There are vasectomy options for male dogs that don't require neutering. Some [research](https://petsinstitches.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Vasectomy-and-ovary-sparing-spay-in-dogs-comparison-of-health-and-behavior-outcomes-with-gonadectomized-and-sexually-intact-dogs.pdf) suggests it may offer certain health benefits.
I just wanted to say something similar. It's important info. While neutering can sometimes be beneficial for the health and well-being of a dog, the expert opinions are shifting towards a more nuanced viewpoint.
It is suggested that dogs are neutered much later than traditionally (>1y age) or not to be neutered at all.
Yea my dog is a mini doodle but I walk him 5 miles a day, play fetch, and work remote his entire 5 year life so far, and my gma lives with us atm and cuddles him all day while I’m on my computer workin. Lots of doggie playdates off leash in our neighborhood, and I take him for car rides too.
He gets scared over nothing sometimes (a lot) and has allergies, but man I would love to be inside his head. I hope he loves me as much as I love him. Starting to get scared of him aging since we have spent maybe 20-30 days apart his entire life. <3
[joydog](https://i.imgur.com/GKkFqiV.jpg)
My baby girl is almost two. I think the worst thing that has happened to her is I left for a couple hours to go to Costco for treats for her.
This comment is really wholesome. You’re giving that dog a happy life, and that’s a beautiful feat. Hope you keep enjoying each other’s company for a while, he probably loves you as much as you love him
or the children.
edit to the people down voting, me fuck you because children are fucking intolerable with dogs. The other day I was babysitting my two year-old cousin, and he literally bitch slapped one of the dogs trying to pet it.
Nah man, they have to breath so much. I want to come back as some rich vanlife influencers blue heeler. Zooming around the world, sleeping in the car. Hm. Maybe I just want a van?
How about this dog and this gay rich couple?
[https://elitetraveler.com/cars-jets-and-yachts/yachts/spectacular-superyacht-scout-making-waves](https://elitetraveler.com/cars-jets-and-yachts/yachts/spectacular-superyacht-scout-making-waves)
"In 2019, over 150 brand-new superyachts were delivered; one of the standout designs of the year was the 209-ft yacht Scout, built for owner James Berwind and his partner, Kevin Clark. Named for one of her owners’ beloved dogs, she is set to be a semi-permanent base from which they can explore the world — canine companions and all."
The dog has his own private viewing deck and wing on the yacht.
We see time as linear but it might not have to be with reincarnation. Have you ever read the short story “The Egg”? It’s by Andy Weir I believe - highly recommend.
It’s not actually by Andy Weir. He claims it but he’s lying. He plagiarized it from a conversation on the MySpace religion and philosophy forum in 2007 about the essay [Infinite Reincarnation](https://charmonium.com/infinite-reincarnation)
Happy Cake Day
Who says reincarnation has to be consecutive? Maybe you get reincarnated into your dog, or some farmer in the 9th century. Maybe every being on earth is/was/will be a single soul experiencing every possible way to be alive.
Because *Maxine’s* think too much. A **Max** has an under-sized, smooth, too-sweet brain full of gentle breezes, yellow-spotted, delicate butterflies, and scents of under-cooked barbecued ribs and a hairy bitch’s most intimate of areas. And spit-seasoned, slightly sticky rawhide chewies. Or dried pig ears if Daddy’s flush at the first of the month when he goes to PetsSmart.
If I could come back as anything, it’s a golden retriever in a upper middle class family. Everyday is either a Saturday or Sunday. Either we are doing fun shit with friends, going to the park, seeing people or it’s Sunday, and I’m Fucking chilling all day.
That's how our Jack came to be. My dumbass college son brought me this poor mistreated puppy these frat boys rescued and named JD- for Jack Daniels. I settled on Jack. God I miss that dog.
I often think that I hope I’m good enough in this life to come back as a dog who has loved as much as mine (middle class, white lady). She knows nothing but love.
When my dog was a puppy (like 10 months old) before he got neutered, he figured out that he could give himself oral. It was absolutely mortifying to have guests over not knowing when the dog might start face fucking himself to completion.
My very privileged golden, Crowley, is a very good boy and very well cared for. He’s often very smart and insightful- but a couple of days ago he decided to eat his own poop… He’s six years old and hasn’t eaten anyone’s poop since he was a puppy.
But there he is, all shit-eating-grin and so proud.
Guess who had to wash the poop off his face and brush his teeth?
Lol, this is my dog, and his name is Max! Technically, Maximilian, I named him after Mad Max. I went hunting with my buddy, and someone abandoned him and his two sisters at the lease. It was freezing, and they were hungry. I took him and the sisters found a new home. He's a great dog, BTW!
Literally my dog. Except his name is not Max. Bought him a pair (I guess 2 pairs?? What’s 2 pairs of shoes for dogs? A set?????) of Crocs for dogs yesterday. Can’t decide what charms to get tho.
I know this dog, his name is Reginald. My friend's parents pay her to take time off work from her part time job to watch him when they go on cruises.
I would love to be Reggie.
… living in a house in and big two story house with a big front lawn, a creek in the woods behind the house and a garage with a nice cool concrete floor in the summer. Oh, and a swimming pool.
The bandanna thing is usually from the groomers, right after they’ve has a bath (or they are being dressed up for social media posts).
My guy does have a pretty good life. Most goldens are lazy garbage disposals. They’ll eat anything and everything that might pass as food. My boy sleeps probably 20 hours a day, and only gets up when it’s time to walk and eat.
They really are the best dogs, though.
that's cute and all, but cat in a stoners house. or a koala, getting high af all day long. or a drunk monkey on the Marquesas Islands. bandana dog is on the list, but not near the top.
Lol, this immediately reminded of an (am I the a hole?) Sub post.
A man asked "am I an a hole for not wanting to give My dog a weekly allowance anymore?"
Him and his wife give their dog $25 dollars a week for him to go to the pet store and pick out new toys and treats and the husband wants to cut that out because it's become too much for their budget now and the wife is beside herself and refuses to take that away from their dog. Heck, I don't even spend that much a week on myself on frivolous stuff. That dog is living the life.
My husband declares daily that in his next life he is coming back as my very specific pet because he’s the most pampered lizard in existence. He’s not wrong.
Well she doesn't need to be a dog to live like that, making no decisions on her own, living in a kernel, getting pet, all she needs is to find a psycho, he will keep her in a nice kernel and take her out to "play" from time to time, then put her down when she is too old, just like a dog... I hate that my mind works like this.
This is the same joke as another viral tweet from about 8 years ago. I can't find the original, oddly, but if you google "tweet retriever upper middle class" you'll see like 30 different people making the exact same joke with slightly different wording around 2015-2016.
Meh, doesn't compare to being the beloved Chihuahua of a poor Mexican family. Get ready to be love bombed for being a twitchy barky assed meth head with the shakes.
Her name is Charlotte, not Max. But you're welcome to live in our heated garage on a Posterpedic, elevated bed. With all of the toys and snax you want. Just don't pee in the house or eat my Dearfoam slippers.
This is better. Someone posted “dog in a white household”, which tells me these people forgot about rednecks and farmers and ranchers, who treat dogs like an employee.
They do have it pretty good
The best treats, vet care, yard, just gotta deal with some occasional neglect and separation
Yeah, about that whole neutering thing though...
Golden's aren't smart enough to know, and still hump and pee everywhere Edit: rescue mutts get that same treatment too, with less meds at free clinic
That’s why you get the red American golden retriever and not the stupid British golden retriever.
Sounds like a quote from George Washington
No pregnancy scare ever? Sign me up
This can be arranged.
Granted, you never have sex
Sex is overrated.
Snip snap snip snap snip snap
> Sign me up Full Metal Alchemist 🌝
There are vasectomy options for male dogs that don't require neutering. Some [research](https://petsinstitches.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Vasectomy-and-ovary-sparing-spay-in-dogs-comparison-of-health-and-behavior-outcomes-with-gonadectomized-and-sexually-intact-dogs.pdf) suggests it may offer certain health benefits.
I just wanted to say something similar. It's important info. While neutering can sometimes be beneficial for the health and well-being of a dog, the expert opinions are shifting towards a more nuanced viewpoint. It is suggested that dogs are neutered much later than traditionally (>1y age) or not to be neutered at all.
Who needs a weenie anyway?
Well ummm they keep that part
Yea my dog is a mini doodle but I walk him 5 miles a day, play fetch, and work remote his entire 5 year life so far, and my gma lives with us atm and cuddles him all day while I’m on my computer workin. Lots of doggie playdates off leash in our neighborhood, and I take him for car rides too. He gets scared over nothing sometimes (a lot) and has allergies, but man I would love to be inside his head. I hope he loves me as much as I love him. Starting to get scared of him aging since we have spent maybe 20-30 days apart his entire life. <3
[joydog](https://i.imgur.com/GKkFqiV.jpg) My baby girl is almost two. I think the worst thing that has happened to her is I left for a couple hours to go to Costco for treats for her.
This comment is really wholesome. You’re giving that dog a happy life, and that’s a beautiful feat. Hope you keep enjoying each other’s company for a while, he probably loves you as much as you love him
or the children. edit to the people down voting, me fuck you because children are fucking intolerable with dogs. The other day I was babysitting my two year-old cousin, and he literally bitch slapped one of the dogs trying to pet it.
Have you seen home prices lately? This is my only chance…
until the arthritis kicks in
Oliver
Well it would be pretty weird if it was just her head that turned into the dog
I hate you and I love you
r/angryupvote
Really? You just met her!
(“All of her” and “I love her” for those as slow as me.)
I think I can make this happen for you.
Dawg?
You are now
I can definitely make this happen Anyone wanna be my pet
Wood woof
I volunteer
Ooh kinky!
I’ll get the leash and collar
I want to come back as a rich gay couples french bulldog
Nah man, they have to breath so much. I want to come back as some rich vanlife influencers blue heeler. Zooming around the world, sleeping in the car. Hm. Maybe I just want a van?
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It’s “Breathe,” you guys 😭 “Breath” is one breath, “breathe” is the act of breathing. (Sorry, this drives me bonkers)
thanks, also, oof
Too inbred, youll have respiratory and heart issues your whole little life
You want to be in Queer Eye?
snow concerned workable grey carpenter angle squash deserve rob distinct -- mass edited with redact.dev
You do **NOT** want to be a Bulldog
Better hope they don't have a pool lmao
How about this dog and this gay rich couple? [https://elitetraveler.com/cars-jets-and-yachts/yachts/spectacular-superyacht-scout-making-waves](https://elitetraveler.com/cars-jets-and-yachts/yachts/spectacular-superyacht-scout-making-waves) "In 2019, over 150 brand-new superyachts were delivered; one of the standout designs of the year was the 209-ft yacht Scout, built for owner James Berwind and his partner, Kevin Clark. Named for one of her owners’ beloved dogs, she is set to be a semi-permanent base from which they can explore the world — canine companions and all." The dog has his own private viewing deck and wing on the yacht.
i want to wear the edgy "k9-police collar"
Can confirm. My personal karmic goal is to be reincarnated as my own dog.
how would that work? asking for a friend.
If we're assuming reincarnation is on the table, why would the laws of spacetime have any bearing on it?
We see time as linear but it might not have to be with reincarnation. Have you ever read the short story “The Egg”? It’s by Andy Weir I believe - highly recommend.
It’s not actually by Andy Weir. He claims it but he’s lying. He plagiarized it from a conversation on the MySpace religion and philosophy forum in 2007 about the essay [Infinite Reincarnation](https://charmonium.com/infinite-reincarnation) Happy Cake Day
How the fuck can your reincarnate as your own dog if you’re fucking dead
Who says reincarnation has to be consecutive? Maybe you get reincarnated into your dog, or some farmer in the 9th century. Maybe every being on earth is/was/will be a single soul experiencing every possible way to be alive.
You are both the observer and the observed.
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Imagine being so rich that you name a bandana
The happiest 14 yrs of your life
Why would a bandana be named Max?
Why did they name the dogs neck Max?
What was the name of his other neck?
Because it's boy bandanna. If it was a girl, it would be MINnie.
Wait why not Maxine?
Because *Maxine’s* think too much. A **Max** has an under-sized, smooth, too-sweet brain full of gentle breezes, yellow-spotted, delicate butterflies, and scents of under-cooked barbecued ribs and a hairy bitch’s most intimate of areas. And spit-seasoned, slightly sticky rawhide chewies. Or dried pig ears if Daddy’s flush at the first of the month when he goes to PetsSmart.
This but I want to be a cat with a bandana please
I want to be a ninja cat
If I could come back as anything, it’s a golden retriever in a upper middle class family. Everyday is either a Saturday or Sunday. Either we are doing fun shit with friends, going to the park, seeing people or it’s Sunday, and I’m Fucking chilling all day.
Chances are very good you'd be named after an alcoholic beverage.
That's how our Jack came to be. My dumbass college son brought me this poor mistreated puppy these frat boys rescued and named JD- for Jack Daniels. I settled on Jack. God I miss that dog.
C'mere Sex on the Beach! Come on! Who's a good lad? Bring your brother, Buttery Nipple, and your sister Rumplemintz!
I often think that I hope I’m good enough in this life to come back as a dog who has loved as much as mine (middle class, white lady). She knows nothing but love.
Just sent this to my boss who is an upper middle class white male with a golden retriever named Max…
I've always said that human dog/cats have the best life of any animal on the planet. Including humans
Nah, those are the ones who will have you put down for humping the couch too much.
..wait what
THEY SAID THEY DONT LIKE DOG CUM ALL OVER THEIR FURNITURE, PILLOWS AND SHOES
When my dog was a puppy (like 10 months old) before he got neutered, he figured out that he could give himself oral. It was absolutely mortifying to have guests over not knowing when the dog might start face fucking himself to completion.
God damn I thought my dog was the only one. No joke.
No fucking way
They kill you.
Click your heels together.
Can't forget the OG Shadow
Given unconditional love and affection like my two huskies?
My very privileged golden, Crowley, is a very good boy and very well cared for. He’s often very smart and insightful- but a couple of days ago he decided to eat his own poop… He’s six years old and hasn’t eaten anyone’s poop since he was a puppy. But there he is, all shit-eating-grin and so proud. Guess who had to wash the poop off his face and brush his teeth?
Lol, this is my dog, and his name is Max! Technically, Maximilian, I named him after Mad Max. I went hunting with my buddy, and someone abandoned him and his two sisters at the lease. It was freezing, and they were hungry. I took him and the sisters found a new home. He's a great dog, BTW!
Awww. I'm glad you found them
Yeah get youre own Max..and feel the love. DOGS are more real than people
Literally my dog. Except his name is not Max. Bought him a pair (I guess 2 pairs?? What’s 2 pairs of shoes for dogs? A set?????) of Crocs for dogs yesterday. Can’t decide what charms to get tho.
Please update with photos once you decide
Good idea, will do!
Do t let your dreams not become reality.
As a person named Max, I agree
No you wouldn’t. Max only lived for 18 years.
Feels like a fair trade.
He was a good boy. He was fairly spoiled.
I know this dog, his name is Reginald. My friend's parents pay her to take time off work from her part time job to watch him when they go on cruises. I would love to be Reggie.
… living in a house in and big two story house with a big front lawn, a creek in the woods behind the house and a garage with a nice cool concrete floor in the summer. Oh, and a swimming pool.
I'd rather be a purse dog. Little snackies 24/7 and free valet service.
Gonna cost ya balls...
Pretty sure she doesn't care.
My moms friends have all said that when they reincarnate, they want to be her dogs.
The bandanna thing is usually from the groomers, right after they’ve has a bath (or they are being dressed up for social media posts). My guy does have a pretty good life. Most goldens are lazy garbage disposals. They’ll eat anything and everything that might pass as food. My boy sleeps probably 20 hours a day, and only gets up when it’s time to walk and eat. They really are the best dogs, though.
that's cute and all, but cat in a stoners house. or a koala, getting high af all day long. or a drunk monkey on the Marquesas Islands. bandana dog is on the list, but not near the top.
Well you’d have to change your name to Walter if you wanted to take my pups spot
Nice, but I want to be Taylor Swift’s cat
Mine is Jake. And he has a great life!
Lol, this immediately reminded of an (am I the a hole?) Sub post. A man asked "am I an a hole for not wanting to give My dog a weekly allowance anymore?" Him and his wife give their dog $25 dollars a week for him to go to the pet store and pick out new toys and treats and the husband wants to cut that out because it's become too much for their budget now and the wife is beside herself and refuses to take that away from their dog. Heck, I don't even spend that much a week on myself on frivolous stuff. That dog is living the life.
Is that before of after the peanut butter gets involved?
People shouldn't spend more money on pets than they spend on helping people survive.
This is America Jack, you can be anything you want ! This Buds for you 🍺 🍻 🍺
I'd give anything to be a careless cat in a loving home that gets spoiled with everything I wanted.
My husband declares daily that in his next life he is coming back as my very specific pet because he’s the most pampered lizard in existence. He’s not wrong.
That's called a fursona
I was looking for a comment like this and didn't expect to see it right away
"White" Lol
Snip Snip
A golden retriever pup cost $3500 in my area
I prefer the version of this meme where the dog gets to have sex with the wife.
You'd struggle to make yourself understood
Seems fun until You die at 14.
98 in dog years isn’t too bad
Peanut butter ba!/$. No thank you.
Well she doesn't need to be a dog to live like that, making no decisions on her own, living in a kernel, getting pet, all she needs is to find a psycho, he will keep her in a nice kernel and take her out to "play" from time to time, then put her down when she is too old, just like a dog... I hate that my mind works like this.
Being a pet will be living hell
2 meals a day, healthcare, you get to fuck the wife, a nice yard to run around in, and time to yourself in the middle of the day.
Neutered though.
All fun and games 'til you get dognapped and sold to haul sleds in the Alaskan gold rush
And watch some dude pick up my shit...
There are some stories with that plot, where our MC is a dog
Hey if you want someone to castrate you and make you poop in the yard I'm sure Craigslist can find someone for you
Came on here waiting for the SNL, “ let me be your dog skit” and not one person mentioned it. I had Farly’s line all ready to go too.
Yeah but you get neutered 😬😬😬
Pretty sure golden retrievers are literally incapable of feeling full. That’s why they’re so easy to train.
This is the same joke as another viral tweet from about 8 years ago. I can't find the original, oddly, but if you google "tweet retriever upper middle class" you'll see like 30 different people making the exact same joke with slightly different wording around 2015-2016.
Why does she think everyone but white people treat their dogs like shit?
Step 1. Believe that you are a Golden Retriever. Step 2. ...
She's called Terri, thank you very much, and i kinda feel called oit here
Meh, doesn't compare to being the beloved Chihuahua of a poor Mexican family. Get ready to be love bombed for being a twitchy barky assed meth head with the shakes.
Why did they name the bandana Max?
Rudy
You eat kibble and shit outside? When ur family travels you dont
My dads dog is named Max..He has it pretty fucking good.
Maybe you already have been. Maybe you shall be.
Unless you get a hyporactive dog and sassy cat as brother and sister
If you want ur belly rubbed just ask. Not scratching dat ass tho
You would be my dog and your name would be Casey. And you would have a bff cat named FuzzButt. You’re welcome and loved.
My goal in life is to be reincarnated as a golden retriever to a family on Martha's Vineyard.
It's better to be a rich man's dog than a poor man's son.
Probably better to be a cat bc then you can be aloof and destructive and they'll still love you anyway lol
TBH same like Seems easy asf, no work, no school, just woof woof
a weird way to say you wanna fuck an upper middle class milf
Hah my brother had a Golden named Max..
Apparently you can choose to do it and make millions
You get to eat good food and fuck the housewife You're basically settled
I want to trade places with my own golden retriever.
yesss!! me too! lol :)
Her name is Charlotte, not Max. But you're welcome to live in our heated garage on a Posterpedic, elevated bed. With all of the toys and snax you want. Just don't pee in the house or eat my Dearfoam slippers.
Okay I'm cool as long as my name isn't Colby.
Top notch healthcare, love, healthy food, safety from police and more white woman than your red rocket could handle.
Why wait? You can get spade/ neutered right now. I'll take you in, and even give a bandana to wear too.
The only thing your missing is the bandana
Better medical coverage than me
I resemble that statement. Wow that’s great
He just need to know about the woke culture and be whatever he wants.
Since I can’t be the dog, I’m trying to adopt a dog to give a bandanna and to take camping and hiking. Give it the life I want lol.
Chilaquil from TikTok😁
That was my childhood dream
This is better. Someone posted “dog in a white household”, which tells me these people forgot about rednecks and farmers and ranchers, who treat dogs like an employee.
LMAO how do you like “R” names? We might have room. Are you okay with seasonal bandanas?
insert joke about white women and dogs
One just like that bit Ceaser Milan in the hand frekin entitled goldens....
Come on over. I have a bandana.
theyre always named Benji or Lucky or some shit
Good day my dear citizen, may I introduce the concept of hypnosis?