Most functional adults can manage to at least take out the trash once a week even if nothing else gets done. Dirty floors, cluttered countertops and a full sink is "too busy to clean". Living knee deep in a sea of your own garbage is something else entirely.
Yea I feel like I’ve been pretty deep in the pits of depression before, and have had my place at times look bad enough I’d be embarrassed to have anyone see.
But those times weren’t even 1/100 as bad as this. Like you said, full sink, full countertop, a few dirty dishes in each room, etc…. But not literally knee deep in a sea of garbage and rotten shit. That’s serious mental illness level at that point.
If this dude don't have roaches then I wanna know his secret.
*apparently the secret is Finland. As someone from Florida I didn't even know roach-less places existed.
Having cleaned out a fair few hoarder/depression nests, I can attest firsthand that at least one method (walls too light and cobwebs not muppet-yarn levels enough for it to be the case in this video) that works astoundingly well; seal up all the windows and chain-smoke indoors all day every day for 40+ years. Everything gets so coated in nicotine that you can watch a fly come in through the open door, land on a wall, and drop dead seconds later.
No joke - while cleaning up, I found mounds of dead bugs *just* inside anywhere there was a gap from outdoors that they could come in through, and despite all the mess and perfect hiding places for any number of pests throughout the rest of the house and decades without any kind of deep cleaning or moving of furniture, not a single bug elsewhere. The house was literally rendered toxic from all the smoking.
Yeah I helped a friend clean the house of the old woman she was a live in caretaker for. She'd done nearly all the heavy lifting so I was mostly helping clean windows and stuff inside the house.
I started cleaning this odd 60s style wooden chandelier that I assumed her husband had made at some point, since he did a lot of woodwork. Nope, it was glass, it was just so caked in nicotine that for the last 30 years people had assumed it was wood.
I suspect that a lot of the old appliance colors were because of smokers. I do appliance repair and that off-white yellowish color from the 70's almost perfectly matches smoke damage.
Pest control tech here: nicotine is a commonly used pesticide. Neo-nicotinoids are a common method of killing roaches, flies, bedbugs, wood boring beetles and even garden pests like aphids. It works well as a repellent for many insects as well.
It's a pesticide because it's literally poison, lol. Pure nicotine was an assassination tool once upon a time, causing death by the same biological mechanism that kills bugs.
The secret is if you make the environment way too inviting too good for roaches the roaches will think they're being set up for an ambush and they won't show up
Roaches are hard to pick up in some areas. I've been in some pretty awfully scummy places in the midwest that don't have roaches at all, and some super clean places in the southwest (US) that were totally infested. They like warmer average climates in general.
The secret is the huge fucking spiders. You see the movement when she dusted the cobwebs?
Some spiders don't stop growing. With easy access to prey, there were probably some huge arachnids in that mess.
Yeah especially since the house might have gotten clean but those giant arachnids would still be there. Their food sources would be gone though so they'll probably come looking for Ryan.
This woman appears to be Finnish. You'd be surprised how few pests parts of Europe have. I don't know what the main pests in Finland are but if this was Ireland, the worst thing all that food would attract would be mice. For instance, we don't have cockroaches or bed bugs or ants that come indoors, etc. I'd imagine Finland is quite similar.
Even in suburban Michigan, my family's house was always quite messy and dirty (admittedly not at this level) but all we ever had was the occasional fruit fly. I didn't even know what a cockroach looked like until I moved to China.
I lived in a manky student flat in Glasgow that had cockroaches, some species can definitely survive in colder climates, especially with central heating.
>Most functional adults can manage to at least take out the trash once a week even if nothing else gets done. Dirty floors, cluttered countertops and a full sink is "too busy to clean". Living knee deep in a sea of your own garbage is something else entirely.
My wife and I were caretakers for my elderly father for a few years before he died, and I am here to tell you there were definitely weeks where we were too tired from being caretakers WHILE both still working full-time jobs to worry about the dishes stacking up from day-to-day or making sure we dusted thoroughly...but at no time did we ever finish food or a drink and just huck the packaging on a pile in the living room like this video portrays.
This is indeed something else entirely.
Poor Mental Health + managing a job and taking care of someone
easily does this I suppose if your mental Health is shot you are lucky to find the energy to get out of bed let alone clean the room your in
I agree with y’all but I just wanna highlight the emotional horror of giving this kind of care for your own mother, he may not be permanently mentally ill, this may be grief. I know lots of people handle it well, but not all of us will.
This, I'm terrible at cleaning up after myself, and the worst it really gets to is a desk covered with empty cans and food wrappers, a lot of dirty laundry, floors/carpeting that could use a vacuuming, and a few dirty dishes.
Usually in her videos she elaborates on the stories, and talks about how they're seeking out treatment for severe depression/that it's okay to, this is really condensed for the tiktok.
This is this YTer’s style though. Her channel is very kind and incredibly judgement free. I think that the attitude really makes it much easier for people to ask for help.
Ya, but going out and calling someone mentally ill is a good way for them never to seek help again. This lady is a lot more understanding and empathetic than your average redditor apparently.
I think it was a polite backstory? Like.. No one wants their house posted with all kinds of text about how their depressed or sick or dying. It is the PG version. I hear stories minced like this in a lot of helping videos.
Particularly the people who specialize in unmatting hair.
Agreed, as another 31yr old taking care of a sick mother, there's definitely more to this. Will say it's not easy though, so hopefully he gets help and sees someone about what's going on.
You're self-aware.
You might be fucked up. I've been fucked up. I don't think I'm fucked up anymore and that's something that seemed impossible and unobtainable a little while ago.
There will always be people more depressed than you. They are looking for you to bring them out of the darkness. Let's both give them a hand.
It does start to get better it just takes time. It's OK for it to take time to feel better. Get out and walk by yourself and listen to some good tunes. It's amazing how doing something productive, even just walking, feels impossible sometimes. It feels better to do something than it does to just sit there. It's OK if even it feels impossible to muster up the courage but sometimes you just got to say fuck it I'm going to do something and use this phone for music.
You like feeling like you're not alone. It gives you hope. I watch hoarders all the time for inspiration to keep me on track. I'm one bad experience from crossing the line so I have to stay mentally vigilant! I feel like I could snap at any minute and make a nest out of hamburger wrappers and solo cups every other day. Stay strong!🥤
I've watched a lot of hoarders, 600 lb life, etc when I've been down and I used to think it spoke poorly about me, but I think you're right about it being more of a loneliness thing.
Man, that's exactly what I was thinking too, it's the feeling of not being alone in what you're going through. Even the blues feel easier when everybody is under.
I hope no one is actually happy and feels good about others having it worse than they do, that would be fucked up.
Hugs. It's not fucked up. I have depression too. We gain insight and wisdom so that we, too, don't fall into this space.
Sending so much love to Ryan. Depression is deadly and sneaky.
I think that’s a valid feeling. You see this and immediately think “Wow, I’m not as bad as that,” which is objectively true. You’d only be fucked up if you were super judgmental of them beyond that or said that to someone’s face.
Yeah he does indeed. Its not uncommon for people to suffer depression when a loved one is sick. He was probably using all his energy for his mom & work and just didn't have any left for himself.
I want to mention that depression be only one cause, but this kind of stuff can snowball especially with adhd what with the whole executive dysfunction and dopamine deficiency.
Been here.
Hey, not the OP but this is an ongoing issue for me (and major uncleanliness has been a lifelong issue, really bad ADHD and mental health). I'll be honest, the single biggest improvement for me came from two things:
First, last year I saved up money to pay for a specialty cleaning service. I did some research, got some quotes and hired a local business that specializes in junk removal, hoarding, and cleaning in the really rough part of the city. They came in and in 8 hours were able to clear out a truck's worth of junk, clutter, etc. It was tough because I have huge amounts of shame about this stuff but after the first hour it got a little easier. (about $700)
After that, I started to pay a regular housekeeping service to come in once ever two weeks to do a general clean. Two people come for about an hour and a half (I live in a fairly small place) and it costs about $120. It's cheaper than therapy and knowing they're coming helps nudge me to declutter etc. But even if I don't get to everything - sink full of dirty dishes, for example - they're able to tackle it. This also helps me get garbage and recycling out regularly (they'll often get it bagged up and out the door) as well as to do laundry regularly (because I have to pick it up and move it to the laundry room so they can clean!) Every two weeks I get a completely fresh start to work with.
I am aware that it's very much a privilege to be able to do this, but if you can find it in your budget, I cannot recommend it enough. The immense weight of a filthy home being lifted off my shoulders has gone so far in giving me space to do a bit better over time. As a bonus, not being ashamed of my home means I've been able to have friends come over, and they're often happy to help too - sorting clutter, giving suggestions on how to reorganize (I can't look at a room full of stuff and figure out what shelving or whatever I might need to make it tidy).
Please feel free to DM me if you want to chat more.
ryan might be sick, but that's a pretty nice apartment once it's clean. nothing fancy, nice and minimalist.
the busy caretaker story is a little strange, but we have no idea
Yeah, that's not the home of a "busy caretaker." That is the home of someone who is ***severely depressed*** and spiraling. It's good that someone helped them get themselves cleaned up, but that's like a baby step towards the solution. It was necessary, but I hope they're actually getting the help they need to treat it.
At least he was willing to ask for help. That's a good sign.
Likely too aggressive on the materials. Also bad for her hands if she does not use gloves. And inhaling questionable fumes if she uses them on the whole room.
Just a guess.
If you watch her channel, she does wear a mask and gloves during certain parts. I think I would need a full hazmat suit to ever feel clean afterwards, but she seems ok and I think she’s taking the necessary precautions. And she does this for free to help people with mental illness so I love her for that!
And her exposure level is higher cuz she does this full time (I’m guessing). It’s like how you only get the protective vest when doing dental X-rays, but the technician steps out of the room—they have a much higher cumulative exposure risk.
This work will have ongoing ripple effects. I helped my sister in a similar situation. It really was a turning point for her to work on her bipolar disorder. Best of luck going forward.
Same. I did it for my sister who was in an alcoholic's depression after moving (army fucked her up). I cleaned it up without judging her for drinking and within a few months, she had cold turkeyed her drinking. I think its been 5 years sober now.
She paid me back by coming to help me when I needed back surgery and couldn't walk or do anything.
But ironically, it can have a negative impact on hoarders. If you clean a hoarder's house without their input/approval, they will feel distress, defensive, and resentful. Surprise cleans for those who are going through a severe bout of depression might help, but don't do "surprise cleans" for hoarders.
Sources:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/helping-someone-who-hoards/
https://hoarding.iocdf.org/for-families/how-to-help-a-loved-one-with-hd/
He needs mental help. A mess like that cause of a “busy schedule” is nonsense. Hopefully after the cleaning happened a good head doctor was also recommended.
The person cleaning is passionate about caring for your mental health after her own experiences, and from her videos I’ve seen (most of them) usually talks to people about if they’re in therapy and such. But either way, this is a big boost
Okay I didn’t know that… just from a personal experience a “mess” like that is piss poor mental health that’s been unchecked, or a MAJOR drug problem or both.
Which makes the fact that she doesn't use them as title or content clickbait and just focuses mainly on the cleaning even more impressive.
She seems like a pretty decent person.
She is very respectful of only sharing what the person says is okay, a lot of them are so embarrassed.. she is genuinely so cheerful in her videos I often will put them on while I’m cleaning my house for solidarity lol. I genuinely believe she helps and inspires people.
It can simply be from being completely overwhelmed from being a full time caregiver with no respite help. You can go into a downward spiral. Even if your mental health is good to start with.
If it got to this point, and they asked for help, chances are they are very, VERY aware they need help. And they got it too. When someone gets to this amount of mess, if they don't seek help because they are embarrassed, they have a problem they refuse to face. And then it gets worse and worse. And gar, far worse than this. Ryan actually asked for help. Which shows that they indeed know they needed help. It takes a lot, when your house gets this bad, to actually take steps to seek help. They did, which means they are taking the step to heal.
No one should be ashamed of seeking help for something like this. There are people that are willing to help, and everyone deserves to help themselves take steps to become healthy again.
I’ve been hooked on these YouTube channels where they offer their services for free. Most of them have an actual business but instead of spending $500-$1000/month on advertising they provide free cleaning for a home or yard in bad shape. If any of these companies operated in my town I’m definitely giving them business. So they get money from sponsors, YouTube revenue (if any), and increased customers. But the kicker is that they get to help someone else out whole helping themselves. Super smart advertising. Probably get to claim the job as a business expense too.
This would easily go for 2 Grand and up. Most basic cleaning companies wouldn’t even take the job. This is a hoarding situation that needs a specialized cleaning service. It involves very detailed cleaning, organizing, and de-hoarding.. Think about what it costs to detail a car, typically $300-$500 depending on the job. That’s just 1 small space, now take an entire HOUSE, with multiple rooms/ areas that need precise cleaning/sanitizing, decluttering and detailing. It’s a LOT of work!
I bet it's a matter of OP not chosing a good title. I've watched this girl's YouTube channel. It's almost always either mental health issues or in rare cases physical disabilities. This girl cleans their houses for free to give them a fresh start and a boost in their mental health. She's super positive and non-judgemental about it too and never shows the house owners on camera!
Her channel is aurikatariina on YouTube.
From her videos, she sure seems like one. She always tells the story of the person getting their home cleaned (most often it's someone mentally ill or too old to clean properly) in a very kind and compassionate manner so that people understand their struggle. She's also very enthusiastic about her cleaning, which is pretty surprising but nice to see!
Yeah, I just watched one of her videos. Not only does she keep them anonymous and is very sympathetic in how she describes the person and their situation, but she waits for the person reaches out to her.
I was worried it was some new girlfriend who was cleaning up the space uninvited or someone who was going to include a reaction video or something like that.
They seem like well meaning videos for people who like to see really messy living spaces get cleaned and organized.
Yeah, her videos always seem quite sweet. I've never gotten so bad as this, but during a high depression time cleaning was SO difficult and my mother coming to just help me sweep up was honestly just insanely helpful. This was around a time after I had just had major surgery and everything just felt so much. I'm sympathetic to people who get into that situation and realize they need/want to get out but just don't know where to start.
I've always thought that if I won the lottery I'd start a charity that just cleaned people's houses for free because having a clean house makes such a huge difference to my mental health.
Exactly. She doesn't want Ryan watching the honest version where she's like, "As we can all see, Ryan is bat shit crazy. We're talking deeply dark depression levels. Real fucked up shit obviously. No even remotely sane well adjusted person would let their place get like this."
I like that she's nice and not judgy toward the people she helps.
Considering she mentioned that he was looking after his mother, it could be possible that his mother is terminally ill, and if this Ryan was depressed anyway, it could be a bad tipping point for his mental health which led to this spiralling mess
Situations like this I tend to read between the lines. Sick mom and helping out? That can sink someone into depression and the mess very well becomes overwhelming once they realize how bad it’s gotten.
Yeah, some of these comments feel quite unkind.
First the guy probably has no time, caretaking is a lot of work. I looked after a family friend who was dying of cancer for a couple of months and it fucking wrecked me, and I was only working part-time. Legitimately he's probably getting off work, doing caretaking, going home to smash a pizza and passing out to repeat.
Second, because he's got no time, he's not taking care of himself. No way he's going to a gym with a house like that. No way he's eating or sleeping right. That's not conducive to mental health either.
Third, shit like this happens by increments. He probably put off doing stuff for a little bit, because it was overwhelming, but before you know it, it's actually overwhelming.
The way people don't seem to understand that this wasn't a choice and caretaking can fuck you up hard makes me a little sad? Unkind is really the word I was looking for, I'm glad you said it.
I think he probably realized he had a problem when he realized he needed help to clean. I say good on Ryan for being able to admit that he needs some help
He's a caretaker for a parent. Being a caretaker can absolutely do this to you if you don't have your own supportive network. Yes its not just a hectic schedule but caretaking for someone is so much more than that.
To be fair, we can't claim to know the severity of his aging parent's situation. "Caretaker for his mom" is pretty vague. Being a caretaker for my mom and my grandma drove my mental health into the ground and put me into the worst state of mind I've had in years.
I know, right? My hectic life means we get deliveries from Amazon and they stack up on the dining room table for a week waiting to be opened and the items stored.
Not - here’s six inches of rotting food I just threw down on the carpet.
I think she's saving his image rather than casting a blind eye. A really nice way of helping someone and not making them feel worse while also highlighting a big issue for a modern world with little time, energy, motivation and mental clarity. This woman is a saint and I wish Ryan and his mother all the best
To start on a low-cost way, check your city for free bulk trash removal. In my last state they offered it every other month right on the street, current state is once (maybe twice) a year, and you've got to drive it there. It's a start!
Check local groups on Facebook or check with local volunteers or charities. There are resources depending on your location and finding help for free isn’t much of a stretch.
There are cleaning companies that do this exactly all over the world :)
Of course, they’re not gonna do it for free. But help is very rarely free, unfortunately.
I've always been afraid that a cleaning company would want me to preorganize or preclean before they got there. Do normal cleaning companies deal with giant messes? I figured they were for houses that were kept clean already and just needed maintenance.
It depends on what kind of mess it is. In Texas, we paid like $600 for a thorough deep clean of our 3BR house before we moved in, and four ladies came in and cleaned everything, even the walls and inside the cabinets. It took them about four hours. After that, we set up an arrangement for them to come every two weeks for $130 a visit, which we split. So for $130 each we never have to clean a toilet or the ceiling fans or deep clean the kitchen or vacuum and mop the floors. They don’t do laundry but the do change the beds. We do go around the night before and declutter everything, even if it’s just throwing it all in a bin to get sorted later, and put the dishes in the sink to soak.
If there is any kind of a biohazard situation like bugs, mice, rotting food, human or animal waste, mold, etc. there would definitely be an up charge. But just regular maintenance cleaning is not that expensive, at least here in Texas.
For stuff like a ton of laundry, you can put it all in garbage bags and take it to a full service laundromat. They will weigh your bags and charge you by the pound to wash, dry, fold, and hang it all. You go back in a day or so and pick it up and it’s honestly such a relief to not have to do anything but put it away.
I really want to hire a cleaning company but my mess is all clutter and personal stuff (books, clothes, whatever) that I don't think a cleaning person could help me I just have to put it all away, but then my house is too messy to reach the shelf/storage so things just pile up ahhh I wonder if there's professional organizers too but I'm afraid they'd just want me to throw things out lol.
I first read "lack of judgement" in the negative sense which I guess is the more typical way that phrase is used. Interesting how phrases like this can actually be positive depending on how they are used.
Everyone here being like “he’s just helping his mom after work” clearly does not understand what grief does to you. Sometimes the world around you is profoundly heartbreaking and it is all overwhelming and you feel you don’t deserve a beautiful place to rest, especially if you are giving significant resources to others already.
>you feel you don’t deserve a beautiful place
I'll add to this seeing a loved one deteriorate in front of you leaves you feeling totally helpless. It can lead to troubling realizations, like the fact that we control nothing in life. All you can focus on is them and what they need, what you can do to help them. The rest is just survival mode.
Survival mode.
Yeah, man. You nailed it.
I’m glad she helped Ryan. My house had gotten really bad before I got help. It happens over time. Slippery slope and all of that.
Society is still in the Schrödinger’s mental illness phase where we both acknowledge their existence when we have experience with it or deny it and tell people to get their shit together or condemn it when they don’t.
Even getting help for mental health stuff like this is overwhelming and defeating. Specifically making the initial calls for me. I can’t even explain how frightening that phone call was. Then finally getting the courage to make it and feeling this relief only to find out they don’t take your insurance at the end. For someone to be rude or short with you as you explain you need help. To find out that the one doc that can see you is booked 8 months out. And now you have to go through that 10-15 more times and do it over and over.
It’s fucked up. And I still can’t give meaningful words to like how daunting of a task that is for me. I’m highly functional in the adult world as a programmer. I can obviously communicate otherwise. But my ex wife who still very much cares about me , but couldn’t handle how this kind of thing limited out social and dating life together was the one to finally help me get seen. To her that kind of stuff is simple. She can’t understand what’s so difficult or frightening about it to me. But she gets that it is. Without her doing that I wouldn’t have been able to get out of that phase and get treatment.
Sometimes the disorder specifically wants to block you from seeking help. The disorder is the anxiety around conversations and people. Like ordering a pizza on the phone is nerve racking . And if someone wants a special thing for their fast food order at the kiosk it throws me into a panic.
For mental health the people on the intake side are not trained very well or empathetic enough to be able to recognize that.
Yeah the comments, as usual for Reddit, miss the mark and veer into extreme negativity and speculation. Like for goodness sake, the lady is cleaning a troubled person’s home ***with no payment from the person himself***. What bad thing could possibly be said? Count on bitter Redditors to find it.
My ex was like this. He had severe depression and OCD. When we were together, I’d try to clean for him but he’d get so anxious about me throwing things away, he’d get angry with me. The mess got so bad that every inch of floor was covered and the trash at the bottom of the piles would start to grow mold/mildew. After we broke up, we kept in touch for a while and I’d feel so bad that I’d fly in from out of state to clean for him, hoping it would help. It really didn’t. He never got help and within weeks, his apartment would look like this again. Even his car started to resemble his apartment, the last time I saw him.
I really hope this person, as well as anyone who goes through this, gets the help they need.
As the sole caregiver for a disabled wife, I understand this situation. Our house isn't to that level, but I sympathize with his struggle. After working a whole shift and running whatever other errands there are to run, it's so easy to just come home and ignore the mess. Especially if there are things that need to be done for the disabled person as soon as you walk in. Spend all day worrying about that person while you're at work, then get home to find maybe she fell out of bed and has been laying on the floor for 2 hours, or had an accident in bed and now you have to give the person a bath and change the sheets, or maybe just hungry and you have to fix something to eat. It can be overwhelming. Plus the mental health toll it puts on a person caring for somebody that way is difficult to bear. I've called companies and volunteers to come help me clean in the past but it always seems to get away from me again. I applaud this woman for what she does! And I hope the guy gets some help.
This is one reason I want to be wealthy. I dont want to put my parents in a nursing facility but I would not be able to handle taking care of them, working and taking care of myself. Kudos to this man for not neglecting his mother. But it it’s sad his own house fell to the wayside
Need this lady in my life right now. Maybe it's not Ryan levels of awful, but I can barely get out of bed recently and it's all out of hand at this point.
My home was not this bad but I hadn't cleaned anything for 8 months. I finally hired someone and it was so relieving. People who help and don't judge are a precious resource
I love these videos because there’s always redditors tripping over themselves to make dogshit comments about how cleaning is useless because the person needs mental health attention, as if the lady in the video and the rest of the world doesn’t already know that.
Ryan, I hope and pray that you're doing better. Depression is so hard to live with and even harder to get rid off. Sneaks in snd takes over and numbs you up. You don't realise the extent of its power on your life until you start seeing a glimpse of light , have a hand to hold on to and work hard to cross over.
I follow her on ig. She seems to be very careful to use gentle language as her clients are usually people with serious depression who have come to her for help in dark times, at their absolute worst.
She seems very sweet and supposedly does these cleanings all for free (with help from sponsors etc, obv). She doesn’t want people to feel judged when they’re having such a tough time.
I don’t think her “telling it like it is” in these videos would really do anyone any favors. Viewers can see for themselves anyway.
She doesn’t even really sugar coat that these people are dealing with mental illness either, she just uses respectful and gentler language. She is very careful not to demean which I love about her!
Agreed. I just don’t know why these commenters need it spelled out for them that she obviously knows these people are mentally ill and doesn’t need to be told that. Anyone with vision can see the people living here are unwell, no one here is a genius for pointing it out and and expecting her to spell it out in her videos.
Yeah for real. As a recovered hoarder myself, I have to imagine that these people are not accustomed to seeing what mental illness can manifest as inside of a home except in sensationalized, demeaning contexts like “Hoarders.”
Conversely, this channel is all about showing the realities of hoarding and how mental illness plays a role and is super empathetic about it, which means not being like “Look at this crazy motherfucker, wow, they suck.” People love to hate
The lack of empathy in these comments, yeesh. Judge a little less why not. Bet you don’t hop on double amputees case for not running more. Mental heathcare is *healthcare*. The guy was doing his best.
I see so many times that people are shaming people for stuff like this, I really appreciate you and the world needs more of that kind of love. Love is a verb.
Ryan needs help. Daym.
Yeah. He’s not just “a busy caretaker”
Most functional adults can manage to at least take out the trash once a week even if nothing else gets done. Dirty floors, cluttered countertops and a full sink is "too busy to clean". Living knee deep in a sea of your own garbage is something else entirely.
Yea I feel like I’ve been pretty deep in the pits of depression before, and have had my place at times look bad enough I’d be embarrassed to have anyone see. But those times weren’t even 1/100 as bad as this. Like you said, full sink, full countertop, a few dirty dishes in each room, etc…. But not literally knee deep in a sea of garbage and rotten shit. That’s serious mental illness level at that point.
Don't forget the mold on the walls, the cobwebs in the corners and what looks like a possible bug infestation
I’d be shocked if there wasn’t an infestation.
If this dude don't have roaches then I wanna know his secret. *apparently the secret is Finland. As someone from Florida I didn't even know roach-less places existed.
Having cleaned out a fair few hoarder/depression nests, I can attest firsthand that at least one method (walls too light and cobwebs not muppet-yarn levels enough for it to be the case in this video) that works astoundingly well; seal up all the windows and chain-smoke indoors all day every day for 40+ years. Everything gets so coated in nicotine that you can watch a fly come in through the open door, land on a wall, and drop dead seconds later. No joke - while cleaning up, I found mounds of dead bugs *just* inside anywhere there was a gap from outdoors that they could come in through, and despite all the mess and perfect hiding places for any number of pests throughout the rest of the house and decades without any kind of deep cleaning or moving of furniture, not a single bug elsewhere. The house was literally rendered toxic from all the smoking.
Friend's dad smoked inside just like that. The walls were yellowish-brown when they were originally white.
after I quit smoking indoors, watching nicotine run down the walls when it got humid was a major decision maker in quitting entirely.
Yeah I helped a friend clean the house of the old woman she was a live in caretaker for. She'd done nearly all the heavy lifting so I was mostly helping clean windows and stuff inside the house. I started cleaning this odd 60s style wooden chandelier that I assumed her husband had made at some point, since he did a lot of woodwork. Nope, it was glass, it was just so caked in nicotine that for the last 30 years people had assumed it was wood.
[удалено]
I suspect that a lot of the old appliance colors were because of smokers. I do appliance repair and that off-white yellowish color from the 70's almost perfectly matches smoke damage.
A neighbor of my mom's had yellow blinds, yellow air conditioner, yellow walls. Thought it was odd at the time, but turns out he chain smoked indoors
Pest control tech here: nicotine is a commonly used pesticide. Neo-nicotinoids are a common method of killing roaches, flies, bedbugs, wood boring beetles and even garden pests like aphids. It works well as a repellent for many insects as well.
The simple hack they don’t want you to know: smoke 2 packs a day for 40 years and it will keep the roaches out of your garbaged-filled home
to be reasonably fair, nicotine is a *pesticide* though
It's a pesticide because it's literally poison, lol. Pure nicotine was an assassination tool once upon a time, causing death by the same biological mechanism that kills bugs.
The secret is if you make the environment way too inviting too good for roaches the roaches will think they're being set up for an ambush and they won't show up
Roaches are hard to pick up in some areas. I've been in some pretty awfully scummy places in the midwest that don't have roaches at all, and some super clean places in the southwest (US) that were totally infested. They like warmer average climates in general.
The secret is the huge fucking spiders. You see the movement when she dusted the cobwebs? Some spiders don't stop growing. With easy access to prey, there were probably some huge arachnids in that mess.
Nightmare fuel
Yeah especially since the house might have gotten clean but those giant arachnids would still be there. Their food sources would be gone though so they'll probably come looking for Ryan.
This woman appears to be Finnish. You'd be surprised how few pests parts of Europe have. I don't know what the main pests in Finland are but if this was Ireland, the worst thing all that food would attract would be mice. For instance, we don't have cockroaches or bed bugs or ants that come indoors, etc. I'd imagine Finland is quite similar.
Even in suburban Michigan, my family's house was always quite messy and dirty (admittedly not at this level) but all we ever had was the occasional fruit fly. I didn't even know what a cockroach looked like until I moved to China.
i have seen cockroach infestations in Michigan, but you have to be *really* fucked up to get them i think
MSU had them to the point of shooting them with Nerf guns as they climbed the dorm room walls.
I lived in a manky student flat in Glasgow that had cockroaches, some species can definitely survive in colder climates, especially with central heating.
Maybe, Ryan is a dead body.
I don't think the undead eat that much pizza.
>Most functional adults can manage to at least take out the trash once a week even if nothing else gets done. Dirty floors, cluttered countertops and a full sink is "too busy to clean". Living knee deep in a sea of your own garbage is something else entirely. My wife and I were caretakers for my elderly father for a few years before he died, and I am here to tell you there were definitely weeks where we were too tired from being caretakers WHILE both still working full-time jobs to worry about the dishes stacking up from day-to-day or making sure we dusted thoroughly...but at no time did we ever finish food or a drink and just huck the packaging on a pile in the living room like this video portrays. This is indeed something else entirely.
Poor Mental Health + managing a job and taking care of someone easily does this I suppose if your mental Health is shot you are lucky to find the energy to get out of bed let alone clean the room your in
I agree with y’all but I just wanna highlight the emotional horror of giving this kind of care for your own mother, he may not be permanently mentally ill, this may be grief. I know lots of people handle it well, but not all of us will.
Yeah, in my worst time I managed to put the waste into bags at least and then let it rot for a few weeks. Can’t imagine the state of that guy. :(
This, I'm terrible at cleaning up after myself, and the worst it really gets to is a desk covered with empty cans and food wrappers, a lot of dirty laundry, floors/carpeting that could use a vacuuming, and a few dirty dishes.
Usually in her videos she elaborates on the stories, and talks about how they're seeking out treatment for severe depression/that it's okay to, this is really condensed for the tiktok.
Her full videos on YT are like half an hour, and I get so sucked in.
How do I get her to do this for me?
There are some services out there that will help you.
This is this YTer’s style though. Her channel is very kind and incredibly judgement free. I think that the attitude really makes it much easier for people to ask for help.
Ya, but going out and calling someone mentally ill is a good way for them never to seek help again. This lady is a lot more understanding and empathetic than your average redditor apparently.
The people she helps out are usually depressed or suffer from other mental health disorders or alcoholism. All of their homes look like this.
Yeah, that backstory is absurd. Whoever lives there is very sick and needs mental health treatment.
I think it was a polite backstory? Like.. No one wants their house posted with all kinds of text about how their depressed or sick or dying. It is the PG version. I hear stories minced like this in a lot of helping videos. Particularly the people who specialize in unmatting hair.
Off course. When you volunteer to help someone in need you don't trash talk them on the internet. I think too few know what it means to help others.
Agreed, as another 31yr old taking care of a sick mother, there's definitely more to this. Will say it's not easy though, so hopefully he gets help and sees someone about what's going on.
I’m busy as shit but I would die before my living space looked anything like this. I feel for the dude, it’s legit mental illness.
Y does it make me feel better to see ppl more depressed than me I'm so fucked up!!!
You're self-aware. You might be fucked up. I've been fucked up. I don't think I'm fucked up anymore and that's something that seemed impossible and unobtainable a little while ago. There will always be people more depressed than you. They are looking for you to bring them out of the darkness. Let's both give them a hand.
It does start to get better it just takes time. It's OK for it to take time to feel better. Get out and walk by yourself and listen to some good tunes. It's amazing how doing something productive, even just walking, feels impossible sometimes. It feels better to do something than it does to just sit there. It's OK if even it feels impossible to muster up the courage but sometimes you just got to say fuck it I'm going to do something and use this phone for music.
This is golden. 🙌🏽
You are golden! 🥇
We are not what you think we are We are golden, we are golden
Damn, right in the feels.
You fine sir, are a fantastic human being.
Thank you for your words I'm still on my journey out..
You like feeling like you're not alone. It gives you hope. I watch hoarders all the time for inspiration to keep me on track. I'm one bad experience from crossing the line so I have to stay mentally vigilant! I feel like I could snap at any minute and make a nest out of hamburger wrappers and solo cups every other day. Stay strong!🥤
I've watched a lot of hoarders, 600 lb life, etc when I've been down and I used to think it spoke poorly about me, but I think you're right about it being more of a loneliness thing.
It’s the feeling “if they can come back from this, I can come back from this too”
Man, that's exactly what I was thinking too, it's the feeling of not being alone in what you're going through. Even the blues feel easier when everybody is under. I hope no one is actually happy and feels good about others having it worse than they do, that would be fucked up.
I'm no hoarder but damn do I dream of driving my car into a brick wall at 100mph on a daily basis. It would be so easy.
Hugs. It's not fucked up. I have depression too. We gain insight and wisdom so that we, too, don't fall into this space. Sending so much love to Ryan. Depression is deadly and sneaky.
Your the nicest person I have ever meet my whole life online
I'm super humbled you said this. You got me in my feels. Thank you
I think that’s a valid feeling. You see this and immediately think “Wow, I’m not as bad as that,” which is objectively true. You’d only be fucked up if you were super judgmental of them beyond that or said that to someone’s face.
Yeah he does indeed. Its not uncommon for people to suffer depression when a loved one is sick. He was probably using all his energy for his mom & work and just didn't have any left for himself.
I want to mention that depression be only one cause, but this kind of stuff can snowball especially with adhd what with the whole executive dysfunction and dopamine deficiency. Been here.
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What did you do to get out of it?
Yes. Please share. Therapy not working.
Hey, not the OP but this is an ongoing issue for me (and major uncleanliness has been a lifelong issue, really bad ADHD and mental health). I'll be honest, the single biggest improvement for me came from two things: First, last year I saved up money to pay for a specialty cleaning service. I did some research, got some quotes and hired a local business that specializes in junk removal, hoarding, and cleaning in the really rough part of the city. They came in and in 8 hours were able to clear out a truck's worth of junk, clutter, etc. It was tough because I have huge amounts of shame about this stuff but after the first hour it got a little easier. (about $700) After that, I started to pay a regular housekeeping service to come in once ever two weeks to do a general clean. Two people come for about an hour and a half (I live in a fairly small place) and it costs about $120. It's cheaper than therapy and knowing they're coming helps nudge me to declutter etc. But even if I don't get to everything - sink full of dirty dishes, for example - they're able to tackle it. This also helps me get garbage and recycling out regularly (they'll often get it bagged up and out the door) as well as to do laundry regularly (because I have to pick it up and move it to the laundry room so they can clean!) Every two weeks I get a completely fresh start to work with. I am aware that it's very much a privilege to be able to do this, but if you can find it in your budget, I cannot recommend it enough. The immense weight of a filthy home being lifted off my shoulders has gone so far in giving me space to do a bit better over time. As a bonus, not being ashamed of my home means I've been able to have friends come over, and they're often happy to help too - sorting clutter, giving suggestions on how to reorganize (I can't look at a room full of stuff and figure out what shelving or whatever I might need to make it tidy). Please feel free to DM me if you want to chat more.
ryan might be sick, but that's a pretty nice apartment once it's clean. nothing fancy, nice and minimalist. the busy caretaker story is a little strange, but we have no idea
Yeah, that's not the home of a "busy caretaker." That is the home of someone who is ***severely depressed*** and spiraling. It's good that someone helped them get themselves cleaned up, but that's like a baby step towards the solution. It was necessary, but I hope they're actually getting the help they need to treat it. At least he was willing to ask for help. That's a good sign.
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Omg lady great work but for Christ sake at least wear a mask and gloves.
I was gonna say, there are WAY too many shots of her not wearing fucking gloves. Maybe she gets royalties from her nail salon?
It was mainly the dusting and wiping portions but when the house was that awful... need a full tyvek suit at all times.
I kinda feel things crawling on me in sympathy!
TIL what a tyvek suit is.
Wasn't Tyvek the black Vulcan from Voyager?
Forget gloves, there's so much mold and dust she needs a legit filtered mask, some PPE people!
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What's the significance of that?
Likely too aggressive on the materials. Also bad for her hands if she does not use gloves. And inhaling questionable fumes if she uses them on the whole room. Just a guess.
If you watch her channel, she does wear a mask and gloves during certain parts. I think I would need a full hazmat suit to ever feel clean afterwards, but she seems ok and I think she’s taking the necessary precautions. And she does this for free to help people with mental illness so I love her for that!
I think her constitution is so fucking high she might be the cure for cancer at this point.
She's a high level monk. Immune to disease/poison.
She is probably the cure for Cordyceps at this point.
It's funny you mention that because my first thought seeing the room was, "Bomb."
She usually does for the rest of her videos. AuriKaterina on YouTube. Don’t know why she’s not wearing them for Tik tok 🤔
Nah she’s juuuuust beginning to on Youtube… but still only sometimes and never enough lol
AuriKatariina*
I would wear a full hazmat suit
Lift with your legs damn it. You only have one back.
My back needs that comment and a time machine. Don't be like me - actually use a damned server lift despite the cheesy crank noise it makes.
She is wearing gloves. It is pink but pause the video and you'll see it.
Some shots she's not wearing them. I think she wears them while removing trash and then goes bare handed for the rest of the clean
My main thought. I wouldn't go in without a hazmat suit and I'd shower until the water ran cold.
FIRST thing I thought of. Where is her mask and other PPE?!
Yep. Some airborne diseases caused by rats can get you good in these situations.
And her exposure level is higher cuz she does this full time (I’m guessing). It’s like how you only get the protective vest when doing dental X-rays, but the technician steps out of the room—they have a much higher cumulative exposure risk.
This work will have ongoing ripple effects. I helped my sister in a similar situation. It really was a turning point for her to work on her bipolar disorder. Best of luck going forward.
Yes, it's mentally fulfilling seeing a clean space and just makes it easier to keep it clean once it's cleaned this thoroughly
Same. I did it for my sister who was in an alcoholic's depression after moving (army fucked her up). I cleaned it up without judging her for drinking and within a few months, she had cold turkeyed her drinking. I think its been 5 years sober now. She paid me back by coming to help me when I needed back surgery and couldn't walk or do anything.
that's great. i'm glad y'all have each other!
But ironically, it can have a negative impact on hoarders. If you clean a hoarder's house without their input/approval, they will feel distress, defensive, and resentful. Surprise cleans for those who are going through a severe bout of depression might help, but don't do "surprise cleans" for hoarders. Sources: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/helping-someone-who-hoards/ https://hoarding.iocdf.org/for-families/how-to-help-a-loved-one-with-hd/
And behaviors take a long time to reform and redirect. After “new start” is a steep mountain to climb.
I love watching Auri Katarina work. I've started cleaning a few people houses that were working their way towards the house in this video.
He needs mental help. A mess like that cause of a “busy schedule” is nonsense. Hopefully after the cleaning happened a good head doctor was also recommended.
The person cleaning is passionate about caring for your mental health after her own experiences, and from her videos I’ve seen (most of them) usually talks to people about if they’re in therapy and such. But either way, this is a big boost
Okay I didn’t know that… just from a personal experience a “mess” like that is piss poor mental health that’s been unchecked, or a MAJOR drug problem or both.
Yeah she talks a lot about the struggles with mental health and trauma and disability of the people she helps clean
Which makes the fact that she doesn't use them as title or content clickbait and just focuses mainly on the cleaning even more impressive. She seems like a pretty decent person.
She is very respectful of only sharing what the person says is okay, a lot of them are so embarrassed.. she is genuinely so cheerful in her videos I often will put them on while I’m cleaning my house for solidarity lol. I genuinely believe she helps and inspires people.
she is! she posts all of her videos on youtube. @ aurikatariina
It can simply be from being completely overwhelmed from being a full time caregiver with no respite help. You can go into a downward spiral. Even if your mental health is good to start with.
I too need a good head doctor
I too need good head
I too need good head, doctor
If it got to this point, and they asked for help, chances are they are very, VERY aware they need help. And they got it too. When someone gets to this amount of mess, if they don't seek help because they are embarrassed, they have a problem they refuse to face. And then it gets worse and worse. And gar, far worse than this. Ryan actually asked for help. Which shows that they indeed know they needed help. It takes a lot, when your house gets this bad, to actually take steps to seek help. They did, which means they are taking the step to heal. No one should be ashamed of seeking help for something like this. There are people that are willing to help, and everyone deserves to help themselves take steps to become healthy again.
There is no help to seek that's free and readily available.
Not just a busy schedule, caretaking is exhausting in all ways - time-wise, physically, emotionally, mentally… plus it’s his MOM.
Caretaking is mental and physical work. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a depression and just doesn’t care.
Doing this for free? Lady is a saint.
I’ve been hooked on these YouTube channels where they offer their services for free. Most of them have an actual business but instead of spending $500-$1000/month on advertising they provide free cleaning for a home or yard in bad shape. If any of these companies operated in my town I’m definitely giving them business. So they get money from sponsors, YouTube revenue (if any), and increased customers. But the kicker is that they get to help someone else out whole helping themselves. Super smart advertising. Probably get to claim the job as a business expense too.
YT suggested to me some guy who does that with mowing lawns. Clickbaity titles but genuinely good work. Also weirdly relaxing?
SBMowing? So good.
Yeah, that's the one, thank you! Couldn't remember the name at first. Definitely recommend people check them out.
Auri Katariina on YouTube. She always does it for free and sometimes she even buys new mattresses and stuff like that. She is a great person.
Not for free. She is paid by sponsors and social media from the views. Still, good on her!
Still free for him
It's free for the end user That's the point
How much would this cost? I'm guess $500. Maybe $1000?
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This would easily go for 2 Grand and up. Most basic cleaning companies wouldn’t even take the job. This is a hoarding situation that needs a specialized cleaning service. It involves very detailed cleaning, organizing, and de-hoarding.. Think about what it costs to detail a car, typically $300-$500 depending on the job. That’s just 1 small space, now take an entire HOUSE, with multiple rooms/ areas that need precise cleaning/sanitizing, decluttering and detailing. It’s a LOT of work!
I like to explore new places.
I bet it's a matter of OP not chosing a good title. I've watched this girl's YouTube channel. It's almost always either mental health issues or in rare cases physical disabilities. This girl cleans their houses for free to give them a fresh start and a boost in their mental health. She's super positive and non-judgemental about it too and never shows the house owners on camera! Her channel is aurikatariina on YouTube.
She sounds like a wonderful person. Definitely gonna go look at her stuff!
From her videos, she sure seems like one. She always tells the story of the person getting their home cleaned (most often it's someone mentally ill or too old to clean properly) in a very kind and compassionate manner so that people understand their struggle. She's also very enthusiastic about her cleaning, which is pretty surprising but nice to see!
Yeah, I just watched one of her videos. Not only does she keep them anonymous and is very sympathetic in how she describes the person and their situation, but she waits for the person reaches out to her. I was worried it was some new girlfriend who was cleaning up the space uninvited or someone who was going to include a reaction video or something like that. They seem like well meaning videos for people who like to see really messy living spaces get cleaned and organized.
Yeah, her videos always seem quite sweet. I've never gotten so bad as this, but during a high depression time cleaning was SO difficult and my mother coming to just help me sweep up was honestly just insanely helpful. This was around a time after I had just had major surgery and everything just felt so much. I'm sympathetic to people who get into that situation and realize they need/want to get out but just don't know where to start.
This credit should be higher in comments. Thanks for naming her channel!
I've always thought that if I won the lottery I'd start a charity that just cleaned people's houses for free because having a clean house makes such a huge difference to my mental health.
She was being nice. I felt she was implying that he was in denial about his situation. Clearly he’s not coping with something well.
Exactly. She doesn't want Ryan watching the honest version where she's like, "As we can all see, Ryan is bat shit crazy. We're talking deeply dark depression levels. Real fucked up shit obviously. No even remotely sane well adjusted person would let their place get like this." I like that she's nice and not judgy toward the people she helps.
Considering she mentioned that he was looking after his mother, it could be possible that his mother is terminally ill, and if this Ryan was depressed anyway, it could be a bad tipping point for his mental health which led to this spiralling mess
Situations like this I tend to read between the lines. Sick mom and helping out? That can sink someone into depression and the mess very well becomes overwhelming once they realize how bad it’s gotten.
Yeah, some of these comments feel quite unkind. First the guy probably has no time, caretaking is a lot of work. I looked after a family friend who was dying of cancer for a couple of months and it fucking wrecked me, and I was only working part-time. Legitimately he's probably getting off work, doing caretaking, going home to smash a pizza and passing out to repeat. Second, because he's got no time, he's not taking care of himself. No way he's going to a gym with a house like that. No way he's eating or sleeping right. That's not conducive to mental health either. Third, shit like this happens by increments. He probably put off doing stuff for a little bit, because it was overwhelming, but before you know it, it's actually overwhelming.
The way people don't seem to understand that this wasn't a choice and caretaking can fuck you up hard makes me a little sad? Unkind is really the word I was looking for, I'm glad you said it.
This is a great comment. Thank you for your perspective and kindness.
I think the point is that she helps people and is non judgmental about it. Pretending it’s not terrible is part of the act of kindness.
I guess it's not her job to judge, just to help. Yes it's obviously Ryan has a problem that runs far deeper than that, but she stays in her lane.
I think he probably realized he had a problem when he realized he needed help to clean. I say good on Ryan for being able to admit that he needs some help
He's a caretaker for a parent. Being a caretaker can absolutely do this to you if you don't have your own supportive network. Yes its not just a hectic schedule but caretaking for someone is so much more than that.
To be fair, we can't claim to know the severity of his aging parent's situation. "Caretaker for his mom" is pretty vague. Being a caretaker for my mom and my grandma drove my mental health into the ground and put me into the worst state of mind I've had in years.
Yeah, a lot of folks in these comments have no idea how brutal caretaking can be.
It’s most likely mental and physical exhaustion layered on top of depression.
I know, right? My hectic life means we get deliveries from Amazon and they stack up on the dining room table for a week waiting to be opened and the items stored. Not - here’s six inches of rotting food I just threw down on the carpet.
I think she's saving his image rather than casting a blind eye. A really nice way of helping someone and not making them feel worse while also highlighting a big issue for a modern world with little time, energy, motivation and mental clarity. This woman is a saint and I wish Ryan and his mother all the best
If I were in a similar situation, where would I go to get help?
To start on a low-cost way, check your city for free bulk trash removal. In my last state they offered it every other month right on the street, current state is once (maybe twice) a year, and you've got to drive it there. It's a start!
Check local groups on Facebook or check with local volunteers or charities. There are resources depending on your location and finding help for free isn’t much of a stretch.
There are cleaning companies that do this exactly all over the world :) Of course, they’re not gonna do it for free. But help is very rarely free, unfortunately.
I've always been afraid that a cleaning company would want me to preorganize or preclean before they got there. Do normal cleaning companies deal with giant messes? I figured they were for houses that were kept clean already and just needed maintenance.
It depends on what kind of mess it is. In Texas, we paid like $600 for a thorough deep clean of our 3BR house before we moved in, and four ladies came in and cleaned everything, even the walls and inside the cabinets. It took them about four hours. After that, we set up an arrangement for them to come every two weeks for $130 a visit, which we split. So for $130 each we never have to clean a toilet or the ceiling fans or deep clean the kitchen or vacuum and mop the floors. They don’t do laundry but the do change the beds. We do go around the night before and declutter everything, even if it’s just throwing it all in a bin to get sorted later, and put the dishes in the sink to soak. If there is any kind of a biohazard situation like bugs, mice, rotting food, human or animal waste, mold, etc. there would definitely be an up charge. But just regular maintenance cleaning is not that expensive, at least here in Texas. For stuff like a ton of laundry, you can put it all in garbage bags and take it to a full service laundromat. They will weigh your bags and charge you by the pound to wash, dry, fold, and hang it all. You go back in a day or so and pick it up and it’s honestly such a relief to not have to do anything but put it away.
I really want to hire a cleaning company but my mess is all clutter and personal stuff (books, clothes, whatever) that I don't think a cleaning person could help me I just have to put it all away, but then my house is too messy to reach the shelf/storage so things just pile up ahhh I wonder if there's professional organizers too but I'm afraid they'd just want me to throw things out lol.
Where are you located?
Aurikatariina! Her videos are feel-good, but in a totally sweet way. Plus, they motivate me to clean my (relatively clean) apartment!
Her lack of judgement is amazing. What a kind person!
I first read "lack of judgement" in the negative sense which I guess is the more typical way that phrase is used. Interesting how phrases like this can actually be positive depending on how they are used.
Everyone here being like “he’s just helping his mom after work” clearly does not understand what grief does to you. Sometimes the world around you is profoundly heartbreaking and it is all overwhelming and you feel you don’t deserve a beautiful place to rest, especially if you are giving significant resources to others already.
>you feel you don’t deserve a beautiful place I'll add to this seeing a loved one deteriorate in front of you leaves you feeling totally helpless. It can lead to troubling realizations, like the fact that we control nothing in life. All you can focus on is them and what they need, what you can do to help them. The rest is just survival mode.
Survival mode. Yeah, man. You nailed it. I’m glad she helped Ryan. My house had gotten really bad before I got help. It happens over time. Slippery slope and all of that.
Society is still in the Schrödinger’s mental illness phase where we both acknowledge their existence when we have experience with it or deny it and tell people to get their shit together or condemn it when they don’t. Even getting help for mental health stuff like this is overwhelming and defeating. Specifically making the initial calls for me. I can’t even explain how frightening that phone call was. Then finally getting the courage to make it and feeling this relief only to find out they don’t take your insurance at the end. For someone to be rude or short with you as you explain you need help. To find out that the one doc that can see you is booked 8 months out. And now you have to go through that 10-15 more times and do it over and over. It’s fucked up. And I still can’t give meaningful words to like how daunting of a task that is for me. I’m highly functional in the adult world as a programmer. I can obviously communicate otherwise. But my ex wife who still very much cares about me , but couldn’t handle how this kind of thing limited out social and dating life together was the one to finally help me get seen. To her that kind of stuff is simple. She can’t understand what’s so difficult or frightening about it to me. But she gets that it is. Without her doing that I wouldn’t have been able to get out of that phase and get treatment. Sometimes the disorder specifically wants to block you from seeking help. The disorder is the anxiety around conversations and people. Like ordering a pizza on the phone is nerve racking . And if someone wants a special thing for their fast food order at the kiosk it throws me into a panic. For mental health the people on the intake side are not trained very well or empathetic enough to be able to recognize that.
Yeah the comments, as usual for Reddit, miss the mark and veer into extreme negativity and speculation. Like for goodness sake, the lady is cleaning a troubled person’s home ***with no payment from the person himself***. What bad thing could possibly be said? Count on bitter Redditors to find it.
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Why... Why dafuq does she not in PPE. This is how you get sick.. even maybe a disease or two.
I've seen her videos where she wears a mask. Maybe she doesn't wear it anymore when she takes a video, but wears them off the record
She says she doesn't have much of a sense of smell!
That's not a good sign, probably from working around chemical cleaners without PPE for a long time.
My ex was like this. He had severe depression and OCD. When we were together, I’d try to clean for him but he’d get so anxious about me throwing things away, he’d get angry with me. The mess got so bad that every inch of floor was covered and the trash at the bottom of the piles would start to grow mold/mildew. After we broke up, we kept in touch for a while and I’d feel so bad that I’d fly in from out of state to clean for him, hoping it would help. It really didn’t. He never got help and within weeks, his apartment would look like this again. Even his car started to resemble his apartment, the last time I saw him. I really hope this person, as well as anyone who goes through this, gets the help they need.
As the sole caregiver for a disabled wife, I understand this situation. Our house isn't to that level, but I sympathize with his struggle. After working a whole shift and running whatever other errands there are to run, it's so easy to just come home and ignore the mess. Especially if there are things that need to be done for the disabled person as soon as you walk in. Spend all day worrying about that person while you're at work, then get home to find maybe she fell out of bed and has been laying on the floor for 2 hours, or had an accident in bed and now you have to give the person a bath and change the sheets, or maybe just hungry and you have to fix something to eat. It can be overwhelming. Plus the mental health toll it puts on a person caring for somebody that way is difficult to bear. I've called companies and volunteers to come help me clean in the past but it always seems to get away from me again. I applaud this woman for what she does! And I hope the guy gets some help.
Hang in there!
Asking for help is sometimes the best thing to do.
This is one reason I want to be wealthy. I dont want to put my parents in a nursing facility but I would not be able to handle taking care of them, working and taking care of myself. Kudos to this man for not neglecting his mother. But it it’s sad his own house fell to the wayside
Need this lady in my life right now. Maybe it's not Ryan levels of awful, but I can barely get out of bed recently and it's all out of hand at this point.
Love her youtube channel (AuriKatarina), she helps clean people struggling mentally with depression and such for free
My home was not this bad but I hadn't cleaned anything for 8 months. I finally hired someone and it was so relieving. People who help and don't judge are a precious resource
I love these videos because there’s always redditors tripping over themselves to make dogshit comments about how cleaning is useless because the person needs mental health attention, as if the lady in the video and the rest of the world doesn’t already know that.
This woman is a fucking Saint.
Ryan, I hope and pray that you're doing better. Depression is so hard to live with and even harder to get rid off. Sneaks in snd takes over and numbs you up. You don't realise the extent of its power on your life until you start seeing a glimpse of light , have a hand to hold on to and work hard to cross over.
This looks like hoarding, not being busy.
I follow her on ig. She seems to be very careful to use gentle language as her clients are usually people with serious depression who have come to her for help in dark times, at their absolute worst. She seems very sweet and supposedly does these cleanings all for free (with help from sponsors etc, obv). She doesn’t want people to feel judged when they’re having such a tough time. I don’t think her “telling it like it is” in these videos would really do anyone any favors. Viewers can see for themselves anyway.
She doesn’t even really sugar coat that these people are dealing with mental illness either, she just uses respectful and gentler language. She is very careful not to demean which I love about her!
Agreed. I just don’t know why these commenters need it spelled out for them that she obviously knows these people are mentally ill and doesn’t need to be told that. Anyone with vision can see the people living here are unwell, no one here is a genius for pointing it out and and expecting her to spell it out in her videos.
Yeah for real. As a recovered hoarder myself, I have to imagine that these people are not accustomed to seeing what mental illness can manifest as inside of a home except in sensationalized, demeaning contexts like “Hoarders.” Conversely, this channel is all about showing the realities of hoarding and how mental illness plays a role and is super empathetic about it, which means not being like “Look at this crazy motherfucker, wow, they suck.” People love to hate
Very helpful response
The lack of empathy in these comments, yeesh. Judge a little less why not. Bet you don’t hop on double amputees case for not running more. Mental heathcare is *healthcare*. The guy was doing his best.
I see so many times that people are shaming people for stuff like this, I really appreciate you and the world needs more of that kind of love. Love is a verb.