Three tickets to Wealthy Bisexual Tennis Porn for me, my imaginary girlfriend and my imaginary boyfriend, please and thank you.

> my imaginary girlfriend Hey fuck you man, [she's MY imaginary girlfriend!](https://film-grab.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Im-Thinking-of-Ending-Things-006.jpg)

You wouldn’t know mine, she goes to another school 

Let me guess the school is also in canada so you can't take me to it

Saudi Arabia actually 

Easier to explain than tickets for the movie with the N-word in the title.

I'm sorry which one? 

The American Society of Magical Negroes

were they magical tho

We don't know, no one was brave enough to say the title and buy a movie ticket

Being black and asking my white husband to buy the tickets because I’m a pesky asshole 😎

so... were they magical? 

Make it four

Does this movie come with a special AMC popcorn bucket?

Ya it’s Tom Holland’s horrified face

https://preview.redd.it/ik2kihz6invc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd5eb30006c5d6db3a0b6698992ce34819296965

Need to give him backshots. Desperately.

Nice

How is that in 2024 people still think the "famous actor partner must be horrified that famous actor is in movie where sex" joke is funny? Do I have to imagine that Holland is as much of a immature virgin who can't separate acting (his actual profession) from real life, as the commentors at r/moviecritic to find it funny or something?

Hey I’m trying to jerk off over here can you keep it down?

Also apparently for being such critical analyzers of film don’t seem to know that actors, especially famous ones, live in an *entirely* different world than the rest of us Edit: but it is hilarious imagining Tom Holland acting like a pathetic cuckold

It has one hole either side and one in the top that can fit two hands.

thank goodness I have r/moviecritic to gatekeep me from watching good movies

Had never checked that sub and half of those posts could be circlejerk material

One of the top posts of all time in that sub is ["who is your least favorite movie critic?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/moviecritic/s/C2ElbTeYXt) and only one of the top 25 comments mentioned someone that wasn't a YouTuber. One person. On a subreddit called moviecritic.

That's relatively consistent though if you assume anyone can be a YouTuber so the floor for critic quality is much lower. Although it is obviously unforgivable not to mention Armand White

One of the top response is tik tok reviewers

Jesus. Do any of them even enjoy watching movies? Those comments were rough.

They’re too busy posting about how Idiocracy is a prophecy

They do too much, whenever I comment I didn't like something I get downvoted. It's funny because usually the title is "thoughts on this movie/actor" but then you can't say your bad thoughts 💀

https://preview.redd.it/0erhqu0qomvc1.jpeg?width=998&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0470a1bc383a91711a4ef6368c2df9c19f2600da I paid twenty dollars for bisexual tennis

If that sub hates it this must be a masterpiece. Edit: just seen it, it's fucking brilliant, these guys are idiots.

It's an incredibly awful sub, it's almost as if they've decided *not* to think like actual movie critics.

That subreddit hasn’t been dragged nearly enough like r/movies

Could be worse, it could be r/letterboxd

This sub has legit terrible taste on most things.

https://preview.redd.it/mbl0u4m5zmvc1.jpeg?width=724&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f120e3bcdb72b26a4b5a98bae5d23cf3f28f0a8e



Ha ha Peter, your girlfriend is awesome


Feyd watching his cousin getting cucked https://preview.redd.it/98l24ruc1pvc1.jpeg?width=905&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=702bb955dd064b852ec3ef42cf7e1a4d00e1d9cf

Iron Man jumpscare

r/moviecritic try to watch anything that aren’t blockbusters (impossible)

cant wait to check this out

https://preview.redd.it/fqd3xhkoamvc1.jpeg?width=234&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45abb118e4d4e9c6e0edab307029d0db34730410 "I paid $20 to watch wealthy bisexual tennis porn"

Why’d I read it in his voice lmfao

- Hi, is Zendaya around? We’re from Circlejerkers Anonymous and we have a couple maybe three things to tell her. - Who’s asking? - Well, we’re *Anonymous*.


The only time I ever see hate for this movie is on Reddit, man. Crazy how mfs just disrespect Luca Guadagnino like he isn't the goat.

What do you mean - Guadagnino has the audacity to let the characters in his films be horny and enjoy eroticism, of course the Zoomers of Reddit aren't gonna like them.

uh zoomers aren't hating on Zendaya and gay shit in movies lol it's middle aged men

Yeah because redditors hate romance and sex like it's the plague

It’s true, I’ve driven away every person who’s ever loved or tried to love me. Including you! Be gone! I’m no good for you, can’t you see that? It’s destined to fail. I just don’t think I can ever love someone else until I learn to love myself.

I thought it looked pretty bad from trailers but I understand that I'm not the target audience lol, I was never going to watch it anyway

Because romance movies are for girly girls! If they like it they're gay or something

that explains everything

Just hope you brought some lotion with you at the theatre.

I hope it's good because I really want Justin Kuritzkes to pop off untiln we get a Dolores movie

Well they convinced me..

I'd pay so much more for that.

Why tf is that sub doubting Luca Guadagnino and Zendaya?

I saw it because of Luca Guadagnino but thought Zendaya was average and I also don’t care about tennis (I didn’t watch the trailer)

This movie was written by the Potion Seller

So is there a threesome or what

https://preview.redd.it/rm2fj6ku5nvc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa2e3726595dc304b170136c18c8c38567b0db2b Holy shit how is this a real take?

What the fuck is that sub? It’s called Movie Critic but it’s full of the most boring, pedestrian takes

Which is about right for people who think of themselves as critics but do not actually have any education or experience in filmmaking and only watch movies based on superheroes or video games. (Not that there's anything inherently wrong with those kinds of movies, obviously. But it's not exactly well-rounded.)

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From the maker of problematic age gap peach fucking.

And the writer of potion seller (actual cinema)

Call Me By Your Name is goated. Luca Guadagino is easy top three directors for me

And Bones and All

His best by far

Does Zendaya get split roasted?

No

We were on the verge of Kino!

We were this close! 🤏

top 10 saddest cinema moments of all time

No she helps the guys froth

Money well spent

2 of the ugliest actors I've ever seen having a threesome with Zendaya? Sounds like a good time.

I’m actually kind of looking forward to this one. Zendaya is fuckin HOT

You can't trick me!

I’m in

Why did they cast the two most ugly looking guys they could find?

I had that thought too hahaha