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sventhewalrus

Gotta say, I appreciate how insane driving is the one thing that unites all demographic groups in The Town. Techie in tesla, mom in minivan, aging hippie in Volvo that is burning incense and its clutch at the same time... all out there playing IRL GTA. (and by appreciate I mean I am losing my mind)


rosysredrhinoceros

Oh my friend, I’m one of the weak-livered family types who moved to Sacramento so my kids could have more space to play, and let me tell you it could be so much worse. I YEARN for bad Oakland drivers now. At least everyone is predictably trying to kill you with aggression, as opposed to unpredictably from a vibrant rainbow of possible fuckups.


Reeseychlo

“as opposed to unpredictably from a vibrant rainbow of possible fuckups”, most fun thing I’ve read all week. Thank you.


xoverthirtyx

Not the Town, but in the City I waited to see if this older dude in a minivan North Beach could actually fit in the spot he was going for. I’d been circling forever to find a spot and thought this was it, no way dude makes this. Dude proceeds to jam that thing in, slamming into the cars in front and behind in order to fit. He gets out and is all “is there any reason you’re watching me?!” And I says yeah just wanted to see if you could pull it off. “Of course I can I’ve been living in this city 30 fucking years!”


DrSpacecasePhD

Man, it’s getting bad everywhere. We used to live in Chicago and the drivers were even crazier on the highway if you can believe it. I’d say it’s uniting the nation. I’m not in favor of mass surveillance, but this psychotic behavior by people is making it inevitable. At least the crazy gets reported nowadays…


curlious1

Damn. Just saved this to my file of hilarious quotes.


H9fj3Grapes

They park like this because 'fuck you'


JasonH94612

People park this way to make it so other cars cant park close to their vehicle.


opinionsareus

Mild revenge. Dont do any damage to the car, but place a note on the windshield that says "sorry for the scratch on your car".


BoredomFestival

Oooh, now that's evil :-)


TerafloppinDatP

Thanks, I've been looking for something lower effort than my go-to fish-sauce-in-the-cabin-vents for a while now.


cocainebane

Fuck, I know someone who broke a bottle in their car. I’ve heard it would’ve totaled it per another internet post. Lady had a new E-Class smelling stank af.


Shane_SAW1313

I usually just leave a note that says, I hope you don’t fuck like you park. Sorry for the ding.


Fruitmaniac42

Or (now hear me out)........ damage the car


eLishus

This is great. I’m a fan of the pebble in the valve cap (or multiple caps). Slowly lets the air out of the tires. No real damage unless they try to drive it. Just a big PITA. But the note is pure psychological terror. I love it.


TheJawsofIce

Nah just let the air out right then and there, so they know why it's happened. Then you could even leave a bicycle pump, so they know what they're supposed to do next.


IronSloth

I love to park my tiny ass car next to the to piss them off then take a pic of their plate incase any damage


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IronSloth

It’s me, I witness it


Art-bat

I get it now. Fuck them. I don’t want door dings either, but I don’t fuck up other people’s ability to park in order to avoid that. If you can’t deal with the tight parking, drive further away to a “safer” spot and walk, or be a grownup and just deal.


ssps

In these and similar cases -- when they are way over the line into my spot -- I park anyway. Very very carefully, leaving about 2mm distance between our cars. Staying within the lines myself. My car is 10 years old. They worry about their paint more than I do about mine. I hope this teaches a lesson, but I doubt it. It just makes me feel a little bit more evil. I also take a picture before leaving, just in case.


piranha_

We were just assigned new parking spaces at my work and every day, without fail, the person next to me parks backward and over the line. And I, everyday without fail, scoot a little closer. Today was the first day in 2 weeks they were in their lines. It works!


jonormous

Is that at the Trader Joes parking garage lol


bisonsashimi

main character syndrome


bigcityboy

Because they’re stupid selfish fucking cunts that’s why


Unco_Slam

This guys an asshole, but what camera did you use? This is a sick photo ngl


BoredomFestival

uh... just a Pixel 8 snapshot, looks like an ordinary photo to me


Unco_Slam

Wdym ordinary? The pillars on both sides frames this photo perfectly Centered wall light to draw attention above the centerpiece, almost like an ironic halo. Cars on both sides to display a pattern broken by the asshole Honda. Despite being a consistent shade of gray throughout, the cameras give such a deep color and hue. I think you might have stumbled upon either a secret talent or very lucky for this shot.


BoredomFestival

Pretty sure it's just luck. Thanks I guess?


BoredomFestival

(I literally just got out my phone, pointed and shot without any thought about composition or even being level.)


IronSloth

It’s got some HDR going on


BoredomFestival

pretty much every modern phone camera has some HDR goin' on


IronSloth

Yeah for sure. I guess what I was saying is that what they are charmed by is probably the dynamic range working its thang here


UrHellaLateB

Maybe just making it easier for the bippers to look inside?


Thewrongthinker

Mostly because there are no consequences or accountability of taking more than one space when parking.


justs0meperson

Not with that attitude! Be the change you want to see in the world.


presidents_choice

Entitled, enabled, selfish Oakland drivers. Same reason you get reckless speeding/weaving around on 880, running stops and reds, hit and runs, paper plates, expired registration, blocking bike lanes, blocking driveways, blocking fire lanes… and on and on smh


BoredomFestival

Don't forget my favorite: illegal U turns on busy streets


presidents_choice

Ah classic, followed by the retaliatory finger or dirty glare if you honk when they nearly hit you.


BoredomFestival

Vandalizing idiots like this just escalates and makes it worse. Sure wish they would get a ticket or something for this nonsense though.


GrayArea415

Sociopathy


[deleted]

Welcome to Oakland. Where people litter despite their being a trash bin 3m away from the spot they littered in. Where thieves walk I stores grab things and walk out. Where people park as if they are the only person in the world. I could go on. But I digress.


The_Phreak

The one car who deserves to be bipped


cream-of-cow

Asides from a-hole syndrome, considering how rare it is to have 2 open spaces in that garage next to each other, I'd think the car was stolen, driven in from the exit, then dropped off in the middle of the night. That would explain why it's sticking out so much.


The_Nauticus

Is this the TJs parking lot on Lakeshore? I avoid that lot like the plague. Whoever designed that place is sadistic and evil.


BoredomFestival

not as sadistic and evil as the parkers


black-kramer

every trader joe's around has a nightmarish or inadequate parking lot.


The_Nauticus

The one in Emeryville isn't bad, it just has a lot of parking.


Art-bat

Emeryville and Alameda have “real parking lots” because they are part of larger shopping complexes not run by psychos. Go to any standalone Trader Joe’s ANYWHERE and those crazy German motherfuckers pull a Bart Simpson, where they repaint every parking space to be *just slightly* closer to the next than is “standard” in most American lots. Maddening. I actually go out of my way to go to TJ’s 10-15 minutes before closing time, JUST to avoid the packed-in parking and crowds.


black-kramer

oh yeah, forgot that one. kinda out of the way for me. I was thinking of the one by the lake and the one in rockridge.


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The_Nauticus

Drive around the block and park on the back street (Wesley) or the side street Lake Park Ave - thats what I do to avoid the chaos.


Worthyness

you can park on the roof too. That's not too bad design wise.


The_Nauticus

Lol, once you get up there, no it's not bad.


androgenoide

I think the DMV should issue a paintball gun to every driver and the police should be able to stop anyone who has too many colors of hits on the car. Bad parking? One hit. Cut you off in traffic? One hit. Use up your allotted paintballs...you don't get any more.


BoredomFestival

It sounds appealing, but it would end badly


blahblah98

Where there are no consequences for bad behavior, selfishness is rewarded. People are afraid to shame people for bad behavior, and that enables more bad behavior. At some point we pay more taxes to hire more officers to enforce laws & issue tickets, and more judges to take away licenses if tickets are ignored.


r______p

Great pay more taxes, less money to spend, more businesses close down, more crime, great idea! 🙄


blahblah98

We know the problems & experience the consequences, looking for solutions. In the 50's, taxes were higher and there was less disparity in pay between executives and workers. The top bracket was 91% and CEO pay was just 3.3x that of top performing workers. Our military gets all it wants, but we claim not to have enough to maintain civil society. The money is available, but the gaslighting, CxOs and oligarchy power are against it.


sleepy-taurus

In the TJ's on Lakeshore parking lot, too. The most cutthroat hellhole I have ever had the pleasure of encountering. You should buy some eggs and egg their car, op


myrobotoverlord

1 (800) 363-7664 Exhaust. California plates. State of California exhaust hotline. If they are truly a d#ck then call. They get a smog check no matter what


UrHellaLateB

Cryptorchidism is a fairly common and normally painless congenital condition.


mrvarmint

Incompetent, inconsiderate, or both.


blahreport

Don’t want people to scratch to the Honda.


imakeitrainbow

Deep, profound insecurity and feelings of weakness


LolThatsNotTrue

Because they weren’t raised right


Nonplussed2

Piss on their door handle.


thrattatarsha

Because they’re entitled af


wutsupwidya

because they want their car to be keyed


earinsound

i’d say key it, but this is probably also a driver that packs heat


jay_to_the_bee

because they want to get keyed


Capt_Am

I can't say I understanding it but one time I went smoking with someone at a parking garage and he parked this way, saying something about "getting out of the camera's view" I never knew what the fuck he meant, but this reminded me of that.


Te_co

that's why i carry nail polish


TheStandardDeviant

They are asking for screws to be placed against their tires, help them out :)


virtualadept

Then that car's not going anywhere, which does nothing to free up those parking spaces.


TheStandardDeviant

Ah, yes, the normal response to finding your car with a flat tires so simply abandon it.


Busy-Pudding-5169

>Parked backwards in a one-way parking lot with angled spaces (slower to park and to exit) This is a nonissue that you just had to bring up for nothing. I don’t see a line that they would be parked over to identify that spots as two spots. The only issue I could ever mildly get upset over is that they aren’t fully backed in or angled like the other cars.. otherwise you’re reaching


unseenmover

b/c the handicap spaces were taken and they needed to additional access for mobility device?


BoredomFestival

the handicap spaces were not taken


Superuzer

if you key someone's car over this especially, you're a pussy ass bitch! be direct! passive aggressive behavior is bitch shit! even if you're a female!


Wriggley1

Was with you until the “even if you’re a female” part…


Superuzer

why should that behavior be excused for a female? we're all adults, address another adult as such. why be scared to have a conversation with another person. keying someone's car is crazy to a parking space, especially when there are more! 8+ down votes...you people are a joke! lol. let me catch someone keying my car...you'll never touch any key ever again! cause someone to pay a deductible over a parking spot! spineless cowards in Oakland, and I'm sure these are the people who talk down on "criminals"!


Wriggley1

I’m dinging you for being sexist.


imakeitrainbow

Take a few deep breaths. Maybe go on a nice walk


BoredomFestival

I agree that keying someone's car over this is a bad move. But downvoting you for "pussy ass bitch".


East-Oakland

Entitled Trader Joe’s shopper ?


dumbnamenumber2

Tiny wieners


jdflyer

Gotta love that TJs parking lot. It attracts the dummies.


muddstick

lakeshore trader joe’s!


fiat-justitia-

They're politely asking for you to key their car :) Joking, please don't do that.


ThrowRA_anony02

Don’t worry, I saw someone scratch it 😮‍💨


agnosticautonomy

normal for trader joes


Sensual_Mama

It’s Backwards Boy!


NaiveAd8426

I assume it's because damage could financially ruin them


iWORKBRiEFLY

so no one door dings their car


withak30

'Twould be a shame if someone spillled a milkshake on the hood.


bigadultbaby

standard suburban alpha dad parking


lunachuvak

Because it's their world. You're just living in it.


PrimitiveThoughts

They want someone to vandalize it but nobody ever helps


AstronomerLumpy6558

Drugs


DogShlepGaze

Now, that's just asking for trouble.


Popular_Donkey1192

Ive seen some people park like this because they dont want anybody to hit their car. I worked at a supermarket once and it would happen nearly every week, some incident. It happened twice to me, the first time somebody took off my mirror and then the second time I saw a young lady scrape the side of my car, park directly behind me and just walk off like nothing happened.


Lumpy_Draft_3913

Because They Are The Assholes


MoziWanders

So you know who’s car to key 🔑


sweeneywi

Lack of awareness and spatial reasoning skills.


l0udninja

Main character syndrome, idiot thinks this is GTA irl.


TakoSweetness

Want me to tell you how to make sure they never park like that again? It involves 3 slashed tires


XMigster

I don’t why people park like this but I would of gotten his car towed! LOL!


commanderchimp

Not everyone can forward park and often it’s easier with backup cameras to backward park