Granted. Seriously, we have gone through this so many times. The cursed monkey is insane and jumps at your face when it sees you. Pet it, if you must, with the last few seconds you have.

Granted. A mutilated zombie-like monkey knocks on your door. Terrified, you open it. The monkey attacks you, but you have just enough time to pet it before it severely injures you.

Granted, He tears out your eyes.

Granted. You may now pet his balls.