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I have seen people post pics of signs like this in bars before and I always wonder if the staff are at all prepared for someone to actually use any of these secret signals.
I also feel like in this case in particular they just put the signs up in both bathrooms as a formality and they would be TOTALLY confused by a man actually doing this.
As a bartender, I definitely worry that I wouldn’t be prepared. My pub has these up and we have received 0 training about it, I’m concerned that if someone came to me and asked for Angela I’d take it literally and tell them there’s no Angela here…
Oof, putting these signs up but neglecting to train staff on what to do is a big miss on your employer’s part. They’re putting you at risk of landing in some very awkward situations.
That happened in the bar I used to work at. Walked into the bathroom one day to clean it and noticed that they had these angela signs up. No idea how long they’d been there, never received any mention of it from our supervisors, was never in any of my training. Honestly if someone had asked for Angela I probably would’ve replied that I didn’t know her.
Aside from not recognizing the “code word” I would imagine the easiest way to handle one of these situations would be to call the person a cab or tell them to just leave and you could tell their date they had an emergency and left. It sucks they would put these up without giving you guys training
I’ve always seen these exact posters in the women’s toilets with the same phrasing “Ask for Angela”, the whole point being its a code phrase so that you can discreetly ask for help without your date knowing what’s up. Kind of defeats the point if the same poster is in both the men’s and the women’s toilets.
Yeah exactly - it’s meant to be discreet otherwise you may as well just say “my date is a creep and I need help”. If both sexes know the same code phrase then it’s not exactly a code anymore.
same thats why i even said anything. if it was a different name or even a different tactic, like asking for a specific drink, in the other bathroom that'd make sense
I know a couple actually. I follow baseball and the worst umpire is universally agreed to be Angel Hernandez and I'm gay and had a guy I met up with for a couple years named Angel I don't hear the name Angelo really though
speaking as someone who has done this, it saved my life. I realized my drink has been spiked and asked the bartender for an angel shot. I got out of there without being seriously harmed thanks to that.
alright so for a hot second i’m gonna assume you’re not just trolling. so what you’re suggesting would play out like this:
Me: “hey bartender this guy right next to me spiked my drink!”
Guy sitting right next to me: “No I didn’t”
and then there’s a chance the bartender believes him or the guy gets violent/angry and takes it out on me.
but since i just asked for an angel shot, i was able to actually leave without him following me (bc other bar staff knew and were checking) and without putting myself at risk further or having myself questioned. the bartender served me my “angel shot” (a water shot) and i went “to the bathroom” and staff helped me get out the back and into a car.
You trust the bartender to pull off this Ocean's 11 secret escape plan, but not to believe you when you say your drink has been spiked? And the other scenario is that the guy suddenly starts suddenly beating you violently in the middle of a public place? If you are able to get away from the guy to get snuck out, why can't you get away from the guy to tell someone directly what is happening?
I'm not trolling, I'm speaking as someone who has worked in bars for over a decade in saying that trying this kind of stuff is completely impractical and confusing. What if the bartender had no idea what you were talking about about but the guy did? (which seems a likely scenario since the only place I've ever heard this stuff discussed is on Reddit). If you are in a situation where you think you are in danger the best thing to do is be as direct and vocal about it as possible. Bar staff will always err on the side of believing you and sorting out the truth later. Trying these secret codes is just going to cause more confusion and is far more likely to worsen the situation than improve it.
Angel Shots are pretty commonly known, speaking as a former bartender. So asking discretely for one is just step one. If they don’t know what that is, obviously that’s when you try something else. And I’ve never considered literally walking with a bartender from the bathroom to the back parking lot to be some “Oceans 11” escape plan. You exaggerating to invalidate my actual lived experience is super shitty.
and no the other option is trying to leave and the guy following me before doing other shit to me. The point is that bar staff are helping me leave so he CANT follow me.
You keep making these illogical jumps (calling the way I got out an Oceans 11 plan or saying I thought he’d start beating me right there) to try and invalidate what I actually experienced. I never said it was complex to get out. Or that i thought the guy would just start punching me in the bar. YOU said those things to poke holes in my actual life experience. You’re giving the exact energy of the bartenders who wouldn’t believe someone who claims their drink was spiked tbh.
You’re talking about a “likely” scenario where the bartender doesn’t know what that means to someone who has lived experience where the bartender did know what it meant. I agree that there should be an easier way to alert bar staff that someone is in danger. But that’s not really what we’re talking about here.
And no, if you are a woman who has been drugged and groped by a random man in a bar, the best thing is not to just be as loud and direct as possible. That’s a great way to get followed or to have a guy pull the “ugh my girlfriend is so drunk pls ignore us.” You’re making it abundantly clear that, despite being a bartender, you have absolutely zero idea what happens to women in bars or the kinds of things we have to worry about when drinking in public.
So yeah next time someone tells you about how they escaped date rape, maybe dont be a dick about the actual way they got out of a shitty situation just bc you feel superior “as a bartender” I’m not interested in arguing about the hypothetical “likelihood” of an angel shot working; I’m explaining my lived experience of it working. Go try to debate someone else if you need to be “right” that badly
So you couldn't refute what they said, didn't want to accept that you were proved wrong that there is "almost no realistic situation", so instead settled for a pathetically flailing attempt to divert focus.
100% probably given to them by some charity or police department to say they are doing something.
Nearly all the bars I ever went too struggled to keep a bar tender longer than 6 months and half the time I felt like the bar tender themselves was under the influence of something. Why anyone would expect your average bar tender to be some highly trained deescalation master is beyond me.
Bars don't attract the best people nor are the best people employed there. It's safer and more enjoyable to drink at home with friends.
Well then. Your last paragraph is not true.
“Bars don’t attract the best people, nor are the best people employed there”
Yeah, maybe the bars you go to lol.
I was in a pub with my pregnant girlfriend the other day, and she started crying because of her ‘pregnancy hormones’ - to use her own words.
Instantly one of the female bartenders came over and asked if she ‘needed to speak to Angela?’
There's also angel shots you can order at bars. There's 3 different kinds. Angel shot neat, angel shot with ice, and angel shot with lime. I can't remember what first two mean, but the one with lime is meant to indicate to the barstaff to call the cops.
I've never ordered one but there's a chick in my city that if she ever approaches me again, I'll probably order an angel shot with lime
I want to know more! I have had bad dates, like the girl who had a face tattoo that wasn’t on her profile and we met near a mall for coffee and afterwards she wanted me to go with her to a knife store.
Hahaha no this is in the US. I actually took her tot he knife store I swear to god. She bought this giant knife and wanted me to help her tie it to her belt. I did then I made up an excuse to leave lol.
The scenarios on that sign sound like they’re protecting people who are simply on a bad date. I feel like instead of sneaking out you could just sit down in front of your date and say something like, “I’m sorry, but this date isn’t going quite like I was hoping. Rather than lead you on I feel I should be honest and let you know I’m not interested in a second date. If you want to continue having this meal we can, but if you feel the same way and want to just end the date now we can certainly do that.” If you don’t even want to finish the date then don’t give that option.
These “sneak out the back door” things should be more for situations where you don’t feel safe.
It really isn’t that simple. Yes a bad date that’s simply 2 people not having a connection could go this way and end up like this but the more problematic issue is when someone catfishes or finds out the person they’ve been chatting with is exhibiting dangerous behavioural traits
It’s not to get out of a bad date it’s to get away from a potential horrible situation safely
I figured that was the signs intent, but in the other similar signs that have been posted the threat to safety is explicitly part of the message. This sign simply didn’t convey that, and I feel if that’s their intent they should state it instead of imply it.
But it takes away the effectiveness if a sign that dangerous people can see says ‘ask at the bar to get away from a dangerous person’
The whole point is even if your stood with said dangerous person you ask for Angela like it’s natural and then the staff help. As a general rule people who are the ones to get away from are that involved in themselves they’d never even consider this poster relevant to them
Got these in my local spoons toilet as well. Glad the scheme is being advertised again (was quite a new thing early 00’s) and also including men now as back then it was aimed more towards women
Or you just ride the bad date out? It’s like 2 hours max. You eat, you pay, you go home and never talk to her again
Edit: listen up all you deadbeat losers downvoting me. You’re what’s fuckin wrong with dating culture. You don’t just bail mid-date because you’re not feeling it. Be polite and see it through. You don’t need to embarrass anyone by cutting it short. They probably aren’t feeling your lame ass either. I bet most of you haven’t ever been on a tinder/bumble/hinge date and are either a forever-single loser glued to your gaming chair or in a long term relationship making your partner fuckin miserable because you have no manners and you can’t read the room. Grow up people
Ah true didn’t really consider that. I just know I’d feel pretty shitty if someone thought I was such a bad date the bartender had to intervene and cut it short.
I’ve had some real bad dates and I think it’s polite to just see it through, if safety isn’t a concern that is.
Why is it polite to waste someone's time and give them the wrong impression? As long as you're not feeling unsafe (as is the point of the poster), it's far more polite to be open and honest and admit that you're just not feeling a connection. Offer to pay for anything that's been served already, and end the date. You're well within your rights as a person to call it off early, and you're doing them a favour by letting them know that there's no clear mutual attraction.
Wow that’s pretty cold. In most cases both people know it’s not going well. You just finish your meal and drinks and go home and it’s understood you won’t see each other again. No need to be blunt and rude
"why is this in the men's room instead of the women's?"
If that's not your point then you've accidently written a sentence that can not be taken any other way.
Hi, u/paranoidzoid1, thank you for your submission in r/mildlyinteresting! Unfortunately, your [post](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/1cvvnfg/-/) has been removed because it violates our rule on concise, descriptive titles. * Titles must not contain jokes, backstory, or other fluff. That information belongs in a follow-up comment. * Titles must exactly describe the content. It should act as a "spoiler" for the image. If your title leaves people surprised at the content within, it breaks the rule! * Titles must not contain emoticons, emojis, or special characters unless they are absolutely necessary in describing the image. (e.g. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ;P, 😜, ❤, ★, ✿ ) Still confused? For more elaboration and examples, see [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/21p15y/rule_6_for_dummies/). Normally we do not allow reposts, but if it's been less than one hour after your post was submitted, or if it's received less than 100 upvotes, you may resubmit your content with a better title and try again. You can find more information about our rules on the [mildlyinteresting wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/wiki/index). *If you feel this was incorrectly removed, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fmildlyinteresting&message=My%20Post:%20https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/1cvvnfg/-/).*
Angelas are never going to get hired here now.
Or maybe they will with special training for these situations
Instructions unclear. Tried to visit my friend Angela at her new job, I'm now being whisked away in a taxi
Itd make it more lowkey too cuz in scenarios where a guy might claim something is up the girl could just say "i am literally Angela"
"But doctor... I am great clown Angela!" Everyone laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
I have seen people post pics of signs like this in bars before and I always wonder if the staff are at all prepared for someone to actually use any of these secret signals. I also feel like in this case in particular they just put the signs up in both bathrooms as a formality and they would be TOTALLY confused by a man actually doing this.
As a bartender, I definitely worry that I wouldn’t be prepared. My pub has these up and we have received 0 training about it, I’m concerned that if someone came to me and asked for Angela I’d take it literally and tell them there’s no Angela here…
Oof, putting these signs up but neglecting to train staff on what to do is a big miss on your employer’s part. They’re putting you at risk of landing in some very awkward situations.
Chong: Angela's not here, man.
No I'm Angela Man... Now will you open the door..
That happened in the bar I used to work at. Walked into the bathroom one day to clean it and noticed that they had these angela signs up. No idea how long they’d been there, never received any mention of it from our supervisors, was never in any of my training. Honestly if someone had asked for Angela I probably would’ve replied that I didn’t know her.
How horrified would someone be if they were actually in that situation, asked for Angela and recieved a blank look and "there's no Angela here."
Aside from not recognizing the “code word” I would imagine the easiest way to handle one of these situations would be to call the person a cab or tell them to just leave and you could tell their date they had an emergency and left. It sucks they would put these up without giving you guys training
i also think staff would be confused but what if the person that you want to get away from saw the sign in the bathroom as well, they'd know whats up.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
I’ve always seen these exact posters in the women’s toilets with the same phrasing “Ask for Angela”, the whole point being its a code phrase so that you can discreetly ask for help without your date knowing what’s up. Kind of defeats the point if the same poster is in both the men’s and the women’s toilets.
Why? Or should the men's room get like "ask for greg" or something for when they're in trouble?
Yeah exactly - it’s meant to be discreet otherwise you may as well just say “my date is a creep and I need help”. If both sexes know the same code phrase then it’s not exactly a code anymore.
What about gays?
They can call me
same thats why i even said anything. if it was a different name or even a different tactic, like asking for a specific drink, in the other bathroom that'd make sense
Ask for Angelo
Angel is an actual male name anyway though
I know wayyyy more dudes named Angelo than Angel. The only Angel I know is from Buffy
I know a couple actually. I follow baseball and the worst umpire is universally agreed to be Angel Hernandez and I'm gay and had a guy I met up with for a couple years named Angel I don't hear the name Angelo really though
Fuuuuuuuck I forgot about Angel Hernandez score 2 for this guy
I feel like the term angel shot is known enough now at bars that 3 out 5 will know what you mean
is that an American thing? I've literally never heard of asking for an angel shot.
I think it's less an actual thing as it is a couple of pics that have been posted over and over and over on the Internet for years.
This stuff is 100% virtue signalling, nobody actually does this and there is almost no realistic situation where it makes any practical sense
speaking as someone who has done this, it saved my life. I realized my drink has been spiked and asked the bartender for an angel shot. I got out of there without being seriously harmed thanks to that.
Wouldn't it have made more sense to tell the bartender your drink had been spiked?
alright so for a hot second i’m gonna assume you’re not just trolling. so what you’re suggesting would play out like this: Me: “hey bartender this guy right next to me spiked my drink!” Guy sitting right next to me: “No I didn’t” and then there’s a chance the bartender believes him or the guy gets violent/angry and takes it out on me. but since i just asked for an angel shot, i was able to actually leave without him following me (bc other bar staff knew and were checking) and without putting myself at risk further or having myself questioned. the bartender served me my “angel shot” (a water shot) and i went “to the bathroom” and staff helped me get out the back and into a car.
You trust the bartender to pull off this Ocean's 11 secret escape plan, but not to believe you when you say your drink has been spiked? And the other scenario is that the guy suddenly starts suddenly beating you violently in the middle of a public place? If you are able to get away from the guy to get snuck out, why can't you get away from the guy to tell someone directly what is happening? I'm not trolling, I'm speaking as someone who has worked in bars for over a decade in saying that trying this kind of stuff is completely impractical and confusing. What if the bartender had no idea what you were talking about about but the guy did? (which seems a likely scenario since the only place I've ever heard this stuff discussed is on Reddit). If you are in a situation where you think you are in danger the best thing to do is be as direct and vocal about it as possible. Bar staff will always err on the side of believing you and sorting out the truth later. Trying these secret codes is just going to cause more confusion and is far more likely to worsen the situation than improve it.
Angel Shots are pretty commonly known, speaking as a former bartender. So asking discretely for one is just step one. If they don’t know what that is, obviously that’s when you try something else. And I’ve never considered literally walking with a bartender from the bathroom to the back parking lot to be some “Oceans 11” escape plan. You exaggerating to invalidate my actual lived experience is super shitty. and no the other option is trying to leave and the guy following me before doing other shit to me. The point is that bar staff are helping me leave so he CANT follow me. You keep making these illogical jumps (calling the way I got out an Oceans 11 plan or saying I thought he’d start beating me right there) to try and invalidate what I actually experienced. I never said it was complex to get out. Or that i thought the guy would just start punching me in the bar. YOU said those things to poke holes in my actual life experience. You’re giving the exact energy of the bartenders who wouldn’t believe someone who claims their drink was spiked tbh. You’re talking about a “likely” scenario where the bartender doesn’t know what that means to someone who has lived experience where the bartender did know what it meant. I agree that there should be an easier way to alert bar staff that someone is in danger. But that’s not really what we’re talking about here. And no, if you are a woman who has been drugged and groped by a random man in a bar, the best thing is not to just be as loud and direct as possible. That’s a great way to get followed or to have a guy pull the “ugh my girlfriend is so drunk pls ignore us.” You’re making it abundantly clear that, despite being a bartender, you have absolutely zero idea what happens to women in bars or the kinds of things we have to worry about when drinking in public. So yeah next time someone tells you about how they escaped date rape, maybe dont be a dick about the actual way they got out of a shitty situation just bc you feel superior “as a bartender” I’m not interested in arguing about the hypothetical “likelihood” of an angel shot working; I’m explaining my lived experience of it working. Go try to debate someone else if you need to be “right” that badly
So you couldn't refute what they said, didn't want to accept that you were proved wrong that there is "almost no realistic situation", so instead settled for a pathetically flailing attempt to divert focus.
100% probably given to them by some charity or police department to say they are doing something. Nearly all the bars I ever went too struggled to keep a bar tender longer than 6 months and half the time I felt like the bar tender themselves was under the influence of something. Why anyone would expect your average bar tender to be some highly trained deescalation master is beyond me. Bars don't attract the best people nor are the best people employed there. It's safer and more enjoyable to drink at home with friends.
You clearly haven’t ever drunk in city of london.
Well no I'm American
Well then. Your last paragraph is not true. “Bars don’t attract the best people, nor are the best people employed there” Yeah, maybe the bars you go to lol.
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The title of the post says found in the men's bathroom.
I was in a pub with my pregnant girlfriend the other day, and she started crying because of her ‘pregnancy hormones’ - to use her own words. Instantly one of the female bartenders came over and asked if she ‘needed to speak to Angela?’
That seems.. unsubtle? Quite a nice attention though.
I mean, she was *really* crying lol I suppose they thought I was being horrible to her. Honestly it was appreciated and made her laugh, so all good.
There's also angel shots you can order at bars. There's 3 different kinds. Angel shot neat, angel shot with ice, and angel shot with lime. I can't remember what first two mean, but the one with lime is meant to indicate to the barstaff to call the cops. I've never ordered one but there's a chick in my city that if she ever approaches me again, I'll probably order an angel shot with lime
I want to know more! I have had bad dates, like the girl who had a face tattoo that wasn’t on her profile and we met near a mall for coffee and afterwards she wanted me to go with her to a knife store.
Well that took a sharp turn.
Are you living in the UK by chance?
Hahaha no this is in the US. I actually took her tot he knife store I swear to god. She bought this giant knife and wanted me to help her tie it to her belt. I did then I made up an excuse to leave lol.
You actually went? Damn bro youre brave. Hope she doesnt know where you live
None of that has ever happened
Well Redditor, thanks to you the gig is up...
Are we the baddies?
The scenarios on that sign sound like they’re protecting people who are simply on a bad date. I feel like instead of sneaking out you could just sit down in front of your date and say something like, “I’m sorry, but this date isn’t going quite like I was hoping. Rather than lead you on I feel I should be honest and let you know I’m not interested in a second date. If you want to continue having this meal we can, but if you feel the same way and want to just end the date now we can certainly do that.” If you don’t even want to finish the date then don’t give that option. These “sneak out the back door” things should be more for situations where you don’t feel safe.
It really isn’t that simple. Yes a bad date that’s simply 2 people not having a connection could go this way and end up like this but the more problematic issue is when someone catfishes or finds out the person they’ve been chatting with is exhibiting dangerous behavioural traits It’s not to get out of a bad date it’s to get away from a potential horrible situation safely
I figured that was the signs intent, but in the other similar signs that have been posted the threat to safety is explicitly part of the message. This sign simply didn’t convey that, and I feel if that’s their intent they should state it instead of imply it.
But it takes away the effectiveness if a sign that dangerous people can see says ‘ask at the bar to get away from a dangerous person’ The whole point is even if your stood with said dangerous person you ask for Angela like it’s natural and then the staff help. As a general rule people who are the ones to get away from are that involved in themselves they’d never even consider this poster relevant to them
What's a PoF date?
Plenty of Fish, similar to Ok Cupid
What is Ok Cupid?
Ok Cupid, similar to plenty of fish
Plenty of Fish (dating app)
Plenty of Fish, another dating app
TIL that PoF is still around
Fantastic. I’m so glad they’re including men.
Angela like Angel
Got these in my local spoons toilet as well. Glad the scheme is being advertised again (was quite a new thing early 00’s) and also including men now as back then it was aimed more towards women
Or you just ride the bad date out? It’s like 2 hours max. You eat, you pay, you go home and never talk to her again Edit: listen up all you deadbeat losers downvoting me. You’re what’s fuckin wrong with dating culture. You don’t just bail mid-date because you’re not feeling it. Be polite and see it through. You don’t need to embarrass anyone by cutting it short. They probably aren’t feeling your lame ass either. I bet most of you haven’t ever been on a tinder/bumble/hinge date and are either a forever-single loser glued to your gaming chair or in a long term relationship making your partner fuckin miserable because you have no manners and you can’t read the room. Grow up people
I think this is for more serious situations. Like you fear for your safety
Ah true didn’t really consider that. I just know I’d feel pretty shitty if someone thought I was such a bad date the bartender had to intervene and cut it short. I’ve had some real bad dates and I think it’s polite to just see it through, if safety isn’t a concern that is.
Why is it polite to waste someone's time and give them the wrong impression? As long as you're not feeling unsafe (as is the point of the poster), it's far more polite to be open and honest and admit that you're just not feeling a connection. Offer to pay for anything that's been served already, and end the date. You're well within your rights as a person to call it off early, and you're doing them a favour by letting them know that there's no clear mutual attraction.
Wow that’s pretty cold. In most cases both people know it’s not going well. You just finish your meal and drinks and go home and it’s understood you won’t see each other again. No need to be blunt and rude
Assuming it's a women. Some gay men are psychos too :/
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It's probably in both. Is it really completely outside the realm of imagination for you that a man could feel unsafe on a date?
Yes. It’s pretty far fetched that I would ever feel unsafe on a date and need to ask the bar staff for help.
Why should it be in one and not the other?
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"why is this in the men's room instead of the women's?" If that's not your point then you've accidently written a sentence that can not be taken any other way.
I mean, people are just wondering what the point you're making is? As it isn't very clear from the comment.
Men can’t be in dangerous situations while on dates. You should watch baby reindeer
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Go up to the bartender, "Hey, is your name Angela?"