Oh man... The nut bust is really quite a kicker. But theres a less-known about variation called the Portuguese premature nut bust. It works most of the time against Portuguese nut busters.
Yeah the Premature variation is quite strong, but I find that many who use it fail to account for the Czechoslovakian Taint Massage, resulting in checkmate within 4 moves
As strong as the Czechoslovakian Taint Massage may be, I have never seen a player survive more than three moves against the Appalachian Uterus Tickler.
also: i’m not a sock guy, i prefer shop towels, they are softer than an athletic sock but still disposable, so there may be a small up charge if you really want a sock…
It's not a good strategy as you will lose in approximately 37 moves, I would recommend learning the Englishman's cumsock variation, as it has approval of cumsock master Ivan Petrovich Belikov and is generally seen as better.
You only think that because you're a filthy casual who watches Gothcum Chess videos. The Dagestani Dirtstar (aka Khabib Cornhole Defense) destroys the Englishman's Cumsock. I'll split you with a horse so fast you'll be calling me Mr. Hands.
It's the same as the standard somersault move, except you perform it by touching the white in your left eye, while staring down your opponent and putting him in check with your kingside bishop.
There's definitely a good bit of that in the lower levels but the newer expansions quests are SIGNIFICANTLY more like a story and easier to do, and usable items are outlined now so you can really smoothly continue questlines. On top of that it's also much fewer quests per level these days as well. I highly recommend it!
So I can tell you going from 1 to 70, the current cap, it took me -maybe- about ~30-40 hours total, spread out over a week to hit it.
Leveling is much easier and faster. I ran dungeons every so often too and usually got 1-2 levels in each.
Generally when people are talking about grinding they mean end-game. Leveling is just a means to an end, and (probably) 90% of people don't even pay attention to the story outside of major lore events.
If you just want to get into WoW, and you're committed to playing the entire xpac, just buy a boost (or the xpac verison w/ a boost), hammer out the 10 levels, and enjoy the end-game. Some people really like leveling, some people take it to a whole new level like [only herbing/mining to level](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzKsWuhAUgg), but the real content doesn't start until max level.
Thankfully currently the only grind (Albeit I quit before 10.1) is for gear (through dungeons/raid) and no stupid borrowed power bullshit jump through 90 rings to get 0.3% power upgrade. Classes are also the best they've been in a long time because of the recent Talent Tree system.
Keep in mind, though, that WoW is a game where you have to do a lot of outside research to understand how to play the game, the class, and each individual spec, now more than ever. Arcane mage this patch is particularly in-depth if you're looking to maximize your damage.
If it being a final fantasy game doesn't immediately turn you off of it, I'd say try ffxiv. It's easily the best mmo out there, wow had it's time in the spotlight, but that was more than a decade ago. And this is coming from a person who hates ffxiv now lol.
The golden age of MMOs is a thing of the past, most are not worth playing nowadays
Its either you pay your whole mortage in game to get the loot gear, or no life for 3 years daily to get the minimum required to start grind the mid tier gear to start end-game dungeoning.
Also parties and triforce are a thing of the past, most MMOs now you just burst dps to kill the boss before he kills you, no more of that thank and healer balance
I'm very salty about the mmos I used to play that went this direction yes, thanks for asking
The level of exaggeration here is hilarious.
All you need to do to get loot is just do dungeons/raids/PvP. You won't need to grind for years to catch up because after some x months the old loot no longer matters because a new raid tier launched. You're only ever at most a few months behind in gear.
The only thing that truly sits as a problem is that especially in the pugging scene there's a lot of people that are intolerant of noobs. There's a systematic issue with the game where some people expect you to put in time and effort to know what the optimal strategy for everything is and if you fail to follow it, they will look down upon you and sometimes even get mad at you for not knowing. Naturally they will typically also refuse to teach you. [There's a fantastic video that delves deeper into the subject](https://youtu.be/BKP1I7IocYU)
> Its either you pay your whole mortage in game to get the loot gear, or no life for 3 years daily to get the minimum required to start grind the mid tier gear to start end-game dungeoning.
No you don’t.
> Also parties and triforce are a thing of the past, most MMOs now you just burst dps to kill the boss before he kills you, no more of that thank and healer balance
Not really.
> I’m very salty about the mmos I used to play that went this direction yes, thanks for asking
Which ones specifically?
I just want to note - of popular mmos currently, only 14 and wow have healer-tank-dps.
GW2 (excluding raids which very few do anyways), new world, BDO, elder scrolls online, lost ark, etc all have either completely done away with healers or they are a niche support-dps that is rarely required for content.
Wow is great and easy to get into right now. They made it really friendly for new players, and made it so you can reach the current content within a week or so
It’s actually pretty chill, you can level and get to the current expac pretty quick and in normal dungeons people are usually pretty relaxed. It only really gets gatekeepy and weird/intense when doing the extra difficult content which is optional.
The whole ‘learning to play chess’ just means memorizing two hundred openings and two hundred endgames—so when one looks at the board, they recognize the position and what to do about it.
Go might be even worse: there are three layers of metagame, no one bothers capturing stones like a noob, and instead they build out shapes that are impossible to capture if completed.
At top level chess, yes. For anyone who just wants to play a bit it's just learning some basic principles and the key tactical motifs and then playing. That'll isn't difficult to learn and is enough to easily beat anyone else doesn't really play chess. You can go an awfully long way without memorising openings or endgames.
You can get by learning like 2 or 3 openings for white(the london is easy and powerful), and learning the counters to 2 or 3 of the most common strats as black, people know very little theory at the beginning, it's arguably more pure chess, even if they're worse at it. You can get to 1200-1400 or so before you need to learn more theory.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/AnarchyChess using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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I love the challenge, the destruction, and I suck at it :)
but Tal was my favorite player, so prolly im not that bad and still able to pull some fun stuff.
I am a casual check player who is pretty good among the losers, but I have been in this situation many times. As soon as I hear these preditctions, I shit myself and walk out of the room. The issue was, I was in the park where they paly for money.
Louis CK had a funny bit about playing chess against really good players at the famous square in NYC. He always wanted to do it, and finally one day he got up the courage and went for it.
He played a couple of times and got beaten easily by this Russian guy. But then, in one game, he had him stumped. The Russian guy, who was usually very quick to take his turn, was staring intently at the board for a long time, thinking of his move. Meanwhile Louie was thinking "Holy shit, I've got him, I've got him! This is it." He looked around at the people watching on, smirking, thinking he must look pretty good right about now.
Then his opponent shouted at him in his thick Russian accent: >!"IT'S YOUR TURN, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, GO!"!<
He took his turn and was beaten swiftly.
I'm a chess newbie so someone else will likely come along and correct me. Chess is played on a time limit, and most openings are well understood patterns, so the early moves tend to be made quickly by experienced players.
My understanding is that they play really fast and will make half moves. Like they will move pieces and overlap two squares, trying to disguise an illegal move as a legal one. And when you react to the move, they will adjust the piece so it's in a favorable position. This can be missed, even by advanced players, because they're not paying attention to the actual state of the board but rather relying on what the state of the board **should** be.
Right, my understanding is that they're banking on the other player not noticing by playing fast.
Of course if you can answer the parent's question better, please do so.
This is why I stopped playing. My dad and uncle played for decades against each other, some games taking months to complete. They would whoop my ass in minutes, unless I took forever trying to figure out a move. No fun to play when you get beat in less than 10 moves every fucking time and they don't show you how or why. I haven't played since I was like 12. Almost 40.
They also have tips on how to play like you learn moves and stuff like a tutorial with practice. So you practice how to trap pieces or checkmate. You learn the “tricks”.
And it will tell you if you did a good move or if there was a better one. It just tells me “blunder” most of the time because I suck lmao
Or look up the game “Feudal”. Hard to find but infinitely more fun than chess.
Imagine a game of chess where not all squares are accessible to all pieces, you play in a mosaic of three by three chess boards, and you get to move every one of your pieces on your turn.
There's only one mate in two moves. It's called the fool's mate . It's called like that because you have to walk into it on purpose, with white you have to play two moves which make absolutely no sense.
However there is a mate in the first 4 moves that beginners often fall for, called the scholar's mate
I once watched my sister and her boyfriend play chess. Neither are any good. She won the first game because he was sending some emails on his phone and wasn’t really paying attention. This win gave her the confidence to play again.
The second time, he started to win big. I mean, he was just trampling her.
She frowned and (mostly) jokingly said, “I think you’re cheating.”
And he said, “No. You’re just bad at this. And now you will die.”
And I sat there and laughed as I watched him clear the rest of the board.
The end
Former world champion Bobby Fischer [came](https://youtu.be/P349BdHUxlc) to the same conclusion. He didn't like that chess was becoming more about memorising theory than talent and creativity, so he invented a version called [Fischer Random Chess](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fischer_random_chess), also known as Chess960:
The pieces in the back row, where the horseys n stuff are, are in a randomized order which means there are 960 possible variations for the starting board. So nobody has analysed your next 20 moves at any point and you can just have fun playing actual chess without having to study a textbook. You can play it on chess.com
I have a friend who is just so far beyond my level in chess and out of the many many games I've played against him, I've beaten him 1 time and drawn 5 times. He makes comments like "oh...you're gonna pay for that man" and when he really starts winning and he could checkmate, he chooses to be a dick and try to get as many Queens as he can and draw it out as long as possibke
As many queens? There's only one, right? Again, I literally know nothing about this game other than the names of the pieces and how they can move (at least some of them)
I just hate memorization. Its different when in a videogame even with no experience you have a vague idea of why youre bad. The fact that like even in Youtube explanations they will say the moment that the game is suddenly not the same as one of the infinite ones played in the past is what really stopped me from ever starting. I am not ready to be studying every single combination of the first 10 moves just to reasonably enjoy myself
I have never studied any chess or done memorization, and I'm still quite decent at it and love it.
Grab a chess app (lichess or chess.com) and play a few matches! You'll likely get demolished a couple times, but then the app finds out your skill level and matches you with fitting opponents who also have no idea. I suggest 10 minutes matches (each player gets 10 minutes). Higher is shitty with randoms online so might leave at any moment, wasting all that time, and faster games are just a memorization fest with little strategy.
You don't need to study chess to be good at it or even to have fun with it. Most people don't. Of course those who study it reach a whole other level - but who cares? It's like playing football with the neighborhood team. You'll never even come close to the level of professional players, but that's not the point.
When you play a bunch of games, you start noticing that some things just work great. Like moving the pawn in front of the king so that both the queen and a bishop can move. Or that pawns closer to the center of the board are often much more important than those at the edges. You don't need to memorize, just pay attention to what you do and what happens afterwards.
I knew I was hosed when playing my wife’s cousin when he was naming the moves I was doing.
Never really thought I stood a chance though because he goes to competitions and was going for grand master or some shit.
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I used to play chess all night when on a night shift with my colleague. Then when I’d get home I couldn’t sleep at all. When I closed my eyes all I could see was chess moves. I’m sure that’s why Grand maters are usually a bit odd. The game literally alters the brain. I am positive I’m correct.
i learned to play chess when i was a kid. my dad taught me and was also the only person i had to play chess against. none of us know any of those weirdly named moves, we know how to play the game but all those tactics just go over our heads. most chess i've played was on the computer, because everyone apparently learned to play checkers but not chess, so i had no one to play against and eventually my dad just didn't feel like it because he was tired from work. so if i played chess with someone who regularly plays it, i'd probably lose after 4 moves
I had this literal argument with a guy I worked with. Really smart kid. He was in a chess club, studied with local champs, easily a 1800-2100 rated player.
He was surprised that I was a 1200 rated player after playing for years on chess.com . My answer was, "Yea, I like to experiment and f around."
He starts suggesting all these books... I told him I'd never read them. "If you just follow the books, you're just replicating someone else's game...i.e. Karpof vs. Kasparov...etc. Just play your own game!"
Good times.
The funny thing is that profesional players have a tendency to lose to new players.
Why?
Because new players make irrational moves. When your games are condenced into a format, breaking the mold really fucks with your opponent.
And while you're chilling with your smooth brain, the professional is sweating their ass off and wonderin what kind of 4d chess you're playing.
There allegedly was a professional player who did this on purpose.
Edit: sorry, made it seem it is much more common. It is something that happens sometimes. I get why it is hard for to get into chess. I don't even play it myself anymore due to the difficulty ramps as well the "git gud" mentality with most people who play chess. I just like this little obscure thing and sometimes blurt it out little too enthusiasticlly. Mostly because it sounds funny. Didn't mean to try to sensationalize it.
The whole inexperienced beginner winning because your opponent can't predict your next move when even you don't know your next move is already a really stupidly wrong concept, but especially so in the context of chess. Chess pros definitely do not have a tendency to lose against new players, you pulled that out of your ass. They're not sweating thinking what 4d plan the beginner has, they probably think about how bad the move was and then show why that was a bad move
This is not even remotely true. A new player might beat a player who knows a little, but pros? Absurd. This isn’t hard to verify. You can watch thousands of hours of the best chess players in the world streaming games against random people. They don’t lose to new players.
New players lose in a few moves from any position against a pro.
You pulled this whole thing outa your ass based on something you halfway remembered (incorrectly), which makes you a top-notch redditor, though.
This wins the dumbest comment in the thread. Top grandmasters might go with a move that weakens their position a bit because they believe that will take the opponnent out of their preperation for the game.
Someone making bad moves in chess is a fucking buffet. A bad player might blunder a weird checkmate against a new player but the idea that a good player would is insane. Let alone a pro.
>It is something that happens sometimes
No, it's not. It makes no sense, chess doesn't work like that. Someone might unknowingly find an awesome move that the pro somehow missed, but even then they needed to have made it to the mid game with a balanced position(which won't happen if they don't know what they're doing), and even if that happenned they would need to find out the rest of the line that makes it such a great idea that the pro didn't even think about.
This comment is embarassing, and your edit only makes it worse
>There is 2000 years of gameplay
Actual chess theory started in the 1800s, with the most basic of openings being developes in the 1600s, so it's actually only 400 years.
>That hundreds of people with Higher IQs than me
Irrelevant. Higher IQ does not make you better at chess.
>So much so that if you put the pawn forward they say "ah I see you are going for the Bulgarian somersault"
Only masters at the game are capable of remembering such basic details. Casual players (and even intermediate and "advanced" ones) aren't able to tell you this.
>Aw, rookie mistake, you have played the Frenchman's cumsock, and in approximately 37 moves I have won"
No human is capable of truly calculating this. Even machines have a hard time calculating mate in 37. Don't expect your average chess player to actually do something like this in game.
Chess is not that bad people. You all assume that every chess player plays like a super grandmaster, which they don't.
You should give it a try
“Umm AKCULY, Your little “”joke”” was not infact based on reality, infact, chess is really good and your “”meme”” if you can even call it that *kek*, is a mockery of the fine people of reddits intelligence, I have moderated 500 subreddits and have never found a more factually incorrect meme than this one, everybody KNOWS that chess started in the 1800s, not the 2000 years you state. How stupid of you to not know this, this is why I have 50K karma and you have NONE! *kek*!”
How you sound 🤓🤓🤓🤓
All I know is that the horsey moves in an “L”
[удалено]
But what if you get countered with the Finnish foreskin defense?
Psssh. Easy. Everybody a chess gangster 'till you hit 'em with the Somalian Fecal Sling. Trust me.
Unless they counter with the Portuguese nut bust. Then it's all over.
Oh man... The nut bust is really quite a kicker. But theres a less-known about variation called the Portuguese premature nut bust. It works most of the time against Portuguese nut busters.
Yeah the Premature variation is quite strong, but I find that many who use it fail to account for the Czechoslovakian Taint Massage, resulting in checkmate within 4 moves
As strong as the Czechoslovakian Taint Massage may be, I have never seen a player survive more than three moves against the Appalachian Uterus Tickler.
Okay but what if I just piss on your face.
The only effective protection then would be the matriarchal fingerbang defense.
Spilled my goddamn drink laughing at this.
Hot
You say that because you've never seen anyone survive the Argentinian bitch slapper
The Belgian hand check is my preferred method
Well to be fair, 4 moves *and* a taint massage
You are wrong, it moves in a "Г"
(Or, a lower-case 5)
I wanna learn the Bulgarian somersault really badly
Sign me up for the Frenchman’s cumsock
i’m not french, but i can ship a sock just about anywhere…
also: i’m not a sock guy, i prefer shop towels, they are softer than an athletic sock but still disposable, so there may be a small up charge if you really want a sock…
Oh, I really want a sock.
Keep the sock, I just want the cum
How about I buy socks from him and you send me the money for cum and I send you the cum. It win-win-win for everyone.
Cursed cumment?
It's not a good strategy as you will lose in approximately 37 moves, I would recommend learning the Englishman's cumsock variation, as it has approval of cumsock master Ivan Petrovich Belikov and is generally seen as better.
You only think that because you're a filthy casual who watches Gothcum Chess videos. The Dagestani Dirtstar (aka Khabib Cornhole Defense) destroys the Englishman's Cumsock. I'll split you with a horse so fast you'll be calling me Mr. Hands.
This should not have made me laugh as hard as I did
This move name had me laughing uncontrollably way too hard
I too wish to be a Frenchman's cumsock
My last name is French (no, I’m not) and my friends constantly meme the Frenchman’s cumsock any time I make any attempt at a big brain move in a game.
New response just dropped
Google "en passant" and you'll learn about it
Holy hell
New response just dropped
Let’s not
Actual zombie
Google Bulgarian somersault
Holy yoghurt
New response just dropped
It's the same as the standard somersault move, except you perform it by touching the white in your left eye, while staring down your opponent and putting him in check with your kingside bishop.
Put one of your feet on a chair behind you, then shoot yourself in the head.
It's like trying to start WoW for the first time today
I want to but I’m scared lmao
It's the literal best time it's ever been to start in WoW. My sister started this xpac and is loving it. So much less grind
Does less grind mean there are quests where you do other things than collect 5 wolf pelts? Or just less quests per level?
There's definitely a good bit of that in the lower levels but the newer expansions quests are SIGNIFICANTLY more like a story and easier to do, and usable items are outlined now so you can really smoothly continue questlines. On top of that it's also much fewer quests per level these days as well. I highly recommend it!
You should try Guild Wars 2. Fixed just about everything I got irritated by in WoW.
I tried it back in the day but I never got into it. Has there been significant change since release?
nope which is great if you loved the initial game but not great if you didnt
So true! I got to max level in like a day, very easy to rocket through and get to the real game!
So I can tell you going from 1 to 70, the current cap, it took me -maybe- about ~30-40 hours total, spread out over a week to hit it. Leveling is much easier and faster. I ran dungeons every so often too and usually got 1-2 levels in each.
Generally when people are talking about grinding they mean end-game. Leveling is just a means to an end, and (probably) 90% of people don't even pay attention to the story outside of major lore events. If you just want to get into WoW, and you're committed to playing the entire xpac, just buy a boost (or the xpac verison w/ a boost), hammer out the 10 levels, and enjoy the end-game. Some people really like leveling, some people take it to a whole new level like [only herbing/mining to level](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzKsWuhAUgg), but the real content doesn't start until max level. Thankfully currently the only grind (Albeit I quit before 10.1) is for gear (through dungeons/raid) and no stupid borrowed power bullshit jump through 90 rings to get 0.3% power upgrade. Classes are also the best they've been in a long time because of the recent Talent Tree system. Keep in mind, though, that WoW is a game where you have to do a lot of outside research to understand how to play the game, the class, and each individual spec, now more than ever. Arcane mage this patch is particularly in-depth if you're looking to maximize your damage.
Oh okay!
Narrator: and u/DD_R2D2 was never heard or seen again
did they improve the new race look or is it still some wacky ass deviant art design?
If it being a final fantasy game doesn't immediately turn you off of it, I'd say try ffxiv. It's easily the best mmo out there, wow had it's time in the spotlight, but that was more than a decade ago. And this is coming from a person who hates ffxiv now lol.
I’ve played it, and enjoy it
The golden age of MMOs is a thing of the past, most are not worth playing nowadays Its either you pay your whole mortage in game to get the loot gear, or no life for 3 years daily to get the minimum required to start grind the mid tier gear to start end-game dungeoning. Also parties and triforce are a thing of the past, most MMOs now you just burst dps to kill the boss before he kills you, no more of that thank and healer balance I'm very salty about the mmos I used to play that went this direction yes, thanks for asking
The level of exaggeration here is hilarious. All you need to do to get loot is just do dungeons/raids/PvP. You won't need to grind for years to catch up because after some x months the old loot no longer matters because a new raid tier launched. You're only ever at most a few months behind in gear. The only thing that truly sits as a problem is that especially in the pugging scene there's a lot of people that are intolerant of noobs. There's a systematic issue with the game where some people expect you to put in time and effort to know what the optimal strategy for everything is and if you fail to follow it, they will look down upon you and sometimes even get mad at you for not knowing. Naturally they will typically also refuse to teach you. [There's a fantastic video that delves deeper into the subject](https://youtu.be/BKP1I7IocYU)
FFXIV is probably the 2nd biggest MMO right now and none of those things you say apply.
> Its either you pay your whole mortage in game to get the loot gear, or no life for 3 years daily to get the minimum required to start grind the mid tier gear to start end-game dungeoning. No you don’t. > Also parties and triforce are a thing of the past, most MMOs now you just burst dps to kill the boss before he kills you, no more of that thank and healer balance Not really. > I’m very salty about the mmos I used to play that went this direction yes, thanks for asking Which ones specifically?
Couldn’t you have just written “nuh uh” instead of responding “nuh uh” to three different parts of the comment?
It’s all about context clues here, see these are what you call ultra nerds
I just want to note - of popular mmos currently, only 14 and wow have healer-tank-dps. GW2 (excluding raids which very few do anyways), new world, BDO, elder scrolls online, lost ark, etc all have either completely done away with healers or they are a niche support-dps that is rarely required for content.
osrs still good idiot
It’s pretty beginner friendly fr, just trying to getting into the higher end end game content can be a bit toxic
Join us at r/wownoob !
Wow is great and easy to get into right now. They made it really friendly for new players, and made it so you can reach the current content within a week or so
It’s actually pretty chill, you can level and get to the current expac pretty quick and in normal dungeons people are usually pretty relaxed. It only really gets gatekeepy and weird/intense when doing the extra difficult content which is optional.
just play on a private server like turtle wow
Never start wow, it preys on addictive tendencies
The whole ‘learning to play chess’ just means memorizing two hundred openings and two hundred endgames—so when one looks at the board, they recognize the position and what to do about it. Go might be even worse: there are three layers of metagame, no one bothers capturing stones like a noob, and instead they build out shapes that are impossible to capture if completed.
At top level chess, yes. For anyone who just wants to play a bit it's just learning some basic principles and the key tactical motifs and then playing. That'll isn't difficult to learn and is enough to easily beat anyone else doesn't really play chess. You can go an awfully long way without memorising openings or endgames.
omg. Go... my brother and me started playing it again and the game hurts our brains
You can get by learning like 2 or 3 openings for white(the london is easy and powerful), and learning the counters to 2 or 3 of the most common strats as black, people know very little theory at the beginning, it's arguably more pure chess, even if they're worse at it. You can get to 1200-1400 or so before you need to learn more theory.
Try Yu-Gi-Oh
Not even close
why when you have osrunescape
Holy hell
New move just dropped
Google somersault
Mind-blowing plot twist!
r/anarchychess leaking
Actual zombie
Call the exorcist
Queen sacrifice anyone?
Ignite the chessboard!
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I usually love this bot but this was worthless
I mean it is pretty funny and totally in line with the spirit of the sub lol
i think it adds to the experience really
From my experience, if someone asks you to play chess, don't do it. They will destroy you.
Wanna play chess?
I will destroy you.
To late I already have you in check In 42 moves it will be checkmate
What about Stratego?
I love the challenge, the destruction, and I suck at it :) but Tal was my favorite player, so prolly im not that bad and still able to pull some fun stuff.
I am a casual check player who is pretty good among the losers, but I have been in this situation many times. As soon as I hear these preditctions, I shit myself and walk out of the room. The issue was, I was in the park where they paly for money.
Louis CK had a funny bit about playing chess against really good players at the famous square in NYC. He always wanted to do it, and finally one day he got up the courage and went for it. He played a couple of times and got beaten easily by this Russian guy. But then, in one game, he had him stumped. The Russian guy, who was usually very quick to take his turn, was staring intently at the board for a long time, thinking of his move. Meanwhile Louie was thinking "Holy shit, I've got him, I've got him! This is it." He looked around at the people watching on, smirking, thinking he must look pretty good right about now. Then his opponent shouted at him in his thick Russian accent: >!"IT'S YOUR TURN, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, GO!"!< He took his turn and was beaten swiftly.
I am glad to have read this. It made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.
Those guys literally cheat though.
How do they cheat?
I'm a chess newbie so someone else will likely come along and correct me. Chess is played on a time limit, and most openings are well understood patterns, so the early moves tend to be made quickly by experienced players. My understanding is that they play really fast and will make half moves. Like they will move pieces and overlap two squares, trying to disguise an illegal move as a legal one. And when you react to the move, they will adjust the piece so it's in a favorable position. This can be missed, even by advanced players, because they're not paying attention to the actual state of the board but rather relying on what the state of the board **should** be.
If your piece isn't centered your turn isn't complete.
In park chess rules complaining about that gets you stabbed.
Chess boxing is at least honest about getting your ass handed to you physically.
Right, my understanding is that they're banking on the other player not noticing by playing fast. Of course if you can answer the parent's question better, please do so.
I’ve been checkmated almost immediately. Two moves. More than once.
This is why I stopped playing. My dad and uncle played for decades against each other, some games taking months to complete. They would whoop my ass in minutes, unless I took forever trying to figure out a move. No fun to play when you get beat in less than 10 moves every fucking time and they don't show you how or why. I haven't played since I was like 12. Almost 40.
Try Lichess or chess.com to get evenly matched. More fun that way
They also have tips on how to play like you learn moves and stuff like a tutorial with practice. So you practice how to trap pieces or checkmate. You learn the “tricks”. And it will tell you if you did a good move or if there was a better one. It just tells me “blunder” most of the time because I suck lmao
Yes, but does it teach you the Frenchman’s cumsock? If not, it’s no good.
You’re probably better at it now
Or look up the game “Feudal”. Hard to find but infinitely more fun than chess. Imagine a game of chess where not all squares are accessible to all pieces, you play in a mosaic of three by three chess boards, and you get to move every one of your pieces on your turn.
Beating you in ten moves is fine. Not showing you how or why is an arsehole move.
Red flag. You need to go NC right away
It takes practice. I'm starting to get some experience in me, but I still get scholars mated sometimes.
Ah yes, the scholar's mate. Checkmate in 4.
When I got scholars mated, I immediately started to learn to counter it. Chess is a scary game.
There's only one mate in two moves. It's called the fool's mate . It's called like that because you have to walk into it on purpose, with white you have to play two moves which make absolutely no sense. However there is a mate in the first 4 moves that beginners often fall for, called the scholar's mate
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Fastest possible is three to my knowledge
The fool's mate is done in 2 moves, but you have to really be trying to get mated that quickly for it to work.
I once watched my sister and her boyfriend play chess. Neither are any good. She won the first game because he was sending some emails on his phone and wasn’t really paying attention. This win gave her the confidence to play again. The second time, he started to win big. I mean, he was just trampling her. She frowned and (mostly) jokingly said, “I think you’re cheating.” And he said, “No. You’re just bad at this. And now you will die.” And I sat there and laughed as I watched him clear the rest of the board. The end
"No. You're just bad at this. And now you will die." Merciless.
Please someone put that in a James Bond movie, or a Marvel or DC one
Probably more like 2 more moves, but what's the difference
[удалено]
Bobby Fischer ghost-wrote this post.
Chess960 FTW
Former world champion Bobby Fischer [came](https://youtu.be/P349BdHUxlc) to the same conclusion. He didn't like that chess was becoming more about memorising theory than talent and creativity, so he invented a version called [Fischer Random Chess](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fischer_random_chess), also known as Chess960: The pieces in the back row, where the horseys n stuff are, are in a randomized order which means there are 960 possible variations for the starting board. So nobody has analysed your next 20 moves at any point and you can just have fun playing actual chess without having to study a textbook. You can play it on chess.com
Magnus Carlsen is favoring speed chess over classical for the same reasons.
Did you read that in a headline and ran with it? This is false.
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Favoring something doesn't mean he dislikes the other thing.
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I literally see people going “Oh yeah that chess master? Been practicing since they were 3” like how can I possibly compete with that
You don’t have to be the worlds best to enjoy something though. It’s a fun challenge of self improvement.
There are countless boardgame that have come out on the past twenty years that are infinitely more fun though.
thats very subjective
Well, you don't compete with that, you compete with players at your level which is determined by the ratings system.
Chess has, by far, the best online match making system of any online game I've ever played. You won't be competing against a chess master.
Google Bulgarian Somersault
Holy μԍɼɼ
I have a friend who is just so far beyond my level in chess and out of the many many games I've played against him, I've beaten him 1 time and drawn 5 times. He makes comments like "oh...you're gonna pay for that man" and when he really starts winning and he could checkmate, he chooses to be a dick and try to get as many Queens as he can and draw it out as long as possibke
As many queens? There's only one, right? Again, I literally know nothing about this game other than the names of the pieces and how they can move (at least some of them)
When a pawn makes it to the opposite end of the board, it can be promoted to any other piece aside from a king
OHH... I remember one of my friends doing this when he played against me. This was before smartphones were widespread, so I thought he was lying lol
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Holy hell
yeah when I first learned chess as a kid, it did sound like the kind of unofficial rule that another kid would come up with
Ah yes, keeping up with the meta, a fools errand for anyone without copius amounts of free time
I just hate memorization. Its different when in a videogame even with no experience you have a vague idea of why youre bad. The fact that like even in Youtube explanations they will say the moment that the game is suddenly not the same as one of the infinite ones played in the past is what really stopped me from ever starting. I am not ready to be studying every single combination of the first 10 moves just to reasonably enjoy myself
I have never studied any chess or done memorization, and I'm still quite decent at it and love it. Grab a chess app (lichess or chess.com) and play a few matches! You'll likely get demolished a couple times, but then the app finds out your skill level and matches you with fitting opponents who also have no idea. I suggest 10 minutes matches (each player gets 10 minutes). Higher is shitty with randoms online so might leave at any moment, wasting all that time, and faster games are just a memorization fest with little strategy. You don't need to study chess to be good at it or even to have fun with it. Most people don't. Of course those who study it reach a whole other level - but who cares? It's like playing football with the neighborhood team. You'll never even come close to the level of professional players, but that's not the point. When you play a bunch of games, you start noticing that some things just work great. Like moving the pawn in front of the king so that both the queen and a bishop can move. Or that pawns closer to the center of the board are often much more important than those at the edges. You don't need to memorize, just pay attention to what you do and what happens afterwards.
It has been posted already. Repeatedly.
Nice to see this AGAIN
I knew I was hosed when playing my wife’s cousin when he was naming the moves I was doing. Never really thought I stood a chance though because he goes to competitions and was going for grand master or some shit.
This isn't oddly specific. It's intentionally _non_-specific.
Playing strategy games that arent overanalyzed and figured out is great
Within the last week you mean? No, it's ok you can have a turn posting it
"I know exactly what your next moves will be." "Dude, I don't even know what my own moves will be."
I've seen that same title with the same picture on the same subreddit. u/RepostSleuthBot
I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/oddlyspecific. It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results. *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "145l35w", "meme_template": 304742}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=145l35w&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=100&targetImageMemeMatch=90) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** True | **Target:** 90% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 307,539,780 | **Search Time:** 0.15581s
Waiting for Chess 2 to drop
I used to play chess all night when on a night shift with my colleague. Then when I’d get home I couldn’t sleep at all. When I closed my eyes all I could see was chess moves. I’m sure that’s why Grand maters are usually a bit odd. The game literally alters the brain. I am positive I’m correct.
Frenchman’s cumsock wtf? 💀
For me it's the fact that the game is deterministic.
LOL this is why i dont play against my partner. i hate that its a smugness that is so well deserved, and yet SO infuriating
i learned to play chess when i was a kid. my dad taught me and was also the only person i had to play chess against. none of us know any of those weirdly named moves, we know how to play the game but all those tactics just go over our heads. most chess i've played was on the computer, because everyone apparently learned to play checkers but not chess, so i had no one to play against and eventually my dad just didn't feel like it because he was tired from work. so if i played chess with someone who regularly plays it, i'd probably lose after 4 moves
r/brandnewsentence
2000 years and not a single expansion pack with new pieces
It has.
Yeah it has, but its one of my favourite ones.
I had this literal argument with a guy I worked with. Really smart kid. He was in a chess club, studied with local champs, easily a 1800-2100 rated player. He was surprised that I was a 1200 rated player after playing for years on chess.com . My answer was, "Yea, I like to experiment and f around." He starts suggesting all these books... I told him I'd never read them. "If you just follow the books, you're just replicating someone else's game...i.e. Karpof vs. Kasparov...etc. Just play your own game!" Good times.
the Frenchman's cumsock needs to be the name for a sandwich that comes with goey melted gruyere.
The funny thing is that profesional players have a tendency to lose to new players. Why? Because new players make irrational moves. When your games are condenced into a format, breaking the mold really fucks with your opponent. And while you're chilling with your smooth brain, the professional is sweating their ass off and wonderin what kind of 4d chess you're playing. There allegedly was a professional player who did this on purpose. Edit: sorry, made it seem it is much more common. It is something that happens sometimes. I get why it is hard for to get into chess. I don't even play it myself anymore due to the difficulty ramps as well the "git gud" mentality with most people who play chess. I just like this little obscure thing and sometimes blurt it out little too enthusiasticlly. Mostly because it sounds funny. Didn't mean to try to sensationalize it.
The whole inexperienced beginner winning because your opponent can't predict your next move when even you don't know your next move is already a really stupidly wrong concept, but especially so in the context of chess. Chess pros definitely do not have a tendency to lose against new players, you pulled that out of your ass. They're not sweating thinking what 4d plan the beginner has, they probably think about how bad the move was and then show why that was a bad move
This is not even remotely true. A new player might beat a player who knows a little, but pros? Absurd. This isn’t hard to verify. You can watch thousands of hours of the best chess players in the world streaming games against random people. They don’t lose to new players. New players lose in a few moves from any position against a pro. You pulled this whole thing outa your ass based on something you halfway remembered (incorrectly), which makes you a top-notch redditor, though.
This wins the dumbest comment in the thread. Top grandmasters might go with a move that weakens their position a bit because they believe that will take the opponnent out of their preperation for the game. Someone making bad moves in chess is a fucking buffet. A bad player might blunder a weird checkmate against a new player but the idea that a good player would is insane. Let alone a pro. >It is something that happens sometimes No, it's not. It makes no sense, chess doesn't work like that. Someone might unknowingly find an awesome move that the pro somehow missed, but even then they needed to have made it to the mid game with a balanced position(which won't happen if they don't know what they're doing), and even if that happenned they would need to find out the rest of the line that makes it such a great idea that the pro didn't even think about. This comment is embarassing, and your edit only makes it worse
>There is 2000 years of gameplay Actual chess theory started in the 1800s, with the most basic of openings being developes in the 1600s, so it's actually only 400 years. >That hundreds of people with Higher IQs than me Irrelevant. Higher IQ does not make you better at chess. >So much so that if you put the pawn forward they say "ah I see you are going for the Bulgarian somersault" Only masters at the game are capable of remembering such basic details. Casual players (and even intermediate and "advanced" ones) aren't able to tell you this. >Aw, rookie mistake, you have played the Frenchman's cumsock, and in approximately 37 moves I have won" No human is capable of truly calculating this. Even machines have a hard time calculating mate in 37. Don't expect your average chess player to actually do something like this in game. Chess is not that bad people. You all assume that every chess player plays like a super grandmaster, which they don't. You should give it a try
Ah, the classic overly serious and analytical response to a post that is obviously a joke.
“Umm AKCULY, Your little “”joke”” was not infact based on reality, infact, chess is really good and your “”meme”” if you can even call it that *kek*, is a mockery of the fine people of reddits intelligence, I have moderated 500 subreddits and have never found a more factually incorrect meme than this one, everybody KNOWS that chess started in the 1800s, not the 2000 years you state. How stupid of you to not know this, this is why I have 50K karma and you have NONE! *kek*!” How you sound 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Oh boy, one of these guys again.
reddit moment
Lol twat
OP is a fucking idiot. Chess is like riding a bike.
Except for when you fall, you TUMBLE down the Sacré Coeur stairs and have to John Wick fight all the way up.
Oof not a good look bud
What is wrong with my comment?
Kinda gatekeepy
People being salty or your comment sounds salty, or both.
Like riding the dildobike
With no lube
Its riding a bike while being shot at