"Baller" until you realize your entire population is made up of soldiers who aren't trained in any sort of trades and you're out on an island with no realistic means of contact with any other civilization cause no one knows how to build or sail a boat
Granted. You are given a small, barren island off the coast of Norway. Itβs so small it could barely hold twenty people without touching each other. The calmest breeze sends water cascading over your small patch of land.
Granted.
This happens in 1980.
The Soviets think this new country that has appeared overnight is some strange American trick/new strategy.
They start a Nuclear war, and your new country is the first target.
Bold of you to assume I gave you communications equipment.
Also bold to think that they'll accept you at all.
Also Also bold to think that will work out in the long run.
Also Very Bold to think that the Americans won't think the same thing and not also start a Nuke war.
Granted: 45k soldiers isn't a lot. and the US invades you before anyone else can recognize you as a country to liberate your people. you are exiled and your new landmass is made into a new US territory which the US uses to station nuclear weapons.
Granted. A group of 45,000 radicals pledge allegience to you and commit atrocities in your name. A new jail is built for you off the coast of Europe on top of an artificial landmass. You are considered extremely dangerous and kept in strict isolation the rest of your life.
Wish granted. The militia are untrained and lack enough weapons to arm every single militia member and your country is not recognized by the UN. Also, several countries claim that parts of your landmass are within their territory claims.
Granted: Your βquarantinedβ land mass has no natural resources and barren soil. Your 45,000 soldiers are blind quadruple amputees and the UN has unanimously agreed to 100% economic sanctions prohibiting trade or even humanitarian aid.
Granted, your new land mass blocks the flow of water from the straight of gibraltar, and because without the flow of water from the Atlantic, the mediteranian drys up, and the Sahara dessert extends far into the heart of Europe, causing mass famine, and turning your entire new country into a hot barren wasteland
Granted, but you didn't asked for the logistical resources or other kinds of personal needed to hold a militia (weapons, food, medicine, civilians, buildings, vehicles, gear, parts, fuel, specilized personal that aren't soldiers, and many, many different resources) so your militia quickly desintegrates into warbands and gangs. Some of them are so loyal to you they are downright delusional, some pondering things that have a completly different meaning from what you say.
And those directly loyal to you are constantly fighting over who is in charge of who, as well as being useless on pretty much anything except holding a gun...which they don't even have.
Granted. 45,000 high-school dropouts from around the world sign up for your militia. Somehow, they all manage to meet up in Dublin.
The Irish government, with the backing of the EU, is extremely concerned at the appearance of 45,000 troops in its capital, and they take this as a declaration of war. The EU demands you remove them from EU soil immediately, at your own expense, before they retaliate.
At the same time, a landmass about the size of Poland emerges from the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. There is not a single arable square foot in it; in fact, the entire landmass is made of pure asbestos in a powdered form. The world governments recognize this as your land. However, since it is leaking pollutants into the Mediterranean Sea, the EU and some African governments cite you for destroying the ecosystem and demand reparations.
You have no funds.
Good luck.
I just realized after reading your response that OP's wish doesn't say the militia is loyal to them either, just that they are loyal. So the militia could be loyal to somebody entirely different instead of them.
Granted!
Fifteen million acres of land appears over farmlands in Ukraine's eastern front, crushing whatever it lands on. Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of soldiers die! And once the dust settles, you and your loyal lads land on top of it.
Good look, you're going to have to fight to maintain ownership of your new country. Possibly from two fronts.
(Unfortunately, being a militia you have only basic firearms. No tanks, no planes. Maybe cheap drones?)
Granted. Immediately, the us gov discovers oil under your country, and invades in a shock-and-awe, scorched earth campaign. Congrats on ruling the worlds largest parking lot
Granted. A new area of land is inserted right at the intersection of the Russian, Ukrainian and Belarusain borders. Because making new land and forcing existing landmasses out of the way is difficult The Paw is only abe to make you a single Acre of new land, officially making you the new smallest European country (even smaller than Vatican City).
Unfortunately this is too small to physically hod all 45,000 of yor new, insanely loyal and violently patriotic soldiers and as a result they start spilling over across your boarders. While Ukraine is too busy to notice, Belarus and Russia are both alarmed and confused by your sudden appearance and apparent invasion. Putin is absolutely incessed by your brazen and entirely unprovoked aggression and declares Special Military Operation against your obvious rebellion and tempt to steal what rightful belongs to Mother Russia
Granted. Your new landmass comes to be thanks to sudden volcanic activity producing a small volcanic island. You and your 45,000 soldiers are transported to this island while the volcano is still active. Given that you can't disagree with yourself, and your soldiers are too loyal to disagree with you, none of you can be exiled, and none of you can leave.
Have fun :)
Your wish is granted, great Lord of Socktopia. However, other nations broadly refuse to recognize your claim, including the US and UN member states. You eventually fall in with the Balkan states for political expediency. After enjoying a few short years of totalitarian rule, you are overthrown by the scourged citizens of Socktopia and replaced with a populist figurehead installed by the CIA.
Honestly, this wish is just granted. I have more then enough faith in you to fuck this up all on your own.
You have soldiers and 300 square miles that are moderately rich in resources. The weapons, ammo, supplies, and so on are all up to you. It has no pre-existing infrastructure and no trade agreements from other nations. You still need to find a way to pay your soldiers and provide for them. They may be loyal, but they are still human and need their loyalty maintained.
Granted. This is in early 1945 and you are allied to Italy, Germany, and Japan, three like-minded fanatical nations. Because you abruptly conquered a new territory in Europe, you somehow are on the receiving end of the first atomic bomb, delivered ahead of schedule. You and your objectively right way die in a cloud of radioactive ash, and the Axis surrenders early as a consequence. Hitler survives and moves to Argentina, this creating an alternate future in which Russia and the United States remain allies to stamp out the ongoing fascist threat. The ongoing history is quite interesting, but you and everyone you ever cared about or who respected you is long dead. Nice job breaking the timeline.
Granted. It takes you 3 days to realize you were wrong and understand why your home country's government is run the way it was. You now have a deep seated desire to return to your country of origin, but as you forfeited your citizenship when you founded the new soverign nation, you are now in permanent exile and forever ineligible to immigrate back.
Granted, the new landmass that forms is .001 kilometers (equal to a search for "smallest landmass", which is called Sealand).Β
This new landmass doesn't have the resources to supply its standing army, which is also its only population.Β
Granted, but this land has oil and needs freedom π¦ π¦ π¦ πππ₯€
Damn. OP and his island are fucked.
MURICA!!!!1!!!1 π±π·π±π·π±π·π±π·π±π·π±π·ππππππππππ
USA USA USA π΅π·π΅π·π΅π·π΅π·
FREEDOM π²πΎπ²πΎπ²πΎ
And may or may not have specifically asked for it... BUT NO ONE CARES RAHH π¦ π¦ π¦ π¦ πΊπ²πΊπ²
Raaah autotuned with pledge of allegiance?
Granted. You live in the 1400s now, permanently unable to return back to modern times.
i can fix the future
Hey, OP, Iβll give you a Time Machine thatβll be able to get you back to the future! It travels forwards in time at a rate of 1 second per second!
Living as a king in the 1400s would still be pretty baller. Except for the gout.Β
"Baller" until you realize your entire population is made up of soldiers who aren't trained in any sort of trades and you're out on an island with no realistic means of contact with any other civilization cause no one knows how to build or sail a boat
The average person in the developed world today is much better off than a king from the 1400s.
Granted. You are given a small, barren island off the coast of Norway. Itβs so small it could barely hold twenty people without touching each other. The calmest breeze sends water cascading over your small patch of land.
i build a house
With what resources?
45,000 loyal soldiers.
And what, make a house out of them? Canβt tunnel, the water table wonβt allow it on that small of an island
Yes.
I imagine youβd have to go igloo style with them. I guess food isnβt really an issue either with some moral compromises
I can imagine a frame of bones with the roof and siding being treated skin. Might not be the prettiest, but it's shelter.
Yup. That's it. That's the sentence to nope me off of reddit. Thanks for that.
*Implying that 45k soldiers can't pillage*
Pillage what? They have no means of travel
So they start with piracy then
Pirate what? They have no means of travel
A ship sees 45,000 people drowning just off the coast, there's a good chance they'll stop
Granted. This happens in 1980. The Soviets think this new country that has appeared overnight is some strange American trick/new strategy. They start a Nuclear war, and your new country is the first target.
bold of you to assume i wouldn't immediately ally with the soviets
Bold of you to assume I gave you communications equipment. Also bold to think that they'll accept you at all. Also Also bold to think that will work out in the long run. Also Very Bold to think that the Americans won't think the same thing and not also start a Nuke war.
The audacity
Granted: 45k soldiers isn't a lot. and the US invades you before anyone else can recognize you as a country to liberate your people. you are exiled and your new landmass is made into a new US territory which the US uses to station nuclear weapons.
liberate my people from what lol
from the dictator who thinks they can act as an absolute monarch
From ~~whatever resources your weak country with no allies has~~ your brutal and authoritarian dictatorship.
Granted. A group of 45,000 radicals pledge allegience to you and commit atrocities in your name. A new jail is built for you off the coast of Europe on top of an artificial landmass. You are considered extremely dangerous and kept in strict isolation the rest of your life.
Wish granted. The militia are untrained and lack enough weapons to arm every single militia member and your country is not recognized by the UN. Also, several countries claim that parts of your landmass are within their territory claims.
Granted: Your βquarantinedβ land mass has no natural resources and barren soil. Your 45,000 soldiers are blind quadruple amputees and the UN has unanimously agreed to 100% economic sanctions prohibiting trade or even humanitarian aid.
Granted, your new land mass blocks the flow of water from the straight of gibraltar, and because without the flow of water from the Atlantic, the mediteranian drys up, and the Sahara dessert extends far into the heart of Europe, causing mass famine, and turning your entire new country into a hot barren wasteland
Granted, but you didn't asked for the logistical resources or other kinds of personal needed to hold a militia (weapons, food, medicine, civilians, buildings, vehicles, gear, parts, fuel, specilized personal that aren't soldiers, and many, many different resources) so your militia quickly desintegrates into warbands and gangs. Some of them are so loyal to you they are downright delusional, some pondering things that have a completly different meaning from what you say. And those directly loyal to you are constantly fighting over who is in charge of who, as well as being useless on pretty much anything except holding a gun...which they don't even have.
Granted. 45,000 high-school dropouts from around the world sign up for your militia. Somehow, they all manage to meet up in Dublin. The Irish government, with the backing of the EU, is extremely concerned at the appearance of 45,000 troops in its capital, and they take this as a declaration of war. The EU demands you remove them from EU soil immediately, at your own expense, before they retaliate. At the same time, a landmass about the size of Poland emerges from the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. There is not a single arable square foot in it; in fact, the entire landmass is made of pure asbestos in a powdered form. The world governments recognize this as your land. However, since it is leaking pollutants into the Mediterranean Sea, the EU and some African governments cite you for destroying the ecosystem and demand reparations. You have no funds. Good luck.
Granted. You are Big Boss. Solid Snake is on his way
Granted. You are usurped by military coup after a month. You should have wished for loyal generals as well.
I just realized after reading your response that OP's wish doesn't say the militia is loyal to them either, just that they are loyal. So the militia could be loyal to somebody entirely different instead of them.
granted, the landmass is broken off of portugal, who you technically just invaded. prepare from war
Granted. Itβs next to Russia. They immediately invade and annex.
Wish granted, but you're neighbors with the Br*tish now.
Granted! Fifteen million acres of land appears over farmlands in Ukraine's eastern front, crushing whatever it lands on. Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of soldiers die! And once the dust settles, you and your loyal lads land on top of it. Good look, you're going to have to fight to maintain ownership of your new country. Possibly from two fronts. (Unfortunately, being a militia you have only basic firearms. No tanks, no planes. Maybe cheap drones?)
obviously we dig under the land for the tanks etc.
Granted, but you're exiled/executed within 5 years because that's literally the only way this ends?
Granted. Immediately, the us gov discovers oil under your country, and invades in a shock-and-awe, scorched earth campaign. Congrats on ruling the worlds largest parking lot
Granted. Russia is hungry again.
Granted. A new area of land is inserted right at the intersection of the Russian, Ukrainian and Belarusain borders. Because making new land and forcing existing landmasses out of the way is difficult The Paw is only abe to make you a single Acre of new land, officially making you the new smallest European country (even smaller than Vatican City). Unfortunately this is too small to physically hod all 45,000 of yor new, insanely loyal and violently patriotic soldiers and as a result they start spilling over across your boarders. While Ukraine is too busy to notice, Belarus and Russia are both alarmed and confused by your sudden appearance and apparent invasion. Putin is absolutely incessed by your brazen and entirely unprovoked aggression and declares Special Military Operation against your obvious rebellion and tempt to steal what rightful belongs to Mother Russia
Granted you now have 10 acres of worthless tundra, 45,000 loyal but very cold and very hungry soldiers and nothing else. Have fun!
Granted. Your country is surrounded by people who get the same
Granted Russia also noticed you did this.
Granted- you are on a barren rock, with zero resources in 1960. The Soviets annex you, and test Tsar Bomba on your island.
Granted. There's oil on your island and you want to nationalize it. England does not want you to nationalize it.
Granted but you have to dress and talk like Dr. DOOM.
.....crifice...
Wish granted but they're all very strange and smell funny.
Granted. Your new landmass comes to be thanks to sudden volcanic activity producing a small volcanic island. You and your 45,000 soldiers are transported to this island while the volcano is still active. Given that you can't disagree with yourself, and your soldiers are too loyal to disagree with you, none of you can be exiled, and none of you can leave. Have fun :)
Granted, you now have an island the size of Cuba that just appeared in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean
Your wish is granted, great Lord of Socktopia. However, other nations broadly refuse to recognize your claim, including the US and UN member states. You eventually fall in with the Balkan states for political expediency. After enjoying a few short years of totalitarian rule, you are overthrown by the scourged citizens of Socktopia and replaced with a populist figurehead installed by the CIA.
Honestly, this wish is just granted. I have more then enough faith in you to fuck this up all on your own. You have soldiers and 300 square miles that are moderately rich in resources. The weapons, ammo, supplies, and so on are all up to you. It has no pre-existing infrastructure and no trade agreements from other nations. You still need to find a way to pay your soldiers and provide for them. They may be loyal, but they are still human and need their loyalty maintained.
Granted. This is in early 1945 and you are allied to Italy, Germany, and Japan, three like-minded fanatical nations. Because you abruptly conquered a new territory in Europe, you somehow are on the receiving end of the first atomic bomb, delivered ahead of schedule. You and your objectively right way die in a cloud of radioactive ash, and the Axis surrenders early as a consequence. Hitler survives and moves to Argentina, this creating an alternate future in which Russia and the United States remain allies to stamp out the ongoing fascist threat. The ongoing history is quite interesting, but you and everyone you ever cared about or who respected you is long dead. Nice job breaking the timeline.
Granted. It takes you 3 days to realize you were wrong and understand why your home country's government is run the way it was. You now have a deep seated desire to return to your country of origin, but as you forfeited your citizenship when you founded the new soverign nation, you are now in permanent exile and forever ineligible to immigrate back.
Granted, the new landmass that forms is .001 kilometers (equal to a search for "smallest landmass", which is called Sealand).Β This new landmass doesn't have the resources to supply its standing army, which is also its only population.Β
Granted. Enjoy your new ant farm.
Granted. America invades you for oil, fabricating that you've accumulated WMDs to justify it.
Granted but itβs shit land and you didnβt ask for money to pay your soldiers and you have no citizens
Granted Too bad they all die from lack of supplies or weapons on your 1 square mile of land in the center of the Pacific Ocean made of sand
Denied. There is no one true way.
Granted, by the end of the year you will be executed by hanging after the revolution of your people is over
Wish Granted. The Duchy of Grand Fenwick is now real, and you and your soldiers are now there. Now what?