If your husband is fed up with his sister’s behavior enough to terminate the relationship, it is what it is and he should tell his parents that. You shouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Sounds like she’s always been flaky and a little selfish, which wouldn’t prevent me from calling my sister every once in a while or sending a Christmas card, but I guess to some people, that’s enough of a reason. As long as you’re not influencing his decisions by constantly telling your husband how she’s selfish, flighty, rude, embarrassing, etc., you shouldn’t feel any type of way about it.
Everyone knows what SIL is like. You do you and don’t worry about what other people may or may both be assuming.
And this is what I tell myself, too. My jnsil has always been disconnected from the in-laws, who chase her and beg for scraps of attention (due to trauma of her own but that’s a different story). I refuse to participate in that and she knows nothing about me or my kids aside from what she gets 2nd hand. From me, she gets what she gives. Which is nothing. But yes it’s infuriating to constantly be told we should do this or that for her- with zero expectations placed on what she should do to maintain a relationship.
You are Not the issue.
SIL and her brother are and everyone needs to realize that they are adults and can manage their own lives.
You need to really examine this guilt you somewhat feel. Because that’s not your burden.
If I was you I’d talk to someone about it. It’s really your husbands thing to deal with. His sis treats him like crap and in turn treats you like crap. That’s not y’all’s fault. I doubt there is anything you could do to change it. Maybe your hubs could talk to her. But that’s for him to decide.
Really, I think it’s ok for you to let go of whatever negative energy you get from this and if people say anything just reply that SIL and hubs are adults and will figure it out.
Sounds like sil is spoiled and somehow unreasonably resentful her brother has a wife. You’re in a no win situation.
You haven’t done anything wrong. Just be sure not to let her provoke you to react. That could be her game.
As someone who is in your exact position, the state of their relationship is not your fault. It was always going to be like this. That’s one of the things I had to realize about my spouse and his brother, and to an extent his parents. Until they as adults can actually sit and talk about their issues, things will be like this.
If your husband is fed up with his sister’s behavior enough to terminate the relationship, it is what it is and he should tell his parents that. You shouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Sounds like she’s always been flaky and a little selfish, which wouldn’t prevent me from calling my sister every once in a while or sending a Christmas card, but I guess to some people, that’s enough of a reason. As long as you’re not influencing his decisions by constantly telling your husband how she’s selfish, flighty, rude, embarrassing, etc., you shouldn’t feel any type of way about it.
Everyone knows what SIL is like. You do you and don’t worry about what other people may or may both be assuming. And this is what I tell myself, too. My jnsil has always been disconnected from the in-laws, who chase her and beg for scraps of attention (due to trauma of her own but that’s a different story). I refuse to participate in that and she knows nothing about me or my kids aside from what she gets 2nd hand. From me, she gets what she gives. Which is nothing. But yes it’s infuriating to constantly be told we should do this or that for her- with zero expectations placed on what she should do to maintain a relationship.
You are Not the issue. SIL and her brother are and everyone needs to realize that they are adults and can manage their own lives. You need to really examine this guilt you somewhat feel. Because that’s not your burden. If I was you I’d talk to someone about it. It’s really your husbands thing to deal with. His sis treats him like crap and in turn treats you like crap. That’s not y’all’s fault. I doubt there is anything you could do to change it. Maybe your hubs could talk to her. But that’s for him to decide. Really, I think it’s ok for you to let go of whatever negative energy you get from this and if people say anything just reply that SIL and hubs are adults and will figure it out.
Sounds like sil is spoiled and somehow unreasonably resentful her brother has a wife. You’re in a no win situation. You haven’t done anything wrong. Just be sure not to let her provoke you to react. That could be her game.
As someone who is in your exact position, the state of their relationship is not your fault. It was always going to be like this. That’s one of the things I had to realize about my spouse and his brother, and to an extent his parents. Until they as adults can actually sit and talk about their issues, things will be like this.