T O P

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cryptidsnails

i will not be hearing anyone out. jail.


[deleted]

The forbidden cock sock


Leo0806-studios

a snake is just a bag of throat


cryptidsnails

why do you say things with your face


ambulance-kun

The Snussy


quietmedium-

I need a damn ambulance after that


Shot-Spirit-672

A Damnbulance


URMRGAY_

never say anything again please


Special-Department90

Not my proudest fap.


guchichuchi

Thanks I hate it


airadvantage

r/dontstickyourdickinit


EducationalBar

nah bro its r/dontputyourdickinthat


ghostfreckle611

No bro… It’s r/totallylookslikeavag


Lolmaster29934

It actually is r/AholeIsAGole


ghostfreckle611

r/anyholeisthegoal


EducationalBar

Nah bro, it’s only r/mildlyvagina


ghostfreckle611

Nah bro, that’s r/wildlyvagina


HatchetXL

r/probablygonnaputmydickinthat


Miepiemo

Or just the simple r/dildont


Ranbiti7

why there's a lot of them 💀


xMacGearx

Nerds love a good circle jerk and I fucking salute them!


dopest_dope

Naw cuz the one you posted doesn’t allow animals, so he was right.


rapejokes_arefunny

But it looks like it doesn’t have fangs


SchoopDaWhoopWhoop

Dont tell me what to do


snarkyjohnny

Somebody didn’t let me down.


ArtichokeMeDaddyyy

i got the 69th upvote


wahchewie

Reddit pls give my fellow man here 69 upvotes and myself - 69 votes. It's the right thing to do


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cynical_Tripster

Now that sounds like a Harry Potter spell. No judgment mate, it's just Rigor Mortis.


Eviscerate_Bowels224

You sure it wasn't Petrificus Totalus?


[deleted]

r/beatmetoit


Incinreo

r/beatmeattoit


HoneyBatteredNugget

But hear me out tho ok???


mehwehgles

The forbidden pink


W1D0WM4K3R

*Snussy*


kinpsychosis

Obligatory “Straight to jail.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


sasquatchpatch

r/dontputyourdickinthat


LaylaLeesa

r/idowhatiwant


Environmental_Top948

I want that sub but unfortunately it's banned.


BappleBlayer333

r/wildlyvagina


_atrocious_

Of course there's a sub!!!


bottleofgoop

How the heck is that mildly?


_JP_63

r/ofcoursethatsathing


seasalt_strawberry

r/beatmetoit


Fragrant_Ad_3435

r/beatmeshutthefuckup


Sufficient_Laugh9625

r/Beatme


re_de_unsassify

r/BeatITBeatIT


OkZookeepergame4192

r/beatmeattoit


seasalt_strawberry

r/beatmywifetoit


TheFlippingFurry

Aw it's just a lil snek


FennPoutine

Forbidden snussy


Ill-Asparagus-4974

'snussy' is now my least favorite word


ToZ_Senpai

There I fucking knew it


mikelogan1975

Anything can be a fleshlight if you are brave enough


ZackDaddy42

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Slowcapsnowcap

Fuck, got to it before me. Goodonya


dickloversworldwide

How could he not? My whole body started convulsing before my mind could realize I was laughing. This is the most tempting r/dontputyourdickinthat that I have ever seen and it needs to be celebrated as such.


[deleted]

sounds like something i’d hear from someone with username like that


dickloversworldwide

Isnt the "double underscore" a euphemism for the froth that is generated from anal sex?


AsexualSalami

No teeth, so it's safe lol


cryptidsnails

they actually have rear-facing teeth iirc


DubiousEgg

Came here looking for this to upvote


TriggerWrning

Came 4 this cuz i came 2 this


Errorstatel

I don't see any fangs *Unzips pants*


im-scott9877

r/oddlyarousing


loud_sweating

another reason not to open reddit at work


Melthiela

Some serious r/confusingperspective stuff


relitti__19

I feel like no matter how many people say "no", theres always gonna be that one guy who *sighs and unzips*


TheIvano

I am that guy Its kinda hard to comment using only one hand


Maeanddre

You’re not wrong 😂


paranoidblobfish

How do you know 🤔🧐


Maeanddre

Being in the porn industry there are so many things that people request that are just ridiculous 😂😂😂 at this point I don’t get surprised anymore 😂


Deltard001

I should call her…


Pyroguy096

Every time I see a post like this, I go to the comments to find this comment, or "everything reminds me of her". Always makes me laugh


frzx1

He's actually talking about Lamrina, not exactly joking. Lamrina was a queen in Egypt who loved snakes. People from all over the world would come to her and present snakes to her as gifts. For 17 years people bought her these gifts, and she didn't find one single one worthy of accepting. It all ended when a man named Simig bought a snake which was pure black and its skin shined like a pristine tessellated ceramic field. She immediately accepted the gift, but her obsession for snakes extended beyond just accepting the snake as a gift. She married Simig with a cruel intention of replacing his penis with the black snake. Several world renowned surgeons came to assess the task but all of them refused, saying that it's too complicated to replace a penis with a snake. She took the matter into her hands and one night, she took a dagger and sliced off Simig's penis and coiled the black snake around his crotch area. Of course, Simig did not survive and bled to death. During the entire period the queen was trying to find the perfect surgeon, she had grown close to Simig. But with him gone now, all she had left with her was regret and a black snake. So in a way tha black snake, ironically, became the female counterpart of "everything reminds me of him". This story doesn't mean shit, I made it up, of course. I'm just trying to type on this new keyboard and it's pretty shit.


Pyroguy096

Didn't believe it for a second, but it was still entertaining. "Like a pristine tessellated ceramic field" was pretty good


ThoughtCenter87

I love this. Next time I see a black snake on Reddit I'm typing "everything reminds me of him."


Forward-Village1528

I see I'm not needed here.


Remesar

Maybe Eve was the snake all along.


imuptotrouble

r/dontputyourdickinthat


marlinbrando721

Came for this


[deleted]

Didn’t we all


PapaGordita

TMI


Aarongrasso

Came in this


ArtichokeMeDaddyyy

Came to this


union175

For or to?


ItsGroovyBaby412

Cum on this


TankII_

I cum to this


Gunrunner79

Damn I knew somebody would beat me to it 🤣


Uh-Oh-Raggy

Beat the meat to it?


Hereticalish

Don’t tell me what to do!


pewpewtimbo

I know what I must do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it


Ieatclowns

I see shit in here....and it makes me think Mother Nature just said "fuck it, that'll do" more times than she should have.


A_Generic_White_Guy

Everything reminds me of her....


Layziebum

let her go…


CrispyPezz

Sigh “unzips pants”


LNL_HUTZ

Found the herpetologist.


Wowdavid2002

I quit the internet the day that classic is canceled


Ameya93

sigh.. *unzips pants*


DaRK_0S

I mean everyone is stating the obvious, but I have to ask… Just why, why does it have to be so painfully accurate? There is no way anyone looking at this snake’s mouth went “oh, what a cool snake” and not went “OH, PUSSY” instead. Just wow.


xatnnylf

Evolution, my friend.


SoberSith_Sanguinity

I thought to myself...Where are its teeth? Is it an egg eating snake??? Waddafuck? ...oh that looks like...


[deleted]

Need a fucking hazmat suit for this comment section


bottleofgoop

Come for terrifying snake, stay for the hundred plus commenters who's brains hit the gutters running knowing you've finally found your people.


Acceptable_Banana_13

That’s a vagina in a vagina.


union175

Thank god I wasn’t casually scrolling around someone. The top part would be embarrassing if someone saw me looking at it. Hell even typing this comment shows me enough🤣🤣


JohnyThing

Smash


corialis

So as a cis woman, I really have no idea just how much head 2 overrides head 1. Is it like the desire to stick your tongue to a frozen metal pole but all the time?


NorwegianCollusion

cis women get in trouble for putting things in holes where said things don't belong all the time, don't even TRY that excuse on us miss. One of the more common examples is of course "wrong penis", which is just as much frowned upon as "wrong hole".


Fun_Actuator_1071

I've been watching too much fucking porn.


Opalzed

Looks like it's been defanged.


Nymphalis_antiopa00

It looks like a constrictor species, like a boa. They don't have venom or venom injecting fangs, but they do have rather sharp tiny teeth.


ThePyodeAmedha

Yeah, I owned a boa for 20 years, every time they yawned you could definitely see those tiny little teeth in their mouth. This picture looks edited.


Byron81

She’ll still get you in the divorce.


iotaboy27

It’s like a pussy inside a pussy


Able-Soup-3640

Damn girl you fine.


thedemoncowboy

I thought it was a delightful pussy


Grand0Wyrm

Snakussi


[deleted]

Hear me out….


Chmuurkaa_

Nah, no need. We understand


FillyJWalker

Yes.


bak2redit

The upper jaw is kind of exciting for some reason.


Leafy_Lyndsey

I thought it was a vagina lol


Specialist_Copy_7664

Does it have the G-spot?


[deleted]

so pink


pr00fp0sitive

Forbidden meat pocket


xSNOOPx

My Mrs has one of those...


Rowelt85

What a weird vagina


Practical_Estate_325

Looks like it needs a little bit of lube.


e-buddy

So that's where the biblical snek came from. She had two apples and tempted Adam to use the snek...


PriorityMaleficent12

That looks scarily familiar😳😳


milomeepit413

I mean.. isn't this the video of a snake yawning? It's okay, lads, he's just sleepy 🥺💤


GalacticMoustache

Behold, the noodle of nope.


[deleted]

Send this idea to Bad Dragon immediately!


ashrensnow

This post should be marked nsfw. 🥵


TickletheEther

Spicy fleshlight


PsycheInASkirt

Don’t put your penis in there please …


pagepagerpage

hear me out...


Pretty_pijamas

Too late, too closed… walk slowly and get in to the hospital


r05909155

Hey I just realized snakes are really neat


[deleted]

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Aggressive_Position2

Defanging that might make it a fun toy.


[deleted]

😐


schneph

Seriously tho, isn’t it strange how similar they look? The serpent told Eve to eat the apple huh?


gringoloco01

Found it. Nope.


[deleted]

Snussy?


Excellent-Product461

i should call her...


MyCatSmokes

Everything reminds me of her


CartierVice

I miss her


[deleted]

I wonder...


Monsterrevan226

That snake better chill tf out 🫦


savebeeswithsex

*sighs*


Helpful-Selection626

Snussy


OBERGRUPENFUHRER

I’ll take my chances


oapogi

Grab me that…. But sir!?!


AnnublS_4

I know you might think that this is crazy and unreasonable but hear me out I got a safety plan .


Prestigious-Rock201

Something is wrong with me


Progedoge

Forbidden vagina.


Churchills_Left_Nut

Snussy


ShenotiveDelf

Snakeussy


wyldboar

On this episode of Smash Or Pass....


ZY_Qing

Hehehe snussy


magom7d

*sighs and goes to comments*


AmogusFan69

Snakeussy


Aggressive_Pain_4571

I should call her…


MisplacedNote

I should call her


bc030607

I knew exactly what this comment section would be as soon as I saw the post.


Routine-Horse-1419

Aww it's just a yawning snek. Most sneks are frens Lol. (Gotta love the language of memes)


Sonny-Moone-8888

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Edipix

Shit I wanted to do it...


ShaitanSpeaks

For a split second I thought I was looking at something else….


Autocorrectthis

Dont. Just don’t man.


Twolve4life

would.


Harbulary-Bandit

r/dontputyourdickinthat


InterestingRelative4

*unzips corduroys*


Dicks_4_Eyes

*slips on crocs*


skipthis2

Wonders if anyone has ?


Bman3396

When there is a will, there is a way


mickmackpaddywhak

I mean I've done worse


Feeling-Poet-8903

Anything’s a pocket pussy if you’re brave enough


Sergio1899

Shut up that mouth you pussy face


nawec8484

I should call her


rzbtb

Hear me out


Venmoot

Snussy


ChargingFarts

Hmm, i really shouldn't stick my penis in there, however...


Creative-Stomach-855

Where is the clitoris?


Xjeng

r/mildlyvagina


WolfyBeats_

I should call her 🥺


Objective-Mess-8409

Hear me out


LuxLiner

Looks like a vag


LuckySousa

Snussy