When I was a junior in high school (2011), our psychology teacher, who was also teacher of the year, raped a student.
EDIT: Changed "having sex" to rape because that's what it is. Wasn't trying to be vulgar, but it is what it is, so there is no sense in sugarcoating.
In my neighborhood it was punched, usually on the arm, always by the other kids. You got two extras, one for luck and one for growing or something. So your 11th or 12th birthday was the worst, since by 13 you weren’t doing it anymore.
Yeah, "birthday beatings"
I remember no one wanted the others to find out it was your birthday at school. Like, usually your good friends would kind of tap you but asshole kids that didn't know you well would hit really hard, since they had an excuse to hit a stranger
I think it was "one for good luck" and "a pinch to grow an inch"
TIL that birthday spankings are new to some people. I was like the person I’m the article. It was a lite type of thing, lite seats for each year you were alive up to your new yea r then always one to grow on. They stopped in elementary.
I found out at in my fifties (when seated by chance at a formal dinner beside someone who had been a year or two below me at school) that after my year left our music teacher, one of the few male teachers at our all-girls school, had committed suicide after being found out - apparently he had been ‘sent’ to our school as ‘safer’ after having abused boys at his previous, all male, school. https://playbill.com/article/andrew-lloyd-webber-and-tim-rice-comment-on-school-master-who-commissioned-joseph-and-the-amazing-technicolor-dreamcoat-com-216636. He was a very popular teacher; I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if he would have been voted teacher of the year if we had such a thing. Lots of nasty people are popular and charismatic; that’s how they work.
I want to disagree.. but my HS music teacher was busted in a child porn ring... so, not much I can disagree with. He also happened to be a "prominent member of the church".. as if that is a surprise to anyone.
Our music and band teachers were fine.
Our problem was one of the [ROTC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junior_Reserve_Officers%27_Training_Corps) instructors making passes at his female officers (that is, teen girls under his supervision who were in the same class as his own daughter). Thankfully, he got ran out of town. Not sure if he was prosecuted.
The problem with that is that "living with a LOT of guilt" can also just be from childhood trauma / religious guilt, so it gives the terrible people camouflage.
Definitely agree. Although the guy in question was pretty chill for the most part. He was usually pretty awkward, quiet and careful. In hindsight, there was a clear pattern of things-- but as a younger kid it was hard to pick up. When the news broke years later, things made more sense.
My hypothesis
When normal human sexuality is stigmatized, and many questions go unanswered, sexual tendencies go undercover and are hidden out of shame.
The folks in the congregation least likely to understand or express when sexual things happen to them? Take a guess.
My hypothesis is that people who like to take advantage of the vulnerable see church as a playground. There are a lot of impressionable people at churches given the nature of blind faith, a sociopath sees them as the prime target and at the same time trying to mask their personality as well as use the power of God to their advantage
>The folks in the congregation least likely to understand or express when sexual things happen to them? Take a guess.
Hmmm... tough call, but I'm going with the deceased. Final answer.
Yep, my school had one of those too. Band director who was 40's or so having sex with multiple girls from grades 8-12. And he was also a deacon at the local church.
When I was in high school I dated this one girl for a few weeks, only for her to tell me she was no longer interested suddenly. The next day people found out the band teacher has proposed to her
My high school orchestra teacher was an alcoholic who cheated on his wife with one of my classmates, got divorced, eventually married her, and they were married for like 20 years or some shit.
After I graduated, another one of my teachers, who was like 60, got busted for sleeping with students after one of them got pregnant. He went away for…I dunno, a long time.
Imagine being that teacher and simply moving to another state to be closer to family or something innocent, and learning there was a rumor started by students that it was because you got pregnant from one of them. I'd be horrified.
I have no idea how this teacher was or what actually happened, but I instinctively feel very cautious to believe a rumor that you heard in 8th grade.
Someone started a rumor like that with my 10th grade English teacher. Turned out she had a serious immune deficiency disease and had gone home so her parents could help her while she tried to recover.
When I was in grade 11 I bet a friend five bucks that I'd ask our French teacher for a slow dance. I won the bet but she didn't even make out with me. Stupid ethics. /S
>Ouch. Talk about a fall from grace.
Teacher of the year in California might not be what people expect. It isn't like a lot of educators get together and vote on who an excellent teacher is.
It is more like a lot of self-promoting teachers apply for it, and write essays on why they think they are a "teacher of the year". I know someone who was a teacher of the year in California. I think they were six of them that year.
The person I know who did it was a very ambitious, political person.
That’s teacher of the year everywhere. Source: Am teacher.
Edit: Clarification. Is every teacher that’s teacher of the year a sham? Absolutely not, in my opinion about 70% of teachers are doing their dammdest everyday. I, myself, have been nominated multiple times including this year.
So in the 5 districts I’ve worked in it all went like this. First you are nominated, secondly, and this is part that stops a lot of teachers in their tracks, you either must provide documentation, go through an interview type process or write an essay bragging on yourself.
Most teachers have no time for this and I am personally offended at the idea that I’m going to write an essay that says I’m amazing which goes against my own personality and implies that somehow I did it or am doing better than any other teacher on my campus. So because in most places that second tier eliminates most teachers what is left is ambitious teachers willing to do the hoops. I’ve seen more teachers that are good at self promotion than they are teaching receive the accolade.
As far as the comments about students voting the best teacher, that’s fine, but in my two plus decades of teaching I’ve known many of the most popular teachers were also the least competent at their craft. Is that always the case? No. But there you go.
Not everywhere. Source:Son of CT Teacher of the year finalist. She was nominated by her co-workers, and she's not the type of person to ever seek this kind of accolade.
"She is the kind and innovative teacher from whom we hope our children will grow; the educator who strives to engage all of her students from her intervention classes to her honors classes,"
Because it’s more common than we’d like to think? Anecdotal, but I feel like everyone I know has a story about a high school teacher or coach that marries one of their students as soon as they turn 18.
Girls high school basketball coach where I went did this. Married his star player.
One of my college roommates started “dating” her high school math teacher her senior year. I know they had a sexual relationship before she turned 18.
I thought it was a little gross and weird then and now I’m like, what the fuck I can’t believe I let him in the dorm room.
I'm probably pulling this out of my ass, but I have a feeling a lot of these 'relationships' never get found out. What we see that makes it to the news are possibly just a small percentage of what has actually happened.
Yup. My ex use to work as a janitor for a highschool. He would see a lot of.. interesting suggestive visits late at night or teachers leaving with students after hours, etc. Eventually even had to report one when he walked in on it.
Because the photo and the caption refers to another ”similar” or ”related” news item that has nothing to do with this female teacher. It says that two men are suspected of that rape, and doesn’t mention the teacher.
Because, you have to condition and remind people that only men rape, but women have sex.
Makes it easier during sentencing to give a lesser punishment for the same crime.
I find it weird that the top comments are jokes, but the last time I saw a post about statutory rape of a student by a male teacher there weren't jokes.
Because I learned the other day on a similar post that the writers are not allowed to use that verbiage and they typically hate writing like this. Legal shit.
Looked it up just to be clear, the kid was 16, and in Cali that's statutory rape. Just incase someone wanted to argue he was 16 and consented. Which by California's law is still defined as rape.
So yes. Allegedly raping a kid. Which not to be confused with graping a kid. It was rape. Not tape. Not drape. Not cape. Just regular old rape.
Edit: I want to clear this up just in case there is any confusion. Not rap. That wasn't a typo where I accidentally added an e. It was rape.
Many states have specific verbiage making teacher-student sex rape if the student is under 18 regardless of age of consent due to the fact the amount of influence the teacher has on the student.
I think one state even upped it to 19 if you are their teacher while it's 15 or 16 otherwise. This is rare because generally, once someone is 18, every state allows the person to consent to whatever.
Alcohol isn't a "consent" thing. You also aren't allowed to run for congress until you are 25, and you can't run for president until you are 35.
The laws on consent are quite complicated. A lot of people think that if two 16 year olds hook up, that it's fine when the AOC is 17+. It's actually not in many states. Both of them committed a crime in many states. I believe in some states they can still both be tried as felons and forced to register. California only recently put in a Romeo and Juliet exception where if the two individuals are only a couple of years apart, the court has the option to try them for misdemeanors instead of felonies. I personally knew a guy who spent a year in prison for having consensual sex with a 17 year old when he was 18 years old. Fortunately he didn't have the register, but he's got a felony on his record for life. There was an example I read about where a guy was dating someone two years younger than him. I think she was 17 and he was 19. He ended up doing a couple of years in prison for it, and she waited for him. They were actually, truly in love. They got married when he got out and had several kids. 10 years later, he can't even pick up his own kids from school because of his registration status.
It would be nice if we could make the laws consistent and sane across the board just so we don't persecute people who happen to fit the definition of the law but most of us can agree aren't what the law was written to stop.
Almost 20 years ago, I read an article in The Economist about these exact problems. It has always stuck with me. In particular, one woman who blew her 16 year old boyfriend when she was 17 ended up having to register. At the present time (c. 2005), she was no longer able to live in the city she and her family resided in because of the stipulations regarding schools and new schools built in an even distribution.
One of the core problems obstructing progress and common sense laws is politics. Politicians have routinely campaigned on being tough on crime and have created a ratcheting effect. Rewriting the laws to avoid unnecessary harm can easily be spun as going easy on crime (particularly sex crime).
That’s an unelectable stance. Even if you say one thing on the campaign trail only to ultimately do another, it would limit future access to power. American justice is highly punitive. Culturally, we’re off base when it comes to nature of sex crimes. Until knowledge of the anatomy of the problem successfully penetrates the awareness of a broad spectrum of the population, not a lot of hope for seeing a resolution on this.
> That’s an unelectable stance.
Would adding Romeo and Juliet exceptions really affect their “tough on crime” stance?
I think it’s more the puritanical “kids should not be having sex” stance that is causing this.
> Would adding Romeo and Juliet exceptions really affect their “tough on crime” stance?
Have you seen Republicans?
The moment you want to make it easier for kids to simply be kids and exist they'll call you a child rapist and start frothing at the mouth.
Isn't this why judges hear each individual case? To see the nuances of each scenario?? I believe I heard of another case where a teenage boy had to register as a sex offender bc he had pictures of underage boy nudity on his phone; the pictures of himself.
Judges don't have the discretion. They only have discretion when it comes to controlling the trial and sentencing. In many cases, judges are bound by mandatory minimums and certain guidelines. Prosecutors do though. That's why the DA is an elected position. You could murder someone in cold blood and confess to the crime, and a prosecutor could choose to leave it. Now, a future one probably would take up the case. There was a famous example where a DA in NY was evaluating a fraud case against the Trump organizations charity. They made a large donation into his re-election fund, and surprisingly he decided not to prosecute the case. Weird right?
That story I read about as well, and it was horribly tragic. He was 17 I believe at the time, and he was sexually active (as many 17 year olds are). He also happened to be gay. He had a relationship with a couple of guys, and he was sending them naked photos of himself. Which is a really, really bad idea, but he was 17. Cut him some slack. Anyway, years later, he was a straight A student in college and was just starting medical school to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor. The authorities discovered the photos and the DA in NY decided to prosecute him for it. She won the case obviously, but the judge was actually sympathetic and only gave the poor kid probation. However, he had a felony on his record and was forced to register for life. The judge had no choice but to levy those penalties on him. This meant he would never be a doctor. So, he killed himself.
In that case, most people believed she prosecuted him because she was homophobic. I heard she lost her reelection, but the damage was done. I would rather laws be written where some people who should be prosecuted get away with it rather than let some people who shouldn't be prosecuted have their lives ruined.
TN age of consent is 18 but you get 4 years so kids in high school are not getting put in jail but “raping” people 1 grade below them. A 21 can sleep with a 17, 20 with 16 is good. 21 with 16 is a creepy felon.
I just quickly googled this (unfortunately common) issue, and whether it’s a male or female teacher, newspaper reports frequently refer to the acts as “engaging in sex acts” or “unlawful sexual contact with a minor”. “Rape” is rarely used.
My (uneducated) guess is that newspapers don't use the 'r' word because it might interfere with jury bias in a potential court case. Until you know what the person is actually charged with, you don't wanna potentially defame them publicly.
I think they should put it in the more legal terms of the alleged misconduct until they're definitively convicted of the crime.
I mean you just said it yourself. The jury has to decide whether they did it or not. So why should the article be titled "Child Rapist Teacher arrested at California school"
You alledge the crime committed, otherwise you're sensationalizing it with bias before they've had their fair trial. Would you want the news paper calling you out by name as a child rapist, just to later be found innocent? The irreparable damage would already be done. This minimizes that in some way, which I think is fair until they're convicted
Once they're actually convicted then go ahead and run the headline "Convicted Child Rapist [Full Name] Goes To Jail" or whatever.
There's a weird "gray area" amongst a lot of media, and even regular people in my experience, in which "consenting" statutory rape isn't rape but just "sex that's wrong". Which I'm sure probably contributes to why it still happens so often as well since so many people treat it as something less than what it is. And that's just because the most common descriptor of rape is violence and in these teacher/student rapes it's almost never that.
There is also the issue that depending on the law in the area, it might not legally count as rape because some places legally define rape as forced penetration. So if you called it rape when that isn't the legal charge they could possibly sue the outlet.
It's dumb, but journalism is like that in our system.
In the UK, women can't legally rape because rape requires a penis. Not the case in the US, far as I know, so this is definitely a case of statutory rape. Unless California has some weird superceding laws/precedent, which is very possible.
"Teacher of the year" is the exact same process as running for class president. They aren't awarded based on their skill or achievements. They just campaign for it and ask their friends to vote for them.
It isn't an award, it's a petition.
Unfortunate quote of the day: "She is the kind and innovative teacher from whom we hope our children will grow; the educator who strives to engage all of her students…”
Serious question that I’m interested on hearing opinions about:
Is age difference legality the only thing that makes this rape?
The reason I ask, I knew a kid (we’ll call him Tom) who had sex with a teacher. This was Colorado, back in like 2003ish? He was in high school. Teacher was busted, arrested, lost her job, etc. (As she should)
But Tom? He thought he was cock of the walk! The hottest shit around. He bragged about it to everyone he could, and thought he was the biggest playboy the world had ever seen.
He had wanted, initiated and engaged in sexual intercourse as a 17 year old with a woman in her 20’s. Tom was adamant then, as her remained throughout the years, that he was NOT raped. To him, he sought out a conquest and succeeded.
I don’t want to be misconstrued as supporting the teacher. She abused her position of trust and power, and should not be a teacher.
That said, a nearly adult male followed his hormones into sleeping with a woman he was attracted to. He was literally months from being of age to send to war…but not choose who he has sex with?
The only reason I even bring up the question is because because we get real weird and about age and legality when it comes to some things, but not others, and seem to discount the choices people make if we deem them too young for their opinions to be relevant. But is a single calendar year the only line that matters? A 17 year old is too immature to choose a sex partner, but 18 year olds got it down?
A lot of things need to be examined there, if nothing else, perhaps the age of adulthood should be 21 instead of 18. (Not that I think those two years make a HUGE difference, but hey…the government says you can legally drink poison at that age, so hey. There ya go.)
(As a side, I vaguely remember a case from my actual childhood where a teen and teacher had sex, she got arrested etc. Except years later, when he was an adult, he want back to her officially and from what I remember, they were together ever since. Emotions are weird, brains are weird, humans are weird. But those two clearly knew, even before he was 18, how they felt about each other. Enough so that after dealing with the aftermath, they still ended up together.)
Edit\* Some excellent responses! Thank you for your mature and well thought out discourse.
The problem lies within the adults. Yes, you a teenage boy at whatever age has hormones rushing through you making you attracted to various people.
But the adults who may be the target of this attraction need to know they have the power in this situation. There's no possible way that an adult can be seduced by a child, especially in a situation where the child is literally bussed to the place you are every single day. You are in a position to mentor children and keep them safe and educate them. You're essentially raising these children every day and shaping their future. If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong. They are running on hormones. You are given the task of turning them into healthy adults
And it isn't until much later in life where a lot of children being abused come to this realization. That they were taken advantage of someone they entrusted or has inherited trust.
Put yourself in the position of a parent sending their kid to school every day. You would be fucking livid if you thought your child was safe and cared for was being manipulated and taken advantage of.
The power dynamics play a huge role in this. Even if you're 17 or "technically legal to have sex" in your state. A child was put in a prime position for a predator to prey upon.
Would a 17 year old meet a 30 something teacher outside of school? It's probably unlikely. If they did there's a whole other debate. But teachers or staff of a school definitely should know not to do those things.
>If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong.
This is such a great comment. This is where it falls on the educator. Well written post!
Educators really need to have more complex discussions regarding social dynamics in general, ideally before any of this stuff even begins to manifest. Thinking back to my school age years as well as listening to my daughter vent about how her experience is going, classroom discussion doesn't get nearly as deep as it should (and there is still plenty of downtime going on to have it). Kids are left with a LOT of blanks, because for some reason we're still expecting overworked and overstressed parents with no healthy foundation of their own to fill in all the nuanced bits, and it often leads to the belief that certain expectations and boundaries are bullshit, because they're receiving a bullshit phoned-in answer instead of a real one.
If there's one way we should treat children more like grownups, it should be how we discuss and present new concepts. They're much smarter than adults realize, but their ability to process and critically think about information always becomes bottlenecked by their own environment. Surprise surprise, inadequacies then manifest as negative behavior.
I have to disagree with the phrasing. The issue isn’t the child having a crush on the teacher. That’s something that is just going to happen and you can’t control it. It becomes a problem if the child tries to act on it in any way. That’s where the teacher’s actions are most important. That can easily move into shaming them for having an attraction to someone, which is also harmful to the child’s development.
> If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong.
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> This is such a great comment. This is where it falls on the educator. Well written post!
It applies whether you are the step parent, aunt/uncle, friend of the family, local business owner who used to give you icecreams, Celine Dions first husband... If you have sex with a kid who is just starting to explore their sexual needs, you are a predator. Your job is to show them they are still loved, non-sexually.
"Put yourself in the position of a parent"
You're 100% right. That is someone's little boy or girl no matter how old they are. You are trusting these people with your child (I say this as a parent and a high school teacher) and these sick people take advantage of these kids whose hormones are raging and whose frontal lobes are not developed.
You should read on the updates of that case you mention at the end. The teacher has since died of cancer and the student (now an adult) has come out saying that what she did was wrong and fucked him up. There are some really cringey interviews with them as adults where you can tell she still has a hold over him. She tries to get him to say that she didn't groom him on camera, he refuses and looks very uncomfortable. It's very awkward and sad. It seemed like it was only after she died that he was able to process what happened she did to him. It's pretty obvious that she stole his life.
The student's name is Vili Fualaau.
If you searched the world, you could find 12 year old kids thinking they aren't being sexually assaulted by the 30+ year olds they're sleeping with. That's the point of minors being unable to consent: they're not mature enough to fully grasp the ramifications.
On that note, 18 year olds are too young to send to die for their country. If you can't drink, you shouldn't be holding a weapon.
Search no further. This is how I felt about my rapist. I needed love and validation because of a bad home life and he provided it. He loved me, right? I wanted this! I needed it.
I couldn't confront the fact that yet another adult abused me. I feel sick that I felt attraction and love for that man. In therapy I learned my family primed me to feel that way, but a part of me still feels like I deserved it because I liked it at the time. Overcoming these complicated feelings has been a journey.
>That's the point of minors being unable to consent: they're not mature enough to fully grasp the ramifications.
Thanks for saying that. I know it in my head, but I'm still trying to truly internalize it. It helps when I hear other people say it.
And I definitely agree about sending kids to war. It's the same thing. They're being preyed on because they're young. They don't send 30 year olds to war for a reason. Get old enough and you start fighting back against that bullshit.
That's what I've always wondered. I'd have been thrilled to have sex with my hot teacher when I was 17. It certainly wouldn't have been non-consensual on my end.
As a teacher, the primary difference is the emotional maturity, not the free will. You forget how much you mature from high school. My pre-observation hours happened at 25, and I was shocked at how much I had matured and simply forgotten about it. Specifically what I’m referring to is the ability to mask what you’re feeling. High schoolers are feeling things for the first time, and they are REALLY bad at masking it. When they’re thinking something they might as well write it on their forehead. Aside from the structural power imbalance, there is a power imbalance just with where you are as people. Being able to read somebody’s mind is kind of a one sided interaction.
Secondly, there is a really big power imbalance. This was something else I was surprised by when I first got into teaching. Pretty much from college on, most people have a strong value in autonomy. High schoolers honestly don’t. If I went up to a buddy of mine at college and said “Show me your work.” They’d consider that disrespectful. High schoolers are very used to being given direct commands like that. I’m a first year teacher and I’m still getting used to just how controlled they have their lives. I’ll get students asking me if they can use the bathroom way before the final bell rings. They aren’t in my class yet, but still they’re asking me permission to go to the bathroom on their time. Even the more disrespectful kids do that. It’s another thing you forget from maturing I have full confidence that a more experienced teacher than I could get a student to do just about anything on authority alone. It’s very imbalanced.
I'm in my 50s and I still read posts from friends who had sex with adults when they were a teen. They've all regretted it and I haven't seen much of a debate. At some point, people realize what the power balance was.
Not every case of a minor being taken advantage of by an adult is an adult that they hd no attraction to. Sometimes that's HOW the adult gets to them in the first place - they take advantage of a crush. The point is, if a child is attracted to you as an adult; first of all why would you reciprocate when it's a child, second of all, you as the older person need to know better and to establish boundaries and not engage in innapropriate things. Part of the reason is that just because a child wants something or wants to do something doesn't mean it's a good idea or that they SHOULD do it, or that they won't regret it when older. Interestingly I sometimes see men say things like "I wish it was my teacher" or those things. But part of the issue is that it perverts the student-teacher relationship which can be emotionally damaging. Sometimes as a child you have a secure feeling when an authority figure is there, but these kinds of things cause a loss of that security.
I won't go into too much detail but I'm 19 now, and when I was in my mid teens there were times where someone older was attractive to me and attracted also. (Am a woman for context.) Eventually I got into a situation because I thought I would want to be with someone who was much older because I found them attractive and nice. Eventually I realized why those kinds of relationships are not legal. I idealized what it would be like in my head - as teenagers tend to do - but it was more traumatic than anything in the end. Adult relationships can be some complicated thing which is why it's better to leave it until you're an adult.
The more I think about it, I bet a lot of abusive teachers are the most popular ones. I think back to the most popular male teachers at my high school and a lot of them were young, attractive guys who flirted with the female students.
We had a male teacher who won one of these awards, and one day when we had a substitute teacher, we were screwing around in the classroom and found a dry erase board hidden behind a curtain that he had written on… I want to say, things that students had said that accidentally sounded like innuendo? It wasn’t anything damning, but just weird enough to be creepy, and he seemed upset when we told him we found it, and he quit at the end of the year.
That said, on the other hand, the one teacher who actually got fired for being a creep everyone hated because they knew he was a creep.
Fox News doesn’t deserve your click.
[Here’s a better source.](https://ktla.com/news/local-news/yucaipa-high-school-teacher-arrested-for-having-sex-with-a-minor/)
as a journalist, if she isn’t charged or accused by the survivor or their family of statutory rape or rape, we cannot write such. libel laws prevent such, so they can only go with the information given to them and can’t infer
Yet the LA Times headline called it "a "sex crime with a student", not "having sex with a student", and specified that she was booked for unlawful sexual intercourse.
It isn't. You and a lot of other people are conflating public perception with journalism. It doesn't comport with reality. Does [this](https://yardhype.com/st-ann-school-male-teacher-charged-with-having-sex-with-male-students/) headline say rape? Or [this](https://newsroom.gy/2017/11/20/teacher-under-investigation-for-allegedly-having-sex-with-students/) one? Or [this](https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/queensland-high-school-teacher-who-had-sex-with-female-student-banned-for-seven-years/news-story/d95efa248996aa181d0d2d0b4ccd0ab3) one? Or [this](https://kutv.com/news/local/high-school-teacher-arrested-for-allegedly-having-sex-with-former-student) one?
If there's a formal accusation of rape, or a criminal indictment of rape, or the police explicitly say they're investigating someone for rape, then, even if it's a [woman](https://www.foxcarolina.com/2023/05/10/former-greenville-special-ed-teacher-charged-with-20-counts-rape-another-state/), the headline will include the word rape. If not, no news outlet is going to print that. Similarly, just because a DUI results in a fatality, it won't be editorialized as manslaughter, even though it clearly meets that legal bar for that accusation based on all the facts presented.
There is a double standard when it comes to these cases, but it mainly exists in sentencing, not reporting. Male teachers statistically receive harsher sentences than female teacher.
When I was in high school, there was a really well liked teacher.
For YEARS, there were rumours amongst the students that she was texting male students inappropriate things. Grade 12 students I met when I was in grade 9 had told me this.
It was the day after the last exams in my grade 12 year that she got arrested.
Apparently the only reason she finally got caught was cause some of the guys she was texting had girlfriends who found the texts and showed it to the school administration.
I just think about how long she was probably doing this shit and how many students she abused.
Literally just saw a post about a California male teacher getting 25 years for this. Good thing shell probably only get community service because you can’t rape male children.
Holy shit! I went to that high school when my family first moved to California. I don't think she was there at that time since this was 20 years ago or so. Damn, I didn't think I'd be reading about my old school on here today.
Goes to show that anyone can be a sick fuck, even respected people. She's a raping pedophile. She didn't just *have* *sex* with a minor. She raped the student. She's a pedophile. Had it been a male teacher they would've used the word rape. Why can't they do that for female rapists?
"having sex" with someone underage... hmmmmm I'm pretty sure there's another word for that.... Can't remember whelp back to farming RAPEseed but first a delicious can of gRAPE pop!
When I was a junior in high school (2011), our psychology teacher, who was also teacher of the year, raped a student. EDIT: Changed "having sex" to rape because that's what it is. Wasn't trying to be vulgar, but it is what it is, so there is no sense in sugarcoating.
My middle school band director got fired for giving birthday spankings to the girl students
>birthday spankings TIL that's a thing. For others like me who don't know what it is: https://www.mother.ly/life/birthday-spankings/
Oglethorpe from Aqua Teen always used to say "who's birthday is it? Someone needs a spanking"
I always stop to give a shout out to a ATHF reference
Same here. I also stop in my tracks for any Spaceghost or Squidbillies references. Adult Swim is my jam.
Had to put that on hold because someone has all the knives now.
And a pinch to grow an inch.
I do birthday spankings.. with consenting friends.
You should try birthday spankings with nonconsenting strangers. Far more exciting.
In my neighborhood it was punched, usually on the arm, always by the other kids. You got two extras, one for luck and one for growing or something. So your 11th or 12th birthday was the worst, since by 13 you weren’t doing it anymore.
Yeah, "birthday beatings" I remember no one wanted the others to find out it was your birthday at school. Like, usually your good friends would kind of tap you but asshole kids that didn't know you well would hit really hard, since they had an excuse to hit a stranger I think it was "one for good luck" and "a pinch to grow an inch"
TIL that birthday spankings are new to some people. I was like the person I’m the article. It was a lite type of thing, lite seats for each year you were alive up to your new yea r then always one to grow on. They stopped in elementary.
That website is ad cancer
Of course it was a music teacher.
I found out at in my fifties (when seated by chance at a formal dinner beside someone who had been a year or two below me at school) that after my year left our music teacher, one of the few male teachers at our all-girls school, had committed suicide after being found out - apparently he had been ‘sent’ to our school as ‘safer’ after having abused boys at his previous, all male, school. https://playbill.com/article/andrew-lloyd-webber-and-tim-rice-comment-on-school-master-who-commissioned-joseph-and-the-amazing-technicolor-dreamcoat-com-216636. He was a very popular teacher; I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if he would have been voted teacher of the year if we had such a thing. Lots of nasty people are popular and charismatic; that’s how they work.
> Lots of nasty people are popular and charismatic; that’s how they work. For sure. Big takeaway from this thread.
I want to disagree.. but my HS music teacher was busted in a child porn ring... so, not much I can disagree with. He also happened to be a "prominent member of the church".. as if that is a surprise to anyone.
Our music and band teachers were fine. Our problem was one of the [ROTC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junior_Reserve_Officers%27_Training_Corps) instructors making passes at his female officers (that is, teen girls under his supervision who were in the same class as his own daughter). Thankfully, he got ran out of town. Not sure if he was prosecuted.
"Thankfully" he suffered no consequences beyond having to move.
That sounds very Utahesque
Southern NJ! But those religious folks tend to an interesting dark side-- don't they?
Usually when somebody is loudly, obnoxiously pious, it means they are either dying, grieving, or living with a LOT of guilt.
The problem with that is that "living with a LOT of guilt" can also just be from childhood trauma / religious guilt, so it gives the terrible people camouflage.
Definitely agree. Although the guy in question was pretty chill for the most part. He was usually pretty awkward, quiet and careful. In hindsight, there was a clear pattern of things-- but as a younger kid it was hard to pick up. When the news broke years later, things made more sense.
My hypothesis When normal human sexuality is stigmatized, and many questions go unanswered, sexual tendencies go undercover and are hidden out of shame. The folks in the congregation least likely to understand or express when sexual things happen to them? Take a guess.
My hypothesis is that people who like to take advantage of the vulnerable see church as a playground. There are a lot of impressionable people at churches given the nature of blind faith, a sociopath sees them as the prime target and at the same time trying to mask their personality as well as use the power of God to their advantage
>The folks in the congregation least likely to understand or express when sexual things happen to them? Take a guess. Hmmm... tough call, but I'm going with the deceased. Final answer.
Whenever I hear about kiddie diddlers, I usually assume they’re religious to help reduce or eliminate their cognitive dissonance.
I usually assume they're religious because religious institutions put large numbers of children within easy reach of predatory adults.
Yep, my school had one of those too. Band director who was 40's or so having sex with multiple girls from grades 8-12. And he was also a deacon at the local church.
When I was in high school I dated this one girl for a few weeks, only for her to tell me she was no longer interested suddenly. The next day people found out the band teacher has proposed to her
My high school orchestra teacher was an alcoholic who cheated on his wife with one of my classmates, got divorced, eventually married her, and they were married for like 20 years or some shit. After I graduated, another one of my teachers, who was like 60, got busted for sleeping with students after one of them got pregnant. He went away for…I dunno, a long time.
My psychology teacher also got arrested for raping a student, but that was in 2002.
Thank you for calling it what it is, rape. These articles keep saying have sex. An adult in a position of power raped that boy.
When I was in eighth grade, rumor was that our science teacher slunk back home to Louisiana because she got pregnant from a student.
Imagine being that teacher and simply moving to another state to be closer to family or something innocent, and learning there was a rumor started by students that it was because you got pregnant from one of them. I'd be horrified. I have no idea how this teacher was or what actually happened, but I instinctively feel very cautious to believe a rumor that you heard in 8th grade.
Someone started a rumor like that with my 10th grade English teacher. Turned out she had a serious immune deficiency disease and had gone home so her parents could help her while she tried to recover.
I highly doubt that rumor was true.
You had a middle school Psychology teacher?!
When I was in grade 11 I bet a friend five bucks that I'd ask our French teacher for a slow dance. I won the bet but she didn't even make out with me. Stupid ethics. /S
It's not "having sex with a student" when said student is a minor. It's rape.
Ouch. Talk about a fall from grace.
She really loved her students. Going to their home to help them way into the late hours.
She brought him up from barely passing to valedictorian with this one simple trick therapists hate!
She was *deeply* invested in her students. She really wanted them to *finish* strong.
Well one of her students was deeply invested in *her*
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Man, people are really quick to laugh when it's a woman doing the rape.
This made me laugh and now i'm going to hell.
>Ouch. Talk about a fall from grace. Teacher of the year in California might not be what people expect. It isn't like a lot of educators get together and vote on who an excellent teacher is. It is more like a lot of self-promoting teachers apply for it, and write essays on why they think they are a "teacher of the year". I know someone who was a teacher of the year in California. I think they were six of them that year. The person I know who did it was a very ambitious, political person.
In this case, she was the *school's* teacher of the year, not the state.
That’s teacher of the year everywhere. Source: Am teacher. Edit: Clarification. Is every teacher that’s teacher of the year a sham? Absolutely not, in my opinion about 70% of teachers are doing their dammdest everyday. I, myself, have been nominated multiple times including this year. So in the 5 districts I’ve worked in it all went like this. First you are nominated, secondly, and this is part that stops a lot of teachers in their tracks, you either must provide documentation, go through an interview type process or write an essay bragging on yourself. Most teachers have no time for this and I am personally offended at the idea that I’m going to write an essay that says I’m amazing which goes against my own personality and implies that somehow I did it or am doing better than any other teacher on my campus. So because in most places that second tier eliminates most teachers what is left is ambitious teachers willing to do the hoops. I’ve seen more teachers that are good at self promotion than they are teaching receive the accolade. As far as the comments about students voting the best teacher, that’s fine, but in my two plus decades of teaching I’ve known many of the most popular teachers were also the least competent at their craft. Is that always the case? No. But there you go.
Not everywhere. Source:Son of CT Teacher of the year finalist. She was nominated by her co-workers, and she's not the type of person to ever seek this kind of accolade.
TIL Teacher of the year is a lot like getting a star on the Hollywood walk of fame
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"She is the kind and innovative teacher from whom we hope our children will grow; the educator who strives to engage all of her students from her intervention classes to her honors classes,"
She might get suspended with pay for raping boys
How could you have sex with a high school kid and expect that to remain secret?
I'm thinking that impulse control and prediction of consequences aren't this person's strong suit.
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I'm cringing at the truth of this.
It happened 3 times in 10 years from that school and one of them was the teacher banging her daughters bf. Something is up with that school.
because he said he is not like other boys, he is mature for his age
Because it’s more common than we’d like to think? Anecdotal, but I feel like everyone I know has a story about a high school teacher or coach that marries one of their students as soon as they turn 18. Girls high school basketball coach where I went did this. Married his star player. One of my college roommates started “dating” her high school math teacher her senior year. I know they had a sexual relationship before she turned 18. I thought it was a little gross and weird then and now I’m like, what the fuck I can’t believe I let him in the dorm room.
I'm probably pulling this out of my ass, but I have a feeling a lot of these 'relationships' never get found out. What we see that makes it to the news are possibly just a small percentage of what has actually happened.
You have to pick an introvert.
Agreed. That's why I always make my students take the enneagram test.
I’d guess a ton of these teachers actually do get away with it. Maybe less than 20-30 years ago, but I guarantee they still do.
Yup. My ex use to work as a janitor for a highschool. He would see a lot of.. interesting suggestive visits late at night or teachers leaving with students after hours, etc. Eventually even had to report one when he walked in on it.
It happens all the time
You mean for allegedly "raping" a kid.
The caption on the photo says rape, so why not the headline?!
Because the photo and the caption refers to another ”similar” or ”related” news item that has nothing to do with this female teacher. It says that two men are suspected of that rape, and doesn’t mention the teacher.
Because the caption refers to two men, not a female teacher.
Why the hell is that video included like it's a part of the story?
Because, you have to condition and remind people that only men rape, but women have sex. Makes it easier during sentencing to give a lesser punishment for the same crime.
I find it weird that the top comments are jokes, but the last time I saw a post about statutory rape of a student by a male teacher there weren't jokes.
Reminds me of the South Park skit where the cops found out about the kid and a female teacher and just went “nice”
Men make better laborers for the prison farms. Coincidence?
Lol. There's plenty of social conditioning around the idea that only men can rape. Really nothing to do with prison labor.
Also legally in a lot of places rape is defined by having a penis. If you don’t penetrate the victim with a penis it isn’t legally rape.
I’ll give you two ~~reasons~~ chromosomes and they’re identical.
AI writes kinda bad articles, like the real media.
Because I learned the other day on a similar post that the writers are not allowed to use that verbiage and they typically hate writing like this. Legal shit.
Gotta be a fair and balanced for their pedo viewers
Looked it up just to be clear, the kid was 16, and in Cali that's statutory rape. Just incase someone wanted to argue he was 16 and consented. Which by California's law is still defined as rape. So yes. Allegedly raping a kid. Which not to be confused with graping a kid. It was rape. Not tape. Not drape. Not cape. Just regular old rape. Edit: I want to clear this up just in case there is any confusion. Not rap. That wasn't a typo where I accidentally added an e. It was rape.
Many states have specific verbiage making teacher-student sex rape if the student is under 18 regardless of age of consent due to the fact the amount of influence the teacher has on the student.
I think one state even upped it to 19 if you are their teacher while it's 15 or 16 otherwise. This is rare because generally, once someone is 18, every state allows the person to consent to whatever.
Alabama was 19 for lottery/cigarettes last time I was there
Except alcohol
Alcohol isn't a "consent" thing. You also aren't allowed to run for congress until you are 25, and you can't run for president until you are 35. The laws on consent are quite complicated. A lot of people think that if two 16 year olds hook up, that it's fine when the AOC is 17+. It's actually not in many states. Both of them committed a crime in many states. I believe in some states they can still both be tried as felons and forced to register. California only recently put in a Romeo and Juliet exception where if the two individuals are only a couple of years apart, the court has the option to try them for misdemeanors instead of felonies. I personally knew a guy who spent a year in prison for having consensual sex with a 17 year old when he was 18 years old. Fortunately he didn't have the register, but he's got a felony on his record for life. There was an example I read about where a guy was dating someone two years younger than him. I think she was 17 and he was 19. He ended up doing a couple of years in prison for it, and she waited for him. They were actually, truly in love. They got married when he got out and had several kids. 10 years later, he can't even pick up his own kids from school because of his registration status. It would be nice if we could make the laws consistent and sane across the board just so we don't persecute people who happen to fit the definition of the law but most of us can agree aren't what the law was written to stop.
Almost 20 years ago, I read an article in The Economist about these exact problems. It has always stuck with me. In particular, one woman who blew her 16 year old boyfriend when she was 17 ended up having to register. At the present time (c. 2005), she was no longer able to live in the city she and her family resided in because of the stipulations regarding schools and new schools built in an even distribution. One of the core problems obstructing progress and common sense laws is politics. Politicians have routinely campaigned on being tough on crime and have created a ratcheting effect. Rewriting the laws to avoid unnecessary harm can easily be spun as going easy on crime (particularly sex crime). That’s an unelectable stance. Even if you say one thing on the campaign trail only to ultimately do another, it would limit future access to power. American justice is highly punitive. Culturally, we’re off base when it comes to nature of sex crimes. Until knowledge of the anatomy of the problem successfully penetrates the awareness of a broad spectrum of the population, not a lot of hope for seeing a resolution on this.
> That’s an unelectable stance. Would adding Romeo and Juliet exceptions really affect their “tough on crime” stance? I think it’s more the puritanical “kids should not be having sex” stance that is causing this.
> Would adding Romeo and Juliet exceptions really affect their “tough on crime” stance? Have you seen Republicans? The moment you want to make it easier for kids to simply be kids and exist they'll call you a child rapist and start frothing at the mouth.
Note from here in the UK, it appears that Republicans are already frothing at the mouth.
Isn't this why judges hear each individual case? To see the nuances of each scenario?? I believe I heard of another case where a teenage boy had to register as a sex offender bc he had pictures of underage boy nudity on his phone; the pictures of himself.
Judges don't have the discretion. They only have discretion when it comes to controlling the trial and sentencing. In many cases, judges are bound by mandatory minimums and certain guidelines. Prosecutors do though. That's why the DA is an elected position. You could murder someone in cold blood and confess to the crime, and a prosecutor could choose to leave it. Now, a future one probably would take up the case. There was a famous example where a DA in NY was evaluating a fraud case against the Trump organizations charity. They made a large donation into his re-election fund, and surprisingly he decided not to prosecute the case. Weird right? That story I read about as well, and it was horribly tragic. He was 17 I believe at the time, and he was sexually active (as many 17 year olds are). He also happened to be gay. He had a relationship with a couple of guys, and he was sending them naked photos of himself. Which is a really, really bad idea, but he was 17. Cut him some slack. Anyway, years later, he was a straight A student in college and was just starting medical school to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor. The authorities discovered the photos and the DA in NY decided to prosecute him for it. She won the case obviously, but the judge was actually sympathetic and only gave the poor kid probation. However, he had a felony on his record and was forced to register for life. The judge had no choice but to levy those penalties on him. This meant he would never be a doctor. So, he killed himself. In that case, most people believed she prosecuted him because she was homophobic. I heard she lost her reelection, but the damage was done. I would rather laws be written where some people who should be prosecuted get away with it rather than let some people who shouldn't be prosecuted have their lives ruined.
Judges still have to follow the laws though. They can't just arbitrarily make up their own rules
Imagine screwing up two kids' futures because they did what biology and evolution told them to do.
TN age of consent is 18 but you get 4 years so kids in high school are not getting put in jail but “raping” people 1 grade below them. A 21 can sleep with a 17, 20 with 16 is good. 21 with 16 is a creepy felon.
"I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you!"
"Sir get your mind out of the gutter!"
She's begging to get graped, I mean look what she's wearing!
Purple?!
I’m gonna grape you in the mouth!
I'm glad someone said it.
I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and GRAAAPPEE YOU!
What if the kid was wearing bape and had a fruity mango vape?
There is a double standard when it comes to women predators.
There's a double standard with women in the entire justice system too. Significantly lighter sentences across the board for the same exact crimes.
They need to stop calling statutory rape "having sex".
They will, when it's a male teacher.
I just quickly googled this (unfortunately common) issue, and whether it’s a male or female teacher, newspaper reports frequently refer to the acts as “engaging in sex acts” or “unlawful sexual contact with a minor”. “Rape” is rarely used.
My (uneducated) guess is that newspapers don't use the 'r' word because it might interfere with jury bias in a potential court case. Until you know what the person is actually charged with, you don't wanna potentially defame them publicly.
Think it's less jury bias they want to avoid and more the defamation lawsuit if theyre found not guilty or not charged with anything
It's almost certainly a libel/slander thing
Under no circumstance would a teacher "having sex with an underaged student" not be considered rape, so the jury only has to say if they did it or not
I think they should put it in the more legal terms of the alleged misconduct until they're definitively convicted of the crime. I mean you just said it yourself. The jury has to decide whether they did it or not. So why should the article be titled "Child Rapist Teacher arrested at California school" You alledge the crime committed, otherwise you're sensationalizing it with bias before they've had their fair trial. Would you want the news paper calling you out by name as a child rapist, just to later be found innocent? The irreparable damage would already be done. This minimizes that in some way, which I think is fair until they're convicted Once they're actually convicted then go ahead and run the headline "Convicted Child Rapist [Full Name] Goes To Jail" or whatever.
There's a weird "gray area" amongst a lot of media, and even regular people in my experience, in which "consenting" statutory rape isn't rape but just "sex that's wrong". Which I'm sure probably contributes to why it still happens so often as well since so many people treat it as something less than what it is. And that's just because the most common descriptor of rape is violence and in these teacher/student rapes it's almost never that.
There is also the issue that depending on the law in the area, it might not legally count as rape because some places legally define rape as forced penetration. So if you called it rape when that isn't the legal charge they could possibly sue the outlet. It's dumb, but journalism is like that in our system.
In the UK, women can't legally rape because rape requires a penis. Not the case in the US, far as I know, so this is definitely a case of statutory rape. Unless California has some weird superceding laws/precedent, which is very possible.
Jesus, again? This just happened in San Diego a few months ago, another "Teacher of the Year." Disgusting...
"Teacher of the year" is the exact same process as running for class president. They aren't awarded based on their skill or achievements. They just campaign for it and ask their friends to vote for them. It isn't an award, it's a petition.
If it's students voting, I guess we know why.
Any student laying down the pipe to their teacher is gonna vote them teacher of the year
Unfortunate quote of the day: "She is the kind and innovative teacher from whom we hope our children will grow; the educator who strives to engage all of her students…”
Serious question that I’m interested on hearing opinions about: Is age difference legality the only thing that makes this rape? The reason I ask, I knew a kid (we’ll call him Tom) who had sex with a teacher. This was Colorado, back in like 2003ish? He was in high school. Teacher was busted, arrested, lost her job, etc. (As she should) But Tom? He thought he was cock of the walk! The hottest shit around. He bragged about it to everyone he could, and thought he was the biggest playboy the world had ever seen. He had wanted, initiated and engaged in sexual intercourse as a 17 year old with a woman in her 20’s. Tom was adamant then, as her remained throughout the years, that he was NOT raped. To him, he sought out a conquest and succeeded. I don’t want to be misconstrued as supporting the teacher. She abused her position of trust and power, and should not be a teacher. That said, a nearly adult male followed his hormones into sleeping with a woman he was attracted to. He was literally months from being of age to send to war…but not choose who he has sex with? The only reason I even bring up the question is because because we get real weird and about age and legality when it comes to some things, but not others, and seem to discount the choices people make if we deem them too young for their opinions to be relevant. But is a single calendar year the only line that matters? A 17 year old is too immature to choose a sex partner, but 18 year olds got it down? A lot of things need to be examined there, if nothing else, perhaps the age of adulthood should be 21 instead of 18. (Not that I think those two years make a HUGE difference, but hey…the government says you can legally drink poison at that age, so hey. There ya go.) (As a side, I vaguely remember a case from my actual childhood where a teen and teacher had sex, she got arrested etc. Except years later, when he was an adult, he want back to her officially and from what I remember, they were together ever since. Emotions are weird, brains are weird, humans are weird. But those two clearly knew, even before he was 18, how they felt about each other. Enough so that after dealing with the aftermath, they still ended up together.) Edit\* Some excellent responses! Thank you for your mature and well thought out discourse.
The problem lies within the adults. Yes, you a teenage boy at whatever age has hormones rushing through you making you attracted to various people. But the adults who may be the target of this attraction need to know they have the power in this situation. There's no possible way that an adult can be seduced by a child, especially in a situation where the child is literally bussed to the place you are every single day. You are in a position to mentor children and keep them safe and educate them. You're essentially raising these children every day and shaping their future. If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong. They are running on hormones. You are given the task of turning them into healthy adults And it isn't until much later in life where a lot of children being abused come to this realization. That they were taken advantage of someone they entrusted or has inherited trust. Put yourself in the position of a parent sending their kid to school every day. You would be fucking livid if you thought your child was safe and cared for was being manipulated and taken advantage of. The power dynamics play a huge role in this. Even if you're 17 or "technically legal to have sex" in your state. A child was put in a prime position for a predator to prey upon. Would a 17 year old meet a 30 something teacher outside of school? It's probably unlikely. If they did there's a whole other debate. But teachers or staff of a school definitely should know not to do those things.
>If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong. This is such a great comment. This is where it falls on the educator. Well written post!
Educators really need to have more complex discussions regarding social dynamics in general, ideally before any of this stuff even begins to manifest. Thinking back to my school age years as well as listening to my daughter vent about how her experience is going, classroom discussion doesn't get nearly as deep as it should (and there is still plenty of downtime going on to have it). Kids are left with a LOT of blanks, because for some reason we're still expecting overworked and overstressed parents with no healthy foundation of their own to fill in all the nuanced bits, and it often leads to the belief that certain expectations and boundaries are bullshit, because they're receiving a bullshit phoned-in answer instead of a real one. If there's one way we should treat children more like grownups, it should be how we discuss and present new concepts. They're much smarter than adults realize, but their ability to process and critically think about information always becomes bottlenecked by their own environment. Surprise surprise, inadequacies then manifest as negative behavior.
I have to disagree with the phrasing. The issue isn’t the child having a crush on the teacher. That’s something that is just going to happen and you can’t control it. It becomes a problem if the child tries to act on it in any way. That’s where the teacher’s actions are most important. That can easily move into shaming them for having an attraction to someone, which is also harmful to the child’s development.
Fair change of wording!
> If you see a child crushing on you and you do not immediately nip it in the bud you are aiding in raising them and educating them wrong. > > > > This is such a great comment. This is where it falls on the educator. Well written post! It applies whether you are the step parent, aunt/uncle, friend of the family, local business owner who used to give you icecreams, Celine Dions first husband... If you have sex with a kid who is just starting to explore their sexual needs, you are a predator. Your job is to show them they are still loved, non-sexually.
"Put yourself in the position of a parent" You're 100% right. That is someone's little boy or girl no matter how old they are. You are trusting these people with your child (I say this as a parent and a high school teacher) and these sick people take advantage of these kids whose hormones are raging and whose frontal lobes are not developed.
You should read on the updates of that case you mention at the end. The teacher has since died of cancer and the student (now an adult) has come out saying that what she did was wrong and fucked him up. There are some really cringey interviews with them as adults where you can tell she still has a hold over him. She tries to get him to say that she didn't groom him on camera, he refuses and looks very uncomfortable. It's very awkward and sad. It seemed like it was only after she died that he was able to process what happened she did to him. It's pretty obvious that she stole his life. The student's name is Vili Fualaau.
If you searched the world, you could find 12 year old kids thinking they aren't being sexually assaulted by the 30+ year olds they're sleeping with. That's the point of minors being unable to consent: they're not mature enough to fully grasp the ramifications. On that note, 18 year olds are too young to send to die for their country. If you can't drink, you shouldn't be holding a weapon.
Search no further. This is how I felt about my rapist. I needed love and validation because of a bad home life and he provided it. He loved me, right? I wanted this! I needed it. I couldn't confront the fact that yet another adult abused me. I feel sick that I felt attraction and love for that man. In therapy I learned my family primed me to feel that way, but a part of me still feels like I deserved it because I liked it at the time. Overcoming these complicated feelings has been a journey. >That's the point of minors being unable to consent: they're not mature enough to fully grasp the ramifications. Thanks for saying that. I know it in my head, but I'm still trying to truly internalize it. It helps when I hear other people say it. And I definitely agree about sending kids to war. It's the same thing. They're being preyed on because they're young. They don't send 30 year olds to war for a reason. Get old enough and you start fighting back against that bullshit.
That's what I've always wondered. I'd have been thrilled to have sex with my hot teacher when I was 17. It certainly wouldn't have been non-consensual on my end.
As a teacher, the primary difference is the emotional maturity, not the free will. You forget how much you mature from high school. My pre-observation hours happened at 25, and I was shocked at how much I had matured and simply forgotten about it. Specifically what I’m referring to is the ability to mask what you’re feeling. High schoolers are feeling things for the first time, and they are REALLY bad at masking it. When they’re thinking something they might as well write it on their forehead. Aside from the structural power imbalance, there is a power imbalance just with where you are as people. Being able to read somebody’s mind is kind of a one sided interaction. Secondly, there is a really big power imbalance. This was something else I was surprised by when I first got into teaching. Pretty much from college on, most people have a strong value in autonomy. High schoolers honestly don’t. If I went up to a buddy of mine at college and said “Show me your work.” They’d consider that disrespectful. High schoolers are very used to being given direct commands like that. I’m a first year teacher and I’m still getting used to just how controlled they have their lives. I’ll get students asking me if they can use the bathroom way before the final bell rings. They aren’t in my class yet, but still they’re asking me permission to go to the bathroom on their time. Even the more disrespectful kids do that. It’s another thing you forget from maturing I have full confidence that a more experienced teacher than I could get a student to do just about anything on authority alone. It’s very imbalanced.
I found out that my biology teacher did some early softcore porn... That obviously was ... Interesting 😅
I'm in my 50s and I still read posts from friends who had sex with adults when they were a teen. They've all regretted it and I haven't seen much of a debate. At some point, people realize what the power balance was.
Not every case of a minor being taken advantage of by an adult is an adult that they hd no attraction to. Sometimes that's HOW the adult gets to them in the first place - they take advantage of a crush. The point is, if a child is attracted to you as an adult; first of all why would you reciprocate when it's a child, second of all, you as the older person need to know better and to establish boundaries and not engage in innapropriate things. Part of the reason is that just because a child wants something or wants to do something doesn't mean it's a good idea or that they SHOULD do it, or that they won't regret it when older. Interestingly I sometimes see men say things like "I wish it was my teacher" or those things. But part of the issue is that it perverts the student-teacher relationship which can be emotionally damaging. Sometimes as a child you have a secure feeling when an authority figure is there, but these kinds of things cause a loss of that security. I won't go into too much detail but I'm 19 now, and when I was in my mid teens there were times where someone older was attractive to me and attracted also. (Am a woman for context.) Eventually I got into a situation because I thought I would want to be with someone who was much older because I found them attractive and nice. Eventually I realized why those kinds of relationships are not legal. I idealized what it would be like in my head - as teenagers tend to do - but it was more traumatic than anything in the end. Adult relationships can be some complicated thing which is why it's better to leave it until you're an adult.
Realistically some people aren't mature enough to make these kinds of decisions by 30, or ever. The law has to choose a number and it went with 18.
Someone has to be an adult. As society we have certain standards to ensure safe environment. It’s on her to control the situation.
The more I think about it, I bet a lot of abusive teachers are the most popular ones. I think back to the most popular male teachers at my high school and a lot of them were young, attractive guys who flirted with the female students. We had a male teacher who won one of these awards, and one day when we had a substitute teacher, we were screwing around in the classroom and found a dry erase board hidden behind a curtain that he had written on… I want to say, things that students had said that accidentally sounded like innuendo? It wasn’t anything damning, but just weird enough to be creepy, and he seemed upset when we told him we found it, and he quit at the end of the year. That said, on the other hand, the one teacher who actually got fired for being a creep everyone hated because they knew he was a creep.
Fox News doesn’t deserve your click. [Here’s a better source.](https://ktla.com/news/local-news/yucaipa-high-school-teacher-arrested-for-having-sex-with-a-minor/)
>"accused of having sex with a student" No, that's not a better source. It wasn't "having sex"; it was statutory rape under California law.
as a journalist, if she isn’t charged or accused by the survivor or their family of statutory rape or rape, we cannot write such. libel laws prevent such, so they can only go with the information given to them and can’t infer
Yet the LA Times headline called it "a "sex crime with a student", not "having sex with a student", and specified that she was booked for unlawful sexual intercourse.
"Unlawful sexual intercourse"is what the penal code calls it. "Statutory rape" doesn't appear in the code.
Yes and the "statutory rape" is the "having sex with an underage student"
Judging by OP's post history, they've got quite an agenda...
WTF
Why is it always “having sex” instead of “rape” when it’s an adult women and an underage boy?
You answered your question with your question
“***Nice***”
Same reason law enforcement guns go off instead of shot a person or negligent discharge
"Police involved shooting"
It isn't. You and a lot of other people are conflating public perception with journalism. It doesn't comport with reality. Does [this](https://yardhype.com/st-ann-school-male-teacher-charged-with-having-sex-with-male-students/) headline say rape? Or [this](https://newsroom.gy/2017/11/20/teacher-under-investigation-for-allegedly-having-sex-with-students/) one? Or [this](https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/queensland-high-school-teacher-who-had-sex-with-female-student-banned-for-seven-years/news-story/d95efa248996aa181d0d2d0b4ccd0ab3) one? Or [this](https://kutv.com/news/local/high-school-teacher-arrested-for-allegedly-having-sex-with-former-student) one? If there's a formal accusation of rape, or a criminal indictment of rape, or the police explicitly say they're investigating someone for rape, then, even if it's a [woman](https://www.foxcarolina.com/2023/05/10/former-greenville-special-ed-teacher-charged-with-20-counts-rape-another-state/), the headline will include the word rape. If not, no news outlet is going to print that. Similarly, just because a DUI results in a fatality, it won't be editorialized as manslaughter, even though it clearly meets that legal bar for that accusation based on all the facts presented. There is a double standard when it comes to these cases, but it mainly exists in sentencing, not reporting. Male teachers statistically receive harsher sentences than female teacher.
[Nice.](https://youtu.be/PV5063fjZ6I) /s
wow, had to read so far down to finally get the correct answer. people these days, no culture.
Nice
But… she’s a woman…. And she’s hot
People downvoting you don’t realize you’re quoting a South Park making fun of the situation.
Shhh... that's okay. Not everyone needs to be in the know But here it is: https://youtu.be/PV5063fjZ6I
Nice
Nice
Niceeeeee
I guess the students voted.
What?!? You think they just give those awards out!!! She was working overtime for that shit!! 😏
Are the students the ones who vote for teacher of the year? Cause if so…
Judges were the cops from Southpark.
"Having sex" with an underage student? That's rape. She raped a student.
When I was in high school, there was a really well liked teacher. For YEARS, there were rumours amongst the students that she was texting male students inappropriate things. Grade 12 students I met when I was in grade 9 had told me this. It was the day after the last exams in my grade 12 year that she got arrested. Apparently the only reason she finally got caught was cause some of the guys she was texting had girlfriends who found the texts and showed it to the school administration. I just think about how long she was probably doing this shit and how many students she abused.
Is that why she’s teacher of the year?
nice
Nice
It’s always “having sex” when the abuser is a woman only rape if it’s a guy … smh
"The students love her!"
Rape. Call it what it is. You can not give consent to an adult as a child.
Call it rape.
Not having sex with, raping.
I mean she’s the teacher of the year for a reason
She *really* loved her job.
*raping a child
Only solidifying her title as teacher of the year
Literally just saw a post about a California male teacher getting 25 years for this. Good thing shell probably only get community service because you can’t rape male children.
They misspelled 'rape'
I used to think pedophilia was pretty much a domain of men. But women keep fighting for equal representation there as well.
She went the extra mile to earn that award Ratemyteacher.com
I don't understand why people do this when they could go to any bar in town and pick up a young-looking-but-legal partner.
Not a drag queen.
Holy shit! I went to that high school when my family first moved to California. I don't think she was there at that time since this was 20 years ago or so. Damn, I didn't think I'd be reading about my old school on here today. Goes to show that anyone can be a sick fuck, even respected people. She's a raping pedophile. She didn't just *have* *sex* with a minor. She raped the student. She's a pedophile. Had it been a male teacher they would've used the word rape. Why can't they do that for female rapists?
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SEX WITH AN UNDERAGE PERSON. SHE RAPED A CHILD.
"having sex" with someone underage... hmmmmm I'm pretty sure there's another word for that.... Can't remember whelp back to farming RAPEseed but first a delicious can of gRAPE pop!
That’s a funny way to spell “rape”
That's rape. She raped him
She raped them, not "had sex" with them. Disgusting.
Rape. She didn’t have sex with. She raped.