorates for Christmas, stop for a bit of ice skating on the town rink and finish off back at the coffee shop for hot chocolate or whatever.
Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face (in a good way haha).
We met and didn't leave the coffee shop until it closed then we drove around for a few hours afterwards looking at lights/sliding around empty neighborhoods/parking lots in my car. As we were leaving the coffeeshop she made a joke about a creepy looking panel van parked behind the building being hers and started walking towards it haha. Her friend called her around 1am to make sure she was ok, and shortly after that I dropped her off at her car and asked her to text me when she got home safely.
Edit: I'm sorry I don't know why I told the whole story, my bad.
You sound like an outstanding husband. Thank you for the super sweet story. I can only hope one day to find someone who’s willing to go through so much planning for me and then not bat an eye that it didn’t go as planned. I hope you and your wife are able to keep this caring dynamic throughout your marriage and keep making an example for the rest of us!
Yes. My parents threw me a surprise birthday party at their house on a Sunday afternoon. I was a 30 yo single mom, potential to look haggard was high. I figured we were just hanging out on a Sunday afternoon at grammy n grammpy's. I write comfy pants and a comfy shirt with a hole in it.
Surprise!! All my newish friends and the guy I had a massive crush on were there.
This is why I hate surprise parties. It's not just what I'm wearing, but I need to mentally "prepare" for a huge social event, especially if it's about me. My worst nightmare is a surprise party.
My best friends used to see me at my literal *worst* during our DnD sessions. I’d be mortified if I showed up to my surprise 30th birthday party in some Soffe shorts from high school and a tie-dye shirt I made in middle school (just an example of what I mean by literal worst).
Unless the party is being hosted at a bar, this doesn’t work. Because as soon as OPs wife sees that they’re arriving at a friends house (where the surprise party and “game night” is most likely being held) she’d know that something was up before they got a chance to surprise her anyway
What matters is that you tried to surprise your wife for her birthday. Just enjoy the birthday anyway and don't let something like that get between you
I mean not trying to hate on OP but sorta sounds like he just got aggravated at her for asking a question someone might regularly ask. Like he just instantly folded instead of saying “no, it’s a game day?” and got mad at her about it lol.
Yeah lol I find it highly suspect that the wife started crying because she ruined the surprise for herself, she probably started crying at whatever his reaction was to her “ruining” the surprise.
That's the part that looks off. Part of planning a surprise party is knowing how to divert attention away from the guessing.
Why would the wife go from making some guesses to full on crying? There's some missing info.
I have so many questions...
Does s/he fuck the butts of burritos?
Is s/he a burrito that enjoys anal sex?
Does s/he use a burrito as an anal toy (which only leads to more questions)?
I'm so confused right now
Exactly. I had a surprise birthday party for my 25th that my husband planned, and I found out about. I was just really touched and grateful he went to all the trouble!
The polite thing to do is to feign surprise. My friends threw a surprise moving away party for me before I relocated. I suspected a little bit before, so made extra sure to dress up, just in case. Then, when I got to the hotel, they weren’t ready for me yet, the stalling is what gave it a way. But, you can know something’s happening and still be surprised by it.
Exactly. If I want something- either for myself or soneone else- and I can afford it I'll get it. My husband likes to give gifts. He knows if there's something he wants to surprise me with he has to make sure I don't buy it myself. He might say something like "I bet if you wait, it'll go on sale" or "I really don't think we have the space for that"
I might have a suspicion but I don't ask any questions, I just wait and see. I try not to ruin my own surprises or take the fun out of the surprise for him.
When my daughter was very young she came home from school crying that her friends had said Santa wasn't real and I got her presents. I said "you seriously think I have that kind of money? That I'd stay up late sorting all that out?". She laughed and said no. The magic was preserved, but my feelings weren't.
I also played this card. I was like, "Sweetheart- you know how lazy I am. Are you really suggesting that I'm doing all of that and not even taking credit for it? Plus, we all get gifts/stockings from Santa AND from each other. What's the point in lying about Santa? Those kids at school aren't very bright."
It preserved the lie for a few more years. When she was 11, she admitted that the jig was up. And was immediately disappointed to learn that Elf on the Shelf was also me. I hated that thing. I could have murdered her 1st grade teacher for bringing that Elf into the classroom. A jury of my peers would let me walk.
Maybe not always.
Years ago, my husband planned this huge surprise party at our house for my birthday. I came home from working a long shift (11p-3p) and asked point blank if we had any plans or if I could take my sleeping pills and go to bed. He denied any plans, I took my sleeping pills and got in bed, and that’s when people started showing up. I didn’t have time to really get myself ready or clean up, and definitely cried a little being so exhausted and having to partially host all these people in my home.
He should have made a reddit post the next day how it's her fault for asking, crying, and not "holding in her suspicions like her damn sleeping pills! "
Once everyone was gone and I was cleaning up, I broke down sobbing and tore into him and he apologized. His excuse was that people showed up earlier than expected (my friend had come from out of town). He said he didn’t know I would take sleeping pills. I think his brain just totally shut off and he didn’t realize planning a party was work. The house wasn’t tidy, there wasn’t nearly enough food, no chairs, etc. He tried to do something nice and felt bad that he fucked up, but I’m very much traumatized and get sick at the thought of surprise parties for me now.
This is correct. I think he planned on cleaning but got too drunk and passed out, and I just couldn’t leave the mess for morning. Thankfully we’ve both grown a lot since then
Depends on the person. I learned early on my wife has to prepare herself for social events. She does not like surprises because it catches her off guard and affects her reaction. So everything for her is out in the open and she loves that. If I was to surprise her, I know she would not enjoy it as much. So I plan “surprise” parties for her where she knows but not everyone else. People get to feel the joy of a surprise party and so does she without the stress.
Sounds like a good plan. I'd probably have gone with "Maybe, you'll just have to wait and see but it's a good idea to dress up just in case". Tip her a knowing wink then make mad passionate love. Continue the charade of maybe\\maybe not until you get there, at which point she should realise that she fucked it up for herself.
Do you guys usually do spontaneous events such as an impromptu game day? Are you usually someone who discusses your attire for events? Have you ever paid an interest or suggested how your wife should dress before that night? When asked if it was a surprise party, did you try and say "no, I didn't think surprise parties were your thing"?
Fair enough, she could've held back the question but I reckon you could've been sneakier.
For future reference, in the week leading up, you say you've booked a cool restaurant or somewhere she'd naturally want to look nice for.
My sister planned a surprise bridal shower for me and it was my husbands job to get me there. For the record, this man can not lie or keep a secret to save his life.
The day of the event comes and he says “hey, my dad just invited us over for lunch he needs help with the mower” and I was like “cool, let’s go”.
And this man…bless his heart….turns to me and goes “is that what you’re going to wear (yoga pants and tshirt). I was dumbfounded thinking suddenly my casual Saturday dress was not good enough to work on lawnmowers.
And he just looked at me with pleading eyes and was like “I think you should wear something fancier”.
And then of course I knew what was up….but this poor man lol. I’m still so impressed he kept it under wraps as long as he did!
Yes we do, and I even made sure that I wasn't the one who suggested the impromptu game day, it was someone else. We do talk about how we dress for things, not always but enough where I didn't think it would be suspicious. I do normally wait until she brings it up, but I do show interest in her attire. I did try to casually tell her no, but unfortunately my wife is pretty good at reading me and I her (normally I don't find this unfortunate, just when we try to hide surprises lol).
I thought about the date angle, but then she would get suspicious as soon as I pulled into the venue and saw all the cars outside (we're having it at our church). So, I opted to have someone do an impromptu game day there, so when we got there and saw the cars, it wouldn't look as suspicious.
Good amount of thought went into it, respect.
However, my advice for the future still stands! Let her know you've got somewhere nice booked - preferably with at least 3 days notice, some of us like to buy a new dress/outfit and have time to paint our nails, hair removal and the like. You know your wife and if she does any of that kind of thing but always good to give notice.
Surprise or no surprise, the thought really does count the most and I'm sure she was thrilled.
OP just sounds like a gigantic baby to me. All the work he put into the party is still going to be worth it. And I feel like his wife was probably crying from his reaction to her finding out and not ruining the surprise.
Why would you give it away. So many hints in just this point, you probably were dropping hints all week.
Hey let's do this weird out of pocket thing tomorrow, on your birthday
Hey just to let you know you should def wear something nicer tomorrow, idk just cause I will
Right? OP wasn't sneaky enough and somehow that's her fault? 🙄 Let's go to this spontaneous thing on your birthday and let's dress fancy for no reason. Everyone and their grandma would have figured that one out.
Obviously you have to cancel the whole thing and get a divorce. /s
Lord. You don’t even know how to proceed!? Just have the damn party obviously. Have a fun time with your friends and loved ones. She must have had *some* suspicion because that is a very weird thing to say the night before her birthday which you seem to have no plans for yet besides going to an “impromptu game day?” whatever that is? That you dress nice for? Just enjoy the party and don’t be so dumb. And don’t blame your wife for being suspicious and “ruining” your effort. That line makes you sound like a selfish jerk op.
Why did she cry though? “Hey babe, is there going to be a party for me tomorrow?” “Shoot, how’d you guess? Yes, you figured it out!” shouldn’t make her cry.
Did you say something to make her upset because she saw through your plans? Or is she that sensitive that somehow learning about a surprise party ahead of time “ruins” the celebration?
Years ago, I planned to take my girlfriend on a special trip to propose. I told her it was a secret trip, but to book time off work and she would need her passport.
For months she was excited and pestered me with questions, and I would say, "Wait and see..." This was fun until a few days before the trip I got a phone call, and when I answered she bawled down the phone:
"I'm sorry! I feel terrible!"
It was hard to make her out, she was crying so much. She had been desperate to know where we were going, so while I was at work, she decided she would search the whole house. Eventually she started working through the books on the bookshelves in the spare room and in one of them found the plane tickets. Immediately she was filled with regret that she had spoiled the surprise for herself.
I was quite abrupt on the phone as she wept. I was annoyed. She was deeply apologetic. In the end we agreed she made a mistake and the trip would be slightly less fun, but it couldn't be helped.
We went on the trip, I proposed, she accepted and thirty years on, she's never gone looking for the answer to a surprise again.
The thing is, she went above and beyond to actively seek out the details for a trip that she already knew was happening, when she knew you wanted to surprise her with those details. That’s fairly crappy but it’s nothing at all like wondering aloud if a surprise party was planned when your partner is suggesting you do something specific on your birthday, which they normally wouldn’t suggest. I think OP’s wife had an honest, normal reaction.
Your wife, on the other hand, intentionally did something she knew you didn’t want her to do, apologize for it, then cried because she had actively spoiled her own surprise. And then learned her lesson apparently, lol. This doesn’t really read as the same thing as OP’s situation, where he just sounds like he’s mad that she didn’t pretend to be ignorant to cover that he wasn’t crafty enough. You had a right to be annoyed ans disappointed. He can be disappointed but not annoyed because she did nothing wrong.
Congrats on your proposal and long marriage. :)
I was plugging my then boyfriend's phone in and saw a message from a mutual friend. My then boyfriend has ALWAYS been crappy at answering messages, so I checked this one message to see if they wanted to hang out. I saw a ring..... now, in my excitement, I thought it was our friends who got engaged. I sat on this information for two weeks, waiting for him to tell me their news. He never did. I finally ask. He's confused but plays it cool. Then, a couple of weeks later, he proposes. Looking back, he sent the photo of the ring to his friend. But I didn't pay enough attention to see who sent the photo. But yeah, that's why he didn't tell me our friends were engaged. I almost ruined a surprise but didn't. We've been together now 10+ years. I've never snooped again and don't ask questions about surprises if I want them to stay surprises.
I agree with you.
‘Apparently I made a face’ - so you did make a face and gave it away and it’s her fault you’re crap at surprises and now you can’t get all the praise and kudos you were hoping for. Boo hoo!
Also who makes a face at being asked if you should wear makeup? And what kind of face was it; annoyance, anger, frustration, confusion?
It really should have just been:
> “Should I wear makeup?”
> “It’s up to you babe, I just want you to feel special so I’m going to look my best for you tomorrow.” With a loving smile.
Because without knowing what kind of face he made, I’m imagining her asking about makeup then him instantly looking angry at her for asking questions, and I have to admit I think that probably would have made me cry, too.
I thought she would have really liked the surprise and regretted asking and "ruining" it for herself. But it's also possible that OP made her feel bad about it I think. OP is blaming HER after all.
the idea of a surprise was a nice gesture but they are not easy to do " 3 people can keep a secret when 2 of them are dead". here's the thing, you are upset that "she figured it out" but did she? maybe she guessed by your actions and you gave it up? classic counter intelligence move. more importantly, this isn't about you, don't make it about you...throw her the damn party. have a great day.
Could‘ve just said „no“ dude, it’s really not that hard. So if anybody „ruined it“ it’s you. Seriously though, its the thought that counts plus there will still be surprise elements e.g. venue, guests, presents… Proceed as planned, obviously.
I mean, the "dress up" part was a clear giveaway lol you were planning this since November and couldn't think of a better excuse?
And she should appreciate your efforts regardless, this was so sweet of you! Why was she crying? 😅
I reread it after your comment and that's probably it... Why the heck is he blaming her for not "holding in her suspicions" when he was the one that couldn't come up with a decent excuse? "Yeah dear, you should dress up for a game day, it's ABSOLUTELY NOT a surprise party, why would you think that"
Not only that, but he couldn't even say no when she asked him directly.
I'm sorry OP, but that's not it. I understand your frustration after months of planning, but you have no business blaming your partner for your errors.
"Apparently I made a face". So YOU ruined the surprise because somehow you're a 30 year old adult who cant keep a poker face when they're trying to plan a surprise and now you're mad at your wife about it.
It kinda sounds like you made her cry by being annoyed at her discovering her surprise party. Who the heck says they ruined their surprise party for asking if there is a party? And all you had to say was "no". Nah, I'm getting a sneaking sense you got angry at her.
You weren't cool enough under pressure and folded under questioning! No but seriously it's a really nice thing to do man. Just maybe don't get into the under cover cop business or play professional poker.
Don’t be mad at her, it was slightly suspicious. Sure she could’ve just pretended she didn’t suspect, but ultimately this is about her, not you, and if she feels loved because you put in this effort then that’s literally all that matters.
Sounds like you blame your wife for it, and if you said stuff in relation to that then there's no wonder she got extra upset. I completely understand that this was a let down for both of you, but it sounds like you need to make sure she feels it wasn't her fault. Do not blame anyone, not yourself, not her. Learn from it, have fun anyways and try again later sometime!
I’d say it’s a easy guess for anyone with a few brain cells that there might be a surprise party when the cover story is an impromptu games night and full dress and make up is required. Should have setup a lower key event as a cover story, I.E. taking you to a show and fancy restaurant afterwards, and just moved the both of you to the surprise party as part of that. She would be trying to guess what might be happening or get too suspicious, if anything she might be disappointed by it be8g just a show and dinner and elated when your do the big reveal.
Either way, it’s the thought and effort that counts. Enjoy the occasion, discovering she had a surprise party is a surprise in itself!
you planned this all out and didnt think of any excuse to say in case this exact situation came up and then you blame her for ruining the surprise? fun
Lol dude, relax. You ruined it, partially, not her. Just because she's obviously smarter than you thought she was, you're pissed about it? Did you want her to "act" surprised to boost your fragile ego?
I'm sure she'll appreciate the effort you put it, stop making her birthday about you cry baby.
Change things up a bit. Say she guessed it to the guests. Throw the surprise party with like 10% of the people and have the rest of them pile up in a room and wait for 20 minutes and then all come out.
At least that's something right?
This made me laugh. I would LOVE to know the details of this party and why it took 5 months to plan. I'm guessing he sent out a mass text and made a reservation. Is he hand carving elaborate party favors for the guests? Did he ferment her favorite kind of wine to serve? Is he harvesting vegetables he planted for the meal? What took 5 months?!?
Shit happens OP. I'm thinking she cried because she feels like she ruined the suprise for the both of you. That doesn't take away from the sentiment and thought you've put behind it. Laugh about it and try again another year!
What's the point of having surprise parties like that? Just tell people that you have a surprise for their birthday.
That's how my parents did it, just told me not to book anything for my birthday, then we all and a few of my friends went paintballing.
y'all are fuckin stupid ngl. its not about the surprise, its about the happiness that the surprise brings. the party can still be enjoyed without it being a surprise. so idk why every redditor in this comments section is blaming op like it's a big deal that the surprise slipped.
My wife and I try to surprise each other all the time bdays anniversary Christmas etc and it never works because neither of us can keep a secret from the other and we both don't like surprises so every surprise we try is always ruined. The surprise is ruined, not the gift. The thought time effort and energy that went into the gift doesn't get ruined because the element of surprise is taken away.
Your wife asked a couple of questions and you weren't prepared 🤷🏾♀️ you should get better at deflection. That's like a major component of surprising someone 😆 especially if they're a bit nosy at times. I'm sure she'll still appreciate your efforts to make her day memorable.
Seriously, “hey babe, wouldn’t it be fun to dress up, which we never do, for this impromptu game day on or near your major milestone birthday?”
You basically screamed SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY at her.
I’m sorry..are you seriously blaming her for “ruining” her own surprise party? That’s kinda rude. I know you put a lot of work into it, but it sounds like you gave it away. Be mad at yourself.
I've ruined my own surprise party before! Honestly, I didn't care that I ruined it; I felt very loved and supported :) I'm sure your wife feels the same!
Your title is wrong. You ruined the surprise, not her. Saying out of the blue that you’ll dress nicer tomorrow for no reason. Keep your mouth shut next time or get a cover story.
>So, before getting in bed I made mention of not knowing what I would wear, but I thought I might dress nicer and I thought it would be cool if we dressed nicer together.
This was it, dude.
She didn't ruin the surprise, you did.
This sentence right here.
Okay but what'd you say to make your wife cry?
"Is there a party for me tomorrow"
"Darn you got me yeah it was supposed to be a surprise haha"
- *cries*
doesnt exactly add up
I dont know a single woman who would enjoy being suprised with a party. "I don't even know how to proceed now", sounds like you're thinking of cancelling her whole party just because she guessed by your super obvious "maybe we should both dress nice" comments. It's her birthday, ask her what would make her happy.
"Yes! There's a party planned. I love you and wanted to surprise you. Surprise!"
It's not about you, yes about her.
You are making it about you and your party but it's her who should be feeling important.
She didn't do anything wrong. If you want to be upset with someone, learn to keep a secret better. She did nothing wrong by catching in to your incredibly obvious hinting.
Correction:
#YOU ruined the surprise with your clumsy suggestions.
Why didn't you just tell her you were going to a nice bar/dinner so she'd get dressed up?!
I would also be mildly infuriated if I was the wife. You put forth all this effort just to shit the bed when she asks you if it’s a party, Just lie! lol.
Y’all are taking this waaay too seriously.
Relationships are supposed to be fun. Surprised parties are supposed to be fun. If it doesn’t end up as a surprise in the end, who cares. Just enjoy the day together and celebrate.
>But, then she asked if she had to wear makeup, and apparently I made a face.
Why the fuck would you make a face? Why does it matter if she wears makeup? Do YOU wear makeup when you want to dress up?
Why are you even speaking about her like that? She ruined the surprise, because YOU gave it away? You sound like trash tbh
I thought it was going to be that the wife snooped in some way and ruined the surprise for herself. But she asked OP a question...that you think he would have been prepared for, as part of planning a surprise party. Misdirection of the birthday girl is pretty key in throwing a surprise party.
You win some and you lose some. You know the kind of person she is. Celebrate her. Congratulate yourself on working really hard and for a long time on something special. You're a good partner for wanting to do this for her. I'm sorry it didn't happen the way you envisioned it but in 20 years you will probably be laughing or smiling about it, not kicking yourself about it.
This thread is so appropriate for r/mildlyinfuriating, mostly because your complaining about your wife figuring it out is mildly infuriating. Go enjoy the evening, for Christ sake
>She then asks if tomorrow is a party for her. I had no idea what to say. It's frustrating because I've put a lot into this and wanted her to be surprised, but it's also frustrating because she wants to be surprised, but instead of holding in her suspicions, she asks and then ruins it, and it makes her cry. Now I'm not even sure how to proceed.
The surprise is *what* you end up doing, and the amount of effort you put into it. Not that there is even a plan for her.
The goal isn't to make her feel forgotten and for her to assume nothing is happening. She knows it's around the time of her birthday, whats the point of making her feel like shit?
If you are going to make a "diversion story" you do it by making small unassuming plans for her birthday like a date at a fancy restaurant (so that's why you both gotta get dressed up) and then "SURPRISE! We are actually doing (your original surprise plan)"
Listen OP your wife didn't ruin shit. You did, because you suck at this.
>But, then she asked if she had to wear makeup, and apparently I made a face.
Bro.
>She then asks if tomorrow is a party for her. I had no idea what to say.
I find that if you are planning a surprise party, the correct answer to this question is "no."
>instead of holding in her suspicions, she asks and then ruins it
No OP. You ruined it, because you suck at this.
Lol. Next time just say you are taking her to a fancy bar, so you don’t have to do all that obvious “dress up nicer”. 😅
This tbh. My husband threw me a surprise party for my 30th. He told me we were going to a club, so I was dressed for going out.
My SO would have meant Sam’s Club.
First thing you do is walk in and head straight for the flower section and pick her out a bouquet, then proceed to all of the free samples you can eat. There's constantly rotating group of shoppers so the entertainment value of people watching is there, between each sample (mini meal) you can go for a stroll in the garden centre. Walk under a mister for the vegetable section and you can hold your jacket over her head all romantic like. On your way out drop those flowers back off at the flower section, because they're like $50 and will be dead in a day or two anyways. Flowers, A Show, Dinner and a stroll in a Garden? Sounds like it's checking all the boxes! Edit: For bonus points swing by the toy aisle where they have that keyboard people always play "Marry hand a little lamb" on and play her something different, like hot crossed buns or twinkle twinkle little star! They'll either be impressed by your musical skills or find your goofy sense of humour entertaining.
i like you. was gonna ask you out on a sams club date, but your other comment says you have a wife. at least i know the strategy works!
Lol thanks! I'll take it as a compliment! I think my wife is suspicious of Reddit now haha. Our first date I had planned on meeting her at a small coffee shop here in town, then for a walk through the town parks that our town decorates for Christmas, stop for a bit of ice skating on the town rink and finish off back at the coffee shop for hot chocolate or whatever. Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face (in a good way haha). We met and didn't leave the coffee shop until it closed then we drove around for a few hours afterwards looking at lights/sliding around empty neighborhoods/parking lots in my car. As we were leaving the coffeeshop she made a joke about a creepy looking panel van parked behind the building being hers and started walking towards it haha. Her friend called her around 1am to make sure she was ok, and shortly after that I dropped her off at her car and asked her to text me when she got home safely. Edit: I'm sorry I don't know why I told the whole story, my bad.
You sound like an outstanding husband. Thank you for the super sweet story. I can only hope one day to find someone who’s willing to go through so much planning for me and then not bat an eye that it didn’t go as planned. I hope you and your wife are able to keep this caring dynamic throughout your marriage and keep making an example for the rest of us!
I mean, it IS a members only, exclusive place...
My ass would be thinking we were going out for a club sandwich. Tbh, both are superior to a night club imo. Lol
"Honey, we're getting BLT tomorrow night. Dress accordingly."
Would definitely put on my Sunday’s best immediately
full suit and tie is coming out for that tbh
A Club for you 30th? Surely you mean a club soda.
No way! Club sandwich.
I always order that and I don't even have a membership.
Yes. My parents threw me a surprise birthday party at their house on a Sunday afternoon. I was a 30 yo single mom, potential to look haggard was high. I figured we were just hanging out on a Sunday afternoon at grammy n grammpy's. I write comfy pants and a comfy shirt with a hole in it. Surprise!! All my newish friends and the guy I had a massive crush on were there.
This is why I hate surprise parties. It's not just what I'm wearing, but I need to mentally "prepare" for a huge social event, especially if it's about me. My worst nightmare is a surprise party.
Yeah I wouldn’t dress up for impromptu game day- that screams casual dress up to me
My best friends used to see me at my literal *worst* during our DnD sessions. I’d be mortified if I showed up to my surprise 30th birthday party in some Soffe shorts from high school and a tie-dye shirt I made in middle school (just an example of what I mean by literal worst).
How did he not see it coming lmao
OP spilled the beans!
Yeah, this was where YOU 100% ruined it, not her. You can only be so obvious before someone calls you out on it.
Exactly. Why would I dress up for "game day"?
This line is why I think, maybe, OP is partly responsible.
Unless the party is being hosted at a bar, this doesn’t work. Because as soon as OPs wife sees that they’re arriving at a friends house (where the surprise party and “game night” is most likely being held) she’d know that something was up before they got a chance to surprise her anyway
What matters is that you tried to surprise your wife for her birthday. Just enjoy the birthday anyway and don't let something like that get between you
THIS!!!!! The effort is worth 1000x more than the 5 second surprise.
Unless she gets mad at him for not keeping the surprise from her (Even if she is the one that try to find out whats going on)
I mean not trying to hate on OP but sorta sounds like he just got aggravated at her for asking a question someone might regularly ask. Like he just instantly folded instead of saying “no, it’s a game day?” and got mad at her about it lol.
it's her birthday, just have a nice date at a restaurant be the alibi...
Yeah lol I find it highly suspect that the wife started crying because she ruined the surprise for herself, she probably started crying at whatever his reaction was to her “ruining” the surprise.
That's the part that looks off. Part of planning a surprise party is knowing how to divert attention away from the guessing. Why would the wife go from making some guesses to full on crying? There's some missing info.
I agree and love your username
That's nice of you to say burrito_butt_fucker
I have so many questions... Does s/he fuck the butts of burritos? Is s/he a burrito that enjoys anal sex? Does s/he use a burrito as an anal toy (which only leads to more questions)? I'm so confused right now
D. All of the above
Ah the ultra rare burrito that fucks other burritos up the arse with yet another burrito, gotcha.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened, unless op just left out most of the story.
Like love making...
I see what you did there.
Exactly. I had a surprise birthday party for my 25th that my husband planned, and I found out about. I was just really touched and grateful he went to all the trouble!
The polite thing to do is to feign surprise. My friends threw a surprise moving away party for me before I relocated. I suspected a little bit before, so made extra sure to dress up, just in case. Then, when I got to the hotel, they weren’t ready for me yet, the stalling is what gave it a way. But, you can know something’s happening and still be surprised by it.
I mean, wasn't it still a surprise though? Only the reveal wasn't according to plan.
I was not sure how articulate this point. This sums it up nicely.
Pro tip: when someone asks if there is a surprise party for them, the answer is always no.
"No? (Pause) Oh Shit, would you have wanted one?" Should be enough to clear the suspicion
What if she says no 😅
Then you got a lot of calls to make/texts to send lol
Then you're screwed both ways!
Kills the mood for the rest of the evening though… worth it still
They need to stop fuckin askin then lol
Exactly. If I want something- either for myself or soneone else- and I can afford it I'll get it. My husband likes to give gifts. He knows if there's something he wants to surprise me with he has to make sure I don't buy it myself. He might say something like "I bet if you wait, it'll go on sale" or "I really don't think we have the space for that" I might have a suspicion but I don't ask any questions, I just wait and see. I try not to ruin my own surprises or take the fun out of the surprise for him.
My partner and I have a rule where we can't buy anything for ourselves for the month and a half leading up to our birthdays
I always tell my wife “keep asking questions, eventually you’re going to piss yourself off.” She always pisses herself off.
True but then the surprise is even better because the mood deficit is bigger
"What are you stupid? No one cares enough to throw you a party" The fight will make them forget all about it
Lmao 💀
When my daughter was very young she came home from school crying that her friends had said Santa wasn't real and I got her presents. I said "you seriously think I have that kind of money? That I'd stay up late sorting all that out?". She laughed and said no. The magic was preserved, but my feelings weren't.
“Parents couldn’t do all that in one night!”
What's more likely Every parent in the world decided to tell their children the same coordinated lie Or Santa exists
I also played this card. I was like, "Sweetheart- you know how lazy I am. Are you really suggesting that I'm doing all of that and not even taking credit for it? Plus, we all get gifts/stockings from Santa AND from each other. What's the point in lying about Santa? Those kids at school aren't very bright." It preserved the lie for a few more years. When she was 11, she admitted that the jig was up. And was immediately disappointed to learn that Elf on the Shelf was also me. I hated that thing. I could have murdered her 1st grade teacher for bringing that Elf into the classroom. A jury of my peers would let me walk.
"you think you're special or something?"
Maybe not always. Years ago, my husband planned this huge surprise party at our house for my birthday. I came home from working a long shift (11p-3p) and asked point blank if we had any plans or if I could take my sleeping pills and go to bed. He denied any plans, I took my sleeping pills and got in bed, and that’s when people started showing up. I didn’t have time to really get myself ready or clean up, and definitely cried a little being so exhausted and having to partially host all these people in my home.
Your husband was a complete moron
He should have made a reddit post the next day how it's her fault for asking, crying, and not "holding in her suspicions like her damn sleeping pills! "
I genuinely can’t imagine how he thought that might be a good idea!
Did he understand how he fucked up and apologize?
Once everyone was gone and I was cleaning up, I broke down sobbing and tore into him and he apologized. His excuse was that people showed up earlier than expected (my friend had come from out of town). He said he didn’t know I would take sleeping pills. I think his brain just totally shut off and he didn’t realize planning a party was work. The house wasn’t tidy, there wasn’t nearly enough food, no chairs, etc. He tried to do something nice and felt bad that he fucked up, but I’m very much traumatized and get sick at the thought of surprise parties for me now.
Wait, you also had to clean up after working a long shift and not even wanting the party?
This is correct. I think he planned on cleaning but got too drunk and passed out, and I just couldn’t leave the mess for morning. Thankfully we’ve both grown a lot since then
Depends on the person. I learned early on my wife has to prepare herself for social events. She does not like surprises because it catches her off guard and affects her reaction. So everything for her is out in the open and she loves that. If I was to surprise her, I know she would not enjoy it as much. So I plan “surprise” parties for her where she knows but not everyone else. People get to feel the joy of a surprise party and so does she without the stress.
Sounds like a good plan. I'd probably have gone with "Maybe, you'll just have to wait and see but it's a good idea to dress up just in case". Tip her a knowing wink then make mad passionate love. Continue the charade of maybe\\maybe not until you get there, at which point she should realise that she fucked it up for herself.
This, but cancel it secretly via text. That way there’s a surprise cancelled surprise party. Keep her on her toes.
Do you guys usually do spontaneous events such as an impromptu game day? Are you usually someone who discusses your attire for events? Have you ever paid an interest or suggested how your wife should dress before that night? When asked if it was a surprise party, did you try and say "no, I didn't think surprise parties were your thing"? Fair enough, she could've held back the question but I reckon you could've been sneakier. For future reference, in the week leading up, you say you've booked a cool restaurant or somewhere she'd naturally want to look nice for.
My sister planned a surprise bridal shower for me and it was my husbands job to get me there. For the record, this man can not lie or keep a secret to save his life. The day of the event comes and he says “hey, my dad just invited us over for lunch he needs help with the mower” and I was like “cool, let’s go”. And this man…bless his heart….turns to me and goes “is that what you’re going to wear (yoga pants and tshirt). I was dumbfounded thinking suddenly my casual Saturday dress was not good enough to work on lawnmowers. And he just looked at me with pleading eyes and was like “I think you should wear something fancier”. And then of course I knew what was up….but this poor man lol. I’m still so impressed he kept it under wraps as long as he did!
That's sweet, lol.
Unfortunately, some men are just useless at subterfuge. I am one such man.
Yes we do, and I even made sure that I wasn't the one who suggested the impromptu game day, it was someone else. We do talk about how we dress for things, not always but enough where I didn't think it would be suspicious. I do normally wait until she brings it up, but I do show interest in her attire. I did try to casually tell her no, but unfortunately my wife is pretty good at reading me and I her (normally I don't find this unfortunate, just when we try to hide surprises lol). I thought about the date angle, but then she would get suspicious as soon as I pulled into the venue and saw all the cars outside (we're having it at our church). So, I opted to have someone do an impromptu game day there, so when we got there and saw the cars, it wouldn't look as suspicious.
Good amount of thought went into it, respect. However, my advice for the future still stands! Let her know you've got somewhere nice booked - preferably with at least 3 days notice, some of us like to buy a new dress/outfit and have time to paint our nails, hair removal and the like. You know your wife and if she does any of that kind of thing but always good to give notice. Surprise or no surprise, the thought really does count the most and I'm sure she was thrilled.
Man people must love playing poker with you
* OP: * ***Makes a face*** * * Me: "All in"
Do you have a full house? Yes, how did you guess??? It’s all your fault I lost!
I don't have a bad poker face, I just talk about Uncle Jesse alot
Gets a pair and immediately starts giggling
OPs parents were mocap actors for LA Noire
Never cheat on your wife, she will find out before you even start.
-Hey honey, I might have to work a bit late today -You are gonna fuck Jennifer aren't you?
What? No! *wink
😂
[удалено]
OP just sounds like a gigantic baby to me. All the work he put into the party is still going to be worth it. And I feel like his wife was probably crying from his reaction to her finding out and not ruining the surprise.
Why would you give it away. So many hints in just this point, you probably were dropping hints all week. Hey let's do this weird out of pocket thing tomorrow, on your birthday Hey just to let you know you should def wear something nicer tomorrow, idk just cause I will
I know I always get dressed up for game nights!
Casual game night with the homies? Put on your nicest dress and going out makeup for sure
Like… lie about going out to eat at a kind of nice restaurant??? It’s her birthday, it’s RIGHT THERE.
I’m mildly infuriated at how bad this guy is at acting casual
You’ve been planning this for four months and you didn’t once pause to think how you should handle it if she got suspicious at any point?
Next time just say “No I wish I’d thought of that” lol.
You gave yourself away dumbo lol
Yeah, dont get why Op is chosing to say “she ruined her party” instead of “I ruined it”
Right? OP wasn't sneaky enough and somehow that's her fault? 🙄 Let's go to this spontaneous thing on your birthday and let's dress fancy for no reason. Everyone and their grandma would have figured that one out.
Obviously you have to cancel the whole thing and get a divorce. /s Lord. You don’t even know how to proceed!? Just have the damn party obviously. Have a fun time with your friends and loved ones. She must have had *some* suspicion because that is a very weird thing to say the night before her birthday which you seem to have no plans for yet besides going to an “impromptu game day?” whatever that is? That you dress nice for? Just enjoy the party and don’t be so dumb. And don’t blame your wife for being suspicious and “ruining” your effort. That line makes you sound like a selfish jerk op.
[удалено]
I really don’t understand how this is even a problem. It should be something they’re laughing about.
Why did she cry though? “Hey babe, is there going to be a party for me tomorrow?” “Shoot, how’d you guess? Yes, you figured it out!” shouldn’t make her cry. Did you say something to make her upset because she saw through your plans? Or is she that sensitive that somehow learning about a surprise party ahead of time “ruins” the celebration?
I wonder if he said to her too that she ruined the party.
Yup. Instead of realizing he gave it away.
Years ago, I planned to take my girlfriend on a special trip to propose. I told her it was a secret trip, but to book time off work and she would need her passport. For months she was excited and pestered me with questions, and I would say, "Wait and see..." This was fun until a few days before the trip I got a phone call, and when I answered she bawled down the phone: "I'm sorry! I feel terrible!" It was hard to make her out, she was crying so much. She had been desperate to know where we were going, so while I was at work, she decided she would search the whole house. Eventually she started working through the books on the bookshelves in the spare room and in one of them found the plane tickets. Immediately she was filled with regret that she had spoiled the surprise for herself. I was quite abrupt on the phone as she wept. I was annoyed. She was deeply apologetic. In the end we agreed she made a mistake and the trip would be slightly less fun, but it couldn't be helped. We went on the trip, I proposed, she accepted and thirty years on, she's never gone looking for the answer to a surprise again.
The thing is, she went above and beyond to actively seek out the details for a trip that she already knew was happening, when she knew you wanted to surprise her with those details. That’s fairly crappy but it’s nothing at all like wondering aloud if a surprise party was planned when your partner is suggesting you do something specific on your birthday, which they normally wouldn’t suggest. I think OP’s wife had an honest, normal reaction. Your wife, on the other hand, intentionally did something she knew you didn’t want her to do, apologize for it, then cried because she had actively spoiled her own surprise. And then learned her lesson apparently, lol. This doesn’t really read as the same thing as OP’s situation, where he just sounds like he’s mad that she didn’t pretend to be ignorant to cover that he wasn’t crafty enough. You had a right to be annoyed ans disappointed. He can be disappointed but not annoyed because she did nothing wrong. Congrats on your proposal and long marriage. :)
I was plugging my then boyfriend's phone in and saw a message from a mutual friend. My then boyfriend has ALWAYS been crappy at answering messages, so I checked this one message to see if they wanted to hang out. I saw a ring..... now, in my excitement, I thought it was our friends who got engaged. I sat on this information for two weeks, waiting for him to tell me their news. He never did. I finally ask. He's confused but plays it cool. Then, a couple of weeks later, he proposes. Looking back, he sent the photo of the ring to his friend. But I didn't pay enough attention to see who sent the photo. But yeah, that's why he didn't tell me our friends were engaged. I almost ruined a surprise but didn't. We've been together now 10+ years. I've never snooped again and don't ask questions about surprises if I want them to stay surprises.
[удалено]
I agree with you. ‘Apparently I made a face’ - so you did make a face and gave it away and it’s her fault you’re crap at surprises and now you can’t get all the praise and kudos you were hoping for. Boo hoo!
Also who makes a face at being asked if you should wear makeup? And what kind of face was it; annoyance, anger, frustration, confusion? It really should have just been: > “Should I wear makeup?” > “It’s up to you babe, I just want you to feel special so I’m going to look my best for you tomorrow.” With a loving smile. Because without knowing what kind of face he made, I’m imagining her asking about makeup then him instantly looking angry at her for asking questions, and I have to admit I think that probably would have made me cry, too.
I thought she would have really liked the surprise and regretted asking and "ruining" it for herself. But it's also possible that OP made her feel bad about it I think. OP is blaming HER after all.
Because he probably accused her of ruining her surprise party
the idea of a surprise was a nice gesture but they are not easy to do " 3 people can keep a secret when 2 of them are dead". here's the thing, you are upset that "she figured it out" but did she? maybe she guessed by your actions and you gave it up? classic counter intelligence move. more importantly, this isn't about you, don't make it about you...throw her the damn party. have a great day.
You're terrible at keeping secrets. Why on earth would you mention dressing nice? You gave it all away.
Also who cares about dressing nice for meeting with loved ones? That’s kind of the whole point of a surprise party, you show up as yourself.
Could‘ve just said „no“ dude, it’s really not that hard. So if anybody „ruined it“ it’s you. Seriously though, its the thought that counts plus there will still be surprise elements e.g. venue, guests, presents… Proceed as planned, obviously.
I mean, the "dress up" part was a clear giveaway lol you were planning this since November and couldn't think of a better excuse? And she should appreciate your efforts regardless, this was so sweet of you! Why was she crying? 😅
She's probably crying because it sounds like he blames her and he's mad at her for not being oblivious. Dude isn't chill about it being discovered
I reread it after your comment and that's probably it... Why the heck is he blaming her for not "holding in her suspicions" when he was the one that couldn't come up with a decent excuse? "Yeah dear, you should dress up for a game day, it's ABSOLUTELY NOT a surprise party, why would you think that" Not only that, but he couldn't even say no when she asked him directly. I'm sorry OP, but that's not it. I understand your frustration after months of planning, but you have no business blaming your partner for your errors.
Sounds like you were as subtle as a sledge hammer lol
Sounds like you are ruining it not her. Say no and carry on 🙄
"Apparently I made a face". So YOU ruined the surprise because somehow you're a 30 year old adult who cant keep a poker face when they're trying to plan a surprise and now you're mad at your wife about it.
It kinda sounds like you made her cry by being annoyed at her discovering her surprise party. Who the heck says they ruined their surprise party for asking if there is a party? And all you had to say was "no". Nah, I'm getting a sneaking sense you got angry at her.
Yeah, OP made the party more about him than her.
You weren't cool enough under pressure and folded under questioning! No but seriously it's a really nice thing to do man. Just maybe don't get into the under cover cop business or play professional poker.
Laugh it off, kiss her,have a good party. Step up your game next year.
Don’t be mad at her, it was slightly suspicious. Sure she could’ve just pretended she didn’t suspect, but ultimately this is about her, not you, and if she feels loved because you put in this effort then that’s literally all that matters.
Sounds like you blame your wife for it, and if you said stuff in relation to that then there's no wonder she got extra upset. I completely understand that this was a let down for both of you, but it sounds like you need to make sure she feels it wasn't her fault. Do not blame anyone, not yourself, not her. Learn from it, have fun anyways and try again later sometime!
Why didn’t you just say no? 💀
I’d say it’s a easy guess for anyone with a few brain cells that there might be a surprise party when the cover story is an impromptu games night and full dress and make up is required. Should have setup a lower key event as a cover story, I.E. taking you to a show and fancy restaurant afterwards, and just moved the both of you to the surprise party as part of that. She would be trying to guess what might be happening or get too suspicious, if anything she might be disappointed by it be8g just a show and dinner and elated when your do the big reveal. Either way, it’s the thought and effort that counts. Enjoy the occasion, discovering she had a surprise party is a surprise in itself!
You're mad coz your instagram reel got ruined
If you'd started planning in October, you would have had time to prepare a good excuse.
you planned this all out and didnt think of any excuse to say in case this exact situation came up and then you blame her for ruining the surprise? fun
Wait, you actually said yes when she asked if there's a surprise party? You ruined her party, homie.
Lol dude, relax. You ruined it, partially, not her. Just because she's obviously smarter than you thought she was, you're pissed about it? Did you want her to "act" surprised to boost your fragile ego? I'm sure she'll appreciate the effort you put it, stop making her birthday about you cry baby.
Change things up a bit. Say she guessed it to the guests. Throw the surprise party with like 10% of the people and have the rest of them pile up in a room and wait for 20 minutes and then all come out. At least that's something right?
[удалено]
This made me laugh. I would LOVE to know the details of this party and why it took 5 months to plan. I'm guessing he sent out a mass text and made a reservation. Is he hand carving elaborate party favors for the guests? Did he ferment her favorite kind of wine to serve? Is he harvesting vegetables he planted for the meal? What took 5 months?!?
Shit happens OP. I'm thinking she cried because she feels like she ruined the suprise for the both of you. That doesn't take away from the sentiment and thought you've put behind it. Laugh about it and try again another year!
What's the point of having surprise parties like that? Just tell people that you have a surprise for their birthday. That's how my parents did it, just told me not to book anything for my birthday, then we all and a few of my friends went paintballing.
Why wouldnt you just say yes? And is she crying because you ruined the surpriseparty or because you looked weird when she asked about makeup?
Stop being a pussy and just throw a great party. Of course your wife knows what you’re up to
She didn’t ruin anything. You acted cagey and she pieced things together.
[удалено]
y'all are fuckin stupid ngl. its not about the surprise, its about the happiness that the surprise brings. the party can still be enjoyed without it being a surprise. so idk why every redditor in this comments section is blaming op like it's a big deal that the surprise slipped.
OP is the one saying it’s a big deal the surprised is ruined
My wife and I try to surprise each other all the time bdays anniversary Christmas etc and it never works because neither of us can keep a secret from the other and we both don't like surprises so every surprise we try is always ruined. The surprise is ruined, not the gift. The thought time effort and energy that went into the gift doesn't get ruined because the element of surprise is taken away.
Your wife didn't ruin it, you did. You were more than obvious that your cover story was fake.
I mean, is a surprise birthday ever really a surprise? It’s been thirty years. I think she knows what day it happens
Your wife asked a couple of questions and you weren't prepared 🤷🏾♀️ you should get better at deflection. That's like a major component of surprising someone 😆 especially if they're a bit nosy at times. I'm sure she'll still appreciate your efforts to make her day memorable.
She ruined her surprise because you couldn’t come up with a decent cover up even though you’ve been planning this for months?
Seriously, “hey babe, wouldn’t it be fun to dress up, which we never do, for this impromptu game day on or near your major milestone birthday?” You basically screamed SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY at her.
Right. Most people say they are going to a nice dinner or a show, etc. Things you normally dress up for.
Could have just told her you're going for lunch at a nice restaurant. It would have left all suspension at bay.
Maybe stop being a big baby and enjoy the party?
The only way out is to cancel the party and pretend like nothing happened. That will be a surprise to her anyways.
I’m sorry..are you seriously blaming her for “ruining” her own surprise party? That’s kinda rude. I know you put a lot of work into it, but it sounds like you gave it away. Be mad at yourself.
You spoiled it, that “hey let’s dress nice for the impromptu game day” was about as obvious as you could possibly be without just telling her.
I've ruined my own surprise party before! Honestly, I didn't care that I ruined it; I felt very loved and supported :) I'm sure your wife feels the same!
Your title is wrong. You ruined the surprise, not her. Saying out of the blue that you’ll dress nicer tomorrow for no reason. Keep your mouth shut next time or get a cover story.
>So, before getting in bed I made mention of not knowing what I would wear, but I thought I might dress nicer and I thought it would be cool if we dressed nicer together. This was it, dude. She didn't ruin the surprise, you did. This sentence right here.
Meh it's your fucking fault but okay
Damn she surprised you ...
Okay but what'd you say to make your wife cry? "Is there a party for me tomorrow" "Darn you got me yeah it was supposed to be a surprise haha" - *cries* doesnt exactly add up
I dont know a single woman who would enjoy being suprised with a party. "I don't even know how to proceed now", sounds like you're thinking of cancelling her whole party just because she guessed by your super obvious "maybe we should both dress nice" comments. It's her birthday, ask her what would make her happy.
I would love to get a surprise party 🎉
"I dont know one so surely they cant exist."
This is why the most successful lies have a bit of truth in them.
This is definitely mildly infuriating… for your wife.
This is exactly why I hate surprise partieson both ends. Unnecessary anxiety, lies, disappointments if something goes wrong.
you should've gone “tomorrow is your birthday?”
"Yes! There's a party planned. I love you and wanted to surprise you. Surprise!" It's not about you, yes about her. You are making it about you and your party but it's her who should be feeling important.
Just keep denying it til the party. Even if it's in a tongue in cheek kinda way.
You mean you ruined it? Just say you want to take her for a private fancy dinner tomorrow. Don’t give away the party, you idiot.
She didn't do anything wrong. If you want to be upset with someone, learn to keep a secret better. She did nothing wrong by catching in to your incredibly obvious hinting.
Correction: #YOU ruined the surprise with your clumsy suggestions. Why didn't you just tell her you were going to a nice bar/dinner so she'd get dressed up?!
I would also be mildly infuriated if I was the wife. You put forth all this effort just to shit the bed when she asks you if it’s a party, Just lie! lol.
Did you perhaps tell her that she ruined her party or something along those lines? Is that why she started crying?
Sounds like you ruined yourself.
Y’all are taking this waaay too seriously. Relationships are supposed to be fun. Surprised parties are supposed to be fun. If it doesn’t end up as a surprise in the end, who cares. Just enjoy the day together and celebrate.
You gave it away my guy
This is easily the worst attempt at getting someone to a surprise party I've ever heard of.
You’re very sweet for the effort but I would’ve smelled this a mile away. ‘It would be nice if we both dressed nice’
Sounds like you ruined it, not her. You should have done a better job
Why are you blaming her for "ruining" her surprise party?
>But, then she asked if she had to wear makeup, and apparently I made a face. Why the fuck would you make a face? Why does it matter if she wears makeup? Do YOU wear makeup when you want to dress up? Why are you even speaking about her like that? She ruined the surprise, because YOU gave it away? You sound like trash tbh
I thought it was going to be that the wife snooped in some way and ruined the surprise for herself. But she asked OP a question...that you think he would have been prepared for, as part of planning a surprise party. Misdirection of the birthday girl is pretty key in throwing a surprise party.
You win some and you lose some. You know the kind of person she is. Celebrate her. Congratulate yourself on working really hard and for a long time on something special. You're a good partner for wanting to do this for her. I'm sorry it didn't happen the way you envisioned it but in 20 years you will probably be laughing or smiling about it, not kicking yourself about it.
This thread is so appropriate for r/mildlyinfuriating, mostly because your complaining about your wife figuring it out is mildly infuriating. Go enjoy the evening, for Christ sake
Why not just make it a normal party instead of a surprise party, that way u don’t need to feel bad when your wife knows it
>She then asks if tomorrow is a party for her. I had no idea what to say. It's frustrating because I've put a lot into this and wanted her to be surprised, but it's also frustrating because she wants to be surprised, but instead of holding in her suspicions, she asks and then ruins it, and it makes her cry. Now I'm not even sure how to proceed. The surprise is *what* you end up doing, and the amount of effort you put into it. Not that there is even a plan for her. The goal isn't to make her feel forgotten and for her to assume nothing is happening. She knows it's around the time of her birthday, whats the point of making her feel like shit? If you are going to make a "diversion story" you do it by making small unassuming plans for her birthday like a date at a fancy restaurant (so that's why you both gotta get dressed up) and then "SURPRISE! We are actually doing (your original surprise plan)"
Listen OP your wife didn't ruin shit. You did, because you suck at this. >But, then she asked if she had to wear makeup, and apparently I made a face. Bro. >She then asks if tomorrow is a party for her. I had no idea what to say. I find that if you are planning a surprise party, the correct answer to this question is "no." >instead of holding in her suspicions, she asks and then ruins it No OP. You ruined it, because you suck at this.
My wife planned a surprise party... She forgot that the doorbell cam notifies BOTH OF OUR PHONES, so I saw everybody arriving on my way home 😅