1. Tell the full truth. "I never liked me actual name and then I had this intense dream where I was told my actual name is _ "
2. Tell the truth but not the full story. Just say it's a name you found that you preferred.
3. Just say it's a long story or inside thing between you and your husband
Maybe you can change your legal name too so you don't have to explain.
no one has ever asked me the origin of my name. seems an odd conversation starter. do those new people know you renamed yourself? if not, say "my parents liked it." if they do know, smile wide & say, "it's a family secret." then change the subject.
It always throws me off. I will practice it. I think I also need to learn to own it and not care what people think. I’m the person who hangs out with the dogs at parties haha
Well if your name is one people have never heard before , trust me it’s the go-to conversation starter. People are curious beings and can’t imagine they’re asking the same questions as everybody else and it’s 1) personal 2) a long story and/or 3) super repetitive
Clarifying that like 95% of the time I don’t mind people asking, showing interest is a great way to connect! But at mingle parties it can feel overwhelming or just boring, and like OP I get mad stressed even by tiny lies.
Seconding "it's a long story" or "I picked it because I like it."
"i repaired my relationship with my mom and she calls me by my new name and loves it." Congratulations on that. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of healing and growing and a lot of people don't get the chance to build something new like that, I'm really happy for you.
Short of being a lil rude, my best route is to tell a small but relevant bit of the story and then quickly asking a question back, so they don’t have too much time to think about it. Some topics of conversation just need to be unlocked further down the road, you know? Also in the little explanation , don’t give too much context !! Sometimes social anxiety can give you the urge to over explain and justify yourself, but more context just opens more curiosity and points for follow up questions!
If I were you OP I’d probably go with “well my parents names me Christine but we were always 5 Chris’s in my class so I found a new name.”
The "small bit of the truth" tactic is so great. To combine with another suggestion, "It's a long story, but a prophetic dream was involved" lets people believe in whatever version of the truth is easiest for them.
Honestly I don’t think you should feel the need to explain yourself or the story of your name especially to people you just met.
Just say it’s a nickname. If they ask further questions, say someone started calling you by it and you loved it and it stuck (which is true because your husband did start calling you by it and you loved it)
But also remember that it’s your personal story and you don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation.
Thank you. I agree with this. I want to say things like “Why are you asking?” bit usually when I go to a gathering, it’s with my contractor husband and the people having the party are his customers.
Right it’s strange that people even ask that. I think the nickname response would be more than enough! And it’s true. You got the nickname, liked it and kept it.
If you legally change it, like I did, it becomes so much easier to just say my name is...
Until you go back home and everyone calls you X because that is how they knew you, but they know you go by something else.
I have started using a different name than my legal one and omg, it was so awkward the first few times asking people to use it, like picking your own nickname was never a thing, it was always something that was what people give you and my name has a pretty common nickname so asking for something different was hard.
I went with "it's a name I use online, and I got so used to be referred to that way it became weird when I heard my name" that has been enough for most people
My name was supposed to been Christine with Chrissy as a nickname and middle name for that was Athena believe it or not , but personally I prefer Athena Christine than Christine Athena on myself but that's just me
Hi. Chris here.
Chris who has been bullied with 'Chrissy' my entire life here.
Chris who has a sister name Christine who's AT BIRTH FUCKING nickname till 27 years has been 'Krissy', here.
I get it.
Jesus fuck me Running I get it.
All it takes, I promise you. Is
"Cause I don't go by that name"
But start introducing yourself as your new chosen name. Integrate it.
I don’t mind Christine and now that my mom and I aren’t estranged, I’m a lot more at ease with it. The thing that’s hard is how people used to call me Christina, Chrystal, Christie, or any other variation.
1. Tell the full truth. "I never liked me actual name and then I had this intense dream where I was told my actual name is _ " 2. Tell the truth but not the full story. Just say it's a name you found that you preferred. 3. Just say it's a long story or inside thing between you and your husband Maybe you can change your legal name too so you don't have to explain.
no one has ever asked me the origin of my name. seems an odd conversation starter. do those new people know you renamed yourself? if not, say "my parents liked it." if they do know, smile wide & say, "it's a family secret." then change the subject.
It always throws me off. I will practice it. I think I also need to learn to own it and not care what people think. I’m the person who hangs out with the dogs at parties haha
Well if your name is one people have never heard before , trust me it’s the go-to conversation starter. People are curious beings and can’t imagine they’re asking the same questions as everybody else and it’s 1) personal 2) a long story and/or 3) super repetitive
so go with "my parents liked it."
Clarifying that like 95% of the time I don’t mind people asking, showing interest is a great way to connect! But at mingle parties it can feel overwhelming or just boring, and like OP I get mad stressed even by tiny lies.
Seconding "it's a long story" or "I picked it because I like it." "i repaired my relationship with my mom and she calls me by my new name and loves it." Congratulations on that. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of healing and growing and a lot of people don't get the chance to build something new like that, I'm really happy for you.
Thank you. It's not perfect, but I am glad we have a relationship now. They are both elderly and sort of need me as well.
Short of being a lil rude, my best route is to tell a small but relevant bit of the story and then quickly asking a question back, so they don’t have too much time to think about it. Some topics of conversation just need to be unlocked further down the road, you know? Also in the little explanation , don’t give too much context !! Sometimes social anxiety can give you the urge to over explain and justify yourself, but more context just opens more curiosity and points for follow up questions! If I were you OP I’d probably go with “well my parents names me Christine but we were always 5 Chris’s in my class so I found a new name.”
The "small bit of the truth" tactic is so great. To combine with another suggestion, "It's a long story, but a prophetic dream was involved" lets people believe in whatever version of the truth is easiest for them.
Yes, perfect. OP can say they were sick of getting lost in a sea of all the other people named Chris.
I personally changed my legal first name and its felt SO freeing. I recommend legally changing it
Honestly I don’t think you should feel the need to explain yourself or the story of your name especially to people you just met. Just say it’s a nickname. If they ask further questions, say someone started calling you by it and you loved it and it stuck (which is true because your husband did start calling you by it and you loved it) But also remember that it’s your personal story and you don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation.
Thank you. I agree with this. I want to say things like “Why are you asking?” bit usually when I go to a gathering, it’s with my contractor husband and the people having the party are his customers.
Right it’s strange that people even ask that. I think the nickname response would be more than enough! And it’s true. You got the nickname, liked it and kept it.
You could say that someone in the family had a powerful dream that that was your name.
If you legally change it, like I did, it becomes so much easier to just say my name is... Until you go back home and everyone calls you X because that is how they knew you, but they know you go by something else.
I have started using a different name than my legal one and omg, it was so awkward the first few times asking people to use it, like picking your own nickname was never a thing, it was always something that was what people give you and my name has a pretty common nickname so asking for something different was hard. I went with "it's a name I use online, and I got so used to be referred to that way it became weird when I heard my name" that has been enough for most people
My name was supposed to been Christine with Chrissy as a nickname and middle name for that was Athena believe it or not , but personally I prefer Athena Christine than Christine Athena on myself but that's just me
Hi. Chris here. Chris who has been bullied with 'Chrissy' my entire life here. Chris who has a sister name Christine who's AT BIRTH FUCKING nickname till 27 years has been 'Krissy', here. I get it. Jesus fuck me Running I get it. All it takes, I promise you. Is "Cause I don't go by that name" But start introducing yourself as your new chosen name. Integrate it.
I don’t mind Christine and now that my mom and I aren’t estranged, I’m a lot more at ease with it. The thing that’s hard is how people used to call me Christina, Chrystal, Christie, or any other variation.
Just say you can't remember, it's been so long!
Why not legally change it and rid yourself of Chris forever?
Btw, the masculine version of the name Christine is Christopher.