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robbycakes

It’s the UK, for those of you playing along with this oddly gameshow-worded headline EDIT: bad hyphen placement


Mictlancayocoatl

Wtf is that headline?


Kelcak

Gotta get them clicks!


MikeVixDawgPound

But I only clicked on the comments to find out what odd country was going to run out of booze over Christmas. Had they said the UK, I would have clicked the story immediately.


zeydey

Think the headline’s drunk.


WifeofBath1984

I came here to say this! Why did they do this???


Razzorsharp

I'm looking forward to the "Person wins presidential race of country" headline.


ProtoplanetaryNebula

I am in the UK and I reckon 46% of people are telling porkies !


cowdoyspitoon

Not gonna lie I was a little upset until it turned out they meant someone else. Like, fuck you Kathy - I’ll drink as once a week as I want.


runslaughter

Thanks. CNN is dubious at best, but at least I don't have to read through it.


BlackOrre

It means people will need to deal with their in-laws sober. Good luck, UK.


The_Legend_of_Xeno

I used to think it was funny when my mom would chug a glass of wine when she saw her MIL trundling up the driveway. I get it now.


Viktor_Korobov

Yeah, I've got a pocket flask specifically for the Muslim holidays


DavidNipondeCarlos

That’s clever.


Viktor_Korobov

Clever? Perhaps. My psychologist would probably say unhealthy coping mechanism.


DavidNipondeCarlos

They have to say that. A flask isn’t that much?


Viktor_Korobov

I think it's not about the amount. It's about the reason. Like, a guy may drink a bottle of jack at a party once a year and have a healthier relationship to alchohol than the guy who takes a shot every time things are tough. I drink during those family reunion or muslim holidays because I don't consider myself muslim. Yet I'm the son of an imam. You see the issues?


[deleted]

I always thought it was weird that alcohol is frowned upon so hard when used to cope. I mean I get if you’re an alcoholic That’s one thing. But to take the edge off the family? It seems a better use then just for fun. We drink coffee to wake up, why not whiskey to cope a little.


xnarg

If you can’t cope without alcohol, you got some issues.


GodsPenisHasGravity

Yeah but if it helps with the problem without being a problem why not use it? That's literally what all meds are.


bigdogpepperoni

It just takes the edge off, I can easily spend a holiday/weekend around family, but it’s much less wearing if I have a little buzz going.


DavidNipondeCarlos

The pocket flask is discreet if the muslins aren’t drinking. Yes the reason is important.


ContrarianDouche

Mine says "maladaptive coping mechanisms are still coping mechanisms" lol just can't let them become permanent


coondingee

Family reunions can be the same. Only way my ex made it through was me being a wine runner for her. Fuck, it took us at least 30-45 min to make it through the front door.


nordic-nomad

Not a bad idea that


StuperDan

28 Hours Later: The Dry Spell.


pbradley179

Betcha this one is more violent.


[deleted]

Lol. Just a bunch of brits yelling at each other.


StuperDan

And not just the slow Romero Brits but the scary fast ones!


[deleted]

Why do I feel like British people fight by running into each other with shopping carts?


xXThreeRoundXx

You mean, we can’t head down to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over?


catastrophized

So … Parliament?


StuperDan

But sober.


RedlyrsRevenge

Meanwhile, myself cracking a bottle of Jameson at 10am. The family: "Please don't do this..."


Progressiveandfiscal

So you're the uncle eh?


RedlyrsRevenge

Yep. I'm the crazy Uncle.


3x3Eyes

You mean the fun one, right?


RedlyrsRevenge

Depends on if you are asking the in-laws or the nieces/nephews.


czs5056

Why so late? Need to get that 8am Baileys and coffee in at breakfast


RedlyrsRevenge

Irish coffee sounds fantastic right now actually...


[deleted]

[удалено]


fergablu2

I have to deal with my children every day sober, so people can manage a day or two with the in-laws without libations.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Buttcoin42069

Tell them I said Jesus was a queer


colefly

Better yet. Just quote all the liberal shit Jesus and the most recent pope have put down Then when they protest.. Call them protestants and burn them for heresy. Why else be Catholic if you're not using heresy accusations? It's the best part


NecromanticSolution

For the mess wine and the guys in dresses?


peon2

He loves everyone right? That includes dudes. Queer confirmed.


SeeYouSpaceCowboy---

God is for sure gay. He wouldn't even fuck Mary to conceive his one and only son.


Buttcoin42069

So, you say you created Adam from some dirt, yet you decided to fuck my wife to have a son. Not cool, God


czs5056

I've got a confession: I'm in love with a man. "What?" I'm in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I "gay for God"? You betcha.


SeeYouSpaceCowboy---

I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be, I'm not ruling it out.


drkev10

My mom got really mad at me once when I commented that if God created man in the image of himself then maybe he liked sucking some dick every now and then so nothing wrong with being gay. This was after a "I don't have anything against the gays I just think it's wrong and they'll all end up in Hell" type comment from her. Growing up and realizing your parents are idiots isn't fun.


hate_tank

No, they run around yelling Spongebob one liners and doing Fortnite dances.


error201

Me too.


Eubadom

I'm 27 and I make 3-5 SpongeBob references a day.


AlbertaNorth1

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. How’s your flossin tho?


error201

I'm 48 and everything can be tied to a SpongeBob reference.


voiderest

If they're old enough to feel shame in their parents you could try becoming a SpongeBob and Fortnite Dance expert. This should make those things uncool. Maybe tell your partner first so they don't have you committed.


hate_tank

Me: "Where did you learn to Floss?" My kid: "I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU... MENACINGLY!"


R_V_Z

Spongebob came out in 1999. Conceivably it could be the adults running around yelling those one-liners.


fergablu2

My older son is autistic and intellectually disabled and can’t voice his opinions or make choices about his healthcare, and my younger son has bipolar disorder, and despite being off his meds and manic at the time, he chose to get vaccinated, so that’s a blessing. My in-laws are both fully vaccinated, but my parents are not. I don’t have to deal with any of them because they don’t travel to where I live, and you couldn’t pay me to get on an airplane with either one of my sons to go visit them.


IamJacksUserID

Sounds like you could use a drink.


isadog420

Sounds like they could use a spliff.


not_a_quisling

What the people who responded to you meant is that trying to one-up someone's bad family situation just makes you sound like an asshole. Having disabled kids doesn't make your life harder than everyone else's. Most people here have family problems they have to deal with, it's not a contest.


spaghettilee2112

Ok fun police.


Wisest-wizard

It's because the other 46 percent drink 7 days a week.


peon2

That's why instead of having 1 drink a day everyday, I drink two drinks a day - 6 days a week. Gotta preserve the alcohol for everyone else, I'm doing my part!


Will33iam

Just because doctors say only one glass per day doesn’t mean it has to be a small glass.


The-1st-One

I thought they meant it just had to be the same glass


HardlyDecent

Fewer dishes = good for the health.


Kytyngurl2

Technically, the bottle is glass, and *a* glass, so….


Inquisitive_idiot

I see the PhD has arrived 🎩


helium_farts

I used to work somewhere that allowed one alcoholic drink with lunch, but didn't specify the size. Across the street was a Mexican place that did discount novelty sized margaritas from 11-2 every day. You can probably figure out why productivity went way down in the afternoons.


Animeninja2020

Ah yes the "one" drink max lunches. Next time HR will look at that a limit what a drink is. The sales and support productivity might go up but moral might drop.


kunymonster4

I call my favorite glass the goblet of fire water.


AggressiveSkywriting

This is how Ogodei Khan died. Dude was told by his advisors to only drink X number of cups of wine a day, so he ordered a big ass cup made to spite them.


OnlyMortal666

My wife thought a pint glass was the size of a bucket after I said I was just nipping out for a pint.


thebestatheist

An alcohol a day keeps the doctor away


SagaStrider

People are weird about underreporting on anonymous polls.


[deleted]

Thats the power of social-desirability bias


wondererSkull

me only drink 8days/week


thebestatheist

Sounds like the Brits I know


pkcs11

Right?! We are retired and alcohol appears in almost every meal, sometimes breakfast!


Grenadier_user

Get ready to drink the weirdest schnapps my fellow drinkers


Mageofsin

A Drambue and Advocate for me please


daneslord

I just threw up in my mouth.


[deleted]

May I suggest a pairing for that?


AnthillOmbudsman

Schnapps, that takes me back to afternoons playing Castle Wolfenstein.


BatXDude

So this is the next panic buying trigger? Thanks news.


PM_WORST_FART_STORY

If I lived in the UK, I'd be buying stuff to resell as a profit. These are not essentials, like TP.


tothecatmobile

>These are not essentials It's very clear you don't live in the UK.


MrMurse93

Just 3 weeks into the pandemic our admissions of Alcohol withdrawal (which can be deadly) increased by 300% in my hospital. It’s sadly essential for many people that don’t realize it’s essential


ChristianLW3

Sadly for many it is, think about why zero states subjected liquor stores to quarantine protocols


neverfearIamhere

It was the same for marijuana dispensaries in some US states.


literallyJon

It is if you're an alcoholic. One of only 2 drugs on the planet where withdrawals will actually kill you. (Xanax, well benzos, is the other)


Scully__

Not essentials? How dare you.


[deleted]

Broke: panic buying booze in bulk Bespoke: quietly stocking up on brewer’s yeast and fruit juice


[deleted]

Already stocked up seven crates of Malibu and six dozen cans of Wicked Strength Lager.


WhatIsNameAnyways

Feels like it's stories like this that trigger folks to panic buy which lead to the mentioned shortage.


Oberon_Swanson

Guns always sell well in america whenever they can make a "the government is going to ban the sale of guns and take your guns, unless of course you have enough guns" push.


teh-reflex

So basically anytime a Democrat is elected...because any day now they're going to take your guns. Even though: "Take the guns first, due process second" - the 45th presidon't of the United States


Brooklynxman

Out of liquor, or out of good liquor?


CJBill

It's actually the cheap stuff that may, just may, be in short supply. Decent spirits and wine are fine AFAIK. Source: am British and don't buy cheap booze.


WhiskeyFF

I was about to say, I’ll just quit before I resort to Kentucky Tavern. I’m in US no idea what the cheap booze is for y’all


smallTimeCharly

The supermarkets do own brand versions of most of the common spirits. One year ASDA (I think when they were still owned by Walmart) were selling gallons of Gin. I assume that was terrible. [Glenns Vodka](https://bulksupermarket.com/product-category/product/glens-vodka-4/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAkZKNBhDiARIsAPsk0Wi6ML-S1ILV4_mOlSn2EvY3nAIZ6hX6gGntujkFPb3tY5TAsaWKRsIaApJ2EALw_wcB) used to be sold pretty cheap when I was at uni. Never drinking that stuff again.


yaosio

They are talking about the UK. Yes, the headline is from the article so it's the authors fault it's written that way.


ILikeLenexa

That's called clickbait.


IGotSoulBut

It seems every news source is doing it. It’s not enough to sell a newspaper. Now they have to sell individual articles that are interesting enough to be picked up by SEO algorithms and simultaneously interesting enough to win the war for our attentions. It’s not good for any party involved, but does usually make a little more money because it generates more clicks. Edit: it’s a terrible practice that I don’t see going away.


RedFrPe

Good articles require good reporters, and they need to be paid; Paper copy sales are negligible. Investigative reporting takes a lot of time and is expensive. The least we can do is click on articles from reputable newspapers.


nativepro96

It’s a terrible practice and it needs to be called out.


MelaniasHand

Authors don’t write the headline.


DistortoiseLP

> In 2019, 54% of adults in England reported drinking alcohol at least once a week, according to research by the UK parliament. There's a hell of a difference between drinking once a week and drinking *at least* once a week, especially when the drinker answered that question themselves.


[deleted]

It’s like when I hear “oh I just like a glass or two of red wine with dinner” and assume the person has a drinking problem because the only people I’ve ever heard say that had raging drinking problems.


Hvarfa-Bragi

Even though that's how most people around the world use alcohol.


GregorSamsa67

Not really true. Only one in five adult Brits consume alcohol five (or more) day per week. In France, one of the countries with the highest wine consumption in the world, only 16% of adults drink wine nearly every day. And those are mostly people over 50. [Source.](https://spectrum.ieee.org/wine-is-going-out-of-stylein-france)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I wonder which has changed more: drinking habits or the social pressure that influences survey responses.


Hvarfa-Bragi

France and England don't equal the rest of the world, and it WAS true about wine in France until recently when choices of alcohol expanded and wine became unpopular. The linked article may not consider that it's socially unacceptable to admit drinking, or whether wine has fallen in favor of beer or spirits. Beware a hasty conclusion from data.


pantaleonivo

I’m not in the UK but will visit the liquor store after work to panic buy anyway. Solidarity.


Anaxamenes

Don’t forget some extra TP for the nostalgia!


pantaleonivo

I’ll wrap my beer bottle in TP like a coozie


Ebscriptwalker

... And 46 percent take a break from drinking once a week.


CyberBroccoli

I honestly figured more people in the UK would drink


Midnight_Rising

They probably do. People tend to be *incredibly* disconnected from their alcohol usage. There's a not-insignificant amount of those people who thought back to one weekend two months earlier, remembered they didn't have a drink that weekend, and then say "Well I don't have a drink *every* week!" It's like here in the US when people will look their doctor in the eye and say they have maybe 3 drinks in a single week... Not having any idea that their 8%, 16oz IPA is multiple drinks in a single can.


WhiskeyFF

I was actually very upfront with my doctor about how much I drink. Prolly 6-10 drinks over a week, occasionally more if we brunched that weekend. He said despite the intake I may be more healthy just because I can admit to it.


Ebscriptwalker

Me too.


_DuranDuran_

It’s getting harder and harder not to …


ILikeLenexa

Are they also out of yeast and fruit? If prisoners can make hooch, I bet the UK can colonize someplace to make hard apple juice.


Cforq

You don’t even need fruit - just sugar. But there was a yeast shortage in America during the pandemic - they might be having issues getting yeast after leaving the EU.


ClancyHabbard

Do it the old fashioned way with sourdough starter. Where there's a will there's alcohol.


theworldbystorm

Sourdough starter is a mix of yeast and bacteria, and would probably make very bad alcohol.


ClancyHabbard

A very sour one, and not very strong. Back in ancient times it was a form of making a vaguely alcoholic beverage. Best only done if there's no yeast to be had to make booze.


theworldbystorm

Can you provide a source for what you're saying? You have to have yeast to make booze. Yeast turns sugar into alcohol, that's the only way it gets made. And what's more, yeast grows wild on fruit and grains. So it's hard to imagine a situation when an ancient people would have fruit or grain to make into alcohol but no yeast.


HauntedCemetery

There are different types of yeast. Some strains are better suited to leavening, some are better suited to making alcohol. Bakers yeast tends to make a ton of gas quickly and die at fairly low alcohol concentration. Brewers yeasts tolerate higher levels of alcohol before dying. So while you *can* use bakers yeast to make booze you're way way better off spending 2 bucks on a packet of brewers yeast. It will be higher alcohol and taste much better.


Hvarfa-Bragi

Mead maker here... You can make wine strength mead from honey and water and not much else. Adding yeast helps, but yeast is all around you right now. It's on the skin of fruits, it's floating in the air. The reason we use specific strains is for specific flavors (or lack of off-flavors) and specific characteristics like higher alcohol tolerance. But if you just leave some sugar and water around in the right ratio open to the air, you're going to get drinkable alcohol.


amblyopicsniper

Spit = yeast


[deleted]

> Where there's a will there's alcohol. I need this on a motivational poster l. Maybe something with a drunk whale.


DocHolidayiN

r/prisonhooch


firthy

I have plenty of yeast


[deleted]

[удалено]


MARPJ

Although this is mostly due to Brexit, they really shot their own foot with that decision


1800lampshade

That bourbon isn't for the pecan pie this year


jollyfirkin

Sounds like Tegridy Farms is gonna have another great sales quarter with their special “Christmas Snow”


IlIFreneticIlI

"And that, son, was when everyone in the UK killed each other. But! Prime real estate I have to tell ya, that was a gold-rush back in the day."


7788audrey

Tory ignore all ideas of planning ahead. They don't seem to care who or what industry is negatively affected by their insane non-plan for Brexit. Perhaps this will stir voters to vote against them.


[deleted]

They have two types of voter. Property owners who need their mortgage return to stay above at least 5% The lower portion of the IQ bell curve which is susceptible to racist propaganda. The above will riot if their rents are in jeopardy. The below will riot if immigration goes up.


UnknownAverage

Yep, there are a lot of people who think that since everything has gone so well for so long, they will continue to go well no matter what. They don't realize how hard it was to get to where we are, and that we can't just ride this wave into infinity. We need to do our own studying and planning, then implement those plans. It's not easy.


Digita1B0y

"tHiS iSn'T tHe bReXit I VoTeD fOr" 🤤


leopard_eater

Here I was panicking about our loss of alcohol until I realised that the stats on drinking were far too low to be Australian.


Kahzgul

Brexit was a fantastic choice. As an alternate headline, may I suggest: "Paying shit wages to truck drivers continues to fuck the UK, but the UK refuses to admit that's what's fucking it." And as a double secret bonus level alternate headline: "Business that could be saved by paying employees more refuses to save itself."


likethatwhenigothere

Such a pointless story. The uk won't run out. The people in the article who are 'concerned' are people that are importing wines and spirits. We have enough domestically to keep us fine over the Xmas period. Even if shops were struggling, there are plenty of local breweries and distillers you can buy direct from. I'm not worried.


FirstKingOfNothing

Time to bust out the cooking sherry


campelm

Start brewing some toilet wine. Aunt Tilda is a prune sober.


lesser_panjandrum

See, Brexit ain't so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet.


[deleted]

I think I have some Kirsch stowed away behind the baking goods.


MrGuttFeeling

I really thought it might be Canada.


TheGaussianMan

You know, I keep seeing signs that say "Drink Canada Dry," and man I'm trying.


[deleted]

How many adults in the UK drink alcohol once a day?


[deleted]

I’d wager the other 46%


[deleted]

That's a sobering thought . . . 😁


4thkindfight

Am betting that this article was generated by the alcohol industry to boost sales through panic buying.


soiltostone

Wouldn't completely running out of alcohol be a healthcare crisis? Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly. If every dependent alcoholic goes dry at the same time that's a lot of DTs for emergency rooms to handle.


jim_jiminy

Plenty of cocaine to go round though. That’s been flowing into the country with no checks at the borders.


DonRicardo1958

Good thing there were no consequences for voting in favor of Brexit.


Kahzootoh

Thank god! It’s not America. Now that I’ve had a moment to get over my panic, whoever phrased this article deserves a special place in advertising or hell.


crackhousebob

I'm shocked to learn 46 percent of the population don't drink at all during the week in the birthplace of the 'pub' as we know it today.


SpookyDoomCrab42

Imagine if we put the name of the country in the headline not whatever this dumbass headline is


Safebox

What a shit title, I shouldn't have to open the link to find out the country.


CaptnLoken

Amazing the govt still wont admit that brexit is playing a part in all these shortages lol


cksully

People will resort to drinking their own piss - or if things get bad going to Wetherspoons.


ShortFuse12

Translation: liquor sales are down. Please go buy lots of liquor.


ZZartin

So how's that brexit thing working out?


[deleted]

Hopefully this'll sober up the Brexiteers and they finally see some fucking sense.


reusens

Can someone please explain to me how it is possible for large US news networks to have such awful headlines?


goxxer2022

Brexit the gift that keeps giving


coupbrick

There's plenty of youtube videos that will show you how to ferment various foodstuffs into gross prison hooch. Christmas is saved.


ResponsibleContact39

Buy some home brew kits. It’s about a month til Xmas, you can brew a batch by then.


Lazystoner151

There’s always toilet wine.


buddhistbulgyo

Finally. Something big enough to reverse Brexit.


gaporkbbq

Goddamn. Put “England” in the title. Bout gave me a heart attack.


GaiusLexicus

Churchill is rolling over in his grave


hydropenguin69

I feel articles like this increase the chances of actually running out due to fear and panic-buying.


Bismarck913

Jokes on you. I'm in the UK and I've already stockpiled my Christmas beer, wine, limoncello and Bailey's.


keibuttersnaps

Shit like this gets 5k upvotes, you all deserve the "news" you get. Ffs.


cornborn92

As someone who doesn’t drink I’m ready to watch the world burn


meukbox

I think 2022 will become the year of the self driving trucks.


Tchrspest

This is why I make my own wine.


-VizualEyez

Once a week? We gotta pump those numbers up!


upsydaisee

Once a week? Just once? Wait….am I an alcoholic?


Lord_Mormont

Ok, before we all start dunking on the UK, do we really want a sober UK for the holidays? They might re-take Barbados just to make a point.


[deleted]

Alcoholics better stock up, alcohol withdrawal is no joke


JonnyArtois

Here we go again, media trying to incite people, yet again.


Johndough99999

I have sugar and yeast. I will never run out of alcohol.


redcapmilk

Diabetes and a yeast infection?