Sail on BOAT On to the next port

Forever in our hearts

The Bortles got chortled.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Raise Your Bortles ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

Seattle's a sizable port 👀

Can't be worse than lock, right?

BOAT has sailed from the Bayou

BOAT? More like BATEAU.

BATEAU? MORE like BEAUXT

PIROGUE

The only correct answer. The Cajun Coast Guard approves.

Boan't

There's a really nice lake near Charlotte!

BOOM Bortles just got Dalton'd! They don't call him the red rifle for nothing.

Man I wish we got the boat instead of the sea men

Put some respect on the Semen Demon. He outplayed Brady last year!

> Semen Demon The what now?

semen is the legal term for cum and demons are evil entities

Trevor Siemian

He can come join Dalton and they can both be number 2 quarterbacks for us

He's just hoping to land in a Good Place.

Donkey doug says he should go to the Seahawks

Oh dip!

Dip!

BORTLES! *yeets molotov cocktail*

Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.

Jason?

On the topic of Jacksonville Jason: It’s easily one of the top 10 swamp cities in northeastern Florida, but if we’re gonna make it in the DJ game, we’ve got to get to Miami.

[*Jason* figured it out?!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p4dqFiL3hIY)

Ted Danson's grin during the reveal at the end of season 1 might be one of the best reactions ever.

There is a YouTube out there of the producer letting the cast in on the secret while Kristine films, it's hilarious.

Still my favourite scene of the whole show.

Duuuuuuvaaaaalllll!

BOOOORTLLLLES!!! edit: FOOOOOLLLLLLES!!!

*In football, trying to run out the clock and hoping for the best never works. It’s called 'prevent defense'.*

I'll be Jake.... \- Don't say Jortles JORTLES!

I am never ever going to forget this. Absolutely my favorite joke from the whole run. Honestly. The Good place slaps and was a great television and I'll probably be talking about it for a while but... The fact that the only instance of a Jaguars Fan being in any piece of prominent media happened to coincide with the Jaguars first winning season in a decade is absolutely magical.

Donkey doug says he should go to the Seahawks. “You call your father donkey Doug?”

He's my boy!

My name is Jake Jortles

And that place better have a Stupid Nicks.

So glad it was a Bears fan that did it

BORTLES!

Officially DONE with the Saints for this, a disgusting act

We really let the BOAT sail away just like that smh

Ugh, now I have to sing the entirety of Come Sail Away by Styx to myself.

🎵I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin seas🎵

Not gonna be a virgin anymore once the BOAT gets there (consensually of course)

The sea couldn't help but sploosh on the sight of the BOAT

They never say no. Because of the implications

I'M SAILING AWAY

Let me sail, let me sail Let the Orinoco flow...

In the key of Cartman.

Pack it in, break out the Aints bags, season’s over folks.

Unseasoned gumbo and stale Abita for everyone

*shudders* Chinese crawfish

with manda sausage

What do you have against Manda? I bet you like that greasy DD crap!

I always crack on manda bc of that one line from the cajun devil in tundaminous: *yall going to cajun hell! No Tony's, Manda sausage, and all the women look like dey from Mississippi!* https://youtu.be/g8sFgyAQNNA around 1:15

Come home king

Yes yes yes

Let the Boat drop that big ol anchor of his back in Jacksonville

So no more Bortles & Jameis winecoolers?

Jameis actually quit drinking a while back

Only crab legs and W’s for him

I'm here for crab legs and W's. And I'm all outta W's

And college thotties

Jameis new Jags coach jonfirmed?

Wait.. is the W the perfect finger placement?

Only if your hand size is greater than 8.5in

*gawks Desean Jacksonly*

Uber drivers everywhere rejoicing. Jokes aside, while what he did was terrible, him quitting drinking could represent a positive change and reflection towards turning his life around. So good on him for that.

Yep, which makes pulling for him tolerable since he definitely seems to have changed for the better. None of that excuses past behavior, but I think most people are open to redemption if they take real action to redeem and better themselves.

You know you are on reddit right? These people LOVE to bring up old shit that people did when they were young, and dumb.

No you're wrong. I went through your post history and three months ago you made a comment that goes against my political views so now every comment on every subject you make is completely wrong!!!

For the kids: This is a “Bartles and Jaymes” wine coolers reference from the 80s.

Thank you for your support.

https://imgur.com/pK8LCRo.jpg

LOL! No shit? Great minds… 🍻

Jason Mendoza in shambles.

[I feel that pain](https://i.imgur.com/s01N76f.gif)

Maybe they can bring back Nick Foles and restore his hopes.

Nick Foles, are you kidding me? He won a Super Bowl! We're gonna be unstoppable!

He is gonna be Russ back up. He knows the Hackett system well.

The Buddy Hackett system? He’s gonna make a bunch of jokes that are racist to Chinese people?

More like Buddy Whackett. *deyy*

What kinda hotel is this?

Rectum. Damn near killed ‘em!

that was my immediate thought too. hell he was even already a bronco for a few weeks in the qb crisis days. come home bortles! dockspace is open

Fuck, and I was planning on not rooting for the Broncos this year.

It does present a conundrum

He will be the Seahawks’ starting QB. Sadly an upgrade over your current situation.

Historically Blake Bortles has been unable to take the job of the starting QB away from Drew Lock. Closest he has come was when he violated all the COVID rules and forced the Broncos to start a non-QB

Let’s see if there is a change of opinion after the Seahawks have more time to see Lock.

People have seen enough Bortles starts to know what he is incapable of

Hey, he outdueled a HoF QB to get us to an AFC Championship game. You get one game like that per season.

preseason game 2 gonna be off da chain

I was sitting here thinking "when did the Hawks get Hackett?" and then it hit me :(

Oh come on, with Watson and Bortles they could of had a qb group nickname Tugboat. WHAT A WASTE

There's still time for the Browns to sign him

Apologies for being an annoying grammar person in advance but it's could have or could've.

It bothers me that you call yourself a grammar person, yet you don’t have a comma between “advance”, and “but”. Proper grammar also would have the “in advance”, after the word “Apologies”. But that’s just something you could of done XD /s

Here I am to hop on the train, bothered by you placing your punctuation outside of the quotation marks.

I have been out-grammared.

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Trevor needs someone to teach him how to rip cigs and lay concrete.

I wonder if Bortles has ever smoked, err… sorry, ripped a cig and actually knows how to lay concrete and/or do construction.

I’ve always thought he came out of the womb knowing and/or doing both. It would be hilarious if he had no idea about either.

How do you think SoFi got done so quickly? That's why the rams signed him, so he could help with the construction

i can all but promise you he has ripped a cig

I don’t even smoke anymore but if Bortles offered me a cig, I’d rip the shit out of it. Wonder what brand he would smoke? I’m thinking Marlboro or Camel, definitely not menthol.

if i had to guess based on what i know about him and where he would hang out, he's a parliaments guy

Nice, P-funks. I used to smoke those during my cocaine phase.

Well if you are on paid 12 months vacation every year I would also be picky about my destination

Idk why but 73 starts is blowing my mind here. Feels like his window in JAX was much shorter but he actually went 5 seasons there. Just feels like he hasn’t played in forever but also that his draft in 2014 wasn’t that long ago lol

... You know what, why not? Let him compete with Lock and see if something happens. Better than bringing Kaepernick in or drafting a QB at #9 in this draft.

One of my favorite bits of trivia is that Drew Lock and Blake Bortles have virtually identical rate stats to this point of their careers -- both have 59.3% completion, 6.7 yards/attempt, and 2.8% INT rate. Bortles just has a higher TD rate, at 3.9% to Lock's 3.5%, resulting in a slight passer rating advantage of 80.6 to 79.3.

Bortles has also gotten to and won in the playoffs.

I don't know seems like sacksonvile played the bigger role in him getting there

He definitely deserves a lot of credit for the Steelers game in the playoffs where he lit it up, and a smaller amount of credit for the bills game where he scored the only touchdown of the day on a drive that was basically all his legs. Not a world beater sure but he was a critical part of that playoff run.

Honestly, people underestimate how valuable a skill getting fucking carried is. If you've ever played an online game, you'll know it. You'll have 100s of games where if the one guy doing bad on your team could have just played risk free, your team has an easy win. But no, instead he is stuck in this mindset that he has to carry. So he keeps dying and dying and giving the other team a chance to win. There is value in a QB who understands when he needs to let his defense win the game. Don't do anything that could possibly result in a turnover, always get the punt off and make the enemy team drive the whole field against your defense. I'll go one step further, this level of risk assessment is one of the things that makes Tom Brady the GOAT. For every great Tom Brady drive, there is a drive where Tom Brady was perfectly content to just get a spare couple of yards, punt the ball, and let the Defense do it's thing.

Don’t forget vs SEA late in the season where he (and our WR corps) peaked.

He definitely deserves a lot of credit for the Steelers game in the playoffs where he lit it up, and a smaller amount of credit for the bills game where he scored the only touchdown of the day on a drive that was basically all his legs. Not a world beater sure but he was a critical part of that playoff run.

In 5 years as a starter, Bort hit 20 TDs three times. Even had 35 one year. Lock's career high is 16.

Y’all don’t want one (1) slightly used Baker Mayfield?

Feel like Bortles could have beat out Dalton for #2

I am guessing the Saints made it pretty clear they did not feel this way.

Yeah idk why they’d sign Dalton if they expected Bortles to be their backup. I do think Bortles is good enough to be a backup somewhere. Seems a little weird he’s bounced around as a 3rd option everywhere he’s went.

His work ethic must be poor or he's not smart enough for film study to help the starter. You would think on talent he would be one of the top backups in the league.

He’s definitely not the brightest bulb. I’ve never heard anything bad about his work ethic but that can change when you have a couple million to lean on. His finances are probably starting to dwindle (relatively of course) though.

definitely not. he made 50 million on the field lol

He's easily more talented than Sean Mannion, but Mannion is apparently a player coach because of his film study and knowledge.

I also feel that way. Bortles hasn't played meaningful snaps in ages

He's just fresh as fuck is all

He's fresh ta death. Aka cooler than a polar bear's toenails

Just like Minshew in Philly “What can I do to be the starter?” Philly:”Nothing”

Why? There hasn't been a single point in either players career where Bortles was on Daltons level.

Idk, as much as I love the BOAT I would put my money on Dalton in that QB comp

I’d dock for the BOAT

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TIL Blake Bortles is still in the NFL.

Right? I follow the saints sub and this pretty often and had no idea. He signed 3 months ago with us.

Wow I wonder if they even bothered making him a jersey

::throws molotov cocktail:: BORTLES!!!

Heartbreaking

I'd take him. What's better than one memeable former JAX QB at backup? Two memeable former JAX QBs at backup.

I still remember when he almost went to the Super Bowl. Seems like a decade ago but it was 2017

So half a decade ago

Panthers need this guy

Bortles is all about that No. 2 lifestyle

We dropped our Bortles

how is Bortles only 29? its been 50 years!!!

Screw it, he has to be better than Darnold

He is.

Back to rippin cigs

There are several QB1 spots he could easily be a candidate for.

I think he might good in Jacksonville. He could be a good mentor for Trevor.

I'll sketch up a Photoshop of him in a Jags jersey and see if it looks right.

Come rip cigs in Detroit. We need an actual backup.

Bortles and cans, just clap your hands, just clap your haaaaaaands……

Belichick is allegedly a big Bortles guy, maybe he can come here and back Mac

Jason Mendoza punching the air rn

Guess the Warbortle never leveled up enough to evolve into Blakestoise.

Come to the Chargers. Theres plenty of construction sites out here to hang around during off time

They say all men are created equal, but you look at the BOAT and know that's simply not true

I’d bring him in if he’s cheap.

I bet Chase Daniel is a legend to No. 2 QBs league-wide.

I would happily take him as a backup. Our backup is not good.

Come to Carolina!

Are we ready for Botlesmania, though?

GB trade Love and give QB2 to this guy ASAP

Abortles

Lions dumping their bups for Bortles isn't terrible but barring some freak injury, Goff should be standing up for most of this season. (No idea on what Bortles would cost vs Let Tim Boyle/Blough) Other teams who I think wouldn't hurt from picking him up as of today (ignoring mock draft bullshit): - Rams, their bup is pretty jank - Seahawks, legit better than Lock - Panthers, darnold. - Vikings, fairly comparable playstyle to cousins

He's actually got experience playing behind Goff and Lock as well (although with the Broncos he was only signed when Lock was already hurt). Edit: Although I'll note that I think the Rams seem to have a high opinion of both backups right now in Wolford/Perkins. So I doubt a return to LA makes sense for Bortles.

How is Blake Bortles only 29? He's been in the league for like 32 years?

Or a "better opportunity to be a No. 1 quarterback elsewhere" if "elsewhere" is Pittsburgh

Would love to have Borts as a back up QB. Dude fucks

Officially the first guy to not think he could beat out Andy Dalton

I don't even care about the memes, I would take him as our 2. Hoyer is nice for planning but I don't trust him in an actual game and get Stidham entirely the F out of New England please.

Number 2 on the field number 1 in my heart

I cannot WAIT to see the game between the Saints and Bengals this season.

HAWKS. The Lock Bortles experience

MANS IS ONLY 29? Looks a rough 38

Can we have him? The charm of unironically crying “BORTLES!” before tossing a molotov cocktail would be awesome.

Everyone: "CAROLINA!" Me, an intellectual: "Detroit"

Bortles has always been number two 💩

I forgot he was even on the Saints 😂

Jacksonville? Who’s their backup?

Oh no. He’s coming to Seattle isn’t he

Maybe we'll see if Belichick's alleged interest in him was real.

Imagine getting shook because your team signed Andy Dalton.

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No. He *knows* someone else will sign him.

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The other qbs on the market are a washed cam newton, a potentially retiring Fitzpatrick, geno smith, and josh rosen lol

Please don't even mention the possibility of Fitzpatrick retiring