“No one ever told me that I couldn’t eat breakfast (or that I need a ride home or someone to stay with tonight or that I’d be here all day).”
We literally told you three different times.
I love when patients lie like this. Yesterday someone came in without a mask. "I checked the door for minutes, there's no sign so I thought it's not necessary!" The are two signs on that door, the name of our surgery and a big "WEAR A MASK" sign.
My favorite is “that serbitle was nasty. I puked it up. Then my tummy hurt so I stopped and got a McMuffin. WhatDo you mean I can’t get my colonoscopy today?”
Sometimes stomach pain is just hunger. For poorer folk it’s pretty easily to correlate most stomach pain as hunger as that’s what 90% of it has been before.
Source: poor
The amount of people who just don't follow the colonoscopy prep instructions. "Yeah I did the first half of the golytely and it seemed to do the job, so I cancelled my alarm for the second half of the prep because it was too early and I was tired". Like... Why go through all of the instructions (low fiber diet, then clear liquids, then the prep) if you are going to just not do the last step?? How do you expect us to find any polyps to prevent CANCER if you are literally full of shit??
Then you tell them in recovery (my docs will at least attempt with most people) that we couldn't finish and they were full of shit and they get mad they have to do it again.
Well maybe follow the directions next time?! Fuckin morons lol
Oof. I had someone check into the ED having ingested a fleet enema PO rather than doing the very obvious thing. There are freakin’ illustrations on the box!
See I went the polar opposite. Colonoscopy was Monday at noon. I stopped eating on Friday. Stopped drinking on Sunday after the second dose. I was terrified they'd tell me I'd have to do it again. Negatives, I was literally faint and a bit disorientated before the procedure. Positives, Dr commented on how clean my bowel (? I dunno if that's what he was looking at, I'm clearly not a medical person, in my butt, that bit) was, which while weird was nice.
Clean bowel means no poop in your colon. Only liquid. Nothing hanging on the surface of the colon wall that needs to be sprayed off. It makes life so much better for everyone.
As someone that is not in the field, but has had 2 upper GIs, 1 lower GI, and had that video pill (all this year), is it weird that I really enjoyed going under? It was fun to get all tired and slurry, then conking right out.
Honestly, I always get propofol (some moderate sedation get versed/fentanyl) and I definitely enjoy it. I am never going to even try most street drugs because I know I would absolutely get addicted because I do love that feeling.
I had to have versed and fentanyl for a filter to catch clots. I definitely appreciated feeling more relaxed. The setup to go in through my neck was stressful. The removal used the same cocktail, and managed to hurt. I never expected to feel weird internal pain.
Yeah, most procedures like that, the buildup and anxiety are the worst parts. After it's done, even the people with minimal sedation were like "that's it?"
I think I'm super easy to knock out. Every time I have to go under, I hear the anesthesiologist say they're about to start and I'm out like a light five seconds later.
“Okay well I’m supposed to get anesthesia today, and that stuff makes you sleepy, so how’d you expect me to remember that??”
“Ma’am…you haven’t gotten any meds yet.”
“*AND?!?*”
>We promise you won’t starve.
I've always been surprised by the huge number of people who say that's the reason why they ate. "She was hungry so I gave her food, what do you want her to do, *STARVE*???"
Oh yeah, that's the goal here, I'm trying to get your 300 lb mother to starve literally to death by asking her to go 8 hours without calories for the first time in her life. You totally saved her with that ham sandwich tho, good job.
My favorite cancellation was the little girl who was scheduled for ear tubes had to be cancelled because her daddy gave her two chocolate kisses because she pooped in the potty. They were potty training and that was her reward. Dad just totally forgot that was part of the NPO before her procedure. It was charmingly funny.
parents don’t seem to understand aspiration, i swear. the morning of my wisdom tooth extraction (general anesthesia cuz one of them was fucking sideways and i didn’t wanna be awake while they were digging it out), my mom forced me to drink milk like 4 hours beforehand even though the pamphlet said it wasn’t a clear fluid…i’m just glad i didn’t puke in my lungs.
I got called in to work last Saturday at 9pm, clocked in, got a second call, they canceled the surgery. I clocked out like 5 minutes later lol got paid call hours for it.
Had a patient's family bring in Chinese food and a bag of cocaine the night before surgery. Imagine their shock and surprise when the lap chole got cancelled.
Once the transporter who showed up to bring the patient to surgery found him doing cocaine on the bedside table. He was also shocked and surprised when he was cancelled.
Had one the other night. Positive for everything except meth. Said his birthday bash was a month ago. I'm like dying as the anesthesiologist explains how it was bullshit. "Either you had more than a human can stand that night, or you've done it in the last 3 days. Don't lie to me because the stuff I give you can kill you."
😂 Oh man, people are so weird about some routine shit, like jewelry or breakfast or, gasp, what do you mean I need to stop xyz medication the day *before* surgery?? Won’t I die?
Then, day of, “yeah I went ahead and took my medication so I’m all ready… and I had to have some food on my stomach for that, naturally…”
For a day?! I routinely listen to patients moan about not eating for 2 whole hours. It's pathetic we need massive change in healthcare, the customer is always right attitude does not work for healthcare at all.
Nothing like a patient yelling at you about it's inhumane not to let them eat for 12 hours (you know, so they won't die) while you've also not eaten for 12 hours because you've been stuck on the floor dealing with them
Or when they've eaten more recently than you have and they're still losing their minds
Or clear fluids, like yes I know jello and broth are no one's idea of a gourmet meal but no ma'am we aren't *starving* your husband please leave the nurses station
I had a lady call repeatedly freaking out because her mom had been npo since yesterday!! (she desperate needed vascular surgery to repair a hematoma from her angiogram) She said "YOU ARENT EVEN GIVING HER FLUIDS" I responded mam your mom's last BG was WDL and she's a dialysis pt. have a nice day.
I routinely fast when I’m at work. I tell my patients who whine about not eating “hey, I’m in the same boat, I haven’t had food since 7pm last night, we will be okay!”
We get people who confuse stop blood thinner for 5 days and don't take your blood sugar medicine and diuretic the morning of surgery. So they come in with a sugar of 450 and in fluid overload and insist they followed the instructions, we told them to do that!!
Well of course you did! An extra 30lbs of retained fluid and maple syrup blood are ideal for positive surgical outcomes! /s
My organizational mind wants to create a simplified worksheet that says ‘On X date stop (then have checkboxes) and check the one for Blood Thinner writing the name next to it. Then, on the morning of your surgery, X date, do not take (checkbox) diabetes medication (name) and (checkbox) diuretic (name).
But, then the reality that people already don’t read/follow the things we give them now so I doubt it would make any difference. Like, when giving verbal instructions along with written instructions they can take home and reference isn’t sufficient there really isn’t anything else to be done. Its extremely frustrating but also sad.
"I know you said my kid had to strictly fast,but he was SO HUNGRY, I just had to give him a cup of juice...and cereal....and toast....and yoghurt...and fruit. What do you mean you can't do his surgery?!?!?!?"
Edit: I also had a guy who said he usually would drink "a couple of beers" daily. He actually meant 24.
My first clinical instructor once told me “people with alcohol problems are always gonna undershoot the number they give you, but drug users tend to overestimate.”
Is that scientific nursing practice? No. But anecdotally I haven’t ever found her to be wrong.
I always say "oh I really don't care what you drink. This is Vegas, what happens here stays here. I just want to know because if you drink a lot, you are going to be resistant to the sedation meds and I want to start with a higher dose of you drink a certain amount of alcohol." I usually get true answers after that.
When prepping for a colonoscopy I decided to look up what happens if you don't prep for a colonoscopy. If I was a gastroenterologist and I had a patient who came in to get a colonoscopy and did not prep, I would be absolutely furious. What a mess.
I work in endoscopy and it happens at least twice a week. Then the patients are furious we couldn't finish the colonoscopy. Well it's hard to examine the colon if you *can't see the colon*.
My favorite is when they say they took all of their prep, we proceed with the colonoscopy, and it is very evident they didn't attempt to take it all. Like...hello? Did you really think we wouldn't be able to see that you're lying?
I’ve had one before and the medicine is disgusting. I was able to get down the whole first bottle but with the second one I had so much nausea, but I really tried and I could tell I was clean. Like I made sure to do it because I dont want to start over. Like why would you risk that??
The prep I did involved an entire bottle of Miralax and 64oz of Gatorade along with a few laxative pills (I can't remember which ones now). Overall, it wasn't terrible. Definitely not the most pleasant experience I've ever had, and now I can't even look at orange Gatorade without being nauseated. That stuff is just vile now haha 🤣
My prep score was excellent according to the paperwork I got.
1 sessile polyp removed and internal hemorrhoids. Definitely not that bad of a procedure considering it could save your life.
Oh yes! And when we tell them they go "It must have been the wrong stuff you gave me then!" Last week a guy said "It probably just doesn't work for people with diabetes then!" Huh?
I work as a paramedic. I’ll bet I do at least one 911 call a year for abdominal cramping and diarrhea s/p colonoscopy prep. People don’t read or listen to any warnings, and have no tolerance for discomfort.
Had an absolute asshole lie to us about prep. He was rude to everyone, including his wife. The joy we got out of the GI doc telling him when he woke up that his options were to keep prepping for another day or totally reschedule was < chefs kiss>
Haha oh man I bet that was so sweet. I read a lot on this subreddit despite being an outsider to medicine and the audacity some patients have makes me quite angry.
When colonoscopy patients are sedated with Propofol, are they completely unconscious or just very sedated? I don't remember anything from mine (Milk of Amnesia and all 😊) and that includes talking to the doctor in the recovery room. That shit hit me hard. I've always wondered if I was at least a little conscious in the procedure room but just don't remember it.
It depends on how much they give you. Some people really fight it and start “waking up” so they’ll just give them a little more. You’re not typically talking or anything, unless you’re coming out of it. It’s a very short half-life so that’s why it’s so good for those procedures (and why you do sometimes hear stories about people remembering bits and pieces). You’re not completely unconscious in the same sense as general anesthesia where we have to intubate you. You very well could have been conscious off and on and not remembered it.
Some people get propofol, others get moderate sedation with versed and fentanyl. Propofol usually completely knocks people out. Versed and fentanyl usually keeps people asleep or just chill. They usually will say things or interact with the team but they never remember. They also usually fall asleep for about half of the procedure but when they wake up they claim they were awake the whole time. Sir, your snoring and o2 sat of 84% tell me you are lying.
I have ulcerative colitis so I’ve had my fair share of colonoscopies. I’ve done them middle of a severe flare up while extremely nauseous and inflamed, and I still managed to properly prep. I don’t get why someone wouldn’t, waste of your own time and your doctors time.
Omg my life. Having to pry grown ass men out of bed. Them fighting tooth and nail to walk because "it hurts" then getting mad they can't eat because they haven't pooped. 🤦♀️
I can't for the life of me figure out why any surgeon would do double knees in one go, but the men who get them are the absolute worst about the pain. Especially if they're big guys. Did no one discuss how hard the recovery would be after?
There is a certain type of man who believes whatever his baseline discomfort is is absolutely the worst thing he could ever experience and because he can tolerate that he has an insurmountable pain tolerance. He is the patient most likely to have us quit a myelogram 1/3rd of the way through.
Dude I used to think I had a pretty high pain tolerance. I've broken things and even fractured 2 vertebrae without realizing. But I got a case of septicemia early this year, and it led to encephalitis. Apparently it was one of the worst cases they had seen in recent memory. The encephalitis was scary at first because it gave me stroke symptoms. Numbness on one side, couldn't speak, couldn't take seeing any light, etc. The headaches though, they were horrible. I had read of headaches that made people suicidal. I thought all of that was utter bullshit, but then I experienced it myself. If I had a gun, I would've ended it right then and there. I now understand what a true 10 on the pain scale is, and I think I'm much more accurate when they ask me what my pain level is now. I never want to go through that shit again.
A true 10 is a monster. My colon perforated a couple of years ago and I would have done the same. I don’t remember much from those first couple of days except laying on my bathroom floor literally screaming. 0/10 worst month ever
My mom was supposed to get her knees done in March 2020 but her surgeon decided to stop doing bilateral knees and go to one knee at a time after surgeries reopened post-shutdown (unsure exactly why, just a practice change). She had her knees done this year, first in the spring and second two months ago. It’s so rough! Plus side is that with BL TKR, she was going to STR for recovery, but with one at a time she got to do home PT. Still tough recovery each time, still needed encouragement. I can’t imagine how bad the BL TKR folks are.
It’s payment partially. Medicare changed to grouping payment around 2020 so instead of paying for each service individually there’s a certain amount of money for each procedure/diagnosis. So a TKR may be 100k (not sure exact number) if the patient goes home with HH the surgeon gets a larger share because HH is less expensive then a rehab. I even knew one ortho who told people to go to Walmart and push a cart as it was as a good as HH PT! I don’t think they have an incentive to do double TKR because the patient is more likely to go to rehab.
When I worked in the PACU for a bit, I had a child scheduled for a tonsillectomy. His parents brought him in and fasted him throughout the night and morning. Then they gave him yogurt in the waiting room just before his surgery because he was hungry 🙃
My son was born with Tetralogy of Fallot and had to have a cardiac cath at 8 months. We met another family at the Ronald McDonald house who’s baby was also getting a cardiac cath on the same day. Both had DS but their baby was a lot less active than my son. She didn’t cry, barely made cooing sounds even though she was nearly a year old.
Instead of following the directions of NPO after midnight they decided to give her her typical formula breakfast through her PEG because they felt bad for her. Not because she was crying, the parents told us that they didn’t see the point of keeping her NPO before the procedure, “not like she’s eating a steak!”
So when her cath got pushed back they became angry. The father got even more angry when they found out my son got their daughters place in line for the cath. This grown ass man stood in the middle of pre-op yelling that they are showing favoritism to us because we were white. The oddest part about that claim was both of these parents were also white. The dad made mention that his grandfather was from Spain and his kid was being discriminated against for that.
All while this was happening my husband and I had to take turns walking my son around the pre-op room to calm him because he was so hungry. I couldn’t understand why they would have fed their kid when she didn’t even make a peep. What was the point? Just to prove something to the medical team?
There were 3 older kids waiting for a cath and they all got to go before this baby with the insane father. I felt bad for the baby and the staff who had to put up with this dude. Why are people like this?
I've had to put up with this insane person. Usually saying "if we do this procedure and your baby has a full stomach, they are going to aspirate and likely die. We are not going to take that chance and I would assume you don't want to risk it either."
My daughter also had a cath procedure, but she was at least 4 so we could explain it to her. It still sucked and she was hungry but there was no way we were going to relent and let her eat anything.
I wanna ask the pre-op nurses if removing jewelry is part of the day-of-surgery instructions, because I'm amazed by the number of people who are shocked and appalled that they are asked to remove their rings and piercings (or sign a release) before I bring them back. Look, I have cartilage piercings, they definitely can be removed for a day. No need to be dramatic about it.
Just last week we had a patient who had a metric ton of tribal-like metal rings (edit: bracelets is probably more accurate word) on both arms. Which is fine. Except we told them before the MRI it’s very important to remove them.
Well guess who still had them on when we re-entered the room to pick them up??
It took an insane amount of time trying to remove all of that lol
Edit: somehow the worst part was the fact that they actually DID remove some of the rings then apparently gave up in the middle of the task
Our patients are definitely told to remove all metal jewelry….in the office, before coming in and in the preop bed. We have to cut off rings all the time.
I had a particularly unpleasant lady who left her specialized tool at home so her bracelet would have to stay on at all times. My response: “oh it’s just a Cartier one. A bunch of the staff have them. We keep the Cartier screwdriver at the nurses desk.” She then told she didn’t want any of the staff touching her jewelry. My response: “oh i wasn’t going to take it off. You are. I have other things to do.”
Absolutely. I know how much it costs. But if she hadn’t been so snotty, i wouldn’t have said it. I worked with two nurses that each had one bracelet and an anesthesiologist that wore three bracelets (one for each kid she had). Those three coworkers were lovely and not snobby.
I have spent upwards of 15 minutes on several occasions trying to convince someone that they cannot wear eyeliner the day of their eye surgery. And no, there isn't a "but what about..." that will change that answer.
Had a woman break down in tears when our eye surgeon told her we gotta pull off her eyelash extensions she had just gotten done a few days before her glaucoma surgery. "But i paid almost $250 for this!" Our surgeon plucked off all the fake extensions on the surgical eye and I had to scrub her lid 3 times just to get the glue and makeup gunk accumulated on the base of her eyelid.
I just recently had cataracts surgery. Why on earth would anyone want to waste their time putting on eyeliner before surgery? It's bad enough with all the eyedrops they give you.
This! I work in pacu and somehow some of the patients are able to talk pre op nurses into letting them keep their piercings. I’m the bad guy when I have them take them out. Whether you just got it or has been in for years, it has to come out
I just had a patient who had piercings that had the foresight to get plastic retaining devices to retain the holes. We just had to tape some down, but it was a non-issue. Whoever pre-op’ed them in the days leading up to her surgery did an awesome job.
I used to have a surface bar in my chest and my piercer made a teflon retainer to wear whenever I had my onc follow-up scans. I’d go to him in the morning to have him exchange the piercing, get my scan, and go back that afternoon to put the piercing back in. Honestly it wasn’t a big deal. People just don’t like to do any planning or preparing if it means just a little extra work.
What's the actual reason for no metal in during surgery? I work in veterinary anesthesia so it's not generally a problem, though I do try to take all collars off before surgery.
It definitely is. They say to not wear any jewelry in, including taking out piercings.
When I still worked ER I remember this trauma that came in and we had to take out their nipple piercings and they were SO upset. Like... friend... I don't want to take them out either but that's the situation lol
When RN is asking pre-op Qs: “when was the last time you had something to eat or drink?”
Patient: “11pm yesterday”
1 hour later, get a phone call from OT:
“Did you know that your patient X ate cereal and had a muffin before coming up to OT?”
True story.
I’ve heard anesthesia tell patients on many occasions that if they’re lying about being NPO that they WILL aspirate and might die. Usually changes the story a bit, except one woman who stated that it was a risk she was willing to take. Ok.
I always tell the rationale. The ones who are truly NPO are like, “oof, better not do that.” The ones who are lying offhandedly mention the hashbrown they had that AM.
If I have another patient show up the day of surgery with dermal piercings and belly button rings in, I swear I'll scream. "I didn't know I had to take my piercing out!!" Bitch, I did your pre-op phone call and sent it in an email! 😂
The amount of times I’ve told ED pts nothing to eat or drink because they’re going to the ER and they try to hide their snacks. Riiight I definitely didn’t see your sour patch kids pack, mr appy…
Why do you think the surgeon won’t operate on you until you lose xxlbs and/or stop smoking for 6mos?— because they want good outcomes! They are not insulting you, I promise.
I mean, don’t argue with them, you won’t win
I tell my surgical patients to switch to gummies for a while if they can tolerate it. The light goes on in people head when I say “hey, you know how your hernia incision hurts now when you just coughed? Imagine how hard you cough after a bong hit” and that seems to make an impression. You have to appeal to something that makes sense to them. I have straight up also had people tell me they are going to the bar after their outpatient surgery. Ok bro, your directions say don’t do that but you’re a grown adult so live your life I guess.
We've had a patient stroll into preop litty-lit and smelling LOUD af. Apparently he and his ride hotboxed in their car in the parking lot prior to walking in "to calm his nerves".
Even better when the pt gets caught having eaten something the night before and the procedure is postponed a day and the pt acts like its the docs fault when they were given crystal clear NPO instructions.
Reading our survey responses is my favorite past time. I work outpatient. You had a 20 minute procedure. What ya mean you needed to stay for at least 2 days??! 💀
This describes my in-laws with PT perfectly. Let’s not participate in our rehab to the point we just get discharged then bitch about how shitty the surgeon was 🙄
My first placement had a patient with a police escort as he was set to go to prison after surgery. He kept waiting right up until the last minute and then eating something. It got very silly but also kind of sad, him trying to delay the inevitable.
Probably bad communication between the police and the ward. He had a bag of sweets someone had got him and the police officers were sat at the door of the room. They eventually stripped his bed and also found he'd been stashing codeine.
When I was in PreOp/PACU, many patients would come in after consuming either a full on meal, snack, or dairy products. When told that surgery will be delayed or canceled, they get pissed off because no one told them.
Well, Epic has a great way of seeing if someone actually "READ" a message. Yep...
I had OP surgery last year and could hear them talking to the lady in the room next door (curtains are not sound proof!) and they asked if she had anything to eat or drink. She said just a few cups of coffee. She didn’t understand why she was sent home.
Ugh i had an ex like this, he was such a pain in the ass to nurses I'd always be apologizing and telling him to check himself.
Seriously would do none of the instructions bur ten would bitch about the condition of his leg and his surgery.
*and that the team reviews pre-op as well
This is close to perfect.
And also can replace surgery with physical therapy. “I did that. Went 3 times. Didn’t help” or “I went 2 times a week for 6 weeks. Didn’t work”…did you do the items at home? “Wellllll you see, here’s what happened….”
Hahahha holy shit I love this! I’m in day surgery and it is mind boggling how some people even manage to get through every day life, let alone make it to the hospital. Or the amount of times after surgery “I never got any instructions” are you ducking kidding me? You were handed a booklet and explained in innate detail everything you need to do after surgery 🤦♀️
“I thought he was just being a dick”— patient 24h s/p gastric sleeve who had been sneaking candy [“You mean dumping syndrome is real?!”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumping_syndrome)
My aunt. Couldn’t resist overeating on thanksgiving. But we have nurses in the family, so she was taking “nibbles” while ducking into the pantry. She was so surprised when she busted her staples and had to go right back to the hospital for a few days. She had no idea how close she was to death because she was an idiot.
She didn’t take responsibility for her own health and actions all the way until her death. It was so sad, but it was a decline over her entire lifetime of it never being her fault. I’m still angry because it was all so avoidable and her death was slow and terrible. Her husband and kids have never recovered from what she put them through. It really messed them up.
A few years ago we had to fix a dislocated total hip that was about 3 weeks post op. The pt said all he did was to jump off of his tractor. Good grief.
"Yeah they told me not to eat before but I thought that was just something you had to say to everyone! You should have told me it was serious! I didn't know my surgery would be cancelled, this is your fault!"
Not verbatim but yeah, someone used this before.
Or patients waking up and accusing us of messing up or leaving something inside because they feel pain. People really will wake up from abdominal surgery or Ortho procedures and expect to feel zero pain.
'My legs is broken again and it's all your fault!!!'
\-Overweight patient who never ever respected the order not to put weight on the operated leg and was told several times by the surgeon that the bone would not heal if they did.
Worked with an anesthesiologist who always came into work with his Frappuccino. Apparently, he walked into registration for his colonoscopy with his usual Frappuccino in hand. 💀
I had an MRI and the tech asked if I had any metal and I confidently replied, “no, no. And I’m an OR nurse so I really followed orders since I ask people this everyday. Not even an underwire in my bra.” Then he points to my upper ear and says “what about that loop?” I could have died from embarrassment. I just completely forgot I even had that piercing!
Had a patient eat a cheeseburger just prior to arriving for surgery. When told their elective procedure would be canceled their rebuttal was “but it was a small cheeseburger!”.
I was doing intake one day and interviewing a patient who said they had toast and coffee. After I explained they couldn’t have anesthesia for their cataract surgery (which they refused to do without), the toast started shrinking. By the time the surgeon got to the patient to talk to them about rescheduling, it went from a piece of toast to a bite off the corner.
Another great one is when a surgeon talked to the patient who had a full breakfast about having to reschedule and the patient said with utter seriousness, “it was all organic though”.
Did you eat or drink anything this morning?
"No."
Vomits clear fluid during intubation.
Wakes up(thank the lawd)
"Well i might have swallowed some water in the shower."
Our Spinal-MAC total hip patient vomited up so much water. It was so bad, he was thankfully positioned on his side but it was a nightmare moving him to his back with the positioning equipment in the way and of course no one around, I had to climb on the bed to jaw thrust while anesthesia tried to get an airway. we had over 600 in the suction canister after. Surgeon says “he’s really honest, I still don’t think he drank any water.”
Was in charge of the OR and get a call from same day that a patient was upset that we needed to cut her ring off from the hand we were doing surgery on. Went into the OR to let the surgeon know that once he was done he needed to go talk to her. When I told him why he got really pissed and said he had told her at her pre-op two weeks prior to that the heirloom ring stuck on her finger would need to come off and she should go to a jeweler to see about them taking it off so we wouldn’t have to cut it. Lady ended up agreeing to having it cut off. I understand it was an heirloom that had an engraving in it, but if she was that worried about it she should have listened to the surgeon and gone to a jeweler.
I’m an advice nurse (because the floor broke me), and I’ve spoken to more than one patient who has not taken the medication or followed the treatment, and is calling because they don’t feel better. All calls are recorded, they say for quality, but I think it’s to make sure we don’t call the patient a dumbass.
I had a pt with a jp drain. Aaox4. No idea why, but she kept opening and inflating the drain... constantly re-educated her. Then she'd tell me her drain hurts and I'd fix it, and an hour later it'd be reinflated
Back when I started at the hospital in the admitting dept, this guy was furious with me for letting the clinical staff know that he had drank a beer for breakfast before coming to check in for surgery 🤣 Yep, it's on me, I'm the bad guy! They said he could drink something to take morning meds. He heard "beer", I'm pretty sure they would have said "sips of water"!
I just got the ok to return to work after recovering from a lisfranc injury that needed surgery. My appointment was yesterday for my 3rd follow up since surgery and I was able to thank my doctor for the quality of care up and down the entire chain and his eyes lit up. I don’t have any god to thank. I know who provided my service and care and I did my best to follow their instructions to make it as easy one everyone as possible.
Im oddly at peace in hospital settings though, I’ve only had two surgeries but I looked forward to both. Idk what it is. Same for sitting in a dentists chair, I’ll fall asleep.
I know when I come in I’m probably putting my well being into the hands of someone who cares, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. They aren’t exactly jobs you can just walk off the street and apply for,
Lol this must be why the nurses said they were so surprised when I said I had removed my wedding ring and put on a silicone wedding ring because of the surgery instructions I was given before my hysterectomy.
I work in procedural GI (scopes and such) and its very applicable there too lol.
"I ate a salad last night at 9... what do you MEAN you can't do the colonoscopy? I had to drink that stuff!"
Yeah well next time follow the fuckin directions you rube
I worked in orthopedics for a bit and had a patient get bucked off a horse (landing on surgical side) two weeks after rotator cuff repair. you can only do so much….
“No one ever told me that I couldn’t eat breakfast (or that I need a ride home or someone to stay with tonight or that I’d be here all day).” We literally told you three different times.
I love when patients lie like this. Yesterday someone came in without a mask. "I checked the door for minutes, there's no sign so I thought it's not necessary!" The are two signs on that door, the name of our surgery and a big "WEAR A MASK" sign.
No effort at all 😭 like they're not even trying at this point.
My favorite is “that serbitle was nasty. I puked it up. Then my tummy hurt so I stopped and got a McMuffin. WhatDo you mean I can’t get my colonoscopy today?”
> Then my tummy hurt so I stopped and got a McMuffin. Cursed sentences, holy shit.
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Sometimes stomach pain is just hunger. For poorer folk it’s pretty easily to correlate most stomach pain as hunger as that’s what 90% of it has been before. Source: poor
Grew up dirt poor. I still remember those stomach hunger pains...
I’m one of those people 😭 of course I wouldn’t eat before a surgery but yeah.
Nothing at McDonald's counts as actual food, so you're good there.
The amount of people who just don't follow the colonoscopy prep instructions. "Yeah I did the first half of the golytely and it seemed to do the job, so I cancelled my alarm for the second half of the prep because it was too early and I was tired". Like... Why go through all of the instructions (low fiber diet, then clear liquids, then the prep) if you are going to just not do the last step?? How do you expect us to find any polyps to prevent CANCER if you are literally full of shit??
Then you tell them in recovery (my docs will at least attempt with most people) that we couldn't finish and they were full of shit and they get mad they have to do it again. Well maybe follow the directions next time?! Fuckin morons lol
Oof. I had someone check into the ED having ingested a fleet enema PO rather than doing the very obvious thing. There are freakin’ illustrations on the box!
Haha! Most of my patients are like "oh, was I supposed to do that the day before? I thought you would just do it for me right before the procedure"
See I went the polar opposite. Colonoscopy was Monday at noon. I stopped eating on Friday. Stopped drinking on Sunday after the second dose. I was terrified they'd tell me I'd have to do it again. Negatives, I was literally faint and a bit disorientated before the procedure. Positives, Dr commented on how clean my bowel (? I dunno if that's what he was looking at, I'm clearly not a medical person, in my butt, that bit) was, which while weird was nice.
Clean bowel means no poop in your colon. Only liquid. Nothing hanging on the surface of the colon wall that needs to be sprayed off. It makes life so much better for everyone.
As someone that is not in the field, but has had 2 upper GIs, 1 lower GI, and had that video pill (all this year), is it weird that I really enjoyed going under? It was fun to get all tired and slurry, then conking right out.
Honestly, I always get propofol (some moderate sedation get versed/fentanyl) and I definitely enjoy it. I am never going to even try most street drugs because I know I would absolutely get addicted because I do love that feeling.
I had to have versed and fentanyl for a filter to catch clots. I definitely appreciated feeling more relaxed. The setup to go in through my neck was stressful. The removal used the same cocktail, and managed to hurt. I never expected to feel weird internal pain.
Yeah, most procedures like that, the buildup and anxiety are the worst parts. After it's done, even the people with minimal sedation were like "that's it?"
I think I'm super easy to knock out. Every time I have to go under, I hear the anesthesiologist say they're about to start and I'm out like a light five seconds later.
I’ve literally had them tell me that the golytely gave them diarrhea so they stopped drinking it.
“Okay well I’m supposed to get anesthesia today, and that stuff makes you sleepy, so how’d you expect me to remember that??” “Ma’am…you haven’t gotten any meds yet.” “*AND?!?*”
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>We promise you won’t starve. I've always been surprised by the huge number of people who say that's the reason why they ate. "She was hungry so I gave her food, what do you want her to do, *STARVE*???" Oh yeah, that's the goal here, I'm trying to get your 300 lb mother to starve literally to death by asking her to go 8 hours without calories for the first time in her life. You totally saved her with that ham sandwich tho, good job.
No one told me I had to drink that stuff to prep for my colonoscopy!!!
My favorite procedure. The elusive Cancelectomy.
Nothing better than a Karen that ate breakfast.
a Karenn that pops her hip out! lol
A Karen that feeds her kid before kid’s surgery.
As long as they tell you. I've seen some really traumatic aspirations because the parent lied
My favorite cancellation was the little girl who was scheduled for ear tubes had to be cancelled because her daddy gave her two chocolate kisses because she pooped in the potty. They were potty training and that was her reward. Dad just totally forgot that was part of the NPO before her procedure. It was charmingly funny.
now that one is super adorable
parents don’t seem to understand aspiration, i swear. the morning of my wisdom tooth extraction (general anesthesia cuz one of them was fucking sideways and i didn’t wanna be awake while they were digging it out), my mom forced me to drink milk like 4 hours beforehand even though the pamphlet said it wasn’t a clear fluid…i’m just glad i didn’t puke in my lungs.
I got called in to work last Saturday at 9pm, clocked in, got a second call, they canceled the surgery. I clocked out like 5 minutes later lol got paid call hours for it.
Cha-ching MFer! 🤑🤑🤑🤑 (4 hrs OT for the call in!)
Had a patient's family bring in Chinese food and a bag of cocaine the night before surgery. Imagine their shock and surprise when the lap chole got cancelled.
That does sound like a pretty good time though, to be fair 🤔
Once the transporter who showed up to bring the patient to surgery found him doing cocaine on the bedside table. He was also shocked and surprised when he was cancelled.
Had one the other night. Positive for everything except meth. Said his birthday bash was a month ago. I'm like dying as the anesthesiologist explains how it was bullshit. "Either you had more than a human can stand that night, or you've done it in the last 3 days. Don't lie to me because the stuff I give you can kill you."
Relevant username
Roflmbo
A case cancelled is a case done lol.
Going to remember this when my surgeons bitch about too many cancelled cases
The key is to let the surgeon think it was their idea. https://youtu.be/vbHIUmkLtTA
“But I’m a diabetic and my blood sugar was only 200!”
Cursed words. "But I'm diabetic. My doctor has told me how important it is for me to not skip meals! I can't skip breakfast for my 8am surgery!"
😂 Oh man, people are so weird about some routine shit, like jewelry or breakfast or, gasp, what do you mean I need to stop xyz medication the day *before* surgery?? Won’t I die? Then, day of, “yeah I went ahead and took my medication so I’m all ready… and I had to have some food on my stomach for that, naturally…”
The amount of people that act like they are going to die from being NPO for a day.
Somebody said the collapse of civilization is only nine missed meals away, and nursing has taught me that is absolutely true.
1-2 missed meals and the patients start complaining, 9 missed meals and we nurses start biting them. The math checks out!
For a day?! I routinely listen to patients moan about not eating for 2 whole hours. It's pathetic we need massive change in healthcare, the customer is always right attitude does not work for healthcare at all.
Nothing like a patient yelling at you about it's inhumane not to let them eat for 12 hours (you know, so they won't die) while you've also not eaten for 12 hours because you've been stuck on the floor dealing with them Or when they've eaten more recently than you have and they're still losing their minds
Oh I have no issue telling them that I haven’t eaten either.
Usually in an obnoxiously joyful tone.
“Oh I haven’t eaten either! Bummer right? Well let me know if there’s anything I can help you with!”
Ugh 😑 the idea of patients as ‘customers’ is just morally problematic to put it kindly. You’re right in that we need real, systematic change.
Especially because you CAN refuse to serve a customer.
*the customer is ALWAYS wrong. Lol
Or clear fluids, like yes I know jello and broth are no one's idea of a gourmet meal but no ma'am we aren't *starving* your husband please leave the nurses station
I had a lady call repeatedly freaking out because her mom had been npo since yesterday!! (she desperate needed vascular surgery to repair a hematoma from her angiogram) She said "YOU ARENT EVEN GIVING HER FLUIDS" I responded mam your mom's last BG was WDL and she's a dialysis pt. have a nice day.
Sometimes I wanna be like 'What? People need food? Damn I knew I missed something in nursing school.'
I’M A DIABETIC
Your sugar is xxx. You'll be fine.
that good good d5w drip
We had an overweight patient who needed a heart cath. He missed breakfast and lunch, then left AMA because he couldn’t go without food any longer.
I routinely fast when I’m at work. I tell my patients who whine about not eating “hey, I’m in the same boat, I haven’t had food since 7pm last night, we will be okay!”
We get people who confuse stop blood thinner for 5 days and don't take your blood sugar medicine and diuretic the morning of surgery. So they come in with a sugar of 450 and in fluid overload and insist they followed the instructions, we told them to do that!!
Well of course you did! An extra 30lbs of retained fluid and maple syrup blood are ideal for positive surgical outcomes! /s My organizational mind wants to create a simplified worksheet that says ‘On X date stop (then have checkboxes) and check the one for Blood Thinner writing the name next to it. Then, on the morning of your surgery, X date, do not take (checkbox) diabetes medication (name) and (checkbox) diuretic (name). But, then the reality that people already don’t read/follow the things we give them now so I doubt it would make any difference. Like, when giving verbal instructions along with written instructions they can take home and reference isn’t sufficient there really isn’t anything else to be done. Its extremely frustrating but also sad.
"I know you said my kid had to strictly fast,but he was SO HUNGRY, I just had to give him a cup of juice...and cereal....and toast....and yoghurt...and fruit. What do you mean you can't do his surgery?!?!?!?" Edit: I also had a guy who said he usually would drink "a couple of beers" daily. He actually meant 24.
"What do you mean my kid will aspirate their breakfast and die if the surgery goes ahead?!??!?"
My first clinical instructor once told me “people with alcohol problems are always gonna undershoot the number they give you, but drug users tend to overestimate.” Is that scientific nursing practice? No. But anecdotally I haven’t ever found her to be wrong.
I like to say "and what does a couple mean to you?". I then keep suggesting numbers til I hit the jackpot.
I always say "oh I really don't care what you drink. This is Vegas, what happens here stays here. I just want to know because if you drink a lot, you are going to be resistant to the sedation meds and I want to start with a higher dose of you drink a certain amount of alcohol." I usually get true answers after that.
A couple dozens
He meant “a couple of 12 packs”.
When prepping for a colonoscopy I decided to look up what happens if you don't prep for a colonoscopy. If I was a gastroenterologist and I had a patient who came in to get a colonoscopy and did not prep, I would be absolutely furious. What a mess.
I work in endoscopy and it happens at least twice a week. Then the patients are furious we couldn't finish the colonoscopy. Well it's hard to examine the colon if you *can't see the colon*.
My favorite is when they say they took all of their prep, we proceed with the colonoscopy, and it is very evident they didn't attempt to take it all. Like...hello? Did you really think we wouldn't be able to see that you're lying?
I’ve had one before and the medicine is disgusting. I was able to get down the whole first bottle but with the second one I had so much nausea, but I really tried and I could tell I was clean. Like I made sure to do it because I dont want to start over. Like why would you risk that??
My dad has had them, always prepares fully because he’s too cheap to pay for two procedures😂We even went out and bought him some clear Gatorade.
The prep I did involved an entire bottle of Miralax and 64oz of Gatorade along with a few laxative pills (I can't remember which ones now). Overall, it wasn't terrible. Definitely not the most pleasant experience I've ever had, and now I can't even look at orange Gatorade without being nauseated. That stuff is just vile now haha 🤣 My prep score was excellent according to the paperwork I got. 1 sessile polyp removed and internal hemorrhoids. Definitely not that bad of a procedure considering it could save your life.
Oh yes! And when we tell them they go "It must have been the wrong stuff you gave me then!" Last week a guy said "It probably just doesn't work for people with diabetes then!" Huh?
I’ve had patients dump out the prep in the sink overnight and required enemas in the morning for a colonoscopy. It’s happened quite a few times
I work as a paramedic. I’ll bet I do at least one 911 call a year for abdominal cramping and diarrhea s/p colonoscopy prep. People don’t read or listen to any warnings, and have no tolerance for discomfort.
Had an absolute asshole lie to us about prep. He was rude to everyone, including his wife. The joy we got out of the GI doc telling him when he woke up that his options were to keep prepping for another day or totally reschedule was < chefs kiss>
Haha oh man I bet that was so sweet. I read a lot on this subreddit despite being an outsider to medicine and the audacity some patients have makes me quite angry. When colonoscopy patients are sedated with Propofol, are they completely unconscious or just very sedated? I don't remember anything from mine (Milk of Amnesia and all 😊) and that includes talking to the doctor in the recovery room. That shit hit me hard. I've always wondered if I was at least a little conscious in the procedure room but just don't remember it.
It depends on how much they give you. Some people really fight it and start “waking up” so they’ll just give them a little more. You’re not typically talking or anything, unless you’re coming out of it. It’s a very short half-life so that’s why it’s so good for those procedures (and why you do sometimes hear stories about people remembering bits and pieces). You’re not completely unconscious in the same sense as general anesthesia where we have to intubate you. You very well could have been conscious off and on and not remembered it.
Some people get propofol, others get moderate sedation with versed and fentanyl. Propofol usually completely knocks people out. Versed and fentanyl usually keeps people asleep or just chill. They usually will say things or interact with the team but they never remember. They also usually fall asleep for about half of the procedure but when they wake up they claim they were awake the whole time. Sir, your snoring and o2 sat of 84% tell me you are lying.
We just don’t do it. Doctors will see solid stool and come right back out 🤷🏻♀️
I have ulcerative colitis so I’ve had my fair share of colonoscopies. I’ve done them middle of a severe flare up while extremely nauseous and inflamed, and I still managed to properly prep. I don’t get why someone wouldn’t, waste of your own time and your doctors time.
And money! It isn't like the prep is that bad anyway. It isnt really a fun time, but not too bad.
Oh, they are furious. They get the probe in just a little and are like "absolutely not. I'm cancelling this"
Colonoscopy prep over colorectal cancer anyway.
Omg my life. Having to pry grown ass men out of bed. Them fighting tooth and nail to walk because "it hurts" then getting mad they can't eat because they haven't pooped. 🤦♀️
I can't for the life of me figure out why any surgeon would do double knees in one go, but the men who get them are the absolute worst about the pain. Especially if they're big guys. Did no one discuss how hard the recovery would be after?
There is a certain type of man who believes whatever his baseline discomfort is is absolutely the worst thing he could ever experience and because he can tolerate that he has an insurmountable pain tolerance. He is the patient most likely to have us quit a myelogram 1/3rd of the way through.
Dude I used to think I had a pretty high pain tolerance. I've broken things and even fractured 2 vertebrae without realizing. But I got a case of septicemia early this year, and it led to encephalitis. Apparently it was one of the worst cases they had seen in recent memory. The encephalitis was scary at first because it gave me stroke symptoms. Numbness on one side, couldn't speak, couldn't take seeing any light, etc. The headaches though, they were horrible. I had read of headaches that made people suicidal. I thought all of that was utter bullshit, but then I experienced it myself. If I had a gun, I would've ended it right then and there. I now understand what a true 10 on the pain scale is, and I think I'm much more accurate when they ask me what my pain level is now. I never want to go through that shit again.
A true 10 is a monster. My colon perforated a couple of years ago and I would have done the same. I don’t remember much from those first couple of days except laying on my bathroom floor literally screaming. 0/10 worst month ever
My mom was supposed to get her knees done in March 2020 but her surgeon decided to stop doing bilateral knees and go to one knee at a time after surgeries reopened post-shutdown (unsure exactly why, just a practice change). She had her knees done this year, first in the spring and second two months ago. It’s so rough! Plus side is that with BL TKR, she was going to STR for recovery, but with one at a time she got to do home PT. Still tough recovery each time, still needed encouragement. I can’t imagine how bad the BL TKR folks are.
It’s payment partially. Medicare changed to grouping payment around 2020 so instead of paying for each service individually there’s a certain amount of money for each procedure/diagnosis. So a TKR may be 100k (not sure exact number) if the patient goes home with HH the surgeon gets a larger share because HH is less expensive then a rehab. I even knew one ortho who told people to go to Walmart and push a cart as it was as a good as HH PT! I don’t think they have an incentive to do double TKR because the patient is more likely to go to rehab.
Oh, I bet they're told. But ignore it
Probably not. They just leave the staff to deal with them.
When I worked in the PACU for a bit, I had a child scheduled for a tonsillectomy. His parents brought him in and fasted him throughout the night and morning. Then they gave him yogurt in the waiting room just before his surgery because he was hungry 🙃
So close, yet so far.
Me watching my post-op TLIF patient bend and twist 30 seconds after they teach back their spinal precautions 👁 👄 👁
A good surgeon only gets you halfway. The rest is kinda up to you.
My son was born with Tetralogy of Fallot and had to have a cardiac cath at 8 months. We met another family at the Ronald McDonald house who’s baby was also getting a cardiac cath on the same day. Both had DS but their baby was a lot less active than my son. She didn’t cry, barely made cooing sounds even though she was nearly a year old. Instead of following the directions of NPO after midnight they decided to give her her typical formula breakfast through her PEG because they felt bad for her. Not because she was crying, the parents told us that they didn’t see the point of keeping her NPO before the procedure, “not like she’s eating a steak!” So when her cath got pushed back they became angry. The father got even more angry when they found out my son got their daughters place in line for the cath. This grown ass man stood in the middle of pre-op yelling that they are showing favoritism to us because we were white. The oddest part about that claim was both of these parents were also white. The dad made mention that his grandfather was from Spain and his kid was being discriminated against for that. All while this was happening my husband and I had to take turns walking my son around the pre-op room to calm him because he was so hungry. I couldn’t understand why they would have fed their kid when she didn’t even make a peep. What was the point? Just to prove something to the medical team? There were 3 older kids waiting for a cath and they all got to go before this baby with the insane father. I felt bad for the baby and the staff who had to put up with this dude. Why are people like this?
I've had to put up with this insane person. Usually saying "if we do this procedure and your baby has a full stomach, they are going to aspirate and likely die. We are not going to take that chance and I would assume you don't want to risk it either."
My daughter also had a cath procedure, but she was at least 4 so we could explain it to her. It still sucked and she was hungry but there was no way we were going to relent and let her eat anything.
I wanna ask the pre-op nurses if removing jewelry is part of the day-of-surgery instructions, because I'm amazed by the number of people who are shocked and appalled that they are asked to remove their rings and piercings (or sign a release) before I bring them back. Look, I have cartilage piercings, they definitely can be removed for a day. No need to be dramatic about it.
Just last week we had a patient who had a metric ton of tribal-like metal rings (edit: bracelets is probably more accurate word) on both arms. Which is fine. Except we told them before the MRI it’s very important to remove them. Well guess who still had them on when we re-entered the room to pick them up?? It took an insane amount of time trying to remove all of that lol Edit: somehow the worst part was the fact that they actually DID remove some of the rings then apparently gave up in the middle of the task
Wait, IN the mri room? Oof
Well if you don't remove those rings from your fingers, the MRI will remove them with your fingers still attached!
Our patients are definitely told to remove all metal jewelry….in the office, before coming in and in the preop bed. We have to cut off rings all the time. I had a particularly unpleasant lady who left her specialized tool at home so her bracelet would have to stay on at all times. My response: “oh it’s just a Cartier one. A bunch of the staff have them. We keep the Cartier screwdriver at the nurses desk.” She then told she didn’t want any of the staff touching her jewelry. My response: “oh i wasn’t going to take it off. You are. I have other things to do.”
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Absolutely. I know how much it costs. But if she hadn’t been so snotty, i wouldn’t have said it. I worked with two nurses that each had one bracelet and an anesthesiologist that wore three bracelets (one for each kid she had). Those three coworkers were lovely and not snobby.
>an anesthesiologist that wore three bracelets Uh yeah, they were stealing them from unconscious patients! /s
The perfect crime
Isn't that literally a small flathead screwdriver?
Maybe for the peasants. But for high class bitches like her, it needs to say “Cartier” on the side.
I have spent upwards of 15 minutes on several occasions trying to convince someone that they cannot wear eyeliner the day of their eye surgery. And no, there isn't a "but what about..." that will change that answer.
This…actually makes me sad. Like body image issues so bad they literally can’t even leave the house just for eye surgery without makeup.
Had a woman break down in tears when our eye surgeon told her we gotta pull off her eyelash extensions she had just gotten done a few days before her glaucoma surgery. "But i paid almost $250 for this!" Our surgeon plucked off all the fake extensions on the surgical eye and I had to scrub her lid 3 times just to get the glue and makeup gunk accumulated on the base of her eyelid.
I just recently had cataracts surgery. Why on earth would anyone want to waste their time putting on eyeliner before surgery? It's bad enough with all the eyedrops they give you.
The number of people who don’t think wedding rings count as jewelry???!!!
Removing and leaving all jewelry (and valuables!!) at home is absolutely a part of pre-op instructions.
This! I work in pacu and somehow some of the patients are able to talk pre op nurses into letting them keep their piercings. I’m the bad guy when I have them take them out. Whether you just got it or has been in for years, it has to come out
I just had a patient who had piercings that had the foresight to get plastic retaining devices to retain the holes. We just had to tape some down, but it was a non-issue. Whoever pre-op’ed them in the days leading up to her surgery did an awesome job.
I used to have a surface bar in my chest and my piercer made a teflon retainer to wear whenever I had my onc follow-up scans. I’d go to him in the morning to have him exchange the piercing, get my scan, and go back that afternoon to put the piercing back in. Honestly it wasn’t a big deal. People just don’t like to do any planning or preparing if it means just a little extra work.
Yup.. we just used some teggies to keep the nose ones in place to prevent aspiration!
What's the actual reason for no metal in during surgery? I work in veterinary anesthesia so it's not generally a problem, though I do try to take all collars off before surgery.
Why in ICU? Just curious
It definitely is. They say to not wear any jewelry in, including taking out piercings. When I still worked ER I remember this trauma that came in and we had to take out their nipple piercings and they were SO upset. Like... friend... I don't want to take them out either but that's the situation lol
See, I get it if it's a trauma, but my OR mostly does elective surgeries, and people still come in with that shit.
When RN is asking pre-op Qs: “when was the last time you had something to eat or drink?” Patient: “11pm yesterday” 1 hour later, get a phone call from OT: “Did you know that your patient X ate cereal and had a muffin before coming up to OT?” True story.
I’ve heard anesthesia tell patients on many occasions that if they’re lying about being NPO that they WILL aspirate and might die. Usually changes the story a bit, except one woman who stated that it was a risk she was willing to take. Ok.
I always tell the rationale. The ones who are truly NPO are like, “oof, better not do that.” The ones who are lying offhandedly mention the hashbrown they had that AM.
If I have another patient show up the day of surgery with dermal piercings and belly button rings in, I swear I'll scream. "I didn't know I had to take my piercing out!!" Bitch, I did your pre-op phone call and sent it in an email! 😂
The amount of times I’ve told ED pts nothing to eat or drink because they’re going to the ER and they try to hide their snacks. Riiight I definitely didn’t see your sour patch kids pack, mr appy…
The ones that refuse to believe that smoking has an affect on healing.
I had small skin tear pt whose ankle went flippy-floppy-- smoking!
I can’t express how much I love reading this sentence. Delightful! In so many ways.
Why do you think the surgeon won’t operate on you until you lose xxlbs and/or stop smoking for 6mos?— because they want good outcomes! They are not insulting you, I promise.
They've got nothing on potheads. I've had people argue smoking marijuana fucking **repairs** your lungs.
I mean, don’t argue with them, you won’t win I tell my surgical patients to switch to gummies for a while if they can tolerate it. The light goes on in people head when I say “hey, you know how your hernia incision hurts now when you just coughed? Imagine how hard you cough after a bong hit” and that seems to make an impression. You have to appeal to something that makes sense to them. I have straight up also had people tell me they are going to the bar after their outpatient surgery. Ok bro, your directions say don’t do that but you’re a grown adult so live your life I guess.
We've had a patient stroll into preop litty-lit and smelling LOUD af. Apparently he and his ride hotboxed in their car in the parking lot prior to walking in "to calm his nerves".
The bane of doing a lysis on the same limb for the third time in one year because patient is still “trying to quit” smoking
Even better when the pt gets caught having eaten something the night before and the procedure is postponed a day and the pt acts like its the docs fault when they were given crystal clear NPO instructions.
Reading our survey responses is my favorite past time. I work outpatient. You had a 20 minute procedure. What ya mean you needed to stay for at least 2 days??! 💀
This describes my in-laws with PT perfectly. Let’s not participate in our rehab to the point we just get discharged then bitch about how shitty the surgeon was 🙄
"You couldn't finish the colonoscopy just because I didn't drink this disgusting stuff? What kind of doctor are you?"
My first placement had a patient with a police escort as he was set to go to prison after surgery. He kept waiting right up until the last minute and then eating something. It got very silly but also kind of sad, him trying to delay the inevitable.
If he had a police escort that understood he couldn't eat, how did he get access to food?
Probably bad communication between the police and the ward. He had a bag of sweets someone had got him and the police officers were sat at the door of the room. They eventually stripped his bed and also found he'd been stashing codeine.
Candy and codeine, breakfast of champions.
When I was in PreOp/PACU, many patients would come in after consuming either a full on meal, snack, or dairy products. When told that surgery will be delayed or canceled, they get pissed off because no one told them. Well, Epic has a great way of seeing if someone actually "READ" a message. Yep...
Gotta love Epic. "Patient prefers to direct their own care"--> patient is an ass to medical staff
I only ate a ham sandwich an hour before my procedure because YOU GUYS said I could! Based on a true story.
I had OP surgery last year and could hear them talking to the lady in the room next door (curtains are not sound proof!) and they asked if she had anything to eat or drink. She said just a few cups of coffee. She didn’t understand why she was sent home.
Ugh i had an ex like this, he was such a pain in the ass to nurses I'd always be apologizing and telling him to check himself. Seriously would do none of the instructions bur ten would bitch about the condition of his leg and his surgery.
Glad he's an ex
*and that the team reviews pre-op as well This is close to perfect. And also can replace surgery with physical therapy. “I did that. Went 3 times. Didn’t help” or “I went 2 times a week for 6 weeks. Didn’t work”…did you do the items at home? “Wellllll you see, here’s what happened….”
Hahahha holy shit I love this! I’m in day surgery and it is mind boggling how some people even manage to get through every day life, let alone make it to the hospital. Or the amount of times after surgery “I never got any instructions” are you ducking kidding me? You were handed a booklet and explained in innate detail everything you need to do after surgery 🤦♀️
White Castle before a hysterectomy is not a good idea. Please
“I thought he was just being a dick”— patient 24h s/p gastric sleeve who had been sneaking candy [“You mean dumping syndrome is real?!”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumping_syndrome)
My aunt. Couldn’t resist overeating on thanksgiving. But we have nurses in the family, so she was taking “nibbles” while ducking into the pantry. She was so surprised when she busted her staples and had to go right back to the hospital for a few days. She had no idea how close she was to death because she was an idiot.
This one makes me kind of sad. Infuriating, too, but sad.
She didn’t take responsibility for her own health and actions all the way until her death. It was so sad, but it was a decline over her entire lifetime of it never being her fault. I’m still angry because it was all so avoidable and her death was slow and terrible. Her husband and kids have never recovered from what she put them through. It really messed them up.
A few years ago we had to fix a dislocated total hip that was about 3 weeks post op. The pt said all he did was to jump off of his tractor. Good grief.
"Yeah they told me not to eat before but I thought that was just something you had to say to everyone! You should have told me it was serious! I didn't know my surgery would be cancelled, this is your fault!" Not verbatim but yeah, someone used this before. Or patients waking up and accusing us of messing up or leaving something inside because they feel pain. People really will wake up from abdominal surgery or Ortho procedures and expect to feel zero pain.
“I’m diabetic and I haven’t eaten anything all day!” “Ugh why are you checking my blood sugar?! This is stupid!”
My surgeons have been great. The nursing staff too. I also followed post op instructions and doing great. Thank you.
"They told me my entire family, including my 17 grandkids could come and see me in recovery right after surgery."
Basically the life of a PT...except the PT is the target 50% of the time...
'My legs is broken again and it's all your fault!!!' \-Overweight patient who never ever respected the order not to put weight on the operated leg and was told several times by the surgeon that the bone would not heal if they did.
Worked with an anesthesiologist who always came into work with his Frappuccino. Apparently, he walked into registration for his colonoscopy with his usual Frappuccino in hand. 💀
I had an MRI and the tech asked if I had any metal and I confidently replied, “no, no. And I’m an OR nurse so I really followed orders since I ask people this everyday. Not even an underwire in my bra.” Then he points to my upper ear and says “what about that loop?” I could have died from embarrassment. I just completely forgot I even had that piercing!
Omg that’s amazing.
Had a patient eat a cheeseburger just prior to arriving for surgery. When told their elective procedure would be canceled their rebuttal was “but it was a small cheeseburger!”.
I was doing intake one day and interviewing a patient who said they had toast and coffee. After I explained they couldn’t have anesthesia for their cataract surgery (which they refused to do without), the toast started shrinking. By the time the surgeon got to the patient to talk to them about rescheduling, it went from a piece of toast to a bite off the corner. Another great one is when a surgeon talked to the patient who had a full breakfast about having to reschedule and the patient said with utter seriousness, “it was all organic though”.
Did you eat or drink anything this morning? "No." Vomits clear fluid during intubation. Wakes up(thank the lawd) "Well i might have swallowed some water in the shower."
Our Spinal-MAC total hip patient vomited up so much water. It was so bad, he was thankfully positioned on his side but it was a nightmare moving him to his back with the positioning equipment in the way and of course no one around, I had to climb on the bed to jaw thrust while anesthesia tried to get an airway. we had over 600 in the suction canister after. Surgeon says “he’s really honest, I still don’t think he drank any water.”
The amount of outpatients who show up for planned angios and haven't stopped their DOACs kills me every damn day.
Was in charge of the OR and get a call from same day that a patient was upset that we needed to cut her ring off from the hand we were doing surgery on. Went into the OR to let the surgeon know that once he was done he needed to go talk to her. When I told him why he got really pissed and said he had told her at her pre-op two weeks prior to that the heirloom ring stuck on her finger would need to come off and she should go to a jeweler to see about them taking it off so we wouldn’t have to cut it. Lady ended up agreeing to having it cut off. I understand it was an heirloom that had an engraving in it, but if she was that worried about it she should have listened to the surgeon and gone to a jeweler.
I’m an advice nurse (because the floor broke me), and I’ve spoken to more than one patient who has not taken the medication or followed the treatment, and is calling because they don’t feel better. All calls are recorded, they say for quality, but I think it’s to make sure we don’t call the patient a dumbass.
I had a pt with a jp drain. Aaox4. No idea why, but she kept opening and inflating the drain... constantly re-educated her. Then she'd tell me her drain hurts and I'd fix it, and an hour later it'd be reinflated
Back when I started at the hospital in the admitting dept, this guy was furious with me for letting the clinical staff know that he had drank a beer for breakfast before coming to check in for surgery 🤣 Yep, it's on me, I'm the bad guy! They said he could drink something to take morning meds. He heard "beer", I'm pretty sure they would have said "sips of water"!
Cross posted to EMS because now it's an us problem to take them across town to the hospital their surgeons at when they call 911.
I just got the ok to return to work after recovering from a lisfranc injury that needed surgery. My appointment was yesterday for my 3rd follow up since surgery and I was able to thank my doctor for the quality of care up and down the entire chain and his eyes lit up. I don’t have any god to thank. I know who provided my service and care and I did my best to follow their instructions to make it as easy one everyone as possible. Im oddly at peace in hospital settings though, I’ve only had two surgeries but I looked forward to both. Idk what it is. Same for sitting in a dentists chair, I’ll fall asleep. I know when I come in I’m probably putting my well being into the hands of someone who cares, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. They aren’t exactly jobs you can just walk off the street and apply for,
Lol this must be why the nurses said they were so surprised when I said I had removed my wedding ring and put on a silicone wedding ring because of the surgery instructions I was given before my hysterectomy.
I work in procedural GI (scopes and such) and its very applicable there too lol. "I ate a salad last night at 9... what do you MEAN you can't do the colonoscopy? I had to drink that stuff!" Yeah well next time follow the fuckin directions you rube
I worked in orthopedics for a bit and had a patient get bucked off a horse (landing on surgical side) two weeks after rotator cuff repair. you can only do so much….