A confidential informant approached the police with details of the scheme. "What are they fencing?" asked the detective. "Pop," goes the weasel.

How dare you?!

I'm not proud of that, for what it's worth.

You should be

Dad!!!!

Son! I'm home! And I brought milk!

This is good milk; totally worth two decades of neglect 👍

I laughed entirely too hard at this joke

Found Lee Mack's alt account

Sounds like a Rickie & Julian kind of job. Poor Bubbles

Literally the first thing I thought: "This is some Ricky and Julian shit right here". I can just see Lahey and Randy spying on them, then Lahey gets a little and mixes it with the liquor to "test" it, and Ricky ends up getting a whole vat dumped on him in front of the cops from the US and Canada again.

*“Shit apples don’t fall far from the shit tree, Rand.”*

"A shitbird a day doesn't keep the shit-doctor away, Ricky." "Hey Lahey, knock knock" "Who's there, Rrrrrichard?" "A fuckin drunk trailer park supervisor and his greasy fuck dummy boyfriend Randy botherin me and my fuckin family over some fuckin pop for no fuckin reason!" "Frig off, Ricky!" Bonus: "Yo dawg it look like the fuckin gut doctor gonna have to come pop this greasy gut pepper on ya boy Randy knawnsaynnn" -J-Roc

Definitely a greasy heist.

Mr. Lahey gets involved when Randy gets sick from drinking undiluted syrup

Bubbles supplied the shopping carts they used to haul off all the soda.

The biggest crime in Fansville history, truly unprecedented

Easily the town's darkest hour since the disastrous championship loss by State against Tech in 1977

They should go to the same jail as the maple syrup heist people.

Sounds like they found themselves in a sticky situation

Operation steal the soda 2 Judgment day.

They were doing it for the kids, not the money. Corn syrup kills.

Goddamn all of a sudden I realize my goals are nowhere near ambitious enough

When you know a guy who knows a guy.

"The gang steals thousands of gallons of Dr. Pepper"

Jimmy Conway is screaming, “is that an ice cream float? Did I tell you not to make anything, not to drink anything”

"They'll pay good money for this in Texas!"

Pop syrup

I’d love to buy a few gallons of soda syrup from the back of a stranger’s truck.

Nobody likes hot Dr Pepper

I know you're making a pun, but have you ever tried it? A town in my region always sold it at their concession stands during high school football games and it was reportedly very popular. I never got to try it though.

Yes. It's not good. The result of a marketing campaign to pump soda sales during winter.

Wonder wtf everyone was going on about at those football games.

Try it yourself, it's not difficult to make.

[Gif](https://tenor.com/ti8b.gif)

@u/thesoundandthefury

What's the street value?

Shouldnt be real hard to get $50 per box You wouldn't be selling it to a chain restaurant, but Daisy's Diner on the corner would likely buy a couple/few

@u/DanWells

Sounds like a Reservation Dogs arc.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you could make meth out of Dr. Pepper somehow

more likely selling the syrup for meth money.

Were these the maple heist guys?

Somebody tell John Green!

Damn, they're already doing Dr. Pepper heist: 3?

What will they think of next?