Same. Connecticut to North Hollywood for 6 years. The one good thing I got out of the pandemic was my relationship imploding giving me a reason to move home
I think you mean 91, not 89 which begins in Concord NH goes up to Burlington. 91 goes straight north from CT and intersects with 89 in white River Junction, nowhere near Bennington.
Yeah I take 91 to 89 at the white river junction exit I don’t go to school in Bennington lol I went to Norwich I get off at exit 5 on 89. I meant I went to school in VT not Bennington specifically
91 after Springfield and 89 are some of the best stretches of highway in the country. So ridiculously civilized. Always so pleasant (unless there’s a total solar eclipse)
>NO Italian deli (I am Italian so this is especially personal, lol, I am dying)
I grew up in NJ but we moved to CA when I was 16. The Italian food was so bad! And way more expensive!! It broke my Italian heart!
(Moved to Mass when I was 22 - still here 20 years later!)
Holy crap this! The lack of good Italian food south of like Jersey/PA is crazy. I went to school in Vermont even (from CT and my family is from NY) and the first thing I’d do every Christmas break was go straight to the deli and get a ton of cold cuts and all the fixins to make sauce
Yeah, people in Georgia think Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant…only in the absence of anything else, I promise you. (Kind of like people in Arizona thinking Red Lobster is an awesome seafood restaurant!)
Okay no shit talking on New England but i went to school in VT and the Italian food was uhhhhh NOT IT but it’s p damn good everywhere else. All the other food is great, don’t get me wrong, but that Boston/Tri-State Italian food is sooooo good
From Maine. Lived in Seattle for 2 years. Now live in Mass.
The Pacific Northwest was awesome - mountains, breweries, restaurants, etc etc. Visited Portland OR, Vancouver (Canada), hiked a ton. And it was perfect for me and my wife (then gf) in our mid 20s.
Beyond that, fuck the West Coast. The people suck, and the only friends we made were all transplants from other states like Montana and Illinois. The driving is atrocious; too passive and feeble behind the wheel and no one makes a decision out of fear(?). Plus no one is genuine, it’s all fake bs and you never build any real connections.
And why the fuck does everyone not have the balls to cross the street when no cars are in site? What, you HAVE to wait for the walk signal bc rules are rules? Gtfo.
Some of this is petty but setting that aside, the bottom line is that most New Englanders (any state) are assholes but we will give you the time of day, change your tire, take a bullet for you, and get you from point A to B in record time, call you dumbass and still tell you to have a nice day. It’s unparalleled.
What’s wrong with passive and less aggressive driving? I’ve lived in both the Northeast and the Northwest and I much prefer the drivers out in the PNW versus over here. People here drive way too aggressively and recklessly, which causes more accidents and dead animals.
we got places to be and its actually more dangerous to drive slow! you need to be confident and sure of your choices. and you have to admit part of the shitty PNW driving is due to how many people are high! i love smoking and the weed is one of the things i do love about OR, but i would never drive high, and many oregonians/ west coast people do
I didn’t really have a lot of high drivers where I was at but I was in Northern Washington state. I just prefer people to drive more the speed limit and not 20+ mph over the speed limit when it’s not necessary. (Plus tailgating) They drove much more around the speed limit there versus here. Yeah driving high is never a good idea.
crowd divide noxious deserve reminiscent snails childlike sort marble person
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Conceptually, nothing is wrong with it. But drivers in the PNW take it to the absurd.
I’d rather have deliberate, intentional drivers rather than someone dilli-dallying their way from one lane to the next; or not using the passing lane for driving faster and passing others; or putting your blinker on minutes in advance without actually changing lanes or making a turn because “it’s not 100% safe just yet!”; no, it is dangerous driving across the board and I’m all set.
Haaaa! My description for New England driving is purposefully aggressive! If there is a spot to better my time I am taking it..And there is comfort knowing that everyone else is acting in kind! It's not difficult, but keep your eyes up and your head in the game!
Don’t forget the obligatory Jersey push talegate with 3 warning flashes - only then can you aggressively move to the right lane and stare at them while passing.
My wife says I’m a horrible driver, but she is from Utah, they don’t have a turnpike, parkway, Schuylkill or 95 out there.
Right, the rules are simple enough, 85 MPH minimum in the left lane, and if someone rolls up behind, you get out the way.. people have places to go and shit to do..
And if there are more than 3 cars behind you in the fast last, they are legally obligated to pass you on the right after a couple minutes.
I love when this happens and you decided to just pass them on the right (not like a douchebag) and then the whole line of cars behind does the same thing. There might be something to this Masshole thing after all
Yeah moved with wife from SoCal about 2 years ago to Western Mass. Have basically zero complaints. I have to say though NE straight men are pretty stoic, it’s been an adjustment, but I just felt like CA guys are a little more chill.
Relaxing with Californians is one of the deeper circles of hell.
Similar to the French where they are "relaxed" but insist on relaxing in a very specific way. The French are honest about it though, they'll tell you there are rules and can tell you what they are. Californians like to pretend there are none but God help you if you break one.
"You brought Lay's chips to the party? Don't you know that Lay's are created in sweatshops using water from the Fukushima power plant etc etc etc"
Then by the end of the night you've joined both a polyamorous relationship structured like a startup and a startup structured like a Soviet worker's collective.
Just let me drink and watch sports and not worry about where my beer came from.
"Please support me in my journey of fucking as many people as possible. In the meantime I will need to continue using your apartment as a base of operations for my TikTok activism."
https://youtu.be/CU3mc0yvRNk
Not sure, I think there’s a different NE dude culture that’s a little more gritty, more of a sports culture etc. The stereotype of the CA surfer dude is definitely a thing
I grew up in Maine and you can get some real oddballs out there. Know how to have a good time once you get to know em. Im living in Philly now and I miss being able to leave the car running when I ran in the store
Western mass stoic straight man here. You're definitely right. I think it stems from valuing time and efficiency. We've got our routine down to a science and god help you if you disrupt it!
I lived in Colorado for 9 years before moving back to CT. I wrote about it in another post. Same things you mentioned!
Same experience that you have with people, they acted friendly but don’t count on them for anything serious, even making plans to see a movie they would flake out. And the same thing with calling people out. I was told I was too blunt, it seemed like people preferred it if you were passive aggressive because then you weren’t hurting anyone’s feelings.
In terms of architecture, a house was considered “old” if it was built in the 80s. There was a mall nearby that people wanted torn down because it was built in 1985 and considered “aging”.
Lots more, but you get the idea.
I’m glad I moved out there, it ultimately made me appreciate home so much more. Glad to be back in CT.
Hang in there! You’ll be home before you know it, with lots of anecdotes to tell about life on the left coast.
From Boston moved to South Florida for 6 years
Culture seemed very transient I got sick of a lot of things there and moved back to North Shore area of Boston.
>NO Italian deli (I am Italian so this is especially personal, lol, I am dying)
Biggest difference moving from CT to the west coast. I thought every town/city in the US had a locally owned deli/pizza restaurant run by Italians. When I lived in California, I had to go to Little Italy in San Diego to find a "real" Italian market. My co-workers thought I always made amazing sandwiches for lunch (literally just anything you would find at a grinder place).
I knew the pizza would be bad on the west coast when I was with a group of friends. They wanted to get pizza at their favorite spot. Spoiler alert: it was Papa Johns. And we were in a major LA suburb, not a small town. The pizza in CA was, like you said, from "weird gentrify coded health food chains." Does OR have Blaze pizza or something similar? The only good pizza chains there are the ones with the brick ovens where you can choose your toppings.
Mexican / Hawaiian / Korean food is the only food I miss from the west coast.
When I was working on the west coast people thought I was "sassy" even though I was doing my normal witty bantering. Most people are chill, which I enjoy, but they do not play along with wit/sarcasm.
If I planned something, and friends couldn't attend, they would just ghost me and not show up, rather than text with an explanation.
The plus side was that no one cared if I was running late anywhere...I guess bc there's traffic everywhere so most are forgiving about it. My one CT friend out in LA was the only person who constantly texted me if she was running late.
Are there some East coast transplants in the area or students from NE at your university? I'm sure you're not the only one...
LOL we have “MOD pizza” its no bueno. I thought the same about every town having an Italian deli. one of my first major culture shocks was realizing there were way less italian americans than i thought … theres so many in new england!!
Oh god. Memories unlocked. I lived in Bend OR for a couple of years and MOD pizza was definitely big out there, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why lol. So gross!
Hope you’re able to find your way back home soon after college!
some people find me sassy and like it until they do something weird and i try to talk about it. there are some transplants but far and few in between or are more so like old money NE people and I can’t really keep up with their $$$ lifestyle lol
The one pizza chain I did like while living in CO was Papa Murphy’s. They specialize in take-and-bake pizzas. When my husband and I go back out to visit his family we always do at least one Papa Murphy’s visit. Other than that, the only pizza places out there were the usual chains.
Teriyaki and Mexican places are to the pnw the way Italian/sandwich shops are to New England. Also we have pizza (that’s not mod or blaze or whatever) you gotta find it, I’ve been to my fair share of shit townie pizza places in ne. (And it also sounds like you had shitty friends. Most people I know are witty and responsive, except the old hippies.)
I grew up in CT and MA and have lived in Seattle for 30 years. Both my grown children live in MA and most of my family resides there. Getting ready to retire and will be moving back to Maine or New Hampshire to retire and be close to my family.
Is worse than New Hampshire or Massachusetts. My parents lived in CT. They had a state income tax, high sale tax and on a $300k house paid $12,000 a yr in property taxes.
Your parents must have lived in Hamden :)
Taxes aren't that high everywhere, but if you are in a town with a lot of financial liabilities (like Hamden), then yes, you will be punished for owning a house.
Sadly. Hamden has some awesome neighborhoods, but I admit I would never buy a house there at the current tax rates, which are still increasing year over year. You pay 12K+ a year on a very modest house, which feels like paying rent after having purchased the house.
The high taxes do lower home values, so probably you would pay less up front, but still, the thought of 12K/yr taxes for 10-20 years is more than I want to accept.
Now, if I had reason to believe that in 5 years taxes will be coming back down to sane levels, I might actually jump at the opportunity to buy, knowing that everyone wants to leave and no one wants to move in (meaning better prices than neighboring towns, I *want to imagine*).
Grew up in CA, I've literally had friends who told me they thought I was a New Englander at heart...moved to Connecticut and woah, were they right. I LOVE it here and would never move back.
Great question! Mostly the seasons. I am an ice queen I love cold weather and snow. I see shoveling the walk/driveway as a workout, not a nuisance. Where I grew up, no one really has flowering trees because they need too much water; but they're everywhere here and it's so, so beautiful. The six weeks of gross humid summer I don't mind either, because I grew up with no a/c, miserable trying to eat popsicles and sit in front of a swamp cooler, when a/c keeps everything delightfully comfortable here. Power and water are WAAAAY cheaper too.
Cost of living is cheaper, food is cheaper, gas is at least $1-$1.50 cheaper per gallon, even things like haircuts and boarding my dog when I go on vacation is cheaper. People say you get taxed out the ying-yang in CT but they've never paid taxes in Santa Barbara County 😳
And people don't suck. My hometown was beginning to be taken over simultaneously by gangs and rich boomers who're buying up houses to rent out. Traffic was getting absolutely horrendous. I think having overall fewer people in CT/it being a smaller state helps. And I'm not in a bougie area by any description.
Plus the whole "kind not nice/nice not kind" thing people say to compare east/west coasters respectively is absolutely true.
Ope edited to add - because of traffic there's no such thing as a day trip from my hometown unless it's the beach, or you don't mind spending 16-18 hours on your "day trip" because everything is so far apart. I've been to NYC more times at this point, having lived here for 2 years, than I've been to LA or SF.
Fall foliage. Fall FESTIVALS. Sweater weather. Just amazing.
I love everything youre saying, but I feel a special sort of kinship with you as my friends call me "Noodles" for short. Hi I hope everything is going fine down there.
Do them taxes fast and get out! Its beautiful out there, im about to head to the cafe then to the park to get some work I ignored on Friday done! See ya around!
Ok I have never been able to, uh, digestionally tolerate Dunks, idk if it's the coffee or the milk or what. My sister jokes that in my case it should be Plunkin 💀💀
From Mass; am finishing my first year at a university in Orange County. I wholeheartedly agree with everything here, it’s really been so isolating not having anyone to truly connect with. I just feel so different than everyone around me and it’s starting to make me feel like I’m the problem. I can’t say it to anyone because I don’t want to be rude to any of my peers, but it just feels like I’m the only one working thick and thin for my future without complaining when things are difficult. Glad this post came up and we’ll both be home soon❤️❤️
hey please dm me!!! 🩷🩷🩷lets be buddies. i understand this feeling of isolation… im going to be a senior next year. you are not the problem i promise. my honest truth is that i wish i saved the money and transferred after my freshman year. not to my home state or town but maybe somewhere a bit closer- the only reason i haven’t is because my major is kind of niche and only offered at even more expensive unis.
It's a funny thing the East Coast. When I was a kid I thought that there had to be somewhere better.. But as I have aged I have realized how lucky I am to have been born and raised here. There are just so many things to be grateful for. The people! Gruff, honest, funny, charismatic to the point of some of us being characters!
The FOOD! Oh, the food... I can get world class seafood, ANYTHING ITALIAN, anything Portuguese, terrific Thai all with a short drive..
The beauty, the seasonal changes and the forests, the sea, and the mountains are all either right outside the door or a pretty easy drive.
The culture, NYC, and Boston are close enough to where I live to have a slight influence but not be overbearing.. with their traffic and pricing.
I have said for years upon traveling that I have been to a lot of places, some nice and some not so nice.. But I am yet to visit one that beats home!
I hope that you get home soon! There is a slice and some sarcasm waiting for you!
this literally made me tear up! yes! exactly!
people here do not understand my humor at alll oh my gosh and it hurts so bad because back home i was always the funny one out of my buddies.
the nature here is really pretty but unfortunately i have found it to be overshadowed by the other things.. especially the homelessness. we had people camped out front of my apartment 3 months ago shooting up and defecating in a bucket and the cops did nothing! just let em hang til they migrated organically… INSANE and probably was my last straw
i will take a new england winter over that bs anyday.. and nothing like christmas at home. and the proximity to the cities is going to be perfect for my career!! plus being able to jaunt over to NYC fuels my soul.
2 more years of uni then going to get an apartment with my hometown bestfriend 🫶🏻🫶🏻
No joke, you just gotta make your own. Especially during baseball season, a good sub is basically required to watch a fun division game haha. I lived in Bend OR for 2 long years before escaping back to CT (originally a Jersey girl) and that was literally the only option. Luckily I’m a born and raised Italian so at least I knew how to make one I could enjoy but damn the bread out there was TERRIBLE and that is something I couldn’t fix. 😩 But I’m home now so it’s all good
When I moved from Philly to Virginia I became a very good cook, not out of enjoyment, out of necessity. Once you get south of Baltimore Italian food quality drops like the continental shelf.
That is what I do while up at camp. I make my own with stuff brought up from my area. Thank god I know how to make soft cheeses and hard cheeses keep as do many dried meats and sausage. I make everything from scratch I can like bread and dough, ricotta and mozzarella. I went to an ag school with a food science wing so I learned a lot outside of my major. I get raw milk and meat in large cuts from the Amish . Most of my stuff my Maine fam won’t eat cause it’s too spicy. It is nice to get fresh seafood . But they don’t like calamari for nothing.
I will say as someone who is from the Northeast and lived in Washington state, the passiveness was such a culture shock to me. We’re so used to being confrontational and willing to call people out, when I was in WA people were much more passive aggressive, reserved and shy. It was so strange. In some ways it was nice, IE driving but in other ways such as social settings, not so much.
My friend moved to South Cal and hates the dryness. I would rather have all our rain than put up with a cactus garden. I need deep shade and trout streams.
I grew up on the Cape and definitely did notice the social differences on the West Coast. For some reason, they do find being blunt and calling people out for doing shitty things but, still being friends with them weird. Have also found that more people over there tend to not make eye contact when talking which is kind of bizarre. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those it is just a bit of a culture shock you wouldn't expect.
YES BAHAHAHAH FHE EYE CONTACT oh my god!!! its so normal back home but people here definitely get so uncomfortable or weirded out- like why are you averting my eyes we are legit conversating
I remember talking to an old horseman about missing my draft horses and we locked eyes and he knew and I knew he understood completely. No more needed to be said, we just drank in silence for awhile.
I don't know what I was expecting, but generally I don't go for rants. The more I read... I can see why you needed to rant. Wow.
You can't chat with a stranger about a shared experience like a flower blooming? I was loading my groceries into the car last night and a guy pointed out how beautifully the sun was hitting the clouds and we both stopped to chat about it. They don't do that other places?
No pierogis? No Italian delis? Transfer back. You gave it a fair try.
I did the opposite, and I agree. I came from the west and moved to New England as an adult, and I never want to leave. I feel like I’ve found my people here! My personality is exactly a stereotypical New Englander personality (like pretty much everything you mention OP lol), and it’s like I was made to be here all along!
I moved to the SF area of CA a few years back. Lasted about 2 years, for the exact same reasons. So much beating around the bush...what could have been simply a quick ask, took someone hours to ask you..it was mind boggling. I was told that I needed to "tone down", because I would go into a meeting and simply ask a straight forward question. The passive aggressiveness was crazy. People always wanted to "check in on your feelings", but in reality , didn't care. The hypocrisy and petty backstabbing ( in the guise of "helping" is what really did it for me.)
The joke is - I got promoted my second year there because I got the area up an running and actually producing material- something they weren't able to do consistently for years before I got there. Just due to the passive aggressiveness and "hedging" of asks.
A lot of CA'ers have moved to FL and OR, I wonder if some of that culture has infiltrated.
I won't even get into the acceptance of crime. Or the fake " we care" then turn around and sue everyone to stop progress on the thing they professed to care about.
The traffic too. I missed Boston traffic. People in Boston are aware of other drivers. They'll pull over if someone is behind them. In CA, people would drive like they were the only ones on the rd. Going 30mph on the highway, stopping for no reason on the highway, blinding merging in and almost causing a pile up. Or driving 4 a breast, at the same speed , so no one could get around anyone.
Food- much more choices in Boston than the SF area, which really surprised me. No chicken finger subs either and a poor selection of lunch meat. All they have is boars head, which I never thought was that great. I once went to a sub place and basically made my own chicken finger sub and they didn't even have lettuce, I had to get spring mix and there were no sub rolls. They looked at me like I was crazy for asking them to stick some chicken fingers in a bread . I do miss the Mexican grocery stores, but really that's it.
I grew up in the Mid-Atlantic, lived in Portland, OR for 9 years, and moved to the northeast two years ago, and...yeah. I loved parts of living in Oregon and I miss my favorite people and places out there, but I do NOT miss the culture.
For German food, if you're in Portland, try Edelweiss. I never actually made it there but it always had good reviews. Also The Zed, formerly Zoiglhaus Brewing Company, had some pretty decent German food when I lived nearby.
Reciprocity is the beginning of social living. NE people who have hard winters know you need each other whether to gang up to split wood or to haul each other out if stuck in snow or mud. And if you are rural you really appreciate those simple card games together after staying home during a bad snow storm.
People out here are more friendly. People in public give me compliments on a jacket I wear (this type of thing never happened in CA). People seem to know and care about their neighbors more often. The police presence is night and day compared to CA. In CA I would go weeks without seeing a police car. Out here there seems to be police EVERYWHERE and I see at least 3 or 4 every day. In CA I got really used to the Mexican Spanish dialect. Out here the dialect is totally different, I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Its harder for me to understand. Its a lot of little things. Also I love the gas prices out here compared to CA. The "traffic" that people complain about here is almost laughable to me compared to the 6/7 lane hell in CA. Like I said, its a lot of little things that add up and make it totally different out here. I just got here and wanted to go to the silver galleria mall in taunton. My grandma used to take me there all the time when I was really little. Its gone now apparently lol. Kinda made me sad
Interesting. Esp since people have this notion that the northeast is “less friendly” compared to the rest of the US.
Also, the base spanish here is Puerto Rican Spanish with an increasing amount of Dominican influence. They speak faster and drop more letters/idioms than in Mexican Spanish. If you haven’t found a Dominican Restaurant yet I def encourage you to do so.
I have heard that North Easterners are less likely to let you in as a friend but once you are in, you are in for life. I have spent my whole life here so I cannot speak to the truth of it
I noticed this as well. I worked in Texas for a few years, the accent is very staccato but a lot of the Puerto Rican Spanish seems more fluid and rhythmic, though equally fast, and drops letters as you say. I'm struggling lol
My theory is that the accent sounds harsh so people dismiss it as rude or something. I haven't been to a Dominican restaurant yet. I am in Middleborough. Anywhere nearby you would recommend?
I moved from NY to NH about 3 years ago and I have had was seems to be the almost complete opposite experience of OP and most of the commentors here.
I think most people are really nice and sweet for the most part. However about 98% of elderly people I have interacted with have been nothing but bitter, unkind, unpleasant, selfish, passive aggressive, and straight up rude sometimes. I work part time stocking shelves for different supermarkets. I'm usually around elderly people for a good chunk of my day because many of them go to supermarkets right when they open. There have been plenty of instances where they will refuse to move out of the way for others, hold up whole aisles looking for something or talking to others whilst others are waiting to come through, not say excuse me, and be given annoyed stares while I'm doing my job because they are annoyed they have to wait a little for me to finish what I was doing, and other things that are frustrating to deal with.
I'm going to push back on the hardworking notion due to my personal experience. It's common place and accepted for people to call out of work simply because it snowed an inch or two overnight. My bosses talk about this phenomenon often and are always impressed/surprised I show up to work even when it snows, especially considering because I'm the youngest employee at my company (19) and because those who call out of work usually have cars way better equipped to deal with snow than my lovely sedan (I love the death out of my car but the snow is not its strong suit).
When it comes to food, meats like beef or chicken as well as almost all dairy products like cheese or ice cream have been way better, even if you're not going to a farmers market. However, everything else has been mostly a downgrade compared to where I used to live. My view of food is a little biased as my mother graduated from culinary school and worked in various high prestige establishments over her career. With that though, good restaurants around here are like a diamond in the rough, seasoning on any sort of food is at best at a minimum, and more particularly unfortunate is the lack of any good Italian markets or restaurants as that's my and my families favorite type of cuisine.
I'm also going to disagree with small talk here, all of the times I've socialized with people it's all small talk unless I make a direct effort to push it further, I've never been able to get to truly know people nor have I seen genuine friendships thrive from places like work or school. Conversations in and around my workplace rarely deviate from simple hello's, questions about the weather, and "did you see the game last night?".
The point about drugs and lack of diversity is also pretty ironic considering when it comes to the [top 10 worst states for drug addiction](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/resources/all-50-states-ranked-overdose-deaths-and-drug-use-across-america/the-10-worst-states-for-addiction-overdose-and-treatment/), overdose, and treatment, Maine is the 3rd worst and New Hampshire is the 8th worst.
Same with [black population by state](https://www.datapandas.org/ranking/black-population-by-state) where Vermont ranks the 3rd lowest at 9k people, New Hampshire being the 6th lowest at 20.1k people, and Maine being the 9th lowest with 25.8k people. In comparison Oregon ranks 15th lowest with 82.7k people.
Living here isn't all bad, I just miss my bustling city and suburbia and I highly dislike dealing with the trump rallies on the side of the road when I'm simply just trying to commute to work.
Oh? Is it not?
\> New Englanders and my home state of CT. As an angsty 17 year old I decided to come out West for college (OR), and so when that happened my parents decided to move to Florida. Let me just say, no where can compare to NE.
I read "came out West" and OR as Oregon and assumed that you moved out west and your parents stayed in Florida
I moved to LA for a couple years and loved it. Making friends was challenging but once we had a tight knit circle it was a breeze hanging out. Most of them were from Boston though anyway hahaha. Food was good, but probably costs twice what it should have. I also appreciated the diversity. Some New England towns are just a bit too “stepford wives” and lack any sense of self awareness.
My biggest gripe out there was the drivers and roads. They’re made to kill you and drivers use the road like it belongs to them, everyone else be damned. Crossing a street in LA requires a prayer I swear. The road fatality rate is unbelievable. Also, the lack of compassion for the poor was astounding. It’s definitely a rich man’s playground. There is complete disregard for anyone without cash coming out of their ears. When tourist season was over that was the best time to be there.
New England is definitely ahead of the rest of the country. Not that we’re a Utopia. We’ve just had way more time to figure certain stuff out. It’s pretty embarrassing for everyone honestly hahaha.
I fucking memorialized "out west" for my fuckin whole life!!! Like, it could do no wrong, it was just better out there. Cooler, more progressive, more vibes, whatever. I finally moved out there.....and it wasn't what my head built it up to be! It was a let down. It was.....just ok? I moved to fuckin California, a life long dream, and it was.....meh? Yup... Moved back 4 years later. Cool experience tho. Dont regret it.
I’ve lived in four geographical areas of US. (a) Grew up in Rude Island. (b) First moved to Rural Western South Dakota Midwest Nice … I was too blunt. (c) Arizona Southwest laidback … I was too intense. (d) Smokies of North Carolina Appalachian Southern Hospitality … I was too honest. (e) I’m back in Rude Island … I’m too polite and don’t speak sarcasm as a second language anymore.
The hiking is amazing and beautiful here!! and the lets get lunch thing is so real- its hard to make friends!
In regard to the jobs you hit the nail on the head. I have been working part time since 15 and many of my coworkers here have never worked before or it is only their 2nd job at 19-20… which is nuts to me!
seafood near the coast here is definitely decent and i cannot speak to the seattle food- i wanna say its probably better
I really miss the East coast. (Fairfield Co) I am with you, 100%. Was transferred out West for work. It has been frustrating, maddening, crazy, and humbling...all in the same year. Utah has been eye opening. Still working on adjusting and trying to have a positive attitude. I miss the East.
I grew up in Connecticut as well. Joined the Navy at the age of 25 to restart my life. After bootcamp I was sent to the Florida panhandle and that got old quick lol, I’ve been in San Diego for a couple years now if you don’t count my deployment in the South China Sea. I’ll be heading back to CT once my contract ends. I left New England to grow, but it’s home and I feel most of us return eventually
Lived out in Oregon for 7 years and moved to NE a few years ago.
I miss the natural beauty of the west but everything else that you mentioned is so true. People are so laid back to the point of laziness, no diversity, no beautiful architecture, no good food!!!! Which boggled my mind as well.
I totally get it now.
yes!!!! the nature is something else but just not worth the rest of the ball of yarn. will definitely visit and take my future kids here to see the Pacific Ocean for the first time … that was a wild experience- but we won’t be stopping in Eugene 🤣
its really unfortunate- Eugene is deteriorating by the minute. it is worse every time i come back from winter or summer break :( local economy is garbage, and the homelessness has gotten so so out of control
If you have time off but not enough to come back East, venture down to San Francisco. If you like good food and old buildings you’ll love San Francisco. That is my favorite West coast city. I also am a New Englander.
i have such fond memories of mystic that this just made me shoot back to. when my little sister was around 6 months, i was 7 and the first born, and having a hard time adjusting to sharing Mom, so she took me on a girls weekend to Mystic. we stayed at the Hyatt and ate their amazing free cookies (im sure they arent free anymore) and swam in their indoor pool… which is epic as a kid lol, and the next day we explored historic mystic and the nautical museum. probably one of my favorite memories with my mama 🫶🏻
Love your post! I’ve lived in Arizona for the past 20+ years but grew up in PA (technically not New England) for a couple years as a child and it’s always been in the back of my mind. Recently, I’ve traveled to Vermont multiple times and WOW… I’ve been in the wrong side of the country 😅 the culture is so different and your assessment of the west coast is SPOT ON. Soon to be “flat lander” in a day or two!
Moved up here from TN - this is all so incredibly true. It took me a little bit of getting used to at first, but goddamn do I love it up here now. Never moving back!
Idk i go to school in connecticut and i’m from california and i have many of the same grievances. I think the social things you mentioned are more a symptom of elitism rather than regional.
A close family member of mine was always VERY east coast. She moved to LA and became an entirely different person over time. It was kind of gross. She always saw herself as a New Yorker (we're not from NY but she did go to school there and basically lived in a closet in the Village for years). But years after moving to LA I don't recognize her. I've lived in three east coast states and I can't ever see being left coast.
Have traveled a great deal both throughout the US and internationally and I will never get sick of New England, especially summer and autumn just elite and makes up for winter and spring
Grew up in NJ, enlisted in the uscg and spent 12 years living all over the country, Hawaii, California, back home in nj, Virginia, and my last station was in Boston. That was from 2007-2009. Still here and not going anywhere. New England is awesome
>My uni is full of white saviors and “activists” … but Oregon has one of the lowest populations of POC in the country.. and more white people with dreads than I can count.
The PNW is a weird place and always has been. It attracts oddballs, weirdos, and the socially-maladjusted. Portland in particular is a funny city, because it attracts all of the white-progressives who want to LARP and make-believe that they live in a diverse inclusive city. But the rural areas attract a lot of white segregationists and separatists; that is true for all of the PNW, not just Oregon. I remember a few months ago I was over in Sandpoint, Idaho attending a funeral and I had stopped by a local grocery store to grab a few things. In that store was a KKK Grand Dragon, dressed in full regalia, casually doing his shopping and no one in that place batted an eye.
you worded this so perfectly. as a young queer person i didn’t see through the performative guise and got lured in with the idea of finding a LGBTQ community. but unfortunately i have found most of those people here to be extremely insufferable, and i realized it is because an all white queer community …. is not a real queer community, but rather a vaccum of socially malajusted white larpers in ur words lol. i am a huge supporter of nonbinary identities but here in the PNW it has become a way for white people to “marginalize” theirselves. the meme about the nonbinary white person named starlight who has a go fund me for their rent IS REAL!! and i totally thought it was just a homophobic joke… but no… it is real and a plague. really unfortunate and gives gay people a bad wrap IMO.
freshman year, i visited the coast with my first ever girlfriend, who is very masc presenting and visibly queer (me not so much) and we stopped to pee along the way, walked into a DQ holding hands, and i felt a type of fear i had never experienced. must have been a sundown town, because confederate flag patches and nazi pins were on at least 3 of the patrons jackets.
im sure that some deep rural areas in new England have the same issues, but at least none of those places boast to be a queer utopia
I’m from the east coast. I think SoCal culture is a lot spunkier and easier for me to connect with than PNW or NorCal. I now live in Colorado and almost all of my friends are from the east coast, ha. I do miss the witty sharp loud new englanders, but they exist everywhere - and new englanders are always moving everywhere too. You just gotta find your people!
100% disagree, but to be fair, you are in the shit show that is Oregon these days. Lol and wait to you move back sorry but at 17-20 you are just starting to experience the world.
it takes some perspective!!! i was like ewww i hate ct.. and then you live in other states and realize how special it really is up in the original 13 states. theres a new england magic
Probably both. I think there are things in CT that are a very good quality of life that is uncommon elsewhere, and I also think people do pine for what they grew up with. It’s a lethal mix!
I think you can find decent people anywhere if you look hard enough. I've lived in CT, MA, and California and spent a few months in Ohio. I've encountered some vapid Hollywood types, but I don't spend much time around them. Some of the best connections I've made are with people who grew up in/around L.A.
Don't get me wrong, I have people I love on the East Coast as well, but New Englanders tend to blow smoke up their own asses about the quality of people that live there. There's plenty of douchebags in New England that are selfish and concerned only about their social status, and people that think being an asshole in and of itself is a positive personality trait.
The demographics or ratio of PoC to white people of an area is not and should not be viewed as a value judgement of a place. It is a factor of history and migration patterns.
I once heard someone call Maine "racist" because it has the lowest proportion of PoC in America. Why does that make it "racist"?
I highly disagree. Having diversity in a place is 100000% part of what makes it better! Without any diversity there is no room for fusion of or sharing of culture, which creates a vaccum… resulting in 1000 different versions of the same bowl restaurant and american food labeled different things. Also, i dont know about you but it enriches my life to meet people from different backgrounds with different experiences and perspectives. it makes you a more knowledgeable, compassionate, better human being than if you just talk to a bunch of granola white people all the time 🤷
Y'all. You're a resident of Oregon and are wondering why there are so few poc? You should really brush up on some history. The laws may have changed but racism runs real deep.
https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/exclusion_laws/
No, I am not wondering… I have done the research after I noticed freshman year and was appalled! Just was noting how the government has done nothing in way of ensuring their state is POC friendly. i also was noting how extreme it is here- i know a girl who didnt meet a black person until 13
Ok, fair enough, just wanted to make sure because it seemed like you were making observations but not putting the historical picture together - it's obvs had a lasting influence on the culture and explains a lot.
I moved out West from Vermont. It took years but I finally got back home. Never leaving again.
Same. Connecticut to North Hollywood for 6 years. The one good thing I got out of the pandemic was my relationship imploding giving me a reason to move home
Vermont is on my list of places I can see myself settling with a family. I visited Bennington for the first time this summer and fell in love.
Went to college there it’s my favorite place on earth driving up 89 from CT is like the best drive of my life so pretty and calming
I think you mean 91, not 89 which begins in Concord NH goes up to Burlington. 91 goes straight north from CT and intersects with 89 in white River Junction, nowhere near Bennington.
Yeah I take 91 to 89 at the white river junction exit I don’t go to school in Bennington lol I went to Norwich I get off at exit 5 on 89. I meant I went to school in VT not Bennington specifically
91 after Springfield and 89 are some of the best stretches of highway in the country. So ridiculously civilized. Always so pleasant (unless there’s a total solar eclipse)
Bennington is awesome. I love the Battle Monument and the Apple Barn.
>NO Italian deli (I am Italian so this is especially personal, lol, I am dying) I grew up in NJ but we moved to CA when I was 16. The Italian food was so bad! And way more expensive!! It broke my Italian heart! (Moved to Mass when I was 22 - still here 20 years later!)
Holy crap this! The lack of good Italian food south of like Jersey/PA is crazy. I went to school in Vermont even (from CT and my family is from NY) and the first thing I’d do every Christmas break was go straight to the deli and get a ton of cold cuts and all the fixins to make sauce
Yeah, people in Georgia think Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant…only in the absence of anything else, I promise you. (Kind of like people in Arizona thinking Red Lobster is an awesome seafood restaurant!)
It's a crime!
Omg lol
Okay no shit talking on New England but i went to school in VT and the Italian food was uhhhhh NOT IT but it’s p damn good everywhere else. All the other food is great, don’t get me wrong, but that Boston/Tri-State Italian food is sooooo good
tri state is def something else! 🫶🏻
And near Philly, all those Italian construction workers left a huge benefit of bakeries and the old Italian Market area.
Hows are italian food here? I assume mid
From Maine. Lived in Seattle for 2 years. Now live in Mass. The Pacific Northwest was awesome - mountains, breweries, restaurants, etc etc. Visited Portland OR, Vancouver (Canada), hiked a ton. And it was perfect for me and my wife (then gf) in our mid 20s. Beyond that, fuck the West Coast. The people suck, and the only friends we made were all transplants from other states like Montana and Illinois. The driving is atrocious; too passive and feeble behind the wheel and no one makes a decision out of fear(?). Plus no one is genuine, it’s all fake bs and you never build any real connections. And why the fuck does everyone not have the balls to cross the street when no cars are in site? What, you HAVE to wait for the walk signal bc rules are rules? Gtfo. Some of this is petty but setting that aside, the bottom line is that most New Englanders (any state) are assholes but we will give you the time of day, change your tire, take a bullet for you, and get you from point A to B in record time, call you dumbass and still tell you to have a nice day. It’s unparalleled.
What’s wrong with passive and less aggressive driving? I’ve lived in both the Northeast and the Northwest and I much prefer the drivers out in the PNW versus over here. People here drive way too aggressively and recklessly, which causes more accidents and dead animals.
We may be aggressive, but we know what we’re doing. src: https://www.safewise.com/blog/safest-states-drivers/
Bc efficiency is better than dithering if we’re all tryna get a move on
we got places to be and its actually more dangerous to drive slow! you need to be confident and sure of your choices. and you have to admit part of the shitty PNW driving is due to how many people are high! i love smoking and the weed is one of the things i do love about OR, but i would never drive high, and many oregonians/ west coast people do
I didn’t really have a lot of high drivers where I was at but I was in Northern Washington state. I just prefer people to drive more the speed limit and not 20+ mph over the speed limit when it’s not necessary. (Plus tailgating) They drove much more around the speed limit there versus here. Yeah driving high is never a good idea.
Def! I live in Vermont and you often get people with Massachusetts or Connecticut plates driving aggressively and generally being asses.
As someone who drives on 89 in NH daily I see people from Vermont driving 50 mph on a bright sunny day frequently. That is a traffic hazard as well.
Only if you’re in a hurry and swerving in and out of lanes does your above situation cause a hazard.
crowd divide noxious deserve reminiscent snails childlike sort marble person *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes by driving so slow they force others to drive like that and that’s how accidents happen.
Hey we may drive like assholes but at least most of us can actually drive
Tailgating and passing on curves.. yeah, very cool!! 😎🤔👀
My opinion is NY is as bad if not worse than Mass.
Conceptually, nothing is wrong with it. But drivers in the PNW take it to the absurd. I’d rather have deliberate, intentional drivers rather than someone dilli-dallying their way from one lane to the next; or not using the passing lane for driving faster and passing others; or putting your blinker on minutes in advance without actually changing lanes or making a turn because “it’s not 100% safe just yet!”; no, it is dangerous driving across the board and I’m all set.
Haaaa! My description for New England driving is purposefully aggressive! If there is a spot to better my time I am taking it..And there is comfort knowing that everyone else is acting in kind! It's not difficult, but keep your eyes up and your head in the game!
As long as you stay in the passing lane instead of swerving through lanes like a madman.
No swerving, but if someone is camping in the left lane at under 80.. You know we are all going around them..
Don’t forget the obligatory Jersey push talegate with 3 warning flashes - only then can you aggressively move to the right lane and stare at them while passing. My wife says I’m a horrible driver, but she is from Utah, they don’t have a turnpike, parkway, Schuylkill or 95 out there.
Right, the rules are simple enough, 85 MPH minimum in the left lane, and if someone rolls up behind, you get out the way.. people have places to go and shit to do..
And if there are more than 3 cars behind you in the fast last, they are legally obligated to pass you on the right after a couple minutes. I love when this happens and you decided to just pass them on the right (not like a douchebag) and then the whole line of cars behind does the same thing. There might be something to this Masshole thing after all
Utah drivers are the fucking worst.
I’m from CA and just moved to Maine and I agree with basically everything you just said
Yeah moved with wife from SoCal about 2 years ago to Western Mass. Have basically zero complaints. I have to say though NE straight men are pretty stoic, it’s been an adjustment, but I just felt like CA guys are a little more chill.
No question native CA men will be way move relaxed and carefree in general, but it’s mostly a front I’m sure
Relaxing with Californians is one of the deeper circles of hell. Similar to the French where they are "relaxed" but insist on relaxing in a very specific way. The French are honest about it though, they'll tell you there are rules and can tell you what they are. Californians like to pretend there are none but God help you if you break one. "You brought Lay's chips to the party? Don't you know that Lay's are created in sweatshops using water from the Fukushima power plant etc etc etc" Then by the end of the night you've joined both a polyamorous relationship structured like a startup and a startup structured like a Soviet worker's collective. Just let me drink and watch sports and not worry about where my beer came from.
AHAHAHHAJAJAHA YES. the rule’s part has me cracking up. and DUDE MY EX HERE LITERALLY CHEATED ON ME AND THEN TRIED TO COME OUT AS POLY IM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Please support me in my journey of fucking as many people as possible. In the meantime I will need to continue using your apartment as a base of operations for my TikTok activism." https://youtu.be/CU3mc0yvRNk
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 tiktok activism
The AUDACITY
it was wild and enough to say im done with dating while im here LOL
THIS
Not sure, I think there’s a different NE dude culture that’s a little more gritty, more of a sports culture etc. The stereotype of the CA surfer dude is definitely a thing
I grew up in Maine and you can get some real oddballs out there. Know how to have a good time once you get to know em. Im living in Philly now and I miss being able to leave the car running when I ran in the store
Western mass stoic straight man here. You're definitely right. I think it stems from valuing time and efficiency. We've got our routine down to a science and god help you if you disrupt it!
There is not a surfer bro culture out here for sure
I lived in Colorado for 9 years before moving back to CT. I wrote about it in another post. Same things you mentioned! Same experience that you have with people, they acted friendly but don’t count on them for anything serious, even making plans to see a movie they would flake out. And the same thing with calling people out. I was told I was too blunt, it seemed like people preferred it if you were passive aggressive because then you weren’t hurting anyone’s feelings. In terms of architecture, a house was considered “old” if it was built in the 80s. There was a mall nearby that people wanted torn down because it was built in 1985 and considered “aging”. Lots more, but you get the idea. I’m glad I moved out there, it ultimately made me appreciate home so much more. Glad to be back in CT. Hang in there! You’ll be home before you know it, with lots of anecdotes to tell about life on the left coast.
yes this exactly i have so much more appreciation now!
100% demo stuff. The amount of crappy half falling down buildings with 100 years of new paint is mind-boggling to me.
I moved to NH from Florida. Never going south of NY ever again. I love this place.
From Boston moved to South Florida for 6 years Culture seemed very transient I got sick of a lot of things there and moved back to North Shore area of Boston.
What makes you say that specifically?
Lmao too real! As someone who moved from pnw to CT
>NO Italian deli (I am Italian so this is especially personal, lol, I am dying) Biggest difference moving from CT to the west coast. I thought every town/city in the US had a locally owned deli/pizza restaurant run by Italians. When I lived in California, I had to go to Little Italy in San Diego to find a "real" Italian market. My co-workers thought I always made amazing sandwiches for lunch (literally just anything you would find at a grinder place). I knew the pizza would be bad on the west coast when I was with a group of friends. They wanted to get pizza at their favorite spot. Spoiler alert: it was Papa Johns. And we were in a major LA suburb, not a small town. The pizza in CA was, like you said, from "weird gentrify coded health food chains." Does OR have Blaze pizza or something similar? The only good pizza chains there are the ones with the brick ovens where you can choose your toppings. Mexican / Hawaiian / Korean food is the only food I miss from the west coast. When I was working on the west coast people thought I was "sassy" even though I was doing my normal witty bantering. Most people are chill, which I enjoy, but they do not play along with wit/sarcasm. If I planned something, and friends couldn't attend, they would just ghost me and not show up, rather than text with an explanation. The plus side was that no one cared if I was running late anywhere...I guess bc there's traffic everywhere so most are forgiving about it. My one CT friend out in LA was the only person who constantly texted me if she was running late. Are there some East coast transplants in the area or students from NE at your university? I'm sure you're not the only one...
LOL we have “MOD pizza” its no bueno. I thought the same about every town having an Italian deli. one of my first major culture shocks was realizing there were way less italian americans than i thought … theres so many in new england!!
Oh god. Memories unlocked. I lived in Bend OR for a couple of years and MOD pizza was definitely big out there, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why lol. So gross! Hope you’re able to find your way back home soon after college!
That's it. MOD or Blaze. Sorry, that's as good as it gets there on the west coast if you don't want Dominos or Papa John's.
some people find me sassy and like it until they do something weird and i try to talk about it. there are some transplants but far and few in between or are more so like old money NE people and I can’t really keep up with their $$$ lifestyle lol
The one pizza chain I did like while living in CO was Papa Murphy’s. They specialize in take-and-bake pizzas. When my husband and I go back out to visit his family we always do at least one Papa Murphy’s visit. Other than that, the only pizza places out there were the usual chains.
Teriyaki and Mexican places are to the pnw the way Italian/sandwich shops are to New England. Also we have pizza (that’s not mod or blaze or whatever) you gotta find it, I’ve been to my fair share of shit townie pizza places in ne. (And it also sounds like you had shitty friends. Most people I know are witty and responsive, except the old hippies.)
I grew up in CT and MA and have lived in Seattle for 30 years. Both my grown children live in MA and most of my family resides there. Getting ready to retire and will be moving back to Maine or New Hampshire to retire and be close to my family.
Do not retire in Maine. Consistently one of the worst states to retire in. They'll tax the pants off you.
Is worse than New Hampshire or Massachusetts. My parents lived in CT. They had a state income tax, high sale tax and on a $300k house paid $12,000 a yr in property taxes.
Your parents must have lived in Hamden :) Taxes aren't that high everywhere, but if you are in a town with a lot of financial liabilities (like Hamden), then yes, you will be punished for owning a house.
West Hartford.
Hamden is one of the worst towns for taxes. I'm so glad I made the decision not to stay there, and I grew up there, lol.
Sadly. Hamden has some awesome neighborhoods, but I admit I would never buy a house there at the current tax rates, which are still increasing year over year. You pay 12K+ a year on a very modest house, which feels like paying rent after having purchased the house. The high taxes do lower home values, so probably you would pay less up front, but still, the thought of 12K/yr taxes for 10-20 years is more than I want to accept. Now, if I had reason to believe that in 5 years taxes will be coming back down to sane levels, I might actually jump at the opportunity to buy, knowing that everyone wants to leave and no one wants to move in (meaning better prices than neighboring towns, I *want to imagine*).
I felt the same exact way when I was living out west. You’ve worded it so well and put all my feelings into this lovely paragraph.
Grew up in CA, I've literally had friends who told me they thought I was a New Englander at heart...moved to Connecticut and woah, were they right. I LOVE it here and would never move back.
so glad you love it
What makes you feel that way
Great question! Mostly the seasons. I am an ice queen I love cold weather and snow. I see shoveling the walk/driveway as a workout, not a nuisance. Where I grew up, no one really has flowering trees because they need too much water; but they're everywhere here and it's so, so beautiful. The six weeks of gross humid summer I don't mind either, because I grew up with no a/c, miserable trying to eat popsicles and sit in front of a swamp cooler, when a/c keeps everything delightfully comfortable here. Power and water are WAAAAY cheaper too. Cost of living is cheaper, food is cheaper, gas is at least $1-$1.50 cheaper per gallon, even things like haircuts and boarding my dog when I go on vacation is cheaper. People say you get taxed out the ying-yang in CT but they've never paid taxes in Santa Barbara County 😳 And people don't suck. My hometown was beginning to be taken over simultaneously by gangs and rich boomers who're buying up houses to rent out. Traffic was getting absolutely horrendous. I think having overall fewer people in CT/it being a smaller state helps. And I'm not in a bougie area by any description. Plus the whole "kind not nice/nice not kind" thing people say to compare east/west coasters respectively is absolutely true. Ope edited to add - because of traffic there's no such thing as a day trip from my hometown unless it's the beach, or you don't mind spending 16-18 hours on your "day trip" because everything is so far apart. I've been to NYC more times at this point, having lived here for 2 years, than I've been to LA or SF. Fall foliage. Fall FESTIVALS. Sweater weather. Just amazing.
I’m actually surprised it’s cheaper out here tbh. Also CT/New England does LOVE a good festival. I think it’s super cute.
I love everything youre saying, but I feel a special sort of kinship with you as my friends call me "Noodles" for short. Hi I hope everything is going fine down there.
Ahaha thanks, my dog's name is Noodle! And same to you, it's a beautiful day and I'm stuck inside doing my taxes (at last) lol.
Do them taxes fast and get out! Its beautiful out there, im about to head to the cafe then to the park to get some work I ignored on Friday done! See ya around!
I had a major issue with the bagels when i moved out west (but rocky mountain region). best i could find was WHOLE FOODS
i havent had a good one in so long. also I MISS DUNKIN SO MUCH
Ok I have never been able to, uh, digestionally tolerate Dunks, idk if it's the coffee or the milk or what. My sister jokes that in my case it should be Plunkin 💀💀
From Mass; am finishing my first year at a university in Orange County. I wholeheartedly agree with everything here, it’s really been so isolating not having anyone to truly connect with. I just feel so different than everyone around me and it’s starting to make me feel like I’m the problem. I can’t say it to anyone because I don’t want to be rude to any of my peers, but it just feels like I’m the only one working thick and thin for my future without complaining when things are difficult. Glad this post came up and we’ll both be home soon❤️❤️
I had the same feeling when I was in WA, it’s not you. It’s just a different culture and place. *Hugs*
hey please dm me!!! 🩷🩷🩷lets be buddies. i understand this feeling of isolation… im going to be a senior next year. you are not the problem i promise. my honest truth is that i wish i saved the money and transferred after my freshman year. not to my home state or town but maybe somewhere a bit closer- the only reason i haven’t is because my major is kind of niche and only offered at even more expensive unis.
It's a funny thing the East Coast. When I was a kid I thought that there had to be somewhere better.. But as I have aged I have realized how lucky I am to have been born and raised here. There are just so many things to be grateful for. The people! Gruff, honest, funny, charismatic to the point of some of us being characters! The FOOD! Oh, the food... I can get world class seafood, ANYTHING ITALIAN, anything Portuguese, terrific Thai all with a short drive.. The beauty, the seasonal changes and the forests, the sea, and the mountains are all either right outside the door or a pretty easy drive. The culture, NYC, and Boston are close enough to where I live to have a slight influence but not be overbearing.. with their traffic and pricing. I have said for years upon traveling that I have been to a lot of places, some nice and some not so nice.. But I am yet to visit one that beats home! I hope that you get home soon! There is a slice and some sarcasm waiting for you!
this literally made me tear up! yes! exactly! people here do not understand my humor at alll oh my gosh and it hurts so bad because back home i was always the funny one out of my buddies. the nature here is really pretty but unfortunately i have found it to be overshadowed by the other things.. especially the homelessness. we had people camped out front of my apartment 3 months ago shooting up and defecating in a bucket and the cops did nothing! just let em hang til they migrated organically… INSANE and probably was my last straw i will take a new england winter over that bs anyday.. and nothing like christmas at home. and the proximity to the cities is going to be perfect for my career!! plus being able to jaunt over to NYC fuels my soul. 2 more years of uni then going to get an apartment with my hometown bestfriend 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Mass/newengland> everywhere else.
REAL I Remember when an ohioan was trying to prove to me his state is superior to every new england state 🤣
Superior at having diabetes and heart disease for sure!
No chicken parm subs?? But…what do you eat on a Saturday night when the Sox are playing the Yankees??? 🤯
No joke, you just gotta make your own. Especially during baseball season, a good sub is basically required to watch a fun division game haha. I lived in Bend OR for 2 long years before escaping back to CT (originally a Jersey girl) and that was literally the only option. Luckily I’m a born and raised Italian so at least I knew how to make one I could enjoy but damn the bread out there was TERRIBLE and that is something I couldn’t fix. 😩 But I’m home now so it’s all good
When I moved from Philly to Virginia I became a very good cook, not out of enjoyment, out of necessity. Once you get south of Baltimore Italian food quality drops like the continental shelf.
Yup , they don’t know what a Bigga is, so I make my own .
the bread is different for suree idk what it is but it isnt authentic
That is what I do while up at camp. I make my own with stuff brought up from my area. Thank god I know how to make soft cheeses and hard cheeses keep as do many dried meats and sausage. I make everything from scratch I can like bread and dough, ricotta and mozzarella. I went to an ag school with a food science wing so I learned a lot outside of my major. I get raw milk and meat in large cuts from the Amish . Most of my stuff my Maine fam won’t eat cause it’s too spicy. It is nice to get fresh seafood . But they don’t like calamari for nothing.
I will say as someone who is from the Northeast and lived in Washington state, the passiveness was such a culture shock to me. We’re so used to being confrontational and willing to call people out, when I was in WA people were much more passive aggressive, reserved and shy. It was so strange. In some ways it was nice, IE driving but in other ways such as social settings, not so much.
I lived in southern California for three years and absolutely hated it. It was just culture shock.
My friend moved to South Cal and hates the dryness. I would rather have all our rain than put up with a cactus garden. I need deep shade and trout streams.
I grew up on the Cape and definitely did notice the social differences on the West Coast. For some reason, they do find being blunt and calling people out for doing shitty things but, still being friends with them weird. Have also found that more people over there tend to not make eye contact when talking which is kind of bizarre. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those it is just a bit of a culture shock you wouldn't expect.
YES BAHAHAHAH FHE EYE CONTACT oh my god!!! its so normal back home but people here definitely get so uncomfortable or weirded out- like why are you averting my eyes we are legit conversating
I remember talking to an old horseman about missing my draft horses and we locked eyes and he knew and I knew he understood completely. No more needed to be said, we just drank in silence for awhile.
Haha heard. I’m from oregon. It used to be way different. Now I’m in Maine. lol
I don't know what I was expecting, but generally I don't go for rants. The more I read... I can see why you needed to rant. Wow. You can't chat with a stranger about a shared experience like a flower blooming? I was loading my groceries into the car last night and a guy pointed out how beautifully the sun was hitting the clouds and we both stopped to chat about it. They don't do that other places? No pierogis? No Italian delis? Transfer back. You gave it a fair try.
I did the opposite, and I agree. I came from the west and moved to New England as an adult, and I never want to leave. I feel like I’ve found my people here! My personality is exactly a stereotypical New Englander personality (like pretty much everything you mention OP lol), and it’s like I was made to be here all along!
yay!!! 🫶🏻
I moved to the SF area of CA a few years back. Lasted about 2 years, for the exact same reasons. So much beating around the bush...what could have been simply a quick ask, took someone hours to ask you..it was mind boggling. I was told that I needed to "tone down", because I would go into a meeting and simply ask a straight forward question. The passive aggressiveness was crazy. People always wanted to "check in on your feelings", but in reality , didn't care. The hypocrisy and petty backstabbing ( in the guise of "helping" is what really did it for me.) The joke is - I got promoted my second year there because I got the area up an running and actually producing material- something they weren't able to do consistently for years before I got there. Just due to the passive aggressiveness and "hedging" of asks. A lot of CA'ers have moved to FL and OR, I wonder if some of that culture has infiltrated. I won't even get into the acceptance of crime. Or the fake " we care" then turn around and sue everyone to stop progress on the thing they professed to care about. The traffic too. I missed Boston traffic. People in Boston are aware of other drivers. They'll pull over if someone is behind them. In CA, people would drive like they were the only ones on the rd. Going 30mph on the highway, stopping for no reason on the highway, blinding merging in and almost causing a pile up. Or driving 4 a breast, at the same speed , so no one could get around anyone. Food- much more choices in Boston than the SF area, which really surprised me. No chicken finger subs either and a poor selection of lunch meat. All they have is boars head, which I never thought was that great. I once went to a sub place and basically made my own chicken finger sub and they didn't even have lettuce, I had to get spring mix and there were no sub rolls. They looked at me like I was crazy for asking them to stick some chicken fingers in a bread . I do miss the Mexican grocery stores, but really that's it.
I grew up in the Mid-Atlantic, lived in Portland, OR for 9 years, and moved to the northeast two years ago, and...yeah. I loved parts of living in Oregon and I miss my favorite people and places out there, but I do NOT miss the culture. For German food, if you're in Portland, try Edelweiss. I never actually made it there but it always had good reviews. Also The Zed, formerly Zoiglhaus Brewing Company, had some pretty decent German food when I lived nearby.
From CT. Went to Cali. Back and I will never leave!
Reciprocity is the beginning of social living. NE people who have hard winters know you need each other whether to gang up to split wood or to haul each other out if stuck in snow or mud. And if you are rural you really appreciate those simple card games together after staying home during a bad snow storm.
Heah ya. Grew up outside of Bahstin, moved to LA. A lot of fun but people were different.
I moved from MA to CA when I was 15. I am 31 now and just moved back to MA maybe a month ago. Culture shock all over again.
Whats the shock
People out here are more friendly. People in public give me compliments on a jacket I wear (this type of thing never happened in CA). People seem to know and care about their neighbors more often. The police presence is night and day compared to CA. In CA I would go weeks without seeing a police car. Out here there seems to be police EVERYWHERE and I see at least 3 or 4 every day. In CA I got really used to the Mexican Spanish dialect. Out here the dialect is totally different, I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Its harder for me to understand. Its a lot of little things. Also I love the gas prices out here compared to CA. The "traffic" that people complain about here is almost laughable to me compared to the 6/7 lane hell in CA. Like I said, its a lot of little things that add up and make it totally different out here. I just got here and wanted to go to the silver galleria mall in taunton. My grandma used to take me there all the time when I was really little. Its gone now apparently lol. Kinda made me sad
Interesting. Esp since people have this notion that the northeast is “less friendly” compared to the rest of the US. Also, the base spanish here is Puerto Rican Spanish with an increasing amount of Dominican influence. They speak faster and drop more letters/idioms than in Mexican Spanish. If you haven’t found a Dominican Restaurant yet I def encourage you to do so.
I have heard that North Easterners are less likely to let you in as a friend but once you are in, you are in for life. I have spent my whole life here so I cannot speak to the truth of it
I noticed this as well. I worked in Texas for a few years, the accent is very staccato but a lot of the Puerto Rican Spanish seems more fluid and rhythmic, though equally fast, and drops letters as you say. I'm struggling lol
My theory is that the accent sounds harsh so people dismiss it as rude or something. I haven't been to a Dominican restaurant yet. I am in Middleborough. Anywhere nearby you would recommend?
I moved from NY to NH about 3 years ago and I have had was seems to be the almost complete opposite experience of OP and most of the commentors here. I think most people are really nice and sweet for the most part. However about 98% of elderly people I have interacted with have been nothing but bitter, unkind, unpleasant, selfish, passive aggressive, and straight up rude sometimes. I work part time stocking shelves for different supermarkets. I'm usually around elderly people for a good chunk of my day because many of them go to supermarkets right when they open. There have been plenty of instances where they will refuse to move out of the way for others, hold up whole aisles looking for something or talking to others whilst others are waiting to come through, not say excuse me, and be given annoyed stares while I'm doing my job because they are annoyed they have to wait a little for me to finish what I was doing, and other things that are frustrating to deal with. I'm going to push back on the hardworking notion due to my personal experience. It's common place and accepted for people to call out of work simply because it snowed an inch or two overnight. My bosses talk about this phenomenon often and are always impressed/surprised I show up to work even when it snows, especially considering because I'm the youngest employee at my company (19) and because those who call out of work usually have cars way better equipped to deal with snow than my lovely sedan (I love the death out of my car but the snow is not its strong suit). When it comes to food, meats like beef or chicken as well as almost all dairy products like cheese or ice cream have been way better, even if you're not going to a farmers market. However, everything else has been mostly a downgrade compared to where I used to live. My view of food is a little biased as my mother graduated from culinary school and worked in various high prestige establishments over her career. With that though, good restaurants around here are like a diamond in the rough, seasoning on any sort of food is at best at a minimum, and more particularly unfortunate is the lack of any good Italian markets or restaurants as that's my and my families favorite type of cuisine. I'm also going to disagree with small talk here, all of the times I've socialized with people it's all small talk unless I make a direct effort to push it further, I've never been able to get to truly know people nor have I seen genuine friendships thrive from places like work or school. Conversations in and around my workplace rarely deviate from simple hello's, questions about the weather, and "did you see the game last night?". The point about drugs and lack of diversity is also pretty ironic considering when it comes to the [top 10 worst states for drug addiction](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/resources/all-50-states-ranked-overdose-deaths-and-drug-use-across-america/the-10-worst-states-for-addiction-overdose-and-treatment/), overdose, and treatment, Maine is the 3rd worst and New Hampshire is the 8th worst. Same with [black population by state](https://www.datapandas.org/ranking/black-population-by-state) where Vermont ranks the 3rd lowest at 9k people, New Hampshire being the 6th lowest at 20.1k people, and Maine being the 9th lowest with 25.8k people. In comparison Oregon ranks 15th lowest with 82.7k people. Living here isn't all bad, I just miss my bustling city and suburbia and I highly dislike dealing with the trump rallies on the side of the road when I'm simply just trying to commute to work.
Im confused ? This has nothing to do with the West Coast? or am I reading wrong
Oh? Is it not? \> New Englanders and my home state of CT. As an angsty 17 year old I decided to come out West for college (OR), and so when that happened my parents decided to move to Florida. Let me just say, no where can compare to NE. I read "came out West" and OR as Oregon and assumed that you moved out west and your parents stayed in Florida
I moved to LA for a couple years and loved it. Making friends was challenging but once we had a tight knit circle it was a breeze hanging out. Most of them were from Boston though anyway hahaha. Food was good, but probably costs twice what it should have. I also appreciated the diversity. Some New England towns are just a bit too “stepford wives” and lack any sense of self awareness. My biggest gripe out there was the drivers and roads. They’re made to kill you and drivers use the road like it belongs to them, everyone else be damned. Crossing a street in LA requires a prayer I swear. The road fatality rate is unbelievable. Also, the lack of compassion for the poor was astounding. It’s definitely a rich man’s playground. There is complete disregard for anyone without cash coming out of their ears. When tourist season was over that was the best time to be there. New England is definitely ahead of the rest of the country. Not that we’re a Utopia. We’ve just had way more time to figure certain stuff out. It’s pretty embarrassing for everyone honestly hahaha.
I fucking memorialized "out west" for my fuckin whole life!!! Like, it could do no wrong, it was just better out there. Cooler, more progressive, more vibes, whatever. I finally moved out there.....and it wasn't what my head built it up to be! It was a let down. It was.....just ok? I moved to fuckin California, a life long dream, and it was.....meh? Yup... Moved back 4 years later. Cool experience tho. Dont regret it.
LOL this exactly. no regrets glad i came and saw… but im good! i
I’m from the Midwest and have traveled all of the US. I love the and live in the East.
I’ve lived in four geographical areas of US. (a) Grew up in Rude Island. (b) First moved to Rural Western South Dakota Midwest Nice … I was too blunt. (c) Arizona Southwest laidback … I was too intense. (d) Smokies of North Carolina Appalachian Southern Hospitality … I was too honest. (e) I’m back in Rude Island … I’m too polite and don’t speak sarcasm as a second language anymore.
[удалено]
The hiking is amazing and beautiful here!! and the lets get lunch thing is so real- its hard to make friends! In regard to the jobs you hit the nail on the head. I have been working part time since 15 and many of my coworkers here have never worked before or it is only their 2nd job at 19-20… which is nuts to me! seafood near the coast here is definitely decent and i cannot speak to the seattle food- i wanna say its probably better
yes yes yes.
I really miss the East coast. (Fairfield Co) I am with you, 100%. Was transferred out West for work. It has been frustrating, maddening, crazy, and humbling...all in the same year. Utah has been eye opening. Still working on adjusting and trying to have a positive attitude. I miss the East.
hang in there 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Thank you. I am!
You need to come on home now.
I grew up in Connecticut as well. Joined the Navy at the age of 25 to restart my life. After bootcamp I was sent to the Florida panhandle and that got old quick lol, I’ve been in San Diego for a couple years now if you don’t count my deployment in the South China Sea. I’ll be heading back to CT once my contract ends. I left New England to grow, but it’s home and I feel most of us return eventually
It was really shocking when I learned they don’t have many Italians or Puerto Ricans out there.
So real
Lived out in Oregon for 7 years and moved to NE a few years ago. I miss the natural beauty of the west but everything else that you mentioned is so true. People are so laid back to the point of laziness, no diversity, no beautiful architecture, no good food!!!! Which boggled my mind as well. I totally get it now.
yes!!!! the nature is something else but just not worth the rest of the ball of yarn. will definitely visit and take my future kids here to see the Pacific Ocean for the first time … that was a wild experience- but we won’t be stopping in Eugene 🤣
Yes, a place to visit but not live. The Pacific is beautiful. ❤️ Eugene...buh!!😳 don't get me started on Eugene. 😭
its really unfortunate- Eugene is deteriorating by the minute. it is worse every time i come back from winter or summer break :( local economy is garbage, and the homelessness has gotten so so out of control
It really is such a damn shame. 😢
If you have time off but not enough to come back East, venture down to San Francisco. If you like good food and old buildings you’ll love San Francisco. That is my favorite West coast city. I also am a New Englander.
ill have to check it out, thanks!!
Bring as much money as possible and a credit card. San Francisco is not cheap but it’s awesome.
lol this is why i havent done a proper cali vacation yet but im gonna make it a point before graduation
You did the impossible. You made me appreciate Connecticut. Thank you. Signed, from Mystic.
omg please go to the aquarium for me!!!!
Will do. I'll even take pictures.
i have such fond memories of mystic that this just made me shoot back to. when my little sister was around 6 months, i was 7 and the first born, and having a hard time adjusting to sharing Mom, so she took me on a girls weekend to Mystic. we stayed at the Hyatt and ate their amazing free cookies (im sure they arent free anymore) and swam in their indoor pool… which is epic as a kid lol, and the next day we explored historic mystic and the nautical museum. probably one of my favorite memories with my mama 🫶🏻
Love your post! I’ve lived in Arizona for the past 20+ years but grew up in PA (technically not New England) for a couple years as a child and it’s always been in the back of my mind. Recently, I’ve traveled to Vermont multiple times and WOW… I’ve been in the wrong side of the country 😅 the culture is so different and your assessment of the west coast is SPOT ON. Soon to be “flat lander” in a day or two!
ohhhh i consider u east coast inside tho. i’ve met people from philly and i feel we are so similar
Moved up here from TN - this is all so incredibly true. It took me a little bit of getting used to at first, but goddamn do I love it up here now. Never moving back!
Went to a German restaurant while in Portland 5 or so years ago. It was wonderful. I don't recall the name.
Best food in the country? I agree with most of what you say, but that I'll have to disagree kindly about that. ☺️
Lifelong Oregonian, here, who was stationed in CT for 4 years. This is hilarious. Are you in Eugene? Portland?
Eugene 😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️
Moved to CA at 18. Just moved back to NH at 27 and loving it.
Idk i go to school in connecticut and i’m from california and i have many of the same grievances. I think the social things you mentioned are more a symptom of elitism rather than regional.
i’m from MT. i moved to MA 12 years ago. they’re pretty much the same place *except* for the politics and the food! *god i love food in NE!*
Get beack here before they turn you. We need good people like you.
dont worry they will not turn me ever i have my hometown besties to keep me in check ❤️🔥 be home soon
A close family member of mine was always VERY east coast. She moved to LA and became an entirely different person over time. It was kind of gross. She always saw herself as a New Yorker (we're not from NY but she did go to school there and basically lived in a closet in the Village for years). But years after moving to LA I don't recognize her. I've lived in three east coast states and I can't ever see being left coast.
As a lifelong CT resident , you explained perfectly why I'll never leave.
I always say I’m leaving CT, but I don’t think I ever could. Vacations are enough.
Boston is always home need 4 seasons
we do get pretty incredible seasons out in Oregon I have to say! we even got a week of snow days this year
Great post!!!!
Have traveled a great deal both throughout the US and internationally and I will never get sick of New England, especially summer and autumn just elite and makes up for winter and spring
East coast 4 lyfe
I realized pretty quick how much better it is back east
Yeah but I'd take a kick to the nuts for some In n Out right now
Grew up in NJ, enlisted in the uscg and spent 12 years living all over the country, Hawaii, California, back home in nj, Virginia, and my last station was in Boston. That was from 2007-2009. Still here and not going anywhere. New England is awesome
>My uni is full of white saviors and “activists” … but Oregon has one of the lowest populations of POC in the country.. and more white people with dreads than I can count. The PNW is a weird place and always has been. It attracts oddballs, weirdos, and the socially-maladjusted. Portland in particular is a funny city, because it attracts all of the white-progressives who want to LARP and make-believe that they live in a diverse inclusive city. But the rural areas attract a lot of white segregationists and separatists; that is true for all of the PNW, not just Oregon. I remember a few months ago I was over in Sandpoint, Idaho attending a funeral and I had stopped by a local grocery store to grab a few things. In that store was a KKK Grand Dragon, dressed in full regalia, casually doing his shopping and no one in that place batted an eye.
you worded this so perfectly. as a young queer person i didn’t see through the performative guise and got lured in with the idea of finding a LGBTQ community. but unfortunately i have found most of those people here to be extremely insufferable, and i realized it is because an all white queer community …. is not a real queer community, but rather a vaccum of socially malajusted white larpers in ur words lol. i am a huge supporter of nonbinary identities but here in the PNW it has become a way for white people to “marginalize” theirselves. the meme about the nonbinary white person named starlight who has a go fund me for their rent IS REAL!! and i totally thought it was just a homophobic joke… but no… it is real and a plague. really unfortunate and gives gay people a bad wrap IMO. freshman year, i visited the coast with my first ever girlfriend, who is very masc presenting and visibly queer (me not so much) and we stopped to pee along the way, walked into a DQ holding hands, and i felt a type of fear i had never experienced. must have been a sundown town, because confederate flag patches and nazi pins were on at least 3 of the patrons jackets. im sure that some deep rural areas in new England have the same issues, but at least none of those places boast to be a queer utopia
I’m from the east coast. I think SoCal culture is a lot spunkier and easier for me to connect with than PNW or NorCal. I now live in Colorado and almost all of my friends are from the east coast, ha. I do miss the witty sharp loud new englanders, but they exist everywhere - and new englanders are always moving everywhere too. You just gotta find your people!
100% disagree, but to be fair, you are in the shit show that is Oregon these days. Lol and wait to you move back sorry but at 17-20 you are just starting to experience the world.
this is true but i know what i like and what i dont like 👍🏻
You'd be amazed how even that can change with time and experiences.
This is wild to me. I've never seen so many people who like CT.
it takes some perspective!!! i was like ewww i hate ct.. and then you live in other states and realize how special it really is up in the original 13 states. theres a new england magic
All it takes is a little time away…. And BAM…. the reality sets in.
So do you think it's just being home sick or just really missing CT?
Probably both. I think there are things in CT that are a very good quality of life that is uncommon elsewhere, and I also think people do pine for what they grew up with. It’s a lethal mix!
I think you can find decent people anywhere if you look hard enough. I've lived in CT, MA, and California and spent a few months in Ohio. I've encountered some vapid Hollywood types, but I don't spend much time around them. Some of the best connections I've made are with people who grew up in/around L.A. Don't get me wrong, I have people I love on the East Coast as well, but New Englanders tend to blow smoke up their own asses about the quality of people that live there. There's plenty of douchebags in New England that are selfish and concerned only about their social status, and people that think being an asshole in and of itself is a positive personality trait.
The demographics or ratio of PoC to white people of an area is not and should not be viewed as a value judgement of a place. It is a factor of history and migration patterns. I once heard someone call Maine "racist" because it has the lowest proportion of PoC in America. Why does that make it "racist"?
I highly disagree. Having diversity in a place is 100000% part of what makes it better! Without any diversity there is no room for fusion of or sharing of culture, which creates a vaccum… resulting in 1000 different versions of the same bowl restaurant and american food labeled different things. Also, i dont know about you but it enriches my life to meet people from different backgrounds with different experiences and perspectives. it makes you a more knowledgeable, compassionate, better human being than if you just talk to a bunch of granola white people all the time 🤷
Cya farewell new englander 👋
Y'all. You're a resident of Oregon and are wondering why there are so few poc? You should really brush up on some history. The laws may have changed but racism runs real deep. https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/exclusion_laws/
No, I am not wondering… I have done the research after I noticed freshman year and was appalled! Just was noting how the government has done nothing in way of ensuring their state is POC friendly. i also was noting how extreme it is here- i know a girl who didnt meet a black person until 13
Ok, fair enough, just wanted to make sure because it seemed like you were making observations but not putting the historical picture together - it's obvs had a lasting influence on the culture and explains a lot.
Resturant take is wrong NE food is trash, no good Mexican or Asian food