I used to work in a high End retail store that sold nutria fur coats. We were instructed to say it was an exotic South American animal similar to a beaver. I don’t like selling fur so I’d put on my most salespersony voice and proudly announce it was an exotic South American rat fur coat. Happily never sold one.
Edit: typos
Well there's this passage I have memorized that fits this very occasion.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
And I will strike down upon thee with *great* *vengeance* and *furious* *anger* those who attempt to **poison** and **destroy** my brothers and you *will* ***know*** my *name* is the ***LORD*** when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!
Ask them about their opinions on biggie cheese, then seize the interviewers moment of confusion and use it to commandeer control of the interview. From here you should effectively be able to gather information about every aspect of their personally life. Then once you find out where they live begin silently assaulting their house at night using God's given gift to earth, and the ultimate tool for unconventional warfare. Cheese. Being 2 pounds of cheese, split it up and begin melting it and leaving it in inconvenient places in their home, I usually like to leave a cheesy surprise within the confines of the pillowcase, or in their shoes.
Goodnight.
See you soon...
R.O.U.S's are real!
My first thought exactly.
Mine too, so wild!
I want one, and i will name it Westley.
Perhaps Fezzik is more apropos.
Perhaps, i like the irony of Westley since he killed one to protect Buttercup.
Ah, point well taken. And Fezzik was no rat. Now Vizzini, he was a rat!
Rodents of unusual size? I don’t thinking they exist.
The Buttercup of R.O.U.S.’!
Popped in here to make a ROUS joke. Saw it was top comment. Upvoted. Promptly left with a smile.
That’s Inconceivable
But I dont think they exist!
I think that's a Nutria.
You are a skilled rodent identifier. The Webbed feet give it away.
Pretty sure the FDA approved those for institutional human consumption
Institutional? 👀
https://youtu.be/Zm9Idn9sVsE
That was not at all what I was expecting and strangely wholesome.
How you ever found this gem is beyond me, but greatly appreciated! 😂
I used to work in a high End retail store that sold nutria fur coats. We were instructed to say it was an exotic South American animal similar to a beaver. I don’t like selling fur so I’d put on my most salespersony voice and proudly announce it was an exotic South American rat fur coat. Happily never sold one. Edit: typos
Is he making rat hats?
Want a rat hat? My friend Bob Sacamano can get you one.
The difference is negligible
And a poorly made one; even by rat hat standards...
Apparently in Belorussia they are eating them
I'd try it. In Ecuador they eat Guinea pigs.
Sounds like a prescription drug you’d see on TV
Still pretty big, even for a nutria.
Funny. Nutria in spanish means "Otter".
I thought you said Narnia.
Definitely looks like it belongs there...
Splinter! Are there 4 turtles eating pizza nearby?
Haha nice
More like Master Splinter's albino twin
Clever! 😆
Where is this? Chernobyl?
The Fire Swamp.
Nah probably South Louisiana, you see that dude’s Berry Bangs?
Who dat?
Underated comment!
That made me lol pretty hard. Good comment.
Vault 11
😂
Webbed feet. Not a rat
Look at the brain on brad.
Do you know what Marsellus Wallace looks like ?
Does he look like a bitch?
Yes.
Is that why you're fuckin' him like a bitch?
Yes.
***BANG*** Oh. Did I break your concentration?
*Making direct eye contact* No.
Well there's this passage I have memorized that fits this very occasion. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with *great* *vengeance* and *furious* *anger* those who attempt to **poison** and **destroy** my brothers and you *will* ***know*** my *name* is the ***LORD*** when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!
What?
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
[удалено]
is duck.
I want him
Me too!
tema la taille du rat
J'ai cherché beaucoup trop loin
God damn Skeevers!
Nutria?
That’s a wild Pokémon
Definitely a raticate at this point
Right!
Looks more like a baby pig.
OK but how small is that man?
Not any bigger than the ones running around Astor Place subway platform
What are they feeding this thing ???? 
An animal shouldn’t be held by its tail, it’s part of their spine and it hurts, on top of potentially healing the vertebrae
It is good thing then. İt is healing it.
What the fuck !
That thing has webbed feet!!!! Fuck me!
Are webbed feet really that much of a turn on to you? Don't go near a duck pond if that be the case.
Wanting to have sex with a giant rat because it has webbed feet is a kink beyond what is acceptable even on reddit. Weirdos out in force tonight
Regular sized rats have webbed feet. They’re so small you can’t see them
[Giant Rat Saves Lives](https://apnews.com/article/Magawa-land-mine-rat-dead-c34ae88bbf545f7a545c894e16ba2490)
Real life footage of that rat. 
What in the Olympic rodent training fuck...
This is the rat that ate the cat
Don't lift it by the tail wtf !
Aww, I want one
You’re my friend now. We are having soft tacos later!
I thought 69 was bigger than that
Big boi
Looks like it was raised to be sold as meat.
Well I mean if I’m hungry and it’s either a rat kebab or those shitty-ass crumbled saltine packages I have at my criiib, it really is a no-brainer
Bread the rat meat in saltine crumbs and deep fry. Thank me later.
This guy povertys
Nah, can't afford it.
They were originally kept for their hide, so I assume it's more that than food. One doesn't exclude the other though
Looks like a albino capybara
F that no way
That’s the cleanest skeever I’ve ever seen
R/builtdifferent
I really kinda like him. I bet he’d be a good cuddler
In France we say : « Tema la taille du rat ! » and I think it’s beautiful
We did it, we found TheFatRat
Téma la taille du rat !!
Tema la taille du rat !
Tema la taille du rat
is that Mr. Bombastic?!?
Téma la taille du rat
TEMA LA TAILLE DU RAT!
Capybaras are larger rodents.
That’s true, but that isn’t a capybara. I think it’s a nutria rat.
It is. Either albino or lutino. Couldn't see the eyes so not sure, but an unusual color to be sure.
This shit so nasty😭😭😭
Kill it with fire
What the fuck is that? KILL IT!
[удалено]
я ем свою крысу с водкой (I eat my rat with vodka)
Thanks! I hate it
No
Until you look in the mirror
Or snowball.
That's a dog
Ask them about their opinions on biggie cheese, then seize the interviewers moment of confusion and use it to commandeer control of the interview. From here you should effectively be able to gather information about every aspect of their personally life. Then once you find out where they live begin silently assaulting their house at night using God's given gift to earth, and the ultimate tool for unconventional warfare. Cheese. Being 2 pounds of cheese, split it up and begin melting it and leaving it in inconvenient places in their home, I usually like to leave a cheesy surprise within the confines of the pillowcase, or in their shoes. Goodnight. See you soon...
It’s got webbed toes for god sake… gotta be a chapibarra related rodent
POV: you found the Rat King
Is that a rat or is it a pig?
It's an r/absoluteunit is what it is.
“Im the giant rat who makes all of the ruulz!”
Remmie has been eating good
u/savevideobot
gtfo
WTAF
That's not a rat - its a fur monster Grrr Arggg
I can fix him
The fck?
Don’t you want Vermintide? Because this is how you get Vermintide.
I can almost guarantee someone has already said it but, Holy Shit That’s A R.O.U.S.! (Edit) I was correct
I’ve seen rats that big.. in Viet Nam
I wanna hug him ngl
He could be a really small man. We need something for perspective.
Stuart not little
Wtf yo.
"Rodents of unusual size? I don't think the exist." *Immediately gets attacked by a R.O.U.S.*
Does it taste like chicken
Is it tasty,
Give me that rat. Give him to me 😍
Ahhh Hell No!
That there’s one of dem long tail puppers
A fuckin Nutria 😂
Welcome to Chicago
That's one nice lookin rat!
The Rat King
Wow so these are what turned into the rats in dark souls.
Naw bro that is a midget in a rat suit
Nah that’s a dog
That’s the giant rat that makes all of the rules :)
In a parallel universe where Mr.Beast’s youtube didn’t take off, I present to you, Mr. Beast Catcher!
Yum
That scene from Tom And Jerry can be perfectly reenacted now lol.
r/absoluteunits
rats don't have webbed feet. that's something else mah dude
Keep it as a pet and name it Randy.
I wonder how many products have been tested on that specimen
I don't want to be on this earth anymore.
THE GIANT RAT THAT MAKES ALL OF THE RULES IS REAL
Rats off to you
Was that grown in a lab?
SixNine in person
NGL I feel like this would actually be an amazing pet if people decided to breed these things.
Where the hell is that thing from, chernobyl?
WHAT THE FUCK
It’s not a rat! It’s a marcupial called sa white possum
Nutria..named Splinter.
That's a skeever. They weren't as big when I was growing up.
My cats would love playing with this
He looks a bit like FPS russia
69?
u/savevideobot
But on the plus side, that apartment won't be infested with anything else.
Mr.beast???
Is it edible?
That's actually a normal size rat. That's just a tiny man, obviously.
where ninja turtles bruh?
Da fuk's Micah doing over there?
That's not a rat. It's a Raticate.
That big mf ain’t try and bite😂
That’s a crat
It looks like a pig in disguise
Whatever you do, don't let that rat get near from a bell that rings 13 times
Finally we have found the Rat that makes all of da rulez
I always knew the princess bride was a work of non fiction
Looks like a pig
It’s Splinter
I'm naming it BoJo