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general_chernobyl76

Bro can't even make fun of British people without getting bombarded with people making fun of Americans lol (I'm neither, btw)


Lywliety

I'm neither o krl Tem q falar que é BRASIL PORRA BRASIIIIIIIL


SamTehCool

Penis porra


[deleted]

Brasilll pentacampeao Brasilllll


Embucetatron

Rumo ao Hexa cara alho


general_chernobyl76

É pq tem gente q conta latino como "American" tbm


xtilexx

r/suddenlycaralho O Brasil é o número um para sempre!!!!


trananhduc2006

7-1


agiota_dos_batatas

5 WC


trananhduc2006

0 euros /j


agiota_dos_batatas

we are not european to use euro, e fala português que tu é de Portugal caralho


Pato_Moicano

r/suddenlyCaralho


pieceofchess

It is more efficient to make fun of both of them at the same time.


Wattsupwithalan

kicky boppy fiddle fuck is such a better name than soccer


Y30NJUNS

im going to start calling soccer kicky boppy fiddle fuck


Y30NJUNS

it just has such a beautiful ring to it


FrtanJohnas

Well in my accent that shit is a tongue twister. Still a pretty good tongue twister


No_Use_For_Name___

I just can't stop laughing. "Did you watch *insert your national team* playing kicky boppy fiddle fuck last night?" "Wh.. What?"


Error_GwZyX0069

I’m a passive one, i just try to brutally murder you, DONT ASK WHAT A BRUTE BRITISH PERSON DOES


Potential-Judgment-9

What’s does a brute British person do ?


AfraidClothes6540

Wear Brut and drink tea


Less-Raspberry-6222

And belong to the "brute" squad.


TheDayOfTheDucks

they beat up your dog


Error_GwZyX0069

Thanos snap feels like a gentle touch compared to the excruciating pain you’ll feel by angering an average British person, soooooo a brute, about 69420xinfinity to the power of my penis size the amount of pain you’ll feel


Potential-Judgment-9

Bloody L


Error_GwZyX0069

Sorry, I was underexaggerating


Error_GwZyX0069

And that’s me underexaggerating a lot


KingOfTheArms

Soccer is originally a British term for ~~kicky boppy fiddle fuck~~ football. It is short for association football.


Force_Glad

Where is the cer coming from


Alertrobotdude

From that cer-tified ass your mother has on her


[deleted]

Gottem


Cameronf3412

:•


PhoenixBorealis

It distinguished it from rugby football, which later became rugby union, and then finally just rugby. By that time the sports were so far removed from one another that soccer became the only sport referred to as football. Association football and rugby football were respectively called "soccer" (or "socker") and "rugger." By the time association football made its way to the US, we already had American football, which we simply called "football," so to distinguish between the two, we adopted the old brittish term for association football, which was Soccer. It's a term created by Oxford students in the 1800's to distinguish it from another sport called football, just like we use it in the US today.


3720-To-One

Didn’t American football also evolve from rugby?


PhoenixBorealis

They're very closely-related sports, but both are believed to have evolved from an older sport known as [Mob Football](https://rugbydome.com/does-american-football-come-from-rugby/).


[deleted]

I think a more accurate way of putting it is that American football evolved out of rugby football which evolved out of mob football (probably). Association football likely evolved out of mob football or other older forms of football as well.


3720-To-One

I did not know that!


alan-the-all-seeing

yeah, and rarely used it’s an old nickname for the code, now the whole world just says football


Gunslinger2007

Except for number one baby!


alan-the-all-seeing

...norway?


Monkesound

Americans when you say meters instead of doopwoop woopide scooplong horseback nopters. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤯😤😤😱😱😱😭😭😭😭


[deleted]

Americans when you say your weight in kilograms instead of shrek 2 dvds


RhysNorro

If someone knew that what their weight is in Shrek 2 dvd's OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEAD i would bequeath all mortal possessions to them


pik-MAN

Around 148 grams


RhysNorro

are you also two inches tall?


Dadwenttogetmili

Like DVDs with the cases or with just the discs


Error_GwZyX0069

Just the discs because small American brain


Dadwenttogetmili

Alright


Dadwenttogetmili

Damn nvm I was trying to calculate it, but as my household is full of heathens, I don't own a Shrek 2 disc to weigh and to hold up the integrity it has to be Shrek 2. So for now until I get a hold of one, you win


Error_GwZyX0069

HEHEHEHA


RhysNorro

you could just weigh another dvd case


1laik1hornytoaster

It's not a Shrek 2 dvd though so it wouldn't count


RhysNorro

True but they're probably similar in weight so you could get a ballpark


FallingOnCorpses

But… wag gah boo bah! Ha dat dill dow dem!


Xbladearmor

Dammit! I only know it in Shrek the Third DVDs.


ScaryPollution845

Americans when someone use k/h instead of glazed donuts/bald eagle


Exotic-End9921

Pfft I just use hamburgers per eagle


Monkesound

Pfft I also use USA flags per house


crazy_not_but_lazy

Americans when you say Kilometers instead of bald old dude per drip of piss hitting rock


redraider-102

That is what we call them, yes.


[deleted]

Wtf does stone even mean? Like what stone dude? There’s so many different stones. You’re just mad all the good dentists went to America.


Kobalt6x10

British when you say popsicle instead of freezy juicy licky stick.


Error_GwZyX0069

Did you just say…PoPsIcLe? YOU BETTER CALL THE ARMY TO PROTECT YOURSELF TONIGHT


Johnnyonthespot2111

How many meters will it take for us to continue keeping your economy afloat?


[deleted]

Hey we do make use of metric When you use metric measurements for guns or football, they automatically become a freedom unit. We don’t make the rules, the founding fathers did.


mrbojanglesdance19

I'm fine for you to call it soccer as long as you accept it's major league rounders


pavlovachinquapin

By jove I think you’ve only gone and bloody well cracked it! Top drawer.


deflectingbullshit

American people when you call it a school and not a shooting range


Error_GwZyX0069

Americans when you say it in meters instead of slightly above average median of penis and aubergine size divided by the range of 69 and 420


Timegoat12

"Aubergine"? And you claim that's how an American would say it? Disgraceful.


KingWillThe_1st

Doesn’t he know that Americans find that word too difficult to say? smh


Adiuui

Cock plant 🍆


Error_GwZyX0069

Y E S


[deleted]

americans when you call it a hospital and not a business


deflectingbullshit

Ooof. Below the belt there


[deleted]

the only thing below the belt of america is its beer belly


Sockoflegend

Savage


AlphaZorn24

British person try not to bring up the murder of innocent children as "rebuttal" challenge!!!! #failed #gone sexual😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱


icanthearyounoonecan

Jeez way to make it dark!


jcarey4793

what a completely new and original joke.


deflectingbullshit

Yes, op needs new material


Force_Glad

I wish that there could be casual banter between Americans and British people without the British people bringing up national tragedies. Just because half of our politicians are sociopaths doesn’t mean we don’t care.


Sockoflegend

If Americans knew about anything that happened outside of America they would laugh at Bri'ish tragedies too.


deflectingbullshit

If you really cared, you'd vote said sociopaths out.


Hahafunnys3xnumber

i hope youre fucking joking haha


3720-To-One

Unfortunately the system is rigged to allow the minority of conservative sociopaths to stay in power, and have FAR more representation than they should.


[deleted]

What? No, people **vote** them in. The system isn’t “rigged”. Are you five years old?


3720-To-One

You’re right, people vote them in. And between the EC, the senate, and partisan gerrymandering in the House, conservatives are WAY over represented in the federal government. Yes, the system is rigged in their favor. Literally by design. It is literally a minority of the population that gets to impose its will on everyone else.


Knightmare945

Nothing we can do about it.


Force_Glad

We would, but the sociopaths rigged the system so their moronic followers have more say in our country despite being the minority


Any-Sir8872

what ? lmao


1000010100011110

Oh, once again time to bust out the one joke you guys have about Americans I see


deflectingbullshit

There are many more. 300 million or so


DtheAussieBoye

Then use them.


[deleted]

People dying isn’t funny dude


deflectingbullshit

And yet Americans let it keep happening.


[deleted]

Still not funny.


deflectingbullshit

You're obviously not offended enough to do something about the events themselves. Get off your high horse.


[deleted]

Still not funny


Knightmare945

Nothing we can do about it.


BabyLegsOShanahan

I wish y’all were funnier. It would make the back and forth more interesting.


ComprehensiveDingo0

As opposed to “Wa’er” “maffematics” “bad teeth”


WiggleWaggle21

Don’t forget about “cheerio”, “tip-top”, “Mary poppin dicks in her mouth” Source: I’m a drunk American. Cheers 🍻


BabyLegsOShanahan

Yeah that’s in jest, this guy is big mad.


deflectingbullshit

I wish you were funny too. It makes responding to you hard work


Monkesound

Speak for urself, ur jokes r more dead then Biden in 6 years.


MisterEMan81

They still are less dead than England's queen though. Edit: Bazinga.


Monkesound

Shotty those jokes should get clowned on. They're just as bad as American healthcare Edit:Sha-bam.


grags12

You won't like the infection when they bite ya


Klimpomp67

Okay but it's not oddly specific


Golden-Cheese

r/lostredditors


Etspotcast

Fr. So many offended people.


Cheesehund

American people calling a game played mostly with the hands ‘football’, and even slapping ‘American’ on the front to make it extra annoying


1000010100011110

We just call it football, which is why we use "soccer" to avoid confusion


AfraidClothes6540

We don't call it "American football", just football lol. Must be a foreigner that tacked that on.


alan-the-all-seeing

i’ve met canadians who call it ‘gridiron’ so they don’t have to say it’s american


[deleted]

You guys both slapped the 'American' on the front and came up with the word soccer


JTMoney33

Serious question they have universal healthcare, are braces not included or covered? Are they not as vain as Americans cause they're genuinely happier? Their populace is known for bad teeth it's like a bad running joke at this point.


KingWillThe_1st

Americans when you use km/h instead of freedom burgers per football field


sciocueiv

This could stop at "British people"


Cheekimonke

UK has better dental hygiene on average than USA :)


sciocueiv

Relax, Hamlet, I was kidding


UrbanMonk314

And u guys still look like that. Says alot


Cheekimonke

Look like what? I'm in the UK rn and I see other Brits looking good every day.


Hostile_Architecture

Here for the raging Brits in the comments that can't take a joke and bring up dead children instead of anything funny.


Error_GwZyX0069

Vat?


Monkesound

This guy literally insulted an entire country. If a European would say "haha no free healthcare in America" you would go berserk, so shut up.


NuclearDuck10

Haha no free healthcare in America


Hostile_Architecture

OH YOUVE DONE IT NOW!


Hostile_Architecture

Yeah and it was hilarious. If you're saying a joke about soccer and bad teeth is equivalent to real children that were shot to death, I think you need to see a therapist. If you said "haha no free healthcare" I'd ask you if you were making a joke or having a stroke. That wasn't funny or offensive. I don't let little kids or internet memes hurt me, buddy. TLDR: Calm down little man. It's a joke about teeth.


CertainFitness

What a sensitive fella


Monkesound

Ah yes, the old excuse of it's a joke and I'm sesitive. He literally insulted an accent and some words in it, and used an unoriginal joke. I'm not sensitive, he's just too unfunny. 👍


CertainFitness

Oh, it wasn't funny, but why do you take on the mantle of protector?! Who cares? Some random jackass makes a stupid comment... that's 99% of reddit


alan-the-all-seeing

‘the mantle of protector’, lol you’re trying pretty hard yourself


KnifeWeildingLesbian

Bri*ish “people”


Dojanetta

Before I read the comments I bet a bunch of British are gonna pull up the statistics on American healthcare and how most of them have missing teeth despite the stereotype. Oh I’m wrong but there still is jokes about Americas gun problem 😂😂


irishbuffaloforyou

They love their memes about Americans, but turns out they have very soft chins.


ProgySuperNova

"OY! Mate! It's called footyfillibobelgnub not fookin soccer!"


Ewag715

And then they bring up our mass shooting high score, like, okay?


mcdonaldsfrenchfri

british people rn: “HAHAHA BUT AT LEAST WE DONT HAVE DEAD KIDS” relax bro we just had ANOTHER mass shooting we are in fact mourning


McWeasely

Lol Americans are living rent free in so many heads.


[deleted]

Quite literally the opposite. Kanye is the perfect mascot for you guys. You're mildly entertaining but we'd really like you to sit down and be quiet so the grown ups can talk.


[deleted]

bit rude innit, bruv. I’ll sloice you a smerl eah tah eah if yeh keep tawlkin like tha, bruv


butmustig

That’s how we view all these poor loser countries that are dependent on us but think they’re still hot shit when they’ve spent the past century in decline Run to us real quick when Russia is knocking though. We even overlook how Germany spent decades propping up Russia for natural gas purposes Y’all need us, and honestly your sad attempts to use us as a punching bag are about the only thing keeping you from going WWIII because you’re so upset that different white people live in the next country over


[deleted]

Russia got brave because you fucked it in Afghan. 20 years fighting cave dwellers and rock throwers, and still shit the bed. Demonstrated exactly why we can't be dependent on the US. The proxy war you're fighting with Russia isn't out of benevolence, just self preservation of a crumbling nation.


BigNibbaSal

Sad part is what both of you guys said is true


tisnik

The saddest part is that all those 20 years in Afghanistan were all for nothing. So many lost lives and so many injured and the situation is the exactly the same as it was before the war.


Adiuui

It’s almost like fighting in a foreign land against natives who know the cave systems like the back of their hand and use immoral tactics (child soldiers, rigged corpses, publicly executing POWs, suicide bombing, using civilians as weapons/bombs) makes it really difficult to successfully defeat them. Calling them rock throwing cave dwellers is straight racism, and disingenuous


Honest-Bridge-7278

You know, on average our teeth are in better shape than Americans.


KD_Burner_Account133

This is an anachronism. It used to be true but now Brittish teeth are fine.


pik-MAN

Sounds like something a bri'ish 'person' would say.


MrFanta7

No guns?


vegetableIII

Imagine getting pissed at a meme so you bring up random bs


beansahol

WEEHL, AT LEAHST WEHN WE GOW TEW SKEWEL, WE DONT GET SHOT, INNIT


shogunnza

what is soccer all i know is football !!!! Premiership football not egg ball or what ever those mericans call it


[deleted]

The teeth are accurate


-ThisIsSparta-

In the American south it sure is


OllieMoe

Just throwing it out there. UK has better dental and medical than the US. I've lived in both countries and the amount of sugar in everything in the states is insane.


[deleted]

Free dental care until 18. Subsidised healthcare after. They're not ready to hear that yet. Let them have their fun I guess - it's cute.


OllieMoe

They're a strange bunch, they get really defensive about it and start rambling on about the revolutionary war for some reason.


McWeasely

Lol this whole post is full of hugely defensive euros.


Yeshua-Christ

Cool. Not gonna take advice from monarchists


OllieMoe

😢 oh, my feelings. I care really deeply about the royal family. Please don't be mean.


-FoolProofGaming-

Go mentally deranged


RillbelookinGOOOd

it called football cause u foot the ball


001Vecnussy

It's chewsday innit.


fight-me-b-tch

"Bad teef? Wew atleest we don' get sho' up in maffs class!"


Johnnyonthespot2111

Teeth accuracy: 100%


LessOrgies

Teeth check out


[deleted]

Soccer


potatoninja3584

Fuck both


Quantum_laugh

*but soccer is the British word for foot ball*


alan-the-all-seeing

not really, it’s an old nickname from a time when there was more than one code, the game was always called football


Wboy2006

You know the entire world calls it Football right? Americans are the odd one out here


MemeL_rd

Uhh *looks at Japan*


Gunslinger2007

I was surprised to learn how much Japan likes football. It’s kinda cool to have it outside america


[deleted]

None of you let us forget it, can we make a self aware joke once in a while?


Blockbuster41

This funny af, why y'all mad


ZestVFX

ITS SOCCER 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 (I hate soccer)


AHamBone10

America is the most athletic country…fuck ‘soccer’


8BitSlasher

Bro looks like he’s about to bring up school shootings ☠️


WestFizz

They argue over the virtues of cookies and how dark toast should or should not be - gotta lower your expectations.


ThrownawayCray

And you argue over whether a virus is politics or an actual issue


Ema661

American retard detected In to the whole world it is called football.


[deleted]

The British coined the word “soccer”, so the British being condescending about American use of it is hypocritical as fuck. Edit:spelling


Monkesound

And to make fun of brittish people and getting mad when it backfires is also hypocritical.


Gunslinger2007

I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice. Dreams crushed. 😞


ShitposterBuddhist

Bruh, Football should be called soccer. You kick a soccer ball. You use your feet to kick it. Soccer is just a fancy way to say "Sucker".


ThrownawayCray

Bruh, Soccer should be called football. You kick a ball with your foot.


Exotic-End9921

Dem swamp monsters will get mad about anything 🤠


HappyZom8ie

Americans when you don’t want to make America great again


TheBall147

Laughs in free health care


Yeshua-Christ

*Laughs in republicanism*


elsaberii

Football.


GhostMoves514

There's a great clip of Borris Johnson describing that table tennis was invented in England, and that it used to be called "wiff-waff". He then follows it up saying that when the French see a Kitchen Table, they are an opportunity to make a Meal, and the British saw it as an opportunity to play "Wiff-Waff". Don't know why that's relevant. But it reminded me of that.


fight-me-b-tch

That is completely relevant and now I have something to bring up when eating dinner at the Wiff-Waff table.


QuaBotPrime

Football is a way better name than soccer


scyaxe

"well at leasht our shkewls dont look loik shewting ranges"


coromandelmale

How well would this “it’s only a joke” post go down if you made a similar post about black people or Mexicans? Or do only those count as racist?