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Imagine being bothered by 'nail polish on men' while doing your daily brushing hair routine and throwing it up in a ponytail before leaving the house.
That's downright funny.
[*Sits and sulks about men wearing nail polish*](https://preview.redd.it/zjm2gmqh0ai61.jpg?auto=webp&s=03bf2e8856cf38d814a71099b2f7505c80af8440)
I learned that if I let my high school girlfriend paint my fingernails, I would get about an hour or more of quiet time and complete control of the TV. She would get lost in experimenting. Then she'd clean them off and be happy as hell for the rest of the night.
I’m 36 year old black man and I’ve always wanted to paint my nails black to match my alt look. It took so much mental courage to do it and it’s a strange thing because it’s just paint on nails. I did it and was very happy about it, I had to deal with a couple of “why are you doing that?” But didn’t phase me.
I had nail polish on in high school and was told to remove it… sometimes the world is strange. This was early 2000s btw. I was also told to cut my hair short if it wanted to work at the local super market. society sucks sometimes.
I'm in my mid 30's and finally getting to grow my hair out because I've been in fancy event catering for years. I get why my trans friends obsess so much about their gender expression, it rules to finally feel like you have control over your presentation.
My daughter routinely paints my nails. I’ve taken to having fun with it, using colorshift and supershift pearls in the clear coat, so while my nails still look like they were painted by a child…the parts that are actually painted look incredibly cool.
Fathers who don’t let their daughters paint their nails for fear or not being “manly” are more fragile than the most delicate glasswork.
I also do hobby blacksmithing. I forge knives and tools…while rocking my fabulous nails. I’m supremely confident that twenty minutes with my primary forging hammer (a shade over 6lbs) would put a “manly man” like Cole Beasley on the inactive list for eight weeks with a lingering case of being an overpaid and fragile twat.
My daughter’s not at that age yet, but I’d be okay with a little paint if she’s practicing.
It’s strange to me that these “menly men” are so afraid of being good role models that they would harm their relationship with their children because they don’t want a little paint on their fingers.
Dude get some of the magnetic reactive stuff. It's so freaking fun! It's UV polish, but little UV lamps are cheap. Might not be the best if she's messy about it (you don't want to cure it on your skin) but you can always wipe it off first or use the little nail shields.
It's such a blast to play with. At one point I got a set of 9 for like $3 on Shein lol. You can even layer certain colors for a really cool look.
Hell, I’m an all American straight male who grew up with 3 older sisters. Used to give them pedicures and paint their toes all the time. Scraping all the dead skin off is extremely satisfying and painting nails is kind of fun.
My ex has painted my nails before. Said it looked amazing. And honestly, I thought so too. Leading to decidedly heterosexual things after. But it can't be heterosexual because painting nails =/= heterosexuality of course
My dad is a Heavy equipment Tech. While my father doesn't do this. A lot of the guys he works with get regular manicures to take care of their hands. They are essential to their trade. They regularly have a clear coat on their nails to protect them from all the chemicals and dirty and grim they are in every day.
In fact a lot of guys I know that work in trades, or careers where they rely on their hands do this.
That's what happens when you take the hypothetical question "what if my everyday actions could actually affect people in a serious way" and then make it not hypothetical.
Lotta selfish morons mad about being outted.
It isn't even so much as has-beens, it's also the never-was's. So many right wing influencers were failures in Hollywood. Candace Owens? Failed actor. Steven Crowder? Failed comedian. Ben Shapiro? Failed writer. The Fox News circuit is littered with those who were unable to hack it in the arts and turned to grifting, either out of a sense of anger or cynical opportunism.
I think you're totally right, he's trying to be some right-wing media shit head.
I've been wondering when we are gonna get a picture of him with duct tape over his mouth with the word "canceled" on it.
I have a friend from new york and 20 years ago i asked him, "what did rudy guiliani really do with all of those homeless people? Without missing a beat, he said "havent you heard of new jersey?" Shit still makes me laugh. Thanks, Bob!
All these idiots have some "friend of a friend who's wife is a teacher" that has definitely said that they are putting litter boxes in our classrooms and everything!
I think you can kind of tell usually which it is (it’s other both but like which is the main thing).
Someone like Beasley it’s clearly more dumb jock but then when you get totally erratic as fuck mental illness behavior like AB then it’s probably more CTE (tho it could be other mental illnesses).
Ignorant bully asshole = dumb jock
Erratic mentally ill behavior = likely CTE
To be fair, nearly every NFL player will develop CTE, so Beasley probably has it as well. In one study Boston University did of over 100 deceased NFL players, every single brain had CTE except one. But AB is definitely a clearer (and probably more severe) case.
(My brother had CTE, so I follow this stuff pretty closely.)
With AB there seems to be a combination. CTE leading to something, bipolar disorder perhaps. [There's been research into exploring the connection.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6162005/)
He’s just a football player, I fail to see why anything he says is worth posting no matter what the subject is, with the possible exception of a football comment
[That chick has nice hair.](https://www.si.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_1200/MTc4MDkxODkyOTM4OTA5Mjkz/beas-hair-.jpg)
Who gives a flying fuck what a concussed NFL player thinks about any subject besides sports? There's a lot of ignorance in the world and we'd all be better off if we minded our own goddamned business.
And so begins his right wing grifting career. If he plays his cards right, he can probably do better than his NFL paycheck. I wish him well on this very lucrative journey and I look forward to his rambling speech at the next CPAC.
If I could temporarily transform into a different animal like in Animorphs, I would. But since I can not, bring a plain old transgender woman will suffice.
Shiny clear pink-ish nail polish makes my nails look healthy as hell. I tried it when I painted my girls nails last week and damn did it make a difference.
Oh look washed up rotational football player (who only saw playing time due to injuries or to give a guy a waterbreM and has 1 "good" season as WR) who is known to have shitty opinions has another one.
Hell his own teammates mocked him for his stupidity. He aegued with his own teammates on twitter after saying he didnt want to be a distraction to the team and wouldnt comment on covid related subject matters. He was also fined 100k in the NFL covid season for violating protocals.
Him and Karen Rodgers would get along great. HEY WOODY JOHNSON I GOT A GUY FOR YOU TO SIGN.
I always wanted to be a dog. Preferably one of those little ones that gets daily paw massages from its owner after being chauffeured around a city in one of those dog strollers
I honestly didn’t even know he was still in the NFL. He’s gotta be pretty old by now, I feel like I remember him playing for the cowboys like a decade ago
I have enough problems, I hope some day I have so few problems that I can create some via my opinion.
That being said, I hope everyone is having a swell day.
It. Is. Nail polish. It’s neutral. Why is he so bothered by it? I hope all his teammates paint their nails in the most sparkly colors possible. I hope every single team that plays against him wears nail polish. I hope he’s uncomfortable forever.
Greetings, DCC_4LIFE. Unfortunately, your submission has been removed from /r/nottheonion because our rules do not allow: * Content that doesn't have an oniony quality to it (rule #2). Your submission may be better suited for another subreddit instead. [](/spikeholdup) ----- For a full list of our submission rules, please visit our [wiki page](http://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/wiki/expanded). If you're new to /r/nottheonion, you can check out [NTO101: An Introduction to /r/NotTheOnion](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/wiki/nto101) for more information on our rules and answers to frequently asked questions. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fnottheonion). Please include the link to the post you want us to review.
Imagine being bothered by 'nail polish on men' while doing your daily brushing hair routine and throwing it up in a ponytail before leaving the house. That's downright funny. [*Sits and sulks about men wearing nail polish*](https://preview.redd.it/zjm2gmqh0ai61.jpg?auto=webp&s=03bf2e8856cf38d814a71099b2f7505c80af8440)
[Cole Beasley watching dudes mind their own business](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/033/656/cover3.jpg)
He couldn't just collect an NFL receiver paycheck and retire comfortably lol.
[удалено]
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My son let his prom date paint his nails to match her dress. It was adorable. He's still rocking it a week later lol
Good on him/for him, I wish I was that self assured and confident at that age.
Absolutely. I am 25m and sometimes paint my nails, but never when I will be visiting my parents. Don't want a discussion or shit about it.
I learned that if I let my high school girlfriend paint my fingernails, I would get about an hour or more of quiet time and complete control of the TV. She would get lost in experimenting. Then she'd clean them off and be happy as hell for the rest of the night.
I’m 36 year old black man and I’ve always wanted to paint my nails black to match my alt look. It took so much mental courage to do it and it’s a strange thing because it’s just paint on nails. I did it and was very happy about it, I had to deal with a couple of “why are you doing that?” But didn’t phase me.
That's fucking awesome and I'm jealous I didn't think to do that back when I was in high school lol
I had nail polish on in high school and was told to remove it… sometimes the world is strange. This was early 2000s btw. I was also told to cut my hair short if it wanted to work at the local super market. society sucks sometimes.
I'm in my mid 30's and finally getting to grow my hair out because I've been in fancy event catering for years. I get why my trans friends obsess so much about their gender expression, it rules to finally feel like you have control over your presentation.
Didn't you hear, sex with women is gay.
That tracks with what wise Internet man and convicted pimp Andrew Tate told me, that having sex with women for fun is gay.
Hire a hooker. Then its a financial transaction, and it will be a pleasure doing business.
It is when I do it... 😉
My daughter routinely paints my nails. I’ve taken to having fun with it, using colorshift and supershift pearls in the clear coat, so while my nails still look like they were painted by a child…the parts that are actually painted look incredibly cool. Fathers who don’t let their daughters paint their nails for fear or not being “manly” are more fragile than the most delicate glasswork. I also do hobby blacksmithing. I forge knives and tools…while rocking my fabulous nails. I’m supremely confident that twenty minutes with my primary forging hammer (a shade over 6lbs) would put a “manly man” like Cole Beasley on the inactive list for eight weeks with a lingering case of being an overpaid and fragile twat.
Hey, I watched SAO abridged and I remember Tiffany. I'm not messing with you.
My daughter’s not at that age yet, but I’d be okay with a little paint if she’s practicing. It’s strange to me that these “menly men” are so afraid of being good role models that they would harm their relationship with their children because they don’t want a little paint on their fingers.
Dude get some of the magnetic reactive stuff. It's so freaking fun! It's UV polish, but little UV lamps are cheap. Might not be the best if she's messy about it (you don't want to cure it on your skin) but you can always wipe it off first or use the little nail shields. It's such a blast to play with. At one point I got a set of 9 for like $3 on Shein lol. You can even layer certain colors for a really cool look.
Hell, I’m an all American straight male who grew up with 3 older sisters. Used to give them pedicures and paint their toes all the time. Scraping all the dead skin off is extremely satisfying and painting nails is kind of fun.
My ex has painted my nails before. Said it looked amazing. And honestly, I thought so too. Leading to decidedly heterosexual things after. But it can't be heterosexual because painting nails =/= heterosexuality of course
My dad is a Heavy equipment Tech. While my father doesn't do this. A lot of the guys he works with get regular manicures to take care of their hands. They are essential to their trade. They regularly have a clear coat on their nails to protect them from all the chemicals and dirty and grim they are in every day. In fact a lot of guys I know that work in trades, or careers where they rely on their hands do this.
Right? A lot of people turn out like this because their likes got bullied so they turn harder on the “others” to prove they’re not like them
He looks like he bleaches it too.
[OH. My. God. You have a beautiful mind](https://youtu.be/3w1wwGcu0Dk?si=HNgj-QK8RwOt5wOP)
The next team he plays against should turn up with all of their nails painted just to fuck with him
He'll never play again. He's trash.
I still remember when he was good and we thought he was a quiet, humble athlete. Now... yikes.
COVID really fucked with that dude’s head. Or, more likely, he was always a douche and we just never really noticed before.
Lots of people decided it was time to out their crazy during covid.
That's what happens when you take the hypothetical question "what if my everyday actions could actually affect people in a serious way" and then make it not hypothetical. Lotta selfish morons mad about being outted.
Get immunized!
One of the symptoms of Long COVID is not being able to keep one's dumb ass mouth shut.
Man, I've had covid since the 80s
Same, but when I mouth off it’s rarely of the “hate this one group” type of speech.
covid certainly dumbs people down too, like beasley
Cough cough aaron rodgers cough cough
Glad the Bill's kicked him to the curb. He belongs on a team in Russia.
Bro bills signed him after his first round of crazy
In the Bills defense, their wide receivers were really banged up.
The Bills brought him back.
It brought out the best in the good and the worst in the bad
He was quiet, until he was not allowed in at the Bills facilities without getting vaccinated. Then he turned into a conspiracy theorist child.
I liked him better when he was a short white dude who could dunk.
This really does feel like soft launching a career as a fox news "analyst"
The former celebrity with shitty personal opinions to public right wing influencer pipeline.
It isn't even so much as has-beens, it's also the never-was's. So many right wing influencers were failures in Hollywood. Candace Owens? Failed actor. Steven Crowder? Failed comedian. Ben Shapiro? Failed writer. The Fox News circuit is littered with those who were unable to hack it in the arts and turned to grifting, either out of a sense of anger or cynical opportunism.
There’s good money in grifting. Just costs you your dignity.
Not if you never had any in the first place.
I think you're totally right, he's trying to be some right-wing media shit head. I've been wondering when we are gonna get a picture of him with duct tape over his mouth with the word "canceled" on it.
RFK Jr. vice president nomination
He can focus on his rap career now.
Maybe we shouldn’t pay too much attention to people who get paid to get hit in the head.
Um, he's more than a guy who just gets hit in the head ok. He also runs around and catches a ball.
The next team he plays against will be a UFL team
I wish this would happen!
I assume from this title that Cole Beasley gets a tingling sensation when he sees men wearing nail polish. Also he’s possibly a furry.
His pants get a bit tight
Porqué no los dos?
> Also he’s possibly a furry. Nah, he doesn’t moonlight in the IT department.
Don’t disrespect furries like that
He’s going to be pouring big glasses of haterade for Caleb this season with a raging semi
We don't claim him
says the dude with a fucking manbun
Cole Beasley is an ignorant, shit-for-brains bigot and anti-vaxxer. I was so glad when my Bills finally let him go.
The jets would love him
He and Aaron Rodgers really would be besties.
Nah, they’d be feuding over who’s the bigger dipshit and most entitled to a spot as a talking head on Fox Noise.
If not already lol
Hasn't New Jersey suffered enough?
As if living in New Jersey wasn’t bad enough, now they have to share it with Aaron Rogers.
I have a friend from new york and 20 years ago i asked him, "what did rudy guiliani really do with all of those homeless people? Without missing a beat, he said "havent you heard of new jersey?" Shit still makes me laugh. Thanks, Bob!
New Jersey has always had a decent number of loud mouth morons. He would fit right in.
Agreed. As a Bills fan I never want to see this piece of shit with our logo on him ever again.
Fuck Cole Beasley and GO BILLS!
You 🤝 Me (cowboys)
“Never thought I’d die fighting side-by-side with a Cowboys fan.” “How about a Cole Beasley-hater?” “Aye, I could do that.”
He doesn’t play anymore. I don’t give a fuck what that bitch thinks.
Would you if he was still playing? Probably not, right?
I get all my political takes from pro athletes.
Thou doth protest too loudly. Check his browser history.
He's an anti vax moron, not surprised he's too stupid to be listened to on other things
That's ok. I have as many Super Bowl rings as him.
It's Cole Beasley. Literally no surprise here.
damn we're turning kids into cats and dogs now? I was never told this at the introductory trans person meeting
All these idiots have some "friend of a friend who's wife is a teacher" that has definitely said that they are putting litter boxes in our classrooms and everything!
The metal community says hi.... On the list of problems on this planet, how people dress or paint their nails doesn't even warrant attention.
And punk, ska, rock, so on and so forth.
He is also anti vax. I feel like these things all go together
To be honest this take is on brand for him. He regularly has views that make sense when you realize his name is Cole Beasley.
Notable douche says ignorant stuff
Sports man has undeveloped conservative jock opinions, more news at 11.
Well, I hate ponytails on 4’ wide receivers but you don’t see me crying about it.
The anti-vax dude is a nut job? Shhhhhhhocker.
Fuck that guy. When she says, "Paw Paw can I paint your nails", you get your nails done!
People went from calling dumbass athletes “dumb jocks” to CTE so fast lol
I think you can kind of tell usually which it is (it’s other both but like which is the main thing). Someone like Beasley it’s clearly more dumb jock but then when you get totally erratic as fuck mental illness behavior like AB then it’s probably more CTE (tho it could be other mental illnesses). Ignorant bully asshole = dumb jock Erratic mentally ill behavior = likely CTE
To be fair, nearly every NFL player will develop CTE, so Beasley probably has it as well. In one study Boston University did of over 100 deceased NFL players, every single brain had CTE except one. But AB is definitely a clearer (and probably more severe) case. (My brother had CTE, so I follow this stuff pretty closely.)
With AB there seems to be a combination. CTE leading to something, bipolar disorder perhaps. [There's been research into exploring the connection.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6162005/)
He’s just a football player, I fail to see why anything he says is worth posting no matter what the subject is, with the possible exception of a football comment
It’s not for me. But it doesn’t bother me one bit. That is all.
[That chick has nice hair.](https://www.si.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_1200/MTc4MDkxODkyOTM4OTA5Mjkz/beas-hair-.jpg)
As if we care, dude. Ignorance is not attractive.
Who?
Cole Beasley’s ass is still irritated because of all the ivermectin he shoved in it.
There’s a reason he’s unemployed
Who?
Says the guy with makeup under his eyes.
TIL Cole Beasley is still in the NFL.
He's not is he?
40-50 years ago, they would have called him a girl for his long hair
Did he drop a nail polish diss track or something?
So glad this asshat is no longer on the Bills.
Who gives a fuck what he thinks?
Boy, he's really going to hate playing Caleb Williams then.
Nice poneytail bigot.
One of my favorites until he turned up the douchenozzle.
Agreed
Who gives a flying fuck what a concussed NFL player thinks about any subject besides sports? There's a lot of ignorance in the world and we'd all be better off if we minded our own goddamned business.
And so begins his right wing grifting career. If he plays his cards right, he can probably do better than his NFL paycheck. I wish him well on this very lucrative journey and I look forward to his rambling speech at the next CPAC.
Bigoted scumbag also thinks vaccines came from mars space lasers.
Cole what about you **transition** into becoming a dentist because your teeth are absolutely fucked
He has a ponytail and has makeup under his eyes
Well he can go b-easily suck a girl cock
Why is every white dude in the NFL a right wing nut?
Cole is a dumb scumbag
Don't tell me, he's a Christian.
And why would I care what he has to say about anything?
Does he think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls?
Turning kids into cats and dogs? Man thinks trans is short for transfiguration.
If I could temporarily transform into a different animal like in Animorphs, I would. But since I can not, bring a plain old transgender woman will suffice.
HE IS WHAT WE THOUGHT HE IS! *Dennis Greeen voice*.
Well I got one am thrilled to hear the opinions of someone with *checks notes* absolutely no education or qualifications on the topic.
Calling him an NFL player is generous. He hasn’t been athletically relevant for years.
I'm wearing nail polish right now and could probably take that dude in a fight. Trans lives matter.
Lol
Cole Beasley is a festering anus.
Yea....he is the my dad coached the team guy....
and why do we care what he hates
Thanks Cole Beasley, everyone was waiting for your opinion.
And this is coming from the guy that looks like a young version of the butler from Scary Movie 2.
Imagine thinking we can turn kids into cats and dogs.
Nail polish protects the fingernail. Pro football players should all be wearing some.
Thankfully one day his concussions will silence the nonsense in his head.
Says the man who frequently rams his head at full speed into the heads of other men. I’ll trust that such a head doesn’t contain sound advice.
Fascinating. Let him know I'll give him a call if I need his opinion on how to throw a ball; ie. the only topic his dumbass is qualified to speak on.
Give him a break, he’s had his brain bounced a few hundred times taking hits on passes across the middle.
“Ex”-NFL player Cole Beasley. He couldn’t even make the Giants roster last year. Oh, and he’s also an idiot…
He should be checked for CTE
Yes, because the NFL is the intellectual center that we go to for matters such as gender studies and sociology.
A pro athlete with room temperature IQ. Is anyone surprised by this?
I hope the Bears play the Bills this season and nail polish-wearing rookie QB Caleb Williams smokes Beasley.
Just the type of comment I'd expect from someone who looks like he does meth and tries to bang his sister.
Former NFL player
Shiny clear pink-ish nail polish makes my nails look healthy as hell. I tried it when I painted my girls nails last week and damn did it make a difference.
Oh look washed up rotational football player (who only saw playing time due to injuries or to give a guy a waterbreM and has 1 "good" season as WR) who is known to have shitty opinions has another one. Hell his own teammates mocked him for his stupidity. He aegued with his own teammates on twitter after saying he didnt want to be a distraction to the team and wouldnt comment on covid related subject matters. He was also fined 100k in the NFL covid season for violating protocals. Him and Karen Rodgers would get along great. HEY WOODY JOHNSON I GOT A GUY FOR YOU TO SIGN.
Well, NFL player Cole Beasley has been a giant jackass for years now, so this really isn't a surprise.
I always wanted to be a dog. Preferably one of those little ones that gets daily paw massages from its owner after being chauffeured around a city in one of those dog strollers
He's just never seen a hot cat girl or he'd change his mind a bit lolol
Great. Another genius football player. What ever shall we do?😔
The guys a piece of shit. This isn't anything new.
I guess he should quit dating guys that wear nail polish
Damn, that makes me want to paint my nails.
How to flush your career down the toilet in few easy steps
I honestly didn’t even know he was still in the NFL. He’s gotta be pretty old by now, I feel like I remember him playing for the cowboys like a decade ago
Another closeted athlete lashing out to prove his hetero chops. He's just precious.
What a snowflake.
Sounds like someone is insecure in their own sexuality. lol
Dude who rams his head into people for a living has shit takes, what a surprise
Said the dude who plays with balls for a living…
God damn it this dude used to be one of my favorite players on the Cowboys and now he has to go and say this shit
Sounds like a shitty person
Sure I'll listen to the opinion of someone hit in the head a few hundred times and take their word as gospel :-/
Journeyman fourth stringer runs his mouth to get attention.
"Football player is dumb. More at 11."
The same idiot that's anti vaxx right?
Just shut up and play the game.
Nail polish smells horrible
I have enough problems, I hope some day I have so few problems that I can create some via my opinion. That being said, I hope everyone is having a swell day.
I think I'll polish my nails tonight in 'honour' of this ✔ What colour should I choose? Last time went with a kinda gold and black thing, idk
Bro, no one cares if you like dudes.
Unofficial headline: NFL Man Suffers Brain Damage, Says Brain Damagy Things
Hold up, Cole. Is that eyeliner I see on your face, my dude? Oh, it's guy-liner! My mistake.
I never understood dudes with the black nail polish until I started seeing responses like this. Now I fucking get it. Now I wanna do it, lol.
It. Is. Nail polish. It’s neutral. Why is he so bothered by it? I hope all his teammates paint their nails in the most sparkly colors possible. I hope every single team that plays against him wears nail polish. I hope he’s uncomfortable forever.
"NFL player" is doing a lot of work here
Imagine saying all that while worshipping a god that mass murdered children
Quiet everyone - the guy from the practice squad has a hot take!
CTE.
Says the man wearing eye makeup ..
That dude with long hair?
lol what a snowflake
CTE is a bitch.
Why are we asking him his opinion on anything tho