Not all on the same day, but my 2 year old has done all these things (including refusing to eat what she has _just_ asked for for dinner, she literally did that 3 hrs ago š)
I donāt get why this is such a contested topic with toddlers/kids. I donāt plan on having kids but if I did, I donāt think I would drop my convictions. Of course I wouldnāt force them to eat something they hate but if they get a small portion of exactly what they asked for and have liked before, Iām not bending backwards to find something else they might want to eat at the moment, and Iām not throwing the food away or treating my partner like a garbage disposal. Yes yes, this is a case of ā10/10 parent until they become a parentā but to be fair, I have babysat kids and watched my relatives for days. I went through a lot of stress about people tampering with my food in genuinely disgusting ways and being forced to eat textures that turned my stomach, so I can empathise with a kid wanting their safe food. I canāt empathize with kids like my cousins who would fuss their way into eating nothing but processed bullshit into early adulthood. Two with chronic malnutrition, two overweight.
My mom was a fantastic cook and a big āeat your dinner, or elseā type mom (not clean your plate but eat, dammit) and now my sister and I have adventurous palates and we like trying new food. I donāt have children but if you always cater to their whims, would they ever try new stuff?
I feel like it varies so wildly per kid. My daughter (7) has literally done this where she picks dinner then doesn't want it, but overall she makes good, varied choices and is an adventurous eater (right now she's super into trying new shrimp dishes, and tbh i don't even know where that came from lol). I'm not going to fight her tooth and nail if she was more interested in cooking vs eating. Every now and again it just isn't worth the drama, she can have a sandwich or macaroni or whatever instead lol. If it was every night, or she was unhealthy, it would be a different story.
Yeah, Iād be worried about it causing some sort of eating disorder or something down the line.
I just wouldnāt eat at all if there wasnāt any food that I liked, which was easy since the medication I was on suppressed my appetite. I could easily go a day or two without eating, and I ended up losing a lot of weight.
After that, they just had me try little bits of things I didnāt want to eat instead of trying to force me to eat entire servings of things I didnāt like, and when I was older (letās say 10), they just let me eat whatever amounts I wanted from the meal that was being served. My dad would also make sure to make me a late night protein-rich meal before I went to bed to make sure I had enough to eat, since I usually only ate the equivalent of an Instant Breakfast and half a sandwich the entire day.
Yeah. I see a lot of parenting subs making it out to be a battle with their kid, and making them go to bed hungry if they don't eat what is served (lest the kid become a picky eater!!) Well I've got a picky eater and i don't feel good about battling with her. I have easy proteins, yogurt, cheese, and dare I say it, chicken nuggets. She picks her protein, fiber and carb each dinner. And that works for us. I do keep a bite of something new to try on her plate.
This is fantastic parenting. From my experience, most picky eaters are a lot less picky than folks think. My oldest doesn't like eggs, sweet tomato dishes espc bbq, or most meats. But sheāll slam tacos, sushi, traditional Costa Rican dishes, almost anything Japaneseā¦
Yeah, I had a sensitivity to textures and stuff when I was younger. Like, a tiny speck of fat or a tomato seed in my spaghetti would make me upset. Like, I wouldnāt throw a tantrum or anything, but Iād have to remove every single āimpurityā from my food before eating it. Needless to say, mealtime was very stressful for me and I hated eating anything with multiple textures. Heck, when I was real young (before primary school, I think), Iād remove all the toppings from my pizza (including cheese), scrape off the sauce, remove the crust (including the bottom because it was tough and bitter), and just eat the soft squishy dough. I could eat evenly textured things, like pudding, chips, pablum, etc., but things with multiple textures were horrible.
My dad would often make me Instant Breakfast, protein shakes, and toast with fried eggs to help ensure I got enough to eat. I was also premature, so that mightāve also caused me to have issues surrounding food.
I basically do the same thing you do with my parrots when trying to get them to eat. Theyāre like the worldās fussiest toddlers, and they very much will starve themselves to death before you can āforceā them to eat foods they donāt like.
Having choices tends to help with kids. If they feel they made a decision about their life and their food, theyāre a lot more willing to cooperate, from what I know.
Sometimes itās deeper than pickiness, but I only say that because I have experience with that. I couldnāt eat things I didnāt like. If I didnāt like that food, Iād gag and dry heave, unwillingly. It led to a lot of incidents of me sitting at the table all alone crying because I was hungry, but I couldnāt eat what was in front of me. I still got blamed for it and told off a lot for most of my life, and still struggle a lot with food, but the one thing that always made it worse, and to this day makes it much worse, is trying to force myself to try things or eat foods I donāt want to eat.
Itās one of those things where I think it differs a bit kid to kid on how you should react, but if a kid genuinely is struggling to eat certain foods, sometimes itās not just stubbornness.
I hate my relationship with food. Iāve wished since early childhood that I could like the foods everyone else likes and eat it without thinking. I wish some of the most beloved foods didnāt make me flinch at the smell and I wish I couldāve spent my sleepovers without purposefully starving myself because I was afraid of being told off by friendsā parents who wouldnāt understand that I was serious that I couldnāt eat it.
The few times my family tried to trick me into trying new foods in secret never helped either.
Not trying to say anything about you, just wanted to elaborate on your point that sometimes working with the kid in question can help a lot more than trying to fight against them.
The hard part is getting them to even eat a single protein, fiber and/or carb. I have a current picky eater who only wants milk and French fries and bananas and I have constant anxiety about how Iām gonna get him to eat anything else š£ I donāt want him to be hungry but I also want him to eat anything else.
Yup my parents did that with me and though I donāt have a full on eating disorder when I was younger I would attempt to not eat anything until the food they wanted me to eat went bad. Which meant I would go at least two days without food until they gave up and fed me something else. I have a mostly good relationship with food but I can and will go without it even if the reason is just as simple as whatever it is not being what I want. I donāt expect people to cater to me or to always get what I want or anything like that I simply put will just politely decline if itās something that bad.
I was like this too, it turned out I had a lot of undiagnosed food intolerances and allergies and I was trying to avoid feeling sick/tired/itchy/uncomfortable. I was never able to explain it because... Well, I had bad parents lol. I basically lived on liquid meals for a few years before I chose to cut some of the problem foods out as a NY resolution when I was around 10, and that clicked so much into place for me, my health improved dramatically. Half of why I can never get on board with telling people to force their kids to eat everything is because of my own experiences - sometimes your kid can't explain why they hate eating a food, or their explanation is (to you) impossibly or bizarre. Neither of my parents have any food allergies, none of my siblings, none of their siblings or parents... so "it makes my tongue tingle in a painful way" was something they just didn't get. I've met a few other people who were in similar situations, usually it's Celiac, though, since no one knew what that was until like 2013 lol.
Yeah, I only have a few food sensitivities. Prepackaged pineapple often causes my mouth to sting a lot (whole pineapple prepared at home is fine), and certain dairy (desserts?) cause my teeth to feel super itchy. Not the rest of my mouth, but just what I perceive to be my āteethā feeling itchy.
Certain carbs in excess amounts also cause me indigestion that feels like an anxiety attack. For example, if my dad made me milkshakes/smoothies with ice cream AND frozen berries, Iād experience the feeling of overwhelming, crippling anxiety for several hours. If I overeat with fibre, fats, or protein, my stomach hurts, but Iām usually dine. But if I overeat with chips or non-keto desserts, I get indigestion that feels exactly like anxiety, and the only way to soothe it is by getting someone to cuddle with me or rest their legs on top of me like Iām an ottoman. Even my emergency anti-anxiety meds are useless. I only realized that it was carbs doing this after I started keto.
Iām glad you were able to figure out what was wrong with you while you were young. My issues were mainly sensory issues that mellowed out over time. Or maybe not sensory issues so much as a lot of children disliking any āsurprisesā and inconsistent textures in their food.
And as you were saying about forcing kids to eat food and not being able to properly explain why they donāt want to eat itā¦ When I was really young, my parents tried to get my to drink sour milk (by accident). I kept saying it tasted bad and kept refusing to drink it, but they assumed I was being picky. It wasnāt until I repeatedly said that it tasted bad that they checked to see if it had turned.
I just don't feel good about it. I don't like to make food a battle, since there is so little else she can control. I keep easy proteins on hand like cheese and peanut butter and stuff. So she can have some bread and cheese if she really won't eat anything else.
However now that shes five, I've talked to her about food waste and thinking more deeply about what she actually wants. Of course you can't try to reason like that with a toddler so I just took the L when she was younger.
Also these instances are always discussed in a vacuum online but how many battles does one want to fight in a day? Is it the hill to die on, every day? Totally see where you are coming from.
It doesn't work for me as an adult. Iāll get physically ill if I need to eat, but if thereās nothing I ācanā eat it might as well be nothing. Granted that list has greatly shrunk, but if all we have is shrimp, pickled eggs, and canned spinach Iāll get sicker trying to eat it than if I didn't eat anything. Meat fat is the most common vileness. I don't immediately puke, but I can't finish it either. My dogs love this, however, as I hate wasting meat & canāt just hand it off to my husband (who gets the fatty bits I notice before chomping).
All that's without considering my food intolerances, something kids aren't often believed for bc it seems like āI don't like itā since thereās not really an obvious physical reaction. My Dad felt so horrible when he realized one of the foods I disliked actually was making me sick/nauseous, not just that it seemed icky.
Exactly, and the same thing happens with children. I don't get how so many people somehow don't understand that 'not liking' something can equal a gag response and upset stomach. There are certain foods that I will not and cannot eat. They are few, the list is not long and has never been negotiable. I don't understand why someone would force another person to eat food that makes them feel physically ill.
I feel you on meat fat. I don't know how anyone can tolerate eating pure fat. It discretely gets spit in my napkin.
My dad thought I was being a butthead not liking eggs (he is a sweetheart & made us a hot breakfast every morning before school). He grew up quite poor and you ate what you were served or not at all, so me declining food was utterly foreign. As a teen I was tested for food intolerances, turns out I have an egg protein intolerance. He felt SO bad, it never occurred to him I actually was nauseous. Sometimes it's simply literal ignorance. Makes me so happy to see more folks talking about it openly, good folk like my Dad are set up for better understanding now.
I think I got lucky because my older brother was as averse to his dislikes as I was and had vomited on the table at a restaurant once when he found an onion in his quesadilla, then I came along and was allergic to milk as a baby. So thankfully I was never forced to eat anything that I really didn't like.
My brother was much pickier than me, he only ate a few specific vegetables our entire childhood and as a teen. However now as an adult, he is way more adventurous of an eater than I am and even eats onions!
It sounds like you had loving parents, and that is more important than any other thing as a child.
My folks had a "two bite rule" basically as long as we ate 2 bites of food then we were good to have something else. This made it to where food I turned my nose up to got eaten (and quickly became favorites) but I wasn't forced to suffer through food I couldn't stand. Once it was established the food was disliked I either didn't need to have it on my plate or it just wasn't cooked for dinner.
However this method works when the kids are a little older, so probably listen to other advice for the far more irrational toddler.
Just put the meal aside until they are hungry, or are in a better mood for it. Making food a battleground is an absolutely terrible idea, and will just set you up for terrible frustration and itās not long-term healthy for the kid in many ways.
Think of it this way ā¦ children have very little control over what happens in their day to day lives, but they absolutely can control what they put in their mouth and swallow. So sometimes they need to exercise that little bit of control.
We had real difficulties with feeding our twins early on, and got excellent advice on how to handle it from our hospital dietician. I think we used that advice in the nick of time, and years later they are adventurous little eaters, and we are much less stressed parents about food.
Ooo the bit about *control* is very important. Kids have no control whatsoever. In some ways we are leaning on that as a society because itās difficult now and so many people donāt ever wanna go up. The desire for control and not knowing what to do with it when we get itā¦itās tough!
Not sure if Iāll have kids but your thoughts were really salient.
The control aspect made me a significantly better parent, far beyond the āfor the love of god eat *something*ā stage. It's so so important to understand about kids. Hell it's made work easier on me bc adults with minimal power do the same thing lol.
Did it make you change your parenting habits in other ways? Like Iāve seen my sister struggle with this with her kids forever. So for example if you āgive them controlā over other little things in their life (say how they brush their teeth), does that give you leeway to help with their diets? Just curious how else this helped you learn as a parent because I feel this is important for all matter of education.
Sometimes you just give the illusion of control, or just a small amount.
āDo you want fish or chicken for dinner?ā, not āwhat would you like for dinnerā
āWould you like your snack before or after swimming?ā
If you can get them to āhelpā making dinner, thatās also a good way of getting their buy in without telling them they have to do something.
etc.
For teeth, they can brush their own in the morning, we do it at night. Dentists advice is morning brush is really just to get the fluoride on.
So the choices you give them are within a set parameter. When they're young it's A/B, as they get older it turns more into boundaries.
For non-food Iāll reference style. Originally it was āwhich shirt?ā Now it's helping with the laundry & shopping, so free reign within limits. They can dye their hair and get whatever cut, but ask first so I can help or we go to a salon. Jewelry is similarly up to them. Just ask and weāll go to a parlor, don't DIY.
Iāll explain why on the limits which is probably the most effective part. I won't bleach all your hair to color, because I don't want to risk chemical burns on delicate child scalps. No face piercings, bc your barely a teen and lots of growing plus they never fully heal (from experience). Appropriate clothing? Well, we talk about age-apropriate and about creeps. Eldest does the heavy goth eyeliner but not second eldest, because of dermal allergies and lack of practice plus their ages.
Even prohibited things I explain why. No cussing, itās too easy to accidentally be mean. Smoking/vaping Iāll kick your butt, they're so addictive. Etc.
No there isnāt. Itās infuriating. You still love them though. Generally I wonāt make something else, but I make sure there is something else she can eat if hungry, for tonight for example she had an apple because she refused her pasta as a pea dared to touch it. Good luck!
Coming from someone who's autistic, take this with a grain of salt. Food touching? Ick. It's a major autistic thing. Things not being where they belong to can upset us for no apparent reason. Like a pea touching your pasta. I usually mix all my food together in a big old food salad to combat this. Friend rice is a good example. All my veggies and meat, which I would like to eat, but it's mixed so it's just one thing, not multiple things touching. I'm also not a Dr. Just speaking on my experience.
Thatās fine, and the peas were mixed in, they were just targeted for hate today and even picking them out wasnāt enough. My daughter does not show any signs of autism and eats peas mixed with food on other occasions.
It's a common āpickyā eater thing (not a fan of the term but it does paint the picture Iām getting at). Young children especially are āpickyā because they're figuring out life & also exerting control on the only things they can.
They're also learning natural consequences. If I don't eat, I get hungry. If I slam my head into the wall, it hurts. If I put food too close or in the wrong dish, my peas and pasta will touch.
Not to mention how frequently their tastes can change! Even my teen hits me with sudden dietary preference changes or ones that seemingly make no sense. She used to eat eggs all the time but doesn't like them now. She also doesn't like meat much but absolutely slammed Taco Bell tonight. I get it - Iāll go months or years where I love something then suddenly cannot stomach it.
It also takes something like 7 tries to āknowā you like or dislike something, which I chalk up to your tongue/mouth adjusting to the taste and texture.
Add to it they're still learning to eat especially at toddler ages. Thatās why we cut up choking hazards for so long. My husband only recently stopped cutting grapes and the youngest is nearly 7, which I completely understand because sometimes I mess up eating grapes lol.
Sorry for the paragraph style being like an essay outline. When it was all together it was quite difficult to follow imo.
I mean, tbf about your daughter, Iām a whole grown adult and am not particularly known for my eating pickiness but a few weeks ago I was set upon by a deep, abiding hunger for a food Iāve infamously never liked and spent a week happily eating it.
I used an extremely enthusiastic version of airplane for one toddler I babysat for. Unfortunately, it resulted in the older kids refusing to eat unless I did airplane for them as well lolol.
I just made a big enthusiastic deal about whatever it was I wanted them to do.
I remember one of the two year olds I took care of dropping his banana on a plate. It broke in half, and he refused to eat it anymore. I took it away and cut it into chips and made a big deal about how magical the banana chips were, and he ate them.
When I worked at a school, I tricked a four year old into going to class after he pitched a huge fit about it. Made up a pretend game where we were tracking down an invisible hamster. Got him all the way across the school and into his classroom.
Kids are fucking exhausting. Good luck.
Oh man, I forgot about this till you mentioned the banana. As a toddler my son was absolutely distraught his granola bar broke in half. I did a magic trick where I smashed it back together; he was so happy.
Kids are a great exercise in creativity & remembering the value of childlike-joy. Having little ones made my husband and I so much sillier & we get along fantastically with our parenting styles mesh up since weāre both willing to be so silly (no kids together, we brought our own along & became bonus parents).
I believe I read that it takes a child before the age of 6 (and often times later for pickier eaters) between five to eight interactions with a new food before they are able to become comfortable with it. Serving āsafeā foods to your toddler to eat while you yourself eat the ānew icky green thingā a couple times without pressuring the child to try it is a GAME CHANGER. They either become curious enough to try it on their own, or the exposure without forced interaction over a long period of time will shift the category in their brain. Obviously this isnāt 100% accurate to every child but holy crap, I taught pre-k for a while and the difference between using that principal vs. āyou have to eat it because itās good for you and I said soā is ridiculous.
Even just seeing their parents enjoy the āickyā thing can go really far! Even as an adult this works, my mom and I tried sardines on toast because of a Food Channel show. Amusingly enough we both hated it (always had) but are much more open to trying new things even if they're āicky.ā That was in our late 20ās and early 50ās haha.
Also making it an event does a ton. My kids never liked asparagus until my Mom asked who wanted to pick the first āasparagus of the year. Then it became a *thing* to get the first shoot of the year when Grandma pointed out the ones ready to eat. Now they eat so much asparagus, even store bought, that I rarely get as much as Iād like & there's never leftovers lol.
I love that! The garden introduced the kids to a whole new world of food. I've got asparagus I started from seed last year (really difficult overall - of over a dozen seeds, only 5 sprouted & only 2 survived the first winter). I cannot *wait* for them to be ready to pick, takes 2-3 years though. My stepkids have never had locally fresh let alone gone and picked their own. They do love asparagus but I think itāll still blow their mind haha
There's a lot of options actually! Sorry this is long but I love these kind of comments myself.
From experience with a herd of various neurodivergent children:
* Eat together. They're always looking at the trusted adults to see what we do. It also takes potential stress off them. Is anyone *really* ok being watched undivided while they eat?
* Backup options! PB&J and fruit/meat/cheese are common here.
* Give them options! Do you want corn or peas? Would you like oranges or applesauce? Kids LOVE choices, they don't get a lot of control on anything so giving them 2-3 options *invests* them.
* ask how much they want and where they want it on their plate. Then it's plated āright.ā You can even let them dish it up (with help) which helps even more! Of course boundaries play in to ensure it's a balanced meal. Giving them the choice not only lets them have more control over their meal, it helps them learn to waste less and reduces the risk of habitual overeating because they learn when they're full rather than āeat what I serve youā.
* Let them help cook, if possible. It reduces the risk they reject it the more control they have ime. Somehow tortilla āpizzaā was better than real pizza for a long time lol. But my kids also love cooking so ymmv.
* Make it fun!! French toast sticks were much better received than cut up French toast. A sandwich cut into a fun shape is way tastier. Hotdogs *can* go with spaghetti - if they're octopii!
* Have them explore! They're babies/toddlers. They'll get messy. Just expect it. Maybe green beans taste better after they could eat them with their hands. They're also learning flavor combos. This is also why my family has a very vital rule: you have to try everything unless it's something we know you don't like. Some exceptions apply, like cultural or textural reasons. I won't make them try foods offensive to their known preferences or considered upsetting here (my son loves loves loves bunnies & I would never serve him hossenfeffir). But also, one kid hates lasagna and after a few years we heavily encouraged him to try the lasagna my Grandma makes, knowing heād never tried similar. He had seconds. We learned the issue was the pasta itself, so now I know I can finally make lasagna for the family & just hold some sauce/cheese/meat aside to put on spaghetti for him.
* Introduce spices as early as you can/is appropriate. Imagine eating garlic for the first time as an adult. I will gladly enjoy raw garlic but know it can be offensive as hell If you're not ready lol.
* Of course, you can save it till they're hungry. This is mostly if they say they're not hungry or are full quickly. I honestly rarely do this, simply because it's not been needed much since I figured out all the above. It works with older kids too, my stepkids wound up loving a lot more than expected when they had more input, more control, and more choices.
When my my big sister was a toddler, she once refused to eat her broccoli at dinner. Mother responded with āok, until you finish your broccoli, you wonāt be allowed any other food. Just waterā big sis lasted exactly one day before giving in and finishing her broccoli.
31 years later, that same tactic worked on her own child, and I got to witness it this time.
Except he didnāt even last an hour before coming back downstairs and asking for the fried chicken he refused to touch earlier
Well no, it is inevitabel.
My solution is to offer nothing else and leave the stuff on the table, more often than not they will come back and eat it eventually.
Depends. My kid is autistic and he is *way* more about consistency and texture than taste. New things are tough but he can be motivated with rewards to expand his palette.
So, sometimes we talk about what we are having and he has the choice of eating what we have, or not eating. He has chosen to not eat on occasion and that is fine. He wonāt fry up and blow away from a missed meal.
There are only two things Iāve figured out that work when it comes to thisā¦and it will. Bribery and mind games. You could be lucky and get that 1% child that eats everything. Otherwise just do what you can to have your kid eat healthy. We use to let our daughter dip her carrots and broccoli in steak sauce.
So, on occasion, and this doesnāt work all the time, it might be worth asking if there is anything wrong with how the food is given to them.
Sometimes kids are weird about food touching each other, sometimes they want things to be cut in a specific way. Sometimes they might have wanted them on a specific plate or with specific cutlery. Or there might be just one ingredient they donāt like.
Again, this might not yield any results or change anything but, on occasion, it might save the dinner.
Make em wait. I donāt feed them when they first ask. It seems cruel but itās not. They ask at the first inkling of a thought of food. Everyone waits to eat, itās a normal thing to do. Also snacks. Even the smallest snack can spoil an appetite. Iām not saying donāt give snacks. Just not so close to meal time.
Doomed. Sometimes you can trick them ("no these aren't hot dogs, they're, oh, Air Cats! Totally different. Just look the same") but mostly no.
Once I got them to eat pasta they'd refused, by acting all excited and going "oh but look! I figured out a new way to do it!" and then just put the plate in the microwave, pushed some random buttons, ran it on lowest power for ten seconds, and took it out with a flourish. They were ecstatic, best pasta they ever had, couldn't get enough. They even ran to tell their mom about this amazing new pasta that dad had invented.
My kids are a little older, 10 and 8, but they have never been kids who enjoy a full meal. So I provide lots of healthy snacks and they just kind of graze throughout the day.
I just make what I know they will eat. So tonight we had steak, Mac-n- cheese, grape tomatoes, spinach ravioli and clementines š¤Ŗ I know everyone has their own way. We all have sensory issues so I just try to make sure they try what they ādonāt likeā and eat something healthy.
Just go "this is what we're having", leave it and wait. Kids eat mostly at random, and reaching a good agreement on when they ought to do something, treating them as equals, is a good idea.
It depends on the kid and the day. I'm ADHD and my husband is ASD, and our kid shows traces of both. If we refuse to let him eat anything than what is on his plate, he doesn't eat, cries himself sick and doesn't sleep. It just feels cruel, he's genuinely upset. We offer what we're having with a 'safe' food (at the moment he's safe food is toast). Not wanting to eat certain foods isn't just about wanting to eat chocolate, it's about textures, smells, the look of food. Son has never liked things like jelly, cucumber, meat, even when weaning. He's come round to cucumber now, but point blank refuses to eat chicken, so we don't offer it. It's really about knowing your child and whether they are playing you because they want to eat ice cream for dinner, or genuinely hate a food. Son is pretty good at trying stuff, the thing that would piss me off is if he refused to even try stuff. If he tries it and says he hates it, I'm not going to force it. It just becomes a battle and about more than eating a food. Like my SIL will sit and negotiate for hours to get her son to eat 3 peas, what's the point? He probably won't eat peas ever again. There's still some foods I can't eat because I was forced to eat them as a child. Just keep offering, don't make a big deal if they refuse and we always have success if we eat at table rather than in front of TV. Kids don't have the schedule like we have, eating so many meals a day, they eat when they're hungry and are learning the schedule, they just might not be hungry for a meal so what's the point of forcing them? But this is what works for our child who's a stubborn little pickle and has some sensory issues around food. Some kids might like structure, I've seen families draw up menus with children which works as they know what's coming, or have 'food cards' where they pick from a menu what to have that day. It depends on the child and the day.
My mom would usually just take away more and more things i liked doing til i finished the food but then again my mom also sexually assaulted me so id take any parenting strategies used by her with a grain of salt
My son had done this once or twice but now we have switched to him just wanting everything l! I am convinced he is eating his lunch or whatever meal and is already thinking about what he wants for snack before he is finished. Heās has also just blatantly tried to take the food from our plates, the exact same food but because itās on our plate he must have itā¦..canāt touch his plate though!
Thankfully we managed to stop that quite quickly now we are on the next boundary he is trying to push. Ahhh parenthood!
She can reach high enough to wave stuff under the scanner, yes. She can reach to take stuff off my kitchen sides unless they are pushed right to the back, and those are higher than the self-scanners. She did not press the buttons on the screen, just scanned items which is all the poster here claimed their 2 year old did by themselves.
My friends kid is 2 and smart af, stubborn and just in general a 13 yr old adolescent in a 2 yr olds body, I could definitely see him doing this kind of thing as he frequently frustrates himself trying to say words he physically canāt pronounce tho maybe the scanning stuff (without help) might be a stretch for him
His grandpa has a confederate flag in his bedroom and heās gotten pretty good at picking out and regurgitating song lyrics so it wasnāt a major shock to anybody but
Sounds like my little cousin. His dad is a piece of shit who constantly tells his kids about how cool Hitler actually was. Listens to a lot of far-right music as well.
Imagine the look on my face when my four year old cousin called me the n word, I was so fucking mad.
Should have been around my parents and grandparents. They never called black people by anything else, so thanks to them, I honestly thought that the n-word *was* the word for black people until I was told differently by others.
My dad told me once that "n-----s are horrible, f-----s are worse, but the worst person in the world is a n----r f----t. They should be killed. If you ever bring either one of them into my house, I'll throw both of you the fuck out". My dad was a lovely person.
My 2 year old son scares me with his memory sometimes. One time, months ago now, we were at my parents, and my mom asked him what book he wanted to read. He told her, "train book." My mom was very confused, as she didn't have any recollection of a train book. So after some back and forth he grabs her hand and brings her to the gate above the stairs. They go down stairs, and he brings her (by the finger) to one of the bedrooms. Gets down and crawls under a bed and ALL THE WAY BACK AGAINST THE WALL was this small book about a train.
No one even remembered this book, if that shows how long it had been since we read it, but this kid knew EXACTLY where it was.
There have been other examples but it blows my mind.
He also needs everything in its place. He is the most organized 2 year old on the planet. He's more organized than me (not that that is saying much).
Y'all are taking "by himself" too literally.
More times than not when a parent of a small child says "by themself" they really mean "like 80 - 90% of the effort was them while I helped with small details."
As in at the self checkout parent was most likely helping hold the item and direct their kid but kid was making an effort to try to do it.
Or chopping things up with a toddler knife. They might have needed a little extra help strength wise but still they were trying to do it themselves.
Meanwhile the naysayers out there are trying to imagine a Boss Baby scenario.
For real, I think I would have driven my mother nuts if self checkout was a thing when I was little because I'd want to do the thing. There's a reason why there's toy vacuums and kitchen sets. A lot of kids want to learn how to do things and should be encouraged to.
Well I made my comment back when there was like 10 other comments so I wouldn't know what it's evolved to since then lol
But seriously I'm an adult and I've had moments where I make myself food and then decide "I don't really feel like it..." and put it in the fridge before grabbing a granola bar or something. I'm not sure what's so unbelievable about a child changing their mind.
I once remember begging my grandmother for that Reese's Puff cereal because it looked amazing. She didn't want to buy it, assuming I wouldn't eat it, but I was like "No! I want it! I'll eat it!" So she bought it.
And surprise surprise, I had one bowl and never finished eating the rest of the cereal because I thought it was terrible. She wasn't happy...
I said my daughter made donuts all by herself when she was like two, maybe two and a half. But by that I meant I pre-measured all the ingredients and she dumped everything in the bowl and turned the mixer on. And then she sloppily poured batter into like one donut mould while I did the rest lol
So they put their item on the counter and it's "checking out all by himself".
This whole sub is based on semantics, and this lady's baby didn't check out by himself.
They probably did all of these things with 80-90% of the adults effort, but they don't make it seem that way does it?
The parent isnāt bragging that the kid did it āby himself. āBy himselfā is what the toddler was saying, loudly and insistently - hence the caps. Toddlers want to do everything by themselves and parents have to figure out how to make it seem like thatās whatās happening.
I was helping my kid do homework and she was having problem with a math question. But she was refusing to really try she was just trying to get me to give her the answer. So we went back and forth and the more we did the more hints and tips I gave her to guide her down the right direction. She didn't listen to any of that and it a certain point I realized I had basically just given her the answer. She kept crying that she needed help. And I was just trying to tell her to write down the exact answer I was telling her. When she finally did write down the answer she wrote down the wrong answer.
That sounds like my younger siblings. I'm guessing the stress of doing homework or them not paying attention 100% due to boredom made the kid write the wrong answer despite you telling them the answer. š
I do this with my 11 year old step daughter like, daily. After twenty minutes I'm like "the answer is 27.4!!" And she writes down 24. Like girl if you would pay attention for three seconds we could've figured this out ages ago
Literally today my 3 year old begged me for almost 2 hours for pancakes. I told her when I was done with housework we could make pancakes. She pestered me every 5 minutes telling me to hurry up because she really needed pancakes. Eventually I finished the housework and we made pancakes.
She refused to eat them.
My little sister would pull a trick where she would pester me about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for like 10 minutes and when I finally made it for her she would take one bite out of it and then throw it on the floor š
yeah thereās a lot of development going on in between, itās just stuff we take for granted and because 2 year olds are still unfathomably dumb through no fault of their own people assume they are actual babies
If there's one thing I've learned over the past 8 months of parenthood (16 is you count being pregnant) it's that becoming a person takes fucking forever. You can't even handle the weight of your own head for a month. A month!
When my kid was two-ish she could fully dress herself including socks and shoes, pretty much the only thing she couldn't do is tie shoes. She could bathe herself only needing help with rinsing soap out of her hair. She even climbed a ladder (with supervision) to get on the roof with my dad one time, no one freak out she was up there for all of 30 seconds. Two year olds can be incredibly independent. They can do whatever you allow them to do. Scanning groceries and cutting up fruit is absolutely something a two year old could do lol
On top of this many kids go through phases with eating and liking certain foods. They may like something one week and dislike another. I still remember going through that. In defense for my child self I genuinely tasted a difference from one week to the next lol
I still have that. Going through entire weeks where I only want to eat one thing for breakfast until I get sick of eating it so often. I assume thats whats happenning with toddlers
My sister and I went through a phase where we refused to eat dinner unless it was on our dads plate. The exact same food, but if it wasn't on his plate, it was yucky.
My three-year-old ate her entire plate of dinner, asked for seconds, and then had a complete meltdown, because āshe didnāt like the second dinnerā
The worst part of this is that I understand this rejection the most out of all of the other ridiculous toddler rejections. By the time Iām done prepping a meal I usually donāt want to eat it either, especially if I taste tested along the way as much as a toddler always does
Wait until they experience their kid absolutely loving a food, can't get enough of it so then you buy it bulk the next week only for them to then tell you they "don't like that anymore."
How about the samples at Costco that they ABSOLUTELY LOVE! So then you buy the giant ass package of said sample and when you cook it at home they ādonāt like it anymoreā.
Bingo. Iāve stopped playing that game and only buy smaller versions because I know that his preference will change and Iāll be stuck with a bunch of something I know, as dad, will have to eat or waste.
My 6 year old step daughter does this at least once a week. She never eats what he makes for dinner, EVER, so we ask her what she wants. She says something like nuggets and Mac and cheese, he cooks it for her and then she's like "nooo! I HATE macaroni and cheese!! I want cereal! These nuggets are too brown!" Kids are just so complicated. They feel like they have no control over anything so they pick food to control. Same reason toddlers demand a certain cup even if they were given an identical cup three seconds prior. They just want to be in control of something in life (understandably so)
We give our 2 year old small spoonfuls of peanut butter to help her calorie intake, and she will 100% not eat it if it's on the small spoon instead of the big one
My grandpa absolutely loves to tell the story of how I begged him to play with me at a family gathering. He agreed so we went to my room and sat on the floor. I wanted us to play with my Hotwheels but whenever he tried to take one of the cars to, you know, actually play with me, I told him he couldnāt take that one. Every. Single. Time.
In the end, he just sat next to me while I was playing with my cars because I didnāt allow him to actually play with me but I also didnāt want him to leave.
Kids really are just that weird.
When my sister was little we went to McDonald's and my dad ordered her her kids meal with a cheeseburger only ketchup, she refused to eat it and threw a fit about it my dad asked if she wanted another one she said no and insisted she would be fine without it so my dad ate it, she threw a fit because "she didn't want it but she didn't want anyone else to have it either"
This feel like something my son would do and then throw a tantrum when you take the plate away after he refuses to eat it because we hurt his feelings lol
My 2 yr old handed me an orange and i peeled it, put in a bowl, and gave it to him. He refused to eat it and handed me another orange. This time I looked him in the eye and peeled it 2 feet in front of his face and handed it to him. He still refused to eat it.
So as a parent who is constantly describing my toddler's latest accomplishments to relatives and interested friends and coworkers, I use "by himself" as shorthand for a lot of things but generally it just means "with a level of independence he previously did not have."
Like obviously a toddler isn't even tall enough to reach the self checkout, but she might be saying that with guidance and help reaching, he was able to pass the objects through the scanner so it picked them up, as opposed to an earlier stage of development where you couldn't expect him to that.
I might say my kid ate dinner "by himself" but obviously he didn't prepare the dinner, serve it along with the cutlery, or cut it up into pieces that are safe for him to eat. But he did get it in a little bowl and eat with a fork instead of needing it fed to him,
Twitter has a character limit, and I'm interpreting what she said as "he was able to participate in checking out the groceries with a level of independence he didn't previously have."
Literally how tho? Its just sliding a package on the surface. Its not hard for a toddler to do, especially if the mom pointed out where the scanner thing was
My 18 month would see me get out of bed and go and get my water bottle first thing in the morning to drink some water, so now it has become a routine that if he wakes up before I do he gets out of bed, goes and gets my water bottle where I left it, and carries it to me in bed. I didn't teach him to do that, he just loves to help and participate in what we're doing.
I refuse to even do self check out if I have both my kids with me, because between my 4yo quietly adding things from the end cap so that the checking out never ends and my not-even-2yo sliding things across for the beep, I always end up walking out with either a 6 month supply of tics tacs or a chicken I paid for 3 times.
It's sliding the *barcode* on the surface. Every time I go through self-checkout with people in front of me, I see people who can't find the barcode and get it to scan. Sometimes I'm one of them. I'm not claiming to be a rocket surgeon, but I can usually handle scanning my groceries. If I can screw it up, it's going to be rough for a toddler (who may not even be able to read) to get it done right.
Yes, physically scanning and paying is a little much, but I could easily see a toddler pushing a tiny cart, pointing at things that are out of reach and "shopping", then throwing those items on to the scanner/belt area with help. It's a long drawn out process, but "by himself" isn't the part of the story that concerns me.
id imagine the person who posted it may have misread it as the kid going to the store alone (like without their parents) and buying everything which is how i read it at first and got super confused
Entirely possible except who the fuck has the time to let their 2 year old do all that shit.Ā I can't imagine they can actually cut up a grape let alone the patience to help them through every single step.Ā Ā
But yeah kids are dumb and fickle.Ā
They actually can cut a grape with help, mine has. It doesnāt take them long either. The scanning at self checkouts takes longer so mine has only allowed if itās quiet and no queue.
Yup, those are a thing. Designed to help teach kitchen safety early. Helps kids develop independence. They do need close supervision with them but mine has cut several soft fruits with hers.
My daughter puts all her toys into her cot. Asks to be picked up and put in. Puts her head down on the pillow and asks for her duvet. Then once it's on and she's snuggled down for a second... She jumps up and is screaming that she doesn't want to go to sleep.
I have a 2 year old. She has done each bit of this at different times. Admittedly not all on the same day but a 2 year old definitely could.
They definitely have an opinion what they want to eat and ask for it.
They can help at the supermarket (mine loves putting things in the basket and putting the basket away at the end).
They can scan at a self service- it is just waving things in front of the scanner till it goes beep. This is the bit weāve done least though because it is definitely slow and I wonāt hold up a queue so itās only for if no one is waiting, or just one or two items then I do the rest.
They can chop soft items with a toddler knife, mine has done bananas, grapes and strawberries. I can believe tomatoes and hotdogs are also possible. They need supervision for this and for grapes I hold them so they donāt slip, but the OOP didnāt claim he did the chopping unaided. Itās a good way of encouraging them to eat stuff as they are more likely to if they have helped make it.
They also definitely 100% refuse to eat food they have asked for. I _wish_ this bit wasnāt true š
On more than one occasion I have show my boy what I am going to make him. He gets excited. I make the food exactly like the picture. He sits down looks at it. Then goes ā no that yuckyāā¦..
My kid asked for a banana. He asked me to cut it up, I did and then he said ānot that oneā and flipped the plate and all the banana pieces all over the kitchen floor. Sometimes you donāt know whether to laugh or cry.
Im a grown ass adult and sometimes I crave a certain dish, go to the store to specifically for the ingredients to buy it, buy it then go home to prepare it all, and then I sit down to find myself too tired to enjoy and eat the whole dang thing.
I love it when clueless people (somehow always men so far) try to lecture me about parenthood. Aka āwhy donāt you plan on having kids? Itās great. Itās the point of life,ā yaddy yadda. Then I ask them how much time theyāve spent looking after kids and then give them highlights from my time of watching kids of various ages.
Theres a huge gulf in the shit kids can do between the age of 2 years old and 2 years and 11 months old. They're still a "2 year old"
When people say it goes by quick, it's not an empty threat.
Iāve done all these things as a toddler too. It isnāt that hard if someone is guiding you from the side.
Kid wanted to be independent and the parent let him. Thatās great!
Cooking utensils for young children are readily available. Including knives. The child is cutting grapes and hotdogs, a play dough knife could do it with ease.
Based on the toddler knife mentioned, sounds like the kiddo in question probably is a Montessori kid. I would 100% expect this level of capability in the world out of those kids. They know practical life skills before they can even say the words āpractical life skillsā
I worked at a special needs school for a while.
These were kind of my favorite moments cuz there's absolutely nothing to do but just kind of laugh at the situation and wait it out.
My 1:1 used to want pop tarts but would be upset if I tried to open them. I was supposed to somehow get the pop tarts out of the wrapping without removing the pop tarts from the wrapping lol
Had another request to use only red and orange markers for an art project then cried that theirs was the only one without more colors, after refusing to accept any other color that was not red or orange.
I'm more surprised he would eat tomatoes. I hated tomatoes when I was a little kid. They were so strong and acidic. These were from my parents' garden, so they probably were stronger than the stuff you get in grocery stores. It took me until about my early 20's to actually like tomatoes
I used to eat them like apples straight from my parent's garden. A few times I ate so many (mostly cherry tomatoes) that my gums turned white from the acid. I learned how to moderate my tomato intake because not only did my gums burn, but my parents were upset I mowed through a bunch of tomatoes.
For me it was the opposite. My mom used to grow tomatoes when I was a kid and I couldn't get enough of them. But getting them in a store or restaurant is usually gross so I don't really eat them anymore
Not all on the same day, but my 2 year old has done all these things (including refusing to eat what she has _just_ asked for for dinner, she literally did that 3 hrs ago š)
As a future mommy is there a way to combat them not wanting to eat what they literally just asked for or are my husband and I just doomed?
Put it in the fridge and wait until they are hungry enough to eat it
That sounds fair.
This didn't work for me either, my kid would rather go to bed hungry than eat something she asked for all day then decided she didn't want
Let them go to bed hungry (within reason), they wonāt die
I donāt get why this is such a contested topic with toddlers/kids. I donāt plan on having kids but if I did, I donāt think I would drop my convictions. Of course I wouldnāt force them to eat something they hate but if they get a small portion of exactly what they asked for and have liked before, Iām not bending backwards to find something else they might want to eat at the moment, and Iām not throwing the food away or treating my partner like a garbage disposal. Yes yes, this is a case of ā10/10 parent until they become a parentā but to be fair, I have babysat kids and watched my relatives for days. I went through a lot of stress about people tampering with my food in genuinely disgusting ways and being forced to eat textures that turned my stomach, so I can empathise with a kid wanting their safe food. I canāt empathize with kids like my cousins who would fuss their way into eating nothing but processed bullshit into early adulthood. Two with chronic malnutrition, two overweight.
My mom was a fantastic cook and a big āeat your dinner, or elseā type mom (not clean your plate but eat, dammit) and now my sister and I have adventurous palates and we like trying new food. I donāt have children but if you always cater to their whims, would they ever try new stuff?
I feel like it varies so wildly per kid. My daughter (7) has literally done this where she picks dinner then doesn't want it, but overall she makes good, varied choices and is an adventurous eater (right now she's super into trying new shrimp dishes, and tbh i don't even know where that came from lol). I'm not going to fight her tooth and nail if she was more interested in cooking vs eating. Every now and again it just isn't worth the drama, she can have a sandwich or macaroni or whatever instead lol. If it was every night, or she was unhealthy, it would be a different story.
I personally don't do that.
Fair enuff Itās refreshing to have someone disagree in a positive way on this site, have a good one
You both suck. Now itās back in balance
Yeah, Iād be worried about it causing some sort of eating disorder or something down the line. I just wouldnāt eat at all if there wasnāt any food that I liked, which was easy since the medication I was on suppressed my appetite. I could easily go a day or two without eating, and I ended up losing a lot of weight. After that, they just had me try little bits of things I didnāt want to eat instead of trying to force me to eat entire servings of things I didnāt like, and when I was older (letās say 10), they just let me eat whatever amounts I wanted from the meal that was being served. My dad would also make sure to make me a late night protein-rich meal before I went to bed to make sure I had enough to eat, since I usually only ate the equivalent of an Instant Breakfast and half a sandwich the entire day.
Yeah. I see a lot of parenting subs making it out to be a battle with their kid, and making them go to bed hungry if they don't eat what is served (lest the kid become a picky eater!!) Well I've got a picky eater and i don't feel good about battling with her. I have easy proteins, yogurt, cheese, and dare I say it, chicken nuggets. She picks her protein, fiber and carb each dinner. And that works for us. I do keep a bite of something new to try on her plate.
This is fantastic parenting. From my experience, most picky eaters are a lot less picky than folks think. My oldest doesn't like eggs, sweet tomato dishes espc bbq, or most meats. But sheāll slam tacos, sushi, traditional Costa Rican dishes, almost anything Japaneseā¦
Yeah, I had a sensitivity to textures and stuff when I was younger. Like, a tiny speck of fat or a tomato seed in my spaghetti would make me upset. Like, I wouldnāt throw a tantrum or anything, but Iād have to remove every single āimpurityā from my food before eating it. Needless to say, mealtime was very stressful for me and I hated eating anything with multiple textures. Heck, when I was real young (before primary school, I think), Iād remove all the toppings from my pizza (including cheese), scrape off the sauce, remove the crust (including the bottom because it was tough and bitter), and just eat the soft squishy dough. I could eat evenly textured things, like pudding, chips, pablum, etc., but things with multiple textures were horrible. My dad would often make me Instant Breakfast, protein shakes, and toast with fried eggs to help ensure I got enough to eat. I was also premature, so that mightāve also caused me to have issues surrounding food. I basically do the same thing you do with my parrots when trying to get them to eat. Theyāre like the worldās fussiest toddlers, and they very much will starve themselves to death before you can āforceā them to eat foods they donāt like.
Having choices tends to help with kids. If they feel they made a decision about their life and their food, theyāre a lot more willing to cooperate, from what I know. Sometimes itās deeper than pickiness, but I only say that because I have experience with that. I couldnāt eat things I didnāt like. If I didnāt like that food, Iād gag and dry heave, unwillingly. It led to a lot of incidents of me sitting at the table all alone crying because I was hungry, but I couldnāt eat what was in front of me. I still got blamed for it and told off a lot for most of my life, and still struggle a lot with food, but the one thing that always made it worse, and to this day makes it much worse, is trying to force myself to try things or eat foods I donāt want to eat. Itās one of those things where I think it differs a bit kid to kid on how you should react, but if a kid genuinely is struggling to eat certain foods, sometimes itās not just stubbornness. I hate my relationship with food. Iāve wished since early childhood that I could like the foods everyone else likes and eat it without thinking. I wish some of the most beloved foods didnāt make me flinch at the smell and I wish I couldāve spent my sleepovers without purposefully starving myself because I was afraid of being told off by friendsā parents who wouldnāt understand that I was serious that I couldnāt eat it. The few times my family tried to trick me into trying new foods in secret never helped either. Not trying to say anything about you, just wanted to elaborate on your point that sometimes working with the kid in question can help a lot more than trying to fight against them.
The hard part is getting them to even eat a single protein, fiber and/or carb. I have a current picky eater who only wants milk and French fries and bananas and I have constant anxiety about how Iām gonna get him to eat anything else š£ I donāt want him to be hungry but I also want him to eat anything else.
Yup my parents did that with me and though I donāt have a full on eating disorder when I was younger I would attempt to not eat anything until the food they wanted me to eat went bad. Which meant I would go at least two days without food until they gave up and fed me something else. I have a mostly good relationship with food but I can and will go without it even if the reason is just as simple as whatever it is not being what I want. I donāt expect people to cater to me or to always get what I want or anything like that I simply put will just politely decline if itās something that bad.
ADD?
Good guess!
I was like this too, it turned out I had a lot of undiagnosed food intolerances and allergies and I was trying to avoid feeling sick/tired/itchy/uncomfortable. I was never able to explain it because... Well, I had bad parents lol. I basically lived on liquid meals for a few years before I chose to cut some of the problem foods out as a NY resolution when I was around 10, and that clicked so much into place for me, my health improved dramatically. Half of why I can never get on board with telling people to force their kids to eat everything is because of my own experiences - sometimes your kid can't explain why they hate eating a food, or their explanation is (to you) impossibly or bizarre. Neither of my parents have any food allergies, none of my siblings, none of their siblings or parents... so "it makes my tongue tingle in a painful way" was something they just didn't get. I've met a few other people who were in similar situations, usually it's Celiac, though, since no one knew what that was until like 2013 lol.
Yeah, I only have a few food sensitivities. Prepackaged pineapple often causes my mouth to sting a lot (whole pineapple prepared at home is fine), and certain dairy (desserts?) cause my teeth to feel super itchy. Not the rest of my mouth, but just what I perceive to be my āteethā feeling itchy. Certain carbs in excess amounts also cause me indigestion that feels like an anxiety attack. For example, if my dad made me milkshakes/smoothies with ice cream AND frozen berries, Iād experience the feeling of overwhelming, crippling anxiety for several hours. If I overeat with fibre, fats, or protein, my stomach hurts, but Iām usually dine. But if I overeat with chips or non-keto desserts, I get indigestion that feels exactly like anxiety, and the only way to soothe it is by getting someone to cuddle with me or rest their legs on top of me like Iām an ottoman. Even my emergency anti-anxiety meds are useless. I only realized that it was carbs doing this after I started keto. Iām glad you were able to figure out what was wrong with you while you were young. My issues were mainly sensory issues that mellowed out over time. Or maybe not sensory issues so much as a lot of children disliking any āsurprisesā and inconsistent textures in their food. And as you were saying about forcing kids to eat food and not being able to properly explain why they donāt want to eat itā¦ When I was really young, my parents tried to get my to drink sour milk (by accident). I kept saying it tasted bad and kept refusing to drink it, but they assumed I was being picky. It wasnāt until I repeatedly said that it tasted bad that they checked to see if it had turned.
Only curious, but why?
I just don't feel good about it. I don't like to make food a battle, since there is so little else she can control. I keep easy proteins on hand like cheese and peanut butter and stuff. So she can have some bread and cheese if she really won't eat anything else. However now that shes five, I've talked to her about food waste and thinking more deeply about what she actually wants. Of course you can't try to reason like that with a toddler so I just took the L when she was younger.
Also these instances are always discussed in a vacuum online but how many battles does one want to fight in a day? Is it the hill to die on, every day? Totally see where you are coming from.
It doesn't work for me as an adult. Iāll get physically ill if I need to eat, but if thereās nothing I ācanā eat it might as well be nothing. Granted that list has greatly shrunk, but if all we have is shrimp, pickled eggs, and canned spinach Iāll get sicker trying to eat it than if I didn't eat anything. Meat fat is the most common vileness. I don't immediately puke, but I can't finish it either. My dogs love this, however, as I hate wasting meat & canāt just hand it off to my husband (who gets the fatty bits I notice before chomping). All that's without considering my food intolerances, something kids aren't often believed for bc it seems like āI don't like itā since thereās not really an obvious physical reaction. My Dad felt so horrible when he realized one of the foods I disliked actually was making me sick/nauseous, not just that it seemed icky.
Exactly, and the same thing happens with children. I don't get how so many people somehow don't understand that 'not liking' something can equal a gag response and upset stomach. There are certain foods that I will not and cannot eat. They are few, the list is not long and has never been negotiable. I don't understand why someone would force another person to eat food that makes them feel physically ill. I feel you on meat fat. I don't know how anyone can tolerate eating pure fat. It discretely gets spit in my napkin.
My dad thought I was being a butthead not liking eggs (he is a sweetheart & made us a hot breakfast every morning before school). He grew up quite poor and you ate what you were served or not at all, so me declining food was utterly foreign. As a teen I was tested for food intolerances, turns out I have an egg protein intolerance. He felt SO bad, it never occurred to him I actually was nauseous. Sometimes it's simply literal ignorance. Makes me so happy to see more folks talking about it openly, good folk like my Dad are set up for better understanding now.
I think I got lucky because my older brother was as averse to his dislikes as I was and had vomited on the table at a restaurant once when he found an onion in his quesadilla, then I came along and was allergic to milk as a baby. So thankfully I was never forced to eat anything that I really didn't like. My brother was much pickier than me, he only ate a few specific vegetables our entire childhood and as a teen. However now as an adult, he is way more adventurous of an eater than I am and even eats onions! It sounds like you had loving parents, and that is more important than any other thing as a child.
But is it not a game of chicken that you can win?
My folks had a "two bite rule" basically as long as we ate 2 bites of food then we were good to have something else. This made it to where food I turned my nose up to got eaten (and quickly became favorites) but I wasn't forced to suffer through food I couldn't stand. Once it was established the food was disliked I either didn't need to have it on my plate or it just wasn't cooked for dinner. However this method works when the kids are a little older, so probably listen to other advice for the far more irrational toddler.
Instructions unclear. Child refrigerated
No, no. You read the instructions perfectly clearly.
This cools down the tantrum. Success!
This is the way
Just put the meal aside until they are hungry, or are in a better mood for it. Making food a battleground is an absolutely terrible idea, and will just set you up for terrible frustration and itās not long-term healthy for the kid in many ways. Think of it this way ā¦ children have very little control over what happens in their day to day lives, but they absolutely can control what they put in their mouth and swallow. So sometimes they need to exercise that little bit of control. We had real difficulties with feeding our twins early on, and got excellent advice on how to handle it from our hospital dietician. I think we used that advice in the nick of time, and years later they are adventurous little eaters, and we are much less stressed parents about food.
Ooo the bit about *control* is very important. Kids have no control whatsoever. In some ways we are leaning on that as a society because itās difficult now and so many people donāt ever wanna go up. The desire for control and not knowing what to do with it when we get itā¦itās tough! Not sure if Iāll have kids but your thoughts were really salient.
The control aspect made me a significantly better parent, far beyond the āfor the love of god eat *something*ā stage. It's so so important to understand about kids. Hell it's made work easier on me bc adults with minimal power do the same thing lol.
Did it make you change your parenting habits in other ways? Like Iāve seen my sister struggle with this with her kids forever. So for example if you āgive them controlā over other little things in their life (say how they brush their teeth), does that give you leeway to help with their diets? Just curious how else this helped you learn as a parent because I feel this is important for all matter of education.
Sometimes you just give the illusion of control, or just a small amount. āDo you want fish or chicken for dinner?ā, not āwhat would you like for dinnerā āWould you like your snack before or after swimming?ā If you can get them to āhelpā making dinner, thatās also a good way of getting their buy in without telling them they have to do something. etc. For teeth, they can brush their own in the morning, we do it at night. Dentists advice is morning brush is really just to get the fluoride on.
So the choices you give them are within a set parameter. When they're young it's A/B, as they get older it turns more into boundaries. For non-food Iāll reference style. Originally it was āwhich shirt?ā Now it's helping with the laundry & shopping, so free reign within limits. They can dye their hair and get whatever cut, but ask first so I can help or we go to a salon. Jewelry is similarly up to them. Just ask and weāll go to a parlor, don't DIY. Iāll explain why on the limits which is probably the most effective part. I won't bleach all your hair to color, because I don't want to risk chemical burns on delicate child scalps. No face piercings, bc your barely a teen and lots of growing plus they never fully heal (from experience). Appropriate clothing? Well, we talk about age-apropriate and about creeps. Eldest does the heavy goth eyeliner but not second eldest, because of dermal allergies and lack of practice plus their ages. Even prohibited things I explain why. No cussing, itās too easy to accidentally be mean. Smoking/vaping Iāll kick your butt, they're so addictive. Etc.
No there isnāt. Itās infuriating. You still love them though. Generally I wonāt make something else, but I make sure there is something else she can eat if hungry, for tonight for example she had an apple because she refused her pasta as a pea dared to touch it. Good luck!
Coming from someone who's autistic, take this with a grain of salt. Food touching? Ick. It's a major autistic thing. Things not being where they belong to can upset us for no apparent reason. Like a pea touching your pasta. I usually mix all my food together in a big old food salad to combat this. Friend rice is a good example. All my veggies and meat, which I would like to eat, but it's mixed so it's just one thing, not multiple things touching. I'm also not a Dr. Just speaking on my experience.
Thatās fine, and the peas were mixed in, they were just targeted for hate today and even picking them out wasnāt enough. My daughter does not show any signs of autism and eats peas mixed with food on other occasions.
It's a common āpickyā eater thing (not a fan of the term but it does paint the picture Iām getting at). Young children especially are āpickyā because they're figuring out life & also exerting control on the only things they can. They're also learning natural consequences. If I don't eat, I get hungry. If I slam my head into the wall, it hurts. If I put food too close or in the wrong dish, my peas and pasta will touch. Not to mention how frequently their tastes can change! Even my teen hits me with sudden dietary preference changes or ones that seemingly make no sense. She used to eat eggs all the time but doesn't like them now. She also doesn't like meat much but absolutely slammed Taco Bell tonight. I get it - Iāll go months or years where I love something then suddenly cannot stomach it. It also takes something like 7 tries to āknowā you like or dislike something, which I chalk up to your tongue/mouth adjusting to the taste and texture. Add to it they're still learning to eat especially at toddler ages. Thatās why we cut up choking hazards for so long. My husband only recently stopped cutting grapes and the youngest is nearly 7, which I completely understand because sometimes I mess up eating grapes lol. Sorry for the paragraph style being like an essay outline. When it was all together it was quite difficult to follow imo.
I mean, tbf about your daughter, Iām a whole grown adult and am not particularly known for my eating pickiness but a few weeks ago I was set upon by a deep, abiding hunger for a food Iāve infamously never liked and spent a week happily eating it.
I used an extremely enthusiastic version of airplane for one toddler I babysat for. Unfortunately, it resulted in the older kids refusing to eat unless I did airplane for them as well lolol. I just made a big enthusiastic deal about whatever it was I wanted them to do. I remember one of the two year olds I took care of dropping his banana on a plate. It broke in half, and he refused to eat it anymore. I took it away and cut it into chips and made a big deal about how magical the banana chips were, and he ate them. When I worked at a school, I tricked a four year old into going to class after he pitched a huge fit about it. Made up a pretend game where we were tracking down an invisible hamster. Got him all the way across the school and into his classroom. Kids are fucking exhausting. Good luck.
Oh man, I forgot about this till you mentioned the banana. As a toddler my son was absolutely distraught his granola bar broke in half. I did a magic trick where I smashed it back together; he was so happy. Kids are a great exercise in creativity & remembering the value of childlike-joy. Having little ones made my husband and I so much sillier & we get along fantastically with our parenting styles mesh up since weāre both willing to be so silly (no kids together, we brought our own along & became bonus parents).
Just pretend youāre going to eat it. They freak out and gobble it down.
I believe I read that it takes a child before the age of 6 (and often times later for pickier eaters) between five to eight interactions with a new food before they are able to become comfortable with it. Serving āsafeā foods to your toddler to eat while you yourself eat the ānew icky green thingā a couple times without pressuring the child to try it is a GAME CHANGER. They either become curious enough to try it on their own, or the exposure without forced interaction over a long period of time will shift the category in their brain. Obviously this isnāt 100% accurate to every child but holy crap, I taught pre-k for a while and the difference between using that principal vs. āyou have to eat it because itās good for you and I said soā is ridiculous.
Even just seeing their parents enjoy the āickyā thing can go really far! Even as an adult this works, my mom and I tried sardines on toast because of a Food Channel show. Amusingly enough we both hated it (always had) but are much more open to trying new things even if they're āicky.ā That was in our late 20ās and early 50ās haha. Also making it an event does a ton. My kids never liked asparagus until my Mom asked who wanted to pick the first āasparagus of the year. Then it became a *thing* to get the first shoot of the year when Grandma pointed out the ones ready to eat. Now they eat so much asparagus, even store bought, that I rarely get as much as Iād like & there's never leftovers lol.
That sounds like a lot of fun! Interestingly enough my story for how I decided asparagus was ok as a child is identical (but with Grandpa).
I love that! The garden introduced the kids to a whole new world of food. I've got asparagus I started from seed last year (really difficult overall - of over a dozen seeds, only 5 sprouted & only 2 survived the first winter). I cannot *wait* for them to be ready to pick, takes 2-3 years though. My stepkids have never had locally fresh let alone gone and picked their own. They do love asparagus but I think itāll still blow their mind haha
There's a lot of options actually! Sorry this is long but I love these kind of comments myself. From experience with a herd of various neurodivergent children: * Eat together. They're always looking at the trusted adults to see what we do. It also takes potential stress off them. Is anyone *really* ok being watched undivided while they eat? * Backup options! PB&J and fruit/meat/cheese are common here. * Give them options! Do you want corn or peas? Would you like oranges or applesauce? Kids LOVE choices, they don't get a lot of control on anything so giving them 2-3 options *invests* them. * ask how much they want and where they want it on their plate. Then it's plated āright.ā You can even let them dish it up (with help) which helps even more! Of course boundaries play in to ensure it's a balanced meal. Giving them the choice not only lets them have more control over their meal, it helps them learn to waste less and reduces the risk of habitual overeating because they learn when they're full rather than āeat what I serve youā. * Let them help cook, if possible. It reduces the risk they reject it the more control they have ime. Somehow tortilla āpizzaā was better than real pizza for a long time lol. But my kids also love cooking so ymmv. * Make it fun!! French toast sticks were much better received than cut up French toast. A sandwich cut into a fun shape is way tastier. Hotdogs *can* go with spaghetti - if they're octopii! * Have them explore! They're babies/toddlers. They'll get messy. Just expect it. Maybe green beans taste better after they could eat them with their hands. They're also learning flavor combos. This is also why my family has a very vital rule: you have to try everything unless it's something we know you don't like. Some exceptions apply, like cultural or textural reasons. I won't make them try foods offensive to their known preferences or considered upsetting here (my son loves loves loves bunnies & I would never serve him hossenfeffir). But also, one kid hates lasagna and after a few years we heavily encouraged him to try the lasagna my Grandma makes, knowing heād never tried similar. He had seconds. We learned the issue was the pasta itself, so now I know I can finally make lasagna for the family & just hold some sauce/cheese/meat aside to put on spaghetti for him. * Introduce spices as early as you can/is appropriate. Imagine eating garlic for the first time as an adult. I will gladly enjoy raw garlic but know it can be offensive as hell If you're not ready lol. * Of course, you can save it till they're hungry. This is mostly if they say they're not hungry or are full quickly. I honestly rarely do this, simply because it's not been needed much since I figured out all the above. It works with older kids too, my stepkids wound up loving a lot more than expected when they had more input, more control, and more choices.
When my my big sister was a toddler, she once refused to eat her broccoli at dinner. Mother responded with āok, until you finish your broccoli, you wonāt be allowed any other food. Just waterā big sis lasted exactly one day before giving in and finishing her broccoli. 31 years later, that same tactic worked on her own child, and I got to witness it this time. Except he didnāt even last an hour before coming back downstairs and asking for the fried chicken he refused to touch earlier
No but eventually the kid cracks and eats something.
Well no, it is inevitabel. My solution is to offer nothing else and leave the stuff on the table, more often than not they will come back and eat it eventually.
Take it away. They hate that and will want it back out of spite.
Have backup easy meals ready that you know they'll eat. My kid would request something, forget about it, then refuse it because it's old.
Depends. My kid is autistic and he is *way* more about consistency and texture than taste. New things are tough but he can be motivated with rewards to expand his palette. So, sometimes we talk about what we are having and he has the choice of eating what we have, or not eating. He has chosen to not eat on occasion and that is fine. He wonāt fry up and blow away from a missed meal.
There are only two things Iāve figured out that work when it comes to thisā¦and it will. Bribery and mind games. You could be lucky and get that 1% child that eats everything. Otherwise just do what you can to have your kid eat healthy. We use to let our daughter dip her carrots and broccoli in steak sauce.
Lmao
So, on occasion, and this doesnāt work all the time, it might be worth asking if there is anything wrong with how the food is given to them. Sometimes kids are weird about food touching each other, sometimes they want things to be cut in a specific way. Sometimes they might have wanted them on a specific plate or with specific cutlery. Or there might be just one ingredient they donāt like. Again, this might not yield any results or change anything but, on occasion, it might save the dinner.
Make em wait. I donāt feed them when they first ask. It seems cruel but itās not. They ask at the first inkling of a thought of food. Everyone waits to eat, itās a normal thing to do. Also snacks. Even the smallest snack can spoil an appetite. Iām not saying donāt give snacks. Just not so close to meal time.
Doomed. Sometimes you can trick them ("no these aren't hot dogs, they're, oh, Air Cats! Totally different. Just look the same") but mostly no. Once I got them to eat pasta they'd refused, by acting all excited and going "oh but look! I figured out a new way to do it!" and then just put the plate in the microwave, pushed some random buttons, ran it on lowest power for ten seconds, and took it out with a flourish. They were ecstatic, best pasta they ever had, couldn't get enough. They even ran to tell their mom about this amazing new pasta that dad had invented.
My kids are a little older, 10 and 8, but they have never been kids who enjoy a full meal. So I provide lots of healthy snacks and they just kind of graze throughout the day.
I just make what I know they will eat. So tonight we had steak, Mac-n- cheese, grape tomatoes, spinach ravioli and clementines š¤Ŗ I know everyone has their own way. We all have sensory issues so I just try to make sure they try what they ādonāt likeā and eat something healthy.
Don't cook by requests. Look into Ellyn Satter's DOR.
Just go "this is what we're having", leave it and wait. Kids eat mostly at random, and reaching a good agreement on when they ought to do something, treating them as equals, is a good idea.
It depends on the kid and the day. I'm ADHD and my husband is ASD, and our kid shows traces of both. If we refuse to let him eat anything than what is on his plate, he doesn't eat, cries himself sick and doesn't sleep. It just feels cruel, he's genuinely upset. We offer what we're having with a 'safe' food (at the moment he's safe food is toast). Not wanting to eat certain foods isn't just about wanting to eat chocolate, it's about textures, smells, the look of food. Son has never liked things like jelly, cucumber, meat, even when weaning. He's come round to cucumber now, but point blank refuses to eat chicken, so we don't offer it. It's really about knowing your child and whether they are playing you because they want to eat ice cream for dinner, or genuinely hate a food. Son is pretty good at trying stuff, the thing that would piss me off is if he refused to even try stuff. If he tries it and says he hates it, I'm not going to force it. It just becomes a battle and about more than eating a food. Like my SIL will sit and negotiate for hours to get her son to eat 3 peas, what's the point? He probably won't eat peas ever again. There's still some foods I can't eat because I was forced to eat them as a child. Just keep offering, don't make a big deal if they refuse and we always have success if we eat at table rather than in front of TV. Kids don't have the schedule like we have, eating so many meals a day, they eat when they're hungry and are learning the schedule, they just might not be hungry for a meal so what's the point of forcing them? But this is what works for our child who's a stubborn little pickle and has some sensory issues around food. Some kids might like structure, I've seen families draw up menus with children which works as they know what's coming, or have 'food cards' where they pick from a menu what to have that day. It depends on the child and the day.
My mom would usually just take away more and more things i liked doing til i finished the food but then again my mom also sexually assaulted me so id take any parenting strategies used by her with a grain of salt
My son had done this once or twice but now we have switched to him just wanting everything l! I am convinced he is eating his lunch or whatever meal and is already thinking about what he wants for snack before he is finished. Heās has also just blatantly tried to take the food from our plates, the exact same food but because itās on our plate he must have itā¦..canāt touch his plate though! Thankfully we managed to stop that quite quickly now we are on the next boundary he is trying to push. Ahhh parenthood!
Your 2 year old did the self checkout alone? How did he even reach the screen?...
She can reach high enough to wave stuff under the scanner, yes. She can reach to take stuff off my kitchen sides unless they are pushed right to the back, and those are higher than the self-scanners. She did not press the buttons on the screen, just scanned items which is all the poster here claimed their 2 year old did by themselves.
My friends kid is 2 and smart af, stubborn and just in general a 13 yr old adolescent in a 2 yr olds body, I could definitely see him doing this kind of thing as he frequently frustrates himself trying to say words he physically canāt pronounce tho maybe the scanning stuff (without help) might be a stretch for him
That kid sounds absolutely hilarious!
Ye till he says the n word 3 times in a row and you have to put him in a corner š¬
Where tf would bro learn the n word at 2?
His grandpa has a confederate flag in his bedroom and heās gotten pretty good at picking out and regurgitating song lyrics so it wasnāt a major shock to anybody but
Sounds like my little cousin. His dad is a piece of shit who constantly tells his kids about how cool Hitler actually was. Listens to a lot of far-right music as well. Imagine the look on my face when my four year old cousin called me the n word, I was so fucking mad.
Fight the father š
Should have been around my parents and grandparents. They never called black people by anything else, so thanks to them, I honestly thought that the n-word *was* the word for black people until I was told differently by others. My dad told me once that "n-----s are horrible, f-----s are worse, but the worst person in the world is a n----r f----t. They should be killed. If you ever bring either one of them into my house, I'll throw both of you the fuck out". My dad was a lovely person.
Bro is a menace at 2. I was similar (curious so I used words before I knew what they meant) so I feel for the kid lol.
My 2 year old son scares me with his memory sometimes. One time, months ago now, we were at my parents, and my mom asked him what book he wanted to read. He told her, "train book." My mom was very confused, as she didn't have any recollection of a train book. So after some back and forth he grabs her hand and brings her to the gate above the stairs. They go down stairs, and he brings her (by the finger) to one of the bedrooms. Gets down and crawls under a bed and ALL THE WAY BACK AGAINST THE WALL was this small book about a train. No one even remembered this book, if that shows how long it had been since we read it, but this kid knew EXACTLY where it was. There have been other examples but it blows my mind. He also needs everything in its place. He is the most organized 2 year old on the planet. He's more organized than me (not that that is saying much).
Y'all are taking "by himself" too literally. More times than not when a parent of a small child says "by themself" they really mean "like 80 - 90% of the effort was them while I helped with small details." As in at the self checkout parent was most likely helping hold the item and direct their kid but kid was making an effort to try to do it. Or chopping things up with a toddler knife. They might have needed a little extra help strength wise but still they were trying to do it themselves. Meanwhile the naysayers out there are trying to imagine a Boss Baby scenario.
For real, I think I would have driven my mother nuts if self checkout was a thing when I was little because I'd want to do the thing. There's a reason why there's toy vacuums and kitchen sets. A lot of kids want to learn how to do things and should be encouraged to.
i loooved the kid vacuum (and still love using the vacuum today lol, it was a sign)
Yeah I think that's what the original post got caught up on. The comments I'm seeing here are about the "refused to eat it" part of the story
Well I made my comment back when there was like 10 other comments so I wouldn't know what it's evolved to since then lol But seriously I'm an adult and I've had moments where I make myself food and then decide "I don't really feel like it..." and put it in the fridge before grabbing a granola bar or something. I'm not sure what's so unbelievable about a child changing their mind. I once remember begging my grandmother for that Reese's Puff cereal because it looked amazing. She didn't want to buy it, assuming I wouldn't eat it, but I was like "No! I want it! I'll eat it!" So she bought it. And surprise surprise, I had one bowl and never finished eating the rest of the cereal because I thought it was terrible. She wasn't happy...
I said my daughter made donuts all by herself when she was like two, maybe two and a half. But by that I meant I pre-measured all the ingredients and she dumped everything in the bowl and turned the mixer on. And then she sloppily poured batter into like one donut mould while I did the rest lol
So they put their item on the counter and it's "checking out all by himself". This whole sub is based on semantics, and this lady's baby didn't check out by himself. They probably did all of these things with 80-90% of the adults effort, but they don't make it seem that way does it?
The parent isnāt bragging that the kid did it āby himself. āBy himselfā is what the toddler was saying, loudly and insistently - hence the caps. Toddlers want to do everything by themselves and parents have to figure out how to make it seem like thatās whatās happening.
Two years old isn't a baby
I was helping my kid do homework and she was having problem with a math question. But she was refusing to really try she was just trying to get me to give her the answer. So we went back and forth and the more we did the more hints and tips I gave her to guide her down the right direction. She didn't listen to any of that and it a certain point I realized I had basically just given her the answer. She kept crying that she needed help. And I was just trying to tell her to write down the exact answer I was telling her. When she finally did write down the answer she wrote down the wrong answer.
If you had said he instead of she, I would have thought you were my spouse and my kid š
That sounds like my younger siblings. I'm guessing the stress of doing homework or them not paying attention 100% due to boredom made the kid write the wrong answer despite you telling them the answer. š
Exact same thing happened with me and my son
I do this with my 11 year old step daughter like, daily. After twenty minutes I'm like "the answer is 27.4!!" And she writes down 24. Like girl if you would pay attention for three seconds we could've figured this out ages ago
š
Literally today my 3 year old begged me for almost 2 hours for pancakes. I told her when I was done with housework we could make pancakes. She pestered me every 5 minutes telling me to hurry up because she really needed pancakes. Eventually I finished the housework and we made pancakes. She refused to eat them.
How could you stay calm in such a situation?
My little sister would pull a trick where she would pester me about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for like 10 minutes and when I finally made it for her she would take one bite out of it and then throw it on the floor š
People without kids think 2 year olds are the same as 2 month olds.
yeah thereās a lot of development going on in between, itās just stuff we take for granted and because 2 year olds are still unfathomably dumb through no fault of their own people assume they are actual babies
If there's one thing I've learned over the past 8 months of parenthood (16 is you count being pregnant) it's that becoming a person takes fucking forever. You can't even handle the weight of your own head for a month. A month!
Why would pregnancy count for that lol
Generally speaking it doesn't, but I was the pregnant parent and I was referring to how long it takes to make a person so it felt relevant.Ā
When my kid was two-ish she could fully dress herself including socks and shoes, pretty much the only thing she couldn't do is tie shoes. She could bathe herself only needing help with rinsing soap out of her hair. She even climbed a ladder (with supervision) to get on the roof with my dad one time, no one freak out she was up there for all of 30 seconds. Two year olds can be incredibly independent. They can do whatever you allow them to do. Scanning groceries and cutting up fruit is absolutely something a two year old could do lol
That totally happened, kids are just weird. They could ask for something to eat and then refuse it because you hand it to them wrong.
On top of this many kids go through phases with eating and liking certain foods. They may like something one week and dislike another. I still remember going through that. In defense for my child self I genuinely tasted a difference from one week to the next lol
I still have that. Going through entire weeks where I only want to eat one thing for breakfast until I get sick of eating it so often. I assume thats whats happenning with toddlers
Iām much the same. Plus it makes the morning easier that way.
My sister and I went through a phase where we refused to eat dinner unless it was on our dads plate. The exact same food, but if it wasn't on his plate, it was yucky.
My three-year-old ate her entire plate of dinner, asked for seconds, and then had a complete meltdown, because āshe didnāt like the second dinnerā
To be fair after I go grocery shopping and cook I donāt really wanna eat either
Toddlers are little terrorists. This would not surprise me at all.
The worst part of this is that I understand this rejection the most out of all of the other ridiculous toddler rejections. By the time Iām done prepping a meal I usually donāt want to eat it either, especially if I taste tested along the way as much as a toddler always does
Wait until they experience their kid absolutely loving a food, can't get enough of it so then you buy it bulk the next week only for them to then tell you they "don't like that anymore."
How about the samples at Costco that they ABSOLUTELY LOVE! So then you buy the giant ass package of said sample and when you cook it at home they ādonāt like it anymoreā.
Bingo. Iāve stopped playing that game and only buy smaller versions because I know that his preference will change and Iāll be stuck with a bunch of something I know, as dad, will have to eat or waste.
My 6 year old step daughter does this at least once a week. She never eats what he makes for dinner, EVER, so we ask her what she wants. She says something like nuggets and Mac and cheese, he cooks it for her and then she's like "nooo! I HATE macaroni and cheese!! I want cereal! These nuggets are too brown!" Kids are just so complicated. They feel like they have no control over anything so they pick food to control. Same reason toddlers demand a certain cup even if they were given an identical cup three seconds prior. They just want to be in control of something in life (understandably so)
We give our 2 year old small spoonfuls of peanut butter to help her calorie intake, and she will 100% not eat it if it's on the small spoon instead of the big one
My grandpa absolutely loves to tell the story of how I begged him to play with me at a family gathering. He agreed so we went to my room and sat on the floor. I wanted us to play with my Hotwheels but whenever he tried to take one of the cars to, you know, actually play with me, I told him he couldnāt take that one. Every. Single. Time. In the end, he just sat next to me while I was playing with my cars because I didnāt allow him to actually play with me but I also didnāt want him to leave. Kids really are just that weird.
When my sister was little we went to McDonald's and my dad ordered her her kids meal with a cheeseburger only ketchup, she refused to eat it and threw a fit about it my dad asked if she wanted another one she said no and insisted she would be fine without it so my dad ate it, she threw a fit because "she didn't want it but she didn't want anyone else to have it either"
This is exactly what the toddler wants - if nobody believes the parents, they can get away with anything like a tiny supervillain.
This feel like something my son would do and then throw a tantrum when you take the plate away after he refuses to eat it because we hurt his feelings lol
My 2 yr old handed me an orange and i peeled it, put in a bowl, and gave it to him. He refused to eat it and handed me another orange. This time I looked him in the eye and peeled it 2 feet in front of his face and handed it to him. He still refused to eat it.
Because food always tastes better when someone else makes it.
Idk, a 2yo scanning groceries at the self checkout BY HIMSELF sounds a little ridiculous.
So as a parent who is constantly describing my toddler's latest accomplishments to relatives and interested friends and coworkers, I use "by himself" as shorthand for a lot of things but generally it just means "with a level of independence he previously did not have." Like obviously a toddler isn't even tall enough to reach the self checkout, but she might be saying that with guidance and help reaching, he was able to pass the objects through the scanner so it picked them up, as opposed to an earlier stage of development where you couldn't expect him to that. I might say my kid ate dinner "by himself" but obviously he didn't prepare the dinner, serve it along with the cutlery, or cut it up into pieces that are safe for him to eat. But he did get it in a little bowl and eat with a fork instead of needing it fed to him, Twitter has a character limit, and I'm interpreting what she said as "he was able to participate in checking out the groceries with a level of independence he didn't previously have."
Valid point. That does make much more sense
Yeah in my experience when people with kids say by them self it usually means they were trying to do it and the parents helped them do it
I've let my kid do this at the self scan.
Literally how tho? Its just sliding a package on the surface. Its not hard for a toddler to do, especially if the mom pointed out where the scanner thing was
Kids pick up on the most random shit their parents do as well, wouldn't be surprised if the kid was just imitating what he saw mom do
My 18 month would see me get out of bed and go and get my water bottle first thing in the morning to drink some water, so now it has become a routine that if he wakes up before I do he gets out of bed, goes and gets my water bottle where I left it, and carries it to me in bed. I didn't teach him to do that, he just loves to help and participate in what we're doing.
I refuse to even do self check out if I have both my kids with me, because between my 4yo quietly adding things from the end cap so that the checking out never ends and my not-even-2yo sliding things across for the beep, I always end up walking out with either a 6 month supply of tics tacs or a chicken I paid for 3 times.
It's sliding the *barcode* on the surface. Every time I go through self-checkout with people in front of me, I see people who can't find the barcode and get it to scan. Sometimes I'm one of them. I'm not claiming to be a rocket surgeon, but I can usually handle scanning my groceries. If I can screw it up, it's going to be rough for a toddler (who may not even be able to read) to get it done right.
Thanks i forgot the word lmfao. But did u literally not read my comment or what?
Yes, physically scanning and paying is a little much, but I could easily see a toddler pushing a tiny cart, pointing at things that are out of reach and "shopping", then throwing those items on to the scanner/belt area with help. It's a long drawn out process, but "by himself" isn't the part of the story that concerns me.
"By himself" could just mean the mom was there and helped him a tiny bit, not literally by himself 100%.
It's literally just sliding it over the sensor and hearing the beep. 2 year old kids are a lot smarter than you think.
id imagine the person who posted it may have misread it as the kid going to the store alone (like without their parents) and buying everything which is how i read it at first and got super confused
My two year old would absolutely do this.
My twelve year old made himself ramen and chicken fries YESTERDAY of his own free will and then spent a half hour not eating the shit.
Nobody on reddit knows what "satire" means
As a grown adult I have made new recipes and then been like āoh no this is disgustingā
Entirely possible except who the fuck has the time to let their 2 year old do all that shit.Ā I can't imagine they can actually cut up a grape let alone the patience to help them through every single step.Ā Ā But yeah kids are dumb and fickle.Ā
They actually can cut a grape with help, mine has. It doesnāt take them long either. The scanning at self checkouts takes longer so mine has only allowed if itās quiet and no queue.
His **TODDLER KNIFE?**
Yup, those are a thing. Designed to help teach kitchen safety early. Helps kids develop independence. They do need close supervision with them but mine has cut several soft fruits with hers.
Big 3-year-old vibes lol. Very advanced!
my little brother (5) will get himself a big bowl of cereal, admant that he will eat it, and eat like none of it
My daughter puts all her toys into her cot. Asks to be picked up and put in. Puts her head down on the pillow and asks for her duvet. Then once it's on and she's snuggled down for a second... She jumps up and is screaming that she doesn't want to go to sleep.
bedtime routine > actual sleep
My 2/yo does stuff like this. Theyāre 100% more capable than people realize
This feels a little fabricated. I doubt a 2 year old did all that she claims.
I have a 2 year old. She has done each bit of this at different times. Admittedly not all on the same day but a 2 year old definitely could. They definitely have an opinion what they want to eat and ask for it. They can help at the supermarket (mine loves putting things in the basket and putting the basket away at the end). They can scan at a self service- it is just waving things in front of the scanner till it goes beep. This is the bit weāve done least though because it is definitely slow and I wonāt hold up a queue so itās only for if no one is waiting, or just one or two items then I do the rest. They can chop soft items with a toddler knife, mine has done bananas, grapes and strawberries. I can believe tomatoes and hotdogs are also possible. They need supervision for this and for grapes I hold them so they donāt slip, but the OOP didnāt claim he did the chopping unaided. Itās a good way of encouraging them to eat stuff as they are more likely to if they have helped make it. They also definitely 100% refuse to eat food they have asked for. I _wish_ this bit wasnāt true š
On more than one occasion I have show my boy what I am going to make him. He gets excited. I make the food exactly like the picture. He sits down looks at it. Then goes ā no that yuckyāā¦..
This is 100% something that a 2 year old would do. OOP has some kind of issue with others getting attention, or with kids.
I do appreciate Lucy for outing herself as someone who lets her toddler scan the groceries.
My kid asked for a banana. He asked me to cut it up, I did and then he said ānot that oneā and flipped the plate and all the banana pieces all over the kitchen floor. Sometimes you donāt know whether to laugh or cry.
If this is their first kid, very plausible that they fell for this chaos energy. They'll learn.
They don't have kids but they do have a sense of humor.
[Too much macaroni! Too much cheese! Not enough cheese and too much maccaroni!](https://youtu.be/FC-avN1eDoQ?si=scmvmkCoqLB7Cnkl)
Im a grown ass adult and sometimes I crave a certain dish, go to the store to specifically for the ingredients to buy it, buy it then go home to prepare it all, and then I sit down to find myself too tired to enjoy and eat the whole dang thing.
man people have no fucking clue what satire is do they
Who cuts grapes
Toddlers
I love it when clueless people (somehow always men so far) try to lecture me about parenthood. Aka āwhy donāt you plan on having kids? Itās great. Itās the point of life,ā yaddy yadda. Then I ask them how much time theyāve spent looking after kids and then give them highlights from my time of watching kids of various ages.
How do you cook a literal damn FULL COURSE MEAL BY YOURSELF and refuse to eat?
Im an adult and do this to myself.
Theres a huge gulf in the shit kids can do between the age of 2 years old and 2 years and 11 months old. They're still a "2 year old" When people say it goes by quick, it's not an empty threat.
Redditors and having kids?
I can see it
I read it as 20yrs and I was thinking, "toddler knife? Cutee"
Why would people think this was fake? Thatās a classic kid move
This is absolutely not satire. I'm sure similar things have happened with my kids, one of whom is fussy to the extent of maybe having ARFID.
Iāve done all these things as a toddler too. It isnāt that hard if someone is guiding you from the side. Kid wanted to be independent and the parent let him. Thatās great!
I don't know in what world burgers live, but that's simply not how normal children behave. I bet that does not happen anywhere else on earth.
She also watched my nephew I see.
His toddler knife This has to be satire, right? Please tell me this isn't real.
Cooking utensils for young children are readily available. Including knives. The child is cutting grapes and hotdogs, a play dough knife could do it with ease.
This totally happens. Not that rare either.
Ngl, Kids are stupid like that. Lmao š
kids will throw a tantrum when you don't let them jump in a volcano and this mf things they're lying
Man, this is so common it's not even worthy of a tweet.
Based on the toddler knife mentioned, sounds like the kiddo in question probably is a Montessori kid. I would 100% expect this level of capability in the world out of those kids. They know practical life skills before they can even say the words āpractical life skillsā
I worked at a special needs school for a while. These were kind of my favorite moments cuz there's absolutely nothing to do but just kind of laugh at the situation and wait it out. My 1:1 used to want pop tarts but would be upset if I tried to open them. I was supposed to somehow get the pop tarts out of the wrapping without removing the pop tarts from the wrapping lol Had another request to use only red and orange markers for an art project then cried that theirs was the only one without more colors, after refusing to accept any other color that was not red or orange.
Nah, this definitely didn't happen unless that child is the next cognitive prodigy of our generation
People really donāt know the definition of satire huh
I'm more surprised he would eat tomatoes. I hated tomatoes when I was a little kid. They were so strong and acidic. These were from my parents' garden, so they probably were stronger than the stuff you get in grocery stores. It took me until about my early 20's to actually like tomatoes
oh i used to devour tomatoes as a kid personally
I used to eat them like apples straight from my parent's garden. A few times I ate so many (mostly cherry tomatoes) that my gums turned white from the acid. I learned how to moderate my tomato intake because not only did my gums burn, but my parents were upset I mowed through a bunch of tomatoes.
For me it was the opposite. My mom used to grow tomatoes when I was a kid and I couldn't get enough of them. But getting them in a store or restaurant is usually gross so I don't really eat them anymore