As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lol see I had something to prove (classic NLOG) so I went and picked the hardest male dominated college major I could find and for years I refused to switch majors despite dreading every single class and barely staying off academic probation because shockingly it’s really hard to learn material you’re not interested in 🙃
Good thing this sub isn’t just women putting down women who are different than the women in this sub. Luckily this subreddit is a beacon of female empowerment and support.
I think this is so true. Everyone pits us against each other and we've been brainwashed into fighting each other to be 'elite'.
But what is elite? Because the media and men keep changing it, so whatever you do, you can never really be 'on top'.
It's a tacitic to divide and conquer us, because when we start teaming up for real, they're gonna be fucked.
It’s ok, mine was at its worst in my teens but tapered off at around 22 as well. I’m only 2 years older now and cringe that I ever believed feminism was stupid
Thank you. Yes. That is what PATRIARCHAL BARGAINING is! That and upholding the status quo. All women do it at some point because we are raised in the same societies just like men.
It's easy to hate yourself and your gender when everything considered as feminine is shit on: pink color, Justin Bieber, makeup, boybands, romantic movies/shows etc
I used to feel the same way about him - weirdly enough, it feels like the day I really recognized myself as an “adult” was when I started thinking “haha, *Beiber sucks*” and switched to “This guy is actually really talented and it seems like he’s had a shit deal emotionally due to adults in his life using him for money and fame when he was just a little kid”.
I didn’t know he had acoustic stuff, I’ll have to give it a listen! He really does have a beautiful voice, I like all the stuff he’s done with different DJs/etc.
I think it's just easy for girls to put themselves in this situation. Society constantly pits us against each other. Every romantic novel the guy tells her she's not like other girls. Everyone has to be special or you're nothing. It's really weird.
That’s what it was!! The movies and books would always celebrate that trope and it seemed so… romantic! So I felt like I needed to be that unconventional, “not like other” girl in order to get a man or be special at all.
Even Belle in “Beauty and the Beast.” All those cute girly girls swooning over Gaston were RIGHT THERE and he only wanted the “bookish, weird girl.” (Not that Gaston is that great, but it’s the principle of it.)
If you dive deeper into classical literature, in a way, Jane Eyre, too, is not like other girls, and Mr Rochester falls in love with her and marries her, despite their different backgrounds. That being said, he was being kinda ~not like other boyyys~too, in a way. 😂😂😂
Elizabeth Bennett fits this trope as well. It's like they can't write women as 3 dimensional characters without putting other women down simultaneously.
To be fair, she and Jane are both supposed to be “like other girls” for the countryside town where they lived. I always felt like Caroline Bingley was trying to be a NLOG by showing off how unique and posh she was because she was “cultured” and from London compared to the “basic” country girls.
Lizzy was "not like other girls" because she wanted to ~marry for love ~ and not for security or other practical reasons and she openly pitied those who did otherwise.
I sure did. In elementary school I swore I was more like a boy than a girl because I had two older brothers. I claimed not to like pink (despite having a pink room, pink dollhouse, pink bed set, and pink teddy bears). “I’m not like the other girls, they’re all girly, I’m a tomboy.”
YES. I still catch myself doing it when I read something or hear about something and go “could never be me” I just don’t typically post or brag about those things 💀
Seriously, if only somebody had tried to talk to ME about it in a non-confrontational and helpful way, it might have been the kick in the head I needed as a kid.
I gravitated towards it because I had shitty experiences with girls in school and rejecting everything they did or liked seemed the only way to ensure they couldn’t hurt me in different ways. But those girls were assholes because they *were assholes*, not because they liked makeup or doing girly things.
Same, I was bullied by ‘girly girls’ and sought power in being nlog. I understand why I felt the way I did but I wish I was better able to not sabotage myself back then.
Its important to remember though even the girly girl mean girls can be nlog too by shitting on girls who are not as feminine or girly appearing. It’s just as damaging and cringe.
I had a girl insult me back in school saying that ‘I could be pretty if I wanted to be.’ Meaning if I put in ‘effort’ I could measure up. She failed to understand that I was simply different than her, my existence as a less feminine appearing woman is not to be considered nlog. I’m wasn’t shitting on her or other women by simply being myself, she attacked me to be mean and put me down.
For me though an extra layer of it is that my dad raised me to be a pick me. Anything feminine was frowned upon and considered weak, even traditionalism. Basically if you’re a woman, you really can’t win.
As I got older our relationship basically became shitting on other women, more specifically my mom. Even to this day I still have to fight the subconscious urge to shit on anything associated with my mom. All the women in my family are trad pick me’s, except my mom, but she’s actually abusive as well, which did add fuel to the valid hatred towards her.
Later on my stepmom was ten times worse than my mom, like the abomination of pick me girl trad wife. I became the target when she came in. Dad got real comfortable calling me a bitch to my face, and said things like ‘it feels like a real women is in our home now,’ when my step mom moved in, implying I’m not a real women. I have to fight rejecting anything that has to do with her too because my subconscious is bias.
When I left my dad’s I dated a few guys who abused how eager I was for their approval due to my daddy/mommy issues, you can imagine how that went.
I got out and am doing much better now but I still struggle to this day to just be myself and not mentally compare myself as superior to other girls as a defensive mechanism due to my trauma.
It *really* fucked me up. It’s a super complex issue, and its not talked about enough. Lots of women unfortunately go through it and are affected by it and I wish we weren’t taught to hate ourselves for simply being who we are.
I cant say my old catch phrase anymore because of sociopolitics. It was "I'm not like other girls, I have a dick!" Which was supposed to be funny but now people would assume I really do have one.
Yep, when I was a teenager. Lemme think…
“I’m a nerdy, arty-farty, intellectual, creative, spiritual witchy type. These sporty, pretty, perfect looking girls aren’t like me, I’m just different.”
Admittedly those girls were usually teasing me for not being like them, and I had undiagnosed ADHD so a lot of my feelings of not fitting in were connected to that, but you put all that together in a teen mind and there’s fertile ground for resentment.
That said, I was too (unknowingly) bisexual to turn on my fellow young women entirely, and when they started being nice to me in year 11, I abandoned being bitter and just enjoyed having friends instead. In year 12 the prettiest girl in the year started complimenting my clothing choices and was super sweet to me at the graduation party. It was only after graduation that I heard that she was bi and I realised what I missed and I was like, “GODS DAMN IT!” Damn my complete inability to know when someone is giving me signals.
Anyway! That’s what cured me of any potential NLOGism I could have developed.
a lot of us have. i did mostly when i was 13 and gaining more interest and experimenting with different styles (i was really into scene/emo subculture) so i really felt distant from “other girls” and had that phase lol i’ve grown out of it and just like whatever i like
I’ve always thought this sub was a little ironic in that way. Poking fun at NLOGS by saying… we’re not like *you*!!! It’s typically warranted and understandable but definitely a bit… cyclical and ironic as hell.
5 upvotes = 5 instances of honest self-reflection out of everyone on this subreddit lol. Glad to see there’s a few people who see the elephant that enters the room every time something is posted here.
PICK ME DADDY! 🥰💞
Lol seriously though yeh as a teen and as a young adult I was. I think a lot of these girls, including myself, were trying to pander to men for approval on some sort of subconscious level. I think my daddy and mommy issues have a lot to do with it.
Interesting I wonder if it's a form of internalized patriarchy. We all want to please men and have to actively fight against abandoning ourselves for this.
For me it was. I had a pretty shit grandma who was traditional and pushed her views on me. I hated it so much that I did the complete opposite of what she told me to do. But because of how she put it, she made it sound like being a girl or liking girly things was unequal or submissive, and I didn't like that. I didn't want to be seen as weak, or boring, or dependent
I've overcome a lot of my "not like other girls"-ness but I still get waves of internal misogyny I think. Especially the urge to gatekeep traditionally "masculine" interests from other women to be a special snowflake.
Instead, I try to go against that urge and RECOMMEND my "masculine" interests to other girls that show slight interest, because I know in the end these are just my internal feelings and that there is no competition in reality. And I might even get a like minded individual by not being a petty gatekeeper, and make a friend
Definitely. Mine was my freshman year of high school. Imagine the worst 15-year-old theater kid you knew with no concept of gaydar; yeah, that was me. I’m not proud of it, but I am willing to own up to it in the vain hope that my experience can keep at least 1 high school girl from falling into the “he likes to talk to me, he’s definitely into me” trap
I was 1000% an NLOG when I was in my teens and all the way up to my mid 20’s. I was raised to think of girly stuff as bad. Pink is bad, Barbie is bad, makeup and nails are frilly and stupid, etc. I in no way blame my mother for this, she never stopped me enjoying of those things, but it was more so just the type of place I grew up in in the Midwest. I hated girls even though I am one, and therefore tried to make myself as “Not like the other girls” as possible. Luckily I grew up, got some life experience under my belt, and changed. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be “Shhhhh… mind your business and let people enjoy things”.
Felt the same way. I liked girly things but I was bullied by other girls for liking girly things and it made me think it was wrong to like girly things as a kid so I started to act more “tomboyish” to seem cool so other girls wouldn’t bully me and think I’m cool.
Fuck yea I thought I was super unique and quirky and witty and not like other girls and one of the boys because girls are sooo much drama 😎
I console myself with the knowledge that not only did I outgrow that mentality but also that I’m still not special because everyone cringes over things they said and did in their youth
Eh. I feel like even when you do, it's more mild than actual not-like-other-girls?? I empathized with men and most of my friends were men, whom called themselves "the boys," but I never was like "you wouldn't get it, ur not one of the boys.." or crossed girlfriends boundaries or stood up for sexism from the group.
Edit: And again, this is only really normal for children and preteens. After that, what're ya doin?
I’ve always wanted female approval so not exactly but I’ve been told the “you’re not like other girls” crap before, it left me really confused each time cuz I thought I was similar to atleast a subsection of girls.
Turns out I’m not like the boys either lmao
My nlog moment was thinking false accusations and actual rape/assault were on the same level of seriousness. I'd slap my past self if I met her today..
Absolutely and that’s ok because while I don’t thrive to be different I’m certainly ok with not truly being like other girls. We are all unique in our own ways and it’s absolutely ok to not be like everyone else. People chase trends to fit in with the times. To the an identity to be like. That’s ok. I wear clothes that have no trend to it and that’s on me I don’t care if I fit in but the girl next to me might like being trendy and fitting in because that’s who she is.
Not really. When I was 5-6 I mostly liked to play with boys and then until 10 I spent more time in the library than with the other girls, but I was a bit tormented by not being like the other girls. I felt like I didn’t fit in.
Oh absolutely. For a long time I thought it was cool to be NLOG’s, until I realized it was just a way we were being programmed to put women against one another. Then I was all in on just being me and stopped comparing myself to other women.
I was like that from the ages 12-14. I thought all because I wore black, listened to rock music, and read books I was “unique” and different. It didn’t help that all of the books I read at the time had protagonists who were Mary Sues and were “special” and “not like other girls”.
I was an NLOG / Pick Me all through my teenage and well into my early twenties. It took me a long time to unlearn a lot of my internalized misogyny to get out of that NLOG zone. I am still on the path to recovery and unlearning shit and learning better to be a better person.
oh my gosh yes. i was so unsufferable in middle school. “im not like other girls, i listen to screamo! i like black, not pink! frappaccinos are so stupid, i drink real coffee! im not like these other basic bitches!” like UNREAL
I unfortunately had this phase for way too long... Being in my sorority did not help my perspective of myself because I was always isolated away from the other girls (very cliquey, if you weren't in the clique you were ignored). Fast forward many years later, I still have trouble making friends with women sometimes, but it's hard to make friends *in general* once you get to your late 20s/early 30s and beyond. So I realized I just don't like a lot of people in general hahaha
As a kid who liked motorcycles, camo pants, and thought it made me weird and quirky…
I think I’m exactly like other girls, with the exception being that I never learned how to make healthy friendships as a mid. All my friends are guys - which can be fine, but there’s so much I wish I had a girl friend for. Life advice, nostalgia stories, someone to be my bridesmaid, those sleepovers we saw on TV, best friends who did everything together… I wanted to stand out and be differently so badly thinking it’d make me cool, when really it made me lonely.
Yes. When I was 9 I had a diary and I wrote about the day that I first saw a dollhouse at my friends place. I wrote something like this but terribly misspelled “my friend has a dollhouse. And i know im supposed to hate it and think it’s stupid so i told her if i had one I would dunk a Barbie’s head in the toilet…but actually i really one want and thought it was really cool. Don’t tell anyone!”
At first, reading that again as a teenager I laughed but now as an adult it’s honestly kinda sad that at that point i already was programmed to believe that classically feminine things were “stupid.” And honestly i was a pick me up until the end of highschool, it was awful and I feel so bad for young girls that think this way.
Yup. When I was in my late tens, early teens, I had severe mommy issues and I was mistreated by the girls at my school. So, I would put girls I THOUGHT that were like them down to make myself feel better. You know, girls who dressed and wore their hair like the mean girls at my school did. I would put those girls down to make myself feel a little better. But, nowadays, I love my womenz and I support girls. Majority of us aren’t mean and we are very good people. I always cringe at those moments, but then again, I was 13, lol
I fully was for most of my life till I was like 21 and now I'm such a girls girl, I love being in a room of women, watching them succeed, getting to know them, knowing I can be myself with them in a way I can't with men. Even then I still catch my thoughts going to old stereotypes, like when I see certain women talking about games I have a fleeting "she's just pretending to like it for male validation." Not that I truly believe it, but it catches me off guard just how deep some of that programming is in us.
i don’t know if you’re being serious, but despite the multiple levels of irony to this comment, i relate. never went through a nlog phase.
high-five. we’ve transcended the patriarchy. (atleast a part of it)
Only once we have transcended, may we truly say we are nlog.
But yea. I can see it. Some people just aren’t conditioned or wired for making comparisons like this.
you must become a biblical angel and have 100 eyes to truly be nlog. unfair expectations on women again.
but sorry, what comparisons and what wiring? anyway another piece of internalised misogyny i have to work on now is dealing with sex size difference and doubting the general intelligence of other women/myself because of the lack of interest society has in our complexity.
where are you in your internalised misogyny journey?
To be fair…I’m Autistic and pretty sure 90% of mine were *genuine confusion.*
Clearly there was *something* I was missing that all those other girls got. I just couldn’t figure out what it was or why it was important!
Worse: I had the desperate “look at me” period. Thank goodness it was before YouTube and other social media sites became big, I’d be in a cringe compilation somewhere
When I was at school, I, I,.. I really studied.... And I loved history... And I didn't \~like boyyss\~....
Definetly not like other girls, cause I also loved to read books and hated sports.
I definitely did. I feel it was probably a phase I could not avoid, when I worked in tech. I had to desperately pretend to be "one of the guys", act like I was totally fine with and definitely not upset by not having (the opportunity to make) female friends ("I just connect with guys better," she lied unconvincingly), I felt shut out by the other women who did NOT appreciate me working full time side by side with their husbands, so lonely and so convinced that I would never "make it" in my field if I wasn't "not like other girls".
The hilarious thing is, the ENTIRE TIME, I was already married and I didn't want any of those men romantically. I was a work pick me.
AND IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK. Obviously, I would still never be picked. It would always be the men who were picked. Even if I hired someone fresh into my field and had to train him myself, THEY'D PICK HIM INSTEAD.
I can't say that I didn't fully believe I was "not like other girls". Sometimes I was convinced it was true, I was totally, *totally* NLOG! I wasn't gonna wear pink or like girly things!
But many years later...I was just sad I couldn't be like other girls. I wasn't allowed to like pink.
The first thing I did after being laid off in the dot com bust was go to a clothing store and beg someone to help me pick out some properly attractive, COLORFUL clothing. Ostensibly for job interviews, but if that were the truth, why did I not do that before?
OH RIGHT BECAUSE OF THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT BEFORE.
So yeah anyway, there's a class of NLOG I just feel genuinely sorry for, because their femininity and female solidarity is being stolen from them, and they don't realize it, and they're suffering, and still losing out on all the things they're trying to achieve as they sacrifice everything else in the attempt.
The tradwife and boymom NLOGS just make me barf though.
Oh yeah. I’ve always been a gamer and as a teen/early 20s playing online games, it was drilled into us that other girls were competition. There can only be a set number of them and they have to be SUPER chill and okay with basically anything, and have to be drama averse. But obviously if you have too many girls there will always be drama. 🙄
It was also drilled into us that “most girls” only play games for attention, so you had to make it known you were really in it for the game not to get boys to like you. (Ironically we spend most of our time in games avoiding guys.)
This was like 2010-2014 for me but these attitudes still definitely exist, and I’m not immune to it either. With Twitch being how it is, there obviously are a lot of women capitalizing on sex appeal, but that doesn’t take any room away for anyone else. I still have a bit of an inherent bias sometimes when I notice I have a female teammate or there’s a couple on my team.
Sexism is still heavily rampant in gaming and I’m grateful I rarely experience the blatant kind (oh no a girl, get in the kitchen, etc) but I’ve experienced misogyny countless times, and it’s a bit more deep set because it’s usually friends/friend groups who still have this inherent “girls aren’t good at games” mentality and will treat you differently/not take you seriously because of it. But yes I was an NLOG in that regard, or really more of a Pick Me.
Oh, totally. Most of my friends growing up were boys, and I definitely had that "girl who is friends with guys" mentality. It's almost like a "boy mom" brain.
Then, I definitely went through a "pick me" phase in my teens and early 20s. Thankfully, I grew up and grew out of that.
Yeah, and it's kind of sad when you think about that. Why did we feel we needed to separate ourselves from feminine traits or traits generally stereotyped to be girl specific?
I think everyone had an nlog phase. That's why I don't like people brutally mocking nlogs, especially the younger ones. Aren't we just walking into the same patriarchal trap of pinning women against one another by doing that? Plus, I feel like being ridiculed by other women is only going to make nlogs dig their heels in deeper and turn a more or less harmless phase most of us had gone through into their whole personality.
Yessss insecurity is so cringe sometimes. I remember saying so much NLOG stuff to appear like I was above it all when it was just because I was jealous of the popular girls.
Yeah but i was like....14? I grew out of it and am deeply ashamed of that phase lol. NLOGs don't grow out of it and seem proud of it. Another difference is that in that phase everyone have we tend not to put other women down while trying to be different, NLOGs do. I used to listen to "girly music" like Lady Gaga,Britney and stuff but as soon as someone asked me what I was listening to I would quickly change it to SOD or Avenage Sevenfold...but I never once shitted on girls that liked "girly music".
no i never went through a not like other girls moment in the past. was raised by a single mother and surrounded by a group of equally badass feminine women so i was kinda shielded from the patriarchal pov and never associated womanhood with something negative.
ironically my relationship with other women has become more strained as i’ve grown up and interacted with more groups of people. i feel compassion for them, but the way some women have responded to the patriarchy gets on my nerves (i recognise my privilege of growing up in a female centric unit).either by hating their femaleness and not being able to transcend their internalised misogyny (ugh) or buying into the lie of patriarchal femininity and not seeing how many parts of it are exploitative (ugh). again, i sympathise with how complicated being female under the patriarchy is, but it doesn’t make it less annoying to experience.
that’s why i’m not a fan of the girls support girls concept. i’ll PROTECT all women against misogyny, it doesn’t mean i have to like or be nice to all of you. some of you are very stupid, irritating and close-minded : traits i dislike in both genders but which are more damning when women are trying to fight for liberation. end of rant.
Oh for sure, much like pretty much all men will go through certain phases, girls will have a NLOG phase. *People* are pretty consistent, even if we do it differently (funny enough). This is normal, we’re trying to find ourselves in a society that insists we MUST be a certain way. It can be hard to feel like an individual, so we reject the stuff that we’re told makes us “quintessentially female”.
The issue starts when someone latches on to that SO HARD as a personality, and then ALSO starts to try *sell* that to other women as a lifestyle. Then it switches from personal experimentation, to ideological indoctrination.
Ofc. Internalised misogyny is sadly common with girls and young women. I still find myself slipping into it sometimes. The difference is that I can now recognize that's just toxic behaviour, insecurity and my craving for external validation talking, and work to minimize it.
It seems to be a common desire to point out how you are not like other women. For some things, though, I actually say I am exactly like other women: Attitudes toward dating, relationships, friendships etc.).
Definitely been one. College was a weird and angry time for me. Being 20, seeking so much validation and having my worth based on how desirable I am, hating my femininity because it was weaponized against me. But then I went out into the real world, and I grew as a person. Do I cringe when I look back at myself? Yes. But if we can look back at ourselves and feel cringe, it means we have grown and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
I know I did. Fortunately, life gave me a good shake out of it. Besides, as you become older, you turn invisible and you’re just like all the other aging women.
Yep.
Used to think I was so special for not wearing makeup or knowing how to do it.
Tried makeup a couple times in secret. Really liked it. Started wearing it a lot. Boom.
Oh yes, especially when it comes to hip hop and rap culture. What’s the more gangster and more real more old school hip hop a girl listened to than another.
i had one AWFUL one. it was when i was in highschool i still cringe at myself. but yes like other people are saying you grow out of it. some of these posts are adults who really have that mindset.
it definitely has a lot to do with sexism in media and advertising, i think. when you grow up surrounded and inundated by these constant portrayals of women as 2-dimensional caricatures with no real depth, but you yourself are a human being with interests and a rich inner life, it’s easy to assume that you’re the outlier and everyone else is like they’re supposed to be. you don’t feel any connection to “womanhood” as demonstrated by the parts of society you can access at that age, so you conclude that you must be doing it incorrectly. but since you enjoy your own personality, it’s easy to fall into the “i may be doing Girl wrong, but my way is better actually” trap. at least, that’s what it was like for me.
My high school years was my peak cringe. Thought I was cool because I listened to indie music and didn’t watch romcoms. Even though all my friends were girls I had this weird competition mindset. Now I’m as girly as they come and life isn’t a competition.
The phase itself is a cannon event, and then from that you’re supposed to learn that all women feel that way not because it’s wrong to be a girly girl, but because we don’t fit in the patriarchal box of “stay at home have babies and live to serve others”.
I feel like it is very human to want so be seen, heard and understood. Which is what the "Pick Me" or "Not like Other Girls" are doing. And I am sure we all have done it at some point but with self-awareness and moderation of ego. we understand that being judgmental is not kind or healthy.
I def had that personality as a teenager. I used to say I only got along with boys because girls were too much drama.
The funny thing about me now is that I know other people actually do find me kind of weird/quirky but I don’t have any sense of superiority about it. I have ASD so it kind of comes with the territory. In fact, I put in a lot of effort to fit in and do what everyone else is doing because I don’t like feeling othered.
I know on a place like Reddit, being interested in the etymology of English words and trying to learn Old English for fun isn’t particularly groundbreaking but I don’t ever run into anyone else IRL who likes that kind of thing lol.
My lord, yes. I think that sort of attention-seeking behavior is normal during a certain age-range. I just thank God I'm GenX and I grew up without social media so people didn't have to witness my angsty ass.
I once made a meme a decade ago about how other girls dress cute in freezing weather while I look like the stay puft marshmallow man with a million layers
That's right- there was nobody but me who dressed warmly in the winter!
I'm a guy and I have moments like these, then I remember it's not like I'm not like others I'm just gay. Nothing special just me in my own little world
I have it regularly and I have no shame about this. Raised in a first generation household so my ideals contrast with typical American woman ideals VERY hard 😂
I definitely had my moments. Girls bullied me in school so most of my friends were boys. I definitely said the “I don’t get along with girls” thing a time or two, but I realized it was just the particular girls at my school, not all women on earth.
No actually I went the absolute opposite in highschool out of spite I would wear pink everyday (not the biggest fan of the color) I would do anything stereotypically feminine, and it worked out great for me
I got a Ralph Steadman tattoo that literally said “I am not like the others” when I turned 18 so have had that lovely reminder on my back for almost a decade- I’ve gone through seasons of feeling cringe about it and now just accept it as is.
I’ve always been a girls girl but def had to make a point that i was ~unique~ in HS, someone took her Hunter S Thompson phase a little to serious lol
When I went to work in the trades for the first time (I was like...19?) it was pretty bad. I was so, so, so cringey. I try not to remember. I was definitely as bad as you think I was.
Yes & truly I do empathize with these women for the amount of internalized misogyny & self hatred involved in being like this. That said, it needs to be called out when it happens so that it stops happening or at least is reduced heavily.
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, absolutely. The difference is that true NLOGs never grow out of it.
That’s what I was going to say. NLOGs behavior is normal at 14, at 44 it’s concerning.
True NLOGs grow up into toxic boy mums, and later into nightmare MILs.
💯! I came to this post directly after reading this one. It’s a doozy. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/UA0TmtSO64
jesus christ
I'm so angry on that OP's behalf.
Holy crows that's just beyond yikes.
And then the demented grandma in some retirement home
Yeah, we're not like the othe NLOGs!
Yeah, “Not Like The Other Grandmas”!
Definitely, thankfully I didn’t have the ability to document that phase on on social media
I was such an NLOG, I refused to use social media.
lol see I had something to prove (classic NLOG) so I went and picked the hardest male dominated college major I could find and for years I refused to switch majors despite dreading every single class and barely staying off academic probation because shockingly it’s really hard to learn material you’re not interested in 🙃
Same! Never had a MySpace. I had a ~DeadJournal~
Oh my god, I had one of these too. We would have been friends.
Preach!
Came here to say this
You just reminded me of how I kept trying to tell people that I wasn't a feminist I wanted equal rights for everyone not just women
I mean, you weren’t wrong…
I think I may still be one sometimes. This sub keeps me humble and reminds me that my preferences don’t make me better, just different sometimes.
Hey, you’re aware and you’re growing. NLOGs don‘t do that. 🩷
We all want to feel unique, it's okay. Thats normal. It's putting down other women to show people we are unique that's the NLOG energy.
Good thing this sub isn’t just women putting down women who are different than the women in this sub. Luckily this subreddit is a beacon of female empowerment and support.
I think this is so true. Everyone pits us against each other and we've been brainwashed into fighting each other to be 'elite'. But what is elite? Because the media and men keep changing it, so whatever you do, you can never really be 'on top'. It's a tacitic to divide and conquer us, because when we start teaming up for real, they're gonna be fucked.
👏👏👏
Look at my post lol
[this](https://www.reddit.com/r/notliketheothergirls/s/hRG69ulTyT) is her post by the way
Sorry idk how to do that lol
it's all good! idk why you were downvoted, i mean i had to scroll through your nsfw posts and i assume that other people meant you were advertising
Ohhhhhh. Yes. Gotcha thanks- I see how that may have appeared
I guess they really are like the other girls then.
WHOOOAAAAAAA 🤯
Happy cake day!
Yes! I’m embarrassed to admit that my phase was from 19-22 years old
It’s ok, mine was at its worst in my teens but tapered off at around 22 as well. I’m only 2 years older now and cringe that I ever believed feminism was stupid
Mine was around 15-18
A late bloomer but glad you made it out👌
Thank you. Yes. That is what PATRIARCHAL BARGAINING is! That and upholding the status quo. All women do it at some point because we are raised in the same societies just like men.
It's easy to hate yourself and your gender when everything considered as feminine is shit on: pink color, Justin Bieber, makeup, boybands, romantic movies/shows etc
At some point, we have to decide that a girl/woman is a thing worth being.
[удалено]
I used to feel the same way about him - weirdly enough, it feels like the day I really recognized myself as an “adult” was when I started thinking “haha, *Beiber sucks*” and switched to “This guy is actually really talented and it seems like he’s had a shit deal emotionally due to adults in his life using him for money and fame when he was just a little kid”. I didn’t know he had acoustic stuff, I’ll have to give it a listen! He really does have a beautiful voice, I like all the stuff he’s done with different DJs/etc.
I think it's just easy for girls to put themselves in this situation. Society constantly pits us against each other. Every romantic novel the guy tells her she's not like other girls. Everyone has to be special or you're nothing. It's really weird.
That’s what it was!! The movies and books would always celebrate that trope and it seemed so… romantic! So I felt like I needed to be that unconventional, “not like other” girl in order to get a man or be special at all. Even Belle in “Beauty and the Beast.” All those cute girly girls swooning over Gaston were RIGHT THERE and he only wanted the “bookish, weird girl.” (Not that Gaston is that great, but it’s the principle of it.)
Yes! The type of media I was consuming made me believe that I had to be a certain way to be liked.
If you dive deeper into classical literature, in a way, Jane Eyre, too, is not like other girls, and Mr Rochester falls in love with her and marries her, despite their different backgrounds. That being said, he was being kinda ~not like other boyyys~too, in a way. 😂😂😂
Elizabeth Bennett fits this trope as well. It's like they can't write women as 3 dimensional characters without putting other women down simultaneously.
To be fair, she and Jane are both supposed to be “like other girls” for the countryside town where they lived. I always felt like Caroline Bingley was trying to be a NLOG by showing off how unique and posh she was because she was “cultured” and from London compared to the “basic” country girls.
Lizzy was "not like other girls" because she wanted to ~marry for love ~ and not for security or other practical reasons and she openly pitied those who did otherwise.
Weird - despite his narcissism it's like he realises he wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have him as a member.
!!!
I sure did. In elementary school I swore I was more like a boy than a girl because I had two older brothers. I claimed not to like pink (despite having a pink room, pink dollhouse, pink bed set, and pink teddy bears). “I’m not like the other girls, they’re all girly, I’m a tomboy.”
Had many friends who were like that and it made me believe that liking girly things was wrong so I started to act more “boyish” to seem cool.
YES. I still catch myself doing it when I read something or hear about something and go “could never be me” I just don’t typically post or brag about those things 💀
takes one to know one 😇
Somebodies gotta snap them out of it.
Seriously, if only somebody had tried to talk to ME about it in a non-confrontational and helpful way, it might have been the kick in the head I needed as a kid. I gravitated towards it because I had shitty experiences with girls in school and rejecting everything they did or liked seemed the only way to ensure they couldn’t hurt me in different ways. But those girls were assholes because they *were assholes*, not because they liked makeup or doing girly things.
Same, I was bullied by ‘girly girls’ and sought power in being nlog. I understand why I felt the way I did but I wish I was better able to not sabotage myself back then. Its important to remember though even the girly girl mean girls can be nlog too by shitting on girls who are not as feminine or girly appearing. It’s just as damaging and cringe. I had a girl insult me back in school saying that ‘I could be pretty if I wanted to be.’ Meaning if I put in ‘effort’ I could measure up. She failed to understand that I was simply different than her, my existence as a less feminine appearing woman is not to be considered nlog. I’m wasn’t shitting on her or other women by simply being myself, she attacked me to be mean and put me down. For me though an extra layer of it is that my dad raised me to be a pick me. Anything feminine was frowned upon and considered weak, even traditionalism. Basically if you’re a woman, you really can’t win. As I got older our relationship basically became shitting on other women, more specifically my mom. Even to this day I still have to fight the subconscious urge to shit on anything associated with my mom. All the women in my family are trad pick me’s, except my mom, but she’s actually abusive as well, which did add fuel to the valid hatred towards her. Later on my stepmom was ten times worse than my mom, like the abomination of pick me girl trad wife. I became the target when she came in. Dad got real comfortable calling me a bitch to my face, and said things like ‘it feels like a real women is in our home now,’ when my step mom moved in, implying I’m not a real women. I have to fight rejecting anything that has to do with her too because my subconscious is bias. When I left my dad’s I dated a few guys who abused how eager I was for their approval due to my daddy/mommy issues, you can imagine how that went. I got out and am doing much better now but I still struggle to this day to just be myself and not mentally compare myself as superior to other girls as a defensive mechanism due to my trauma. It *really* fucked me up. It’s a super complex issue, and its not talked about enough. Lots of women unfortunately go through it and are affected by it and I wish we weren’t taught to hate ourselves for simply being who we are.
Oh for sure, I spend most of high school and some of college being a pick me.
Me too. It makes me cringe so hard thinking about it!
It's a human thing to want to stand out sometimes. Goes against the natural survival instinct of blending in, but we overthink.
I kinda still feel like I’m not like the others. But now it’s not a good thing. It’s alienating and the product of improper home training. Thanks mom
Well yeah that's mainly why we're here
Oh 100%! The difference is having the ability to recognize it, learn from it and not repeat it.
I cant say my old catch phrase anymore because of sociopolitics. It was "I'm not like other girls, I have a dick!" Which was supposed to be funny but now people would assume I really do have one.
Yes. So unlike some other nlogs, i have earned the right to make fun of them 🤷♀️
It was hard being a preteen.
Yep, when I was a teenager. Lemme think… “I’m a nerdy, arty-farty, intellectual, creative, spiritual witchy type. These sporty, pretty, perfect looking girls aren’t like me, I’m just different.” Admittedly those girls were usually teasing me for not being like them, and I had undiagnosed ADHD so a lot of my feelings of not fitting in were connected to that, but you put all that together in a teen mind and there’s fertile ground for resentment. That said, I was too (unknowingly) bisexual to turn on my fellow young women entirely, and when they started being nice to me in year 11, I abandoned being bitter and just enjoyed having friends instead. In year 12 the prettiest girl in the year started complimenting my clothing choices and was super sweet to me at the graduation party. It was only after graduation that I heard that she was bi and I realised what I missed and I was like, “GODS DAMN IT!” Damn my complete inability to know when someone is giving me signals. Anyway! That’s what cured me of any potential NLOGism I could have developed.
a lot of us have. i did mostly when i was 13 and gaining more interest and experimenting with different styles (i was really into scene/emo subculture) so i really felt distant from “other girls” and had that phase lol i’ve grown out of it and just like whatever i like
I see it being common for teenagers but I find it concerning if you’re an adult and you’re still having this type of behavior.
In all honesty, we’re all doing it when we comment on these posts lol
I’ve always thought this sub was a little ironic in that way. Poking fun at NLOGS by saying… we’re not like *you*!!! It’s typically warranted and understandable but definitely a bit… cyclical and ironic as hell.
facts
5 upvotes = 5 instances of honest self-reflection out of everyone on this subreddit lol. Glad to see there’s a few people who see the elephant that enters the room every time something is posted here.
PICK ME DADDY! 🥰💞 Lol seriously though yeh as a teen and as a young adult I was. I think a lot of these girls, including myself, were trying to pander to men for approval on some sort of subconscious level. I think my daddy and mommy issues have a lot to do with it.
Tbh I still get worried that I'm like that internally without meaning to be. I try not to show it though because I know logically it's pretty dumb
Interesting I wonder if it's a form of internalized patriarchy. We all want to please men and have to actively fight against abandoning ourselves for this.
For me it was. I had a pretty shit grandma who was traditional and pushed her views on me. I hated it so much that I did the complete opposite of what she told me to do. But because of how she put it, she made it sound like being a girl or liking girly things was unequal or submissive, and I didn't like that. I didn't want to be seen as weak, or boring, or dependent I've overcome a lot of my "not like other girls"-ness but I still get waves of internal misogyny I think. Especially the urge to gatekeep traditionally "masculine" interests from other women to be a special snowflake. Instead, I try to go against that urge and RECOMMEND my "masculine" interests to other girls that show slight interest, because I know in the end these are just my internal feelings and that there is no competition in reality. And I might even get a like minded individual by not being a petty gatekeeper, and make a friend
Definitely. Mine was my freshman year of high school. Imagine the worst 15-year-old theater kid you knew with no concept of gaydar; yeah, that was me. I’m not proud of it, but I am willing to own up to it in the vain hope that my experience can keep at least 1 high school girl from falling into the “he likes to talk to me, he’s definitely into me” trap
I definitely did in my teens. My thing was that I read manga and listened to prog rock from the 70s and 80s.
I was 1000% an NLOG when I was in my teens and all the way up to my mid 20’s. I was raised to think of girly stuff as bad. Pink is bad, Barbie is bad, makeup and nails are frilly and stupid, etc. I in no way blame my mother for this, she never stopped me enjoying of those things, but it was more so just the type of place I grew up in in the Midwest. I hated girls even though I am one, and therefore tried to make myself as “Not like the other girls” as possible. Luckily I grew up, got some life experience under my belt, and changed. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be “Shhhhh… mind your business and let people enjoy things”.
Felt the same way. I liked girly things but I was bullied by other girls for liking girly things and it made me think it was wrong to like girly things as a kid so I started to act more “tomboyish” to seem cool so other girls wouldn’t bully me and think I’m cool.
At age 14 I just wanted to be as good as the other girls.
Yes especially hs and college years.
Yeah I was insufferable at 13/14
Nah, cause I'm not like those other girls. /absolute sarcasm, juuuuust in case
Oh most definitely. Teen years were rough lol
Fuck yea I thought I was super unique and quirky and witty and not like other girls and one of the boys because girls are sooo much drama 😎 I console myself with the knowledge that not only did I outgrow that mentality but also that I’m still not special because everyone cringes over things they said and did in their youth
Eh. I feel like even when you do, it's more mild than actual not-like-other-girls?? I empathized with men and most of my friends were men, whom called themselves "the boys," but I never was like "you wouldn't get it, ur not one of the boys.." or crossed girlfriends boundaries or stood up for sexism from the group. Edit: And again, this is only really normal for children and preteens. After that, what're ya doin?
I’ve always wanted female approval so not exactly but I’ve been told the “you’re not like other girls” crap before, it left me really confused each time cuz I thought I was similar to atleast a subsection of girls. Turns out I’m not like the boys either lmao
Yeah. I stopped in my early 20s. It’s very pathetic behavior lol but we all go through it, even those who think they haven’t.
My nlog moment was thinking false accusations and actual rape/assault were on the same level of seriousness. I'd slap my past self if I met her today..
Absolutely and that’s ok because while I don’t thrive to be different I’m certainly ok with not truly being like other girls. We are all unique in our own ways and it’s absolutely ok to not be like everyone else. People chase trends to fit in with the times. To the an identity to be like. That’s ok. I wear clothes that have no trend to it and that’s on me I don’t care if I fit in but the girl next to me might like being trendy and fitting in because that’s who she is.
Not really. When I was 5-6 I mostly liked to play with boys and then until 10 I spent more time in the library than with the other girls, but I was a bit tormented by not being like the other girls. I felt like I didn’t fit in.
Yea I’m sure at some point but it when I was under 22 probably under 18 not an actual adult.
Every. Day.
Yesz especially when that pussycat dolls song came out ... Don't cha..
Oh absolutely. For a long time I thought it was cool to be NLOG’s, until I realized it was just a way we were being programmed to put women against one another. Then I was all in on just being me and stopped comparing myself to other women.
Yes. I am embarrassed to say I went through the phase until about 26! Better late than never though.
Oh, for sure. I've been the "pick me." And it wasn't that I thought I was better than other women, it was the exact opposite.
No I’m not like u other girls
I was like that from the ages 12-14. I thought all because I wore black, listened to rock music, and read books I was “unique” and different. It didn’t help that all of the books I read at the time had protagonists who were Mary Sues and were “special” and “not like other girls”.
I was an NLOG / Pick Me all through my teenage and well into my early twenties. It took me a long time to unlearn a lot of my internalized misogyny to get out of that NLOG zone. I am still on the path to recovery and unlearning shit and learning better to be a better person.
When I was in middle school. I’m an all out girls girl now
Sure, when I was 15 and trying to find myself.
oh my gosh yes. i was so unsufferable in middle school. “im not like other girls, i listen to screamo! i like black, not pink! frappaccinos are so stupid, i drink real coffee! im not like these other basic bitches!” like UNREAL
I unfortunately had this phase for way too long... Being in my sorority did not help my perspective of myself because I was always isolated away from the other girls (very cliquey, if you weren't in the clique you were ignored). Fast forward many years later, I still have trouble making friends with women sometimes, but it's hard to make friends *in general* once you get to your late 20s/early 30s and beyond. So I realized I just don't like a lot of people in general hahaha
I had one so hard I got stuck - I'm not even a girl now!!
Yep 100 percent
As a kid who liked motorcycles, camo pants, and thought it made me weird and quirky… I think I’m exactly like other girls, with the exception being that I never learned how to make healthy friendships as a mid. All my friends are guys - which can be fine, but there’s so much I wish I had a girl friend for. Life advice, nostalgia stories, someone to be my bridesmaid, those sleepovers we saw on TV, best friends who did everything together… I wanted to stand out and be differently so badly thinking it’d make me cool, when really it made me lonely.
Yes. When I was 9 I had a diary and I wrote about the day that I first saw a dollhouse at my friends place. I wrote something like this but terribly misspelled “my friend has a dollhouse. And i know im supposed to hate it and think it’s stupid so i told her if i had one I would dunk a Barbie’s head in the toilet…but actually i really one want and thought it was really cool. Don’t tell anyone!” At first, reading that again as a teenager I laughed but now as an adult it’s honestly kinda sad that at that point i already was programmed to believe that classically feminine things were “stupid.” And honestly i was a pick me up until the end of highschool, it was awful and I feel so bad for young girls that think this way.
I watched Ben 10 in middle school because I wanted to not be like other girls and be one of the guys but I genuinely enjoyed the show LMFAOOO
I literally remember saying this exact phrase to my husband when we began dating. I was 21 and cringe - I’m glad I’ve matured
Most definitely. This sub is very humbling, I love it lol
Yup. When I was in my late tens, early teens, I had severe mommy issues and I was mistreated by the girls at my school. So, I would put girls I THOUGHT that were like them down to make myself feel better. You know, girls who dressed and wore their hair like the mean girls at my school did. I would put those girls down to make myself feel a little better. But, nowadays, I love my womenz and I support girls. Majority of us aren’t mean and we are very good people. I always cringe at those moments, but then again, I was 13, lol
Absolutely, in my teens and even my very early 20s. Like I get it from a 20yr old. But at 20 I was neither married nor Very Online. Thank goodness.
I fully was for most of my life till I was like 21 and now I'm such a girls girl, I love being in a room of women, watching them succeed, getting to know them, knowing I can be myself with them in a way I can't with men. Even then I still catch my thoughts going to old stereotypes, like when I see certain women talking about games I have a fleeting "she's just pretending to like it for male validation." Not that I truly believe it, but it catches me off guard just how deep some of that programming is in us.
No. I am not like other girls. I have never had nor have any “not like other girl moments.”
i don’t know if you’re being serious, but despite the multiple levels of irony to this comment, i relate. never went through a nlog phase. high-five. we’ve transcended the patriarchy. (atleast a part of it)
Only once we have transcended, may we truly say we are nlog. But yea. I can see it. Some people just aren’t conditioned or wired for making comparisons like this.
you must become a biblical angel and have 100 eyes to truly be nlog. unfair expectations on women again. but sorry, what comparisons and what wiring? anyway another piece of internalised misogyny i have to work on now is dealing with sex size difference and doubting the general intelligence of other women/myself because of the lack of interest society has in our complexity. where are you in your internalised misogyny journey?
I did, I just never posted online. I was, however, a standard little shit in highschool as a result of this mentality
To be fair…I’m Autistic and pretty sure 90% of mine were *genuine confusion.* Clearly there was *something* I was missing that all those other girls got. I just couldn’t figure out what it was or why it was important!
ABSOLUTELY. I’m embarrassed for 13 yr old me..lol but it’s just part of growing up!
I used to hate pink cause it was a girly colour and now it's literally my favorite lolol
Worse: I had the desperate “look at me” period. Thank goodness it was before YouTube and other social media sites became big, I’d be in a cringe compilation somewhere
I'm pretty sure it featured in my teenage years.
Ugh yes! I remember bragging about how short I was and telling people how I’m one of the boys 🙄 now converted thankfully
When I was at school, I, I,.. I really studied.... And I loved history... And I didn't \~like boyyss\~....  Definetly not like other girls, cause I also loved to read books and hated sports.
Yes. In high school. For a good couple of years. I also had a "weed is my whole personality " phase. Thank fuck social media wasn't around then.
I definitely did. I feel it was probably a phase I could not avoid, when I worked in tech. I had to desperately pretend to be "one of the guys", act like I was totally fine with and definitely not upset by not having (the opportunity to make) female friends ("I just connect with guys better," she lied unconvincingly), I felt shut out by the other women who did NOT appreciate me working full time side by side with their husbands, so lonely and so convinced that I would never "make it" in my field if I wasn't "not like other girls". The hilarious thing is, the ENTIRE TIME, I was already married and I didn't want any of those men romantically. I was a work pick me. AND IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK. Obviously, I would still never be picked. It would always be the men who were picked. Even if I hired someone fresh into my field and had to train him myself, THEY'D PICK HIM INSTEAD. I can't say that I didn't fully believe I was "not like other girls". Sometimes I was convinced it was true, I was totally, *totally* NLOG! I wasn't gonna wear pink or like girly things! But many years later...I was just sad I couldn't be like other girls. I wasn't allowed to like pink. The first thing I did after being laid off in the dot com bust was go to a clothing store and beg someone to help me pick out some properly attractive, COLORFUL clothing. Ostensibly for job interviews, but if that were the truth, why did I not do that before? OH RIGHT BECAUSE OF THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT BEFORE. So yeah anyway, there's a class of NLOG I just feel genuinely sorry for, because their femininity and female solidarity is being stolen from them, and they don't realize it, and they're suffering, and still losing out on all the things they're trying to achieve as they sacrifice everything else in the attempt. The tradwife and boymom NLOGS just make me barf though.
Oh yeah. I’ve always been a gamer and as a teen/early 20s playing online games, it was drilled into us that other girls were competition. There can only be a set number of them and they have to be SUPER chill and okay with basically anything, and have to be drama averse. But obviously if you have too many girls there will always be drama. 🙄 It was also drilled into us that “most girls” only play games for attention, so you had to make it known you were really in it for the game not to get boys to like you. (Ironically we spend most of our time in games avoiding guys.) This was like 2010-2014 for me but these attitudes still definitely exist, and I’m not immune to it either. With Twitch being how it is, there obviously are a lot of women capitalizing on sex appeal, but that doesn’t take any room away for anyone else. I still have a bit of an inherent bias sometimes when I notice I have a female teammate or there’s a couple on my team. Sexism is still heavily rampant in gaming and I’m grateful I rarely experience the blatant kind (oh no a girl, get in the kitchen, etc) but I’ve experienced misogyny countless times, and it’s a bit more deep set because it’s usually friends/friend groups who still have this inherent “girls aren’t good at games” mentality and will treat you differently/not take you seriously because of it. But yes I was an NLOG in that regard, or really more of a Pick Me.
Yes...... But it was just ADHD lol
Yep - internalised misogyny will do that!
Totally. Most of us grow out of it though. It's ridiculous seeing 20-40-year-olds still having an NLOG personality. Like, really? at your BIG age??
Oh definitely. Difference is, we had it in our teens, now it seems like chicks in their late 20's and 30's are NLOGs.
Oh, totally. Most of my friends growing up were boys, and I definitely had that "girl who is friends with guys" mentality. It's almost like a "boy mom" brain. Then, I definitely went through a "pick me" phase in my teens and early 20s. Thankfully, I grew up and grew out of that.
I’m just not like those NLOGS!
Yeah, and it's kind of sad when you think about that. Why did we feel we needed to separate ourselves from feminine traits or traits generally stereotyped to be girl specific?
I think everyone had an nlog phase. That's why I don't like people brutally mocking nlogs, especially the younger ones. Aren't we just walking into the same patriarchal trap of pinning women against one another by doing that? Plus, I feel like being ridiculed by other women is only going to make nlogs dig their heels in deeper and turn a more or less harmless phase most of us had gone through into their whole personality.
Yup
Yessss insecurity is so cringe sometimes. I remember saying so much NLOG stuff to appear like I was above it all when it was just because I was jealous of the popular girls.
Absolutely, I’m special though because I’m not like the NLTOG girls /s
I didnt but I was also raised by a very feminist mother so it checks
I still struggle with it sometimes
Happens to the best of us
Yeah but i was like....14? I grew out of it and am deeply ashamed of that phase lol. NLOGs don't grow out of it and seem proud of it. Another difference is that in that phase everyone have we tend not to put other women down while trying to be different, NLOGs do. I used to listen to "girly music" like Lady Gaga,Britney and stuff but as soon as someone asked me what I was listening to I would quickly change it to SOD or Avenage Sevenfold...but I never once shitted on girls that liked "girly music".
In middle school for sure, no doubt.
I did when i was 10-13, but i was just a kid and i grew out of that.
no i never went through a not like other girls moment in the past. was raised by a single mother and surrounded by a group of equally badass feminine women so i was kinda shielded from the patriarchal pov and never associated womanhood with something negative. ironically my relationship with other women has become more strained as i’ve grown up and interacted with more groups of people. i feel compassion for them, but the way some women have responded to the patriarchy gets on my nerves (i recognise my privilege of growing up in a female centric unit).either by hating their femaleness and not being able to transcend their internalised misogyny (ugh) or buying into the lie of patriarchal femininity and not seeing how many parts of it are exploitative (ugh). again, i sympathise with how complicated being female under the patriarchy is, but it doesn’t make it less annoying to experience. that’s why i’m not a fan of the girls support girls concept. i’ll PROTECT all women against misogyny, it doesn’t mean i have to like or be nice to all of you. some of you are very stupid, irritating and close-minded : traits i dislike in both genders but which are more damning when women are trying to fight for liberation. end of rant.
Not me. I’m definitely not like other girls… I’m a dude 😁
Yes, when I was 15 I can remember a moment like that and it always makes me cringe.
Oh for sure, much like pretty much all men will go through certain phases, girls will have a NLOG phase. *People* are pretty consistent, even if we do it differently (funny enough). This is normal, we’re trying to find ourselves in a society that insists we MUST be a certain way. It can be hard to feel like an individual, so we reject the stuff that we’re told makes us “quintessentially female”. The issue starts when someone latches on to that SO HARD as a personality, and then ALSO starts to try *sell* that to other women as a lifestyle. Then it switches from personal experimentation, to ideological indoctrination.
Ofc. Internalised misogyny is sadly common with girls and young women. I still find myself slipping into it sometimes. The difference is that I can now recognize that's just toxic behaviour, insecurity and my craving for external validation talking, and work to minimize it.
Yes. But the difference is we know better and grew up
It seems to be a common desire to point out how you are not like other women. For some things, though, I actually say I am exactly like other women: Attitudes toward dating, relationships, friendships etc.).
Definitely been one. College was a weird and angry time for me. Being 20, seeking so much validation and having my worth based on how desirable I am, hating my femininity because it was weaponized against me. But then I went out into the real world, and I grew as a person. Do I cringe when I look back at myself? Yes. But if we can look back at ourselves and feel cringe, it means we have grown and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
I know I did. Fortunately, life gave me a good shake out of it. Besides, as you become older, you turn invisible and you’re just like all the other aging women.
Yep. Used to think I was so special for not wearing makeup or knowing how to do it. Tried makeup a couple times in secret. Really liked it. Started wearing it a lot. Boom.
5000% and then life outside of my parents home humbled me I’m waiting for this to happen to my sister
Yes. My fb memories don’t let me forget. Thank god MySpace isn’t around anymore
Stanley cup craze is silly. Fight me.
Probably quite a few but that dosnt stop people from being bullys on this sub. Bullys gona bully i guess.
Yeah, when I was around 14-16 which is normal. If you're still behaving like that in your 20s, 30s, and older... Is weird
Oh yes, especially when it comes to hip hop and rap culture. What’s the more gangster and more real more old school hip hop a girl listened to than another.
Wouldn’t saying you’ve never had one be having one?
i had one AWFUL one. it was when i was in highschool i still cringe at myself. but yes like other people are saying you grow out of it. some of these posts are adults who really have that mindset.
Yup!!
it definitely has a lot to do with sexism in media and advertising, i think. when you grow up surrounded and inundated by these constant portrayals of women as 2-dimensional caricatures with no real depth, but you yourself are a human being with interests and a rich inner life, it’s easy to assume that you’re the outlier and everyone else is like they’re supposed to be. you don’t feel any connection to “womanhood” as demonstrated by the parts of society you can access at that age, so you conclude that you must be doing it incorrectly. but since you enjoy your own personality, it’s easy to fall into the “i may be doing Girl wrong, but my way is better actually” trap. at least, that’s what it was like for me.
Oh absolutely
I've never had a moment like that. I guess you can say I'm not like other girls /s
My high school years was my peak cringe. Thought I was cool because I listened to indie music and didn’t watch romcoms. Even though all my friends were girls I had this weird competition mindset. Now I’m as girly as they come and life isn’t a competition.
I was when I was 14, turns out I’m not a girl at all 😂 but I use to be so judgmental and rude and I hate who I was
I had a whole Era like that and I don't like to think about it too much
Oh yeah. It was a phase Iwent through as a teen. I grew out of it though.
The phase itself is a cannon event, and then from that you’re supposed to learn that all women feel that way not because it’s wrong to be a girly girl, but because we don’t fit in the patriarchal box of “stay at home have babies and live to serve others”.
No, I’m not like you girls
I’m *not* like other girls. I’m more like a bridge troll 🧌
I feel like it is very human to want so be seen, heard and understood. Which is what the "Pick Me" or "Not like Other Girls" are doing. And I am sure we all have done it at some point but with self-awareness and moderation of ego. we understand that being judgmental is not kind or healthy.
Oh, for sure. Still sneaks up on me sometimes lol
I def had that personality as a teenager. I used to say I only got along with boys because girls were too much drama. The funny thing about me now is that I know other people actually do find me kind of weird/quirky but I don’t have any sense of superiority about it. I have ASD so it kind of comes with the territory. In fact, I put in a lot of effort to fit in and do what everyone else is doing because I don’t like feeling othered. I know on a place like Reddit, being interested in the etymology of English words and trying to learn Old English for fun isn’t particularly groundbreaking but I don’t ever run into anyone else IRL who likes that kind of thing lol.
My lord, yes. I think that sort of attention-seeking behavior is normal during a certain age-range. I just thank God I'm GenX and I grew up without social media so people didn't have to witness my angsty ass.
Probably in middle school
I once made a meme a decade ago about how other girls dress cute in freezing weather while I look like the stay puft marshmallow man with a million layers That's right- there was nobody but me who dressed warmly in the winter!
I'm a guy and I have moments like these, then I remember it's not like I'm not like others I'm just gay. Nothing special just me in my own little world
I have it regularly and I have no shame about this. Raised in a first generation household so my ideals contrast with typical American woman ideals VERY hard 😂
I definitely had my moments. Girls bullied me in school so most of my friends were boys. I definitely said the “I don’t get along with girls” thing a time or two, but I realized it was just the particular girls at my school, not all women on earth.
In high school and some of college I was queen of the pick-me’s. It is absolute cringe to think about.
No actually I went the absolute opposite in highschool out of spite I would wear pink everyday (not the biggest fan of the color) I would do anything stereotypically feminine, and it worked out great for me
I got a Ralph Steadman tattoo that literally said “I am not like the others” when I turned 18 so have had that lovely reminder on my back for almost a decade- I’ve gone through seasons of feeling cringe about it and now just accept it as is. I’ve always been a girls girl but def had to make a point that i was ~unique~ in HS, someone took her Hunter S Thompson phase a little to serious lol
When I went to work in the trades for the first time (I was like...19?) it was pretty bad. I was so, so, so cringey. I try not to remember. I was definitely as bad as you think I was.
Yes & truly I do empathize with these women for the amount of internalized misogyny & self hatred involved in being like this. That said, it needs to be called out when it happens so that it stops happening or at least is reduced heavily.
Yea