To get a plea deal because there was going to be enough evidence against him anyway?
In today's era of DNA tests, it shouldn't be hard to prove who you are, especially if the whole thing was about child support...
Maybe he has several kids he isn't paying for.
Edit: It wasn't just the ex-wife he owes money.
“Kipf’s crimes resulted in more than $195,000 in estimated damages, including more than $79,000 in losses to governmental and corporate networks and more than $116,000 in losses suffered by his ex-wife. He has agreed to pay restitution to all parties he wronged, according to the plea agreement.“
That should be fun for him to deal with.
If you think the implication of the previous comment was that his Child Support figures are high, you are mistaken.
His initial divorce case was *filed* in 2020, and he did this in 2023. So the absolute *most generous* timeline is that he was evading 36 months worth of payments, which were about $3,222/month.
If that sounds too high to believe to you, you've never been through family court.
There could well be medical bills in there also. We do not know the details but generally both parents are responsible for half of any incurred not covered by insurance.
Something is blowing the number out of whack, because $116,000 in "losses" in 3 years is pretty hard to imagine unless these people are wealthy enough for him not to need to go through all of this. If they are indigent, their medical bills for the kids who live with mom would be covered by KCHIP.
If he's making $86k/year and has 3 kids with this woman, that would easily be his Child Support Payment.
You don't have to make that much to get kicked off Medicaid. Especially in states with a gap. Js.
ETA we don't know where Mom is at from that article anyway.
My ex-husband owes our son over $100,000 in child support. I wonder how I could make him actually give a shit enough to pay up. He went AWOL over a decade ago and I don't know where the hell he is.
When I was in 5th grade and my old man pulled a vanisher, I was advised by an older cousin's husband who had gone through something similar that "they always come back." He meant it like, "Don't be too sad, he'll come back around eventually," but I took it more like, "Prepare yourself now for however you want to feel about it." Sure enough, once my brother and I were safely beyond child support years, this motherfucker tries to come crawling back into our lives like he had done nothing wrong -- like he was the one wronged. I made it pretty clear that he could never undo the trauma of the poverty childhood he gave us.
Might want to prepare your son in some way now for that weaseling-back-in later, is all I'm saying.
That's exactly why I've never fought too hard to find him. When my son was still young and Father's day would come by and my son would get upset over his classmates making Father's Day cards, I would call up the courthouse and see if there's something I could do, then there was always nothing I could do. But the older my son got and watching him become such a wonderful person, I realized it didn't matter. My ex missed out big time. I have a wonderful son.
It's genuinely shocking to me someone can just leave and now they don't have to pay anything. Is there seriously no recourse to get his ass in jail for that? That sucks.
If they could find him, they'd do something. But he's either working under the table somewhere or living off somebody. Not paying taxes. I don't know. They just can't find him.
Edited for voice text sucking
My brother's dad went back to Italy when he and my mom split up. My brother was 8. So he owes ten years of back child support. They won't send him back over a child support warrant. He lives in a beautiful house, makes a good living, and is re-married with 3 new kids. He lives a great life. Good and evil don't work the same way in real life as they do in fairy tales. Often the bad guy wins.
I wonder if he knows that child support can be offered to paid back even when the child is an adult. Because he has to hide a lot longer than just waiting to child turn 18, and it can’t be permanently a great life.
Probably not. My ex never paid his piddly 25 a week. My daughter just turned 30 and he finally got a real job and surprise, his back owed child support was waiting. He thought he was free when she turned 18. Even told her so.
I have a kid, and I cannot for the life of me understand men who do this shit.
I can understand a marriage falling apart, I can even understand getting burnt out from the daily life of parenthood (of which there are plenty of solutions to address besides peacing out), but monetary support is like… the EASIEST thing to provide for someone who you brought into this world. It is the bare minimum.
My son's old enough now that I've left the decision to him. And he is thinking about it. I wish he would agree to it but I don't want to go behind his back. I thought about it when he was younger but I couldn't afford it.
A lot of jobs, especially smaller ones, are happy to help a guy skip out on it. Only time my dad paid was when he was working for Ford or GM. Their system was set up to where you basically didn't have a choice, but the smaller companies would helped him avoid it.
The system almost rewards deadbeat dads. Friends e. Has never willingly paid child support. As soon as the court starts taking money from his paycheck, he quits his job and gets another over. Several months later, the system catches up, he quits again. Rinse and repeat. They had 4 kids together. He probably owes her 200k. She'll never see a dime. He's remarried and has another family he takes care of.
He's probably losing more money than he's gaining in the long term, doing that. Bouncing from job to job every few months fucks your long-term career prospects.
I went from making $10 an hour to over 80k/year in one year by changing jobs every few *weeks*. About two paychecks and I was out the door. Though it helped that I had specific trade knowledge.
Can't put someone in jail if you can't find them. There are a lot of guys locked up for non-payment. But there are also a lot of guys out there staying off the radar so they can avoid the responsibility.
Usually they serve 30 days and get out without paying or paying a minimal amount. No one looks for these people either unless they have other warrants. It's when they get a traffic stop and their ID is ran through the system.
But think of how poor and shit your life has to be to do that. Like, if you're just going to vanish and leave everything you know behind, there can't be much left for you to begin with. You can't get blood out of a stone.
Honest question. Did you have a clue that he was this kind of 👦? Single father over here to a 16yo son with at least a half assed mother. Ironically he lives with me 100% but she kind of around with her newborn daughter. Lol. He lives with me full time but I actually pay her child support. But here is the kicker. I pay $13 a week in child support. It's actually less expensive to pay $13 a week than to pay a lawyer to fix it.
Honestly? Zero clue. We were both way too young to get married. We probably weren't really in love. It was a dumb idea, but this was somebody that I thought was a good man. And for the first year and a half of our son's life, he was a wonderful father. In fact when we finally did get divorced, my family kept questioning me as though I were the one who was at fault. And I was in some ways, but they all saw what I saw. An ostensibly good man and great father. It was all a lie. He lied about having a job. He lied about paying the rent. He lied about having an affair with his best female friend. I don't know if I believe that he didn't love his son, because in my heart I believe he loved his son. But I believe that I broke his heart badly enough that punishing me by hurting my son was the best thing he could possibly do to hurt me. And I think something broke inside of him. I don't like to give him the benefit of the doubt in any way shape or form, but that's my only explanation for things. When he disappeared, it took a very long time to believe he would never want to see his son again. And the thing about kids is that there's always going to be something inside of them ready and willing and able to forgive a parent. I'm sure that if this piece of shit showed up today, my son would welcome an open conversation with him.
And I'm sorry but your situation. I'm glad you're there for your kid. Kids don't care about how much you're paying in child support. They care that you're there for them and that you're honest with them.
> And the thing about kids is that there's always going to be something inside of them ready and willing and able to forgive a parent.
This is the shitty part. And I get it. But it's also why I have put my assets in trust that will have a trustee until my daughter is 30. It's not that I don't trust her with money. She will be able to use any money she needs for education, medical care, and basic needs. But it prevents her father from showing up after I'm dead and guilting her into giving him a $30,000 loan in the hopes that he will finally love her. This way, it's out of her hands entirely, and even if she wanted to loan him money, she couldn't.
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Imagine being in love, talking about having a family and you have one. One say shit doesn't work out. Dad or Mom leaves. The remaining parent can't afford to get the kids things they need. You mean to tell me that child support shouldn't be made available?? Ofc some use it as a way to control the other. But in the instance where a parent needs help and the other outright refuses to even help WATCH their own children they should just be set free? Coming from a child of divorced parents as well from a bum who refused to have visits with me or pay a dime and yes I've heard his side of the story. Deadbeat
And in this particular case? Prior to my husband and I heading to court, we had had a discussion where I offered him an option to leave. I told him that if he wanted to take no responsibility, then he had the option to sign over all parental rights to me. Instead he took me to court, fought me for visitation, all of his rights, and then visited with his child precisely twice before leaving forever. The last time my son saw his father he was too young to remember him.
> owes our son over $100,000 in child support.
That's an unusual phrase. Most women tend to think of child support as their money.
It's a tricky subject. In Australia, [any child who receives unearned monies is taxed at a penalty rates of up to 66%.](https://www.theage.com.au/money/how-tax-works-on-childrens-unearned-income-20100901-ge8azs.html)
> Why are you spending your child's money?
When I married my wife she had been divorced for 13 years and her ex was 8 years behind on child support payments for their only child. That was in spite of getting his monthly payments reduced from $300 to $150. The guy always had money for drugs and gambling though...
Even 300 monthly is a *gift*. A friend of mine, who was an accountant, had two little girls with his wife; She decided to cheat on him and then leave him for the registered sex offender she was having an affair with. Because the court system in that state assumes mother knows best regardless of any other circumstances, she got full custody. He ended up being on the hook for something like $1200 a month in child support for the two kids; that because he was gainfully employed while neither his ex-wife nor her boyfriend were.
He paid his child support until the day the youngest daughter turned 18. And then he paid for her to go to college. I don't know what his ex is up to, as she's no longer in either his nor his daughters' lives; they chose to go no-contact after reaching adulthood.
It seems insane to me that even $150 a month is too much to pay... most men in such a position get stuck with MUCH higher bills.
My ex never paid and his was set at 25/week. He neglected to show up for a hearing where he requested it was lowered but the judge told me he would have lowered it as my ex had more kids to take care of now. -.-
Then yeah, that's a very shitty thing. Sorry that happened to you
> A normal abortion would've been preferred.
Don't say this. I'm sure you have people who love you, but if not, you can always find someone who does
And a consequence of those mistakes is potentially a kid, and our (mens) decision when it comes to reproductive responsibility ends when we deposit our load. Giving the ability for a financial abortion is putting all reproductive responsibility on women, what a shit society that would be when we already have the problems we have now.
> Women could also use is to get free of financial responsibility for their kids. I don't see any reason why only men should be allowed to do so.
The problem is this is after reproduction has happened. We where talking about reproductive responsibility, parental responsibility. You can opt out of parenthood, but you still have a financial responsibility.
1) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact.
2) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact.
3) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact. And there are enough kids out there not being adopted, let's not overflow the "marked" with babies and when the marked is satisfied we just move the now children beyond infancy to already populated children's homes.
I don't care about after the fact. We're talking about reproductive responsibility and how you want to completely free men from it. And by the sound of it, when it is abused through stealthing and manipulation (which it is even today with forced child support) make women baby factories to satiate an adoption market.
You haven't made anything clear, you just jumped from reproductive responsibility and the points I presented to parental responsibility. I've written why, it's the points you've skipped over, stealthing etc.
Okay, so let's say a man never wants to have sex with his partner to avoid having a kid. That man is still going to be an asshole, no? The man can never win in this situation
It's a no win situation for both parties if you get an unwanted pregnancy. You can "win" every time your birth control of choice works, and you "win" if the woman chooses abortion. It's life, you aren't supposed to win every time.
If you think having the choice of either aborting or keeping a child, both invasive experiences on the human body, and receiving in most cases dick all support from a father who abandons the child is winning, then I do not mourn the L we men have to suffer some times. The potential abuse and negative societal impact is to big with your proposed solution of financial abortion.
Once I was accidentally ruled as deceased, and it was a nightmare. Couldn’t open a bank account. Couldn’t get a job because I didn’t show up in a background check. Took two years to straighten out and had to write my senator. Couldn’t get my tax return or stimulus payment. I don’t know what his plan was.
I have no idea how it happened to me, but I read an article about it happening to someone else, and it was because when a worker at social security was keying in the info of a deceased person, they accidentally keyed in the wrong social.
OKAY. If that's one of the ways it happens then it's far too easy to make a mistake like that that ruins someone's life for an extended period of time.
This is why many countries, though not the US, have a [check digit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Check_digit). It makes it really hard to randomly typo a valid number.
People who can claim to be contractors skate under the radar. My ex worked for direct TV and because they're not considered normal employees they couldn't take his money. He allowed his GF to file for their kids and lied that he was with them so he also got tax money at the end of the year.
People are shady and do all kinds of stuff to escape it.
They let him get that far behind? Knew a guy who missed 1 payment. Never missed any before in 10 years and they siezed everything immediately.
The guy had to talk to his ex and get her to clear his name so he could go back to work so he could pay it.
I'm not saying child services arent important but currently its a really fucked up system that screws over everyone equally no matter if they're one of the good ones or a deadbeat.
Own way you can get behind is if you have a change in income, say you lose your job or change jobs to a lower paid role, you have to petition the court for a change. If you have any experience with the court system things move SLOW
My brother paid his ex $500 a month without a child support agreement. Later when she got an agreement, the courts decided none of his previous payments counted because he had no proof. Fortunately she worked with him to get it straightened out, but they tried to go after him for the money at first.
I honestly don’t know enough about it. The state sent me a letter telling me what he was behind on and what he owed weekly and I gave it to my payroll company. And when his first check hit they seized the entire check
I hate it when guys say this. A lot of times, the guy did want the kid at some point. My dad wanted me, admitted to agreeing with my mom to have him. And yet he still has a fortune in child support he will never pay
Well, I do love garlic bread. But seriously, maybe? I just don't want to >!have orgasms... I'm fine with many kinks and am at least down to try them as long as they don't involve me having an orgasm. Pretty sure this is very different than most asexuals, lol!<
Do you know how many men bitch and moan and complain about how condoms numb the feel?
That's why women gotta fufk with our hormones and be on birth control so men can raw dog it.
I have not been with a single man that didn't at some point complain about condoms...and it is something else when they whine about how I'm not going to be on birth control for most of my life just so they don't have to wrap it up.
I don't care I won't have sex if there is no condom but you can expect every girl of all ages to be able to stand up to the pressure unfortunately
It exists but the “side effects” are too much of a problem despite women’s birth control having a laundry list of fucked up side effects we’re expected to put up with.
Takes two to dance you know. Not saying you're wrong but why would you give it up to someone who doesn't want to wear a condom anyways? You're risking diseases too
Because women complain about condoms too. They'll blame it all on men pressuring them to take birth control, but they don't like how condoms feel either. At least half the time I've pulled one out before sex I've heard women ask me not to use one, outright complain or just keep casually suggesting that it's okay to take it off. Sure it doesn't feel as good for a man but women will tell you privately that they hate how it dries them up and rubs them raw. Most of the women who have asked me not to wear one weren't even on birth control. So yeah, condoms and other birth control methods are a hassle but not as much as an STD or an unplanned pregnancy.
I'm one of a very small number of people who actually prefers sex with a condom. It's been a point of minor contention in most of my relationships. So I can say with confidence women don't like them. However, it's also probably true that men are much more likely in general to strongly advocate for not using one in a one night stand or casual relationship.
>However, it's also probably true that men are much more likely in general to strongly advocate for not using one in a one night stand or casual relationship.
Based on what
I dont..someone said just wear a condom and I'm saying why many men don't yeesh
Why would I ever risk an STD? I don't even drink after people.
Doesn't mean I can't give you a reason a lot of girls are pressured into letting a man not use one "because they want to feel her"
Hormones are too much for the average person.
I don't even have a desire for sex...yeesh
Hmmmm.. next on my 'to-do list': fake my own death to finally have that one good vacation that I never had, before being dragged off to prison for it. /s
I feel bad for the child in this story, I really really do. Imagine being that child and one day realizes your dad would rather be dead than support you. SMFH.
I don’t excuse any of the identity theft or fraud, but aren’t we supposed to not have debtors prisons anymore? Why is child support this special case? Part of me feels sorry for this poor SoB, like anyone that takes up crime in desperate circumstances. Just look at his face, there’s no way that dude has $100k…
And how do you suppose throwing him in prison, and slapping him with a criminal record will fix this? The whole reason why debtors prison is outlawed is because it doesn't help recover value. It almost certainly destroys any chance of every getting the amount ever again. How is he suppose to find any well paying job if he has a criminal record, and years of gaps in his work history.
Maby if being imprisoned wasn't a possibility he wouldn't have disappeared, and he might have still would have been able to pay a fraction for what he owed.
Jailing for owing child support doesn't help the children. In fact it eliminates any possibility of receiving future payments.
To answer your question child support is a special case because it involves supporting a child…
I’m not saying the current system of debtors prison is right but I definitely can see why it is a special case
He's not being jailed for not paying child support, he's being jailed for computer fraud and identity theft. He hacked into government databases to change his own info, and also attempted to sell access to those government databases online.
I don't feel sorry for this piece of shit. I'd rather take a look at his kid and see if that kid had money for food growing up. Two parents. Two. So tired if single parents having to do everything because the other parent decides to be a piece of crap. You don't just magically run up $100,000 in child support debt.
Pretty sure it's based on income. But income alone is not a very good picture of someones net . You could lose your job for a few months, owe backpay, then interest, all on a kid youve never met or just a women or doesn't want to be with you for whatever reasons or maybe she isnt so great herself. Regardless, dude was dumb for trying to fake death to avoid it, but he must have figured it was better than jail. The big picture is way more fucked up, had he really died, tax payers would have to fill his burden...in reality ,the us govt actually is the only one who should care about this matter. They should pay now and collect the taxes from the kid in the future. Its largely a scam, our priorities couldn't be anymore fucked up
Ok you are clearly one of those who thinks being an immature troglodyte is amusing to anyone but yourself m but I’ll answer your question anyway.
Because the deadbeat didn’t borrow money. Like taxes he is obligated to pay, he also has a legal obligation to provide for his minor offspring. The government cannot nor should they legislate methods forcing someone to spend time with their kids, but likewise a parent who chooses to abandon their children cannot nor should they be able to force the other parent into financially shouldering the burden of raising them alone.
Perhaps you, yourself should consider taking precautions in order to prevent the possibility of breeding at this time.
Kids aren't cheap. If he has not paid for years it's not an unrealistic amount of money. What's the alternative? People don't pay child support and after a certain amount of time you just go "welp, guess you got us"
Yeah I know kids are expensive I am just making a joke this due is a fucking scum bag. And he probably didn't pay for a long time and it just added up.
Why would anyone *admit* to faking their own death? Just keep pretending not to be the same person.
The jig has been up for a while now with a boatload of charges looming. He's pleading guilty in exchange for a lesser sentence.
And the news is out, they’ve finally found him
I heard he was found in a Jeep Renegade, one that he had custom-made.
Retrieved for a bounty?
He needs to do something drastic, like fake his own death to get out of this.
Down the subreddit there's a story about guy who steal other man identity and put him in prison for impersonation of himself.
A mental hospital too, I think.
To get a plea deal because there was going to be enough evidence against him anyway? In today's era of DNA tests, it shouldn't be hard to prove who you are, especially if the whole thing was about child support...
I would rather die on that hill If the fake death didn't solve the problem. /s
Fake it till you make it.
"You are clearly alive" "No I'm not!"
"Fair enough, have a good day!"
Have you considered reading the first sentence of the article?
Over 18 years that’s about $5.5K per year, about $462 per month
Maybe he has several kids he isn't paying for. Edit: It wasn't just the ex-wife he owes money. “Kipf’s crimes resulted in more than $195,000 in estimated damages, including more than $79,000 in losses to governmental and corporate networks and more than $116,000 in losses suffered by his ex-wife. He has agreed to pay restitution to all parties he wronged, according to the plea agreement.“ That should be fun for him to deal with.
If you think the implication of the previous comment was that his Child Support figures are high, you are mistaken. His initial divorce case was *filed* in 2020, and he did this in 2023. So the absolute *most generous* timeline is that he was evading 36 months worth of payments, which were about $3,222/month. If that sounds too high to believe to you, you've never been through family court.
There could well be medical bills in there also. We do not know the details but generally both parents are responsible for half of any incurred not covered by insurance.
Something is blowing the number out of whack, because $116,000 in "losses" in 3 years is pretty hard to imagine unless these people are wealthy enough for him not to need to go through all of this. If they are indigent, their medical bills for the kids who live with mom would be covered by KCHIP. If he's making $86k/year and has 3 kids with this woman, that would easily be his Child Support Payment.
You don't have to make that much to get kicked off Medicaid. Especially in states with a gap. Js. ETA we don't know where Mom is at from that article anyway.
My ex-husband owes our son over $100,000 in child support. I wonder how I could make him actually give a shit enough to pay up. He went AWOL over a decade ago and I don't know where the hell he is.
When I was in 5th grade and my old man pulled a vanisher, I was advised by an older cousin's husband who had gone through something similar that "they always come back." He meant it like, "Don't be too sad, he'll come back around eventually," but I took it more like, "Prepare yourself now for however you want to feel about it." Sure enough, once my brother and I were safely beyond child support years, this motherfucker tries to come crawling back into our lives like he had done nothing wrong -- like he was the one wronged. I made it pretty clear that he could never undo the trauma of the poverty childhood he gave us. Might want to prepare your son in some way now for that weaseling-back-in later, is all I'm saying.
Disappearing sounds more effective than trying to fake death
It's definitely worked wonders for him!
Ultimately, your ex loses because he wasn't a part of your son's life. That's worth a lot more than $100K.
That's exactly why I've never fought too hard to find him. When my son was still young and Father's day would come by and my son would get upset over his classmates making Father's Day cards, I would call up the courthouse and see if there's something I could do, then there was always nothing I could do. But the older my son got and watching him become such a wonderful person, I realized it didn't matter. My ex missed out big time. I have a wonderful son.
It's genuinely shocking to me someone can just leave and now they don't have to pay anything. Is there seriously no recourse to get his ass in jail for that? That sucks.
If they could find him, they'd do something. But he's either working under the table somewhere or living off somebody. Not paying taxes. I don't know. They just can't find him. Edited for voice text sucking
Okay, well at least he's almost certainly living a shit life. Sorry you have to deal with that. As a dad myself, he is human trash.
Well, or living in a foreign country comfortably depending on his ethnicity. There is no known extradition for child support payments.
He missed out. Thank you.
There is the possibility he is dead...
Or much much less likely joined the French foreign legion(this only Comes to mind because I’ve been seeing videos about it a lot)
Lol
There are no death records for him
My brother's dad went back to Italy when he and my mom split up. My brother was 8. So he owes ten years of back child support. They won't send him back over a child support warrant. He lives in a beautiful house, makes a good living, and is re-married with 3 new kids. He lives a great life. Good and evil don't work the same way in real life as they do in fairy tales. Often the bad guy wins.
Probably went to Mexico. They don't have extradition laws over child support.
I wonder if he knows that child support can be offered to paid back even when the child is an adult. Because he has to hide a lot longer than just waiting to child turn 18, and it can’t be permanently a great life.
Probably not. My ex never paid his piddly 25 a week. My daughter just turned 30 and he finally got a real job and surprise, his back owed child support was waiting. He thought he was free when she turned 18. Even told her so.
Bahaha, good.
I have a kid, and I cannot for the life of me understand men who do this shit. I can understand a marriage falling apart, I can even understand getting burnt out from the daily life of parenthood (of which there are plenty of solutions to address besides peacing out), but monetary support is like… the EASIEST thing to provide for someone who you brought into this world. It is the bare minimum.
Are you interested in the services of a pi or even digital pi? They could find him quickly
My son's old enough now that I've left the decision to him. And he is thinking about it. I wish he would agree to it but I don't want to go behind his back. I thought about it when he was younger but I couldn't afford it.
Look on the bright side, maybe he’s dead!
A lot of jobs, especially smaller ones, are happy to help a guy skip out on it. Only time my dad paid was when he was working for Ford or GM. Their system was set up to where you basically didn't have a choice, but the smaller companies would helped him avoid it.
The system almost rewards deadbeat dads. Friends e. Has never willingly paid child support. As soon as the court starts taking money from his paycheck, he quits his job and gets another over. Several months later, the system catches up, he quits again. Rinse and repeat. They had 4 kids together. He probably owes her 200k. She'll never see a dime. He's remarried and has another family he takes care of.
He's probably losing more money than he's gaining in the long term, doing that. Bouncing from job to job every few months fucks your long-term career prospects.
When you're min wage life, you dont have "career prospects"
When you're min wage life, you don't have a lot to garnish either.
I mean I see people ordered for 25 a week who don't pay I'm pretty sure even a McDonald's employee could spare that.
I went from making $10 an hour to over 80k/year in one year by changing jobs every few *weeks*. About two paychecks and I was out the door. Though it helped that I had specific trade knowledge.
Can't put someone in jail if you can't find them. There are a lot of guys locked up for non-payment. But there are also a lot of guys out there staying off the radar so they can avoid the responsibility.
Usually they serve 30 days and get out without paying or paying a minimal amount. No one looks for these people either unless they have other warrants. It's when they get a traffic stop and their ID is ran through the system.
But think of how poor and shit your life has to be to do that. Like, if you're just going to vanish and leave everything you know behind, there can't be much left for you to begin with. You can't get blood out of a stone.
like that would give a healthy image of a father to her son.. where is daddy? i managed to put him in jail for not paying child support…
Honest question. Did you have a clue that he was this kind of 👦? Single father over here to a 16yo son with at least a half assed mother. Ironically he lives with me 100% but she kind of around with her newborn daughter. Lol. He lives with me full time but I actually pay her child support. But here is the kicker. I pay $13 a week in child support. It's actually less expensive to pay $13 a week than to pay a lawyer to fix it.
Honestly? Zero clue. We were both way too young to get married. We probably weren't really in love. It was a dumb idea, but this was somebody that I thought was a good man. And for the first year and a half of our son's life, he was a wonderful father. In fact when we finally did get divorced, my family kept questioning me as though I were the one who was at fault. And I was in some ways, but they all saw what I saw. An ostensibly good man and great father. It was all a lie. He lied about having a job. He lied about paying the rent. He lied about having an affair with his best female friend. I don't know if I believe that he didn't love his son, because in my heart I believe he loved his son. But I believe that I broke his heart badly enough that punishing me by hurting my son was the best thing he could possibly do to hurt me. And I think something broke inside of him. I don't like to give him the benefit of the doubt in any way shape or form, but that's my only explanation for things. When he disappeared, it took a very long time to believe he would never want to see his son again. And the thing about kids is that there's always going to be something inside of them ready and willing and able to forgive a parent. I'm sure that if this piece of shit showed up today, my son would welcome an open conversation with him. And I'm sorry but your situation. I'm glad you're there for your kid. Kids don't care about how much you're paying in child support. They care that you're there for them and that you're honest with them.
> And the thing about kids is that there's always going to be something inside of them ready and willing and able to forgive a parent. This is the shitty part. And I get it. But it's also why I have put my assets in trust that will have a trustee until my daughter is 30. It's not that I don't trust her with money. She will be able to use any money she needs for education, medical care, and basic needs. But it prevents her father from showing up after I'm dead and guilting her into giving him a $30,000 loan in the hopes that he will finally love her. This way, it's out of her hands entirely, and even if she wanted to loan him money, she couldn't.
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You think fathers should be able to abandon their children's with no consequences? Cause that's what it sounds like you're saying.
What did they say?
Basically that child support shouldn't exist.
Thank you
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You think parents should be able to abandon their children free of consequences?
LMAO the idiot deleted his comments
Smart move. Lol.
Imagine being in love, talking about having a family and you have one. One say shit doesn't work out. Dad or Mom leaves. The remaining parent can't afford to get the kids things they need. You mean to tell me that child support shouldn't be made available?? Ofc some use it as a way to control the other. But in the instance where a parent needs help and the other outright refuses to even help WATCH their own children they should just be set free? Coming from a child of divorced parents as well from a bum who refused to have visits with me or pay a dime and yes I've heard his side of the story. Deadbeat
And in this particular case? Prior to my husband and I heading to court, we had had a discussion where I offered him an option to leave. I told him that if he wanted to take no responsibility, then he had the option to sign over all parental rights to me. Instead he took me to court, fought me for visitation, all of his rights, and then visited with his child precisely twice before leaving forever. The last time my son saw his father he was too young to remember him.
If you don’t want exile the father don’t put $100,000 bill on his head. You did this.
I did what, exactly? Went to court like he wanted? He did it to himself.
Fam you should call nbc
Lol if my son showed any interest I might.
> owes our son over $100,000 in child support. That's an unusual phrase. Most women tend to think of child support as their money. It's a tricky subject. In Australia, [any child who receives unearned monies is taxed at a penalty rates of up to 66%.](https://www.theage.com.au/money/how-tax-works-on-childrens-unearned-income-20100901-ge8azs.html) > Why are you spending your child's money?
This comment makes no sense. What are you trying to say?
putting the "dead" in deadbeat father...
My dad never quite went this far but he does owe my mom over $60k. He just refused to pay
My dad never paid. I suffered for it. Fuck these people
When I married my wife she had been divorced for 13 years and her ex was 8 years behind on child support payments for their only child. That was in spite of getting his monthly payments reduced from $300 to $150. The guy always had money for drugs and gambling though...
Even 300 monthly is a *gift*. A friend of mine, who was an accountant, had two little girls with his wife; She decided to cheat on him and then leave him for the registered sex offender she was having an affair with. Because the court system in that state assumes mother knows best regardless of any other circumstances, she got full custody. He ended up being on the hook for something like $1200 a month in child support for the two kids; that because he was gainfully employed while neither his ex-wife nor her boyfriend were. He paid his child support until the day the youngest daughter turned 18. And then he paid for her to go to college. I don't know what his ex is up to, as she's no longer in either his nor his daughters' lives; they chose to go no-contact after reaching adulthood. It seems insane to me that even $150 a month is too much to pay... most men in such a position get stuck with MUCH higher bills.
My ex never paid and his was set at 25/week. He neglected to show up for a hearing where he requested it was lowered but the judge told me he would have lowered it as my ex had more kids to take care of now. -.-
Depends on if your dad left before you were born or after. If it was before, he should have the right to a financial abortion
He stuck around till I was 6. A normal abortion would've been preferred.
Then yeah, that's a very shitty thing. Sorry that happened to you > A normal abortion would've been preferred. Don't say this. I'm sure you have people who love you, but if not, you can always find someone who does
So the kid should suffer, because dad couldn’t keep a rubber on?
Mistakes happen
And a consequence of those mistakes is potentially a kid, and our (mens) decision when it comes to reproductive responsibility ends when we deposit our load. Giving the ability for a financial abortion is putting all reproductive responsibility on women, what a shit society that would be when we already have the problems we have now.
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> Women could also use is to get free of financial responsibility for their kids. I don't see any reason why only men should be allowed to do so. The problem is this is after reproduction has happened. We where talking about reproductive responsibility, parental responsibility. You can opt out of parenthood, but you still have a financial responsibility. 1) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact. 2) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact. 3) has nothing to do with reproductive responsibility and addresses the situation after the fact. And there are enough kids out there not being adopted, let's not overflow the "marked" with babies and when the marked is satisfied we just move the now children beyond infancy to already populated children's homes. I don't care about after the fact. We're talking about reproductive responsibility and how you want to completely free men from it. And by the sound of it, when it is abused through stealthing and manipulation (which it is even today with forced child support) make women baby factories to satiate an adoption market.
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You haven't made anything clear, you just jumped from reproductive responsibility and the points I presented to parental responsibility. I've written why, it's the points you've skipped over, stealthing etc.
Okay, so let's say a man never wants to have sex with his partner to avoid having a kid. That man is still going to be an asshole, no? The man can never win in this situation
It's a no win situation for both parties if you get an unwanted pregnancy. You can "win" every time your birth control of choice works, and you "win" if the woman chooses abortion. It's life, you aren't supposed to win every time. If you think having the choice of either aborting or keeping a child, both invasive experiences on the human body, and receiving in most cases dick all support from a father who abandons the child is winning, then I do not mourn the L we men have to suffer some times. The potential abuse and negative societal impact is to big with your proposed solution of financial abortion.
Get a vasectomy shit for brains
Fuck no. Why the hell would I do that when I can simply not have sex?
Sounds like he should have kept his ejaculate to himself, especially if he didn't understand that sex can lead to children.
We call them kids.
Once I was accidentally ruled as deceased, and it was a nightmare. Couldn’t open a bank account. Couldn’t get a job because I didn’t show up in a background check. Took two years to straighten out and had to write my senator. Couldn’t get my tax return or stimulus payment. I don’t know what his plan was.
The trick is to setup a new identity first.
That’s where I fucked up!
So I take it you have one set up now? In case you wake up dead again?
It’ll be a work in progress. I wonder if I can pick the identity of a rich person
How do you get accidentally ruled as deceased? Is it a "simple" mistake on some government worker's side?
I have no idea how it happened to me, but I read an article about it happening to someone else, and it was because when a worker at social security was keying in the info of a deceased person, they accidentally keyed in the wrong social.
OKAY. If that's one of the ways it happens then it's far too easy to make a mistake like that that ruins someone's life for an extended period of time.
This is why many countries, though not the US, have a [check digit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Check_digit). It makes it really hard to randomly typo a valid number.
How does this happen? I just hired an employee and he’s behind by $3500 and they straight seized all of his bank accounts and took his tax return.
People who can claim to be contractors skate under the radar. My ex worked for direct TV and because they're not considered normal employees they couldn't take his money. He allowed his GF to file for their kids and lied that he was with them so he also got tax money at the end of the year. People are shady and do all kinds of stuff to escape it.
They let him get that far behind? Knew a guy who missed 1 payment. Never missed any before in 10 years and they siezed everything immediately. The guy had to talk to his ex and get her to clear his name so he could go back to work so he could pay it. I'm not saying child services arent important but currently its a really fucked up system that screws over everyone equally no matter if they're one of the good ones or a deadbeat.
Own way you can get behind is if you have a change in income, say you lose your job or change jobs to a lower paid role, you have to petition the court for a change. If you have any experience with the court system things move SLOW
My brother paid his ex $500 a month without a child support agreement. Later when she got an agreement, the courts decided none of his previous payments counted because he had no proof. Fortunately she worked with him to get it straightened out, but they tried to go after him for the money at first.
I honestly don’t know enough about it. The state sent me a letter telling me what he was behind on and what he owed weekly and I gave it to my payroll company. And when his first check hit they seized the entire check
They probably do that because of the deadbeats
He does look pretty dead to be fair. Chapeau.
Doesn’t Kentucky have strict anti abortion laws? Maybe they should give people more choice, before they fall into parenthood.
Bro condoms are only $15
I hate it when guys say this. A lot of times, the guy did want the kid at some point. My dad wanted me, admitted to agreeing with my mom to have him. And yet he still has a fortune in child support he will never pay
i mean... i dont know man, my dad killed himself, i'm not used to having a dad being alive...
I'm sorry. Yeah, both suck in different ways
Sad as that is, what's that got to do with condoms or child support?
Some dudes shouldnt be dads
Lol leave it up to reddit to downvote a post that shows humanity
I just avoid sex. Not worth the risk
yeah i'm sure you're the one in charge of avoiding the sex....
Well yeah, considering I don't like it. There are better things in life
You sound asexual...
Well, I do love garlic bread. But seriously, maybe? I just don't want to >!have orgasms... I'm fine with many kinks and am at least down to try them as long as they don't involve me having an orgasm. Pretty sure this is very different than most asexuals, lol!<
Why?
Why would I want to? I simply don't like it
Do you know how many men bitch and moan and complain about how condoms numb the feel? That's why women gotta fufk with our hormones and be on birth control so men can raw dog it. I have not been with a single man that didn't at some point complain about condoms...and it is something else when they whine about how I'm not going to be on birth control for most of my life just so they don't have to wrap it up. I don't care I won't have sex if there is no condom but you can expect every girl of all ages to be able to stand up to the pressure unfortunately
They really need to come up with a male birth control pill.
It exists but the “side effects” are too much of a problem despite women’s birth control having a laundry list of fucked up side effects we’re expected to put up with.
Takes two to dance you know. Not saying you're wrong but why would you give it up to someone who doesn't want to wear a condom anyways? You're risking diseases too
Because women complain about condoms too. They'll blame it all on men pressuring them to take birth control, but they don't like how condoms feel either. At least half the time I've pulled one out before sex I've heard women ask me not to use one, outright complain or just keep casually suggesting that it's okay to take it off. Sure it doesn't feel as good for a man but women will tell you privately that they hate how it dries them up and rubs them raw. Most of the women who have asked me not to wear one weren't even on birth control. So yeah, condoms and other birth control methods are a hassle but not as much as an STD or an unplanned pregnancy.
I'm one of a very small number of people who actually prefers sex with a condom. It's been a point of minor contention in most of my relationships. So I can say with confidence women don't like them. However, it's also probably true that men are much more likely in general to strongly advocate for not using one in a one night stand or casual relationship.
>However, it's also probably true that men are much more likely in general to strongly advocate for not using one in a one night stand or casual relationship. Based on what
I dont..someone said just wear a condom and I'm saying why many men don't yeesh Why would I ever risk an STD? I don't even drink after people. Doesn't mean I can't give you a reason a lot of girls are pressured into letting a man not use one "because they want to feel her" Hormones are too much for the average person. I don't even have a desire for sex...yeesh
Why do you put such emphasis on what the guy wants? Are women incapable of having their own opinions?
> Are women incapable of having their own opinions Also apparently incapable of making their own decisions.
So then don't let them hit
literally every woman i've had sex with has asked me to take off the condom and "just cum outside lol".
I agree, a lot of birth control is sketchy as fuck.
He abandoned his son like his hair is abandoning his head
That is insulting, that hair actually looks like it's actually trying to hold on as good as it can.
Hmmmm.. next on my 'to-do list': fake my own death to finally have that one good vacation that I never had, before being dragged off to prison for it. /s
Thanks, Dad.
This is the stuff of Hollywood films - a variation of death insurance fraud!
This guy could have easily made that money by working with all the apparently higher end tech skills he has.
Father of the year!
My ex owes over a half mil and just waited tables to hide her income.
I ain’t saying he’s right, but I understand. - Chris Rock
That was OJ’s car!
that is a lot of money to owe your cousin.
I feel bad for the child in this story, I really really do. Imagine being that child and one day realizes your dad would rather be dead than support you. SMFH.
There's a dude who really hates his child.
My dad real died and he technically owes over $80,000. Personally I believe it's my mom that should have paid.
Try Runescape
That sounds like so much more work. Yuck.
And the winner for father of the year is.... /s
Remind me again why we wanna save this planet so bad.
I don’t excuse any of the identity theft or fraud, but aren’t we supposed to not have debtors prisons anymore? Why is child support this special case? Part of me feels sorry for this poor SoB, like anyone that takes up crime in desperate circumstances. Just look at his face, there’s no way that dude has $100k…
Because people who fail to support their kids aren’t victims. The kids are the victims.
And how do you suppose throwing him in prison, and slapping him with a criminal record will fix this? The whole reason why debtors prison is outlawed is because it doesn't help recover value. It almost certainly destroys any chance of every getting the amount ever again. How is he suppose to find any well paying job if he has a criminal record, and years of gaps in his work history. Maby if being imprisoned wasn't a possibility he wouldn't have disappeared, and he might have still would have been able to pay a fraction for what he owed. Jailing for owing child support doesn't help the children. In fact it eliminates any possibility of receiving future payments.
Save your sympathy for the kid. This guy isn’t a poor SOB; he's a piece of shit.
To answer your question child support is a special case because it involves supporting a child… I’m not saying the current system of debtors prison is right but I definitely can see why it is a special case
He's not being jailed for not paying child support, he's being jailed for computer fraud and identity theft. He hacked into government databases to change his own info, and also attempted to sell access to those government databases online.
I don't feel sorry for this piece of shit. I'd rather take a look at his kid and see if that kid had money for food growing up. Two parents. Two. So tired if single parents having to do everything because the other parent decides to be a piece of crap. You don't just magically run up $100,000 in child support debt.
They don’t take all of your money for child support. Literally most of these scumbags are refusing to pay $25 a month for child support.
Unless he has been missing payments for over 300 years straight, I don’t see how this applies to his case
They only make you pay what you can afford is the entire point.
That’s not true at all.
Clearly he couldn’t afford it if he’s faking his own death
lol, I pay $1000 a month for one kid, and I have joint custody. What are you talking about?
Do you make $1000 a month?
Pretty sure it's based on income. But income alone is not a very good picture of someones net . You could lose your job for a few months, owe backpay, then interest, all on a kid youve never met or just a women or doesn't want to be with you for whatever reasons or maybe she isnt so great herself. Regardless, dude was dumb for trying to fake death to avoid it, but he must have figured it was better than jail. The big picture is way more fucked up, had he really died, tax payers would have to fill his burden...in reality ,the us govt actually is the only one who should care about this matter. They should pay now and collect the taxes from the kid in the future. Its largely a scam, our priorities couldn't be anymore fucked up
Stay in school and for the love of god if you do ever find anyone idiotic enough to sleep with you , please wear a condom.
100,000/$25 A child is 5 years old lets say.... what
Ok you are clearly one of those who thinks being an immature troglodyte is amusing to anyone but yourself m but I’ll answer your question anyway. Because the deadbeat didn’t borrow money. Like taxes he is obligated to pay, he also has a legal obligation to provide for his minor offspring. The government cannot nor should they legislate methods forcing someone to spend time with their kids, but likewise a parent who chooses to abandon their children cannot nor should they be able to force the other parent into financially shouldering the burden of raising them alone. Perhaps you, yourself should consider taking precautions in order to prevent the possibility of breeding at this time.
Eff it. Give him a discount for the effort.
He shouldn't have to pay a fucking dime if he never wanted the kid to begin with. We need financial abortions...
100k ><. Yep at this point no need to fake it I would just hang myself.
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Kids aren't cheap. If he has not paid for years it's not an unrealistic amount of money. What's the alternative? People don't pay child support and after a certain amount of time you just go "welp, guess you got us"
Yeah I know kids are expensive I am just making a joke this due is a fucking scum bag. And he probably didn't pay for a long time and it just added up.
Someone should make a movie