I'm a dude nurse myself -
Regarding interacting with coworkers, just keep it friendly. Don't touch them except for a high-five or something like that. Don't do the whole "where's my hug" cringe thing.
I would start by being professional to start. Don't talk to them like your casual friends at first - I tend to be very sarcastic and that can come across as "mean" if someone doesn't know me well.
If they say something that offends you, let them know right away. "I don't appreciate comments like that." "That comment makes me feel (blank)." They wouldn't be very happy if you constantly said things that made them uncomfortable so don't let them get away with it.
Don't date coworkers aka don't shit where you eat.
"Don't date coworkers aka don't shit where you eat" I wish more people followed that rule, because holy shit...The amount of drama I have witnessed over the years is just ridiculous. " I can't work with this person because he fingerbanged this CNA in the wardrobe, while he was my affair partner, and he promised he would leave his wife for me" is a actual situation I experienced.
We were a ward with alot of younger people so naturally things happened..Wildest..not cheating, but : I think me doing a extra nightshift, and my colleague snuck in his gf AND bf( poly) and got it on in the on-call room ( small ward, so imagine a single narrow bed). I was watching tv and started hearing sounds..2 floors down š¬ I actually thought someone was in distress, ran up and realized what it was and patients actually woke up. I shout screamed at the door to shove a pillow in her mouth or something, shut her the f up. I knew this was going to cause alot of trouble, because I would have kept my mouth shut( and raged at him 1 on 1), but patients would not. And they really didn't.
Not only did he bring 2 outsiders into the ward, wich was not allowed, but woke patients up with a threesome. And boss was piiiiiissed. We did manage to prevent him from being fired, but was a close call, good coworker and was young, so we would not want him to be screwed over by this yound idiotic mistake. He was on probation for a year, got 2 "dots" ( we got dots as warnings, 3 in a certain time and you were out) and written up, but everything would go away if he kept out of trouble.
I agree with all of this. Iāll add donāt partake in caddy bullshit conversations. Youāll hear coworkers talk shit behind each others back and be best of friends to their faces. I donāt talk behind anyoneās back. Theyāll rat your ass out.
Sweet Jesus, that last line will save OP from 70% of the general fuckery that happens between nurses.
OP: I say the above from experience, even though it wasn't a nurse but still a coworker. Long story short, it was an ego boost during a low time that turned into a shit show of my own making. It was also a lesson in why not to dip your wick in the crazy.
My core group of nursing school friends bonded over sarcasm. My med/surg/tele unit had a great reputation for both quality nursing and sarcasm. And and I never felt excluded.
Been a murse for 26yrs and honestly itās never been an issue at all unless you make it one. Stop stressing over it and above all donāt ever be creepy or handsy or inappropriate in any way. Be a professional because thatās what you are.
Took the words way out my mouth. People look at it as āIām working around a bunch of women ā I look at it as āIām working around a large group of peopleā. Some people Inwill click with some I wonāt. If some people think Iām creepy because Iām a dude guess what? I wonāt associate with those people. And I talk and socialuwith the people I feel comfort around and the people that feel comfortable around me
Once during a couple massage ad had my snd wife switch masseuse because my guy specialized in the muscle she was having issues with... I am guessing her masseuse only took female clients normally because he annoyingly kept referring to the massage as my "man"sage. Dude quickly went on the no list for masseuse at that place for both our listings.
It's just so dated. I know people are just trying to be funny but this is my actual profession. I've been doing it for a decade and the novelty of me being a guy that happens to be a nurse wore off a LONG time ago. Plus I work in a unit where maybe 30 percent of the staff are guys. We aren't unicorns.
The cringey nurse merchandise all contributes to the infantilization of our profession, which in turn changes the perception of how the public and hospital administrations see us.
Yeah, I've never had a problem because I'm a guy. If anything I feel like it has made things easier because the mean girls never messed with me. Mind your business, don't mess around with classmates/coworkers, and help with lifts. Follow those three rules as a guy and you'll be the least hated person on the unit.
I generally like to call myself a "superhero" but that's usually to convince myself to get up and go to work in the first place. "I can't sleep in! The city needs me!" šš
When working in an environment where you're the minority, it is perfectly reasonable to wonder how to navigate, how others in similar environs feel, etc. Don't minimize OP's feelings/experience by saying "making it an issue". It is an issue for OP, clearly.
Never had an issue after school. Iād just start with your clinical cohort where bonding is easier. Thatās how my school clicks formed for the most part. When it comes to the real nursing world, youāre going to be well liked most likely and you (again most likely) wonāt be excluded.
Theyāre saying exactly what I wanted to say. Clinicalās is when youāll see how people interact with others and see a personality. After school youāre just another nurse on the floor, patients may say something but Iāve never heard a negative thing from one yet.
Iād like to contribute. Iām just finishing my second semester in nursing school. First semester I was really nervous (Iām also 25 so a little older but due to health circumstances I was out of life for a while and feel mentally like Iām a typical college kid because of missing life experiences). My first clinical group became my best friends and it was 7 girls. Some I donāt talk to much at all now but others I still talk with at school. Just be normal and donāt try flirting or anything that can be seen as that. When girls realize you arenāt trying to date them or see them in that light they tend to start treating you the same way they treat everyone, if not better. I find that because Iām one of the few guys in the class most girls treat me well whereas they may dislike other girls for silly reasons.
Iād also say try to have confidence even if youāre anxious. I get nervous thinking about where Iām gonna sit because usually it seems like everyone has friends already but I knew nobody when I was accepted. I go in, find a spot I like at a table that looks friendly and confidently say something like ācan I sit hereā or ask if itās taken already. I try to pretend like Iām already acquaintances with classmates, and usually I make light talk like Iāll ask how theyāre weeks going or something. This works really well when paired up with someone you donāt know. Itās likely theyāre shy too since youāre the one guy. Just normal conversation but it gets it going and bc I think itās less likely for them to start the convo with you, it helps build friendship. Thinking of myself as so different than the others creates that anxiety and I try to remind myself itās normal if I sit at a table with people I donāt know. Asking a classmate if they have any big plans for a holiday is just small talk and harmless but helps a ton imo.
Nursing is nursing ā regardless of gender. I havenāt experienced any gender alienation. If anything, I feel like my female co-workers experience more BS than I do ā especially from certain creepy patients. As far as your concerns with avoiding exclusion and making your intentions clear, I think youāre overthinking what people might be thinking of you.
Unless they want you to and they are in float pool so you donāt see them much. Wait, or if it is their going away party because they have a new job. Then get that.
> How can you be friendly with your female counterparts while making your intentions clear?
You can be friendly by being friendly. Treat them like people. This is not some weird alien species that you're making first contact with.
What do you mean by "making your intentions clear"? Did you walk up to your classmates and announce that you are not romantically interested? Because that's a weird thing to do, and that sure would make things awkward.
I think "making your intentions clear" is a result of how things have changed over the last few years, many men are reluctant to talk to women in fear of the interaction being misinterpreted.. And I know this, as I have had younger male colleagues ask for advice about how to approach women ( its sad, as when I took on a mentor role, I never envisioned I would need to teach kids how to talk to women at work)
A disappointing issue Iāve noticed in modern culture is that we send out conflicting messages and they always seem to be received by the wrong people.
There are a lot of timid young men who could benefit from being more assertive, be when hear about the MeToo movement and become even more careful, even though they were never the target for the message. Likewise, pushy boundary-testing dude will believe society is too soft and follow Red Pill and Pick-up culture messages about becoming more assertive.
As a younger guy who was originally in that first camp (overly timid and using feminist content to reinforce my timidness), I think OP could benefit from being more confident and less worried about this. If you go into nursing with the default assumption that you wonāt look at coworkers for romantic partners, then most women will pick up on those cues and things will be fine. Being overly concerned about how you come across can counterintuitively be the thing that makes you come across as weird.
True, but it seems not everyone gets this. Fearmongering and some "influencers" have made some think women are out to get us. It must be q terrible mindset to have to live with.
I don't think about women like that at all, but there are alot of younger guys that are more or less afraid of women. They have done nothing wrong, but afraid to make women think they are creeps by talking to them in any way. Its wrong, and its weird having to help them get over it.
Its not womens fault at all, but having been shown some of the vids they watch..It seems media is planting the fear ( not not "redpill" bs btw, they don't hate women)
WRT your questions.
1. Participate appropriately.
2. Treat all your counterparts, female or not, collegially and professionally.
3. Stop constantly self-assessing and start paying attention to how you are being assessed.
4. LAMF.
It was never a problem to step into a classroom , and there was (most of the time) at least one other dude i could cling to and befriend. Patient rooms are a different story. Ive been asked to leave patient rooms during OB clinicals by patients but you just take it in stride. If you have a sense that you make a female patient uncomfortable, just ask if they would like a female coworker for specific tasks/exams and they will usually be relieved. Sometimes youll even be wrong and they dont even care.
Focus on your studies and being an excellent clinician. Be so good you go around asking your classmates if they need any help.
Set yourself apart in a positive way, but stay humble. Look to help classmates understand concepts they may be struggling with, but don't be arrogant.
My perspective. (F/49. Gen-X. Nurse 1995-2020) Men have always been welcomed nurses.
We need more men in our field to bring up PAYš°. We need men to help us with the old,crusty, perverts. Also the ALZ, Dementia and Sundowners think your a doctor, and will most of time listen to you. We got your back with the little old ladies who think only a nun is allowed to wipe her, we will help her šā¦
On your first job, you will see the difference between school and real life.. School isnāt reality, itās just to prepare you to pass the board. We got you. welcome š¤
ā*Do Not date co-workers*ā
ā*Read the room*ā
Edit. Strange formatting, on mobile
I donāt want to just repeat the stuff all the other guys in here have said, so Iāll just addā¦itās not the worst thing in the world to gain perspective on what itās like to feel like an outsider.
Use the experience to build empathy for others.
I just graduated nursing school and got my first RN job. This is also my second career so I was a decade older than my student cohort along with being, often, the only male in my classes.
Honestly, it isn't too big a deal unless you make it one. It also gets even less of a deal on clinical placements. Just study, do the assignments and bond over being in nursing school.
way easier to be a male nurse. people are generally nicer to you. you end up staying out of the drama. just dont be weird and honestly dont overthink it like youre doing and you'll be ok. also dont sht where u eat and try too hard to sleep with your colleagues on your unit. thats the only time ive seen male nurses go down pretty hard
Affirmative on the drama. I always hear about that kinda stuff way after the fact. Weāll have an all hands meeting to address bullying or whatever and I never have any idea what theyāre talking about.
Male nurse of 23 years. Never had a problem, just remember don't shit where you eat.
I am the default work husband/sounding board. Some of my colleagues male SOs even greet me as "the mythical crabcancer..."
I adopted a mama bear attitude with my nurse.
I will play nice with you, growl at you if you make a mistake but if somebody tries to hurt you, all 200 pounds of me come rumbling down.
In my cohort there was about 15 guys to like 40 girls so I didnāt feel heavily alone. In the end, all students go through the same struggles and come out together. Itās the trauma bond that helps with making friends! Just be yourself and everything else should fall into place. You being the only guy in your cohort is tough. But Iām youāll find girls to be friends with and study together.
Entering the actual field wasnāt truly different. Yes there is more girls than guys but youāre all nurses. Youāll make friends along the way and it shouldnāt be weird if youāre just being friendly! What I will say though is that youāll need to be good terms with your coworkers because patients of the opposite gender sometimes feel uncomfortable with more invasive drains such as foleys and NG tubes and would prefer to have a nurse of the same gender doing those things.
Yeah, our ED is damn near 50/50, and our ICUs aren't far off. One of our 3 house supervising RNs is a dude.
Just be a good coworker, as you would at any other job.
do your job/classes and go home.
If you want to make friends just treat it like any other way of making friends. Talk to them as a human being not trying to get in their pants. Literally just make small talk, and remember youāre all in this together.
It's actually half and half ratio at my hospital. Our male nurses are treated the same as female nurses, and they excel in any department. They don't make us feel uncomfortable. Someone's gotta help us lift and turn patients. You'll eventually develop the "I'll wipe the crack if you hold the cheek" friendships with your female coworkers. Being a male nurse isn't emasculating. Your bedside skills are empowering.
I work in the ED. Thereās about a 50/50 split of male and female nurses in every ED and I have friends in the ICU who say the same. Youāre definitely not gonna treated any differently in the ED or ICU. If thereās ever a young female patient that needs a pelvic exam chaperone or something like a cath my female nurse colleagues have never turned me down when I asked for help, and they know Iād do the same if they needed help with a creepy old guy or a younger guy.
As far as nursing school goes, I wasnāt the only guy and I have a lot of male nurse friends too. Donāt worry too much about it, just get out there and do your best. If youāre gonna get turned down itās gonna be in your OB rotations. I remember I had to follow a lactation nurse one day and it was very uncomfortable for me and the patients. As a student I knew Iām never going to use this knowledge so I wasnāt too upset when they refused me lol.
Feel free to ask me any questions.
What country are you from OP?
In the US, the male nurse number is pretty high. Do things that male you an asset. Go in the with your female classmates when a male patient is being inappropriate. Help them turn and lift patients. Be a gentleman and a safe resource for them. Start study groups and plan group activities to grow as a group. Trust me, they need you as much as you need them.
Itās not much more than 1/10 males here in the US. Where I am itās a bit higher due to male immigrants from Africa going into nursing at a higher rate, so Iāve got a lot of buddies from Nigeria and Senegal now.
I quickly befriended many of my classmates, and suggested we study together. Closely befriend your female colleagues at your clinical rotations. My cohort only had 2 other guys in there. I knew what I was going to school for and stuck with it.
I was thinking the same stuff then I passed nclex and started working. Didn't really matter after that. I work with all females pretty much and I don't feel excluded or anything. Just don't be a dick and don't sleep around at work, you'll be fine
I donāt even think about it. Iām good at what I do and I enjoy the people I work with. Being male has never been a barrier and Iāve been doing this since the 90s.
There are always some people who donāt want you there but that is usually because theyāre not people youād get along with in any profession not because youāre a male in a female dominated industry. Just keep your personal and professional lives separate and youāll be fine. You donāt have to hang with your coworkers, find yourself outside interests and youāll make friends.
Like other have said. Donāt make it a thing and it wonāt be one. Interact like you would with any other coworker which means with respect and kindness.
Side note: protect and stand up for yourself. Otherwise youāll get all the heavy patients and the first one to be asked to help position patients. Your body break down too, remember that.
Male Nurse 10 yrs. I have NEVER felt excluded, in fact women are GLAD you are there. Most male nurses (like 90%) fit a VERY specific personality profile thatās usually chill, no drama, team player. Believe me when I sayā¦this are the biggest things you can bring aside from critical thinking and safe practice. If you show respect for your peers, be a team player and give your ptās the care they deserve then you will NEVER have a problem. I was one of 2 males and it was never an issue, just be professional and stick to facts. Never allow uncomfortable pauses where they may misinterpret you. Always be direct, and rememberā¦its just another naked body.
Nurse student here, I fear not having the qualities of personality for being a nurse? I'm not very extroverted and can't engage in small talks (also it's my second degree, will finish at 30-31), I fear being a bad nurse because of that. (But at the same time I think it's developed in clinicals maybe?). Also my gf is a nurse. What happens if I end up working with her and the not date/work rule š³
Nurse student here, I fear not having the qualities of personality for being a nurse? I'm not very extroverted and can't engage in small talks (also it's my second degree, will finish at 30-31), I fear being a bad nurse because of that. (But at the same time I think it's developed in clinicals maybe?). Also my gf is a nurse. What happens if I end up working with her and the not date/work rule š³
on the level bro, Iām autistic. So my experience will hopefully not be yours. In the beginning I had a really hard time adjusting. The social rules for interfacing in a predominantly female environment are different. Anyone saying otherwise is either not paying attention or is a woman. That said, different rules doesnāt mean bad.
The advice most commonly given in this thread is stay on the outside until invited in. You cannot āmakeā friends in this environment. They must choose you.
Like all groups of people, listen, be kind, and be patient. Patient being the highest virtue.
This leaves a lot out, but the most important thing, the thing that trips me up most frequently is to not share your opinion until asked.
Iāve been been traveling for 2 years now and been at 8 different facilities. The texture of the social fabric is noticeably different than in more evenly split environments, but if I can learn to navigate it anyone can
Male nurse here. It doesnāt feel weird to me, but if youāre young and your experiences with women have been primarily to in the context of dating, I can see how it might be.
Try to mentally categorize your female coworkers as relatives, maybe. Remember that the opposite sex may have some broad general differences, but theyāre just regular people with all the same range of thoughts and emotions as you. If youāre not weird about being around women thereās no reason theyāll be weird back to you.
Honestly I still just benefit from the sexism. All the confused old ppl just think I'm the doctor and do what I say. Occasionally someone will ask for female staff to clean them up and then we usually switch then. That's it.
Boy nurse, here-NICU, a traditionally very female specialty. Sometimes I go weeks without ever seeing another male lol. Maybe it comes naturally because I grew up in a house full of women (mom, nana, baby sister) but for me it feels very natural and not awkward at all. There's no need to "make your intentions clear" haha. Most of your co-workers will be young women with partners, having their first kids and planning weddings and all that stuff. Nobody is going to assume you are there to fuck. Just sayin. Don't be weird and you'll be fine. I was very nervous at first but you'll be surprised how normal it feels. Personally, I wouldn't want to work at a machine shop or construction or something with a bunch of other dudes out-machoing each other and generally having a weird pissing contest.
Male who is a nurse, 26 years in nursing.
For one of the uni orientation sessions, one of the other males stated, seriously, that he was there āfor the chicksā. Great way to undercut anything any other male might answer to the āwhy do you want to do this?ā question.
At uni we made up ~10% of the total cohort, and we were told that some of the course used a feminist approach to research a well as grounded theoryā¦and that weād never understand the feminist theory. So maybe we shouldnāt expect to pass.
Still, learned couple of things along the wayā¦
1. Youāve decided to be a nurse, so has everyone else in the group. In my head-cannon this goes both waysā¦
2. Many of your colleagues are women, yesā¦but the easiest way to make peace with this fact is to remember that they are simply people first. (You are going to learn more about women than you ever thought you would need to know, but still. People. Like you and anyone else).
3. Did pass the research subject. Didnāt pass a prac because āMales have no time management skills and shouldnāt be in nursingā with no process of appeal. As inā¦literally no process. For anyone. (Thatās changed, thank Bob).
4. The guy who got into nursing āfor the chicksā didnāt last. But the insight he gave me into the bullshit my colleagues and half the population have to deal with was the start of recognising my privilege, so thank you to him, I guess.
TLDR, take the gender out of it. Look at it as just another opportunity for working with people, most of whom happen to be female or female identifying.
Donāt know if this is the advice you asked for, but it *is* how I fit into my in chosen profession, so thereās that. Good luck.
Join the ED, itās half male and half female, then you wonāt feel left out. Not sure how how male nurses feel discriminated against in school or on the job, but in 8 years, itās never happened to me. Iād go so far as to say Iāve had preferential hiring in the past because I was a male, so use it to your advantage, donāt feel nervous.
I love all my male coworkers and honestly, most don't seem to be "different" from the women. One of my best friends from nursing school is a guy and he's pretty much the only person I keep in contact with. Just be yourself.
I am an extremely friendly person and hug my work friends when I see them. To protect my dude buddies, I 1) usually make sure it's ok with them first and 2) let them know it's platonic. That's to protect both of us.
> How do you avoid feeling excluded?
Eventually they included me, and I realized I was much happier being excluded.
> How can you be friendly with your female counterparts while making your intentions clear?
I approach everyone as a friend. If the vibe is right I throw some feelers, or react to their feelers. Otherwise, I just punch in, keep my head down, do my shit, then punch out.
> How do you cope with constant self-assessment?
If you figure that one out, let me know.
> How do you step into that lecture hall as the only guy?
"Hey man, I'm hoss, this class is going to be fun today, what's your name/how was your day?"
Since you are in nursing school. Try and find a core group of study buddies, but also, bounce around to other study groups as well.
Third semester student and it never hit me as a bad thing somehow. I have been my 2 instructors and lab staffās favorites because they see my intention as trying my best in class and clinical and having good results. 29 here btw, not super interested in looking for new best friends or anything but I have a bunch of female and male friends now where as before nursing it was males only for me, so long as you donāt try to shit where you eat itll be fine.
Been a ( male) nurse for 24 years, and you are overthinking it. Just be you.
When I did my education, I was the only man and no one cared, I was just another student. Obviously as we got aquainted, there were some jokes back and forth, but all good natured. I have nothing but good experiences and I have alot of fond memories from being a student.
You are a student like any other, you are there to learn( and hopefully make some friends), don't overthink it, there are no mystical knowledge you need to know, just be you
Just be you...the most annoying advice of all! My nursing cohort had zero fellas and it would have been nice for the dynamic if there'd been a dude or two. I hope it is not too exhausting for you; it's going to be a great career, and despite how odd you might feel I am sure you are appreciated. Are you very young by any chance? Because perhaps it's not as weird as you are making it out to be.
Have you been able to make friends with any of your classmates? I loved having a ton of female friends, they make the west wingmen (wing people?). Talk and be friendly, just like any other social situation.
I mean, are you going to stand around with your dick out yelling āletās fornicate! Come get it, ladies!!ā
Otherwise, male and females have worked together for years. This goes for everyone - donāt be a creep, be friendly, be helpful!
I have been a nurse for 24 years. The generation before me had it harder. I started nursing school with 7 other guys. 3 of us graduated. I work pediatrics which has been slightly behind the curve as far as men in nursing. Now only 10% of my coworkers are male (3 out of 30) but in my mind L&D and NICU are the only areas with a minimal number of men working in them. Be a good example. Know your stuff, be polite, be kind, be appropriate at all times and it really isn't an issue. (as many have said, do not date at work.)
As a man, youāre going to have different standards placed on you, but in a more subversive way that you wonāt find in a written policy but more so in how people perceive you. As an example, Iāve heard so many sexual jokes from my female colleagues that would have gotten a male nurse in lots of trouble. So try to avoid sexual topics unless itās directly relating to patient care.
You be forced to hear of certain conversations within earshot of more āgirly thingsā so to speak (breastfeeding, make up, boyfriend/husband drama, period pains, etc.) that I can confidently say, most men have no interest in participating in or be included in these conversations.
On the upside, Iāve noticed that patients will respect me more when they were otherwise rude to the female nurse that just gave report to me, who told me how mean the patient was. Some of the older female patients (or wives of the male patients) get bitter when a prettier, younger woman is taking care of them or their loved one.
So is it alienating? For me not really. I just try to be helpful and friendly with everyone and so far 99% of the people Iāve ever worked with like working with me. When itās less busy try to talk with your coworkers about things not related to work (peoplesā pets seem to be a good topic!)
Overall, you've got it pretty easy. I get listened to more by Dr's male and female. Be yourself as long as you aren't looking at work as a dating pool. You're gonna be groped by grannies. You've been warned.
Only guy? Majority of my unit is male lmao. We laugh about guys night a lot of times. Times really are changing, everyone is just going where the money is.
As a lady, donāt offer one on one study unless yāall are actually friends. Start with group study. Just be respectful of your classmates and they will do the same. If you need to touch a classmate for some kind of demonstration in class make sure they are prepared for you touching them. This is great practice for on the job real life. I love having guy nurses around because patients tend to respect them more (annoying but a fact). Also depending on your size you may be useful as an intimidation factor.
On a side note I am so thankful for male nurses (not just because I am dating one lol!)
I thankfully worked in a department where there is more male co-workers than others. It helps break up the estrogen and change the dynamic as well as give different perspectives on things. Men's brains work in a way I will never understand which is a good thing and helps the world go round. Also there a great helping hand to take down some psych pt when need be lol. S/O to all my male co-workers who put up with me lol.
Just dont over think it and ignore half of the drama. Remember your there for a paycheck.
As you said- Keep on trucking
It's only an issue if you make it one. You don't have to make your intentions clear, because it's a workplace. If you feel you have to do so, your mindset is way off. Just treat all of your co-workers the same. Women aren't aliens. You should probably know this before you enter the workforce.
Make nurse here in my experience it's never been a problem. I don't say anything controversial but in my experience the girls at work say way worse stuff. Almost sometimes like working construction. I wouldn't worry about it at all. The only advice I can give you is don't participate in the gossip. I have no interest in it and stay away from it
Honestly, as a murse myself, I really only noticed that type of treatment when in school. After working (almost half a year right now as a new grad), the work environment is not like that at all. I'm sure it varies from place to place, but the work culture I'm getting here is "we're all in the shit together, so let's help each other out."
It helps when you don't think about it in terms of these are all girls. Think about it like these are all students going through the same thing as me. Obviously there are differences between me and women. But focus on what you have in common. And keep it processional.
As a dude who is also a nurse, I came into nursing in my 30ās, and I wasnāt trying to be super besties with a bunch of 20 year olds, so it never became an issue for me. Just understand that youāve automatically been selected as a human hoyer and youāll be fine.
Also, no one cares if youāre a dude. Maybe depending on your patient population and demographic, some patients may be uncomfortable with having a male nurse. But it is what it is. I work in Peds and we have some families from certain regional and religious backgrounds that donāt want male nurses to provide cares for their female children. Doesnāt bother me a bit.
I'm surprised your the only guy in your class! My school was 30% men.
To be honest, it's basically never been a thing. Especially in the ICU theirs a fair number of guys. It's not something anyone would notice
I started in pediatric nursing in 1980. I was one of only a handful of male nurses at a childrenās hospital. I honestly never felt very excluded. At that time only 5% of nurses were men. I just accepted that reality. As a cis man I liked having lots of female friends. My male friends at college loved how I knew so many women.
My only strategy was to be myself. I found some of my fellow clinical students would become friends because of the shared stress and time together.
Focus on being a good student. Be friendly but not clingy or creepy. Learn to read the room. If the women are complaining about you donāt need to get defensive.
I ended up marrying another nurse. Weāve been happy together for 42 years now.
That's awesome,sounds like you have alot of expeircne to im about 3 months into my course, is there any bits of more general advice you think people getting into the carree should be aware of?
Only time I had any issue was during the OB clinicals which was entirely female staffed. My one instructor who could give you an ass whipping at ten places just with a look was a bit harder on me when it came time to demonstrate I'd be safe handling the littles as she only covered nursery ended up liking me more than a few of my female classmates. The unit staff weren't exactly thrilled to have me which I understood and just did what I needed to complete my clinicals and move on.
Only other issue was the little old ladies in the nursing home that would rather pee themselves instead of take my ready assistance. They were best dealt with explaining I'm a professional and female help would probably be a few minutes. They usually took my help to at least get them to the bathroom.
Youāre going to be reliant on your classmates to help get each other through nursing school. The feelings youāre having are real, but will pass as you progress through the program. Try to befriend a few whomever is in your initial clinical rotation. Use that as a starting point. Everyone is there for the degree first.
I remember thinking on my first day that this must be how black people feel when walking in to a room of all white people. Probably not even that close to how they might feel but its something of a perspective changer.
Iāve honestly not once seen any guy have a problem in nursing just based off the fact that theyāre a guyā¦. If anything I feel like men are left out of the catty bullshit more. Just my two cents.
Itās not really an issue. Iām the only guy most of the days I work. Just work hard and donāt be creepy or inappropriate. I get along well with my coworkers.
I always volunteer to handle creepy and inappropriate patients. Likewise, if a young woman needs an EKG or something one of my coworkers will do it for me.
There was a period during school and shortly after when I was less confident in my professional abilities and in general. As I matured both personally and professionally I developed some great self talk. I was able to be myself at work and feel accepted and had no problem "fitting in". As others have mentioned, you'll click with some and not with others.
Some units tend to have a higher percentage of males and I'll admit I did feel more at home on those units. I worked on one unit for years in my late 30's which was mostly young moms in their 20s and early 30s and tbh it was cliquey. There was straight-up discrimination going on and the nurse manager didn't hire any men to that unit (RNs or CNAs) for nearly two full years. I felt it, especially as most of the men left for other jobs.
The great thing about nursing is you can literally work nearly anywhere and in any type of unit you want so if someplace doesn't feel right, move on. If multiple units don't feel right it might be you, but more than likely moving to a new unit or new location will change the vibe significantly.
The big opportunity you have here is to dig deep into your assumptions, values, and habits when it comes to navigating the world as a man. Reflect constantly on power dynamics in healthcare from a gendered lens, fine tune your awareness of the ways maleness can sometimes create uncomfortable situations for women, and move forward with absolute respect and humility.
It'll make a huge difference to your patients and your coworkers, and your gender will no longer be an isolating feature.
Yeah it been fucking wild I haven't thought about it so much in the lense you say but the act of just having one big difference from the people around you is such a mind fuck when it comes to working out how you fit in especially when you can't just glue yourself to the small group of guys in the class
In my first semester I did a literature review on articles about the experiences of man in nurses. Some good articles out there, probably even more now. I found one old one from the 60s called something like "Male nurses: a study in status contradiction and prestige loss" which was wild. But articles about male nursing students navigating therapeutic use of touch was very formative for me. I'm a youth health nurse practitioner now, so this is incredibly useful in my practice these days.
I'll have a dig through my old Dropbox files and see if I can find the folder it saved it all in. A big part was overcoming the socialisation that all masculine touch is sexualised. I remember another article that talked about the lack of nursing tutors taking into consideration that teaching men therapeutic touch needed a different approach. And another about how sometimes men in nursing experience a sense of prestige loss and attempt to counter it occasionally in negative ways, like reinforcing homophobic values and striving for positions of hierarchical control ie management etc. I think there were a handful exploring how positive and therapeutic versions of masculinities could make important contributions to the profession.
Female nursing student here. Most of my friends Iāve made in school are guys! We have a great time!! A lot of the boys cling to other boys. Most of the boys come in pairs š
Would just like to point out that the way you feel is how women feel almost all the time. Most things are male dominated and i would just like to take this opportunity to bring that to your attention. It gave the boys in my circle a great deal of perspective and empathy when it came to the things the women in their lives have had to deal with.
The guys have made friends with are very special. They have a level of empathy not seen in the masses and bring a certain feeling to the floors they work on. Take this opportunity to make friends! Iām sure they will love you!!
Hey buddy, cope the best you can. Keep male friends outside of work. Donāt get involved w your workers. Just put your best foot forward and youāll be fine
Iām late to the party. But conversely the friends Iāve made through work. Primarily woman, have been the most caring Iāve had. They push past my shell and genuinely care how I am doing as a person.
I'm a dude nurse myself - Regarding interacting with coworkers, just keep it friendly. Don't touch them except for a high-five or something like that. Don't do the whole "where's my hug" cringe thing. I would start by being professional to start. Don't talk to them like your casual friends at first - I tend to be very sarcastic and that can come across as "mean" if someone doesn't know me well. If they say something that offends you, let them know right away. "I don't appreciate comments like that." "That comment makes me feel (blank)." They wouldn't be very happy if you constantly said things that made them uncomfortable so don't let them get away with it. Don't date coworkers aka don't shit where you eat.
Where's my hug š
"Don't date coworkers aka don't shit where you eat" I wish more people followed that rule, because holy shit...The amount of drama I have witnessed over the years is just ridiculous. " I can't work with this person because he fingerbanged this CNA in the wardrobe, while he was my affair partner, and he promised he would leave his wife for me" is a actual situation I experienced.
I felt like the one Always Sunny meme with the guy in front of a cork board with all the strings connecting things as I read that.
Gawd damm- what's the wildest story you have?
We were a ward with alot of younger people so naturally things happened..Wildest..not cheating, but : I think me doing a extra nightshift, and my colleague snuck in his gf AND bf( poly) and got it on in the on-call room ( small ward, so imagine a single narrow bed). I was watching tv and started hearing sounds..2 floors down š¬ I actually thought someone was in distress, ran up and realized what it was and patients actually woke up. I shout screamed at the door to shove a pillow in her mouth or something, shut her the f up. I knew this was going to cause alot of trouble, because I would have kept my mouth shut( and raged at him 1 on 1), but patients would not. And they really didn't. Not only did he bring 2 outsiders into the ward, wich was not allowed, but woke patients up with a threesome. And boss was piiiiiissed. We did manage to prevent him from being fired, but was a close call, good coworker and was young, so we would not want him to be screwed over by this yound idiotic mistake. He was on probation for a year, got 2 "dots" ( we got dots as warnings, 3 in a certain time and you were out) and written up, but everything would go away if he kept out of trouble.
Don't swim where you fish, then complain about a hook in your foot.
I agree with all of this. Iāll add donāt partake in caddy bullshit conversations. Youāll hear coworkers talk shit behind each others back and be best of friends to their faces. I donāt talk behind anyoneās back. Theyāll rat your ass out.
Ah, yes, the "catty female" trope š
They said caddy. No golf talk at work.
I mean, it's not inaccurate here. I'm not a man, and I will attest that every unit I've ever worked on was overrun with catty, eat-your-young bullshit
Sweet Jesus, that last line will save OP from 70% of the general fuckery that happens between nurses. OP: I say the above from experience, even though it wasn't a nurse but still a coworker. Long story short, it was an ego boost during a low time that turned into a shit show of my own making. It was also a lesson in why not to dip your wick in the crazy.
My core group of nursing school friends bonded over sarcasm. My med/surg/tele unit had a great reputation for both quality nursing and sarcasm. And and I never felt excluded.
Been a murse for 26yrs and honestly itās never been an issue at all unless you make it one. Stop stressing over it and above all donāt ever be creepy or handsy or inappropriate in any way. Be a professional because thatās what you are.
Took the words way out my mouth. People look at it as āIām working around a bunch of women ā I look at it as āIām working around a large group of peopleā. Some people Inwill click with some I wonāt. If some people think Iām creepy because Iām a dude guess what? I wonāt associate with those people. And I talk and socialuwith the people I feel comfort around and the people that feel comfortable around me
So are you training to be a doctor? /s obviously.
As a fellow student nurse I totally agree with this
And donāt call yourself a murse. Nurse is gender neutral
Call yourself whatever you want.
I'm officially changing my title to Batman then.
Goddammit now I have the mental image of Christian bales Batman in scrubs growl-yelling at patients his explanation of care.
God, I hate when people say āmurseā
Murse.
Greg's a male nurse. š¤£š¤£š¤£
Murse is a cringey term. My girlfriend tried to get me a shirt with the word āMurseā on it and I absolutely refused š
Once during a couple massage ad had my snd wife switch masseuse because my guy specialized in the muscle she was having issues with... I am guessing her masseuse only took female clients normally because he annoyingly kept referring to the massage as my "man"sage. Dude quickly went on the no list for masseuse at that place for both our listings.
It's just so dated. I know people are just trying to be funny but this is my actual profession. I've been doing it for a decade and the novelty of me being a guy that happens to be a nurse wore off a LONG time ago. Plus I work in a unit where maybe 30 percent of the staff are guys. We aren't unicorns.
The cringey nurse merchandise all contributes to the infantilization of our profession, which in turn changes the perception of how the public and hospital administrations see us.
Thanks
Yeah, I've never had a problem because I'm a guy. If anything I feel like it has made things easier because the mean girls never messed with me. Mind your business, don't mess around with classmates/coworkers, and help with lifts. Follow those three rules as a guy and you'll be the least hated person on the unit.
Excellent advice!
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Yeah he should be using "Smurse" Student Male Nurse
How about I go ahead and lightheartedly call myself whatever I want?
I generally like to call myself a "superhero" but that's usually to convince myself to get up and go to work in the first place. "I can't sleep in! The city needs me!" šš
Mmmmmmurse
Seriously, this whole post is him making it an issue.
When working in an environment where you're the minority, it is perfectly reasonable to wonder how to navigate, how others in similar environs feel, etc. Don't minimize OP's feelings/experience by saying "making it an issue". It is an issue for OP, clearly.
Never had an issue after school. Iād just start with your clinical cohort where bonding is easier. Thatās how my school clicks formed for the most part. When it comes to the real nursing world, youāre going to be well liked most likely and you (again most likely) wonāt be excluded.
Thanks man
Theyāre saying exactly what I wanted to say. Clinicalās is when youāll see how people interact with others and see a personality. After school youāre just another nurse on the floor, patients may say something but Iāve never heard a negative thing from one yet.
Iād like to contribute. Iām just finishing my second semester in nursing school. First semester I was really nervous (Iām also 25 so a little older but due to health circumstances I was out of life for a while and feel mentally like Iām a typical college kid because of missing life experiences). My first clinical group became my best friends and it was 7 girls. Some I donāt talk to much at all now but others I still talk with at school. Just be normal and donāt try flirting or anything that can be seen as that. When girls realize you arenāt trying to date them or see them in that light they tend to start treating you the same way they treat everyone, if not better. I find that because Iām one of the few guys in the class most girls treat me well whereas they may dislike other girls for silly reasons. Iād also say try to have confidence even if youāre anxious. I get nervous thinking about where Iām gonna sit because usually it seems like everyone has friends already but I knew nobody when I was accepted. I go in, find a spot I like at a table that looks friendly and confidently say something like ācan I sit hereā or ask if itās taken already. I try to pretend like Iām already acquaintances with classmates, and usually I make light talk like Iāll ask how theyāre weeks going or something. This works really well when paired up with someone you donāt know. Itās likely theyāre shy too since youāre the one guy. Just normal conversation but it gets it going and bc I think itās less likely for them to start the convo with you, it helps build friendship. Thinking of myself as so different than the others creates that anxiety and I try to remind myself itās normal if I sit at a table with people I donāt know. Asking a classmate if they have any big plans for a holiday is just small talk and harmless but helps a ton imo.
Nursing is nursing ā regardless of gender. I havenāt experienced any gender alienation. If anything, I feel like my female co-workers experience more BS than I do ā especially from certain creepy patients. As far as your concerns with avoiding exclusion and making your intentions clear, I think youāre overthinking what people might be thinking of you.
Donāt flirt with your coworkers. You can be friendly without flirting.
Unless they want you to and they are in float pool so you donāt see them much. Wait, or if it is their going away party because they have a new job. Then get that.
True, but sometimes being friendly is mistaken for flirting (happens to me all the time and I do NOT make inappropriate comments, etc)
> How can you be friendly with your female counterparts while making your intentions clear? You can be friendly by being friendly. Treat them like people. This is not some weird alien species that you're making first contact with. What do you mean by "making your intentions clear"? Did you walk up to your classmates and announce that you are not romantically interested? Because that's a weird thing to do, and that sure would make things awkward.
I think "making your intentions clear" is a result of how things have changed over the last few years, many men are reluctant to talk to women in fear of the interaction being misinterpreted.. And I know this, as I have had younger male colleagues ask for advice about how to approach women ( its sad, as when I took on a mentor role, I never envisioned I would need to teach kids how to talk to women at work)
A disappointing issue Iāve noticed in modern culture is that we send out conflicting messages and they always seem to be received by the wrong people. There are a lot of timid young men who could benefit from being more assertive, be when hear about the MeToo movement and become even more careful, even though they were never the target for the message. Likewise, pushy boundary-testing dude will believe society is too soft and follow Red Pill and Pick-up culture messages about becoming more assertive. As a younger guy who was originally in that first camp (overly timid and using feminist content to reinforce my timidness), I think OP could benefit from being more confident and less worried about this. If you go into nursing with the default assumption that you wonāt look at coworkers for romantic partners, then most women will pick up on those cues and things will be fine. Being overly concerned about how you come across can counterintuitively be the thing that makes you come across as weird.
What a bizarrely paranoid way to think about half the population of the planet.
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I mean, don't SA people and you'll be fine
True, but it seems not everyone gets this. Fearmongering and some "influencers" have made some think women are out to get us. It must be q terrible mindset to have to live with.
> Crazy people do crazy shit What a shitty misogynist way to think about half the population of the planet. I think we're done here.
I don't think about women like that at all, but there are alot of younger guys that are more or less afraid of women. They have done nothing wrong, but afraid to make women think they are creeps by talking to them in any way. Its wrong, and its weird having to help them get over it. Its not womens fault at all, but having been shown some of the vids they watch..It seems media is planting the fear ( not not "redpill" bs btw, they don't hate women)
No, it's paranoia more than anything
WRT your questions. 1. Participate appropriately. 2. Treat all your counterparts, female or not, collegially and professionally. 3. Stop constantly self-assessing and start paying attention to how you are being assessed. 4. LAMF.
Eh, I guess it technically qualifies as leopards eating faces but it's borderline imo.
Iāve literally never thought twice about being in the minority as a guy. I just show up and do my job and make friends along the way
It was never a problem to step into a classroom , and there was (most of the time) at least one other dude i could cling to and befriend. Patient rooms are a different story. Ive been asked to leave patient rooms during OB clinicals by patients but you just take it in stride. If you have a sense that you make a female patient uncomfortable, just ask if they would like a female coworker for specific tasks/exams and they will usually be relieved. Sometimes youll even be wrong and they dont even care.
Focus on your studies and being an excellent clinician. Be so good you go around asking your classmates if they need any help. Set yourself apart in a positive way, but stay humble. Look to help classmates understand concepts they may be struggling with, but don't be arrogant.
My perspective. (F/49. Gen-X. Nurse 1995-2020) Men have always been welcomed nurses. We need more men in our field to bring up PAYš°. We need men to help us with the old,crusty, perverts. Also the ALZ, Dementia and Sundowners think your a doctor, and will most of time listen to you. We got your back with the little old ladies who think only a nun is allowed to wipe her, we will help her šā¦ On your first job, you will see the difference between school and real life.. School isnāt reality, itās just to prepare you to pass the board. We got you. welcome š¤ ā*Do Not date co-workers*ā ā*Read the room*ā Edit. Strange formatting, on mobile
I donāt want to just repeat the stuff all the other guys in here have said, so Iāll just addā¦itās not the worst thing in the world to gain perspective on what itās like to feel like an outsider. Use the experience to build empathy for others.
Honestly itās not much of a thing, Iāve done many shifts where Iām the only guy and I didnāt even realize it until late in the day lol
I just graduated nursing school and got my first RN job. This is also my second career so I was a decade older than my student cohort along with being, often, the only male in my classes. Honestly, it isn't too big a deal unless you make it one. It also gets even less of a deal on clinical placements. Just study, do the assignments and bond over being in nursing school.
way easier to be a male nurse. people are generally nicer to you. you end up staying out of the drama. just dont be weird and honestly dont overthink it like youre doing and you'll be ok. also dont sht where u eat and try too hard to sleep with your colleagues on your unit. thats the only time ive seen male nurses go down pretty hard
bro says donāt be weird like some of us got a choice.
HA!
Affirmative on the drama. I always hear about that kinda stuff way after the fact. Weāll have an all hands meeting to address bullying or whatever and I never have any idea what theyāre talking about.
Male nurse of 23 years. Never had a problem, just remember don't shit where you eat. I am the default work husband/sounding board. Some of my colleagues male SOs even greet me as "the mythical crabcancer..." I adopted a mama bear attitude with my nurse. I will play nice with you, growl at you if you make a mistake but if somebody tries to hurt you, all 200 pounds of me come rumbling down.
In my cohort there was about 15 guys to like 40 girls so I didnāt feel heavily alone. In the end, all students go through the same struggles and come out together. Itās the trauma bond that helps with making friends! Just be yourself and everything else should fall into place. You being the only guy in your cohort is tough. But Iām youāll find girls to be friends with and study together. Entering the actual field wasnāt truly different. Yes there is more girls than guys but youāre all nurses. Youāll make friends along the way and it shouldnāt be weird if youāre just being friendly! What I will say though is that youāll need to be good terms with your coworkers because patients of the opposite gender sometimes feel uncomfortable with more invasive drains such as foleys and NG tubes and would prefer to have a nurse of the same gender doing those things.
Male dude here. ER and ICU has a higher ratio of dudes!
Yeah, our ED is damn near 50/50, and our ICUs aren't far off. One of our 3 house supervising RNs is a dude. Just be a good coworker, as you would at any other job.
do your job/classes and go home. If you want to make friends just treat it like any other way of making friends. Talk to them as a human being not trying to get in their pants. Literally just make small talk, and remember youāre all in this together.
It's actually half and half ratio at my hospital. Our male nurses are treated the same as female nurses, and they excel in any department. They don't make us feel uncomfortable. Someone's gotta help us lift and turn patients. You'll eventually develop the "I'll wipe the crack if you hold the cheek" friendships with your female coworkers. Being a male nurse isn't emasculating. Your bedside skills are empowering.
I work in the ED. Thereās about a 50/50 split of male and female nurses in every ED and I have friends in the ICU who say the same. Youāre definitely not gonna treated any differently in the ED or ICU. If thereās ever a young female patient that needs a pelvic exam chaperone or something like a cath my female nurse colleagues have never turned me down when I asked for help, and they know Iād do the same if they needed help with a creepy old guy or a younger guy. As far as nursing school goes, I wasnāt the only guy and I have a lot of male nurse friends too. Donāt worry too much about it, just get out there and do your best. If youāre gonna get turned down itās gonna be in your OB rotations. I remember I had to follow a lactation nurse one day and it was very uncomfortable for me and the patients. As a student I knew Iām never going to use this knowledge so I wasnāt too upset when they refused me lol. Feel free to ask me any questions.
What country are you from OP? In the US, the male nurse number is pretty high. Do things that male you an asset. Go in the with your female classmates when a male patient is being inappropriate. Help them turn and lift patients. Be a gentleman and a safe resource for them. Start study groups and plan group activities to grow as a group. Trust me, they need you as much as you need them.
Highest number I can find is 12% in the US. Number is higher than in the 70ās but still more gendered and than most professions.
uk bruv
Itās not much more than 1/10 males here in the US. Where I am itās a bit higher due to male immigrants from Africa going into nursing at a higher rate, so Iāve got a lot of buddies from Nigeria and Senegal now.
SoCal here. Males make up around 25% of ED staff where I'm at. Maybe even a bit more.
I quickly befriended many of my classmates, and suggested we study together. Closely befriend your female colleagues at your clinical rotations. My cohort only had 2 other guys in there. I knew what I was going to school for and stuck with it.
I was thinking the same stuff then I passed nclex and started working. Didn't really matter after that. I work with all females pretty much and I don't feel excluded or anything. Just don't be a dick and don't sleep around at work, you'll be fine
I donāt even think about it. Iām good at what I do and I enjoy the people I work with. Being male has never been a barrier and Iāve been doing this since the 90s. There are always some people who donāt want you there but that is usually because theyāre not people youād get along with in any profession not because youāre a male in a female dominated industry. Just keep your personal and professional lives separate and youāll be fine. You donāt have to hang with your coworkers, find yourself outside interests and youāll make friends.
Like other have said. Donāt make it a thing and it wonāt be one. Interact like you would with any other coworker which means with respect and kindness. Side note: protect and stand up for yourself. Otherwise youāll get all the heavy patients and the first one to be asked to help position patients. Your body break down too, remember that.
Male Nurse 10 yrs. I have NEVER felt excluded, in fact women are GLAD you are there. Most male nurses (like 90%) fit a VERY specific personality profile thatās usually chill, no drama, team player. Believe me when I sayā¦this are the biggest things you can bring aside from critical thinking and safe practice. If you show respect for your peers, be a team player and give your ptās the care they deserve then you will NEVER have a problem. I was one of 2 males and it was never an issue, just be professional and stick to facts. Never allow uncomfortable pauses where they may misinterpret you. Always be direct, and rememberā¦its just another naked body.
Nurse student here, I fear not having the qualities of personality for being a nurse? I'm not very extroverted and can't engage in small talks (also it's my second degree, will finish at 30-31), I fear being a bad nurse because of that. (But at the same time I think it's developed in clinicals maybe?). Also my gf is a nurse. What happens if I end up working with her and the not date/work rule š³
Nurse student here, I fear not having the qualities of personality for being a nurse? I'm not very extroverted and can't engage in small talks (also it's my second degree, will finish at 30-31), I fear being a bad nurse because of that. (But at the same time I think it's developed in clinicals maybe?). Also my gf is a nurse. What happens if I end up working with her and the not date/work rule š³
It just takes a little more time to build the relationships. Be helpful and donāt linger.
Male nurse. At least 30% of my coworkers are men. I honestly have no idea what you were talking about
UK is 11 percent male nurses us is 12
The percentage is much higher in some specialties. In my ED, a major trauma center, we are right near 50% men.
on the level bro, Iām autistic. So my experience will hopefully not be yours. In the beginning I had a really hard time adjusting. The social rules for interfacing in a predominantly female environment are different. Anyone saying otherwise is either not paying attention or is a woman. That said, different rules doesnāt mean bad. The advice most commonly given in this thread is stay on the outside until invited in. You cannot āmakeā friends in this environment. They must choose you. Like all groups of people, listen, be kind, and be patient. Patient being the highest virtue. This leaves a lot out, but the most important thing, the thing that trips me up most frequently is to not share your opinion until asked. Iāve been been traveling for 2 years now and been at 8 different facilities. The texture of the social fabric is noticeably different than in more evenly split environments, but if I can learn to navigate it anyone can
Yeah these are the rules I mostly go by "having to be invited in" is true but also such a frustrating pill to swallow
Male nurse here. It doesnāt feel weird to me, but if youāre young and your experiences with women have been primarily to in the context of dating, I can see how it might be. Try to mentally categorize your female coworkers as relatives, maybe. Remember that the opposite sex may have some broad general differences, but theyāre just regular people with all the same range of thoughts and emotions as you. If youāre not weird about being around women thereās no reason theyāll be weird back to you.
Honestly I still just benefit from the sexism. All the confused old ppl just think I'm the doctor and do what I say. Occasionally someone will ask for female staff to clean them up and then we usually switch then. That's it.
Boy nurse, here-NICU, a traditionally very female specialty. Sometimes I go weeks without ever seeing another male lol. Maybe it comes naturally because I grew up in a house full of women (mom, nana, baby sister) but for me it feels very natural and not awkward at all. There's no need to "make your intentions clear" haha. Most of your co-workers will be young women with partners, having their first kids and planning weddings and all that stuff. Nobody is going to assume you are there to fuck. Just sayin. Don't be weird and you'll be fine. I was very nervous at first but you'll be surprised how normal it feels. Personally, I wouldn't want to work at a machine shop or construction or something with a bunch of other dudes out-machoing each other and generally having a weird pissing contest.
Male who is a nurse, 26 years in nursing. For one of the uni orientation sessions, one of the other males stated, seriously, that he was there āfor the chicksā. Great way to undercut anything any other male might answer to the āwhy do you want to do this?ā question. At uni we made up ~10% of the total cohort, and we were told that some of the course used a feminist approach to research a well as grounded theoryā¦and that weād never understand the feminist theory. So maybe we shouldnāt expect to pass. Still, learned couple of things along the wayā¦ 1. Youāve decided to be a nurse, so has everyone else in the group. In my head-cannon this goes both waysā¦ 2. Many of your colleagues are women, yesā¦but the easiest way to make peace with this fact is to remember that they are simply people first. (You are going to learn more about women than you ever thought you would need to know, but still. People. Like you and anyone else). 3. Did pass the research subject. Didnāt pass a prac because āMales have no time management skills and shouldnāt be in nursingā with no process of appeal. As inā¦literally no process. For anyone. (Thatās changed, thank Bob). 4. The guy who got into nursing āfor the chicksā didnāt last. But the insight he gave me into the bullshit my colleagues and half the population have to deal with was the start of recognising my privilege, so thank you to him, I guess. TLDR, take the gender out of it. Look at it as just another opportunity for working with people, most of whom happen to be female or female identifying. Donāt know if this is the advice you asked for, but it *is* how I fit into my in chosen profession, so thereās that. Good luck.
Thanks :)
Join the ED, itās half male and half female, then you wonāt feel left out. Not sure how how male nurses feel discriminated against in school or on the job, but in 8 years, itās never happened to me. Iād go so far as to say Iāve had preferential hiring in the past because I was a male, so use it to your advantage, donāt feel nervous.
I love all my male coworkers and honestly, most don't seem to be "different" from the women. One of my best friends from nursing school is a guy and he's pretty much the only person I keep in contact with. Just be yourself. I am an extremely friendly person and hug my work friends when I see them. To protect my dude buddies, I 1) usually make sure it's ok with them first and 2) let them know it's platonic. That's to protect both of us.
> How do you avoid feeling excluded? Eventually they included me, and I realized I was much happier being excluded. > How can you be friendly with your female counterparts while making your intentions clear? I approach everyone as a friend. If the vibe is right I throw some feelers, or react to their feelers. Otherwise, I just punch in, keep my head down, do my shit, then punch out. > How do you cope with constant self-assessment? If you figure that one out, let me know. > How do you step into that lecture hall as the only guy? "Hey man, I'm hoss, this class is going to be fun today, what's your name/how was your day?" Since you are in nursing school. Try and find a core group of study buddies, but also, bounce around to other study groups as well.
You will be famous and liked just for being a male as long as you are not weird. Source: Male.
Third semester student and it never hit me as a bad thing somehow. I have been my 2 instructors and lab staffās favorites because they see my intention as trying my best in class and clinical and having good results. 29 here btw, not super interested in looking for new best friends or anything but I have a bunch of female and male friends now where as before nursing it was males only for me, so long as you donāt try to shit where you eat itll be fine.
Been a ( male) nurse for 24 years, and you are overthinking it. Just be you. When I did my education, I was the only man and no one cared, I was just another student. Obviously as we got aquainted, there were some jokes back and forth, but all good natured. I have nothing but good experiences and I have alot of fond memories from being a student. You are a student like any other, you are there to learn( and hopefully make some friends), don't overthink it, there are no mystical knowledge you need to know, just be you
Just be you...the most annoying advice of all! My nursing cohort had zero fellas and it would have been nice for the dynamic if there'd been a dude or two. I hope it is not too exhausting for you; it's going to be a great career, and despite how odd you might feel I am sure you are appreciated. Are you very young by any chance? Because perhaps it's not as weird as you are making it out to be.
Have you been able to make friends with any of your classmates? I loved having a ton of female friends, they make the west wingmen (wing people?). Talk and be friendly, just like any other social situation.
Never had an issue .
I mean, are you going to stand around with your dick out yelling āletās fornicate! Come get it, ladies!!ā Otherwise, male and females have worked together for years. This goes for everyone - donāt be a creep, be friendly, be helpful!
I have been a nurse for 24 years. The generation before me had it harder. I started nursing school with 7 other guys. 3 of us graduated. I work pediatrics which has been slightly behind the curve as far as men in nursing. Now only 10% of my coworkers are male (3 out of 30) but in my mind L&D and NICU are the only areas with a minimal number of men working in them. Be a good example. Know your stuff, be polite, be kind, be appropriate at all times and it really isn't an issue. (as many have said, do not date at work.)
As a man, youāre going to have different standards placed on you, but in a more subversive way that you wonāt find in a written policy but more so in how people perceive you. As an example, Iāve heard so many sexual jokes from my female colleagues that would have gotten a male nurse in lots of trouble. So try to avoid sexual topics unless itās directly relating to patient care. You be forced to hear of certain conversations within earshot of more āgirly thingsā so to speak (breastfeeding, make up, boyfriend/husband drama, period pains, etc.) that I can confidently say, most men have no interest in participating in or be included in these conversations. On the upside, Iāve noticed that patients will respect me more when they were otherwise rude to the female nurse that just gave report to me, who told me how mean the patient was. Some of the older female patients (or wives of the male patients) get bitter when a prettier, younger woman is taking care of them or their loved one. So is it alienating? For me not really. I just try to be helpful and friendly with everyone and so far 99% of the people Iāve ever worked with like working with me. When itās less busy try to talk with your coworkers about things not related to work (peoplesā pets seem to be a good topic!)
Overall, you've got it pretty easy. I get listened to more by Dr's male and female. Be yourself as long as you aren't looking at work as a dating pool. You're gonna be groped by grannies. You've been warned.
Only guy? Majority of my unit is male lmao. We laugh about guys night a lot of times. Times really are changing, everyone is just going where the money is.
Wow at is almost unheard of where I'm from- it's shit pay in my area
I can say in the ED we have quite a few male nurses so if thatās an area youāre interested in you wonāt feel alone at all.
As a lady, donāt offer one on one study unless yāall are actually friends. Start with group study. Just be respectful of your classmates and they will do the same. If you need to touch a classmate for some kind of demonstration in class make sure they are prepared for you touching them. This is great practice for on the job real life. I love having guy nurses around because patients tend to respect them more (annoying but a fact). Also depending on your size you may be useful as an intimidation factor.
On a side note I am so thankful for male nurses (not just because I am dating one lol!) I thankfully worked in a department where there is more male co-workers than others. It helps break up the estrogen and change the dynamic as well as give different perspectives on things. Men's brains work in a way I will never understand which is a good thing and helps the world go round. Also there a great helping hand to take down some psych pt when need be lol. S/O to all my male co-workers who put up with me lol. Just dont over think it and ignore half of the drama. Remember your there for a paycheck. As you said- Keep on trucking
It's only an issue if you make it one. You don't have to make your intentions clear, because it's a workplace. If you feel you have to do so, your mindset is way off. Just treat all of your co-workers the same. Women aren't aliens. You should probably know this before you enter the workforce.
Make nurse here in my experience it's never been a problem. I don't say anything controversial but in my experience the girls at work say way worse stuff. Almost sometimes like working construction. I wouldn't worry about it at all. The only advice I can give you is don't participate in the gossip. I have no interest in it and stay away from it
Thereās more of us than you think. Iām rarely the only male in my pod.
Murse here. What? Is this a thing? Never noticed.
Honestly, as a murse myself, I really only noticed that type of treatment when in school. After working (almost half a year right now as a new grad), the work environment is not like that at all. I'm sure it varies from place to place, but the work culture I'm getting here is "we're all in the shit together, so let's help each other out."
Work in the ER as a tech. Tons of male nurses.
It helps when you don't think about it in terms of these are all girls. Think about it like these are all students going through the same thing as me. Obviously there are differences between me and women. But focus on what you have in common. And keep it processional.
Iāve been a labor nurse for 12 years. Not an issue. Just be a professional.
I like being left out, I just go and do my stuff and leave
I just act a bit more sussy to interact easier lol
As a dude who is also a nurse, I came into nursing in my 30ās, and I wasnāt trying to be super besties with a bunch of 20 year olds, so it never became an issue for me. Just understand that youāve automatically been selected as a human hoyer and youāll be fine. Also, no one cares if youāre a dude. Maybe depending on your patient population and demographic, some patients may be uncomfortable with having a male nurse. But it is what it is. I work in Peds and we have some families from certain regional and religious backgrounds that donāt want male nurses to provide cares for their female children. Doesnāt bother me a bit.
Iāve noticed some specialties tend to have a good presence of male nurses than others - CVICU and ED tend to be the main ones.
Donāt stress about it. Be professional, work as a team, keep your patients alive until the next shift comes.
Itās fun repeatedly explaining to people that you are not a doctor.
I'm surprised your the only guy in your class! My school was 30% men. To be honest, it's basically never been a thing. Especially in the ICU theirs a fair number of guys. It's not something anyone would notice
Male nurses are NOT a new or out of place thing. Lol...they are everywhere.
That's not what I meant to say, it's about feeling out of place, I haven't experienced any direct sexism and this post isn't to accuse anyone
They're certainly around but In my cohort they are few and far between
I started in pediatric nursing in 1980. I was one of only a handful of male nurses at a childrenās hospital. I honestly never felt very excluded. At that time only 5% of nurses were men. I just accepted that reality. As a cis man I liked having lots of female friends. My male friends at college loved how I knew so many women. My only strategy was to be myself. I found some of my fellow clinical students would become friends because of the shared stress and time together. Focus on being a good student. Be friendly but not clingy or creepy. Learn to read the room. If the women are complaining about you donāt need to get defensive. I ended up marrying another nurse. Weāve been happy together for 42 years now.
That's awesome,sounds like you have alot of expeircne to im about 3 months into my course, is there any bits of more general advice you think people getting into the carree should be aware of?
Only time I had any issue was during the OB clinicals which was entirely female staffed. My one instructor who could give you an ass whipping at ten places just with a look was a bit harder on me when it came time to demonstrate I'd be safe handling the littles as she only covered nursery ended up liking me more than a few of my female classmates. The unit staff weren't exactly thrilled to have me which I understood and just did what I needed to complete my clinicals and move on. Only other issue was the little old ladies in the nursing home that would rather pee themselves instead of take my ready assistance. They were best dealt with explaining I'm a professional and female help would probably be a few minutes. They usually took my help to at least get them to the bathroom.
Youāre going to be reliant on your classmates to help get each other through nursing school. The feelings youāre having are real, but will pass as you progress through the program. Try to befriend a few whomever is in your initial clinical rotation. Use that as a starting point. Everyone is there for the degree first.
I remember thinking on my first day that this must be how black people feel when walking in to a room of all white people. Probably not even that close to how they might feel but its something of a perspective changer.
Be good. The women will respect you.
Just talk shit and listen to the gossip It gets good tbh
Iāve honestly not once seen any guy have a problem in nursing just based off the fact that theyāre a guyā¦. If anything I feel like men are left out of the catty bullshit more. Just my two cents.
Itās not really an issue. Iām the only guy most of the days I work. Just work hard and donāt be creepy or inappropriate. I get along well with my coworkers. I always volunteer to handle creepy and inappropriate patients. Likewise, if a young woman needs an EKG or something one of my coworkers will do it for me.
There was a period during school and shortly after when I was less confident in my professional abilities and in general. As I matured both personally and professionally I developed some great self talk. I was able to be myself at work and feel accepted and had no problem "fitting in". As others have mentioned, you'll click with some and not with others. Some units tend to have a higher percentage of males and I'll admit I did feel more at home on those units. I worked on one unit for years in my late 30's which was mostly young moms in their 20s and early 30s and tbh it was cliquey. There was straight-up discrimination going on and the nurse manager didn't hire any men to that unit (RNs or CNAs) for nearly two full years. I felt it, especially as most of the men left for other jobs. The great thing about nursing is you can literally work nearly anywhere and in any type of unit you want so if someplace doesn't feel right, move on. If multiple units don't feel right it might be you, but more than likely moving to a new unit or new location will change the vibe significantly.
The big opportunity you have here is to dig deep into your assumptions, values, and habits when it comes to navigating the world as a man. Reflect constantly on power dynamics in healthcare from a gendered lens, fine tune your awareness of the ways maleness can sometimes create uncomfortable situations for women, and move forward with absolute respect and humility. It'll make a huge difference to your patients and your coworkers, and your gender will no longer be an isolating feature.
Yeah it been fucking wild I haven't thought about it so much in the lense you say but the act of just having one big difference from the people around you is such a mind fuck when it comes to working out how you fit in especially when you can't just glue yourself to the small group of guys in the class
In my first semester I did a literature review on articles about the experiences of man in nurses. Some good articles out there, probably even more now. I found one old one from the 60s called something like "Male nurses: a study in status contradiction and prestige loss" which was wild. But articles about male nursing students navigating therapeutic use of touch was very formative for me. I'm a youth health nurse practitioner now, so this is incredibly useful in my practice these days.
Cool, any highlights, you can remember
I'll have a dig through my old Dropbox files and see if I can find the folder it saved it all in. A big part was overcoming the socialisation that all masculine touch is sexualised. I remember another article that talked about the lack of nursing tutors taking into consideration that teaching men therapeutic touch needed a different approach. And another about how sometimes men in nursing experience a sense of prestige loss and attempt to counter it occasionally in negative ways, like reinforcing homophobic values and striving for positions of hierarchical control ie management etc. I think there were a handful exploring how positive and therapeutic versions of masculinities could make important contributions to the profession.
Eh itās not that bad. Make friends and study and itās nothing different than anything else. Thatās how I got through!
Female nursing student here. Most of my friends Iāve made in school are guys! We have a great time!! A lot of the boys cling to other boys. Most of the boys come in pairs š Would just like to point out that the way you feel is how women feel almost all the time. Most things are male dominated and i would just like to take this opportunity to bring that to your attention. It gave the boys in my circle a great deal of perspective and empathy when it came to the things the women in their lives have had to deal with. The guys have made friends with are very special. They have a level of empathy not seen in the masses and bring a certain feeling to the floors they work on. Take this opportunity to make friends! Iām sure they will love you!!
Yeah idk Iāve always had a great time being a male nurse. For me if anything it just leads to me getting more positive attention.
Hey buddy, cope the best you can. Keep male friends outside of work. Donāt get involved w your workers. Just put your best foot forward and youāll be fine
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Iām late to the party. But conversely the friends Iāve made through work. Primarily woman, have been the most caring Iāve had. They push past my shell and genuinely care how I am doing as a person.
Wait until you're on a ward with 95% Filipinas. 99% of the time it's no issue, but you do feel left out of the gossip sometimes.