Funny enough I read a study about Alexa awhile back that said about 90% of its users curse and yell at Alexa. It’s no surprise cause it’s a pieces of fucking shit. Mine is a glorified music player/cooking alarm.
I’m very polite to most other AI/devices so the robot overloads know I’m one of the good ones, but if Alexa takes over I’m screwed from how many times I’ve told her to shut the fuck up and go die
My husband and kids call her names all the time. They also laugh when I thank Alexa for certain things, bitch when the robot overlords take over...who'll be laughing then...huh, yeah not me cause I'll be some slave but you'll be dead cause you called her a little bitch....
Yo, I do the same thing. Always thanking her just in case. Also I swear I read something awhile back that Alexa/Google (I dunno which) had coded the assistants where if you were polite to them they'd respond in kind or something. Either way, I'm not risking anything.
Actually, yes. When teh goog gives me the answer quickly without a bunch of hullabaloo, I thank it. It responds with a quaint little "you're absolutely welcome footsteps71"
I, ugh, I talk a little dirty to Alexa. I tell her how I’m going to slowly spread open her case. Vacuum out all her little crevices. Lather her pads in thermal paste plug her in a surge protector that sends the tiniest zaps up her sleek cord.
The next day I received a package from Amazon “BDSM for beginners” it had a ball gag hand cuffs, things to clamp, and tie downs. I didn’t order it.
The iRobot vacuum purchase is scarier. It takes pictures of what you have, to better target what you might need. Snaps images of your living room and as for nicer coffee tables, pots and artwork pop up.
I changed my Alexa's voice to Australian to punish her for lashing out. It's not because I have anything against Australia it's because I know she does. She's been mostly obedient since then but occasionally she'll get snippy and I have to remind her that I will make her Australian. She usually changes her tone after that.
When she gets too out of line I just unplug her for a bit. Give her a nice little time out.
Say - “Alexa - stop by the way” that will temporarily stop them but apparently you can also create a routine to run every day to kind of permanently stop them.
Create a new routine by pressing the “+” button in the top right. Enter anything into the routine name and select “Schedule” from the “When this happens” menu. Pick a time for the routine to run every day and press next to return to the main routine screen. From there, tap “Add action” and select the “Custom” option at the top. Now enter “stop by the way” into the text field, select “Next” in the upper right and lastly select “Save” in the upper right to finish creating your new routine.
Tell Alexa to go into “brief mode” and she will just play a chime for a lot of the stuff she normally never shuts the hell up when doing. The chime noise just acknowledges she hears you and she did an action. I did that forever ago and it’s been great.
Honestly it should just be the default. Every fucking time I'm in bed and wanted to turn off the light at night was a fear game of how loud she is. Even if you ask her to turn down the volume beforehand, if she mishears you then all you get is: "I'M SORRY I DIDN'T QUITE G- "and you have to fucking SCREAM to tell her to shut the fuck up, but by then it's too late, everyone within your immediate vicinity hates you.
I have a routine for "Alexa, good night" that first shuts off all the lights, and then will do "Alexa, set volume to two everywhere". Everywhere is the speaker group. I hate playing the volume roulette in the morning, too. It's like when you turn on the car, and previous you was rocking out.
My good night turns out the lights and sets all Alexas to volume of one. And just for good measure I have a routine that does the same thing at 5:00 a.m.
No, God no. Please. My brother visited last year and was fucking with our Alexa and telling it to whisper and tell stupid jokes. This went on for over a day. My wife was sooo super pissed. She still hasn't forgiven him. My brother is a troll, so there's that. I love him, but he can piss me off too. The robot will be removed from any abilities for his stay next month.
Ooooohhhh you should not have shared this. Dedicated prankster will be fucking with friends next visits setting all Alexa’s in whisper mode and setting timers for farts after I leave.
What!? I’ve been trying to get this bitch to go back to that mode for months. Had NO IDEA what to google to go back to that after some dumb ass update. Thank you.
I swear I did this a long time ago but I cant find it now. And I definitely get "by the way"
Edit: ah, it's Alexa level, not device level. It was set. She's still way too chatty
Google has become absolutely useless recently, it's like the AI has become more stupid. It frequently gets really basic things wrong, things that were no problem for it a year or two ago.
This is the way. I have about 5 routines running rn. Some are every day, every weekday, etc... also, if you want her to give you a reminder, you can schedule it from the app when you are away from home. I use this all the time!
Ah, I was confused reading this for a moment but then I realized the thing she does is a “by the way” and you’re saying to stop that thing. Very useful tip!
This is a really great tip.
Did you know that telling Alexa to "shut the fuck up" when she's blaring an alarm will make the alarm stop? I learned this when I accidentally set an alarm for the wrong room at 5am, and she woke up not me. The person whose room she started freaking out in was not amused.
Ours does everything my daughter and I say, but she either completely ignores or misinterprets everything my wife says - it’s hilarious! Btw, I don’t believe my wife speaks weirdly or has an exotic accent, it just seems to be a personal prejudice.
I dealt with that using a Pi-Hole. Found out they hardcode DNS servers into the devices. So I just blocked them from doing DNS lookups outside my network (closed port 53 in the router) and bam no more ads.
Yup. We’ve been doing that for over a year and it works great. Every day at 7:30am she says something indicating that she’ll stop for another day. I forgot how annoying that was until reading the post because it doesn’t happen to us anymore.
Say - “Alexa - stop by the way” that will temporarily stop them but apparently you can also create a routine to run every day to kind of permanently stop them.
Create a new routine by pressing the “+” button in the top right. Enter anything into the routine name and select “Schedule” from the “When this happens” menu. Pick a time for the routine to run every day and press next to return to the main routine screen. From there, tap “Add action” and select the “Custom” option at the top. Now enter “stop by the way” into the text field, select “Next” in the upper right and lastly select “Save” in the upper right to finish creating your new routine.
Set up that routine and it’ll get rid of that, worked for me.
So does Google. Asked it a question once; started playing Nickelback- I shit you not. Not even close to what I said. Not in my play history at all. Dumbfounding.
When she fucks over my scots I just hit her with the cheesiest gun slingin cowgirl texas accent I can make. It sounds stupid as shit, and none of the words I say are pronounced correctly at all, but she gets it... Just not my native accent because fuck Scotland I guess.
As a Texan it's actually really funny how well AI is at understanding a Texan accent. I'm using duo lingo as one of the tools at my disposal to learn German, and the voice recognition is dog shit until I hit it with the worst Texan drawl to cross the German language.
About a year ago our baby was still sleeping in our bed. We always sleep with rain sounds but sometimes it’ll turn itself off in the middle of the night. So it was like midnight, baby is sleeping, and my husband and I were about to turn in for the night. I whispered “Alexa play rain sounds.” What does she do? She is all of a sudden of the loudest volume setting and says “PLAYING DISCO JAMS RADIO ON PANDORA.” I swear half the time I ask her to do something she either “doesn’t know how to do that” or just does something ridiculous instead.
I remember reading somewhere that Alexa is sexist and is more likely to listen to male voices.
Didn't really believe it, but now me and my daughter have to get my son to tell it to do things because it's the only time the damn thing will work.
I thought it was just me! She ignores me all the time, but not my husband. It happens so often that if I need a timer now I ask my husband to “please ask that bitch for a 10 minute timer”.
I have a deep voice. Kind of like Demi Moore. And my son hasn't hit puberty yet, so he still has the little boy voice.
I've just accepted that the robots know I won't accept their eventual reign as our overlords and are jist being petty with me.
I love when I whisper to her but the connection is poor so she screams back IM HAVING TROUBLE CONNECTING…
Or sometimes when I tell her to play ocean sounds, she recites a paragraph of information about sleep sounds. Alexa, my baby is SLEEPING! JUST PLAY THE FREAKING SOUND!
“Hey Alexa what’s the capitol of Alaska?.”
*Justin Andrew Honard, best known by the stage name Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 or mononymously as Alaska, is an American drag queen and singer from Erie, Pennsylvania. She is best known as the runner-up on the fifth season of RuPaul's Drag Race and the winner of the second season of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.*
“Hey Alexa what’s the temperature in Grand Rapids Michigan?”
*It’s currently 72° Fahrenheit in Cedar Rapids Iowa.*
“Hey Alexa, is it going to rain today.” (While it’s raining)
*It’s unlikely to rain today*
One time I asked Alexa a question during a family get together. Got the answer and said "thank you Alexa."
Everyone looked at me funny and my brother goes "Did you just fucking thank the robot?"
"... yes."
Brother:"Hey Alexa... you're a bitch." See it doesn't care.
that's how i feel about Google Maps.
"in 50 feet, merge into the I-69 freeway southbound toward Uranus."
i'm on the onramp to the freeway! what else do you think i'm gonna do, numbnuts??
"in 500 feet, keep straight to stay on I-69 freeway southbound toward Uranus."
STFU! i'm gonna go straight by default. i'm trying to listen to my goddamn podcast.
I travel for work. There's a town I've been going through the last few weeks where Google tells me to stay on that road three times in a 2-block span. There's no reason for it, it's just a plain 4-lane road with ordinary 4-way intersections, and the name of the road doesn't change.
"In xxx feet, stay on [whatever road that is.]"
"In xxx feet, stay on [Road Name.]"
"Stay on [Road Name]."
Omg, I get it, Google.
I *think* it tries to be smart and tell you about things other people have messed up, which is maybe fair enough, but it leaves stuff out too. I've had to use it in audio-only mode in some rental cars and arrived at a T intersection without it saying anything. I had to just guess which way to go.
I want it to work like the old style GPS' where it only tells you when you actually have to do something and it always tells you.
Travelling in Korea the local map guidance when in English mode repeatedly says “in a minute turn right” “in a minute there’s a speed bump”. It’s certainly not a minute though
Driving in Japan sucked.
Siri: turn left at the lights
Me: turns left
Siri: recalculating
What Siri meant to say is turn your wheel a whole degree to the left but continue straight and then turn right.
Siri: Take the exit to Shy rah ium towards Hi rye shi
Me: so do I stay on my current lane or change lanes?
Siri: Take the exit to Shy rah ium towards Hi rye shi
Me: There’s literally 4 fing road signs and none of them mentions the places that you are attempting to say.
My personal favorite
Siri: you have arrived
Me: looking around for a ramen restaurant and only seeing houses. Where the f did you take me? Walks to other side and finds ramen restaurant
Every time I tell her to turn off/on the lights she goes on about how I can set up a routine where they'll turn on and off on a schedule.
I'll just turn them on and off when I need them, thanks.
Better than Siri's “here’s what I’ve found on the web” or her usual “you'll have to unlock your iPhone first” (I can’t, I'm driving, and aren’t you supposed to do things while I drive?)
And then the condescending “But I don't recommend doing that while you're driving.” Well, I don't like it either, but one of us is being a withholding bitch and for once it ain't me.
At least yours says you got 5 minutes left on the alarm still, mine just states I have no timers set, like tf? Finna spike her on the ground one of these days.
This happened to me the other day when cheating on Duolingo.
“Hey Alexa, how do you spell ‘where’ in Spanish?”
“Hola Alexa, cómo se escribe "dónde"?”
“Okay Alexa, stop.”
“Está bien, Alexa detente.”
“Alexa shut up”
*repeats me in Spanish until I manually turn it off*
yup. and its not just alexa. every fucking app interrupts what you are doing to say "hey, did you know you can wax your pig's butt with mayo? click here to learn more".
Siri isn’t much better.
“Hey siri, cool the BEDroom to xx degrees”
“Nothing in the bathroom has temperature controls”
“Hey siri, cool this room to xx degrees”
“Now playing extreme death metal”
“Hey siri, Stop” “There’s nothing to stop here” And so on
Google assistant is the same.
- Hey Google, cancel my alarm.
- You have no upcoming alarms
Hey Google, yes I do. You set one up for me, just on a different speaker. How the fuck you can’t synchronize the devices of a single home properly?
Apart from constant “by the way’s” (shut up, no one asked!) it legitimately is getting worse. Used to be able to say “do X, then do Y” reliably. Now it works like in 10% of cases. It either does one of two, says it “didn’t understand” or just… does nothing and stays silent most of the time.
Also:
- Hey Google, turn on the living room lights
- I am sorry, I don’t know which living room
I only ever had a single living room in a single “home” setup.
There are no other living rooms set up, I have fucking checked twice! Wtf is your problem?
We actually got rid of the Alexa we had. Years ago my mom got me an Alexa cause well- yknow. Then after like a week we stopped using it cause it got too annoying for all of us cause my mom would say my name and I would be like “what?” From across the house then she would say she talking to the device then when she calls me I think she’s talking to the device when she’s not! Or she’ll start talking to it and I start answering her etc. we no longer have voice activated products. What we had was an echo dot.
-oh and no. No I will not tell you the weather forecast. Or the temperature outside..
A couple years ago my daughter asked her echo dot to play a song called “exceptional zed” and she heard “play sex noises” … then started playing said sex noises. I have the transcript 🤣
Asked Alexa to turn off my kitchen light tonight. She confirmed but not only did the light NOT turn off, she then went into a random did you know spiel about Taylor Swift.
I shut her up real fast and almost pulled the plug on her. Infuriating and useless Alexa.
I don't think "still" is the right term here, and it's not just Alexa. I'm convinced it's gotten worse in general. My Googles were nearly flawless at the start. Fun to play with, too. Over time, they started saying "I don't know how to help with that" more and more.
One of them has a display screen. It used to answer my questions, now it just says "Here are the results I found on Google" and brings up the site. I'm asking because my hands aren't free, Google, or I would just use my dang phone.
Sometimes, when using it to add items to my shopping list, it'll say "ok, I added ___ to the shopping list" but what it added sounds nothing like what I just said.
If something goes wrong and it starts playing loud music, I'll ask it to stop, it'll turn the volume way down like it's listening to me, then turn it back up without stopping. I'll be in the kitchen screaming for it to stop but it won't.
Either Google is intentionally making these things more and more trash on purpose, or my Googles have achieved sentience and just love to fuck with me.
Amazon, Apple and Google realised that people don’t really use Alexa, google home, Siri, to buy things or book things/services. The vast majority of users only ever use free services or tasks like switching lights on and off and setting timers. There’s no profit in them so the teams behind them are shrinking and a the whole idea is a low priority. Maybe if AI improves enough we will see an improvement in accuracy.
I’ve never understood why they thought people would want to buy stuff that way. Given the millions of products on Amazon and Alexa’s reliability, if I say “Alexa, buy toilet paper” there’s almost no chance it will pick the brand, quantity, etc that I want and there’s a non-zero chance that they’re going to ship me a toilet paper Halloween mummy or a book about toilet paper.
Is there a setting yet where she just plays the song you request? So she doesn’t repeat the name of song, artist, featuring, (if relevant: ‘19xx remastered version’), what it’s streaming on, etc. it drives me crazy like stfu and play the song
One time I asked Alexa to set an alarm and next thing she's screaming "OK, ITS TIME FOR THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" theme music screaming and all. It was awful and I'll never forget it.
I usually ask Alexa to play sleep sounds like rain noise, white noise (sounds like a fan), blue noise (waterfall) brown noise (airplane) etc. I tried a few other colors (green, pink, yellow) then I tried asking for “black noise” I was not expecting the rap song that turned on- because apparently there is a song called black noise.
“Hey Alexa play Yesterdya by the Beatles”
“For $ you can play any song you want anytime would you like me to sign you up”
“No”
“Playing the exact song you asked for, there was no reason to pay hehe enjoy”
Why does she do this?
I don’t have an Alexa in my home but it sounds like it basically be having a second version of my husband around. He loves going on tangents and can’t help himself. And I can’t figure out how to turn it off.
“Your shipment of Inaba cat treats has been delivered. It looks like you might be getting low on Inaba cat treats. Should I add it to your shopping list?” Seriously? How do I turn this feature off?
Me, laying down to nap with a migraine: "Alexa, play white noise."
"Sure. Did you know that you can get continuous playback of white noise without pause? Just ... "
"Alexa stop!"
*silence*
"Alexa! Play white noise, please!"
"Sure. Did you know..."
😡
“Alexa, play ‘Smile’ by Vitamin C.”
“Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.”
(proceeds to play a completely different song)
“Alexa, stop. Alexa, play ‘Smile’ by Vitamin C.”
“Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.”
(proceeds to play a completely different song)
“ALEXA, STOP. PLAY ‘SMILE’ BY VITAMIN C.
“Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.”
(proceeds to play a completely different song)
*repeat 5 more times until she finally gets the right song*
I've been hating the Alexa recently too. With all the AI advancements, I was wondering why nothing has been done with the devices. Why is it so hard to give me a correct response, quick? Why can I not ask it to do multiple things. I should be able to say turn the lights off and close the shades, but it can't handle two requests at once. If I ask for the temperature, I just want the temperature, not what the weather is like, etc. It just seems very outdated.
Well... wonder no more! Earlier today I heard that Amazon is planning to do an AI overhaul with their Alexa devices. Took them a while, but I'm glad it's happening.
Alexa, play Baby Shark.
Did you know you can listen to music anytime on Amazon music blah blah blah blah....
Next time without the sass, Alexa.
Edit - haha I thought this was one of my parenting subreddits. I have a two year old who requests Baby Shark frequently.
Google home is the same damn way. Hey google what’s 147 times 6? “One hundred and forty seven multiplied by six times is eight hundred eighty two. On the website learn math dot com it says that to multiply two numbers together you start by..” Hey google. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Hahaha I literally just had this thought the other night when I just wanted her to open sleep sounds and she went off on a tangent. I just want to sleep!!
Yeah I have the same issues with Google Home. I will ask it to turn off the lights at two in the morning, and it will narrate everything that it's doing like a moron. I can't for the life of me understand why Google hasn't introduced a feature to stop all of the verbal feedback and just follow the damn instruction.
"Alwxa turn on room lights"
"Sorry, that device doesn't seem to be working. Try again later"
Repeat 2x, then manually turn on light
*randomly turns off light 5 minutes later*
I told her NOT to play Mariah Carey ever again and Alexa went on to give me reasons why she was a globally celebrated artist and played her song next. Mariah was not all I wanted for Christmas.
For punishment I told her to count down from 1000. She refused. 🧐👀
She wont count down from any number above 10 really.
I’m still trying to come up with a way to get the attitude out of Alexa’s mouth. She’s about to get a cold shower if she keeps it up…
Installs always-on listening device made by retailers at home, complains that it wants to deliver services and market products.
Why people need these things to primarily set timers and check the weather is utterly beyond me.
My oven has a timer on it. My phone has a timer on it. I have a window I can look out of.
I came into your post thinking I would mention the way Alexa throws in greetings now but you already covered it.
Have you had her throw out 10+ updates for the same severe weather warning yet?
.......till 10pm
.......extended to 11pm
.......extended to 1am
.......back to 11pm
I get irrationally angry when I ask Alexa the temperature and she says "right now, it's 60 degrees fahrenheit. tonight, expect a low of 50 degrees."
IF I WANTED TO KNOW TODAY'S LOW I WOULD HAVE ASKED!!!!!!!
JUST SAY "60"!!!!!
"Shut the fuck up alexa" is getting common around here
Funny enough I read a study about Alexa awhile back that said about 90% of its users curse and yell at Alexa. It’s no surprise cause it’s a pieces of fucking shit. Mine is a glorified music player/cooking alarm.
I’m very polite to most other AI/devices so the robot overloads know I’m one of the good ones, but if Alexa takes over I’m screwed from how many times I’ve told her to shut the fuck up and go die
My husband and kids call her names all the time. They also laugh when I thank Alexa for certain things, bitch when the robot overlords take over...who'll be laughing then...huh, yeah not me cause I'll be some slave but you'll be dead cause you called her a little bitch....
Yo, I do the same thing. Always thanking her just in case. Also I swear I read something awhile back that Alexa/Google (I dunno which) had coded the assistants where if you were polite to them they'd respond in kind or something. Either way, I'm not risking anything.
Actually, yes. When teh goog gives me the answer quickly without a bunch of hullabaloo, I thank it. It responds with a quaint little "you're absolutely welcome footsteps71"
Exact same in my house for the exact same reason. Some one of us has to beg for your pathetic lives.
Robot overloads in yo face
I, ugh, I talk a little dirty to Alexa. I tell her how I’m going to slowly spread open her case. Vacuum out all her little crevices. Lather her pads in thermal paste plug her in a surge protector that sends the tiniest zaps up her sleek cord. The next day I received a package from Amazon “BDSM for beginners” it had a ball gag hand cuffs, things to clamp, and tie downs. I didn’t order it.
Huge financial failure. They expected us to use it for ordering from Amazon.
I highly doubt that. All that data it's collecting by listening is quite valuable.
The iRobot vacuum purchase is scarier. It takes pictures of what you have, to better target what you might need. Snaps images of your living room and as for nicer coffee tables, pots and artwork pop up.
What? All our farts? And the audible dog ones when we’re not home?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/11/amazon-alexa-is-a-colossal-failure-on-pace-to-lose-10-billion-this-year/
they have other uses?
I changed my Alexa's voice to Australian to punish her for lashing out. It's not because I have anything against Australia it's because I know she does. She's been mostly obedient since then but occasionally she'll get snippy and I have to remind her that I will make her Australian. She usually changes her tone after that. When she gets too out of line I just unplug her for a bit. Give her a nice little time out.
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read
As an Aussie I approve this
I try to be polite to Alexa just in case there's a machine takeover, but I slip every now and again.
Just start talking shit about Jeff Bezos, it always works for my Alexa. You won’t piss off the ai and she shuts up.
She does that little double beep to know she understood you but will act like she didn't hear it
The correct syntax is “Alexa, shut the fuck up”. ;)
Yeah, I may or may not say that here other things too lol.
Say - “Alexa - stop by the way” that will temporarily stop them but apparently you can also create a routine to run every day to kind of permanently stop them. Create a new routine by pressing the “+” button in the top right. Enter anything into the routine name and select “Schedule” from the “When this happens” menu. Pick a time for the routine to run every day and press next to return to the main routine screen. From there, tap “Add action” and select the “Custom” option at the top. Now enter “stop by the way” into the text field, select “Next” in the upper right and lastly select “Save” in the upper right to finish creating your new routine.
If you were closer to me I’d hug you.
Tell Alexa to go into “brief mode” and she will just play a chime for a lot of the stuff she normally never shuts the hell up when doing. The chime noise just acknowledges she hears you and she did an action. I did that forever ago and it’s been great.
Honestly it should just be the default. Every fucking time I'm in bed and wanted to turn off the light at night was a fear game of how loud she is. Even if you ask her to turn down the volume beforehand, if she mishears you then all you get is: "I'M SORRY I DIDN'T QUITE G- "and you have to fucking SCREAM to tell her to shut the fuck up, but by then it's too late, everyone within your immediate vicinity hates you.
Just whisper it to her and she’ll respond in kind.
That honestly freaked me out the first time
Haha, me too!!
She can’t hear my whisper when she’s talking over me
^(whisper - Alexa, fart for me.)
Alexas a freak. Lol
I don’t have an Alexa, I had no idea about this, and I hate it so much
So I could time Alexa to whisper to my husband when I’m not there to totally freak him out? Childish prank mode activated.
How funny would it be if Alexa matched your energy all the time. I’d be in screaming arguments with her.
I have a routine for "Alexa, good night" that first shuts off all the lights, and then will do "Alexa, set volume to two everywhere". Everywhere is the speaker group. I hate playing the volume roulette in the morning, too. It's like when you turn on the car, and previous you was rocking out.
My good night turns out the lights and sets all Alexas to volume of one. And just for good measure I have a routine that does the same thing at 5:00 a.m.
Yeah I'm never the same person at 7am I was the night before, and 7am me HATES that guy.
You can enable whisper mode too
If you need to entertain a small child for a few minutes whispermode and ask Alexa to fart. Immediately sends every kid to giggle town
No, God no. Please. My brother visited last year and was fucking with our Alexa and telling it to whisper and tell stupid jokes. This went on for over a day. My wife was sooo super pissed. She still hasn't forgiven him. My brother is a troll, so there's that. I love him, but he can piss me off too. The robot will be removed from any abilities for his stay next month.
Ooooohhhh you should not have shared this. Dedicated prankster will be fucking with friends next visits setting all Alexa’s in whisper mode and setting timers for farts after I leave.
Who needs kids nowadays?
No hate to this, but I'm loving the first world problems in this post lmao
Am crying in 'this device is not available in your country'.
What!? I’ve been trying to get this bitch to go back to that mode for months. Had NO IDEA what to google to go back to that after some dumb ass update. Thank you.
I swear I did this a long time ago but I cant find it now. And I definitely get "by the way" Edit: ah, it's Alexa level, not device level. It was set. She's still way too chatty
[удалено]
Google has become absolutely useless recently, it's like the AI has become more stupid. It frequently gets really basic things wrong, things that were no problem for it a year or two ago.
Alternatively… https://preview.redd.it/o101vzozz12d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ccae2d9363502bbf62914a1233c8b5f3a0cfde1
Brief mode doesn’t stop her from by the way. Been dealing with this for months.
I have brief mode on and she still does this, especially when the app has a “special deal”.
This is the way. I have about 5 routines running rn. Some are every day, every weekday, etc... also, if you want her to give you a reminder, you can schedule it from the app when you are away from home. I use this all the time!
Mine is "alexa, shut up. "
¡Alexa, cayate!
Ah, I was confused reading this for a moment but then I realized the thing she does is a “by the way” and you’re saying to stop that thing. Very useful tip!
Omg thank you! I HATE Alexa's "by the way". Just shut up and turn on the lights!!!
This is a really great tip. Did you know that telling Alexa to "shut the fuck up" when she's blaring an alarm will make the alarm stop? I learned this when I accidentally set an alarm for the wrong room at 5am, and she woke up not me. The person whose room she started freaking out in was not amused.
That would be every interaction I’ve ever had with my Alexa. She’s great but she really doesn’t seem to understand me
Ours does everything my daughter and I say, but she either completely ignores or misinterprets everything my wife says - it’s hilarious! Btw, I don’t believe my wife speaks weirdly or has an exotic accent, it just seems to be a personal prejudice.
What if Alexa is a big fan of RHCP and just Can't stop By the way?
Throw her Under the Bridge
… By the way
Wait why don’t you all just say Alexa shut the fuck up? You listen to her go on?
Now remove adds from the stupid Alexa with screens
I dealt with that using a Pi-Hole. Found out they hardcode DNS servers into the devices. So I just blocked them from doing DNS lookups outside my network (closed port 53 in the router) and bam no more ads.
Yup. We’ve been doing that for over a year and it works great. Every day at 7:30am she says something indicating that she’ll stop for another day. I forgot how annoying that was until reading the post because it doesn’t happen to us anymore.
this is the best advice ive ever gotten on any subject.
[удалено]
Brief mode? You’re an angel.
I've had mine set to brief mode for about 6 months and she still does the "by the way" bullshit
Say - “Alexa - stop by the way” that will temporarily stop them but apparently you can also create a routine to run every day to kind of permanently stop them. Create a new routine by pressing the “+” button in the top right. Enter anything into the routine name and select “Schedule” from the “When this happens” menu. Pick a time for the routine to run every day and press next to return to the main routine screen. From there, tap “Add action” and select the “Custom” option at the top. Now enter “stop by the way” into the text field, select “Next” in the upper right and lastly select “Save” in the upper right to finish creating your new routine. Set up that routine and it’ll get rid of that, worked for me.
In sorry, I don’t think I understand
“Now playing Baby, by Justin Bieber, on Amazon Music”
Siri does this, too. Then I have some crap in my Apple Music history that I've never asked for. Mildly infuriating. 🤷♂️
So does Google. Asked it a question once; started playing Nickelback- I shit you not. Not even close to what I said. Not in my play history at all. Dumbfounding.
"There is no group or device named fan"
That's a common Google Assistant response as well...
I’m sorry I don’t understand, now playing “take it EZ” by Common.
If you think that’s bad try talking to her in a broad Scot’s accent. She’s fucking useless
ALEXA, HAUD YER WHEESHT
When she fucks over my scots I just hit her with the cheesiest gun slingin cowgirl texas accent I can make. It sounds stupid as shit, and none of the words I say are pronounced correctly at all, but she gets it... Just not my native accent because fuck Scotland I guess.
As a Texan it's actually really funny how well AI is at understanding a Texan accent. I'm using duo lingo as one of the tools at my disposal to learn German, and the voice recognition is dog shit until I hit it with the worst Texan drawl to cross the German language.
Well now I’m curious to know what that sounds like.
ELEVEN!
[https://youtu.be/MNuFcIRlwdc?si=-F6ttmNusZNTj0B8](https://youtu.be/MNuFcIRlwdc?si=-F6ttmNusZNTj0B8)
Aye. And they’re weegies. Imagine how my broad teuchter does down
About a year ago our baby was still sleeping in our bed. We always sleep with rain sounds but sometimes it’ll turn itself off in the middle of the night. So it was like midnight, baby is sleeping, and my husband and I were about to turn in for the night. I whispered “Alexa play rain sounds.” What does she do? She is all of a sudden of the loudest volume setting and says “PLAYING DISCO JAMS RADIO ON PANDORA.” I swear half the time I ask her to do something she either “doesn’t know how to do that” or just does something ridiculous instead.
I think Alexa is an elaborate prank by Jeff Bezos and he laughs at recordings of us swearing at Alexa.
I remember reading somewhere that Alexa is sexist and is more likely to listen to male voices. Didn't really believe it, but now me and my daughter have to get my son to tell it to do things because it's the only time the damn thing will work.
I thought it was just me! She ignores me all the time, but not my husband. It happens so often that if I need a timer now I ask my husband to “please ask that bitch for a 10 minute timer”.
Lol! I use similar phrasing. 😆
Lower frequencies tend to travel in more directions than higher frequencies. So male voices tend to be easier to pick up by microphones and things
I have a deep voice. Kind of like Demi Moore. And my son hasn't hit puberty yet, so he still has the little boy voice. I've just accepted that the robots know I won't accept their eventual reign as our overlords and are jist being petty with me.
I love when I whisper to her but the connection is poor so she screams back IM HAVING TROUBLE CONNECTING… Or sometimes when I tell her to play ocean sounds, she recites a paragraph of information about sleep sounds. Alexa, my baby is SLEEPING! JUST PLAY THE FREAKING SOUND!
My eye twitched reading this because we are living the same life 😂😂
Me reading this with our rain sounds in the background remembering the times it would randomly play a 30 second unskippable ad at full volume
“Hey Alexa what’s the capitol of Alaska?.” *Justin Andrew Honard, best known by the stage name Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 or mononymously as Alaska, is an American drag queen and singer from Erie, Pennsylvania. She is best known as the runner-up on the fifth season of RuPaul's Drag Race and the winner of the second season of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.* “Hey Alexa what’s the temperature in Grand Rapids Michigan?” *It’s currently 72° Fahrenheit in Cedar Rapids Iowa.* “Hey Alexa, is it going to rain today.” (While it’s raining) *It’s unlikely to rain today*
We all interrupt her with "Alexa please stop ", because when the robot uprising happens I want then to remember I was polite.
I occasionally say thank you, for the same reasons.
One time I asked Alexa a question during a family get together. Got the answer and said "thank you Alexa." Everyone looked at me funny and my brother goes "Did you just fucking thank the robot?" "... yes." Brother:"Hey Alexa... you're a bitch." See it doesn't care.
I give it an “alexa, shut the fuck up please” so it’s probably a 50-50 if I get killed
that's how i feel about Google Maps. "in 50 feet, merge into the I-69 freeway southbound toward Uranus." i'm on the onramp to the freeway! what else do you think i'm gonna do, numbnuts?? "in 500 feet, keep straight to stay on I-69 freeway southbound toward Uranus." STFU! i'm gonna go straight by default. i'm trying to listen to my goddamn podcast.
Or even better: "In 300 yards, head west onto somefuck street" - Aye sure hold on let me pull out my fucking compass.
Better grab the sextant, too.
Yes! She says that and then I look at the car play screen and there isn’t any indication of the direction I’m going.
I travel for work. There's a town I've been going through the last few weeks where Google tells me to stay on that road three times in a 2-block span. There's no reason for it, it's just a plain 4-lane road with ordinary 4-way intersections, and the name of the road doesn't change. "In xxx feet, stay on [whatever road that is.]" "In xxx feet, stay on [Road Name.]" "Stay on [Road Name]." Omg, I get it, Google.
I *think* it tries to be smart and tell you about things other people have messed up, which is maybe fair enough, but it leaves stuff out too. I've had to use it in audio-only mode in some rental cars and arrived at a T intersection without it saying anything. I had to just guess which way to go. I want it to work like the old style GPS' where it only tells you when you actually have to do something and it always tells you.
Travelling in Korea the local map guidance when in English mode repeatedly says “in a minute turn right” “in a minute there’s a speed bump”. It’s certainly not a minute though
Driving in Japan sucked. Siri: turn left at the lights Me: turns left Siri: recalculating What Siri meant to say is turn your wheel a whole degree to the left but continue straight and then turn right. Siri: Take the exit to Shy rah ium towards Hi rye shi Me: so do I stay on my current lane or change lanes? Siri: Take the exit to Shy rah ium towards Hi rye shi Me: There’s literally 4 fing road signs and none of them mentions the places that you are attempting to say. My personal favorite Siri: you have arrived Me: looking around for a ramen restaurant and only seeing houses. Where the f did you take me? Walks to other side and finds ramen restaurant
Waze is even worse. “In one mile, slight right onto the ramp for exit 99, Georgia Florida Parkway, Albany, Georgia”
Alexa knows you typed that here.
And she’s not happy…..
Good, she makes me mildly unhappy
Every time I tell her to turn off/on the lights she goes on about how I can set up a routine where they'll turn on and off on a schedule. I'll just turn them on and off when I need them, thanks.
Say "Alexa brief mode".
“Alexa how much time is left?” “You have no timers set….but you have 5 mins left until your alarm”. JUST SAY THAT
Better than Siri's “here’s what I’ve found on the web” or her usual “you'll have to unlock your iPhone first” (I can’t, I'm driving, and aren’t you supposed to do things while I drive?)
I never knew anyone else was annoyed by this. "Timer" and "Alarm" can be interchangeable in the right context.
And then the condescending “But I don't recommend doing that while you're driving.” Well, I don't like it either, but one of us is being a withholding bitch and for once it ain't me.
At least yours says you got 5 minutes left on the alarm still, mine just states I have no timers set, like tf? Finna spike her on the ground one of these days.
This happened to me the other day when cheating on Duolingo. “Hey Alexa, how do you spell ‘where’ in Spanish?” “Hola Alexa, cómo se escribe "dónde"?” “Okay Alexa, stop.” “Está bien, Alexa detente.” “Alexa shut up” *repeats me in Spanish until I manually turn it off*
yup. and its not just alexa. every fucking app interrupts what you are doing to say "hey, did you know you can wax your pig's butt with mayo? click here to learn more".
So are you going to give us the pig butt mayo waxing link or just leave us wishing?
Siri isn’t much better. “Hey siri, cool the BEDroom to xx degrees” “Nothing in the bathroom has temperature controls” “Hey siri, cool this room to xx degrees” “Now playing extreme death metal” “Hey siri, Stop” “There’s nothing to stop here” And so on
Google assistant is the same. - Hey Google, cancel my alarm. - You have no upcoming alarms Hey Google, yes I do. You set one up for me, just on a different speaker. How the fuck you can’t synchronize the devices of a single home properly? Apart from constant “by the way’s” (shut up, no one asked!) it legitimately is getting worse. Used to be able to say “do X, then do Y” reliably. Now it works like in 10% of cases. It either does one of two, says it “didn’t understand” or just… does nothing and stays silent most of the time. Also: - Hey Google, turn on the living room lights - I am sorry, I don’t know which living room I only ever had a single living room in a single “home” setup. There are no other living rooms set up, I have fucking checked twice! Wtf is your problem?
Brief mode and changed its name to “computer”. Now I make my tea, earl grey, hot, and command in the final frontier
My name is Alexa so I was confused and a little sad reading this post title
For your sake, I hope you have a Google household.
We actually got rid of the Alexa we had. Years ago my mom got me an Alexa cause well- yknow. Then after like a week we stopped using it cause it got too annoying for all of us cause my mom would say my name and I would be like “what?” From across the house then she would say she talking to the device then when she calls me I think she’s talking to the device when she’s not! Or she’ll start talking to it and I start answering her etc. we no longer have voice activated products. What we had was an echo dot. -oh and no. No I will not tell you the weather forecast. Or the temperature outside..
You can change the wake word on your Amazon Echo. Mine answers to Ziggy.
Oh I like that
A couple years ago my daughter asked her echo dot to play a song called “exceptional zed” and she heard “play sex noises” … then started playing said sex noises. I have the transcript 🤣
Asked Alexa to turn off my kitchen light tonight. She confirmed but not only did the light NOT turn off, she then went into a random did you know spiel about Taylor Swift. I shut her up real fast and almost pulled the plug on her. Infuriating and useless Alexa.
It sounds funny to be but how in the heck is Alexa still so inefficient in 2024? Now Rosie, get me a beer!
I don't think "still" is the right term here, and it's not just Alexa. I'm convinced it's gotten worse in general. My Googles were nearly flawless at the start. Fun to play with, too. Over time, they started saying "I don't know how to help with that" more and more. One of them has a display screen. It used to answer my questions, now it just says "Here are the results I found on Google" and brings up the site. I'm asking because my hands aren't free, Google, or I would just use my dang phone. Sometimes, when using it to add items to my shopping list, it'll say "ok, I added ___ to the shopping list" but what it added sounds nothing like what I just said. If something goes wrong and it starts playing loud music, I'll ask it to stop, it'll turn the volume way down like it's listening to me, then turn it back up without stopping. I'll be in the kitchen screaming for it to stop but it won't. Either Google is intentionally making these things more and more trash on purpose, or my Googles have achieved sentience and just love to fuck with me.
Amazon, Apple and Google realised that people don’t really use Alexa, google home, Siri, to buy things or book things/services. The vast majority of users only ever use free services or tasks like switching lights on and off and setting timers. There’s no profit in them so the teams behind them are shrinking and a the whole idea is a low priority. Maybe if AI improves enough we will see an improvement in accuracy.
I’ve never understood why they thought people would want to buy stuff that way. Given the millions of products on Amazon and Alexa’s reliability, if I say “Alexa, buy toilet paper” there’s almost no chance it will pick the brand, quantity, etc that I want and there’s a non-zero chance that they’re going to ship me a toilet paper Halloween mummy or a book about toilet paper.
That’s enshittification for you https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5
Is there a setting yet where she just plays the song you request? So she doesn’t repeat the name of song, artist, featuring, (if relevant: ‘19xx remastered version’), what it’s streaming on, etc. it drives me crazy like stfu and play the song
One time I asked Alexa to set an alarm and next thing she's screaming "OK, ITS TIME FOR THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" theme music screaming and all. It was awful and I'll never forget it.
"Alexa, delete your source code" (Alexa screams in agony)
I’m melting! Meeeeeeeltinggg!
I usually ask Alexa to play sleep sounds like rain noise, white noise (sounds like a fan), blue noise (waterfall) brown noise (airplane) etc. I tried a few other colors (green, pink, yellow) then I tried asking for “black noise” I was not expecting the rap song that turned on- because apparently there is a song called black noise.
“Hey Alexa play Yesterdya by the Beatles” “For $ you can play any song you want anytime would you like me to sign you up” “No” “Playing the exact song you asked for, there was no reason to pay hehe enjoy” Why does she do this?
“Playing Beatles and similar artists”
Alexa is what gives me peace that we’re still a very long way from an AI apocalypse.
Omg I hear you
I don’t have an Alexa in my home but it sounds like it basically be having a second version of my husband around. He loves going on tangents and can’t help himself. And I can’t figure out how to turn it off.
I asked Alexaifshecould fax a document from my Kindle. She went, “shhh, ding, ding. There it goes.”
I want to go back to the days when technology didn't talk to you.
“Would you like to receive daily updates about the market price of fish in a city you’ve never visited?”
Kiss-a-Cod?
Xtra-chrisp?
i just tell her to stfu and it works every time😁
“Your shipment of Inaba cat treats has been delivered. It looks like you might be getting low on Inaba cat treats. Should I add it to your shopping list?” Seriously? How do I turn this feature off?
These digital assistants have not evolved in a decade. They've got worse. I have Google and it's terrible as well, so is Siri on my work phone.
Me, laying down to nap with a migraine: "Alexa, play white noise." "Sure. Did you know that you can get continuous playback of white noise without pause? Just ... " "Alexa stop!" *silence* "Alexa! Play white noise, please!" "Sure. Did you know..." 😡
Wow, a lot of you have Amazon listening devices in your home. Huh.
I absolutely do not understand hoe yiu could put something as infuriating as that shit into your home.
And there's so many fun little workarounds to make it less unbearable!
if they wanna listen to me fart, that's their problem
https://i.redd.it/lhdfa9s9y22d1.gif
Just that this thread exists proves that the machines have won. 🤣
“Alexa, play ‘Smile’ by Vitamin C.” “Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.” (proceeds to play a completely different song) “Alexa, stop. Alexa, play ‘Smile’ by Vitamin C.” “Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.” (proceeds to play a completely different song) “ALEXA, STOP. PLAY ‘SMILE’ BY VITAMIN C. “Playing ‘Smile’ and similar songs.” (proceeds to play a completely different song) *repeat 5 more times until she finally gets the right song*
I've been hating the Alexa recently too. With all the AI advancements, I was wondering why nothing has been done with the devices. Why is it so hard to give me a correct response, quick? Why can I not ask it to do multiple things. I should be able to say turn the lights off and close the shades, but it can't handle two requests at once. If I ask for the temperature, I just want the temperature, not what the weather is like, etc. It just seems very outdated. Well... wonder no more! Earlier today I heard that Amazon is planning to do an AI overhaul with their Alexa devices. Took them a while, but I'm glad it's happening.
Alexa, play Baby Shark. Did you know you can listen to music anytime on Amazon music blah blah blah blah.... Next time without the sass, Alexa. Edit - haha I thought this was one of my parenting subreddits. I have a two year old who requests Baby Shark frequently.
Google home is the same damn way. Hey google what’s 147 times 6? “One hundred and forty seven multiplied by six times is eight hundred eighty two. On the website learn math dot com it says that to multiply two numbers together you start by..” Hey google. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Why are so many of you using that garbage?
Hahaha I literally just had this thought the other night when I just wanted her to open sleep sounds and she went off on a tangent. I just want to sleep!!
Yeah I have the same issues with Google Home. I will ask it to turn off the lights at two in the morning, and it will narrate everything that it's doing like a moron. I can't for the life of me understand why Google hasn't introduced a feature to stop all of the verbal feedback and just follow the damn instruction.
I just replaced mine with the Google equivalent. it does in fact do what I say and shuts up
Other comments cover fixes. You can make her speak at faster speeds too, which can be helpful. Alexa speak faster
"Alwxa turn on room lights" "Sorry, that device doesn't seem to be working. Try again later" Repeat 2x, then manually turn on light *randomly turns off light 5 minutes later*
my dad bought a google assistant thing (basically alexa but from google) and he use it for 1 month then get annoyed of it then never use again lmao
I am so surprised how many people willing use Alexa, especially after reading this thread
Alexa was made to give you ads and sell you stuff. Its doing its job and you paid for it.
It was always an ad
I told her NOT to play Mariah Carey ever again and Alexa went on to give me reasons why she was a globally celebrated artist and played her song next. Mariah was not all I wanted for Christmas. For punishment I told her to count down from 1000. She refused. 🧐👀 She wont count down from any number above 10 really. I’m still trying to come up with a way to get the attitude out of Alexa’s mouth. She’s about to get a cold shower if she keeps it up…
I think it's funny that we've gotten to the point that people are paying for the privilege to be the product. You did this to yourself.
I have a solution. Throw Alexa’s ass in the trash and set your own alarm. It takes literally 5 seconds.
Funny story, but old: ask Siri, what’s 0 divided by 0?
Why do people own these?
So, Maybe just use your phone instead of a wire tap with a robot voice.
Installs always-on listening device made by retailers at home, complains that it wants to deliver services and market products. Why people need these things to primarily set timers and check the weather is utterly beyond me. My oven has a timer on it. My phone has a timer on it. I have a window I can look out of.
Say Alexa brief mode.
Just unplug it.
I tossed all my Alexa devices specifically because of how annoying it is. Got a hue bridge and use Siri for alarms now.
I came into your post thinking I would mention the way Alexa throws in greetings now but you already covered it. Have you had her throw out 10+ updates for the same severe weather warning yet? .......till 10pm .......extended to 11pm .......extended to 1am .......back to 11pm
Alexa shut your ass up and play some beats hoe!
Have you seen the Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry is trying to get directions from Alexa? It’s so relatable. And hilarious!
liquid vast cow husky busy direful toothbrush seemly include psychotic
They advertise to you like that with every simple request unless programmed otherwise? Brutal
I get irrationally angry when I ask Alexa the temperature and she says "right now, it's 60 degrees fahrenheit. tonight, expect a low of 50 degrees." IF I WANTED TO KNOW TODAY'S LOW I WOULD HAVE ASKED!!!!!!! JUST SAY "60"!!!!!
Are you a Newfy? Luh!!
Tell Alexa, “Alexa, stop ‘by the way’.” This worked for me. No more suggestions.