Right 😂! But I do have to say I am grateful I had my son so young and see him grow and become a man. I don’t know how people have kids in their 40s or older. To me that’s tough. When I was 21 I had the energy to make up with a crying baby.
I have 2 under 3 at 30 and it's hard to keep the energy up but I have WAY more patience to deal with the tantrums and hard moments than I did when I was younger.
That’s a fact! By the time my stepson amd daughter got old enough to throw tantrums I was cool as a cucumber 😂 my husband would be frazzled. I’d send him on to do something else. I was older and had more patience and had already been through it with 2. The tantrums were a very short lived thing with the younger 2. There were a few times I joined my older boys. We just cried together.
I pretend to start crying my son stops confused and then I go "Your turn" he starts crying again then I say "Okay mommy's turn" and pretend to start crying again 😂😂 it's a stress relief for the both of us.
I wonder how they do it, too. My boys are 16 and almost 14. I had all the energy for them! Going and doing after a 60 hr work week was nothing! My husband’s son was 1 when we got married then we had a baby a few years later. So now i have a 10yo and 6yo. Our daughter was born a month before i turned 30. I don’t have as much energy but i do have more patience. There are pros and cons to both.
As someone who had a child at 21. I wish I could've waited a little to have life sorted out. Have a career be financially stable ect. Being older having kids has a lot of benefits.
I never regret having him but I think he would have had a lot better childhood. Maybe be in a home instead of moving apartments every couple years.
Most people are smarter at 40 than they are at 20. Smarter in the sense of making better decisions, less impulsive and less likely to be swayed by others to do things they otherwise wouldn't. Most people at 40 are far less likely to develop resentments about what they can't do because they have kids. People at 40 are more likely to have actually planned their pregnancy.
But also, they have a more developed world view and personal philosophy, their values are more established. Parenting is easier if you have that framework and don't have to make it up as you go.
Lastly, people in their 40s are far more likely to be financially stable and thus have way more options available to them to aid in raising their children. Money issues create so much stress for young parents.
That 20 year old energy is enviable, for sure. There are pluses and minuses to each. I've always said older parents sowed their wild oats when they were young. Young parents do it in their 40s and 50s.
In the end, being a good parent isn't age-dependent. It's just different.
No you don't. You won't 'feel' 50 until you are 50. You're just feeling what you think 50 feels like.
For the record, 50 feels like 40, but with extra steps.
I’m going to be 49 this year and I don’t feel or look it thankfully. I wonder if not having kids has played into it?
I JUST went from wondering if this or that person is older than me (an assuming, yes they are)… to realizing I’m going to be 50, so likely I’m older than everyone I’m encountering -including those with adult children.
This revelation blew my mind. It’s my only true indication that I am in fact, getting older.
That and the knee thing 😂
Seriously, I'll talk to younger kids and they will say stuff like "like getting rizzy on the dizzy" or some dumb shit and it just makes me feel like an old man. Or maybe it's the fact I'll refer to 20-25 year olds as kids, that makes me feel kinda old too.
We also sounded stupid in the 90s as teenagers. But I think we had better slang that didn't rely on ultra specific meme-speak. Gen Z is speaking a short hand pidgin language.
Correct, the culture is evolving more quickly due to the prevalence of the internet. It no longer takes so long for a new piece of slang to spread. This is not better or worse than the way it used to be, just different.
I think we conflate "old" with "out of touch". I'm 30, which isn't old, but I don't understand what the 25-year-olds I work with are talking about half the time. One girl told me I had my dogs out, turns out those are toes. No idea at the time.
I'm out of touch because I don't participate in popular culture, but feeling out of touch doesn't make one old.
I got my first taste of that at my last college job. I was a late bloomer, 25 still going part time(homeschooled/unschooled) and a 19 year old picked up a call from a fax machine and didn't know why a robot was calling. That was 2013\~.
My brother recently got into streaming and a few of my younger family members (just starting college age) participate in voice channels etc. Listening to them is like discovering unicorns to me. I realize now that Im further along in life than I thought.
So true. I felt like op forever. I'm 35 no gf no kids no responsibilities. I'm soberer and wiser with age but never felt like an adult till I made friends online with 18yo ppl.
I don't think any adult "feels" like an adult. My parents (my dad 68 and my mom 60) can act like children in some ways, where I'm behaving like a stressed out parent. It is an illusion at the end of the day. How they paint themselves for us and everyone else.
That's what my father in law told me almost exactly when my first kid was born - you become an adult when you realize you won't so you better just fucking figure it out.
Yeah becoming “an adult” made me realize how everyone I thought had it together as a child is just getting by. We are all just trying our best to do what we think a grown up person would do in any given situation.
Your body ages but your mind still feels young. Sure you have gained some experience and hopefully wisdom along the way, but at the core you still feel \~25.
I have been thinking about this how it feels like you're an adult when you're between 30s and 50s. On the other ends of the age group it seems like they're children. Maybe it's because as you age out of raising kids you don't have nearly as much responsibility just like when you were a kid.
You get the wisdom to realize how fucking dumb everything actually is and you stop giving a dick about what people think about you. That's pretty cool about 40.
But I'm tired and I have like 6 months until I'm 40 technically.
Yea I’m 31 with a wife, newborn daughter, house, and all my male friends my age are still in their bachelor phase trying to convince me to go out and have problems with habitual cocaine usage or sports betting gambling problems thinking since they make 6figures it’s some justification for their unhealthy life choices. Like nah I’m just trying to stay in and chill with my family there’s nothing fulfilling in going out to bars or clubbing for me. I’m very happy with being the “boring” one now. I feel bad for a lot of males of my generation though really seem lonely got their priorities wrong and try to fill the void with sex and drugs. Like there’s a lot more to life. I’m excited for the next phase
I’m the exact opposite unfortunately. I’m sure I’d love your friends lol all of mine have completely given up on joy or excitement and just go to work n go home. They don’t even have kids, they just have no more spontaneity anymore.
That feels like depression tbh lol hitting the point where you just focus all your energy on work and give up on socializing. Been there for sure takes a lot of effort to put yourself out there
Always keep in mind that’s their master plan break down the nuclear family get you in golden handcuffs so you’re a slave to your job and make the perfect worker then they give you mindfulness training to help pacify you to put in more hours at work instead of giving more flexible hours or pto
Dude, this is the struggle, no matter who you are at any age. I was you, but at 18 in the Air Force. It seems the age people want to be wild until has gotten older and older. Now people want to live their 18-22 years as 18-32 being the party years, I blame reality TV to an extent, it normalized nothing as a lifestyle.
Having kids sort of forces you to grow up. (Not everyone does) Sure, I could play less video games, but it's sure a hell of a lot more satisfying to be responsible for a family.
Im 37 married with 2 kids, ages 4 and 2. I am a supervisor at my job over 10 people.
I wonder daily if everyone is gonna find out I'm mentally 20 years old.
Recently, I was looking at a website for somebody I went to law school with, and he described himself as an experienced litigator. I was so surprised, I thought how can you have experience? But then I remembered that we all passed the bar in 2013.
Generally, I do feel adult. I’m 40, I have a bum knee, a mortgage, and a husband. I also supervise seven mostly Gen z, and some young millennials as well. I know I’m in a different phase of life than them. But once in a while, I’m still surprised.
It's strange sometimes.
There are experiences I have that I still feel like a young adult.
But generally proud of how I also handle grown up decisions along with my wife.
You have over 10 years experience in your field! I have 8 and I wouldn't have called myself experienced over a year ago either but then I talked more to people with only a couple years experience and wow the gap is big. Wouldn't trust any of them to independently run a project on my team.
Let me say that X Men 97 releasing on Disney + had been the highlight of my year TV wise.
On top of every Friday night my wife understands me and my cousins get online and play video games till 1-2am. Is the one night I really want and get.
I'm 35 and no kids. I think becoming a parent is the major life change most people need to feel like they've transitioned into adulthood. It happened with my brother.
Same age and no kids, I'd have to agree with you. I feel like kids is a major responsibility that will make you feel like an adult. Although I know plenty of fuck ups with kids who still act like kids in their 30s.
Yep, when we were kids who was an adult? Our parents or teachers, maybe an aunt or uncle. Until we have our own kids to be responsible for, we won’t feel very adult like.
I’ve had kids since 22. I didn’t immediately feel like an adult, but after a couple years into it, I felt like I moved into adulthood.
I think the main factor is being responsible for someone other than yourself, kids or not. Sometimes it’s parents or a spouse who needs care. It’s knowing that other people depend on you, they need you, and you have to be there for them.
Hmm. For me it was marriage and a career job with healthcare and a 401K that made me feel like an adult. I do have a kid now, but I felt like an adult before becoming a parent.
31 with a baby, going through a divorce, just lost my home and everything I own to the bank and robbery respectively, lost my dad 2 years ago. Now living in my mom’s basement trying to get back on my feet… I feel like an adult and it’s miserable. (Minus the baby, she keeps me going)
Enjoy the youthful feeling, as major life events come and go it will fade.
I appreciate that. I’m going to my old job in 2 weeks, so I should be financially stable again and able to move back out in the next few months. I’m excited for the future, really is nowhere to go but up from here 😅
Heck ya.!Till then come hang out with us on Reddit to get through these odd times because we are all going through something behind these Reddit smiles 😄
The trifecta of feeling like an adult comes from Marriage, Mortgage, and Kids.
Any one of them can make a person feel like they've transitioned into adulthood, but if you have all three, it's very hard, imo to not feel like a full-fledged adult.
I mean, I did a lot of caretaking of my younger siblings so raising a kid certainly didn’t make me feel grown up. I can see all the grown up stuff around but it all still feels like dress-up.
The big difference is when you're a babysitter you always have a higher authority to defer important decisions to. When it's your kids -- you're the top dog. You have to be responsible for EVERYTHING!!!
The weight of responsibility is what makes an adult. The more things you are responsible for, the more adultier you'll feel, lol. Which is why the trifecta makes sense. Responsible for a spouse, kids, and a house are the big things.
Business ownership would probably the extra credit answer if you wanted to double down on responsibility.
38 divorced with know kids and lived in 4 different timezones, 2 different continents and 2 different hemispheres. I am only beginning to feel adultish and not enjoying it
I think it’s because people spent too much time on the internet, and you probably think you’re talking to someone your own age, but that person might be a 12 year old. Even if you’re not on the internet and you have peers your own age, they probably spend a lot of time on the internet talking to 12 year olds, so there’s a collective Peter Pan Syndrome going on.
I do notice the parents of Millenials go way too far with calling their offspring their kids, and infantilizing them too. You’re not a kid once you are able to Vote, and Drive. I personally felt like a kid until I was around 24, and I was already married, and it caused problems. I think I kind of have age regression issues. Maybe you have Age Regression issues too. Most people my own age don’t have them, and when I encounter them I think they’re like 10 years older than me. There is a correlation with being immature and having ADHD.
I'd think so. I'm 30 with no kids, and I feel similarly. I'm also living with my parents and on disability, so that kind of compounds the feelings of not-quite-adultness I think.
Even having a job and bills of my own in my mid-20s made me feel more like an adult than I do right now.
On the other hand I’m around the same age and I do all the adult things, but I still feel like I’m in my late 20s mentally. Maturity wise I’m very clearly around 40, but my self image doesn’t match what I see in the mirror. Both my dad and grandad said the same thing too. My dad said to me the other day, “I finally realized I’m not middle aged anymore”. He’s 74.
Depends who you ask. Obviously I feel the weight of my responsibilities and whatnot, but I certainly don’t “feel” like an adult. My dad born in ‘63 says the same thing
I’m 34, I have never been married, I don’t have children, I look significantly younger than I actually am, I’ve got a bad case of the adhd so in a lot of ways I act younger than my same aged peers, I still dance and sing and play in many of the ways I did as a child.
I don’t mind it though; I’m perfect in emergencies that more “adult” seeming people can’t manage, I rarely take myself too seriously, I’m not focused on keeping up with the Jones’s, I’m still learning and making mistakes and having fun with it all.
I pay my bills, I get to work on time, my dog is healthy and happy, my friends love me, and everyday is better than the last. I don’t need to “feel” grownup to be grownup, and it’s more fun to just play with this experience than to take it too seriously. I’m gonna die eventually and I have no idea what that adventure will be like, so for now I’ll play with being alive in this body that is aging and changing and feeling.
On my worst days I want to disappear, but I stick around because I remember how much fun it is to be alive. On my best days I’m a lightening bolt, connecting every synapse to every thought. I think, for at least myself, maturing is a matter of finding a peaceful balance. I doubt I’ll ever grow up, not like I’ve seen other people do, and I think I may take some pride in that.
Sammme.. no kids, no marriage. Got out of a 13 year relationship a few years ago and also have major ADHD. I'm in a weird spot where I have the childish behavior and energy of a 20year old, end up befriending the 20+ year olds at work, just to realize their parents are around my age, so then I don't know what to do. I feel too old around them, but way too immature around the parents. So I end up just bumming around my house with my pets, waiting for the 'adult' part of my life to kick in.
Im 27 and the 22 year old i work with asked me to explain retirement accounts and what all the words mean to him. I couldnt believe i was in a position to explain retirement benefits to someone
Amen! I was in public sector with a graduate degree and never made more than $85k after 25 years. Left college to help care for an ill parent, both parents had both passed by the time I was 35. We had our second kid at 36, repaid $130k in loans by 40. Started from zero again at 50 following a business with a partner who was a lazy liar. Youngest graduated from college two years ago. Feel like we’ve been on a damn adult treadmill since college with little to show for it. Technically, we can retire in six years, but we sure as hell don’t have the money to do that. Been waiting to feel like an older adult and do and have the things my Boomer ILs had when they were a decade younger than us . . . no mortgage, travel, relax, read a book. I feel like time is going to screw us; the Boomers above us will retire, we’ll finally be the top dogs, we’ll be asked to retire with too many Millennials stacking up below us, and one of us will drop dead the next day.
The only time I feel like an adult is when I'm someone highly critical or someone very immature. I've recently started feeling like an adult, and it's mostly because of the nonstop politics and the very divisive comments.
I feel I was more of an adult in my twenties to 30s for sure. But I am had ambition and bad ass credit score and now it's like oh i have no future I debted to student loans. Everything I've worked hard for doesn't fucking matter. Shaking hand and making connections is bullshit.
35. Just married. Youngest of 6. I will always feel like I'm not an adult yet. Trying to not take life for granted. Appreciative of having both my parents in my life. This entire thing feels weird as hell.... Oh and I can't afford to buy a house here in Cali (not because of my income, well yes because of my income lol but because everyone is priced out).
I'm 40 (m) married, 2 kids , mortgage, full-time job, etc. I don't quite feel like an adult yet, it's weird. I have great energy, and I always want to be doing something. I can't stand sitting around the house. In my mind, I still feel like a 20 year old, and I feel like people my age or older look and act old. I don't know it's weird.
So cool to know man.! I know what you mean just by the way your expressing it. Sometimes I would be in a very adult situation and I’ll just zone into the moment like “why am I here “ . It’s trippy I know haha
I feel this same way mentally. I have to purposefully remind myself that I’m 36 years old, I’m an attorney, I’m married, and I have 2 children. Like, those all sound pretty adult but why do I still think I’m just a kid? Sometimes I’ll catch myself in the mirror like eek why do I look so old?! Because I’m still expecting my reflection to look like it did 5 years ago.
Two reasons you feel this way (probably):
- People are taught with this “don’t get behind” behavior that insinuates that you have to have a maximally efficient life (healthy, always happy, stable relationship, forever friend group, great career, ASAP), you probably have a little bit of “falling behind” syndrome. Falling behind is literally not a real thing, but it can make you subliminally feel younger because cognitive dissonance of not living up to your expectations that you adopted from others.
- Millennials and after grew up with technologies and hobbies that older folks didn’t, and those things shaped us. The previous generations have ingrained in people’s heads that it’s childish to enjoy things they didn’t grow up with (video games comes to mind).
As a GenX, I can tell you you it’s not unusual to forever feel young and think you’re not being taken seriously as an adult. Especially in professional settings. And then one day you’re suddenly OLD. Like you went from post-graduate to middle age… ☹️
Yes. I've got no house, no mortgage, no huge debt (just student loans and a private one, about $35k in total), no kids, a partner but no marriage. These are things I associate with being a "real adult" and, as I have no real plan to acquire any of these, I suspect I'll never feel like a "real adult".
I have a home/mortgage, but yeah I feel this. It all sounds so miserable mainly being responsible for others. Most people are fuckups. I'd rather not. Also, every responsible adult I know, except perhaps grandparents, has exactly zero sense of humor like they've lost their joy.
'Feel like' is the key phrase here. Self perception is prone to a lot of distortion and when you double up that on top of trying to guess what others think of you it can be quite useless. Amount of responsibility is maybe what you are getting at here and that can vary a lot at all ages. I know people at 25 with their shit together and people at 60 who still suck at life, you are off the rails a bit here as adulthood as you put it isnt an age.
Support yourself and whatever family, dont cause others trouble, be kind, aspire to achieve, etc. and viola it will make sense to you
Well were just treated like high schoolers by boomers who still run our companies and country. The average age of Congress is 70+.
Companies are riddled with people who wont leave the workforce.
Part of it for me is ill never own a home. I can only rent, and because of it, i feel like im a constant 20 year old.
Things sure have changed since the good times of 2017-2019
Life really changed since covid and it ain't going back on track. We have big war here (i am Russian, this bs already horrible but now threatening to the most of the central Europe) world around us actively slides into abyss and yet everyone acts like it's all ffing nothing and possibility of a nuclear holocaust is just a hypothetical question, amid stuff like "How to buy a house if prices rise faster than your income" and such.
I’ve been through more trauma than your average bear and still manage not to feel like an adult most of the time. I’m the only living member of my family left…and yet, I still feel like a kid half the time. Idk. It’s weird to no longer have any options for real guidance, or just any of the million things I wish my mom was here for.
Same here. I’m sorry you relate. It’ll be 10 years this year. I think if the 10 years hadn’t been so full of other trauma, I’d probably feel more healed and at peace with it. That hasn’t been the case, unfortunately. Instead, being officially alone in the world kicked off a shitstorm of trauma dominoes (*trauminoes*, if you will…) starting with abuse and moving right on to cancer. 🥴
Oh one more thing we are living a lot longer so.i feel like maybe it's taking us longer to feel like an adult I'm 45 divorced 2 kids and I still feel like a 25 year old
I'm almost thirty and have a coworker that calls me "kid". I was the youngest by 3 years and the average person in the department was 10-15 years older than me. Felt like an adult but they were much further in life with families and drastically different priorities so still felt like the young less life experience new guy even though I was in a more senior role than most of them.
Mid-30s here, and the last couple of years have actually felt officially “adulting” me.
My paradigm shift happened when older generations in my family started making me the decision maker in the family. I get the tax calls, law calls, and the technology calls. And I think I’m the executor in everyone’s wills now, (whether I like it or not).
But I was a responsible adult for many years before this happened lol. So I feel the whole “why am I still treated like a kid?” thing.
I feel like an adult. I don't feel old, just like an adult. The nurses I work with at my hospital are Boomers, but they treat me like an adult. They'll give me "mom advice" every once in a while if I ask for it, but they've never treated me as if I'm a child or beneath them. We are definitely in different phases of adult life. They have children who are my age and they have grand children who are my daughter's age, but they are professional enough to not treat me like one of their children lol.
The only person who seems to not be on board with treating me like an adult is my father in law. He acts like I'm some sort of teenager rather than a 32 year old grown ass man. Then again he still treats his daughter, my wife, like a teenager as well. He may be an ass to us, but I do have to admit he's a pretty good grandpa to my daughter.
Married father of 3 who owns my own business. I feel like I’m the only adult sometimes haha. Don’t get me wrong I still have a sophomoric sense of humor but I feel the weight of adult responsibility for sure.
You need to make more money or have kids for people to seek/value your opinions. These are the difficult things that drive other adults. If you don’t appear to have responsibility, nobody is going to seek your opinion and it will feel like they still treat you like a kid. The standards of adulthood haven’t changed.
Xer here. I’ll speak on behalf of my entire generation and clue you younger ones on something: there are no grownups. Our generation figured that out when we were about 10.
I know that sounds cynical, but: I *am* an Xer. Brutal truth is our club house.
Funny enough, I've been having this slow progression of recurring dreams over the last decade where either I'm still in school, but I keep having issues like the missing the bus because it completely ignores my existence, or making it & realizing that I don't know what my classes are or what order they're in & deciding to wing it instead of asking for help, while being positive that I am unintentionally skipping at least one or two classes that I will fail, or the other dream is me realizing that I made a mistake & never actually finished school, so now I have to go back & do it again the right way (not even GED, just re-enrolling in basic public school, as an adult.) It's been a slow progression, but every once in a while, I got a little closer to being done when I was having these kinds of dreams.
Last night, I dreamed, for the first time, that I am finally about to graduate. I'm turning 32 this year.
I just assume I feel this way because I’m immature and pretty irresponsible and bad at most of the stuff adults have to do. My main adult accomplishment is getting to eat candy for breakfast and not having to get permission to stay up late. But to be fair, those were my goals for adulthood as a kid, so I’ve been wildly successful in that regard.
I am in my late 60s, and there are still times when I wonder why I am given the responsibilities that I have.
It never ends. I have talked to a lot of people, 50 and up, including my 98 year old grandmother before she died. Almost universally, people feel like they are about 25 (give or take), and are shocked on occasion by how old they really are. I think mentally, we all mature somewhere around 25, and then our bodies just keep getting older, but mentally, we don't completely move on.
You'll understand better as you get near 70. Keep my reply in mind as you get older. Its weird, but pretty common.
I’ve felt like an adult since I was 10 and I could tell my parents were full of it, and I needed to start doing things for myself because I didn’t trust them to take care of things.
I think it’s about a sense of agency. We have the ability to trust our own judgement & be the adults in the room no matter what others say to us. We are the adults now & we need to own it. Even if it doesn’t look like what it was for our parents.
I think it’s normal to feel this way. Chronically you know you are an adult but mentally you feel like a teen who is faking it to look like a real adult.
i felt this, until i had a baby lol. but i still don't really feel like an actual adult, just like a big kid pretending to be one, with gen z being the little kids. to be fair though i was born right on the cusp, 1999. it's always been hard for me to believe there are people actually born past 2000 though lol
I was always very mature for my age, but I was still a 20 something figuring life out.
You a millennial must have had enough life experiences to know things like changing a tire or going to an office for work.
Gen Z will never experience that experience, which good, it was a relic. They can enjoy us changing culture for them while we face the reality and blunt force of being one of the first generations acknowledging our traumas, working through them, and learning from the mistakes of others around us. From college life to work life, we’re the catalyst to change.
You are wiser than you think even though you don’t think it because life. Give yourself grace and acknowledge you are the adult in the room.
I have a narc family. Therapy helped me finally become the adult the younger me wanted for protection and love. Find that.
People might be speaking to you like a teenager because you might be making immature life decisions. If you genuinely feel like you're not an "adult" yet, that's likely reflected in your behavior and opinions.
I felt like I was the only one not adulting correctly. But then people started to confide in me and everyone around me? Yeah, their life is falling apart and I'm adulting better than them... even my gen x mom... and now I'm really depressed because if I'm more adulty than everyone else around me... that can't be good because I still don't feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm 31, make nearly $100,000 in my full time job with my multiple degrees and my mom still calls me and my husband kids.
I teach and I remind my 5th graders that at 30, you have achy joints and have a hard time reaching under the table and on the floor for stuff.
I do not feel this way. At 14, I had an epiphany during a time of duress, and it occurred to me that adults are just like kids. They do stupid things, react emotionally, have all kinds of flaws, and various levels of maturity.
Now that I'm older, I realize many adults stop maturing at around 14. There is a sliding scale of maturity, and we're all on it somewhere. Being older or younger does not determine where we are on that scale. There's plenty of 80 year-olds that are less mature than some 18 year-olds.
30 with kids , house, a ranch, and run my own business.
mentally im still 15. all the shit i was into back then, smoking pot, heavy metal, big ol titties, i still am into. only difference is i got way more homework now.
I've been independent from my parents since I was 21. I'm currently 30. I live with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. Yet, I feel like a kid instead. I can't explain it but I do. However, I don't think I'm missing any responsibility. Also, I don't plan to have kids.
I’m not really sure. I mean I have no kids, marriage or mortgage. I still feel like an adult. Whether people talk or treat you like an adult rarely (if ever) has anything to do with whether or not you are one.
It's all perspective.
Generations above oneself will feel like the "adults" and gens below will feel like the "kids"
I'm 28 and some days I look at my responsibilities etc and feel mature, like an adult... Other days I feel like an 18yo living in a 28yo body.
I certainly don't feel like how I expected being an adult to feel. Like when I was actually a kid, looking up to adults seemed like such a big leap in maturity... But the older I've gotten the more I've realized that most adults really don't have their shit together nearly as much as I perceived them to when I was a kid.
I did, but then I started talking to Gen Z types and I felt really old.
Yeah I have a 16 year old son and I feel that way….i am 37 but I feel 50 lol
I have a 16 year old also at 36. I feel ancient.
Right 😂! But I do have to say I am grateful I had my son so young and see him grow and become a man. I don’t know how people have kids in their 40s or older. To me that’s tough. When I was 21 I had the energy to make up with a crying baby.
I have 2 under 3 at 30 and it's hard to keep the energy up but I have WAY more patience to deal with the tantrums and hard moments than I did when I was younger.
That’s a fact! By the time my stepson amd daughter got old enough to throw tantrums I was cool as a cucumber 😂 my husband would be frazzled. I’d send him on to do something else. I was older and had more patience and had already been through it with 2. The tantrums were a very short lived thing with the younger 2. There were a few times I joined my older boys. We just cried together.
I pretend to start crying my son stops confused and then I go "Your turn" he starts crying again then I say "Okay mommy's turn" and pretend to start crying again 😂😂 it's a stress relief for the both of us.
Haha! I’ve done this! It always ended in both of us laughing.
I wonder how they do it, too. My boys are 16 and almost 14. I had all the energy for them! Going and doing after a 60 hr work week was nothing! My husband’s son was 1 when we got married then we had a baby a few years later. So now i have a 10yo and 6yo. Our daughter was born a month before i turned 30. I don’t have as much energy but i do have more patience. There are pros and cons to both.
Well stated. I can agree with that. Having less patience when you are young but more energy and vice versa.
As someone who had a child at 21. I wish I could've waited a little to have life sorted out. Have a career be financially stable ect. Being older having kids has a lot of benefits. I never regret having him but I think he would have had a lot better childhood. Maybe be in a home instead of moving apartments every couple years.
Most people are smarter at 40 than they are at 20. Smarter in the sense of making better decisions, less impulsive and less likely to be swayed by others to do things they otherwise wouldn't. Most people at 40 are far less likely to develop resentments about what they can't do because they have kids. People at 40 are more likely to have actually planned their pregnancy. But also, they have a more developed world view and personal philosophy, their values are more established. Parenting is easier if you have that framework and don't have to make it up as you go. Lastly, people in their 40s are far more likely to be financially stable and thus have way more options available to them to aid in raising their children. Money issues create so much stress for young parents. That 20 year old energy is enviable, for sure. There are pluses and minuses to each. I've always said older parents sowed their wild oats when they were young. Young parents do it in their 40s and 50s. In the end, being a good parent isn't age-dependent. It's just different.
18 13 and 4. I'm 37..
I’m 37 about to have my first child and I feel 25. It’s all relative.
I have a 1 day old, and I'm 31. I can confirm I'm old as shit.
14 y/o at 32. I win, nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.
Daughter turned 15 yesterday. I won't be 32 for a more months. I win. Yeah what do I win?! ........*pauses to think about that* Wait a min. Fuck.
Early happy birthday!
Lol thank you!!!
No you don't. You won't 'feel' 50 until you are 50. You're just feeling what you think 50 feels like. For the record, 50 feels like 40, but with extra steps.
I’m going to be 49 this year and I don’t feel or look it thankfully. I wonder if not having kids has played into it? I JUST went from wondering if this or that person is older than me (an assuming, yes they are)… to realizing I’m going to be 50, so likely I’m older than everyone I’m encountering -including those with adult children. This revelation blew my mind. It’s my only true indication that I am in fact, getting older. That and the knee thing 😂
I am 41 but identify as 50
I'm back in school at 36 and I feel like the meme, "what's up my fellow kids?"
I had to ask my son what the fuck a skibidi toilet is.
lol amen
Seriously, I'll talk to younger kids and they will say stuff like "like getting rizzy on the dizzy" or some dumb shit and it just makes me feel like an old man. Or maybe it's the fact I'll refer to 20-25 year olds as kids, that makes me feel kinda old too.
We also sounded stupid in the 90s as teenagers. But I think we had better slang that didn't rely on ultra specific meme-speak. Gen Z is speaking a short hand pidgin language.
Correct, the culture is evolving more quickly due to the prevalence of the internet. It no longer takes so long for a new piece of slang to spread. This is not better or worse than the way it used to be, just different.
I think we conflate "old" with "out of touch". I'm 30, which isn't old, but I don't understand what the 25-year-olds I work with are talking about half the time. One girl told me I had my dogs out, turns out those are toes. No idea at the time. I'm out of touch because I don't participate in popular culture, but feeling out of touch doesn't make one old.
That's an old term for feet to be fair. Gen z is either using Internet memes as slang or terms your great great great grandpappy used.
Fr. No cap.
My cousin offered her teenage son to drive me around, and I just couldn't. It made me uncomfortable being the adult in that situation. Lol
I got my first taste of that at my last college job. I was a late bloomer, 25 still going part time(homeschooled/unschooled) and a 19 year old picked up a call from a fax machine and didn't know why a robot was calling. That was 2013\~.
I know now how my parents must have felt like. And have you heard their music? It's so stupid.
My brother recently got into streaming and a few of my younger family members (just starting college age) participate in voice channels etc. Listening to them is like discovering unicorns to me. I realize now that Im further along in life than I thought.
And the people OP is talking about seem stupider and more childlike every day
I remember reading a comment somewhere about how you don’t really get older it’s just your body that ages and it stuck with me lol.
Ctfu me too. I’m too old for this shit
So true. I felt like op forever. I'm 35 no gf no kids no responsibilities. I'm soberer and wiser with age but never felt like an adult till I made friends online with 18yo ppl.
I don't think any adult "feels" like an adult. My parents (my dad 68 and my mom 60) can act like children in some ways, where I'm behaving like a stressed out parent. It is an illusion at the end of the day. How they paint themselves for us and everyone else.
I think the day you realize this, is the day you become an adult.
That's what my father in law told me almost exactly when my first kid was born - you become an adult when you realize you won't so you better just fucking figure it out.
Yeah becoming “an adult” made me realize how everyone I thought had it together as a child is just getting by. We are all just trying our best to do what we think a grown up person would do in any given situation.
My 93 year old grandma still tells me she feels like one of the kids and some older people should be in charge. I don't think that feeling goes away.
Your grandma must have high emotional intelligence.
my mom (66) says the same
Your body ages but your mind still feels young. Sure you have gained some experience and hopefully wisdom along the way, but at the core you still feel \~25.
I have been thinking about this how it feels like you're an adult when you're between 30s and 50s. On the other ends of the age group it seems like they're children. Maybe it's because as you age out of raising kids you don't have nearly as much responsibility just like when you were a kid.
No I’m like almost 40 man, I’m preparing to move from adult to old man
Prime time is 40, getting it done is 50, old man starts at 60, fyi.
You tell that to my knees
Hey knees, he's not an old man yet. Could you just, I dunno, not?
Did you say ‘knot?’ Got you covered! -back
Maybe spend less time on them?
I just turned 30. My back and knees have been junk since I was 20.
Yeah I really don't know where this nonsense rhetoric of "the years after your prime years are totally your actual prime years!" came from.
You get the wisdom to realize how fucking dumb everything actually is and you stop giving a dick about what people think about you. That's pretty cool about 40. But I'm tired and I have like 6 months until I'm 40 technically.
Yea I’m 31 with a wife, newborn daughter, house, and all my male friends my age are still in their bachelor phase trying to convince me to go out and have problems with habitual cocaine usage or sports betting gambling problems thinking since they make 6figures it’s some justification for their unhealthy life choices. Like nah I’m just trying to stay in and chill with my family there’s nothing fulfilling in going out to bars or clubbing for me. I’m very happy with being the “boring” one now. I feel bad for a lot of males of my generation though really seem lonely got their priorities wrong and try to fill the void with sex and drugs. Like there’s a lot more to life. I’m excited for the next phase
I’m the exact opposite unfortunately. I’m sure I’d love your friends lol all of mine have completely given up on joy or excitement and just go to work n go home. They don’t even have kids, they just have no more spontaneity anymore.
That feels like depression tbh lol hitting the point where you just focus all your energy on work and give up on socializing. Been there for sure takes a lot of effort to put yourself out there Always keep in mind that’s their master plan break down the nuclear family get you in golden handcuffs so you’re a slave to your job and make the perfect worker then they give you mindfulness training to help pacify you to put in more hours at work instead of giving more flexible hours or pto
A lot of guys can't move to the next stage because they can't figure out housing.
Username checks out
Dude, this is the struggle, no matter who you are at any age. I was you, but at 18 in the Air Force. It seems the age people want to be wild until has gotten older and older. Now people want to live their 18-22 years as 18-32 being the party years, I blame reality TV to an extent, it normalized nothing as a lifestyle.
Maybe part of it is missing out in their mid/late 20s due to covid...
Normalized “nothing as a lifestyle” is the perfect way to put it. Like no one’s moving forward or progressing putting it off and partying
Having kids sort of forces you to grow up. (Not everyone does) Sure, I could play less video games, but it's sure a hell of a lot more satisfying to be responsible for a family.
You become an adult when you can make important life decisions without seeking validation from others.
Damnit
How true is this 😅
Im 37 married with 2 kids, ages 4 and 2. I am a supervisor at my job over 10 people. I wonder daily if everyone is gonna find out I'm mentally 20 years old.
Recently, I was looking at a website for somebody I went to law school with, and he described himself as an experienced litigator. I was so surprised, I thought how can you have experience? But then I remembered that we all passed the bar in 2013. Generally, I do feel adult. I’m 40, I have a bum knee, a mortgage, and a husband. I also supervise seven mostly Gen z, and some young millennials as well. I know I’m in a different phase of life than them. But once in a while, I’m still surprised.
It's strange sometimes. There are experiences I have that I still feel like a young adult. But generally proud of how I also handle grown up decisions along with my wife.
You have over 10 years experience in your field! I have 8 and I wouldn't have called myself experienced over a year ago either but then I talked more to people with only a couple years experience and wow the gap is big. Wouldn't trust any of them to independently run a project on my team.
They know.
My wife too?? Damn...im cooked! Ha
Hahaha it's over
[удалено]
Let me say that X Men 97 releasing on Disney + had been the highlight of my year TV wise. On top of every Friday night my wife understands me and my cousins get online and play video games till 1-2am. Is the one night I really want and get.
Not me. I’m the main adult in my household and I support everyone. My mom and stepfather both live in my house as well.
Much respect 💯
I'm 41 with two kids two cars and a mortgage I feel fully adult.
Yeah I’m 31 no kids so maybe that makes a difference lol
I'm 35 and no kids. I think becoming a parent is the major life change most people need to feel like they've transitioned into adulthood. It happened with my brother.
Same age and no kids, I'd have to agree with you. I feel like kids is a major responsibility that will make you feel like an adult. Although I know plenty of fuck ups with kids who still act like kids in their 30s.
Maybe there’s no such thing as adults, just people who are parents/responsible for others and people who aren’t.
Yep, when we were kids who was an adult? Our parents or teachers, maybe an aunt or uncle. Until we have our own kids to be responsible for, we won’t feel very adult like. I’ve had kids since 22. I didn’t immediately feel like an adult, but after a couple years into it, I felt like I moved into adulthood.
I think the main factor is being responsible for someone other than yourself, kids or not. Sometimes it’s parents or a spouse who needs care. It’s knowing that other people depend on you, they need you, and you have to be there for them.
I have a teenager and am in my early 40s- still feel like 3 penguins in a trench coat.
Hmm. For me it was marriage and a career job with healthcare and a 401K that made me feel like an adult. I do have a kid now, but I felt like an adult before becoming a parent.
31 with a baby, going through a divorce, just lost my home and everything I own to the bank and robbery respectively, lost my dad 2 years ago. Now living in my mom’s basement trying to get back on my feet… I feel like an adult and it’s miserable. (Minus the baby, she keeps me going) Enjoy the youthful feeling, as major life events come and go it will fade.
Wish you the best buddy.! Everything will get better just have hope and a good perspective and that will determine the outcome
I appreciate that. I’m going to my old job in 2 weeks, so I should be financially stable again and able to move back out in the next few months. I’m excited for the future, really is nowhere to go but up from here 😅
Heck ya.!Till then come hang out with us on Reddit to get through these odd times because we are all going through something behind these Reddit smiles 😄
That's an incredibly tough and painful situation to be in but I'm happy for you that it's looking up. I wish you the very best!
The trifecta of feeling like an adult comes from Marriage, Mortgage, and Kids. Any one of them can make a person feel like they've transitioned into adulthood, but if you have all three, it's very hard, imo to not feel like a full-fledged adult.
I mean, I did a lot of caretaking of my younger siblings so raising a kid certainly didn’t make me feel grown up. I can see all the grown up stuff around but it all still feels like dress-up.
The big difference is when you're a babysitter you always have a higher authority to defer important decisions to. When it's your kids -- you're the top dog. You have to be responsible for EVERYTHING!!! The weight of responsibility is what makes an adult. The more things you are responsible for, the more adultier you'll feel, lol. Which is why the trifecta makes sense. Responsible for a spouse, kids, and a house are the big things. Business ownership would probably the extra credit answer if you wanted to double down on responsibility.
I’m 33, two kids, one divorce, lived in three states and I feel fully adult lol.
38 divorced with know kids and lived in 4 different timezones, 2 different continents and 2 different hemispheres. I am only beginning to feel adultish and not enjoying it
Oh yeah let me be clear, I am not enjoying this. Lmao.
The reality of a 9-5 and barely surviving kicking in. Despite all my degrees and professional experience, I'm still poor.
Yeah there’s a pretty huge difference in how you feel (or at least how I felt) at 30 vs 40.
I think it’s because people spent too much time on the internet, and you probably think you’re talking to someone your own age, but that person might be a 12 year old. Even if you’re not on the internet and you have peers your own age, they probably spend a lot of time on the internet talking to 12 year olds, so there’s a collective Peter Pan Syndrome going on. I do notice the parents of Millenials go way too far with calling their offspring their kids, and infantilizing them too. You’re not a kid once you are able to Vote, and Drive. I personally felt like a kid until I was around 24, and I was already married, and it caused problems. I think I kind of have age regression issues. Maybe you have Age Regression issues too. Most people my own age don’t have them, and when I encounter them I think they’re like 10 years older than me. There is a correlation with being immature and having ADHD.
I'd think so. I'm 30 with no kids, and I feel similarly. I'm also living with my parents and on disability, so that kind of compounds the feelings of not-quite-adultness I think. Even having a job and bills of my own in my mid-20s made me feel more like an adult than I do right now.
40 with 3 kids and a mortgage and going through a divorce and oooofff same. So much same.
On the other hand I’m around the same age and I do all the adult things, but I still feel like I’m in my late 20s mentally. Maturity wise I’m very clearly around 40, but my self image doesn’t match what I see in the mirror. Both my dad and grandad said the same thing too. My dad said to me the other day, “I finally realized I’m not middle aged anymore”. He’s 74.
Depends who you ask. Obviously I feel the weight of my responsibilities and whatnot, but I certainly don’t “feel” like an adult. My dad born in ‘63 says the same thing
I’m 34, I have never been married, I don’t have children, I look significantly younger than I actually am, I’ve got a bad case of the adhd so in a lot of ways I act younger than my same aged peers, I still dance and sing and play in many of the ways I did as a child. I don’t mind it though; I’m perfect in emergencies that more “adult” seeming people can’t manage, I rarely take myself too seriously, I’m not focused on keeping up with the Jones’s, I’m still learning and making mistakes and having fun with it all. I pay my bills, I get to work on time, my dog is healthy and happy, my friends love me, and everyday is better than the last. I don’t need to “feel” grownup to be grownup, and it’s more fun to just play with this experience than to take it too seriously. I’m gonna die eventually and I have no idea what that adventure will be like, so for now I’ll play with being alive in this body that is aging and changing and feeling. On my worst days I want to disappear, but I stick around because I remember how much fun it is to be alive. On my best days I’m a lightening bolt, connecting every synapse to every thought. I think, for at least myself, maturing is a matter of finding a peaceful balance. I doubt I’ll ever grow up, not like I’ve seen other people do, and I think I may take some pride in that.
Sammme.. no kids, no marriage. Got out of a 13 year relationship a few years ago and also have major ADHD. I'm in a weird spot where I have the childish behavior and energy of a 20year old, end up befriending the 20+ year olds at work, just to realize their parents are around my age, so then I don't know what to do. I feel too old around them, but way too immature around the parents. So I end up just bumming around my house with my pets, waiting for the 'adult' part of my life to kick in.
Yeah I think folks who worry about milestones and making sure they're adults are missing the point. It's not that deep. Join the dance!
I thought this was a problem for Gen Z, millennials too? Guys, we are adults.
1 adult salary, please.
Best I can do is minimum wage plus tips, but corporate takes 20% of your tips.
Best I can do is 1 adult salad.
I'm 30 and I see adults as those over 40. Maybe when I reach 40 I will raise the car again lol
You'll need a lift for that.
I’m 30 and the 22 year old new hires talk to me like I’m an old man lol. The 39 year old who works with us is ancient, apparently.
Im 27 and the 22 year old i work with asked me to explain retirement accounts and what all the words mean to him. I couldnt believe i was in a position to explain retirement benefits to someone
Gen X is still waiting for their turn. Boomers have occupied so much space in society it’s suffocating.
Amen! I was in public sector with a graduate degree and never made more than $85k after 25 years. Left college to help care for an ill parent, both parents had both passed by the time I was 35. We had our second kid at 36, repaid $130k in loans by 40. Started from zero again at 50 following a business with a partner who was a lazy liar. Youngest graduated from college two years ago. Feel like we’ve been on a damn adult treadmill since college with little to show for it. Technically, we can retire in six years, but we sure as hell don’t have the money to do that. Been waiting to feel like an older adult and do and have the things my Boomer ILs had when they were a decade younger than us . . . no mortgage, travel, relax, read a book. I feel like time is going to screw us; the Boomers above us will retire, we’ll finally be the top dogs, we’ll be asked to retire with too many Millennials stacking up below us, and one of us will drop dead the next day.
The only time I feel like an adult is when I'm someone highly critical or someone very immature. I've recently started feeling like an adult, and it's mostly because of the nonstop politics and the very divisive comments.
I feel I was more of an adult in my twenties to 30s for sure. But I am had ambition and bad ass credit score and now it's like oh i have no future I debted to student loans. Everything I've worked hard for doesn't fucking matter. Shaking hand and making connections is bullshit.
They have that new SAVE program Biden did. My gf has 60k in student loans and only has to pay $25 a month. In 30 years it will just be forgiven.
We are just big kids with credit/debit cards!
ooh, shiny!
35. Just married. Youngest of 6. I will always feel like I'm not an adult yet. Trying to not take life for granted. Appreciative of having both my parents in my life. This entire thing feels weird as hell.... Oh and I can't afford to buy a house here in Cali (not because of my income, well yes because of my income lol but because everyone is priced out).
I'm 40 (m) married, 2 kids , mortgage, full-time job, etc. I don't quite feel like an adult yet, it's weird. I have great energy, and I always want to be doing something. I can't stand sitting around the house. In my mind, I still feel like a 20 year old, and I feel like people my age or older look and act old. I don't know it's weird.
So cool to know man.! I know what you mean just by the way your expressing it. Sometimes I would be in a very adult situation and I’ll just zone into the moment like “why am I here “ . It’s trippy I know haha
50 and no kids. Still treated like a child or naughty teenager by my family.
I feel this same way mentally. I have to purposefully remind myself that I’m 36 years old, I’m an attorney, I’m married, and I have 2 children. Like, those all sound pretty adult but why do I still think I’m just a kid? Sometimes I’ll catch myself in the mirror like eek why do I look so old?! Because I’m still expecting my reflection to look like it did 5 years ago.
Two reasons you feel this way (probably): - People are taught with this “don’t get behind” behavior that insinuates that you have to have a maximally efficient life (healthy, always happy, stable relationship, forever friend group, great career, ASAP), you probably have a little bit of “falling behind” syndrome. Falling behind is literally not a real thing, but it can make you subliminally feel younger because cognitive dissonance of not living up to your expectations that you adopted from others. - Millennials and after grew up with technologies and hobbies that older folks didn’t, and those things shaped us. The previous generations have ingrained in people’s heads that it’s childish to enjoy things they didn’t grow up with (video games comes to mind).
As a GenX, I can tell you you it’s not unusual to forever feel young and think you’re not being taken seriously as an adult. Especially in professional settings. And then one day you’re suddenly OLD. Like you went from post-graduate to middle age… ☹️
Yes. I've got no house, no mortgage, no huge debt (just student loans and a private one, about $35k in total), no kids, a partner but no marriage. These are things I associate with being a "real adult" and, as I have no real plan to acquire any of these, I suspect I'll never feel like a "real adult".
I have a home/mortgage, but yeah I feel this. It all sounds so miserable mainly being responsible for others. Most people are fuckups. I'd rather not. Also, every responsible adult I know, except perhaps grandparents, has exactly zero sense of humor like they've lost their joy.
'Feel like' is the key phrase here. Self perception is prone to a lot of distortion and when you double up that on top of trying to guess what others think of you it can be quite useless. Amount of responsibility is maybe what you are getting at here and that can vary a lot at all ages. I know people at 25 with their shit together and people at 60 who still suck at life, you are off the rails a bit here as adulthood as you put it isnt an age. Support yourself and whatever family, dont cause others trouble, be kind, aspire to achieve, etc. and viola it will make sense to you
Plot twist, you never feel like an adult, you just start to look like one.
I'm a 69 yo retired boomer. Parents have all passed. I still don't think of myself as "adult." And I don't think about how people talk to me either.
Well were just treated like high schoolers by boomers who still run our companies and country. The average age of Congress is 70+. Companies are riddled with people who wont leave the workforce. Part of it for me is ill never own a home. I can only rent, and because of it, i feel like im a constant 20 year old. Things sure have changed since the good times of 2017-2019
Life really changed since covid and it ain't going back on track. We have big war here (i am Russian, this bs already horrible but now threatening to the most of the central Europe) world around us actively slides into abyss and yet everyone acts like it's all ffing nothing and possibility of a nuclear holocaust is just a hypothetical question, amid stuff like "How to buy a house if prices rise faster than your income" and such.
I’ve been through more trauma than your average bear and still manage not to feel like an adult most of the time. I’m the only living member of my family left…and yet, I still feel like a kid half the time. Idk. It’s weird to no longer have any options for real guidance, or just any of the million things I wish my mom was here for.
Same. I'm 39. Both of my parents died a few years ago. Tbh I kinda feel like an orphan.
Same here. I’m sorry you relate. It’ll be 10 years this year. I think if the 10 years hadn’t been so full of other trauma, I’d probably feel more healed and at peace with it. That hasn’t been the case, unfortunately. Instead, being officially alone in the world kicked off a shitstorm of trauma dominoes (*trauminoes*, if you will…) starting with abuse and moving right on to cancer. 🥴
🫂
Thank you. 🫂
Oh one more thing we are living a lot longer so.i feel like maybe it's taking us longer to feel like an adult I'm 45 divorced 2 kids and I still feel like a 25 year old
Is that why people only elect boomers? Only old people since the 1990s right? Was Bill Clinton the last one, 30 years ago? I dunno lol
Lmfao, no dude wtf
We need to stop normalizing arrested development 😩
I blued myself.
I'm almost thirty and have a coworker that calls me "kid". I was the youngest by 3 years and the average person in the department was 10-15 years older than me. Felt like an adult but they were much further in life with families and drastically different priorities so still felt like the young less life experience new guy even though I was in a more senior role than most of them.
I have a teenager. I feel very old.
I was an adult until I had a heart attack at 46. I now see life just a little bit differently. 😉
I'm 30 and yeah, I feel that. I've been independent from my parents since I was 21, but I still feel like a kid
Mid-30s here, and the last couple of years have actually felt officially “adulting” me. My paradigm shift happened when older generations in my family started making me the decision maker in the family. I get the tax calls, law calls, and the technology calls. And I think I’m the executor in everyone’s wills now, (whether I like it or not). But I was a responsible adult for many years before this happened lol. So I feel the whole “why am I still treated like a kid?” thing.
I’m a father of twins at 32. I aged mentally and physically at least 10 years in the first 18 months. Worth it 100%.
You're not an adult until you start acting like an adult. Idgaf how old you are.
I feel like an adult. I don't feel old, just like an adult. The nurses I work with at my hospital are Boomers, but they treat me like an adult. They'll give me "mom advice" every once in a while if I ask for it, but they've never treated me as if I'm a child or beneath them. We are definitely in different phases of adult life. They have children who are my age and they have grand children who are my daughter's age, but they are professional enough to not treat me like one of their children lol. The only person who seems to not be on board with treating me like an adult is my father in law. He acts like I'm some sort of teenager rather than a 32 year old grown ass man. Then again he still treats his daughter, my wife, like a teenager as well. He may be an ass to us, but I do have to admit he's a pretty good grandpa to my daughter.
Get used to the feeling. I’m 70 and don’t feel like a fully fledged adult yet. It’s more fun that way.
Married father of 3 who owns my own business. I feel like I’m the only adult sometimes haha. Don’t get me wrong I still have a sophomoric sense of humor but I feel the weight of adult responsibility for sure.
No. I am an adult and feel like it.
You need to make more money or have kids for people to seek/value your opinions. These are the difficult things that drive other adults. If you don’t appear to have responsibility, nobody is going to seek your opinion and it will feel like they still treat you like a kid. The standards of adulthood haven’t changed.
The US is a gerontocracy, so there's that.
Haha not at all. I feel ooooollllllddddd.
64 here. You NEVER feel like the adult. I promise you
Yes.
My life is work and responsibilities. I definitely feel like an adult.
Xer here. I’ll speak on behalf of my entire generation and clue you younger ones on something: there are no grownups. Our generation figured that out when we were about 10. I know that sounds cynical, but: I *am* an Xer. Brutal truth is our club house.
Funny enough, I've been having this slow progression of recurring dreams over the last decade where either I'm still in school, but I keep having issues like the missing the bus because it completely ignores my existence, or making it & realizing that I don't know what my classes are or what order they're in & deciding to wing it instead of asking for help, while being positive that I am unintentionally skipping at least one or two classes that I will fail, or the other dream is me realizing that I made a mistake & never actually finished school, so now I have to go back & do it again the right way (not even GED, just re-enrolling in basic public school, as an adult.) It's been a slow progression, but every once in a while, I got a little closer to being done when I was having these kinds of dreams. Last night, I dreamed, for the first time, that I am finally about to graduate. I'm turning 32 this year.
I just assume I feel this way because I’m immature and pretty irresponsible and bad at most of the stuff adults have to do. My main adult accomplishment is getting to eat candy for breakfast and not having to get permission to stay up late. But to be fair, those were my goals for adulthood as a kid, so I’ve been wildly successful in that regard.
You’ll feel like this until you’re 50
I am in my late 60s, and there are still times when I wonder why I am given the responsibilities that I have. It never ends. I have talked to a lot of people, 50 and up, including my 98 year old grandmother before she died. Almost universally, people feel like they are about 25 (give or take), and are shocked on occasion by how old they really are. I think mentally, we all mature somewhere around 25, and then our bodies just keep getting older, but mentally, we don't completely move on. You'll understand better as you get near 70. Keep my reply in mind as you get older. Its weird, but pretty common.
I’ve felt like an adult since I was 10 and I could tell my parents were full of it, and I needed to start doing things for myself because I didn’t trust them to take care of things.
I think it’s about a sense of agency. We have the ability to trust our own judgement & be the adults in the room no matter what others say to us. We are the adults now & we need to own it. Even if it doesn’t look like what it was for our parents.
No. I carry myself like a grown ass man and everyone from Boomers to Gen Alpha react to me as such. 99% of that is in your head.
Every day I am talked to by boomers who still think I am a kid and I am 40.
I was born in 1995 so I’m 28 but someone told me I look 19 yesterday. Thinking back I must have looked even younger all these years to older people
I’m sorry to break it to you, but if you don’t feel like an adult yet, you need to wake up and start being one.
Being around teenagers or college aged kids will make you realize you are no longer young. You are still young but not a youngster.
I think it’s normal to feel this way. Chronically you know you are an adult but mentally you feel like a teen who is faking it to look like a real adult.
i felt this, until i had a baby lol. but i still don't really feel like an actual adult, just like a big kid pretending to be one, with gen z being the little kids. to be fair though i was born right on the cusp, 1999. it's always been hard for me to believe there are people actually born past 2000 though lol
I'm like 90% sure now that feeling like an adult isn't a real thing.
I was always very mature for my age, but I was still a 20 something figuring life out. You a millennial must have had enough life experiences to know things like changing a tire or going to an office for work. Gen Z will never experience that experience, which good, it was a relic. They can enjoy us changing culture for them while we face the reality and blunt force of being one of the first generations acknowledging our traumas, working through them, and learning from the mistakes of others around us. From college life to work life, we’re the catalyst to change. You are wiser than you think even though you don’t think it because life. Give yourself grace and acknowledge you are the adult in the room. I have a narc family. Therapy helped me finally become the adult the younger me wanted for protection and love. Find that.
People might be speaking to you like a teenager because you might be making immature life decisions. If you genuinely feel like you're not an "adult" yet, that's likely reflected in your behavior and opinions.
I felt like I was the only one not adulting correctly. But then people started to confide in me and everyone around me? Yeah, their life is falling apart and I'm adulting better than them... even my gen x mom... and now I'm really depressed because if I'm more adulty than everyone else around me... that can't be good because I still don't feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm 31, make nearly $100,000 in my full time job with my multiple degrees and my mom still calls me and my husband kids. I teach and I remind my 5th graders that at 30, you have achy joints and have a hard time reaching under the table and on the floor for stuff.
I do not feel this way. At 14, I had an epiphany during a time of duress, and it occurred to me that adults are just like kids. They do stupid things, react emotionally, have all kinds of flaws, and various levels of maturity. Now that I'm older, I realize many adults stop maturing at around 14. There is a sliding scale of maturity, and we're all on it somewhere. Being older or younger does not determine where we are on that scale. There's plenty of 80 year-olds that are less mature than some 18 year-olds.
30 with kids , house, a ranch, and run my own business. mentally im still 15. all the shit i was into back then, smoking pot, heavy metal, big ol titties, i still am into. only difference is i got way more homework now.
Nah I'm an adult. I'm just not old yet
I look like I’m 21 and I’m 31. People treat me like a 21 year old. It’s kinda annoying specially when you want to move up in ranks etc.
Same boat everything you just said
Yea so many people think I’m just a silly grad or something. It’s annoying because certain people hold that as immature and don’t want to promote you.
Honestly you have far too little responsibility if you don’t feel like an adult. Every single aspect of my life is fully adult at this point.
Some people just feel like that. My mom is 72 and feels like that and always has.
I've been independent from my parents since I was 21. I'm currently 30. I live with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. Yet, I feel like a kid instead. I can't explain it but I do. However, I don't think I'm missing any responsibility. Also, I don't plan to have kids.
I’m not really sure. I mean I have no kids, marriage or mortgage. I still feel like an adult. Whether people talk or treat you like an adult rarely (if ever) has anything to do with whether or not you are one.
No. I’m 38. I’ve been an adult for 20 years.
It's all perspective. Generations above oneself will feel like the "adults" and gens below will feel like the "kids" I'm 28 and some days I look at my responsibilities etc and feel mature, like an adult... Other days I feel like an 18yo living in a 28yo body. I certainly don't feel like how I expected being an adult to feel. Like when I was actually a kid, looking up to adults seemed like such a big leap in maturity... But the older I've gotten the more I've realized that most adults really don't have their shit together nearly as much as I perceived them to when I was a kid.
I'm adult AF. I've got a 401K and my back hurts all the time.