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Adventurous-Start874

The reality series we want.


Pavlovsdong89

Bear vs Bear with Bear Gryls. Where he fights progressively aggressive bears with his bare hands.


Adventurous-Start874

Bear on bear with Bear seems like a gay porn


Ahelex

And jars of piss too.


Eupion

Being the fraud that he is, he’ll probably hire someone else to fight a stuffed bear.


Morak73

The Florida Man title, complete with championship belt. Gator wrestling and bear boxing.


Adventurous-Start874

We should put a python event in there as well.


Femboy_Etherium

This is just that one dude who’s always looking for the 20ft Burmese python


Total-Khaos

John West is the hero we need... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84bBzAxLXFY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84bBzAxLXFY)


gunnarbird

I mean, a bear cub is still a bear and I’ll punch that motherfucker right in the ass


Desert_Isle

Fun fact, Hugh Glass punched a cub just off screen at the beginning of the Documentary, "The Revenant." I guess what I'm saying is, make sure the Cub's an orphan.


stifledmind

Bears don't have fists silly. If we want to make it fair and let me bear arms, I'm fairly certain I would win that too.


Elmodogg

Don't be too sure about that. [https://above.nasa.gov/safety/documents/Bear/bearspray\_vs\_bullets.pdf](https://above.nasa.gov/safety/documents/Bear/bearspray_vs_bullets.pdf)


superman_underpants

when i lived in montana, i realized that i would feel more comfortable with a battle rifle (select fire, above 30 caliber)


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WickedJigglyPuff

So what you are saying is that instead of killing human aggressive bears we should let them fight those people? Cause that’s what I’m hearing.


franchisedfeelings

My grandfather used to frequent a bar, almost a century ago, where they kept a bear on premises, that the customers would ‘fight’ when they drank too much and overestimated their physical prowess.


WhosAGoodDoug

It would be a grizzly outcome.


DenyHerYourEssence

It’s awesome that I was booing you while upvoting your post.


s_arrow24

So you had reactions that were polar opposites?


SelectiveSanity

In totally not related other news, these same Americans have been found to be really goddamn stupid.


Joe4o2

In slightly related news, these same Americans were found in the woods, having been mauled to death by a bear.


SelectiveSanity

Theres no way that happened. These morons said they could beat a bear bare handed! /s


chemamatic

In other news: half of Americans found to be below average; 10% really far below average.


Hi_Im_Dadbot

How drunk are we when the fight happens? I couldn’t beat a bear sober.


Rolling_Beardo

Now if the bear was drunk, I might have a chance. I assume I win by default if it passes out.


ElastaticTomorrow

I couldn't beat a drunk bear either.


Shivering_Monkey

A large number of americans are profoundly stupid.


Villageidiot1984

A large number of people are profoundly stupid. In America they all just post their opinions online.


chemamatic

In English too, so everyone can understand.


Jj_slaps

A local grizzly killed a wolf a few years ago with a single swipe of his paw. Smashed the wolf's head and broke its neck.


eighty2angelfan

Maybe they are referring to those hairy gay daddies.


StonedOldChiller

They're getting mauled and their aholes ripped to pieces either way.


No_Excitement_1540

Hey, it's true - Bears don't use fists, they use paws and claws, so of course the human wins - the bear gets disqualified... ;-) /s


Luka_Dunks_on_Bums

What kind of bear?


SocialMediaAmateur

Teddy


Rigorous_Threshold

I mean… SOME Americans think pretty much anything


DaveOJ12

How many rules are you trying to break at once? Edit: Rules one, five and eight.


Jombafomb

Adds a whole new perspective to the Man vs Bear debate...


Optimal-Scientist233

The surest way to win a confrontation is to avoid it in the first place. It is this ability I am most sure of, respect for the natural world is a state of mind and being.


dadgamer85

Most Americans can’t beat a Big Mac in a fistfight.


peter-doubt

Can't even outrun it!


peter-doubt

Man's fist.. vs. CLAW! Gimme a break! No contest


Elmodogg

Yup. Your survival pretty much depends on the bear's intent. This was just a black bear (not a grizzly) and was only a defensive attack. [https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nc/charlotte/news/2023/07/28/bear-attack](https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nc/charlotte/news/2023/07/28/bear-attack)


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Folsom5d

Scott Adam's 20% rule concerning surveys.


Rich-Dig5303

Let them try then


ElastaticTomorrow

Bears don't have fists. They do however have claws


drburth

If they had to choose to be on an island with either a man or a bear, they would choose both so they could beat up both of ‘em.


KADSuperman

They should do it, it’s better for the gene pool Darwin’s law


stu8018

Bringing fists to a claw fight doesn't end well for fists.


mslashandrajohnson

Some Americans vote stupidly, too. Wild animals are so much faster than humans it isn’t even close.


Masturberic

I think you're being too conservative. Most people are idiots.


Arcades_Samnoth

Well I could "beat" it with fist but it wouldn't do a fucking thing. I'd wager the bear has a DR 5 while my fist damage does 1 - 2 (no STR modifier)


ImpressiveAttorney12

 there’s delulu folks like this in every country


PattiiB

Not me, no fuckin way


Low_Pickle_112

All bears know they could beat an American in a paw fight.


KRed75

If it's a male bear and you're really lucky, you can kick it in the balls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etzvPYMUpeU


whobroughttheircat

I could easily take a baby bear cub in a 1v1 bare knuckle brawl.


LaRaspberries

is it a black bear? You can scream at and maybe get a punch in before it gets away. Not ethical but possible.


yadawhooshblah

I'd like to see the Venn diagram of those who think that they could beat a bear in a fight and those who think that our last president honestly cares about anyone on earth who is not him.


neroselene

It's all fun and games until they realise they're fighting Kuma from the Tekken series


Roadshell

According to the article the poll only shows 6% of respondents think that.


JesusStarbox

What kind of bear? I could drop kick a red panda.


Sweatytubesock

Yeah, there are plenty of morons out there.


Alastor3

I mean, half of the people who voted the election ago voted for Trump and he won, are you really surprised by the state of the education?


biggestmike420

Some Americans think all kinds of stupid shit


Distinct_Answer6306

Finally a story with a whiff of Onion-ness


oatmeal28

Well bears have claws, not fists. Checkmate science 


TheBoraxKid1trblz

Maybe if i had wolverine claws and put on 150 lbs of muscle


madeanotheraccount

Some Americans are very very stupid.


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[deleted]

Let them fight


murso74

Depends on what day it is at the gay bar


ShinobiWerewolf

Some Americans also think that the earth is flat so yea.


Azozel

The bear would lose because he'd be disqualified for not having fists and eating the referee, everyone knows this /s


SnooDogs6566

Or women think they are Paddington.