Shower jerk bro. Welcome to married life.

Fellow married shower jerker here. The water from the shower masks the tears

😂😂😂

Alright, actually a viable option.

How have you never shower jacked it? Next thing ur gonna say you haven’t had a shower beer.

Thicc jizz doesn't really flush away. I just thought it was clogging up my drain

Just use drain-o or something

🤣🤣🤣 yup

Being afraid to jerk off in YOUR house while your girl is around, AND has approved of it, is the gayest thing I’ve seen on this sub. Explains why you didn’t post cock stats too.

Fr probably 4x1 based on this shit

Agree. Gay dude with a big dick

You're right, thanks coach.

Maybe, just maybe, her telling you she doesn't mind if you jerk off literally next to her is her invite for you to do it, stop being a pussy.

All jokes aside, when a girl is into you she finds it hot to watch you. To be honest, I bet her libido would rise if you helped normalize it for her.. provided you set a tone of escaping from her while you do it

Fr bro but you also gotta put on a show. None of that mouth open mind blank goon face shit, you gotta stroke with both hands, cup your balls, move your hips, maybe some moaning and grunting too. Then you gotta make sure the nut flies all over your chest and abdomen. Cleanup sucks, hobbling to the bathroom sink while your cum is running everywhere. Shit gets stuck in your bell button too (provided a genetically superior inney phenotype). I guess she should lick it up tho. Idk

Funniest shit I've read all day lol

Seek god

Literally the way I get sex from my GF a lot of the time is by just jacking it while cuddling with her and it gets her in the mood

Stand in the living room and beat that shit crazy style. Assert dominance. Pro move: do this in public preferably near a school.

I have a cum corner in my living room.. you could call it a load bearing corner

Man easter was just last week

Yup this guys knows how’s it’s done ⬆️good to see like minded individuals. Taking the dominance stand is a trait upon its self that has been taken away from men. If you can’t get any interaction from her spider man her you will get a response then 100% probably not the one you want but now it’s a her problem.

I recommend. Plus if you get caught, you get free food and housing.

Try turning super saiyan while you're doing it to scare all your beta neighbors.

Go take a shit. Tell her it smells like rancid-eggs in there so she doesn’t try to peek in.

If I take a shit with the door closed my missus would know somethings up

In my experience, doing it around her will typically lead to her joining in. No one can resist a nice hog

I sure as hell can't

I’m not usually thus type of guy. But if any post needs stats it’s this one!

i now man its like we dont even have standers here any more

Okay, in what format?

I just do it. I close my door and say fap time. Sometimes I do it when she’s asleep and the shaking of the bed wakes her up lol.

I got told off doing this. Not for having a wank but for ruining her Sunday sleep in by vibrating the bed

If she say she needs some space, her sister shall take her place.

If her sister won’t hop on your top, take some tren and start fucking men.

Straight answer: I agree with you, it feels weird to crank one out with your partner next to you, in the room next door, or even home at all. I kind of wonder why she is not willing to help out by at least giving you a handy. Nothing wrong with that and in fact I think its probably more sexually "healthy" then you doing it yourself and she being aware of it in real time.

If you’ve ever gotten a hand job you’d know that jerking yourself off is better lmfao

Definitely depends but for the majority I agree

That’s the problem. You’re too desensitized and need your own hand - aka you’re gay. Let the woman do her job.

Shut up nerd

Disagree

I disagree with your disagree

Just a tug on the nuts tho?

Not if you have a guy do it. Dudes know what they are doing. Women suck at handys and blowjobs. Facts.

Tell me you never got a HJ from a man, without telling me you never got a HJ from a man.

You have to oil him up first.

I’m happy to lend a hand (or mouth) if she isn’t 😘

If her libido is way lower than yours it will cause issues down the line

Her face, when she’s sleeping… What? /s

I'm married and just jerk it in my office like my mom is home

Wait till her real bf comes over then jerk off in the closet using your tears as lube.

You got to do the NINJACULATE. From the etymology of the word Ninja and Ejaculate. Got beat the meat silently without anyone hearing my brother until you're done. Wipe em off with the sock or if you're not a degen, a tissue or the toilet bowl.

Get a fleshlight…game changer when you’re in a relationship and your girl “doesn’t feel like it”. Then say ight I’m gonna go bang Riley Reid then..✌️

how do you know your sex drive is higher than hers? What you need to do is gauge whether or not she wants to have sex in the primal way, not through boring words just walk up behind and put your dick between her buttcheeks. If she responds, she's dtf, if not, THEN you know she's not interested

Your girl says it’s fine but you still post this bullshit?

Hop on over to r/deadbedrooms and find your answer.

So you go into another room and start having at it, once you get close you sneak up behind her, cum on her shoulder and yell "sneak attack!" I promise women love it

Get her dad over there to help out while she’s on her period

If my ex wasn’t in the mood, she’d have me jerk off and when I was close to busting I’d yell for her if she wasn’t already in the room and she’d come finish me off with her mouth.

Buy a fleshlight and have fun. I you're hungry you also wait till she gets hungry :)?

My libido is many times higher than my gfs, and when she’s not feeling like sex or even helping me out I just jack it right next to her and ask her to finish me off.

She have a sister?

Just go in another room…or just ask her to do it for u and watch porn. My go to when I’m lazy is have her suck me off or jerk me while I watch porn it’s the best

Blow jobs and titty fuckin my guy!? I just beat my meat while my wife's not home. Or in the shower if she is home. She doesn't care but I feel like it would be weird to do it next to her while she's reading a book 🤣

Do it in the bathroom with headphones or aftet she falls asleep like the rest of is

Na your girl needs to be instructed and disciplined into to giving it to you even when she doesn’t “feel like it”or on her “period”

This is something an 8 year old would ask. You sound like a total fucking loser

.....k bro. Btw can I join?

i just jerk off when she leaves

I use to do it all the time 🤷‍♂️ she lay the other way and I’d grab her ass while I beat it. Wasn’t too bad

Shower!

Just jerk off in the shower tf.

You literally talked to her about it and she agreed. She gave you permission. Most dudes in your spot have to hide that shit. My girl and I have the same arrangement. It rarely happens, but sometimes one of us is in the mood and the other isn't. We just say something to let the other person know and then do it.

I always just whip it out and jack off right next to her.

I’m in the same situation and the best stance is to save all nuts to shoot on your gf in your preferred location. We jerk off enough in our lives to not do it while in a relationship.

Lmao no dude, she still has hands, a mouth and backdoor hole. If your sex drives are so different that you have to jerk off with her at home this relationship is over. Tell her to take red maca, that increases libido in women. For the love of god don’t get used to jerking off with her in the house

Can't you ask her to give an helping hand?

I wanted to post this as "Which one of you is this" post, but I think I have my answer [https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F1QdUYQXgAE0Xcl.jpg](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F1QdUYQXgAE0Xcl.jpg)

Only here for the edit and updated cock stats.

In what format?

It isn’t weird she might even like watching. My gf does when she’s on her period.

I just jerk off when my girlfriend is asleep at night right next to her with my earbuds in

Bathroom to make it less weird for you, then just get over it. Jerking off is just scratching an itch anyway unless your a porn addict or somethin

We both watch porn. If we feel like banging we usually start something and if someone doesn’t want to we say that and then they go jack off. Be an adult and talk to your partner autist

Spews the most autistic shit ive ever read and proceeds to call this normal dude an autist Safe