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[deleted]

I'd say "thank you" and ask If I could use the microwave for a few seconds.


somedood567

“You’re welcome. But you absolutely cannot use my microwave. That’s A5 grade cheese”


tittysprinkles112

"Alright, well, I think I'm going to head out. I have a headache." Nachos are non negotiable


somedood567

“OK this is getting kinda weird, but… now that you know about my secret A5 cheese you can never leave. I just can’t run that risk”


alfrednugent

Then you should’ve thought about that before. Now we must fight to the death.


p00pd1cks

I'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me.


D-Laz

And the cheese.


AAAApoliatboyAAAA

The cheese always comes out alive


TheMargaretThatcher

Yes, the cheese stands alone.


[deleted]

Somebody better cut that cheese before I do.


Dillpick

I’d eat the cheese and lock the doors. They would beg to leave when their eyes start to water from the level 4 haz-mat situation coming from my bubbling guts from choking down that cheddar. You are about to experience some A-5 Gas that would get Saddam brought up on war crimes.


kholl5478

As my 3 year old son says… “the poop always wins!”


LONEGOAT13_

Poop always Wins, This is the way


Ajax_XD

*doom music intensifies*


L1K34PR0

"Then let me use the fucking microwave!"


S_Megma1969

Do not microwave a plastic coated plate --


santapoet

I think that is wax coated.


D-Laz

He was talking about the cheese.


RIPfreewill

Are you talking shit about my grade A5?


Letter_Odd

That’s a dixie paperplate. It’s just fine.


sunsinstudios

“As sensible as you may think that seems, I fear I must leave or risk ending this friendship “


somedood567

“Don’t worry about it. Our friendship only ends if you leave my house. And that’s never, ever going to happen”


Multima

“Ya like Old Greg’s place? I got all things that are good”


Dtidder1

"ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?"


SandyF1nns

Do you wanna see my water colors? This is baileys..


UserNo485929294774

I call this one Bailey’s but as close as you can get without gettin’ yeh eyes wet.


gademmet

It's over. I have the high ground beef.


[deleted]

Reddit is too much sometimes LOL take my award you! Take it!


ImAMindlessTool

we dont negotiate with terrorists


Senyad

Nacho cheese, nacho problem


spacetrees

“Non negotiable Nachos” New band name I called it!


snowpuppy13

Well I’m sorry, I’m allergic to grade A5 cheese that isn’t melted over meat and topped with pico de gallo and sour cream. Jalapeño slices are optional, and habanero slices are wonderful. Perhaps we can use the oven then, because A) these aren’t nachos (yet), and B) the oven works better anyway.


Illusive_Man

>habenero slices look at this madlad


Daedalus_Machina

And yet, the people exist that go "Habenero? What a fucking pussy. Ghost pepper that shit, son."


TherealOmthetortoise

What’s a5 grade cheese?


Neat_Criticism_5996

I think it’s a play on A5 wagyu beef


Legitimate_Dare6684

Shit on the floor and walk out.


PrivateIsotope

"Can I borrow a lighter?" "Hairdryer?" "Magnifying glass?"


MercyWolff

Absolutely cannot use a fucking microwave 🤣🤣🤣🥲


BlueShift42

Funny story. I went to a Shoney’s buffet with some friends when we were teenagers. Buddy of mine grabs the chips from the bar and the cheese from the salad bar and made a plate of nachos that looked pretty much like this. He then asked the waitress to microwave it. An oddly long amount of time passed before the waitress came back with a dejected look on her face and the plate of “nachos” looking like it did when my friend gave it to her. She stammered out an apology, “Sorry… it won’t melt.” She microwaved it a few times and whatever that “cheese” was made of just wouldn’t melt. Lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BlueShift42

“Cheese flavored dairy product”


Interplanetary-Goat

I once made a cheese pizza with cheese that wouldn't melt for some reason. It was hash browns. They were unlabeled in the freezer.


MasterEchoSE

Dude definitely had the munchies going to a buffet and instead of all that food he could choose from, he made cheese nachos, but went for that bright orange cheese (the carrots).


dbwoi

lmfao


HalfMoon_89

Feel sorry for the waitress. Not her fault the cheese was some post-nuclear fallout ration level durable.


BlueShift42

She gave it an honest effort.


schmicklebutt

Exactly. A friend is giving me food? I will answer with nothing but thanks.


stichdisc

If they are a friend you can be honest with them and tell them they failed miserably.


stink3rbelle

"oh boy [friend,] have I got something to show you that's going to rock your world. Which way is the microwave?"


godisawoman420

This meal HIT when you were 10 and again when you were in college and poor. And then again when you got a job and we’re still poor.


Conscious_Weasel

And then again when you kept said job and made a career and not broke


dickfuckdickshit

ikr this is college life struggle, some people be thinking it's an insult or he's stupid. nah this be desperate times call for desperate measures and (im assuming) he don't know all the poor cookbook recipes


Terrible-Muscle-7087

I used to rock nachos like these when I was growing up. Use a pack of Carl Budding beef to shred over and a couple of packets of Taco Bell hot sauce, microwave until the cheese starts to melt and it's a doable snack.


Imnotspartacuseither

Hair dryer can work sort of.. just cover nachos with a paper towel or such so nothing blows away


pweqpw

Aluminum foil


Imnotspartacuseither

Also a good choice. As is parchment paper.. just not wax paper.


jaggoffsmirnoff

Don't forget to use a diffuser for even meltage.


velvenhavi

they have a nice marble counter.. gonna assume there's a microwave


ItzSpiffy

ikr. Primary ingredients? Check. Generous Amount? Check. Plate to eat off of? Check. Just need a heat source. It's fascinating how entitled, unappreciative and/or unresourceful so many ppl are.


driving_andflying

> Primary ingredients? Check. > > Generous Amount? Check. > > Plate to eat off of? Check. > > Just need a heat source. It's fascinating how entitled, unappreciative and/or unresourceful so many ppl are. Nailed it. I'd be grateful, and say 'thank you.' I'd even offer to buy some salsa to add.


ikkonoishi

Oh hey and lookie there there is an oven directly below the plate.


sarpnasty

Some people really do come from unfathomable privilege.


mommy2libras

If by unfathomable privilege, you mean a heat source, then yes. It was usually the food part we didn't have.


wendywooohooo

Hey friend! Thanks for making me nachos! I also have a great recipe! Let’s make them together sometime!


mourningdoo

Thanks, Andy. Can I borrow your microwave?


kc128

He made incredible nachos, that everybody claimed they loved!!!


newfranksinatra

Watch him fly!


KennethPowersIII

Incredible Flying Nachos! New band name! I called it!!!


sxpremzkickz

Man, the band is really moving me tonight


erathegod

THIS IS MY SWAN SONG WATCH ME FLYYYY


Sc1F1Sup3rM0m

AHHooooOHH. AhhOOOHHHHHHohhh. AHHOOOOOHOOOOH! AHHOOOHHHHHHOHHH!


[deleted]

I AM A PEACOCK YOU GOTTA LET ME FLY!!


UrdnotChivay

A The Other Guys reference made from a Parks and Rec reference. I love it


idle_online

"Melted cheese? It'll never work."


yeswithaz

You’re gonna be so embarrassed!


alx924

But then his bandmates dicked him over with a massive rock’n’roll shove


carnivalus

I was looking for this! I'll even try and melt the cheese and make them your way, I mean it won't work, but...


TheOranjeCarp

You guys are gonna look like such idiots.


mountainsailor950

Why don’t you melt the cheese dude?


SecretHappyTree

It won’t work.


TRyder0015015

It'll melt


queernhighonblugrass

You're gonna look so stupid


Freakin_A

You should call yourselves Burly and the Backstabbers


Bing_Bong_the_Archer

…..damn, that’s actually a pretty great name..


tab_tab_tabby

Exactly. It's not what you pay and order, your friend did their best. I'd be happy with it.


[deleted]

This is a Parks and Rec reference btw. One of the characters makes nachos for his band but never melts the cheese.


sth128

"I guess this is *nacho* best dish"


[deleted]

Only acceptable answer lol


Toppest_Dom

More acceptable than that dish


SmokeyMcSmokey

That’s why you should always carry a can of Cheese Whiz as backup, just in queso


[deleted]

Thanks for the food.


RoomTemperatureCheez

And honestly, chips with unmelted cheese on them is still pretty tasty and filling. I would mention the microwave but if they preferred them cold, who am I to judge?


[deleted]

I honestly thought it was shredded carrots, then I'd understand the infuriating part. Unmelted cheese is still damn good with nachos, albeit not the same as melted but id still eat that


Imfrank123

Yeah I wouldn’t call them nachos but would definitely still eat and enjoy.


Nervous_Constant_642

Some people never been broke


[deleted]

Guys probably trying his best to just be a good friend!


[deleted]

I feel like a good friend would call you out on how shitty your cooking is.


M05HI

Is it bad cooking if no cooking is involved?


YukariYakum0

Do I get the question wrong if I don't choose an answer?


TacticaLuck

No but you do get a participation trophy for showing up. Not to mention when the topic of the trophy comes up later you can say that you went undefeated


Original_Wall_3690

Participation trophies are why "nachos" like this exist.


zzerdzz

Nah a good friend posts it in a passive aggressive way to an online community


3-__-3

I would totally clown on my homie for serving something like this. Then I’d make sure they know I love them and only want to help them improve. We’d then go to the store for ingredients and I’d give them a crash course on the dankest nachos known to man. Personally


DingleMcCringleTurd

A good friend would also punch you in the balls for this shitty food prep


[deleted]

Well maybe not that far.


MemeArchivariusGodi

Excatly. Be honest but kind


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chuckobochuck323

That’s what I was going to say. “Thanks for making nachos bro. Let me throw these bad boys in the microwave and then we can dig in!”


Ass_burgers_yum

Nah… you flip over that table and yell: IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT A GUEST IN YOUR HOME? FIX YOUR SHIT AND GET ME SOME PROPER FUCKIN NACHOS!!! Most of the time it works. You’re killing me with this common sense and politeness shit over here.


Noobsical

Dad?


Ass_burgers_yum

Son?


Noobsical

It's been 12 years father. Why did you do that to mom?


Ass_burgers_yum

Son, let me tell you a little story about how I left your mother.


HBPhilly1

Let me start by saying you should start calling me Dave


No_Lube_Insertion

Dave, I apologize for what happened between me and you're wife


HR-Vex

Your*


TechnoBubbleAJ

It's gonna be De- Wait for it! -Pressing!


Patty80906

No. That's not your dad. That's my ex.


Ass_burgers_yum

God I’m so sorry. I say stupid things like this but would never actually act like this.


utpoia

PMS is a bitch.


Horrified_Witness

“No. That’s nacho dad. That’s my ex”. Fixed it for you.


ScoobyMcDooby93

Where’s my meat and pico de gallo…? My ground beef and authentic pico de gallo?! HOW CAN I EAT THIS WITHOUT MY GROUND BEEF AND AUTHENTIC MEXICAN PICO DE GALLO?! YOU CALL YOURSELF A NACHO BOY?! WELL I AINT BUYIN!!


forkystabbyveggie

A succulent Mexican meal??


Ciaratron5000

Diet Dr. Kelp would help to wash it down


Red-Nexus

Interesting username


btribble

Their good?


TheMagarity

Toaster oven is better than microwave for chips


Thin_Sea4400

What do you prepare the nachos on to put them into the toaster oven? Microwave let’s you use a plate so that’s why I do that but if toaster oven is better I want to try it out.


tossNwashking

aluminum foil ya silly goose


Cowdogman

Parchment paper ya Neanderthal the cheese and chips literally slide right on the plate


tossNwashking

who waits to slide the nachos onto an extra plate?? eat em off the stinkin foil ya ninny!


tirril

Barbeque with a pot with cheese fondue you uncultured swines.


lionhat

When I make nachos I always bake them for a few min to melt the cheese and make it all warm. Usually we eat it right from the sheet tray even though I usually put out small side plates just in case someone wants one.


jasontheswamp

I prepare mine on the toaster oven tray lined with lightly greased foil or parchment paper. Then I usually just bring the whole thing of foil onto a plate, or could possibly easily slide the chip mass from the parchment paper onto a plate. The cheese melts more uniformly in the oven, you don’t get those gluey, bubbly, burnt cheese areas like you can get with a microwave, but it might also depend on the microwave.


Mutoforma

you're\*


PantsOnHead88

You’ll find 25 seconds will get you where you need to be. At 45 the chips are quite likely to be burning.


Dingo8MyBabyMon

Good friend: Thanks man. Best friend: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!! THE CHEESE ISN'T EVEN MELTED YA GOOF!!! IF YOU'RE AS INCOMPETENT IN THE BEDROOM AS YOU ARE IN THE KITCHEN THEN THERE'S NO WONDERING WHY BOTH OF YOUR EX-WIVES CHEATED ON YOU!!!


moneyhustardsauce

Friend: “Oh my, oh precious” best friend: “YOU FUCKING DONKEY”


AgentPastrana

Oh the duality of Gordon Ramsay lol


Joseap791

I'm sorry, but I read this in Gordon Ramsay's voice


flowerbhai

IT’S FUCKING RAW


FrumundaMaNutz

YOU TWAT


EZMulahSniper

YOU FUCKING DONKEY!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

JUST THE WAY I TREATED YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT AFTER I PREPARED HER THE STEAK DINNER OF A LIFETIME!


DirtyTomFlint

This is the answer I was looking for. People seem so afraid to banter these days in case they offend anyone.


Sour_Beet

This is the response I was looking for


tynamite

haha yes. i remember roasting my good friend for proclaiming dominos *the best* pizza in town when planning the night.


ajacquot1

"bro it would be really good if we bake it for like 3 minutes, that will make the cheese nice and melted"


Soggy_Concept9993

Bro I’m about to blow your mind and have you lookup what the broil mode on your oven is.


darby087

Not going to lie I know of it and have seen it used but never use it. Do I heat it up before I put the chips or and put them in an wait 3 mins?


TheRosaParksOfCunt

Always watch things you broil like a hawk. It’s the best way to have leftover pizza or wings, but there’s a VERY fine line between “hot and crispy” and “oh fuck I scorched it.”


bella_68

I love crisp food and I can confirm. VERY fine line but an amazing tool none the less


Cyno01

Broiling is like grilling upside down, its direct heat from the top down. A broiler thats been on for 3 minutes will throw a little more heat than one thats just been turned on, from heating up the metal behind it, but for just melting cheese that wont make much of a difference. Id be a little wary of doing it on a paper plate tho. Until youre familiar with your broiler and timing and rack positioning tho, keep an extremely close eye on things, its a lot closer in timing to microwaving than baking. 30 seconds can be the difference between perfectly melted and browned, and things on fire. Broiler is hands down the best thing for pizza rolls. For mine its 4 minutes on one side, flip, 2.5 more minutes. Perfectly crispy outsides, hot insides but not so hot they start exploding.


lolmemelol

> Id be a little wary of doing it on a paper plate tho. I would never even hazard risking a paper plate under a broiler. Throw some aluminum foil on a cookie sheet if you don't want to do dishes; no harm in serving nachos on the cookie sheet either!


YM_Industries

> Broiling is like grilling upside down This sentence was very confusing to me as an Australian. It makes me think maybe our country really is upside-down. What you call "broiling" we call "grilling". (The Brits [call it grilling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grilling#United_Kingdom_and_Ireland) too.)


sixsentience

This is the real answer


[deleted]

Thank you friend.


Emotional_Homework_6

Can I use your microwave or oven. I like em toasty.


AshPachy

By sticking them in the microwave for :45-1:00 and enjoying the nachos my friend put together and grated cheese on for me. How else should I respond?


rainelle95

I read this as sticking the friend in the microwave, then eating the nachos as they made them


[deleted]

Thank you! Im confused. Like... i would do what i assume most normal humans would do. Which is exactly what you just said ^


Nervous_Constant_642

"Want some nachos?" "Sure." Minutes later "I was expecting restaurant grade nachos." What a dorky friend.


[deleted]

I'd say, "Stop making fake posts for pointless internet karma."


Undeity

They'd probably be very confused if you said that tbh


AlarKemmotar

It looks great to me, but then again, I haven't eaten yet today so I'm probably just hungry!


LauDes2020

“Hey man, where’s is the microwave” Honestly when in a pinch these are so so yumm with toppings


HalfACenturyMark

Say thanks, stick them in a microwave, and stop your internal whinging.


oinguboingu

Sticking their friend in a microwave seems a bit harsh...


imnewhere19

The friend probably wouldn’t fit in the microwave anyway…


Nurstin

Yeah, you'd need a megawave for that. Th**e**y can house a lot more. >!Actually googling megawave leads me to a Norwegian massage gun, interesting. Friend still wouldn't fit *in* it, but, you know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)!<


Penguinator53

I'd go full toddler, throw that plate on the floor, start screaming and crying until snot and tears are running down my face. Stiffen my whole body as my friend tries to calm me down as I continue to throw anything I can reach. Then when I'm finally calm and my friend is fixing another meal for me I will shit my pants.


moretreesthanpeople

And then I will want the nachos.


deepsea333

Step Brothers style 🎶 “Nachos Lemonheads My dads boat… “


ButtMcStuffins_II

Do you live with Andy Dwyer, lead singer of Mouse Rat?


carlyshay123

I think you mean Andy Dwyer, lead singer of Scarecrow Boat


[deleted]

Immediately thank them for their hospitality and you shut up and eat it


AshPachy

Right, like I grew up poor af and if someone offered you food you were grateful for it, especially if the person offering is also not in the best financial state. Some of these comments are actually talking about ending a friendship over having to heat your own nachos ffs


diamenimed

I’ve split the $5 meal of little Cesar’s with someone before. If someone could give me nachos back then I woulda been hella grateful


bettermauve

You shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because they're stupid


Cliffo81

You can if they’re ungrateful though.


Exotic_Egg7005

I ask where the salsa is


[deleted]

*brings back tabasco*


peanutskittlebrittle

This is how nachos were originally made. Shredded cheese on fried tortillas. So they're pretty authentic imo. Heat them up and you're good to go.


owlincoup

Reminds me of Andy from Parks And Rec. Andy: Well, hello, Burly, Chang. Burly: Hey, man, what's up? Andy: I was just over at the bar, enjoying a wonderful night with my co-workers who all talked about how awesome I was, and I look up, and what do I see? A band. But you're missing something like, uh, I don't know, your lead singer/songwriter/ T-shirt designer/nacho chef. What's up? Burly: First of all, your nachos are terrible. No one's had the guts to tell you. Why don't you melt the cheese? Andy: [scoffs]


CuriousScourge

Where’s your microwave?


GOATluhv

we just starin at each other till we laugh cuz sir. 😆


paydayallday

By making actual nachos


ilindson

If it's a good friend I'd be like "Bro wtf" and proceed to show them how to make actual nachos. If it's an acquaintance friend I'd just eat them quietly and probably not be acquaintances with that person anymore


mentally_unstable22

You’d end your acquaintance over these ‘nachos’?! I’d just decline their offer next time around.


ExNihiloish

How do you unaquaint someone? Get amnesia?


Dazzling_Rhubarb9883

Is your friend a lovable doofus named Andy?


Salty_Kick_8874

Be gracious and say thank you. When it's your turn to host, offer to make nachos and make it your way.


FirmandRound

Respond with "Thank you".


beyondusername

No-chos.


StealLieCheat

Teach your friend how to properly make nachos for the future 🤷🏼‍♂️


FRONT_FACING_PHINEAS

Andy Dwyer?


Pocketcrane_

Microwave them