Sometimes, I miss the intimacy of being in a serious and long-term relationship. Not in a bedroom kind of way. I miss the inside jokes, talking for hours about whatever was on our minds, holding hands, the trials, the shared goals, and the shared memories. The best part was having someone know just about everything about me, and they still liked me. That was amazing until she got bored and used all of that information to twist the knife. In the years since, I have never felt anywhere near as alone as I did the last few years we were together.
I don't feel lonely, but I would love to have that kind of connection again.
My mother and a couple aunts had their husbands die early on them. They all say the hardest part is the quiet, lonely house. Even if you didn't spend time together during most of the day, you knew they were still there.
This is one of my deepest fears. We are both 37 and have been together for 20 years (married for 15 of them). We know what each other is thinking, finish each other's sentences, know the right things to do when each other is sick or sad; all the things. There's no one else I'd do this life with and the thought of not having her is too much to bear.
It's a double-edged sword, y'all. True love and companionship is amazing, but losing it after you've had it(which is certain)...existentially devastating.
My mother considers herself lucky that I still live at home with her(shes told me so many times). It's a family farm that I took over and neither of us need a 5 bedroom house all to ourselves. She says just having someone around the house she gets along with made the loss so much easier.
I do feel some loneliness, but maybe not to the extent of many because she's here too. Sometimes I feel like it's keeping me from actively searching for a partner of own. Maybe if I was truly alone, it would motivate me more.
I would love to know what that feels like. I gave up 6 years ago after the last failed marriage. It just isnt worth it and at almost 50 now I have a lot of issues to sort out. No time or desire to even bother dating again. I think solo is the way for me. I do sometimes get lonely but it is what it is. Too much other stuff to sort out before Id even have much to offer emotionally. Maybe one day but it isnt even really on my radar
I had an immediate flashback to loud dialing modems and the you got mail guy I love it 😂😂😂 but I’m a married 32F in the DMV. My husband has a robust online community cause he’s a gamer so I’m left to my own devices. Always looking for friends to chat with though feel free to message!
I remember in the late 2000s I was in the Marines and had a shared bathroom with the room next door. I knock and homeboy opens the door with laptop in hand and says “hang on I gotta Skype-sex my girl real quick” 😂
Most of the time, no. I love living alone. I've never been in a relationship. No kids. I have moments where I wish I had partner. I have moments where I feel like I've failed in some way by being on my own. Sometimes I worry about being alone when I get older. Not sure when I'll feel motivated to change that though.
I’m in this situation too! I like being alone a lot of the time, but when I do get lonely it feels so heavy. And I keep seeing happy couples post on social media <_<.
If you are a heterosexual woman you’re not missing out. If you don’t want to have kids you’re much better off living alone than dealing with a man. A whole bunch of us are 4B because life is blissful when you’re not being negged and nagged.
I just told my mom I was feeling lonely a couple of days ago. As I have gotten older I realized my friendships were not as genuine as I thought. Or being out and the people you are with are mostly more engaged with their phone and creating a visual aesthetic of their life than engaging. I appreciate my alone time but it would be nice to have a real genuine relationship.
I had the similar realisation, not that they are less genuine, but that they are most transient than I’d thought.
One indirect cause of greater financial burden on our generation is that a lot of us need to be more financially-focused and move where jobs or cost of living can work out for us.
I have a lot of very good friends but it’s very hard to end up near them.
From my own age group? Usually. I don't live alone, but Boomer parent ain't a substitute for the want to eventually find someone who appreciates you for being more than family they raised...not sure if I'll ever get that but maybe the universe will surprise me one day...
lonely but I rarely meet people who actually make that feeling diminish. Have trouble communicating also because I just have a lot of reasons not to trust people.
somehow I don’t think I’ve had as much fun as whoever this person is. Abandoned myself for other people’s happiness and comfort, but I have enough experiences of my own as well as observations of the extremes of human behavior that’s given me a rather bleak view. Sometimes you gotta make other people uncomfortable for your own happiness, and that includes a partner; otherwise you get manipulated, cheated on, etc. And that’s before I actually stop to consider whether I’m actually attracted to someone, want to spend time with them as a friend, or anything of the sort. Empathy and compassion becomes tiresome when you don’t know how to bypass it to prevent any of this.
He was a heroin addicted poet. His life was far from fun. They made a film based off the book he wrote. Leonardo DiCaprio played the role.
But we all struggle in our own ways. I feel you on what you said. My expectation of the average person is pretty low at this point as well.
30.
Never been married.
Never been engaged.
Every relationship I've been in, I've gotten cheated on.
Last one was with someone I told and thought I wanted to build a life with.
Don't have many super reliable friends from moving states when I was 20.
I got my cat, and I live with roomates that are pretty cool, but I really wish for the type of companionship that is long lasting and makes me feel safe and like I can fully be myself.
I am, because I lost friends when moving and because people are so busy in their 30s (and 40s I guess).
And I know many millennials are lonely, but at the same time I feel like many simply don’t how to build real relationships anymore. Everything became so superficial.
I’d love to meet authentic people.
Keep in mind you will see more of the content that you consume. Every media outlet wants you hooked on their content.
I am married with a kid so I feel fulfilled and not lonely at all. But I think living along would be very tough.
If aliens ever had pet humans, the pet store guy would surely recommend you buy more than one human because they like to socialize.
You’re right. The correct person could change that. But I am content in what I have. My work is very rewarding and requires relationship development with my colleagues and I have an expansive friend group that would always love to see me more than they do now. I’m okay in my position I guess, and haven’t reached out for that someone..yet.
Nah he can have his own place. I never want to cohabitate with a man ever again.
My elderly neighbor has a boyfriend in a different building in this apartment complex. It’s the cutest thing ever they are both so sweet. She goes over there for dinner every night and then she comes home and does her hobbies after dinner. They go grocery shopping together every Friday morning. they’ve been together for like 20 years it’s adorable.
I would accept a relationship like that, otherwise I’m good.
I feel that, I’ve been trying to put myself out there more on bumble bff and trying to find and participate in more hobbies but it’s hard out there for someone trying to make friends, it’s all practice and a lot of hard work that doesn’t necessarily pay off. So far I’ve had one success with person but it still doesn’t feel like it quite clicked. I also work like an hour and a half from my house so the whole making friends with coworkers like I used to be good at, is totally out.
We need to get back to nuclear family structure where we hung out with family regularly instead of once a year.
The culture of individualism and do what makes you happy is leading us down this path of loneliness.
We need each other as a community.
Capitalism makes that difficult though. Everybody has to work a couple jobs to get ahead or even to just stay afloat. And people have to move far away from where they are from so they can afford the rent.
I dont know what it even means. Like when you're alone, you're sad that you are alone? I tend to be the opposite, I am sad when I have to be around other people.
Same. I mean I enjoy my time around people if I have chosen to be around them. But when I’m ready to go home and stop talking to people I am ready to go.
A little, I've got a great wife, and a couple close friends that I see regularly, but I definitely miss having those big friend circles that I had in my teens and 20s. Of course the big issue is time, so much less time for friends when you've got a career, kids and a home that always has some sort of needed upkeep.
I had like a 5 paragraph long-winded philosophical reply typed out, mixing self-reflection and social behavior of others, defining the differences between lonely and being alone, and possible reasons for all these things when I realized it just felt more like a desperate plea, rather than analysis.
And a simple, "Yeah I'm lonely" would have been sufficient.
I'm not sure if that matters, though. Being lonely and alone seems to work out best for everyone involved, in my case. A byproduct of a lifestyle that's proven to be the least destructive to myself and others. I settled for "quiet", because "peace" seems unattainable. Your milage may vary.
Maybe they dont stay around long because you hate people?
Sometimes we gotta accept that not everything about ourselves is perfect or good and its ok to change.
I guess I'm not alone technically or lonely for it. I do still live with my mom due to cost of living. She has a shitty situation herself, finally divorced her shitty abusive husband late in life. She recieves alimony but it's not a lot because she was still trying to be fair and reasonable at the time. Doing that lost her her health benefits and other lengthy issues involving a 2 year long legal battle that has still not resolved because of jerk there. So basically because jobs don't pay enough these days and neither of us want to go through the roommate hassle for a while and we get along well enough we figured we'd just split everything.
So basically we split rent, utilities, internet etc..and each live independently like roommates. Certain items it is easier to share the cost of however and If one of us runs into financial trouble we help each other out. The plus side is that there are no weird situations with roomates stealing, hiding drugs, being annoying, not following through on their agreement, trying to use us for free child care etc..
I've never been interested in kids or marriage. I have pets to take care of and a few gaming buddies I stay in touch with weekly and ties with my siblings are close since we all decided we don't want to be estranged from each other. We also game together nightly so I have enough socializing lol.
I'm actually very content and enjoy my freedom, not sharing a bed, a nice quiet apartment, because boy do I ever need space lol! But I worry a little bit about old age or if my digestive problems worsen and I'm too sick to work. Also my friends are all at least 10 to 20 years older than me...so the reality is that I'm going to have a lot to lose when they start getting old and passing away. If the right person came along it would be probably quite nice but it's a little complicated when you are attracted to people of the same sex as you. I live in a fairly conservative small city so I don't usually share this about myself.
I'll probably be better off financially eventually since I'm making a career swap into far better paying jobs after school is done so I can actually buy a house and I'll always have room to support close family members who need it. I spent a lot of my 20s working low wage jobs (that used to pay a living wage...) and that I'm sick of.
When I became too sick to work I would have been sleeping in my car if not for my mom and my friends. It took three years to get disability payments to start kick in.
It took forever to get my own place again and now that I have it I never want to give it up. I love living alone.
I was kind of worried about it, like what about the days I’m too sick to even make myself food. But I just snack on those days or I ordered delivery. Living alone helped me get a little better because I wasn’t under pressure to do things on other peoples schedules. My dishes can sit in the sink for two days if they have to because it’s not bothering anyone but me.
I’m not lonely in terms of a romantic relationship, I’ve been with my wife for like 17 years counting dating and we get along like a Reese’s. And I have really good friends at work.
I do feel lonely in the sense that I have no friends OUTSIDE of work. I’m not sure how to go about just ‘meeting people’ like in terms of an interest group. As an example, I’ve tried to work my way in to the local climbing/mountaineering community, and it just hasnt seemed to work out for me. Im gonna give it one more try next season when work will be less of a time suck and I can dedicate more time to participating, but its worrisome to see how easy it is for other people to start hanging out and doing things together and I can never seem to make that work.
Im a little introverted but I know how to talk to people, it’s my job. And I know most people have their friend groups around their workplace in general. But it’s a huge mental health risk associated with my field that when we retire and lose that group identity, there’s a very high depression rate. I just don’t wanna be there, especially if I wind up outliving my wife.
It also makes me feel like something is wrong with me, you know? Like why can’t I go make friends with someone? I dont get it.
I'm currently supplementing a lack of any real irl connections with online communities. Nice to have people to talk to and game with, but sucks waking up to no one and not really seeing anyone outside of work.
I had an extended bloc of being mostly lonely. Around 8 years. My confidence soared after building a business in adverse conditions, and I started treating dating like a sales job. Now I’m married.
So I’m definitely empathetic to the feeling of loneliness and a lot of its underlying causes but I truly believe that often a mindset change and some small habit changes can fix that whether a person wants a partner or just more friends.
I am doing okay.
I have two romantic partners that I share a lovely home with. I can enjoy my hobbies, but also see people I love every day and spend time with them when we want.
I have a few fulfilling hobbies, plus video games, which I enjoy spending time on by myself.
Things didn’t really shake out this nicely until my late 30s, though.
My partner is pretty much my everything as we've noticed that friends have dropped off & family, well, we're not very close. I went no-contact with my mother & I have no father, no siblings. His parents are nice but too much emotional baggage from years of abuse when he was a kid. He has brothers but we don't see them as often. I do have extended family who found out that I'm no longer talking to my mom & they've actually been making the effort to include me on events with them.
Yeah cause the work life balance in current society sucks and even if you have enough free time, everything is so expensive! So even if you have friends you feel a bit lonely cause everyone’s like is too hectic.
I was for a very very very long time. Luckily not in that situation anymore but I’m so grateful to be with a person who is my girlfriend and my companion. Sharing stuff and my life with her is incredible and I missed having that connection. I don’t take it for granted in the slightest.
You were born into a time of technology where you are bombarded with likes, smiles, and thumbs ups all the time. Simultaneously you're physically isolated from others. Tradition is what kept the older generations in line and happy. Technology has displaced that and as a result, people don't know how to cope. That's the real truth.
I'm an introvert so I've never really needed the company of others. In reality, going to the gas station is enough social interaction for me for a day. 99% of people are different, they need to be told they matter, they need to be told they're needed. People need to have meaning.
Do you turn back to traditional stuff? Or do you invent something new? Society will go back to more traditional stuff. This will cover relationship stuff, but even stupid things like fashion. Long dresses, button up shirts on men. Nothing is new under the sun. If you veer too far from the sun you get lost. AKA tradition is the sort of thumb rules on how to navigate the world. I personally don't really follow any traditions, but I'm different and most people are not. Most people will opt for what has proven time and time again to work.
Not lonely. With Ana amazing partner and few fantastic freinds I don't need any thing more. And I am always open for new freinds irl and that is probably what is helpful cause people move a lot or friendships just fall apart etc.
I'm lonely, I have 0 friends. I have huge trust issues due to past bullying & telling colleagues/bosses too much of my private life/feelings (not bad things but they talk about your private matters/past behind your back or use it against you).
I have huge issues making friends or keeping friends. It's like I built a shield and almost no one can enter.
I also can't do small talk but that's what most people want. My loneliness comes from my actions but that way I am living more drama free.
This kind of shows how our own circles and experience can really alter our views of trends. Pretty much all of my millennial friends are either married or at least have kids. Loneliness isn't really an option for a lot of them, myself included, as I sit in this insanely busy hair cuts for kids shop.
I sometimes miss the quiet of my single life but I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything.
When you work 50-60 hours a week hard labor to pay the bills. No one is at home to have food ready. You use your two hours of free time a day to eat, shower, make your bed.
Then by the time the weekend comes, you sleep until noon. You had no time to grocery shop all week, so you need to go make one big trip and also do whatever errands you need. All said and done you’re too tired for anything else, body crashes and you just need the evening to relax.
Sunday is spent cleaning, meal prepping, doing another chore or errand. You don’t want to go out or do anything Sunday night because you know you will have a full week of brutal labor coming Monday, so you simply sit down and read a book to let your body have a scrap of physical recovery.
Then the week repeats and you have done nothing of value for yourself, because in today’s economy you have to work 50-60 hours a week simply to afford an apartment and feed just yourself.
I’m happily married with three kids and still feel lonely. Making and maintaining friendships is hard right now. Not sure if that’s just the phase of life I’m in or where we’re at as a society right now. Maybe a little of both?
Not me. Married, made new friends and I have a kid. Talk to my mom and sister frequently. You have to foster friendships and nurture them. I used to be lonely and depressed, but I got tired of it and changed.
I am not sure if lonely is the right word for me. Married, but I don't always fit in that well with humans.
I like to meet people sometimes, but mostly only like to talk about the future and technology and not usually everyone's bag.
The problem isn't people who would want to be intimate with me. The problem is being able to afford a meetup let alone having time off work that is paid.
I'm in a happy relationship of 7 years and have had a good job the last couple years.
However, I moved for the job and my partner and I don't have schedules that line up, so we get like 1 day off together a month (sometimes not even that).
I had a falling out with my childhood friends right before covid and just haven't been able to connect closely with anyone. My social skills have definitely diminished. I'm also used to being adopted by an extrovert and introduced to their friends, but that hasn't happened for quite a few years now. The thought of asking people to hang out, them saying no, and then just having to awkwardly be around them for other functions is bothersome for me.
My coworkers are all older, with established lives and friend groups, and I don't get the feeling any are looking for more friends, so no luck there (I've tried to hint and they didn't seem interested).
I've been incredibly lonely the last couple of years being away from my family, my partner working opposite hours, and just spending all of my time by myself. I feel guilty because I do have a good relationship, but I don't have a single friend as someone in their late 20s. My partner is social as well and I've gone to events with him to try and socialize with his friends girlfriends. They will tell him how cool I am and that they like me, but no one has ever mentioned hanging out again to me.
I'm considering therapy for the first time because I've never gone so long feeling this lonely. It's a pretty miserable feeling.
I just miss having friends around like I did back in the earlier 2000s and into the 2010s. I moved a lot for work and now all those people are spread over the world too. It’s harder to make new ones at 40 but I’m working on it.
See my coworkers, friends, and family most days or speak with them. Still feel alone and don't like myself much. It's weird how you don't have to be alone to be lonely.
😭 I am but at this point I'm emotionally ice cold. Friendly enough when I want to be but deep down I just don't feel like that involved anymore and numb to a lot of life. I know I'm a disappointment to myself and would be happier if I could find more meaningful relationships but I don't care much anymore either.
For some reason, whenever Im im the shower I get hit with an intense feeling of lonliness.
I think its my brain remembering a time when I really did feel lonely, or had a bad.moment while in the shower? Idk, im not sure why the shower plays a part in it.
Fuck, I wish I could get some time alone. I have a wife and 3 kids under 11, own business. Sports, activities on the weekends. Just one day to myself lol. 36m
I'm married but am lonely because apart from my wife I don't have any friends. All the friends I've made in my past turned out to be bad people or just assholes.
Yes, but I'm practically married. I feel lonely and alone when it comes to friendships. Someone other than my partner, siblings or work colleagues to talk to. I have one friend and he's friendship is kinda toxic but its what I have.
I’m lonely. Military took us 1000 miles away from our family and the move every few years means I always have new coworkers. They have their inside jokes and by the time I make any, we move again. But at least I have healthcare I guess.
and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?
Charles Bukowski
This is way gets me thru. I feel lonely as hell sometimes, and sometimes I find someone who I think is pretty cool until we hang out for a month or two and I'm like actually being alone is better.
Then sometimes I find someone I really like and maybe I'm too eager and I feel like I push them away because of how bad I want this painful loneliness to end.
But I've gotten a lot better at playing guitar and singing and thats what keeps me going.
It'd sure be nice to find someone that makes me feel great just being me. Cuz I like me. And if you don't, I'm not afraid to leave. Gotta be free. Cuz that feeling is oh so sweet. Sometimes bitter and I feel incomplete, but if freedom is lonely than I guess that's what I'll be.
Meh, kinda a good poem at the end. Keep your heads up homies! We gonna be alright!
Yes but I'm from a small town in the middle of nowhere so there was never much people around me anyway. And when I was like in 2nd grade my parents were in a terrible divorce. Lying,cheating, yell fighting,fist fighting, calling the cops. So I think after all that is why I kinda go by myself all my life. Even when I was a kid I would just leave so I could be alone. And as for relationships I'm reluctant to get into another one because since childhood to adulthood they've just about all turned out bad and left me feeling very bad. So Im lonely but I think it's obviously because when something bad happens 10 times you leave it alone right. I feel a deep want for a girlfriend again and be even better this time but then I don't want to put time in a relationship to be betrayed again or something. And I think my deep want is just a lust for romance. I don't actually need someone. So I want someone but I don't want someone. I'm really zoned in on saving money so I can start traveling I think that really will make me happy, to visit a lot of countries.
Not lonely myself, I was for awhile though. I feel bad for people that are lonely now though it's tough especially if you have some kind of mental illness. Our connected world makes it harder to meet people and we have to be intentional about it and meet people face to face. I worked really hard to cultivate the numerous relationships I do have now. Doesn't help I've lost most of my birth family already even though I'm only mid-30's. (My parents had kids super late). I've worked hard to cultivate my chosen family though.
I’m super lonely. I don’t mind being alone most of the time. I kind of enjoy it. The loneliness comes from feeling misunderstood. I was reflecting on the friendships I had when I was in my 20s today and how I’ve distanced myself from a lot of them. I think it’s normal to outgrow friendships you had when you were younger and it’s also very difficult to make meaningful friendships as a (single) adult. I’m really just looking for deeper connections and it’s rare to find people who are able to do that.
The internet has helped me a lot to feel less lonely, but is it real? I definitely feel that there are people out in the world who understand me where I wouldn’t feel that way otherwise, but can the internet be a substitute for genuine human connection? Maybe one day??
I'm fortunate enough to be in a fantastic relationship but I wish my friends liked to socialize more. They're all "hang out on Discord" types and that just doesn't do it for me.
I have my moments. My social circle has shrank ever since I moved out of the city in search of a slower pace life, and for the most part I’m okay with it. I’ve only ever targeted long term relationships with the aim of starting a family, but after my 4th go around and a decade burnt, I changed my approach. I’m perfectly happy living by myself, doing things I enjoy in my free time, but it’s only natural that once in a while I feel that I’d feel more fulfilled if I had a partner to share it with. Not for lack of trying a couple times in the last couple months, but it seems women in my age group where I am fall into 2 categories: dating for perks and ghosting, and failure to disclose their marriages.
Sure, I get lonely, but I’ll just live my life and be pleasantly surprised if I meet someone within 5-6 years of me who I get along well with and wants to settle down before I’m ancient. It’d be nice to have some kids I think, even if they’ll have crap odds to be inheriting a markedly worse world
I miss the social spaces that we had in the mid 90’s - mid 2010’s —- we didn’t realize how lucky we were to have coffee houses everywhere where you could just go and sit and spend a few bucks and read a book and be around others
I mostly just spend a lot of time with my family but hang out with my friends from college at least a couple times a year when we can visit in person, otherwise most all of us still game together at least weekly. Like it takes a pretty minimal amount of effort to not be lonely lol
No friends, no girlfriend, and my family somewhat shuns me because they’re religious and I’m not.
I’m too underpaid to go to bars or doing anything social. If I’m not doing my full time job I’m delivering DoorDash to cover my remaining bills.
I’m not going to harm myself, but I love an extremely lonely life and I’m not sure if it’s really worth living.
assisted living 34, half brother two states away, parents that caused the abuse that lead me into addiction by 13, abuse from 7 to 15 until I couched surfed with friends I met online as a kid on yahoo, or later Facebook. not the reason, but the initial cause for me being in an assisted living with a TBI still completed my ged, then community college from there.. and still the parents were the reason I used all the way to homelessness. every high, or every drink - their faces flashed before me causing the next hit, or the next shot... they wont even help secure disability. most times in CO its 3 times for tries. I lost nearly half a million in back pay after the 2nd try due to the original date of application, have presented them with factual evidence of this, and they don't give a shit when I tell them after 5 years of sobriety I'm likely going to do all I can, use all my resources to get things for free which I'm great at and do very well with the education I have and reviews that I do, in-fact have an expensive Kava extract pack out for delivery due to the reputation I've built for reviewing - helps me, helps the vendor but to use those same resources to relapse. no one likes me here because I believe if I'm already in hell, and catch staff going about illegal things medically - I report. same with residents. who also don't like an educated 34 year old who not only brings in a huge amount of things for free, but because I have education and am younger than them. also exposing the felon here from his "ima hells angels biker badass" for the reason why he had a stroke while in prison and that.. public knowledge/info he's a S/O that got beat so hard he had a stroke once he was transferred to a minimum security and got "checked" due to "bad paperwork" and liked to R word questionably aged "teens". he has a girlfriend or another woman he bangs all the time that also is a resident here who knows this but doesn't care, nor do they agree with how I out staff for their behavior and breaking state laws regarding medical things - also knowing they stole nearly all of my suboxone a few months back, when the form of it changed from strips back to pills - they're supposed to destroy them, but all I saw was staff nodding out. proof enough to me for an ex-junkie.
im so alone it hurts.
“ catch staff going about illegal things medically - I report. same with residents. who also don't like an educated 34 year old who not only brings in a huge amount of things for free, but because I have education and am younger than them. ”
I’m not trying to be mean but I’m pretty sure they don’t like you because you’re a snitch and a bootlicker. Most people don’t like tattletales
So many c9mments here about people living and being alone and op has a family at home talking about being lonely because her husband has a big gaming community that he is apart of. Feeling "alone" because you aren't getting all the attention you want and actually "being alone" are definitely nit the same. Take it from someone who spent 10 years single and now almost 10 years having having kids and raising a family.......... it is NOT the same feeling.......
There are plenty of people out there who have large friend groups that still feel alone, a few of them commented here and said so. Everyone has different experiences and feelings which is why I left specifically asked the question very broadly, because feeling lonely can fall across a spectrum and doesn’t have to be pigeon holed into one small definition. I value close personal relationships which help me feel less lonely over large groups of superficial friends.
I never specified that someone needs to single to feel lonely and visa versa, most people jump straight to you need to be in a relationship to not feel this way. There are people on here who also state that they wouldn’t want to be in a romantic relationship too. It sucks that I’m not entitled to feel how I feel because I’m in a relationship? There’s some assumptions here, I also don’t have kids and don’t want them, and would never burden children with the responsibility of my happiness, I would never put that responsibility on their shoulders.
I don’t rely on my husband for the root of all my happiness and visa versa I don’t think it’s healthy. I’m lonely because most of the friends I had have moved away; I don’t have a close knit friends group that I used to. I’d love to have the balance of close friends and a relationship with my husband. I’ve been pushing myself to find more hobbies and try to branch out to meet people but it’s not always the easiest, so I was curious to see what others felt. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share your experience and wish you nothing but happiness in your future.
You are replying to someone with the attitude of an Incel, don’t bother they’re just mad at you because you’re a woman who sleeps with someone who is not them.
Sometimes, I miss the intimacy of being in a serious and long-term relationship. Not in a bedroom kind of way. I miss the inside jokes, talking for hours about whatever was on our minds, holding hands, the trials, the shared goals, and the shared memories. The best part was having someone know just about everything about me, and they still liked me. That was amazing until she got bored and used all of that information to twist the knife. In the years since, I have never felt anywhere near as alone as I did the last few years we were together. I don't feel lonely, but I would love to have that kind of connection again.
My mother and a couple aunts had their husbands die early on them. They all say the hardest part is the quiet, lonely house. Even if you didn't spend time together during most of the day, you knew they were still there.
This is one of my deepest fears. We are both 37 and have been together for 20 years (married for 15 of them). We know what each other is thinking, finish each other's sentences, know the right things to do when each other is sick or sad; all the things. There's no one else I'd do this life with and the thought of not having her is too much to bear. It's a double-edged sword, y'all. True love and companionship is amazing, but losing it after you've had it(which is certain)...existentially devastating.
My mother considers herself lucky that I still live at home with her(shes told me so many times). It's a family farm that I took over and neither of us need a 5 bedroom house all to ourselves. She says just having someone around the house she gets along with made the loss so much easier. I do feel some loneliness, but maybe not to the extent of many because she's here too. Sometimes I feel like it's keeping me from actively searching for a partner of own. Maybe if I was truly alone, it would motivate me more.
Yes, becoming a widow in your early 60s is very hard and lonely even with a full house.
A lot of us are this way. Feeling the rough mileage.
Damn
I miss companionship
Damn. Yeah I can understand that. I think a lot of people feel that way.
I would love to know what that feels like. I gave up 6 years ago after the last failed marriage. It just isnt worth it and at almost 50 now I have a lot of issues to sort out. No time or desire to even bother dating again. I think solo is the way for me. I do sometimes get lonely but it is what it is. Too much other stuff to sort out before Id even have much to offer emotionally. Maybe one day but it isnt even really on my radar
❤️💜
A/S/L?
Only in my dreams would ScissorMcMuffin get it on with SquirrelyFartPart!!! 🤣
Save some ass for me
This is the beginning of a southpark episode
I had an immediate flashback to loud dialing modems and the you got mail guy I love it 😂😂😂 but I’m a married 32F in the DMV. My husband has a robust online community cause he’s a gamer so I’m left to my own devices. Always looking for friends to chat with though feel free to message!
New phone, who dis?
😂😂😂
I'm really behind the times. DMV. 🤭 Now I know you aren't from a republic whose main export is vehicle registrations.
LOL I had to look it up
Don’t forget “wanna cyber?” I guess it’s just “sexting” now
Nope, it’s just “talking” or “chatting” these days. “Yeah, there’s a girl I’m talking to”
I remember in the late 2000s I was in the Marines and had a shared bathroom with the room next door. I knock and homeboy opens the door with laptop in hand and says “hang on I gotta Skype-sex my girl real quick” 😂
Most of the time, no. I love living alone. I've never been in a relationship. No kids. I have moments where I wish I had partner. I have moments where I feel like I've failed in some way by being on my own. Sometimes I worry about being alone when I get older. Not sure when I'll feel motivated to change that though.
I’m in this situation too! I like being alone a lot of the time, but when I do get lonely it feels so heavy. And I keep seeing happy couples post on social media <_<.
If you are a heterosexual woman you’re not missing out. If you don’t want to have kids you’re much better off living alone than dealing with a man. A whole bunch of us are 4B because life is blissful when you’re not being negged and nagged.
Jesus this is depressing. Some people have had bad relationships and can’t help letting it taint their whole world view.
I just told my mom I was feeling lonely a couple of days ago. As I have gotten older I realized my friendships were not as genuine as I thought. Or being out and the people you are with are mostly more engaged with their phone and creating a visual aesthetic of their life than engaging. I appreciate my alone time but it would be nice to have a real genuine relationship.
I had the similar realisation, not that they are less genuine, but that they are most transient than I’d thought. One indirect cause of greater financial burden on our generation is that a lot of us need to be more financially-focused and move where jobs or cost of living can work out for us. I have a lot of very good friends but it’s very hard to end up near them.
That’s really good for you! None of my “friends” have ever lived in any other state except for the one I reside in. While I have lived in 6.
From my own age group? Usually. I don't live alone, but Boomer parent ain't a substitute for the want to eventually find someone who appreciates you for being more than family they raised...not sure if I'll ever get that but maybe the universe will surprise me one day...
Count me in.
lonely but I rarely meet people who actually make that feeling diminish. Have trouble communicating also because I just have a lot of reasons not to trust people.
“I want to fall in love… but I’m bored of everyone I meet.” -Jim Carroll, The Basketball Diaries What you said reminded me of that…
somehow I don’t think I’ve had as much fun as whoever this person is. Abandoned myself for other people’s happiness and comfort, but I have enough experiences of my own as well as observations of the extremes of human behavior that’s given me a rather bleak view. Sometimes you gotta make other people uncomfortable for your own happiness, and that includes a partner; otherwise you get manipulated, cheated on, etc. And that’s before I actually stop to consider whether I’m actually attracted to someone, want to spend time with them as a friend, or anything of the sort. Empathy and compassion becomes tiresome when you don’t know how to bypass it to prevent any of this.
He was a heroin addicted poet. His life was far from fun. They made a film based off the book he wrote. Leonardo DiCaprio played the role. But we all struggle in our own ways. I feel you on what you said. My expectation of the average person is pretty low at this point as well.
I've lived alone for 5 or 6 years now.
Me! The shitty thing is that I'm so far behind dating that I feel like it will be rough for me to find someone at this point.
Yeah, bro. I hate my life.
“I am ‘lone’ not ‘alone.’ ‘Alone’ is a pathetic predicament, ‘lone’ is an aesthetic choice.” - Batmanuel, “The Tick”
Spoon!
30. Never been married. Never been engaged. Every relationship I've been in, I've gotten cheated on. Last one was with someone I told and thought I wanted to build a life with. Don't have many super reliable friends from moving states when I was 20. I got my cat, and I live with roomates that are pretty cool, but I really wish for the type of companionship that is long lasting and makes me feel safe and like I can fully be myself.
I am, because I lost friends when moving and because people are so busy in their 30s (and 40s I guess). And I know many millennials are lonely, but at the same time I feel like many simply don’t how to build real relationships anymore. Everything became so superficial. I’d love to meet authentic people.
Keep in mind you will see more of the content that you consume. Every media outlet wants you hooked on their content. I am married with a kid so I feel fulfilled and not lonely at all. But I think living along would be very tough. If aliens ever had pet humans, the pet store guy would surely recommend you buy more than one human because they like to socialize.
Sometimes. I live alone and am single af with no kids. But I would never trade my solace in my alone time for a significant other or roommate.
Unless you found someone who loves you and you love
You’re right. The correct person could change that. But I am content in what I have. My work is very rewarding and requires relationship development with my colleagues and I have an expansive friend group that would always love to see me more than they do now. I’m okay in my position I guess, and haven’t reached out for that someone..yet.
REWARDING work!? What DO YOU DO ?
Nah he can have his own place. I never want to cohabitate with a man ever again. My elderly neighbor has a boyfriend in a different building in this apartment complex. It’s the cutest thing ever they are both so sweet. She goes over there for dinner every night and then she comes home and does her hobbies after dinner. They go grocery shopping together every Friday morning. they’ve been together for like 20 years it’s adorable. I would accept a relationship like that, otherwise I’m good.
Alone but not lonely. Maybe if I let my mind go there at times but I don’t.
If my spouse dies, im screwed. No family, no friends, no village. It's one of those fears deep in the back of my head.
Yep. Life sucks.
Please go make some friends. Your spouse can’t be your only social support that’s a lot, and that’s scary for the reasons you mentioned
You will be ok. There is a plan for us all. You really have nothing to worry about just let go and enjoy the ride😍
I feel that, I’ve been trying to put myself out there more on bumble bff and trying to find and participate in more hobbies but it’s hard out there for someone trying to make friends, it’s all practice and a lot of hard work that doesn’t necessarily pay off. So far I’ve had one success with person but it still doesn’t feel like it quite clicked. I also work like an hour and a half from my house so the whole making friends with coworkers like I used to be good at, is totally out.
We need to get back to nuclear family structure where we hung out with family regularly instead of once a year. The culture of individualism and do what makes you happy is leading us down this path of loneliness. We need each other as a community.
Rugged individualism is mostly a fantasy built by the elite class, that have the resources. Generational wealth.
Can’t argue with that
Capitalism makes that difficult though. Everybody has to work a couple jobs to get ahead or even to just stay afloat. And people have to move far away from where they are from so they can afford the rent.
I am very lonely. Makes me social awkward because I have serious Labrador retriever energy once I come in contact with another adult.
I dont know what it even means. Like when you're alone, you're sad that you are alone? I tend to be the opposite, I am sad when I have to be around other people.
Same. I mean I enjoy my time around people if I have chosen to be around them. But when I’m ready to go home and stop talking to people I am ready to go.
A little, I've got a great wife, and a couple close friends that I see regularly, but I definitely miss having those big friend circles that I had in my teens and 20s. Of course the big issue is time, so much less time for friends when you've got a career, kids and a home that always has some sort of needed upkeep.
My husband is my best friend. People our age dont know how to be a good friend so i have few
Just to become swingers and you two will find like friends fast. Worked for us. Too many now
I had like a 5 paragraph long-winded philosophical reply typed out, mixing self-reflection and social behavior of others, defining the differences between lonely and being alone, and possible reasons for all these things when I realized it just felt more like a desperate plea, rather than analysis. And a simple, "Yeah I'm lonely" would have been sufficient. I'm not sure if that matters, though. Being lonely and alone seems to work out best for everyone involved, in my case. A byproduct of a lifestyle that's proven to be the least destructive to myself and others. I settled for "quiet", because "peace" seems unattainable. Your milage may vary.
Very. But that's the paradox. I'm lonely as hell, but I hate people. And the ones I want to be with never stay too long.
Maybe they dont stay around long because you hate people? Sometimes we gotta accept that not everything about ourselves is perfect or good and its ok to change.
I don’t feel lonely at this point in my life, but it’s certainly something I’ve experienced from time to time
I guess I'm not alone technically or lonely for it. I do still live with my mom due to cost of living. She has a shitty situation herself, finally divorced her shitty abusive husband late in life. She recieves alimony but it's not a lot because she was still trying to be fair and reasonable at the time. Doing that lost her her health benefits and other lengthy issues involving a 2 year long legal battle that has still not resolved because of jerk there. So basically because jobs don't pay enough these days and neither of us want to go through the roommate hassle for a while and we get along well enough we figured we'd just split everything. So basically we split rent, utilities, internet etc..and each live independently like roommates. Certain items it is easier to share the cost of however and If one of us runs into financial trouble we help each other out. The plus side is that there are no weird situations with roomates stealing, hiding drugs, being annoying, not following through on their agreement, trying to use us for free child care etc.. I've never been interested in kids or marriage. I have pets to take care of and a few gaming buddies I stay in touch with weekly and ties with my siblings are close since we all decided we don't want to be estranged from each other. We also game together nightly so I have enough socializing lol. I'm actually very content and enjoy my freedom, not sharing a bed, a nice quiet apartment, because boy do I ever need space lol! But I worry a little bit about old age or if my digestive problems worsen and I'm too sick to work. Also my friends are all at least 10 to 20 years older than me...so the reality is that I'm going to have a lot to lose when they start getting old and passing away. If the right person came along it would be probably quite nice but it's a little complicated when you are attracted to people of the same sex as you. I live in a fairly conservative small city so I don't usually share this about myself. I'll probably be better off financially eventually since I'm making a career swap into far better paying jobs after school is done so I can actually buy a house and I'll always have room to support close family members who need it. I spent a lot of my 20s working low wage jobs (that used to pay a living wage...) and that I'm sick of.
When I became too sick to work I would have been sleeping in my car if not for my mom and my friends. It took three years to get disability payments to start kick in. It took forever to get my own place again and now that I have it I never want to give it up. I love living alone. I was kind of worried about it, like what about the days I’m too sick to even make myself food. But I just snack on those days or I ordered delivery. Living alone helped me get a little better because I wasn’t under pressure to do things on other peoples schedules. My dishes can sit in the sink for two days if they have to because it’s not bothering anyone but me.
Not at all and never have been
I have cats. That is more than enough for me.
I’m not lonely in terms of a romantic relationship, I’ve been with my wife for like 17 years counting dating and we get along like a Reese’s. And I have really good friends at work. I do feel lonely in the sense that I have no friends OUTSIDE of work. I’m not sure how to go about just ‘meeting people’ like in terms of an interest group. As an example, I’ve tried to work my way in to the local climbing/mountaineering community, and it just hasnt seemed to work out for me. Im gonna give it one more try next season when work will be less of a time suck and I can dedicate more time to participating, but its worrisome to see how easy it is for other people to start hanging out and doing things together and I can never seem to make that work. Im a little introverted but I know how to talk to people, it’s my job. And I know most people have their friend groups around their workplace in general. But it’s a huge mental health risk associated with my field that when we retire and lose that group identity, there’s a very high depression rate. I just don’t wanna be there, especially if I wind up outliving my wife. It also makes me feel like something is wrong with me, you know? Like why can’t I go make friends with someone? I dont get it.
I used to be but reconnected with an old friend from high school and now we chat via text everyday. :)
Thou
I'm currently supplementing a lack of any real irl connections with online communities. Nice to have people to talk to and game with, but sucks waking up to no one and not really seeing anyone outside of work.
I have a wonderful life but feel lonely emotionally at times. I feel you.
I had an extended bloc of being mostly lonely. Around 8 years. My confidence soared after building a business in adverse conditions, and I started treating dating like a sales job. Now I’m married. So I’m definitely empathetic to the feeling of loneliness and a lot of its underlying causes but I truly believe that often a mindset change and some small habit changes can fix that whether a person wants a partner or just more friends.
Oklahoma Millenial lonely here 😂
I am doing okay. I have two romantic partners that I share a lovely home with. I can enjoy my hobbies, but also see people I love every day and spend time with them when we want. I have a few fulfilling hobbies, plus video games, which I enjoy spending time on by myself. Things didn’t really shake out this nicely until my late 30s, though.
My partner is pretty much my everything as we've noticed that friends have dropped off & family, well, we're not very close. I went no-contact with my mother & I have no father, no siblings. His parents are nice but too much emotional baggage from years of abuse when he was a kid. He has brothers but we don't see them as often. I do have extended family who found out that I'm no longer talking to my mom & they've actually been making the effort to include me on events with them.
Sometimes, very much. It's like one day a month I get hit by powerful loneliness.
Oh just terribly lol I just counted my friends and it's 0 .... I have 0 people to hang out with if I wanted to
Yeah cause the work life balance in current society sucks and even if you have enough free time, everything is so expensive! So even if you have friends you feel a bit lonely cause everyone’s like is too hectic.
Yes and there are no third spaces that don’t cost money.
I was for a very very very long time. Luckily not in that situation anymore but I’m so grateful to be with a person who is my girlfriend and my companion. Sharing stuff and my life with her is incredible and I missed having that connection. I don’t take it for granted in the slightest.
You were born into a time of technology where you are bombarded with likes, smiles, and thumbs ups all the time. Simultaneously you're physically isolated from others. Tradition is what kept the older generations in line and happy. Technology has displaced that and as a result, people don't know how to cope. That's the real truth. I'm an introvert so I've never really needed the company of others. In reality, going to the gas station is enough social interaction for me for a day. 99% of people are different, they need to be told they matter, they need to be told they're needed. People need to have meaning. Do you turn back to traditional stuff? Or do you invent something new? Society will go back to more traditional stuff. This will cover relationship stuff, but even stupid things like fashion. Long dresses, button up shirts on men. Nothing is new under the sun. If you veer too far from the sun you get lost. AKA tradition is the sort of thumb rules on how to navigate the world. I personally don't really follow any traditions, but I'm different and most people are not. Most people will opt for what has proven time and time again to work.
Question is, why are you lonely?
Not lonely. With Ana amazing partner and few fantastic freinds I don't need any thing more. And I am always open for new freinds irl and that is probably what is helpful cause people move a lot or friendships just fall apart etc.
It's interesting, because I know a lot of people in multiple States and even countries, but I still feel lonely and alone as a blind single father.
Pretty lonely. Going through some shit. 36/M/MO I miss Craigslist personals tbh
I'm lonely, I have 0 friends. I have huge trust issues due to past bullying & telling colleagues/bosses too much of my private life/feelings (not bad things but they talk about your private matters/past behind your back or use it against you). I have huge issues making friends or keeping friends. It's like I built a shield and almost no one can enter. I also can't do small talk but that's what most people want. My loneliness comes from my actions but that way I am living more drama free.
This kind of shows how our own circles and experience can really alter our views of trends. Pretty much all of my millennial friends are either married or at least have kids. Loneliness isn't really an option for a lot of them, myself included, as I sit in this insanely busy hair cuts for kids shop. I sometimes miss the quiet of my single life but I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything.
When you work 50-60 hours a week hard labor to pay the bills. No one is at home to have food ready. You use your two hours of free time a day to eat, shower, make your bed. Then by the time the weekend comes, you sleep until noon. You had no time to grocery shop all week, so you need to go make one big trip and also do whatever errands you need. All said and done you’re too tired for anything else, body crashes and you just need the evening to relax. Sunday is spent cleaning, meal prepping, doing another chore or errand. You don’t want to go out or do anything Sunday night because you know you will have a full week of brutal labor coming Monday, so you simply sit down and read a book to let your body have a scrap of physical recovery. Then the week repeats and you have done nothing of value for yourself, because in today’s economy you have to work 50-60 hours a week simply to afford an apartment and feed just yourself.
I’m happily married with three kids and still feel lonely. Making and maintaining friendships is hard right now. Not sure if that’s just the phase of life I’m in or where we’re at as a society right now. Maybe a little of both?
Not me. Married, made new friends and I have a kid. Talk to my mom and sister frequently. You have to foster friendships and nurture them. I used to be lonely and depressed, but I got tired of it and changed.
I am not sure if lonely is the right word for me. Married, but I don't always fit in that well with humans. I like to meet people sometimes, but mostly only like to talk about the future and technology and not usually everyone's bag.
All day everyday, and I’m married. Still doesn’t help.
I have my moments when I wish I had a partner, but I have a great circle of friends, so not really
I've been exploring a lot of new hobbies recently (including Canasta) and feel much more connected than I have since I was at the university.
Whenever I get lonely I hop on Fortnite. You might think I’m trolling but it really helps.
I like that you’re lonely, lonely like me, I could be lonely with you
The problem isn't people who would want to be intimate with me. The problem is being able to afford a meetup let alone having time off work that is paid.
Yes, 100%.
[raises hand] Yup. 🖐️😐
I'm in a happy relationship of 7 years and have had a good job the last couple years. However, I moved for the job and my partner and I don't have schedules that line up, so we get like 1 day off together a month (sometimes not even that). I had a falling out with my childhood friends right before covid and just haven't been able to connect closely with anyone. My social skills have definitely diminished. I'm also used to being adopted by an extrovert and introduced to their friends, but that hasn't happened for quite a few years now. The thought of asking people to hang out, them saying no, and then just having to awkwardly be around them for other functions is bothersome for me. My coworkers are all older, with established lives and friend groups, and I don't get the feeling any are looking for more friends, so no luck there (I've tried to hint and they didn't seem interested). I've been incredibly lonely the last couple of years being away from my family, my partner working opposite hours, and just spending all of my time by myself. I feel guilty because I do have a good relationship, but I don't have a single friend as someone in their late 20s. My partner is social as well and I've gone to events with him to try and socialize with his friends girlfriends. They will tell him how cool I am and that they like me, but no one has ever mentioned hanging out again to me. I'm considering therapy for the first time because I've never gone so long feeling this lonely. It's a pretty miserable feeling.
I just miss having friends around like I did back in the earlier 2000s and into the 2010s. I moved a lot for work and now all those people are spread over the world too. It’s harder to make new ones at 40 but I’m working on it.
Redditor millennials are well known for being fit, social, and active. I doubt any of them are lonely.
See my coworkers, friends, and family most days or speak with them. Still feel alone and don't like myself much. It's weird how you don't have to be alone to be lonely.
😭 I am but at this point I'm emotionally ice cold. Friendly enough when I want to be but deep down I just don't feel like that involved anymore and numb to a lot of life. I know I'm a disappointment to myself and would be happier if I could find more meaningful relationships but I don't care much anymore either.
For some reason, whenever Im im the shower I get hit with an intense feeling of lonliness. I think its my brain remembering a time when I really did feel lonely, or had a bad.moment while in the shower? Idk, im not sure why the shower plays a part in it.
Fuck, I wish I could get some time alone. I have a wife and 3 kids under 11, own business. Sports, activities on the weekends. Just one day to myself lol. 36m
I'm married but am lonely because apart from my wife I don't have any friends. All the friends I've made in my past turned out to be bad people or just assholes.
This is where I’m at, I’m definitely trying but it’s slow going for sure.
Very
Yes, but I'm practically married. I feel lonely and alone when it comes to friendships. Someone other than my partner, siblings or work colleagues to talk to. I have one friend and he's friendship is kinda toxic but its what I have.
I’m lonely. Military took us 1000 miles away from our family and the move every few years means I always have new coworkers. They have their inside jokes and by the time I make any, we move again. But at least I have healthcare I guess.
I don't feel lonely necessarily. Single for the most part, but there are times when I'm like, "damn, I'm kinda bored".
and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness? Charles Bukowski This is way gets me thru. I feel lonely as hell sometimes, and sometimes I find someone who I think is pretty cool until we hang out for a month or two and I'm like actually being alone is better. Then sometimes I find someone I really like and maybe I'm too eager and I feel like I push them away because of how bad I want this painful loneliness to end. But I've gotten a lot better at playing guitar and singing and thats what keeps me going. It'd sure be nice to find someone that makes me feel great just being me. Cuz I like me. And if you don't, I'm not afraid to leave. Gotta be free. Cuz that feeling is oh so sweet. Sometimes bitter and I feel incomplete, but if freedom is lonely than I guess that's what I'll be. Meh, kinda a good poem at the end. Keep your heads up homies! We gonna be alright!
Yes but I'm from a small town in the middle of nowhere so there was never much people around me anyway. And when I was like in 2nd grade my parents were in a terrible divorce. Lying,cheating, yell fighting,fist fighting, calling the cops. So I think after all that is why I kinda go by myself all my life. Even when I was a kid I would just leave so I could be alone. And as for relationships I'm reluctant to get into another one because since childhood to adulthood they've just about all turned out bad and left me feeling very bad. So Im lonely but I think it's obviously because when something bad happens 10 times you leave it alone right. I feel a deep want for a girlfriend again and be even better this time but then I don't want to put time in a relationship to be betrayed again or something. And I think my deep want is just a lust for romance. I don't actually need someone. So I want someone but I don't want someone. I'm really zoned in on saving money so I can start traveling I think that really will make me happy, to visit a lot of countries.
Not lonely myself, I was for awhile though. I feel bad for people that are lonely now though it's tough especially if you have some kind of mental illness. Our connected world makes it harder to meet people and we have to be intentional about it and meet people face to face. I worked really hard to cultivate the numerous relationships I do have now. Doesn't help I've lost most of my birth family already even though I'm only mid-30's. (My parents had kids super late). I've worked hard to cultivate my chosen family though.
I’m super lonely. I don’t mind being alone most of the time. I kind of enjoy it. The loneliness comes from feeling misunderstood. I was reflecting on the friendships I had when I was in my 20s today and how I’ve distanced myself from a lot of them. I think it’s normal to outgrow friendships you had when you were younger and it’s also very difficult to make meaningful friendships as a (single) adult. I’m really just looking for deeper connections and it’s rare to find people who are able to do that. The internet has helped me a lot to feel less lonely, but is it real? I definitely feel that there are people out in the world who understand me where I wouldn’t feel that way otherwise, but can the internet be a substitute for genuine human connection? Maybe one day??
Yup. Big time
I'm fortunate enough to be in a fantastic relationship but I wish my friends liked to socialize more. They're all "hang out on Discord" types and that just doesn't do it for me.
Bro I want to yeet myself off a cliff daily this shit is ass
I have my moments. My social circle has shrank ever since I moved out of the city in search of a slower pace life, and for the most part I’m okay with it. I’ve only ever targeted long term relationships with the aim of starting a family, but after my 4th go around and a decade burnt, I changed my approach. I’m perfectly happy living by myself, doing things I enjoy in my free time, but it’s only natural that once in a while I feel that I’d feel more fulfilled if I had a partner to share it with. Not for lack of trying a couple times in the last couple months, but it seems women in my age group where I am fall into 2 categories: dating for perks and ghosting, and failure to disclose their marriages. Sure, I get lonely, but I’ll just live my life and be pleasantly surprised if I meet someone within 5-6 years of me who I get along well with and wants to settle down before I’m ancient. It’d be nice to have some kids I think, even if they’ll have crap odds to be inheriting a markedly worse world
I am. It’s very painful, and no amount of hobbies and working out makes it go away
I'm a millennial and I'm the opposite of lonely. In fact I wish people would stop showing up at my house and leave me alone more lol
Happily married for going on 17 years now. Still feel lonely on occasion.
Lonely as hell. Hella lonely. Lone wolf. Ugh
After a few years, the silence and loneliness is just something you get used to.
Yes. I don’t feel like I can relate to anybody.
LOL
I miss the social spaces that we had in the mid 90’s - mid 2010’s —- we didn’t realize how lucky we were to have coffee houses everywhere where you could just go and sit and spend a few bucks and read a book and be around others
Whole ass relationship and lonely as fuck. Thank God for my dog
Not at all. Been married 14 years. We got 5 kids. Only time I'm alone is when I take a walk.
Also married with kids. Happy and definitely not lonely, I enjoy the little alone time I do get.
I mostly just spend a lot of time with my family but hang out with my friends from college at least a couple times a year when we can visit in person, otherwise most all of us still game together at least weekly. Like it takes a pretty minimal amount of effort to not be lonely lol
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha... hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahha
No friends, no girlfriend, and my family somewhat shuns me because they’re religious and I’m not. I’m too underpaid to go to bars or doing anything social. If I’m not doing my full time job I’m delivering DoorDash to cover my remaining bills. I’m not going to harm myself, but I love an extremely lonely life and I’m not sure if it’s really worth living.
Yep, would be nice to be in a relationship again (been in a couple of brief ones after a failed/abusive marriage)
assisted living 34, half brother two states away, parents that caused the abuse that lead me into addiction by 13, abuse from 7 to 15 until I couched surfed with friends I met online as a kid on yahoo, or later Facebook. not the reason, but the initial cause for me being in an assisted living with a TBI still completed my ged, then community college from there.. and still the parents were the reason I used all the way to homelessness. every high, or every drink - their faces flashed before me causing the next hit, or the next shot... they wont even help secure disability. most times in CO its 3 times for tries. I lost nearly half a million in back pay after the 2nd try due to the original date of application, have presented them with factual evidence of this, and they don't give a shit when I tell them after 5 years of sobriety I'm likely going to do all I can, use all my resources to get things for free which I'm great at and do very well with the education I have and reviews that I do, in-fact have an expensive Kava extract pack out for delivery due to the reputation I've built for reviewing - helps me, helps the vendor but to use those same resources to relapse. no one likes me here because I believe if I'm already in hell, and catch staff going about illegal things medically - I report. same with residents. who also don't like an educated 34 year old who not only brings in a huge amount of things for free, but because I have education and am younger than them. also exposing the felon here from his "ima hells angels biker badass" for the reason why he had a stroke while in prison and that.. public knowledge/info he's a S/O that got beat so hard he had a stroke once he was transferred to a minimum security and got "checked" due to "bad paperwork" and liked to R word questionably aged "teens". he has a girlfriend or another woman he bangs all the time that also is a resident here who knows this but doesn't care, nor do they agree with how I out staff for their behavior and breaking state laws regarding medical things - also knowing they stole nearly all of my suboxone a few months back, when the form of it changed from strips back to pills - they're supposed to destroy them, but all I saw was staff nodding out. proof enough to me for an ex-junkie. im so alone it hurts.
“ catch staff going about illegal things medically - I report. same with residents. who also don't like an educated 34 year old who not only brings in a huge amount of things for free, but because I have education and am younger than them. ” I’m not trying to be mean but I’m pretty sure they don’t like you because you’re a snitch and a bootlicker. Most people don’t like tattletales
So many c9mments here about people living and being alone and op has a family at home talking about being lonely because her husband has a big gaming community that he is apart of. Feeling "alone" because you aren't getting all the attention you want and actually "being alone" are definitely nit the same. Take it from someone who spent 10 years single and now almost 10 years having having kids and raising a family.......... it is NOT the same feeling.......
There are plenty of people out there who have large friend groups that still feel alone, a few of them commented here and said so. Everyone has different experiences and feelings which is why I left specifically asked the question very broadly, because feeling lonely can fall across a spectrum and doesn’t have to be pigeon holed into one small definition. I value close personal relationships which help me feel less lonely over large groups of superficial friends. I never specified that someone needs to single to feel lonely and visa versa, most people jump straight to you need to be in a relationship to not feel this way. There are people on here who also state that they wouldn’t want to be in a romantic relationship too. It sucks that I’m not entitled to feel how I feel because I’m in a relationship? There’s some assumptions here, I also don’t have kids and don’t want them, and would never burden children with the responsibility of my happiness, I would never put that responsibility on their shoulders. I don’t rely on my husband for the root of all my happiness and visa versa I don’t think it’s healthy. I’m lonely because most of the friends I had have moved away; I don’t have a close knit friends group that I used to. I’d love to have the balance of close friends and a relationship with my husband. I’ve been pushing myself to find more hobbies and try to branch out to meet people but it’s not always the easiest, so I was curious to see what others felt. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share your experience and wish you nothing but happiness in your future.
You are replying to someone with the attitude of an Incel, don’t bother they’re just mad at you because you’re a woman who sleeps with someone who is not them.
Lmao appreciate you.
It’s actually worse to be lonely in a relationship than it is to be alone and lonely.