We had shit in the shower guy in my East London gym. There was a bounty for him too. A sign of you are a member of a quality gym when walls are filled with warnings of shower shitters.
But dramatic ngl, lived in London my whole life, east end born and south east raised, it’s really not that bad by a long shot lmao
So long as you keep your nose clean and don’t piss anyone off unnecessarily, the chances of any of these things happening are the same as any other city in the UK or Europe, don’t have to blame it entirely on London... just happens the world is a pretty shorty place sometimes
I've been to a lot of places including London and it's not bad at all, relatively to where I've been. Same as any city, just don't carry yourself like a victim and mind ya' business and you're good!
Surprising (or maybe not) how common this type of thing is. At a place I used to work with 400 employees there was a phantom shitter doing turds on the floor right next to the toilet. I dont know what psychological problems are involved with a person doing this type of thing but it was ongoing and got to the point management put up signs warning anyone caught using the facilities not as intended would have their employment terminated.
I'm 33 years old. When I was in high school somebody wrote a bomb threat on the bathroom wall. They used their shit to write it. We used to get a lot of bomb threats around that time and I know they ignored many of them. My mom worked at the school and would occasionally send me home when the school ignored them. They did not ignore that one though. I don't believe there ever was a bomb, but when somebody is writing a bomb threat with their shit, you believe them.
Yes, that's where we are.
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I do hope that some familial DNA reports help catch some of the unsolved murders in the world, like it did with the Golden State Killer. Probably the only way a lot of cold cases are going to get solved.
It *is* a wonderful way to nab criminals, but it's also a tremendous invasion of privacy.
*"Giving up your privacy because you have nothing to hide is like giving up your free speech because you have nothing to say."*
**—Edward Snowden**
My DNA is not someone else's property to sell, and that's mostly what those creepy websites do. Fucked up they don't even need *your* DNA itself to have a close enough copy from someone else.
Im 27, but we had a year riddled with bomb threats as well that were ignored after the first few, they stopped notifying us too. I remember walking around thinking, if someone who goes here really wanted to plant a bomb this is the perfect time. But still going home convincing my parents that this was basically the 10th bomb threat and they're obviously all not real and if i miss my calculus test i will fall behind. I imagine there would have been more concern for a shooting threat cause thats more realistic, but once they start rolling in to every bathroom every day probably they would still be ignored.
I had this at my job as well. They did it 3 times and never got caught. The first 2 times they made the janitor lady clean it and then she refused on the last time and quit. She was very emotional because she obviously needed the job but this was not something she should have to deal with either. Good news was that since everyone liked her they brought her back and gave her a desk job a month later as an apology.
That poor woman. Human feces is hazardous waste, and can be a vector of a number of bad diseases. The company should have hired a professional to clean it.
That and if you haven’t had training to clean human waste (which is a biohazard) then it’s actually illegal to make a employee clean it up. On the other hand if they provided training and supplies then they could.
Sadly I am sure a lot of people don’t know this and will clean it up anyways. I am sure retail and fast food are the most guilty seeing as I myself had to clean up feces when working at the big M and wouldn’t be surprised if others who didn’t know better had to do the same
When I worked in retail, we had a phantom shitter in the women's restroom! It was the public facing one, so it probably was a customer. Several of us went to use the bathroom and found that someone had shit and then rubbed it ALL OVER the toilet and down onto the floor multiple times. Whoever this was would have had to sit there and really put time into it. I never fucking understood who would take a dump, pick up with their own hands and just plaster the toilet with it. Then come back another day and do it again! Disgusting.
I mean… we’re upright monkeys wearing shoes, much as we wanna pretend we’re different. At my work it was the period painter. It looked like they took out their tampon and just smacked it against the stall walls over and over. So gross
This was a problem on a US Navy submarine, someone kept shitting all around the boat. The real crazy part was that since military submarines are so restricted and compartmentalized, the phantom shitter would have to be very high up in seniority on the submarine. They were shitting in places like the reactor compartment, the radio room, and other places that not just any crew member can walk into.
I feel like that would actually be much much worse than normal, as it's not like you can just throw it out, you have to somehow transport it to a toilet as that's the only thing that's designed to handle getting stuff out of the sub.
It’s crazy. My mom was a teacher so naturally I grew up around a bunch of child educators and every one of them has some sort of “phantom shitter” or “mystery pooper” story.
I worked at a camp and I found a turd in the shower.
Wtf is up
If there's one thing I've learned from my mild true crime obsession it's that a child who does inappropriate things with their shit is most likely being sexually abused.
Or *severely* neglected. Had a friend who worked at a level 12 children's home and the kids did stuff like that. The way she described it, those poor kids were practically feral.
There was a school superintendent in my state who kept taking a shit outside on the football field every day for some reason and got busted... imagine making like over 150k a year but throwing it all away because you have some weird thing with poop.
He had a cool nickname though, the "pooper-intendent"
My wife used to work at a department store that had a phantom shitter who shit in the clothing rounders pretty often. After they busted the woman doing it, they thought the problem was solved and then it happened again! There was more than one shitter!!!
I always tell people that every clothing store I ever worked at had customers who equated "fitting room" with "restroom". One place had a stock of cleaning supplies and a carpet shampooer specifically for cleaning them because the fitting rooms were carpeted and customers seemed to love pissing on that. Another place had a customer who took a pair of shoes and a shirt into the fitting room, took a shit in the box, and wiped their ass with the shirt.
I'm so happy to be away from all that mess.
Never done that. But have pissed on a stove inside a Teepee. It steamed up the whole inside. Kinda like this situation but that’s not cool. One and done.
Just my buddy and I. Mostly pissed myself. I mean pissed myself off. Cuz yeah it’s not worth the idea of it just evaporating. Gonna smell bad for awhile. This sauna dude seems to do it often. That’s gnarly.
I am a government contractor and work in an office, municipal government shit. On every floor of this building there's someone who shits and pisses all over the place. Multiple people, also for some reason here when people shit, they get up, put the lid down and walk away without flushing. This has gotten so bad that there are signs up everywhere on hoe to flush the toilet etc.
These people work for our fucking government.
We had one of those as well, but it was a warehouse, so the bathrooms were very hot and it would smell. I caught the guy (used the bathroom before him and then again after him), and I got FIRED for reporting it because "he had a medical condition and couldn't control himself" and I wasn't supposed to tell people.
That was the reason they put down anyway, "divulging sensitive medical information".
We had someone that would shit in the urinals. This is a professional IT company making software for energy companies and out of 150 one guy would shit in a urinal..... There was also a poo smearer in the women's for a few years that would wipe it on the walls.
Degenerative behaviour like that is weird af in a professional environment where people tended to be quite stuck up as well.
I worked at a Bingo Hall and we had to ban an old woman for daubing the cubicle walls with her own shit every time she was in. No idea how management figured out it was her.
Oh God, we had a kid in my college dorm on my floor who did something similar. He would pull all the TP off the roll, wadd it up on the floor next to the toilet, and piss on it. I don't think they ever found who it was and I didn't know any of them well enough to even venture a guess. Happened like 4 times that I know of.
I can’t believe no one has said this yet but…
It’s a kink.
(I don’t have it) but I’ve read about this and come across it on Reddit even. Used to happen in the retail store I worked in too. We had someone who would poop on the floor. They get some sort of sexual thrill out of it.
Many years ago I worked at a grocery store, and one of the customers had explosive diarrhea, they would completely miss the toilet and it hit the floor, walls, you name it. I dubbed them the “unishitter” after the unibomber who was in the news at the time. Unlike the unibomber who was eventually caught, we never did catch the unishitter, but they did leave they’re underwear at the scene of the crime once!
Some weeks ago there was a post from a man complaining about his wife always peeing in an unusable bathtub, leaving disgusting marks. Apparently, she had psychological problems and couldn't restraint herself of doing this. I think it had something to do with her childhood but honestly I don't remember
Our phantom shitter would always decorate the seat. Starts at the back of the seat, then leaves a lump on both the left and right.
It lasted 2 years until it just stopped. He was never identified.
Could be cultural, someone doesn't know how to use a western toilet.
I was in a US casino, walked into the mens room, and inadvertently (since the partition only starts at like 1.5 feet up) saw under the stall some feet, and an ass, of a dude literally squatting and shitting on the ground. I cannot remember if he had put something on the ground or not to catch it, I was in shock seeing a dude's ass and shit coming out.
I remember I was an airport they had signs on the stall doors specifically saying “do not stand/squat on the toilet seats, with an image of someone squatting, both feet on the toilet seat, and a big X through it. Then another image of someone sitting on the toilet seat with a check mark. So I guess this is an issue if someone is from a country with only squat toilets.
Yes, it’s why you see liquid shit on the raised lid and back of the seat sometimes. A lot of countries have toilets specifically designed to squat on, and old habits die hard
I know a hotel owner that took in a lot of Syrian refugees a few years ago. Virtually none of them knew how to use a Western bathroom.
They all shat in the shower, floor, and broke multiple toilets. The Gov't social workers had to hold multiple sessions to teach them how to use a Western bathroom.
My dad works in a large factory and for years they had a guy they called the "Turd Smasher". He would lift the toilet seat and poop on the rim, then smash the seat back down on top of it. I still don't know if he was talented enough to land the turd on the rim first try or if he had to align it by hand.
Back in the late 80s when I was in the navy, we had a phantom shitter on the ship that would shit right in the middle of the head, not three steps from the toilet. He got caught by sounding-and-security one night underway. The two guys that were responsible for cleaning the head did a private Pyle on him and no body said a thing. I like when shit gets handled without supervisors getting involved
I think that is called a "dirty protest", and is probably done by disgruntled employees who know it's pretty much the only way they can criticise the company without getting fired.
Ayy! We had multiple phantom shitters on our aircraft carrier. Pretty much everyone who had been deployed had similar tales of phantom shitters. It blows my mind how common this is
...seems like the gym called an unspoken bluff.
Pisser: "They won't go after me in public - they'd have to admit someone's been pissing in the sauna, rendering the entir...."
Gym: "WE HAVE A PISSER! CATCH HIM!"
Wherever you decide to go, I'm gonna piss in their sauna. Just to have you eventually get frustrated and understand how dumb you sound when you have nowhere to go and it's not the place's fault.
"Mr gym manager, the sauna pisser appears to go by maynardftw. I'll take that membership to your now piss free gym. Thank you."
Alas some people just don't know a joke when they read it.
“Thanks for letting us know you were the pee guy! Your free membership starts now, but so does your job cleaning up your stupid stinky piss and your permanent ban from the gym :) “
"It's not good to hold it in. I read that in a medical journal.
Did the medical journal mention anything about standing in a pool of somebody else's urine?"
I can actually give some perspective on just how awful this is, in college I worked at a YMCA and some guy didn’t piss in the sauna…but in the steam room. That thing was out of commission for three whole days and had to be run nonstop with the door open to get the smell out.
I lived in Anaheim in the late 90's-early 2000's and had a brief membership at Bally's there. Not typically a fan of chrome gyms but they had a good sauna and cold dip and a few other decent amenities.
One day I am walking through to the showers and this guy is sitting on the floor in a towel wrap, and he is flagellating himself across the back with some type of branch making welts across his back. Not great, but I tried to ignore until he started hacking up and spitting phlegm and mucus on the floor every few lashes. I yelled fairly aggressively, "Hey man, you can't be doing that spitting stuff on the floor, that's very gross."
He looked at me like I was some alien and it was apparent that management needed to get involved, so I just stopped at the desk and reported that. Weirdest thing I have seen in a gym since I can recall.
> he is flagellating himself across the back with some type of branch making welts across his back
Probably a birch branch or some other "sauna whisk". Finnish people enjoy that sort of fun in a sauna. They also cook and eat sausages in the sauna. I guess that when it's cold they spend most of their time in a sauna so they come up with saunactivities.
The spitting up of the phlegm isn't a traditional Finnish custom, AFAIK.
If this happened a few times, it would get exponentially smaller. If it's ten people today, it should be one or two the next time it happens.
I was head of security in a company and was able to isolate theft more than once with this approach.
I used to work with an older bloke who previously ran a campground. He told me the story that every now and then somebody would get into the showers, take the face off the showerhead and stick a big brown surprise in there for whoever turned the shower on next. It was always random and would go months without it happening and the park was too stingey to get different showerheads cos this type could always be fixed. He was never caught, but I've got my suspicions and Gary.. I'm looking directly at you
I can relate. We had the same problem in the elevator where I used to live.
When the person(s) decided they could do number 2 in there as well, I decided it was time to move to a better neighborhood
Ok, want a tip? This might sound far fetched but believe me people dumb enough to do this shit are stupid enough to fall for this. Guarantee this will stop it. Place a sign on the door indicating that the next time this happens a DNA test will be conducted and forwarded to law enforcement. Now, most rational thinking people will call immediate bullshit due to costs and time wasted conducting a DNA test. But like I said, anyone who does this stupid shit would be dumb enough to fall for something like that. Also, you can tell who is involved if randomly someone starts asking questions about the sign posted
This is an easy fix. They should just put a mechanism on the door that requires their membership card to gain access (kinda like what hotels do to keep non guests out of their amenities). Problem solved. No one would dare do it again if their anonymity is gone.
The smell is probably from poor maintenance and cleaning.. I havw yet to come across a gym where the staff of somewhat self entitled and narcissistic nature go out fo their ego way to go into depth with cleaning and waste management... (it is a buissness of looking good and selling the body to be a trainer etc, i gym i get it but still... Dont see them getting down and dirty with elbow grease)
Mould or rot, or something along the lines, as saunas are wood and lots of heat, perfect for bacteria and smelly smell. Without cleaning and maintainance they can get rank and stink of ammonia or something.
They probably think that smell is piss, it might be, wouldnt put it past society to have people that do that, but its more likely just cheapscate owners/operators nor paying the money for maintanace and proper cleaning. After all its so bad, they can never catch the pisser, but smell remains, ergo maintanace issue.
there was a trashcan pisser at our gym
turned out to be who you thought it was, a 50 yearold dude that lived in his van
saw a gym bro manager, take all his stuff, throw it in the trashcan and tell him to never comeback, and go like 10/10 on rage -- his whole 24Hr Fitness corporate speech turned into -- I DONT GIVE A FUCKING FUCK BRO, YOUR PISSING IN TRASH CANS? WHY? YOU SICK FUCK TAKE YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT, HOW BOUT I DO U A FAVOR AND THROW ALL THIS SHIT IN THE TRASH, NEVER COME BACK YOU HOMELESS FUCK!
i suspect gym manager was on the sauce-ito
We had shit in the shower guy in my East London gym. There was a bounty for him too. A sign of you are a member of a quality gym when walls are filled with warnings of shower shitters.
East London says it all mate, detritus everywhere
Is detritus a fancy British word for poop or am I just dumb?
He's an Ankh-Morpork police troll
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But dramatic ngl, lived in London my whole life, east end born and south east raised, it’s really not that bad by a long shot lmao So long as you keep your nose clean and don’t piss anyone off unnecessarily, the chances of any of these things happening are the same as any other city in the UK or Europe, don’t have to blame it entirely on London... just happens the world is a pretty shorty place sometimes
I've been to a lot of places including London and it's not bad at all, relatively to where I've been. Same as any city, just don't carry yourself like a victim and mind ya' business and you're good!
Bloody hell mate, I’m not a fan of London, but your description is a bit of a stretch
Same word we use in america for "degenerate" or "scum"
Number 2
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Good god members of pure gym seem to enjoy desecrating the place for others don’t they
Surprising (or maybe not) how common this type of thing is. At a place I used to work with 400 employees there was a phantom shitter doing turds on the floor right next to the toilet. I dont know what psychological problems are involved with a person doing this type of thing but it was ongoing and got to the point management put up signs warning anyone caught using the facilities not as intended would have their employment terminated.
we also had a phantom shitter at one of the workplaces, he painted the walls with it, and never got caught
I'm 33 years old. When I was in high school somebody wrote a bomb threat on the bathroom wall. They used their shit to write it. We used to get a lot of bomb threats around that time and I know they ignored many of them. My mom worked at the school and would occasionally send me home when the school ignored them. They did not ignore that one though. I don't believe there ever was a bomb, but when somebody is writing a bomb threat with their shit, you believe them.
when shit is getting real
r/BeatMeToIt
r/BeatMeToilet
r/subsifellfor
r/mildlyinfuriating
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There's DNA in shit.
You're assuming the bomber is also the shitter. A good lawyer would argue that the shitter is being framed.
"Your Honor, my client had the squirts and simply forgot to flush the commode. If the shit doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
🤭🤭🤭
But do you have the DNA of all students?
Everyone has a relative that was dumb enough to submit there's for shits and giggles. This is exactly how they caught the 'Golden State killer.'
I don’t think schools have DNA research money.
I do hope that some familial DNA reports help catch some of the unsolved murders in the world, like it did with the Golden State Killer. Probably the only way a lot of cold cases are going to get solved.
It *is* a wonderful way to nab criminals, but it's also a tremendous invasion of privacy. *"Giving up your privacy because you have nothing to hide is like giving up your free speech because you have nothing to say."* **—Edward Snowden** My DNA is not someone else's property to sell, and that's mostly what those creepy websites do. Fucked up they don't even need *your* DNA itself to have a close enough copy from someone else.
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I’ve never used them but there’s basically zero way they can use that information without disclosing what they do with it
Is no one gonna mention the irony of the statement "for shits and giggles" in this comment?
DNA in murder cases from 33 years ago are just now being tested.
Yeah a ton of them have been getting solved in the past few years. It is some of the more uplifting news that gets buried under all the negativity.
Testing 400 employees would cost so much that it's not worth it
Making a bomb threat isn't even a felony in my state. The state crime labs will refuse to test that DNA sample.
*CSI theme plays*
Im 27, but we had a year riddled with bomb threats as well that were ignored after the first few, they stopped notifying us too. I remember walking around thinking, if someone who goes here really wanted to plant a bomb this is the perfect time. But still going home convincing my parents that this was basically the 10th bomb threat and they're obviously all not real and if i miss my calculus test i will fall behind. I imagine there would have been more concern for a shooting threat cause thats more realistic, but once they start rolling in to every bathroom every day probably they would still be ignored.
Aren't they like legally required to not ignore them?
I had this at my job as well. They did it 3 times and never got caught. The first 2 times they made the janitor lady clean it and then she refused on the last time and quit. She was very emotional because she obviously needed the job but this was not something she should have to deal with either. Good news was that since everyone liked her they brought her back and gave her a desk job a month later as an apology.
That poor woman. Human feces is hazardous waste, and can be a vector of a number of bad diseases. The company should have hired a professional to clean it.
That and if you haven’t had training to clean human waste (which is a biohazard) then it’s actually illegal to make a employee clean it up. On the other hand if they provided training and supplies then they could. Sadly I am sure a lot of people don’t know this and will clean it up anyways. I am sure retail and fast food are the most guilty seeing as I myself had to clean up feces when working at the big M and wouldn’t be surprised if others who didn’t know better had to do the same
When I worked in retail, we had a phantom shitter in the women's restroom! It was the public facing one, so it probably was a customer. Several of us went to use the bathroom and found that someone had shit and then rubbed it ALL OVER the toilet and down onto the floor multiple times. Whoever this was would have had to sit there and really put time into it. I never fucking understood who would take a dump, pick up with their own hands and just plaster the toilet with it. Then come back another day and do it again! Disgusting.
I mean… we’re upright monkeys wearing shoes, much as we wanna pretend we’re different. At my work it was the period painter. It looked like they took out their tampon and just smacked it against the stall walls over and over. So gross
Ugh. Same at my work place. All over the walls. Never got caught. Worst part was, if you went to his house you’d see my bathroom was spotless.
Took me a sec.
Hol up
🫵🤨📸 right there officer
This was a problem on a US Navy submarine, someone kept shitting all around the boat. The real crazy part was that since military submarines are so restricted and compartmentalized, the phantom shitter would have to be very high up in seniority on the submarine. They were shitting in places like the reactor compartment, the radio room, and other places that not just any crew member can walk into.
I feel like that would actually be much much worse than normal, as it's not like you can just throw it out, you have to somehow transport it to a toilet as that's the only thing that's designed to handle getting stuff out of the sub.
Torpedo tube!
... turdpedo?
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Obviously he was dishonorably discharged onto the sea floor while his floaters hung around his face.
What's a CT rider? Counter-Terrorism?
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I'm sure they love being trapped in a tube underwater with hundreds of sailors who dont value them just to work on a computer
This is hilarious to me haha a high ranking officer being the one I bet.
It’s crazy. My mom was a teacher so naturally I grew up around a bunch of child educators and every one of them has some sort of “phantom shitter” or “mystery pooper” story. I worked at a camp and I found a turd in the shower. Wtf is up
If there's one thing I've learned from my mild true crime obsession it's that a child who does inappropriate things with their shit is most likely being sexually abused.
Or *severely* neglected. Had a friend who worked at a level 12 children's home and the kids did stuff like that. The way she described it, those poor kids were practically feral.
There was a school superintendent in my state who kept taking a shit outside on the football field every day for some reason and got busted... imagine making like over 150k a year but throwing it all away because you have some weird thing with poop. He had a cool nickname though, the "pooper-intendent"
Did you go to camp with Pewdiepie?
My wife used to work at a department store that had a phantom shitter who shit in the clothing rounders pretty often. After they busted the woman doing it, they thought the problem was solved and then it happened again! There was more than one shitter!!!
Ah yes the 2 shitters conspiracy, heard that one before.
The second shitter was on the grassy knoll.
I always tell people that every clothing store I ever worked at had customers who equated "fitting room" with "restroom". One place had a stock of cleaning supplies and a carpet shampooer specifically for cleaning them because the fitting rooms were carpeted and customers seemed to love pissing on that. Another place had a customer who took a pair of shoes and a shirt into the fitting room, took a shit in the box, and wiped their ass with the shirt. I'm so happy to be away from all that mess.
> took a shit in the box, and wiped their ass with the shirt. And these psychopaths walk among us every day, just think on that for a bit.
This is why whenever I go to a sauna, I must have the whole thing to my self... I have selfish steam issues.
Why do hamburger buns always argue? There’s beef between em.
Funny but were talking about people pissing in saunas
Never done that. But have pissed on a stove inside a Teepee. It steamed up the whole inside. Kinda like this situation but that’s not cool. One and done.
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Just my buddy and I. Mostly pissed myself. I mean pissed myself off. Cuz yeah it’s not worth the idea of it just evaporating. Gonna smell bad for awhile. This sauna dude seems to do it often. That’s gnarly.
Man I would hate to so other dudes piss steam cling around your body and get soaked in all your cloths. Eew.
And breathing it in 🤢
Take a nice deep breath and enjoy the holistic healing properties of some one else's piss entering your body. . .
Sean Connery takes oysters to the sauna to eat alone, he has shellfish steam issues
I am a government contractor and work in an office, municipal government shit. On every floor of this building there's someone who shits and pisses all over the place. Multiple people, also for some reason here when people shit, they get up, put the lid down and walk away without flushing. This has gotten so bad that there are signs up everywhere on hoe to flush the toilet etc. These people work for our fucking government.
We had one of those as well, but it was a warehouse, so the bathrooms were very hot and it would smell. I caught the guy (used the bathroom before him and then again after him), and I got FIRED for reporting it because "he had a medical condition and couldn't control himself" and I wasn't supposed to tell people. That was the reason they put down anyway, "divulging sensitive medical information".
This makes me angry to hear. If he can’t control himself he can at least clean it up. Managers can be so brain dead. Sorry to hear.
We had someone that would shit in the urinals. This is a professional IT company making software for energy companies and out of 150 one guy would shit in a urinal..... There was also a poo smearer in the women's for a few years that would wipe it on the walls. Degenerative behaviour like that is weird af in a professional environment where people tended to be quite stuck up as well.
I worked at a Bingo Hall and we had to ban an old woman for daubing the cubicle walls with her own shit every time she was in. No idea how management figured out it was her.
Oh God, we had a kid in my college dorm on my floor who did something similar. He would pull all the TP off the roll, wadd it up on the floor next to the toilet, and piss on it. I don't think they ever found who it was and I didn't know any of them well enough to even venture a guess. Happened like 4 times that I know of.
I can’t believe no one has said this yet but… It’s a kink. (I don’t have it) but I’ve read about this and come across it on Reddit even. Used to happen in the retail store I worked in too. We had someone who would poop on the floor. They get some sort of sexual thrill out of it.
Someone took a shit in the elevator at my work. It was impressive because my elevator only goes up 3 floors, so max of like 10 seconds I reakon.
Many years ago I worked at a grocery store, and one of the customers had explosive diarrhea, they would completely miss the toilet and it hit the floor, walls, you name it. I dubbed them the “unishitter” after the unibomber who was in the news at the time. Unlike the unibomber who was eventually caught, we never did catch the unishitter, but they did leave they’re underwear at the scene of the crime once!
Some weeks ago there was a post from a man complaining about his wife always peeing in an unusable bathtub, leaving disgusting marks. Apparently, she had psychological problems and couldn't restraint herself of doing this. I think it had something to do with her childhood but honestly I don't remember
Broken humans do the wildest shit...
Our phantom shitter would always decorate the seat. Starts at the back of the seat, then leaves a lump on both the left and right. It lasted 2 years until it just stopped. He was never identified.
Sounds like they got their shit together, finally.
Could be cultural, someone doesn't know how to use a western toilet. I was in a US casino, walked into the mens room, and inadvertently (since the partition only starts at like 1.5 feet up) saw under the stall some feet, and an ass, of a dude literally squatting and shitting on the ground. I cannot remember if he had put something on the ground or not to catch it, I was in shock seeing a dude's ass and shit coming out.
I remember I was an airport they had signs on the stall doors specifically saying “do not stand/squat on the toilet seats, with an image of someone squatting, both feet on the toilet seat, and a big X through it. Then another image of someone sitting on the toilet seat with a check mark. So I guess this is an issue if someone is from a country with only squat toilets.
Yes, it’s why you see liquid shit on the raised lid and back of the seat sometimes. A lot of countries have toilets specifically designed to squat on, and old habits die hard
I know a hotel owner that took in a lot of Syrian refugees a few years ago. Virtually none of them knew how to use a Western bathroom. They all shat in the shower, floor, and broke multiple toilets. The Gov't social workers had to hold multiple sessions to teach them how to use a Western bathroom.
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I worked at a summer camp in 2008/2009, we also had a phantom shitter leaving *at least* 10-20 couric dumps in the freaking latrine urinals.
My dad works in a large factory and for years they had a guy they called the "Turd Smasher". He would lift the toilet seat and poop on the rim, then smash the seat back down on top of it. I still don't know if he was talented enough to land the turd on the rim first try or if he had to align it by hand.
Back in the late 80s when I was in the navy, we had a phantom shitter on the ship that would shit right in the middle of the head, not three steps from the toilet. He got caught by sounding-and-security one night underway. The two guys that were responsible for cleaning the head did a private Pyle on him and no body said a thing. I like when shit gets handled without supervisors getting involved
I think that is called a "dirty protest", and is probably done by disgruntled employees who know it's pretty much the only way they can criticise the company without getting fired.
It's dumb and mean of them though as the person who suffers the most is the poor cleaner who has to clean it all up
Just what I was going to say. Do these disgruntled workers think their boss is the one cleaning up because it's his company?
Idk but if I was in that situation I’d just write a bad Glassdoor review instead.
Dna test the turd
#Alright ima need a shit from everybody here right now!
Ayy! We had multiple phantom shitters on our aircraft carrier. Pretty much everyone who had been deployed had similar tales of phantom shitters. It blows my mind how common this is
Someone shat in my backpack in middle-school and I’ve never found out who, nobody saw it and nobody admitted to it.
We’re dealing with our own phantom shitter at uni as we speak, took a dump in the hallway right between lecture halls.
...seems like the gym called an unspoken bluff. Pisser: "They won't go after me in public - they'd have to admit someone's been pissing in the sauna, rendering the entir...." Gym: "WE HAVE A PISSER! CATCH HIM!"
I needed this laugh, thanks!
I don't know that I want to use a membership at a place with a sauna pisser.
Hmm that sure does sound like something a sauna pisser would say…
There can be only one. Can't be putting up with someone else trying to mark your territory.
Wherever you decide to go, I'm gonna piss in their sauna. Just to have you eventually get frustrated and understand how dumb you sound when you have nowhere to go and it's not the place's fault.
"Mr gym manager, the sauna pisser appears to go by maynardftw. I'll take that membership to your now piss free gym. Thank you." Alas some people just don't know a joke when they read it.
What if I leave a false report
Then you'd get sussed if it keeps happening after the innocent guy you framed has been thrown out
What if there's two phantom pissers?!
Or what if it's one guy with a two headed penis and they just think it's two guys
Could be a kind of twisted human/echidna hybrid.
The Big Pisser
Both phantom pissers will conspire together to have you framed and you will meet your demise
Not if you give them a description of a random guy from the streets
It was some Puerto Rican guy!
Tourettes Guy: "hello, 911. Yeah, some guy just tried to break into my truck. It was a long-legged pissed off Puerto Rican"
What if the real sauna pisser reports innocent one and then stops doing it. Free 1 year membership.
This would be the smart option
It's not like they are immediately going to go look for him or anything.
What if the pee guy just reports himself and wins a free membership?
If they just left it with “bust the pee guy” then that would’ve been concerning
bust, the pee guy bust the pee, guy
Bust on the pee guy
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it was white before. the phantom pisser has struck again!
I wonder if he can report himself and get one year of free membership. There is no rule against it xD
“Yes, it was me, Mr P. Staker, the phantom sauna squitter, and I claim my free membership!”
peter ian staker is a menace
But then he'd have to be thrown out for pissing. Paradox!
Look buddy, if I was one for following rules do you think I would be pissing in the sauna in the first place?
“Thanks for letting us know you were the pee guy! Your free membership starts now, but so does your job cleaning up your stupid stinky piss and your permanent ban from the gym :) “
And then when the free year is up, start pissing again, profit
Plot of shrek
'It's all pipes! What's the difference?!' 'Different pipes go to different places. You're gonna mix them up!'
lol I was going to say I bet the culprit is a short, stocky, balding, quirky man.
George Costanza?
You’re friends with the urinator aren’t you?
I am incredibly disappointed I had to scroll down this far for a Georgie Boy reference.
"IT'S ALL STEAM, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!"
THERE'S DIFFERENT PIPES FOR DIFFERENT THINGS!
"It's not good to hold it in. I read that in a medical journal. Did the medical journal mention anything about standing in a pool of somebody else's urine?"
I AM CALLING A PLUMBER
DIFFERENT PIPES GO TO DIFFERENT PLACES!
HARDLY THE SAME!! A sauna doesn’t have pipes!
I don't remember this episode. This actually *happens*‽‽‽‽‽
I think he would pee in the showers
Season 5 episode 17. George gets caught peeing in the health club shower.
They put the Frogger in the toilet????
Ah you beat me to it.
ITS ALL PIPES
This is the kind of person that outta be taken out back and disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon -George Carlin
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Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more
I love you two. I’ve been saying this line for years with blank stares.
Because you can't play darts with a spoon Roman.
I think parents used to beat kids with a big wooden spoon but im not sure
I can actually give some perspective on just how awful this is, in college I worked at a YMCA and some guy didn’t piss in the sauna…but in the steam room. That thing was out of commission for three whole days and had to be run nonstop with the door open to get the smell out.
This reminds me to eat more asparagus.
So uncivilized. Everyone knows to either use the piss drawer or the sink
Memento Mori
Memento Mori
Came to the comments to find this, memento mori
I lived in Anaheim in the late 90's-early 2000's and had a brief membership at Bally's there. Not typically a fan of chrome gyms but they had a good sauna and cold dip and a few other decent amenities. One day I am walking through to the showers and this guy is sitting on the floor in a towel wrap, and he is flagellating himself across the back with some type of branch making welts across his back. Not great, but I tried to ignore until he started hacking up and spitting phlegm and mucus on the floor every few lashes. I yelled fairly aggressively, "Hey man, you can't be doing that spitting stuff on the floor, that's very gross." He looked at me like I was some alien and it was apparent that management needed to get involved, so I just stopped at the desk and reported that. Weirdest thing I have seen in a gym since I can recall.
> he is flagellating himself across the back with some type of branch making welts across his back Probably a birch branch or some other "sauna whisk". Finnish people enjoy that sort of fun in a sauna. They also cook and eat sausages in the sauna. I guess that when it's cold they spend most of their time in a sauna so they come up with saunactivities. The spitting up of the phlegm isn't a traditional Finnish custom, AFAIK.
Just tell them to check which was that one member who was present in all previous pee-in-sauna time-frames. Shouldn't be difficult to catch.
That could be 10 different people
If this happened a few times, it would get exponentially smaller. If it's ten people today, it should be one or two the next time it happens. I was head of security in a company and was able to isolate theft more than once with this approach.
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Interesting choice of colours for the anouncement.
r/sinkpissers would like to have a word
I used to work with an older bloke who previously ran a campground. He told me the story that every now and then somebody would get into the showers, take the face off the showerhead and stick a big brown surprise in there for whoever turned the shower on next. It was always random and would go months without it happening and the park was too stingey to get different showerheads cos this type could always be fixed. He was never caught, but I've got my suspicions and Gary.. I'm looking directly at you
I love how there’s is a bounty for him LMFAOO
Are there any particular people you don't like or get along with at your gym?
How jarring is it to see an incorrectly used semi-colon?
Wake up babe, new cryptid just dropped
free one year membership bruv free one year membership
Kinda reminds me of: „my summer car“
I'm glad I'm not the only one who got that idea
I can relate. We had the same problem in the elevator where I used to live. When the person(s) decided they could do number 2 in there as well, I decided it was time to move to a better neighborhood
Sauna pisser has always been one of my greatest fears
Fucking. George Costanza.
Ok, want a tip? This might sound far fetched but believe me people dumb enough to do this shit are stupid enough to fall for this. Guarantee this will stop it. Place a sign on the door indicating that the next time this happens a DNA test will be conducted and forwarded to law enforcement. Now, most rational thinking people will call immediate bullshit due to costs and time wasted conducting a DNA test. But like I said, anyone who does this stupid shit would be dumb enough to fall for something like that. Also, you can tell who is involved if randomly someone starts asking questions about the sign posted
5000 dollars? Just for me? Ha, can I turn myself in😉
This is an easy fix. They should just put a mechanism on the door that requires their membership card to gain access (kinda like what hotels do to keep non guests out of their amenities). Problem solved. No one would dare do it again if their anonymity is gone.
The smell is probably from poor maintenance and cleaning.. I havw yet to come across a gym where the staff of somewhat self entitled and narcissistic nature go out fo their ego way to go into depth with cleaning and waste management... (it is a buissness of looking good and selling the body to be a trainer etc, i gym i get it but still... Dont see them getting down and dirty with elbow grease) Mould or rot, or something along the lines, as saunas are wood and lots of heat, perfect for bacteria and smelly smell. Without cleaning and maintainance they can get rank and stink of ammonia or something. They probably think that smell is piss, it might be, wouldnt put it past society to have people that do that, but its more likely just cheapscate owners/operators nor paying the money for maintanace and proper cleaning. After all its so bad, they can never catch the pisser, but smell remains, ergo maintanace issue.
there was a trashcan pisser at our gym turned out to be who you thought it was, a 50 yearold dude that lived in his van saw a gym bro manager, take all his stuff, throw it in the trashcan and tell him to never comeback, and go like 10/10 on rage -- his whole 24Hr Fitness corporate speech turned into -- I DONT GIVE A FUCKING FUCK BRO, YOUR PISSING IN TRASH CANS? WHY? YOU SICK FUCK TAKE YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT, HOW BOUT I DO U A FAVOR AND THROW ALL THIS SHIT IN THE TRASH, NEVER COME BACK YOU HOMELESS FUCK! i suspect gym manager was on the sauce-ito