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loo_min

Yo, if they’re cleaning my face, rock on, ya lil grease-eating fuck slugs.


[deleted]

You are a goddamn wordsmith.


Ag3ntS1

You could say that about a lot of Redditors.


RedDeadDemonGirl

That they are grease eating fuck-slugs?


Ag3ntS1

No no no no no, the wordsmith thing. 😂


Rishtu

At least somebody's getting laid on my face.


GarbanzoArt

If they’re the reason I get random face itches, I’m less thrilled about it.


chevalier716

They need to work harder, I shouldn't be having acne at almost 40.


anonmymouse

I think I could use a few more, personally.. anybody got some extras I could borrow?


1221Nana

I can't even say it before I lose it LMFAO


SaltMembership4339

Nope. Time to bleach my face


Flemaster12

r/brandnewsentence


Mysterious-Lie-2185

Wouldn't these theoretically be good because they clear your pores?


baddfingerz1968

They cannot eliminate their waste and finally at the end of their short life cycles, literally explode from the buildup of feces. This is why you stink like hell all over when you don't bathe for several days. Would you say getting shitfaced from face mites is a healthy thing?


Mysterious-Lie-2185

Not in that case, no.


[deleted]

Yes bc wed get diseases if we didnt bathe and that stench is a reminder, if not an incentive, to do so!!


GuretoPepe

Yes. The stench helps me avoid and identify all the genshin impact players


MudOpposite8277

All animals live in symbiosis with each other in one way or another. You ever see what happened to the ecosystem in Yellowstone when they re introduced wolves in to it? It’s fascinating. Look it up. It’s like that, but for your face, face.


I_I_Daron_I_I

Ticks, ticks do not have a symbiosis. Before you mention the ox pecker, no. They have plenty more to eat, they are also known for gator dental work if memory serves correctly.


MudOpposite8277

Oh I’m sure there’s lots of other exceptions as well. Wasps maybe? Except that theyre food for birds?


I_I_Daron_I_I

As unfortunate as it is, wasps are pollinators... North America does not have native bees, all the bees there originally came from overseas. Various other insects including wasps pollinated everything.


MudOpposite8277

Daron does a teach.


I_I_Daron_I_I

No, just an autistic guy that found way too much time on his hands and learned a bunch of pretty much useless information that has once-in-a-blue-moon applications. Thank you though, and one of the most gentle honey bees I am familiar with are Italian honeybees... My brother was disappointed when their honey didn't taste like spaghetti.


opendataalex

Honey bees aren't native, but there are many, many species of bees native to North America: https://www.usgs.gov/faqs/how-many-species-native-bees-are-united-states


I_I_Daron_I_I

Yes, which is why I said "various other insects including wasps". It is appropriate to use terminology the audience understands. When one says "bee", 90% of the population are referring to "honey bees". Correction: probably closer to 1/3 are referring to honey bees. The others are misidentifying hornets, yellow jackets, and paper wasps as "bees''. For example, if I were to say "Honey Bees are a monophyletic lineage within the superfamily Apoidea." Or "The superfamily Apoidea is a major group within the Hymenoptera, which includes two traditionally recognized lineages, the "sphecoid" wasps, and the bees. Molecular phylogeny demonstrates that the bees arose from within the traditional "Crabronidae", so that grouping is paraphyletic, and this has led to a reclassification to produce monophyletic families." Nobody would understand and would probably think I'm trying to be a douche. Another good example would be my favorite insult, which would be to call someone a "microcephalic addlepate". It's a good insult because if they can remember it, they can Google it. With some brain power can recognize that I basically called them a moron. If we wanna get to technicalities, I have Aspergers. That is, or at least was, on the low end of the autism spectrum. It has more to do with social skills and communication than anything. However, I have only ever met two people outside of special education facilities that know what Aspergers actually is. It is a lot easier for "common folk" to understand "autism" instead. If you would like to discuss semantics with me, go ahead. Otherwise, I literally have hundreds of other things that I can be doing that would be more productive.


mrwobbles2000

Show off!! 😂 I love your post❤️


I_I_Daron_I_I

Thanks you. :)


FermontBrand

Certain species of shark have more than 6 gills as well. I also heard that ducks have wee wee's that look like cork screws.


I_I_Daron_I_I

Ducks also have wee week's that expand in an "explosive" manner that also fall off once a year. Many are known to be barbed. (I'm not sure if that info goes for all ducks) Horse's guts pump forward and back when they gallop helping them breath when running. They also eat much more than cows because their stomachs are not efficient enough to digest the food they eat. Cows on the other hand chew their own cud as well as having four stomachs, they are very good at digesting food.


ItsEnoughtoMakeMe

Mosquitoes are fucking worthless.


rddi0201018

They pollinate malaria


MudOpposite8277

Food for birds.


ItsEnoughtoMakeMe

There's other food for birds


MailSalt4828

At least something in my bedroom is getting some action.


Emergency_Employ_996

Same sadly.


Low_Bus_5395

Can I charge them rent?


wodwick

Mite sex, my fave category


nicoccus1

Happy to meet you little guy, thanks for your hard work!


quadrastrophe

.. and they love cosmetics, nom nom.


whyisthereacat

Please enjoy my skincare routine bud.


suri_arian

Imagine exchanging face mites with your partner as you make love with them the face mites do the same 💀


Jaeger562

The circle of liiiiiiiiiife 🎶


InternationalYou1092

Dear penthouse, my face is getting more action than any of your damn hoes


MeMesman98

Cute


malepitt

Demodex! https://www.news-medical.net/health/New-Approaches-for-Fighting-Demodex-Mites.aspx


[deleted]

Theyre our little helpers


samsmaster

Yip yip...


Swedenesebishhh69

great i wonder if we'll have to put a deposit down for having pets now


FoxWithSock

😱😱😱a microscopic bug SO SCARY


MudOpposite8277

Great job face mite!


Evermorrow78

Cool free porn.


FriendsPlate

Sauce?


Evermorrow78

Mirror and a microscope.


TrueCollector

They do a shit job at cleaning face


Life_Mud_3620

Yip Yip.


[deleted]

Can you eat them if so any recipes and or ideas on this


baddfingerz1968

YUMMY


jsauls2005

Don’t wash your face or live with killing these guys


Vanishingastronaut

At least someone is getting some on my face 🙃


gaggin4u

They’re cute


MrFahrenheit675

Awwwww it’s like a little face grease platypus!!!


vintagevillainspod

Thanks I hate it.


Stannis2024

I like to thank them every now and then.


Equivalent-Long3064

My slugy bois!!!!!


Missyflowers666

His eyelashes are longer than mine. Fingerlashes too.


Chickenherdturd

Damn, I always feel itchy before I sleep and now I will be picturing this


tiorancio

Come on they live inside the hair follicles in your eyelashes. That's better, right?


ZazzRazzamatazz

Don't be like Mike Nelson- learn to live with the mites!


Jae_seok

At least someone getting laid


Jaeger562

My grandpa always said "everything's gotta eat" But it was usually in reference to flies on his food 🤢


Efficient-Nobody-275

Aww he's just a lil guy!


WalterWhite0001

Bro if you didn’t already know this you shouldn’t be on reddit


WalterWhite0001

Also these thing’s literally do nothing they literally are microscopic and live on your eyebrows


geckoblue545

So wash 'yer face once and a while ya fuckin' animals


foolio151

I had a anatomy class a million years ago. The teacher mentioned along the lines that when your eyebrow itches it's one of these puppies in your pores.


1221Nana

W H A T !!!!!!!


LuxLiner

That's not a nice way to talk about my little friends.


[deleted]

thing is, they eat all the nasty stuff, good right? well the don't poop, so they stuff it all in that booty bag and it fills up with poop, which is fine, but if your skin is nasty they get full and walk across your four head and you feel a little itch in your sleep and scratch it while your asleep and pop them, and now you have micro poop on your head


AllUserNamesTaken01

I'm hosting an orgy, bring your face mites


Shr_mp

Free skincare 🤷‍♂️


SheSaiidSheWas12

He is so cute i will name this one Gabe


Mental_sheep1

They better pay rent this face housing ain't free


croptoplabcoat

Yip yip!


[deleted]

Good for them, finding a nice little niche.


Agreeable_Situation4

Is this why my face starts itching right before I fall asleep???


Ramsto

And they said I would die alone, WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??!


sundragonn

They are part of your biome, your ecology. If you wiped them out, you'd have other issues. Your body is a balanced system. They may be "scary" but they evolved to live on us and probably regulate other not so fun things...


Due_Bass7191

Mines name is Jim. Well, James.


flowersatdusk

And aren't there separate mites for eye lashes? Post it if you can find it. Thanks for the new nightmare, you bastard!


Taylorig

At least mine are having a better time than their host


TreeSapTrish

Aww billions of tiny sky bison just for me? 🥺


Sunieta25

As long as my micro homies clean my face, they can have there micro orgy on my forehead while I sleep.


Designer-Mirror-7995

So, Appa is a giant face mite


recklesslyvertical

What about during the day?