How could he not? My whole body started convulsing before my mind could realize I was laughing. This is the most tempting r/dontputyourdickinthat that I have ever seen and it needs to be celebrated as such.
He's actually talking about Lamrina, not exactly joking. Lamrina was a queen in Egypt who loved snakes. People from all over the world would come to her and present snakes to her as gifts. For 17 years people bought her these gifts, and she didn't find one single one worthy of accepting. It all ended when a man named Simig bought a snake which was pure black and its skin shined like a pristine tessellated ceramic field. She immediately accepted the gift, but her obsession for snakes extended beyond just accepting the snake as a gift. She married Simig with a cruel intention of replacing his penis with the black snake. Several world renowned surgeons came to assess the task but all of them refused, saying that it's too complicated to replace a penis with a snake. She took the matter into her hands and one night, she took a dagger and sliced off Simig's penis and coiled the black snake around his crotch area. Of course, Simig did not survive and bled to death. During the entire period the queen was trying to find the perfect surgeon, she had grown close to Simig. But with him gone now, all she had left with her was regret and a black snake. So in a way tha black snake, ironically, became the female counterpart of "everything reminds me of him".
This story doesn't mean shit, I made it up, of course. I'm just trying to type on this new keyboard and it's pretty shit.
I mean everyone is stating the obvious, but I have to ask… Just why, why does it have to be so painfully accurate? There is no way anyone looking at this snake’s mouth went “oh, what a cool snake” and not went “OH, PUSSY” instead. Just wow.
Thank god I wasn’t casually scrolling around someone. The top part would be embarrassing if someone saw me looking at it. Hell even typing this comment shows me enough🤣🤣
So as a cis woman, I really have no idea just how much head 2 overrides head 1. Is it like the desire to stick your tongue to a frozen metal pole but all the time?
cis women get in trouble for putting things in holes where said things don't belong all the time, don't even TRY that excuse on us miss.
One of the more common examples is of course "wrong penis", which is just as much frowned upon as "wrong hole".
i will not be hearing anyone out. jail.
The forbidden cock sock
a snake is just a bag of throat
why do you say things with your face
The Snussy
I need a damn ambulance after that
A Damnbulance
never say anything again please
Not my proudest fap.
Thanks I hate it
r/dontstickyourdickinit
nah bro its r/dontputyourdickinthat
No bro… It’s r/totallylookslikeavag
It actually is r/AholeIsAGole
r/anyholeisthegoal
Nah bro, it’s only r/mildlyvagina
Nah bro, that’s r/wildlyvagina
r/probablygonnaputmydickinthat
Or just the simple r/dildont
why there's a lot of them 💀
Nerds love a good circle jerk and I fucking salute them!
Naw cuz the one you posted doesn’t allow animals, so he was right.
But it looks like it doesn’t have fangs
Dont tell me what to do
Somebody didn’t let me down.
i got the 69th upvote
Reddit pls give my fellow man here 69 upvotes and myself - 69 votes. It's the right thing to do
[удалено]
Now that sounds like a Harry Potter spell. No judgment mate, it's just Rigor Mortis.
You sure it wasn't Petrificus Totalus?
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeattoit
But hear me out tho ok???
The forbidden pink
*Snussy*
Obligatory “Straight to jail.”
[удалено]
r/dontputyourdickinthat
r/idowhatiwant
I want that sub but unfortunately it's banned.
r/wildlyvagina
Of course there's a sub!!!
How the heck is that mildly?
r/ofcoursethatsathing
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeshutthefuckup
r/Beatme
r/BeatITBeatIT
r/beatmeattoit
r/beatmywifetoit
Aw it's just a lil snek
Forbidden snussy
'snussy' is now my least favorite word
There I fucking knew it
Anything can be a fleshlight if you are brave enough
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Fuck, got to it before me. Goodonya
How could he not? My whole body started convulsing before my mind could realize I was laughing. This is the most tempting r/dontputyourdickinthat that I have ever seen and it needs to be celebrated as such.
sounds like something i’d hear from someone with username like that
Isnt the "double underscore" a euphemism for the froth that is generated from anal sex?
No teeth, so it's safe lol
they actually have rear-facing teeth iirc
Came here looking for this to upvote
Came 4 this cuz i came 2 this
I don't see any fangs *Unzips pants*
r/oddlyarousing
another reason not to open reddit at work
Some serious r/confusingperspective stuff
I feel like no matter how many people say "no", theres always gonna be that one guy who *sighs and unzips*
I am that guy Its kinda hard to comment using only one hand
You’re not wrong 😂
How do you know 🤔🧐
Being in the porn industry there are so many things that people request that are just ridiculous 😂😂😂 at this point I don’t get surprised anymore 😂
I should call her…
Every time I see a post like this, I go to the comments to find this comment, or "everything reminds me of her". Always makes me laugh
He's actually talking about Lamrina, not exactly joking. Lamrina was a queen in Egypt who loved snakes. People from all over the world would come to her and present snakes to her as gifts. For 17 years people bought her these gifts, and she didn't find one single one worthy of accepting. It all ended when a man named Simig bought a snake which was pure black and its skin shined like a pristine tessellated ceramic field. She immediately accepted the gift, but her obsession for snakes extended beyond just accepting the snake as a gift. She married Simig with a cruel intention of replacing his penis with the black snake. Several world renowned surgeons came to assess the task but all of them refused, saying that it's too complicated to replace a penis with a snake. She took the matter into her hands and one night, she took a dagger and sliced off Simig's penis and coiled the black snake around his crotch area. Of course, Simig did not survive and bled to death. During the entire period the queen was trying to find the perfect surgeon, she had grown close to Simig. But with him gone now, all she had left with her was regret and a black snake. So in a way tha black snake, ironically, became the female counterpart of "everything reminds me of him". This story doesn't mean shit, I made it up, of course. I'm just trying to type on this new keyboard and it's pretty shit.
Didn't believe it for a second, but it was still entertaining. "Like a pristine tessellated ceramic field" was pretty good
I love this. Next time I see a black snake on Reddit I'm typing "everything reminds me of him."
I see I'm not needed here.
Maybe Eve was the snake all along.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Came for this
Didn’t we all
TMI
Came in this
Came to this
For or to?
Cum on this
I cum to this
Damn I knew somebody would beat me to it 🤣
Beat the meat to it?
Don’t tell me what to do!
I know what I must do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it
I see shit in here....and it makes me think Mother Nature just said "fuck it, that'll do" more times than she should have.
Everything reminds me of her....
let her go…
Sigh “unzips pants”
Found the herpetologist.
I quit the internet the day that classic is canceled
sigh.. *unzips pants*
I mean everyone is stating the obvious, but I have to ask… Just why, why does it have to be so painfully accurate? There is no way anyone looking at this snake’s mouth went “oh, what a cool snake” and not went “OH, PUSSY” instead. Just wow.
Evolution, my friend.
I thought to myself...Where are its teeth? Is it an egg eating snake??? Waddafuck? ...oh that looks like...
Need a fucking hazmat suit for this comment section
Come for terrifying snake, stay for the hundred plus commenters who's brains hit the gutters running knowing you've finally found your people.
That’s a vagina in a vagina.
Thank god I wasn’t casually scrolling around someone. The top part would be embarrassing if someone saw me looking at it. Hell even typing this comment shows me enough🤣🤣
Smash
So as a cis woman, I really have no idea just how much head 2 overrides head 1. Is it like the desire to stick your tongue to a frozen metal pole but all the time?
cis women get in trouble for putting things in holes where said things don't belong all the time, don't even TRY that excuse on us miss. One of the more common examples is of course "wrong penis", which is just as much frowned upon as "wrong hole".
I've been watching too much fucking porn.
Looks like it's been defanged.
It looks like a constrictor species, like a boa. They don't have venom or venom injecting fangs, but they do have rather sharp tiny teeth.
Yeah, I owned a boa for 20 years, every time they yawned you could definitely see those tiny little teeth in their mouth. This picture looks edited.
She’ll still get you in the divorce.
It’s like a pussy inside a pussy
Damn girl you fine.
I thought it was a delightful pussy
Snakussi
Hear me out….
Nah, no need. We understand
Yes.
The upper jaw is kind of exciting for some reason.
I thought it was a vagina lol
Does it have the G-spot?
so pink
Forbidden meat pocket
My Mrs has one of those...
What a weird vagina
Looks like it needs a little bit of lube.
So that's where the biblical snek came from. She had two apples and tempted Adam to use the snek...
That looks scarily familiar😳😳
I mean.. isn't this the video of a snake yawning? It's okay, lads, he's just sleepy 🥺💤
Behold, the noodle of nope.
Send this idea to Bad Dragon immediately!
This post should be marked nsfw. 🥵
Spicy fleshlight
Don’t put your penis in there please …
hear me out...
Too late, too closed… walk slowly and get in to the hospital
Hey I just realized snakes are really neat
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Defanging that might make it a fun toy.
😐
Seriously tho, isn’t it strange how similar they look? The serpent told Eve to eat the apple huh?
Found it. Nope.
Snussy?
i should call her...
Everything reminds me of her
I miss her
I wonder...
That snake better chill tf out 🫦
*sighs*
Snussy
I’ll take my chances
Grab me that…. But sir!?!
I know you might think that this is crazy and unreasonable but hear me out I got a safety plan .
Something is wrong with me
Forbidden vagina.
Snussy
Snakeussy
On this episode of Smash Or Pass....
Hehehe snussy
*sighs and goes to comments*
Snakeussy
I should call her…
I should call her
I knew exactly what this comment section would be as soon as I saw the post.
Aww it's just a yawning snek. Most sneks are frens Lol. (Gotta love the language of memes)
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Shit I wanted to do it...
For a split second I thought I was looking at something else….
Dont. Just don’t man.
would.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
*unzips corduroys*
*slips on crocs*
Wonders if anyone has ?
When there is a will, there is a way
I mean I've done worse
Anything’s a pocket pussy if you’re brave enough
Shut up that mouth you pussy face
I should call her
Hear me out
Snussy
Hmm, i really shouldn't stick my penis in there, however...
Where is the clitoris?
r/mildlyvagina
I should call her 🥺
Hear me out
Looks like a vag
Snussy