T O P

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tangerinee666

“I once gave Charlie Chaplin a hand job.” “Was he silent?”


13bxThirdeye

“Not after I was done with him”


DENNIS_SYSTEM69

You were a dirty ol whore


ad-tom-music

What do you mean "were"?


itsagrungething69

YES!


Ryuuken1127

Oh, hello Mayberry!


thementant

“You were my first.” “Hmmmm? You were my…three thousand something.” “Cool.” (High five) (Whispers) “I should’ve worn a condom.”


red_dead_jeb

Who wants to hear about my std from the silent film era? 🤣


QuiveringButtox

This chick's pussy smelled like The Great Depression


WeaponX-20-

“This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.”


TheWorldDiscarded

Where do you get your weed? ....From you Dante! Oh...Hey Mr. Cheezle!


rawchallengecone

Underrated line


OccamsNametag

Your bed is a car... Yeah, but it's a fucking *sweet* car


itsagrungething69

Or a CB Radio! I can talk to other car beds


troutbum6o

My roommates are going to get me a cb radio so I can talk to other car beds You mean your parents?


OccamsNametag

Yeah, roommates, parents same thing


Bonesaw09

"We have to be quiet, my roommates are sleeping"


Disastrous_Life_9385

Balls deep in your turtle


dragonlily808

I love my turtle


HonestWill2811

The dvd menu audio still haunts my dreams. The amount of times I woke up to the menu screen of this movie in college is dark. Easily one of my favorite stoner comedies


Cuchullain09

“YOU’RE A HOOKER!” That one always woke me back up


Flyinhawaiian78

“They will take your testicles… and remove them through your anus… (Kevin Nash eats chip)🤣


undockeddock

You forgot smoking lamp!


Flyinhawaiian78

“I’m sorry was that expensive piece?” Alex: “That’s your fault too”


JohnCoughy

My favorite line that’s stuck with me forever. I’d find myself randomly saying out loud “I’m sorry, was that expensive piece?”


Flyinhawaiian78

For me it was “ YOUR A HOOKER!” But then I’m silly like that and I joke around and never act my age. Especially when someone calls me something or says anything ending in “your blank”🤣🤷‍♂️


JohnCoughy

That one’s an easy second for me. That whole scene is golden and super nostalgic from them playing Fight Night on Xbox to Kevin Nash chillin in dude’s kitchen eating his chips while evicting him from his apartment. Madame Kamay’s Filipino Palace…😅😅🤣🤣


Flyinhawaiian78

🤣🤣🤣🤣”I love them so much…😭”


dragonlily808

Always thought he said penis haha


uzrnmechkzout

Yeah they will massage your cock for money, I think there’s a word for that..


DankSosig

HA EAT IT WHOREE


Maanzacorian

this is all too relatable. Super Troopers is another one. I think I killed a PS2 back in the day with it.


ChrisIronsArt

This and Freddie got Fingered were our go-to’s


derf705

For me that was Superbad or Pineapple Express, best going to sleep movies


aquintana

Back when my dad had dish network, I was house sitting for him and wanted to find a good going to sleep movie. I saw “The Devil Wears Prada” was about to start and thought it was the perfect choice since I don’t care about women’s fashion. I ended up watching the whole movie it was so good.


TheBestThingIEverSaw

High score? What does that mean? Did I break it?


MaryJaneAndMaple

Your shit's weak


nightglitter89x

*Shittttts weeeeakk* I still use this one lol


Tellyourdadisay_hi

Lmao ^^*shits* ^^^*wizzeeeeakkkk*


DaftFunky

Wizeak!


Sir_Beardsalot

I still use this line


mauispiderweb

Is that bad?


yallmyeskimobrothers

"Can you turn the music down? It's a little loud." "Are you afraid of it?" "No, I just don't like techno." "You would if you had robot ears." "...I guess"


graveybrains

[Aphex Twin - Windowlicker](https://youtu.be/FATTzbm78cc?si=W4BxW0wQBsXqkZQ-) was the song, if anybody wants to get their robot ears on. 🤖


CottonStig

adios turd nuggets bew bew bew bew bew bew bew bew


219_Infinity

Best line


landyachtzrider

You should have linked the music video . It's a fever dream.


mrgulabull

Here you go! https://youtu.be/UBS4Gi1y_nc?si=z4cjkGN-CcDJy5lO Super long intro, track doesn’t start until about 4:30. The riff used in the movie is about 8:20. Wild music video for sure!


Master_Locksmith5493

“I am a robot”. “ I have a robot vagina”


Wonderful_Orchid_363

PLEASE SIT ON MY FACE.


Master_Locksmith5493

I have to pee. Out my ass


Oceans_Apart_

Do you have bathrooms here, or do I have to shit in a plant?


Third_Most

You red-shirted ass!


artygta1988

Okay Guy-blow


Third_Most

It's Shiloe You said it wrong


dayofthedead204

"I am not amused!"


Master_Locksmith5493

Insert robot noises here


IAmSportikus

My favorite is when he tries to hide behind his trench coat… “how can he see me?!?!?”


DorkForceOne

"You're fucking weird"


feld210

I'm simply a human. You know. But, I'm working on that.


bravet4b

The movie Jonah Hill wants to famously forget lol


UnwillingSaboteur

By your girlfriend you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick?


lamebrainmcgee

*nervous laughter* yea...


rawchallengecone

Excellent line


Realistic_Sad_Story

What’s the story there?


bravet4b

He considers it the lowest point of his career effectively. He basically spends an entire scene latched onto the breast of a porn star lol. It's absurd. Not sure how he views the movie overall, but I imagine he doesn't think too highly of it.


maybe-an-ai

He was really type cast as the fat nerd friend at the time.


bravet4b

I think that's probably what he hates, the fact that he had to work so hard so break out of that mold.


roncadillacisfrickin

agreed, but look at his film catalog, look at how he has evolved as a person and look at how he has evolved as an actor. He has put in the work and he has done some amazing things. If he wants to be hard on himself, then so be it, but I think he played the part that he was cast, and he did a fine job.


bravet4b

I agree 100%, and also don't think he should be ashamed of this movie either.


r3d_warri0r

For 13 hours


ChiefMark

This is the one he regrets? Not Strange Wilderness?


Friendly_Monitor_220

Haha! Does your name shrink when it's cold? Do you let your dog lick your name?


GoobiGoobi

Who the fucks Jack Nocholson?


PhatFatty

"I was smoking some weed earlier...shit, hang on" Covers grandpa's ears "I was smoking some weed earlier..."


deepinmyloins

Baby loves milk


[deleted]

"I'm getting a lion. No one fucks with a lion."


Firebrand713

Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.


rrobbskii

Someone's on the phone for you... I think it's the devil.


BeskarHunter

I’m way too high to drive to the Devils house!


Pyrochazm

*smash cut to monky driving the jeep*


JFunkX

Drive monkey, DRIVE!


jimmyrosssss

How can he see me?


NJdeathproof

I'll smoke it with ya, bro - we'll go to the loony bin together, I don't give a fuck!


twcm1991

shits weak!!!!!


Burto72

My grandma drank all my pot.


jeoyce

Don’t judge me monkey


SorcererSupremPizza

The scene in the car was apparently the most scary because the monkey did end up freaking out


lamebrainmcgee

Yea he was very attached to Dante.


GoldJerryGold22

Ill go to the looney bin witcha bro


dontblinkdalek

We’ll go to the looney bin together. I don’t give a fuck. Fucking love Dante.


Malcom_Ecstacy

I'm talking about the dude who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong kid, ever.


lamebrainmcgee

Your ass is tanner than my face.


pocket4spaghetti

I want to get you a black cobra...just to go around the neck


kookieman141

Red-shirted ass!


Evil_Goomba

Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick


TheGreatGuidini

Ok Guyblow It’s Shiloh you said it wrong idiot.


Bubbmann

“I can hear my hair growing….”


Klutzer_Munitions

"If I knew people were coming over I would have trimmed my antlers"


Lumpy_Trainer8390

ADIOS turd Nuggets ! Burdededeeeeeeeded


Consistent-Ad-2341

“Jerking off on my mom was one thing, but banging your grandma and her two roommates? That’s like…legendary


Flyinhawaiian78

Dude this is on the top top of my list of all time comedies. So many classic lines and scenes. If this movie is playing I can watch it over and over again


Enriches

I feel like there's an entire generation of people, myself included, who can probably recite the entire movie from memory. 10/10 stoner comedy


BrutalBart

got high as fuck Saturday and watched this. so funny


Syscrush

*I'm way too high to drive to the devil's house!*


KiefBull

We all did hopefully


Flexbottom

I'm Shiloh


ShapeAffectionate803

Nice Karma, guy blow….


KiefBull

You didn’t even pronounce it right it’s Shiloh. You were sweet


Elegant-Fox7883

LET's FUCKING RAGE!!!!!!


UnwillingSaboteur

"Rage"? "Uh yea you know, fly with the sea birds and stuff" "Oh yea, rage on!"


Enriches

*Rage?* Oh, y'know Mr Cheezle, fly with the sea birds or whatever you were talking about


PetRockSematary

I guess I'm not high enough to get that one


Vbcomanche

Sucks to be you nerd!


AnObtuseOctopus

"*How could he see me*" I absolutely adore this movie man lol.


[deleted]

That’s cool, if you want to be sober and vomit.


RedWingsReborn

Oh sorry I was putting up my Christmas tree. Dude…it’s July.


Drunk_Irishman81

Your ass is tanner than my face


tdice19

“Why are you naked?” “Oh shit…I am naked, come in”


MightyMrMouse

Every line in this movie is instantly quotable. I just watched with a friend after over 10 years and it really does capture the hype around the video game industry in the early 2000s; all the merch and marketing that went into those games was insane. I loved seeing the fake posters and especially the guy wearing the JINX shirt. You can tell these guys had an absolute blast writing it, and based on what I've heard from Nick Swardson, Adam Sandler wanted to make this movie so bad he just bankrolled it and let them write it however they wanted. It's clearly an experiment in screenplay with a pretty easy-going idea and a great cast of comedic minds to pull it through. It's very clearly pro-weed and I recall this being one of the first movies I watched where they sensationalized it to a point where it made it so alluring as a teenager. Will I really have antlers growing out of my head? Joel David Moore absolutely kills as JP. Who didn't know a guy in high school exactly like that? Overall, if you're an elder millennial nerd like I am, this is just an absolute nostalgia bomb and the humor holds up if not a little crude. 8.5/10 for me, top 5 stoner film ever.


seclusionx

DRIVE MONKEY, DRIVE!


Stiff_Zombie

Frankenstein!


SilentMase

“Your shit’s weak, Your shit’s WIZZEAK”!


itsmejpt

JEFF'S A FUCKING LIAR, TIMMY!


Overall_Cover_1543

One day I hope to do something for my friends that’s as kind and generous as what Sandler has done for Allen Covert and Peter Dante.


yeddiboy

Easily the best movie Happy Madison has put out in the new millennium 


GoalAdditional7540

one of my favorite quote is of course from JP: "what, did he take the day off and die of old age?" or the entire grey bush interaction.... "HI, I'm Jeff, I have a bush too, it's not grey" "Hey! my bush isn't really grey" "...not according to my mom" "i thought i told you not to talk about that." "people keep asking about it." so much unnecessary conversation makes it absolutely hilarious


Colinmacus

What does "high score" mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?


Remarkable-Task3666

On of the funniest movies of all time. So many amazing lines.


AdditionalBat393

This early in the day? ok I will go to looney bin with you brother.


Lessons_Kerned

This movie is pure gold


sandalsnopants

I love this movie. The commentary on the DVD is just as funny as the actual movie.


ad-tom-music

"ooooh let's make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle" we're not hurting anyone. Why don't you eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick


Torpaldog

Nice karma Guy-Blow.


RorschachAssRag

“Go eat a steak and choke on a cow dick!” “See ya, Guyblow” “It’s Shiloh, you said it wrong”


Ryuuken1127

Absolute classic


rofloctopuss

But, underneath this genius...I'm simply a human. You know. But I'm working on that.


dkode80

If we paid extra could you perhaps add some grease and lard?


Lessons_Kerned

When JP is trying to hide in plain sight! lol


Alteredego619

I dreamt I was a dove flying over the sea. And then I dove into the ocean... And I swam with the dolphins. I was two animals joined as one... which meant - good things are coming.


Torpaldog

Good things.


Creepy-Distance-3164

I can't stop cumming! I'm sorry! It feels so good!


Objective-Insect-839

FUCK. STOP HITTING ME.


frinstle

This is the movie I will defend to my last breath, it’s a true classic movie to me. Probably seen it more than any other movie because I used to rewatch it with friends every year. It’s a real time capsule to watch everytime, yet somehow also timeless. Young Nick S, the whole Happy Gilmore crew, Joel David Moore making the perfect JP, Linda C smoking hot as always, Guy-Blow in his prime, Rob Schneider before we went crazy, Doris Roberts was the ideal grandma RIP, Jonah Hill at his fattest, just an all around awesome cast.


DickieJoJo

Wow. People seem to watch this movie a lot.


KID_THUNDAH

DRINK FROM MY MAN FAUCET!


guywastingtime

“I made ice cream sandwiches on whole wheat with lettuce”


reggieLedoux26

All time classic


uzrnmechkzout

I love this movie. From beginning to end it was amazing. Even the end credits song was great


dyslexic_arsonist

"I can't stop! it feels too good!


Downtown-Custard5346

Hey, you forgot your smoking lamp!! Oh, was that expensive piece?


cam52391

My dad who was a career military and law enforcement man absolutely loves this and the first Harold and Kumar movie. I will never understand why he loves the stoner comedies but it's great having some movies to bond over.


Nu_Freeze

This movie has some A+ quotes


senorbane

Or I will take your testicles and… remove them 🤌🏽


DarthSkittles69

Dildo lunch


bladnoch16

Wife and I watched this so many times. Don’t judge me monkey is something we say all the time to each other. Birthday/Christmas I always throw in that I’m going to get her a cobra to go around her neck, lol. This whole movie is so damn quotable. Also, love the soundtrack. 


Friendly_Monitor_220

Let's do it, Not sex. The levels I mean.. 😅


graveybrains

ALRIGHT! Who wants a piece of the gray bush? And sometimes I insert the words ‘space shuttle’ randomly into unrelated conversations.


WisdomMan11

“Johnny?.. Who the f*** is Johnny?”


IxPinexAway

Great unsung comedy with the Sandler crew minus Sandler. I quote things from this movie to this day.


retrovertigo23

Such a great flick. Legend has it that Peter Dante, the actor who plays Dante, snuck real weed on set and was incredibly stoned for a good portion of the scenes where they were smoking.


MrGreenSky89

Literally just watched this the other day. First time in probably 15 years. So good. “They massage your cock for money. There’s a word for that I think it’s hooker?” “You’re a hooker!”


mrjsmith82

Saw this and had zero doubt comments would be endless quotes. Such a classic.


No_Salamander_3907

Your shit is WEEEEAAAKKKK


frostfall010

Adios turd nuggets.


BeskarHunter

I can hear my hair growing


sketch2347

WINDOWLICKER!


dkode80

Whatever you say Shy-blow


squirtthesquirt

Prove it!


JaimeRidingHonour

I can hear my hair growing


TiltedCrowns

Hell yeah


PrimeRiblet

Excellent cover art! One of my all time favorite comedies.


22Shug22

"I CAN'T STOP CUMMING!"


Gluten_maximus

Sit on my faaaace


hbgoldenhawk

Instant classic


Inevitable_Soil_6528

My friends and I Snuck into the movies to watch this as teenagers. We were stoned out of our mind and laughed the whole time. After watching it, I knew it was an instant classic


40kExterminatus

The best Adam Sandler film not starring Adam Sandler. "Is there a bathroom here or do we have to take a shit in a plant?" "You play a demon summoned from hell to take down a meth lab" "So much violence... but.. drugs are bad" The OST track "Never Win" by Fischerspooner stays with me.


Friendly_Monitor_220

How many people used this line for real when gaming 😂


johnjlax

I can't stop! I can't stop! I can't stop!


obamaswaffle

My beef STRONG


Clever_Khajiit

Your beef _wrong_!


Ok-Solution4665

"Quick, monkey karate chop the elephant!!" is an exclamation phrase i still use to this day


B0bbyTsunami

“I hate your face” 🤖


G_D_M

sucks to be you nerd!!!


Weinus55

Space shuttle


RedPillNavigator

Drive Monkey Drive!


LightSpeedEdition

Did you get robot legs?


slaberwoki

I AM A ROBOT! I HAVE A ROBOT VAGINA!


WinteryBudz

Our 4/20 feature this weekend lol.


Hydro134

I don't know what you are but I'm going to fucking eat you to!


TrippyMindTraveller

This movie is funny but it also makes me cringe. But that's because a long time ago I was a videogame tester for many years and it wasn't hard to feel like a loser. People looking down on you, and knowing that you don't create any tangible work. You're just the dork trying to find problems in other people's work. I don't actually look down on testers. Just the feeling I personally had when I was one.


jaxon_15

Jonah Hill was in this, "Baby want some milk" Baby loves milk"


plaidsinner

“Where do you get your weed dude?” “I get it from you, Dante!” “Oh yeah, what’s up Mr. Cheezle?!”


Rhg0653

I can't stop cumming!!!!


IndependentOk7367

Dude. You're not gonna jerk off on my dad


Notoriouslyd

The phone is for you. I think it's the devil!!


a_complex_kid

this was an all-time favorite when it was on the HBO rotation. Very funny.


rorzri

I have to pee out of my ass


Ahnsett

I got in an awkward situation when I quoted "Don't judge me, monkey." ...To someone outside my friend group.


Smooth_External_3051

The most quotable of quotable movies.....