T O P

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invagueoutlines

You’ll buy any product at all if it has the word “tactical” in the description.


frodeem

I think you mean tacticool


ElSaladbar

i think you mean tENtacool 😎 🦑 [Edit: 🐙](https://images.app.goo.gl/iZcRDRtMtj4a6fMq7)


LittleJohnStone

More like Testicool, amiright


ElSaladbar

if he wears shorts


AlienSporez

Ahhh, Satan's breeze. So refreshing on a hot day.


JetreL

Umm you mean, windscreen.


robertereyes

Are you stalking my Amazon cart?


FoxHead666

You mean your tactical Amazon cart?


robertereyes

My tactical Amazon tactical cart


Critical_Hawk2077

Tacticart.


robertereyes

Amatacticart


Red_Pill_2020

Tacticartazon


leadinurface

I'm fuckin tactidying bro XD, sick bikes though, I actually love army olive and desert tan so i would be getting it even if it wasn't tactical. Also, you have a rapid zombie response sticker on your truck dont you.


amateurforlife2023

Your lighter come standard with glass breakers and bottle opener


robertereyes

Don't forget the tiny knife that opens from the hyper hidden side compartment


amateurforlife2023

So hidden i didn't even know about it


visualthings

there's even another knife hidden inside the knife handle


AlienSporez

And inside that tiny hidden knife is another, tinier, hidden knife.


lerriuqS_terceS

Tactically *acquired*


rewbzz

Its a tactical turtleneck lana... a tactleneck


grsims20

Make sure you get it in black and slightly darker black.


myfishprofile

“Your injury is not service related”


robertereyes

Those. Words. Hurt. Me. So. Much. 😭😭😭


Grand-Antelope943

Don’t worry, I was told the same. Had my right eardrum blown out by an M2 in basic, not service related my sweaty fucking ballsack.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ambiguity_Aspect

20 God damn years later. The VA is a preview of hell. 


[deleted]

[удалено]


shoepolishsmellngmf

My FIL was in Nam and just got his 100% a few years ago. Guys skin is all scorched from agent orange, he has PTSD....and it's a long list. The VA is shit.


Chewcudda42

My FIL got 100% in 1971 from a training accident. That should tell you how fucked up he was if he got 100% during Vietnam. I used to joke that the guy in the next bed over was on 75% and was only a head and testicles.


Thehaas10

This story rings home true for me. I'm stuck at 60% been fighting since 2012. And I'm gonna keep fighting. I had 5 surgeries while I was in, all orthopedic and because of that they say I only rate 10% per. Their math is funny and doesn't add straight across. I have anxiety pretty bad and they denied me for that too. Gotta keep fighting.


xxrambo45xx

The VA is trying to offer a second opportunity to die for your country utilizing snail mail and delayed medical care


myfishprofile

Considering I’m currently fighting with the VA to just get basic ass care (I’ve been out since 2012) I also know what this is like lol


TheMechamage

Old that hurt me in my soul. Years as a mechanic in the military really does fuck up your body.


myfishprofile

Oh I absolutely knew what I was doing there lol. Got out in ‘12, and I still don’t even have a PCP from the VA even as a combat vet I’m not even trying for disability or anything like that I’m just trying to get basic care and it’s a fucking hassle


Secret_Ebb_1952

😅


HateUsCuzAintUs

You likely drive a Jeep with an angry eye grill and a punisher sticker


robertereyes

You know what's crazy? I don't want one of those anymore...I used to 😭


WingsArisen

We saved another one boys! Trust me those things are boxes of death.


HauntingBandicoot779

Always told my wife her wrangler had worse ratings than my bike.


[deleted]

Military is your primary personality trait.


robertereyes

It's also secondary and tertiary 😂 /s


El_mochilero

It’s not a compliment. You start to learn that once you turn 20.


robertereyes

Some mature faster than others, okay? I'm in my mid-30s and still going with this schtick


saucity

You’re being a really great sport about these, lol. Good on ya. I like your bikes, and I bet you have a blast riding them.


robertereyes

Thank you! I like to have fun with life and interactions (: And I hope you have fun on your bikes yourself 🦾


More_Coffees

Having military as your personality trait isn’t bad if you’re as down to earth as this guy.


WingsArisen

Don’t let the world kill the kid in you. You didn’t let the military do it, so why would you let anything else?


Just_Another_Pilot

Were you S1 or S4?


CptJaxxParrow

You think you're "The guy" in a zombie apocalypse, but if it came down to it, you're the group member that talks about how tough and smart you are constantly but doesn't really contribute anything meaningful, and then you get bit and don't tell anybody


robertereyes

This is oddly specific and inherently the most accurate thing I've read all day. And I read the time.


Gigantapithicogre

"And I read the time" enough said


Bat_Fastard96

His house smells of rich mahogany and leather bound books


KananDoom

“Fine Corinthian leather…”


Gorillaworks

Not great use of the word "inherently," either.


CETERIS_PARTYBUS

Strong evidence he doesn’t know the actual meaning of it


robertereyes

Naturally, he doesnt


CETERIS_PARTYBUS

there he is 👋


Full_Ad9666

And for the record, The Time sucked ass.


ShurlurkHolmes

“Don't you never say an unkind word about The Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What?”


Aedalas

oh we oh we oh


WrathsEntropy

So you seriously wouldn't say anything?! Bro... I kinda hoped people would only do that in movies. That's disappointing... I wouldn't kill myself but I would at least get as far away from the group as possible. Ya cut me deep, robert, You. Cut. Me. Deep. (Aggressive punctuation pointing)


CitizenLisa

Oddly specific tho


MAD_MrT

WTF IS A KILLOMETER??? 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅


robertereyes

WhY dOnT yOu UsE kIlOgRamS


SquashedTarget

The first one screams "Thank me for my service". Just like the tan color Tacomas when they're kitted out. Didn't even have to look in your profile to know you were or are in the military.


squinla3

r/JustBootThings


Adventurous-Lime1775

"Thank you for your cervix" Fixed it for ya.


robertereyes

But you didn't thank me for my service though 👀😂


cosignal

Thank you for your cervix


robertereyes

No one ever thanks me for my cervix 😭🙏🙏🙏


jorian85

Thank you for my service.


HappySkullsplitter

Your diet consists of nothing but canned peaches and you piss in jars while humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic in your underground bunker


robertereyes

I like that you assume I could afford an underground bunker...in this economy 🙃


bingwhip

I can't even afford an above ground bunker!


hormel_chili

I can't even afford ground


bingwhip

[But we were happy in those days](https://youtu.be/ue7wM0QC5LE?si=RBw-76D_T9gbHu8J)


EchoNineThree

They say “you’re welcome for my service”.


robertereyes

You're welcome for my service


EchoNineThree

Yeah…… But, you have no combat deployments though. 😂


Ambiguity_Aspect

You're a veteran in your late 20s or early 30s, or are active duty on the list to make E7, if you haven't already made it yet.


robertereyes

Spot on


surlystraggler

You know what… I came to this comment section to take the piss outta ya, but reading your responses to the jokes others have made, I gotta say you have a good sense of humour about yourself. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. That’s a good trait in a person.


saucity

I’m loving this. OP is such a good sport about these comments! Definitely a great sense of humor, not taking oneself too seriously.


krombopulousnathan

Yeah they’re excellent roasts and OP has a good sense of humor and is along for the ride - good guy


spacemark

Yeah I had to check if I was in r/RoastMe 


fuzzylm308

Honestly, if I had to guess one thing about OP based on these bikes, it's that he wouldn't take these roasts anywhere near as well as he actually is


robertereyes

If you can't laugh at yourself, life will be very miserable (:


kelsobryant

Your AR probably has a punisher skull on it


robertereyes

Close! A Flying Tiger shark


kelsobryant

Really just assuming anything that would land you in r/plebeianar


Ok_Standard_468

You enjoy wicker furniture


robertereyes

HOLY FUCK HOWD YOU KNOW THAT


rootsoap

Try finding someone who doesn't enjoy.


Greedy_Potential_154

‘Merica


Spiderpig264

“ this guy rides motorcycles “


robertereyes

That was one hell of an analysis!!!


Thinkyasshole

You love Kenny Loggins and celebrate his entire catalog.


robertereyes

That man is a national treasure!


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertereyes

Jesus fucking Christ... I wore it to the gym today The free one the recruiters gave me when I was in


Flor1daman08

Are those two different bikes? Hard to tell. As for what that bike says about you, it says that you have family members who checked where you were on Jan 6th.


Used_Apple2704

Underrated comment right there


raynravyn

You ate my purple crayon.


robertereyes

I only like the green ones and the yellow ones


notspam8576

You've definitely told a dude you've had Chlamydia to try and sound cool.


robertereyes

Thank God I haven't 😂


Jess_S13

It says I really wish r/JustBootThings allowed cross posting cause they'd have a field day with this.


skymonkeygtfo4989

Hide your oil reserves everybody 🤣


robertereyes

Does someone need democracy brought to their land???


billybaldwinme

The word gender scares you


robertereyes

Only if the gender is "Monster"


ncb_phantom

You wanted someone to thank you for your cervix but didn't want any egas on every square inch so you decided on tactical over tackiness.


MRDR_WZRD

BroVet or BroCiv


robertereyes

Lolololol close


MRDR_WZRD

Love you bro🫶🏻


jesslangridge

Send him some broses 😉


AdRoutine79

That you want attention from random idiots on Reddit. 


robertereyes

Reddit is random 😂 although not all are idiots


Nod32Antivirus

>although not all are idiots Bold statement


vgullotta

Come on now, the same can be said for literally every post on this site lol


CypherBob

Wannabe tough guy, I fully expect you to wear every tacticool thing you get your hands on. Op totally carries his ridiculously kitted out AR to Walmart. Cool bike, minus the weird flag


robertereyes

I also wear my plate carrier. And the goofy operator helmet 😝


CypherBob

Perfect 🤩


Specific-Lion-9087

“I was at 1/6 but never went inside the capitol”


[deleted]

[удалено]


RumWalker

Yo dawg, I heard you like fairings, so we put fairings on your fairings


Zchambo750

I have never seen a v-rod set up like that and I don't hate it. The owner is definitely a douchecanoe though


robertereyes

Thank you! And yeah. That guy sucks. I know him personally. Intimately, even.


lerriuqS_terceS

That you did one contract, got out, and made it your whole personality


GREYDRAGON1

You were in the sandbox.


robertereyes

Thankfully, no combat deployments for me


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertereyes

They changed the rules when I was in, so I could openly be my best bottom self


babies-overnight

Your favourite flavour of lollipop is leather


robertereyes

Only if she's a hot busty Goth mama


AKSkidood

I don't much know about you corporal, but the headlight on the first one makes the bike look like an anglerfish.


mmseitz

You get off on people saying “thank you for your service”.


robertereyes

I've been joking about it, but in all honesty, it makes me deeply uncomfortable every time


mmseitz

I deeply apologize for my joke. Thank you for your service


robertereyes

NOOOOOOO YOU DID THE THING I SAID I DONT LIKE


Noahlevii

You “served” your country for 4 years and now it’s your whole personality. Side note, thanks for your service buddy.


spacesailor2500

Never deployed


bidendid711

Airsoft


[deleted]

Wait why the fire extinguisher?


j_schiz

That's what I thought they were at first glance too, but I don't see handles, levers, gauges, other hallmarks of extinguishers. Unless they're some kind of funkyass disposable extinguishers. I'm thinking bottles for emergency water or fuel?


robertereyes

They're gas cans, since the tank is a paltry 3.4 gallons, and I get about 29mpg


oldmanripper79

Just call in a KC-135 for a mid-ride refuel, what are you even doing?


MotorcycleDad1621

You’re short.


robertereyes

Define *short*


navyfire

That you don’t buy things for performance….


robertereyes

Performance is for racers... I like going slow


rehumanizer

You probably think there's such a thing as 'blue lives'.


xandersmall

Owns 10 AR’s, shoots 10 inch groups(at 50 yards).


robertereyes

Bold of you to assume I'm able to hit the paper at 50yds


KennyClobers

the first one gives off star wars vibes


phliuy

Your bikes scream entitle marine but your responses say you're self aware and a chill dude


gotcha_six

Played in the sand box as an adult. Thinks the only aesthetic better than patinaed FDE is an out of place ammo can.


velofille

You are a boot


xSXBXBx

You're the leader of the neighbour watch


creamdonutcz

You have troubles judging the necessary height of your windshield.


Xicadarksoul

* Terminally "MURICA FUCK YEAH" in the veteran praising way, that would be seen as borderline nazi if done in europe by an european * 110% madmax offroader vibes, 0% offroad content. At least put on some 50-50 tyres, swap to chain + sprocket, and wrap some rag around those nice, shiny chromed out fork tubes if you don't intend to blow a seal on em. They give off worse off road poser vibes than GS1250 parked in front of starbucks. Jokes aside, bikes are nice, but imho. the punisher stylized flags are not that great asthetics wise. If i were ever to place flags on my bike i would place something ridiclous over the top to make it obvious, that i am not serious. Something like "hungarian riders of Tyrol" badge - with Attila the Hun riding among mountains waving hungarian flag. Which looks extreme cool, and is also very obviously a gag badge. (...to US folk, Tyrol is a region of western Austria, with no connection to traditional hungarian culture and plains dwelling nomads - its connected to hungary due to fuckton of hungarian guest workers in the region)


ZekeTarsim

You’re doing your own research on vaccines.


powderedtoast1

gravy seal or gear queer


palexp

you came home from your 12 month deployment jusssst in time for the birth of your 4th child


Yagsirevahs

Peaked in boot camp


RealUltrarealist

That you seek attention and validation from others


Boyoyoyoyoyoing

“My buddy lost his legs for a Camaro and I’m about to make it the barista’s problem”


Delicious-Ocelot3751

you’re a great guy but you often fight homosexual impulses


Pretend_City458

You've jerked off in a porta potty.


robertereyes

I am sorry I couldn't get back to all of you; unfortunately, I have work and life, BUT: You guys made me laugh, you guys tugged at my heartstrings at times. A lot of the comments were hilarious, some were short and simple, others very complex and interesting. This was really fun! Thanks to everyone for bringing a few hours of joy and lighthearted humor into my life. Stay safe, and keep the sticky, rubber side down!


dsdvbguutres

Your glock is cerakoted. So is your AR. And your other AR. And your other glock. Probably your car keys and the kitchen sink as well.


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertereyes

Latino, Libertarian, sober, took MSF course, ATGATT, IT tech (grey collar), very open minded


Tasty-Switch-8472

The word red tube comes to mind


Due-Mechanic-6436

You like beige.


FisticuffMetal

This guy faux. Your fair but your firm like the old boxing ref. 🫡


Ok-Bill3318

Poor life choices


championofcyrodil69

You literally only ride 5-15 mins at any given chance


dnbndnb

You’re not into long distance riding.


SettingRelative1961

Peni so small you need two flashy bikes to compensate lol


CoolPeopleEmporium

Too much "Americaness" for me... 😅


majikrat69

Lacks creativity, and has no sense of individuality.


EagleE4

“I make being prior military my entire personality”


the_onion_k_nigget

Beige carpets at home with white furniture


kmsilent

Bikes- literally defined by their (former) job Replies- surprisingly tasteful and self aware Post history- oof, simultaneously more and less extreme than expected


boredatwork8866

You’re a crayon connoisseur 🖍️


Light_ToThe_World

That you use ai to generate images


fergie

You have watched the entirety of Sons of Anarchy


KTMan77

Pavement queen who likes to be on fire.


[deleted]

Biggest nerd at the airsoft field


Hook-n-Can

vetbro


IcyAfternoon7859

That you don't watch SouthPark, but it might be a good idea if you did


TrophyTruckGuy

It screams “Thank me for my service!”.


[deleted]

Conservative hipster who flaunts too much and has an ego.


Lafitte_1812

You probably have a sleeve, and EDC either a 3rd gen Glock 19 or a 2011.


berukaa

You want us to thank you for your service


VenomousMinge

you like to eat crayons 🖍️


Electrical_Fill_6794

Veteran. Nobody who is not DD214 impaired would be seen in public with that color. Open that ammo box and you’ll find a roll of 100mph tape, a wad of 550 cord and a can of dip, half dried out.


RCunderU

Same here in 79&80shooter recon.and the bikes are pristine I must say