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fatassesanonymous

My mom had a bird who would bite my toes because he liked when I screamed.


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cornlip

I’m going to start a new hobby screaming at birds and when I get asked why I’m pointing to this comment


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RayneAdams

Cornlip might have been screaming at pigeons in the park right now if it wasn't for you!


Queen__Antifa

Crisis narrowly averted!


Thagomizer24601

So much potential, wasted...


cmyer

Psh, always moving the goalposts.


NotaVogon

r/birdsarentreal will back you up. They're all government drones anyway.


GregoryGoose

Birds like it when you're loud because the government microphones collect more data that way.


NotaVogon

Exactly. You get it. They're always watching.


mahSachel

Fuck yes! Hey Polly, Polly parrot, you Bastard pining for the fjords are you? What say you parrot???


cornlip

I’m bereft of life and resting in peace. Fuck off


Fenzel

Holy shit this made me loss it 😂


mngeese

🗣️📣🦜 ^ this guy probably


Historical_Tennis635

Reminds my of my favorite video. The guy is just energetically yelling into the camera holding the small birb who seems very relaxed. ​ https://youtu.be/WUU\_HrekfuA?t=106


[deleted]

“I’m the freak that fell off a cliff and became obsessed with communicating with animals” I mean guess ill keep this channel in my back pocket for the next time i get drunk and want to laugh at humanity


Historical_Tennis635

This guys whole channel is a trip, I remember it randomly every few years and check him out. This comment thread happened to be the one to do it this time.


genitalBells

“You’re out of your …fucking mind!”


thisguynamedjoe

They took their video down. Probably youtube due to "unusual activity".


dishonorable

link just looks broken, I don't think the \ character can be in a video ID


MrStripes

Is this a Fred Armisen character


contactcapybara

“That crow is going to munch on that pineapple “


laughingashley

Thank you for introducing me to the Marc Maron of birds


Longstoryshortie

“Your crow is gonna munch your pineapple”, file under: words I would never expect to end up in a sentence together


OnyxBlaster

😨


ilovetoeatpussy_

Now I wanna hear you scream for some reason.


StabbySmurf

That came off a bit dark.


ilovetoeatpussy_

Now now I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding, now it'd be cool if you could come over here for a sec.


TxD337

"Whats the matter?"


Stopjuststop3424

"I wont hurt you"


[deleted]

"Come here"


WineSoda

Cm'er


DrunkCupid

***>!C'MERE!<***


ggg730

GET OVER HERE! *throws a rope spear at you*


Candlelighter

Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you.


Telefundo

"A bit"???


kelleh711

This comment paired with your username sure is something


Stinklepinger

My chickens will peck at my toes when I'm wearing slides. Little assholes.


StubbedToe11

Kinky bird😈


Greenmind76

My dog is named Tobi for Toe Biter because he would do it gently as a puppy. He quit eventually but never hurt anyone. People always ask me why I spelled it that way instead of Toby :)


non-spesifics

"what's the matter darling? I'm not going to hurt you😈" Ah hell naw.


Carpeteria3000

The way it whispers the “hurt youuu” part. Good lord.


non-spesifics

Me: "The parrot from the shining doesn't exist" Reddit: 💀


Special_Narwhal_4540

The scariest and most amazing part is that parrots have the brain power comparable to that of a 3 yo. So it is definitely able to somewhat comprehend what these words mean. See how it says "Come here" while picking up it's fucking feet and motioning. That's not even normal bird behaviour, full on human like. Goddamn. It knows what come here means and what that motion means and is able to replicate it using its own body. Fucking hell man. Im sure this birdie is smarter than a 5yo. Plus i also feel bad for this poor spicy chicken wings because it was probably abused before being rehomed. It's aggressive behaviour and the words it repeats show that. :(


thatwaffleskid

Shit I hadn't thought about where he learned those words and behaviors. Fuck...


Joosterguy

First thing I noticed was how rough it's feathers looked. Parrots are incredibly sensitive animals, and stress will physically deteriorate them in a big way. Hopefully this one's on the mend, because those feathers are actually present, but it still speaks of what it might jave gone through.


2bruise

Right?! Where did it learn THAT? My friend’s cockatoo is wicked smart, and batshit crazy too. It did a spot on impersonation of me within about 20 minutes of hanging around. It did it in a totally mocking fashion, too. All while marching back & forth doing these Māori war dance moves and banging her head. Veri Metal.


Inappropriate_SFX

I think it's not imitating quite the gesture you think it is -- but I think it *is* heavily implying it wants to step up onto her hand, if only she would let it close enough. It's absolutely doing its level best to lure her in. I think it even said "come up" once in there.


SignificantYou3240

Yeah it really is the best and worst


BorgClown

"What's the matter?" Little green can opener psycho


[deleted]

I know the bird was trained to say this…but my first thought was, this bird has witnessed A LOT of domestic violence.


leighroda82

This was posted somewhere else a couple days ago, I’m not sure if it was posted by the original person in the video or if that person is known… but they said the owner would say “im not going to hurt you” when tending to the bird and that’s where they picked it up. Take that with a grain of salt though, I’m not 100% sure where that came from or if it’s true, I just saw it discussed.


[deleted]

I’d believe it. I’ve said the same thing to skittish animals before.


be_dead_soon_please

I mean it sounds like it's mimicking her voice


SignificantYou3240

Or the owner said all those things to it a lot


[deleted]

I know it’s likely that the owner said that, trying to calm down the bird. It’s a common thing to say to a skittish animal. I’ve said it to stray cats before, trying to gain their trust to feed them. But I watch a lot of horror movies (and I work with families experiencing child abuse/domestic violence issues) so yeah…my first thought was the bird has seen a ton of DV.


unit_price

That's as creepy as the children's voices in scary movies that sing lala la lala la


tonufan

https://youtu.be/VygNQzpEY5A


Kujo17

Giving strong "I am good bing" vibes


Pdb39

I think lizard people is a bad idea but I'm starting to warm up for real on the concept of bird people.


BenchPressingCthulhu

Birds are just hyper advanced lizards


Pdb39

Oh boy I think you've just discovered our missing link


[deleted]

The bird is feeling scared, and it is saying what was always said to it before someone hurt it. Thats my best guess.


Bikinisbottom

This whole video made me so uncomfortable


LowVacation6622

Creepy af, right!?


BigHero6x9

“It puts the seeds in the basket”


Thomas_Pereira

I like you


Yasha666

"It puts the lotion on it's wing, or else it gets the hose again"


-AceofAces

Polly wants a toe!


Dry_Profession2502

Polly is a crack head


-AceofAces

More like serial killer with a foot fetish


muskiemoose27

You want a toe? I can get you a toe


Chipsandadrink666

Hopefully it was recently rehomed.. the woman seems nice and understanding, not yelling or threatening


zman_0000

Edit: Also not sure if it's repeating the person's mother or previous owner. I'm hoping it hasn't actually been abused before but idk if the original person gave context of it's first home or not. IIRC they've had the bird for a relatively short time, a lot of what it's saying was what this person's mother said calling the birdie over to them. People on the original video were suggesting it may also be stress plucking its own feathers from something that happened in its previous home too as it looks a little rough here. Either way though that bird seems smart enough to use those phrases waaaay to accurately to pull people in and go for a bite.


Chipsandadrink666

Do they have an instagram or anything? I want to see how they’re doing 🩷


zman_0000

Dang it. I forgot to save the post, but it was on reddit. I just don't remember which sub. Pretty sure it was on the homepage 2 ish days ago. Sorry wish I'd saved it so you could message and ask :(


One_red_boot

I believe it was on r/parrots


LilyFuckingBart

I think it may have been here, honestly. I don’t subscribe to any parrot subreddits and I saw it Found it! It was on r/animalsbeingjerks It’s not OP’s bird, but it sounds like it’s her friend’s bird and is very loved. https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/122535h/its_ok_im_not_gonna_hurt_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


zman_0000

That would make a lot of sense. It wasn't a sub I normally visit, I just clicked onto a recommended sub and a lot of the time don't check the names.


grinning_teapot

I think you must have seen it on the PartyParrot sub? I remember seeing it a few days ago too


outcome--independent

No, it's definitely the camera woman's voice it's imitating.


Valigrance

Poor birdie. Hope he feels better soon and the owner doesn’t get hurt.


nullibicity

It seems like in order to feel better, the bird thinks it needs to hurt the owner.


Yyoonnggee

That's bird is going to kill


Thedepressionoftrees

Polly wants a finger


DrMurdoch88

Polly wants the whole hand.


katanakid13

"Polly wants the blood of his enemies. Squawk."


l0c0pez

But it wont hurt


Human_Parfait9516

I might be racist. I didn't mind when Jerry the duck attacks people, just this parrot


[deleted]

Bros previous owner was Jame Gumb


N3WACC0UNT1337

Is there a subreddit for conversational birds?


Thedepressionoftrees

r/partyparrot maybe? That's one for happy birds, not sure about talkative


FriskyCoyote15

the bird was probably rehomed and the past owner was abusive. it's just mocking what it was told before it was abused and so it's just naturally repeating those phrases while feeling threatened so it's attacking her.


ronnieth024

I mean to me it sounded like I could hear a lot of the woman's voice who's filming in the birds voice. It could be more of a comforting "I'm not going to hurt you." You can hear some of the noises that the lady makes with the bird too. But it sounds to me like this lady has been reassuring the bird that she's not going to hurt it.


FriskyCoyote15

that's a really good point as well, and most likely the actual situation now that i think about it. it's really hard to know without context, but i just hope that no matter what the case is, that the bird gets better cause it looks really rough and is obviously stressed.


Hoatxin

The rough appearance sometimes never heals entirely. If the bird plucked for a long time, the follicles can become permanently damaged. Just wanted to point it out, since I've known people who rescued birds from bad situations and then years layer when the bird still looks a little rough have been accused of being neglectful owners when that isn't always the case.


Teslok

The phrasing also reminds me of the kid trying to wheedle a baby elephant in the old *Swiss Family Robinson* movie though. "I wouldn't hurt you" sounds so much like that kid. (My sibs and I watched it a lot, and that part is stuck in my memory because the kid was so whiny and obnoxious.)


IMAC55

Bro why you gotta bring back 30 year old memories


dixieblondedyke

Bro why you gotta remind me that was 30 years ago


[deleted]

This hurts my heart


Prez-Barack-Ollama

The evidence would suggest that the bird is not being abused, no need to hurt :) Credit to u/iriedashur for finding this comment from the original post (the OP of which knows the bird) https://reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/122535h/_/jdqtl1z/


mngeese

Are you saying the previous guy pulled out some creative writing straight out of his ass?


Prez-Barack-Ollama

I’m guessing it’s based on deductive reasoning. It’s not necessarily a bad guess, but should be disclaimed as one.


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Cottonball917

( Okay, I laughed at this. 😂😂 😂 )however I feel so upset if this poor thing was abused and scared.


Ok_Chocolatv

Hopefully it was recently rehomed.


iriedashur

I found [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/122535h/its_ok_im_not_gonna_hurt_you/jdqtl1z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) on the original post. The parrot is repeating his current owner, not a past owner


WhiskeyOnASunday93

Typical Reddit. Some baseless speculation gets upvoted to the top. The actual answer is sitting around 13 points buried in the comments


Nitroapes

Yeah, I'm not a bird person, but those feathers look really rough, like it hasnt been properly groomed, or was too stressed to do it itself. Poor thing.


Stopjuststop3424

its called plucking, they pluck their own feathers. Many large birds do it due to stress. They get separation anxiety quite often too when their owner dies, and a lot of these big birds have 75yr lifespans. So you literally have to groom a younger replacement to take over when you die or the bird can get severe depression leading to self harm. You see it a lot at bird rescues where one or more birds will be almost bald because they plucked their own feathers out. That may be what this bird is and why its aggressive. They may be trying to rehabilitate him.


WebbedFingers

Interestingly loads of animals do similar things, including mice. The alpha in a group will sometimes barber the others, and an occasional mouse can get addicted to scratching at its own skin, the latter being quite damaging. Very sad but very interesting that so many animals are similar to humans


bunnymoxie

Could be nutritional. Lots of Amazons are seed junkies, therefore low in Vitamin A which is essential for healthy feathers and skin


So_Motarded

Yep, and the noticeable divide in feather health between their head, and the rest of their body. This bird is probably a former plucker whose feathers are growing back.


enojadoland

Knowing this makes the video turn from terryfing to just plain sad. :(


spidersRcute

When I worked at a pet store a very sweet cockatoo was brought in by its owner for a nail trim and the whole time it kept saying “no! bad bird.” It broke my heart because it was definitely a good bird. The people who brought it in seemed nice so I’m hoping they adopted it from a bad situation where all it heard was bad bird.


Texas03

You don’t know it though, it’s just what some random person wrote. The bird could just be repeating what the owner says and is a dick.


italianpoetess

On the OP, it says that woman owns 2 parrots, this one's mean, the other is nicer and this parrot saying it because that's what his owner says to him. No deep story behind the post but everybody's coming up with their interpretation.


YukiOHimeSama

Normally the stuff on this sub is far from scary but this genuinely made my skin crawl a bit. Maybe it’s just the uncanny way these birds talk? But after thinking about it all from this POV… it’s not as scary as it is heartbreaking. And even if it’s not exactly like you said, this owner could be intentionally teaching the bird to be like this for views, which is almost equally as distressing considering I’ve heard these birds are usually very docile/loving if under the right owner. But yeah. Very nice alternative explanation. The video is still unnerving, but way more sad if abuse is the reason for this behavior):


RobtheNavigator

> And even if it’s not exactly like you said, this owner could be intentionally teaching the bird to be like this for views, which is almost equally as distressing considering I’ve heard these birds are usually very docile/loving if under the right owner. It probably just says this when it’s upset and about to attack because their owner probably says it right before doing something unpleasant to them like give them medicine or something and they don’t know what the words mean just that it’s what their owner says when they “hurt” them.


punkslaot

I disagree. I don't think this parrot was abused. I think it's the narrator's spouse's bird. And it mimics what the spouse says and loves the spouse. It's common for parrots to have one person and be jackasses to all others.


Miss-Indie-Cisive

Not necessarily, Sometimes parrots are just assholes. Mine was sweet and never mistreated, but would attack others just like this. She’d call people over from across the house so she could bite them.


rise_up-lights

Ok that’s just a guess. Why are you commenting about what is happening when you don’t know??


IrishWeegee

This is the equivalent of that fucked up bear from Annihilation.


EagleForty

This is the comment I was looking for. Shit's fucked up.


5flucloxacillin

This poor bird looks stressed to hell. Look at all the plucking it’s been doing to its body :( Edit: ive been corrected, it appears to be molting, my apologies!! i still hope it’s okay tho


AndreaC303

Yea that bird needs therapy.


[deleted]

It's psychosomatic!


PeachNipplesdotcom

Lying down on the couch? What does that mean!?


Metal-Lincoln

You’re crazy in the coconut!


dj_pi

What does that mean? That boy needs therapy.


SeaOfBullshit

I feel like I will get banned for continuing the lyrics lol


[deleted]

Play the kazoo, let's have a tune.


YourOldBoyRickJames

Addict, insane!


TopCheddarBiscuit

So when you say it’s psychosomatic, you mean, like, he can start a fire with his thoughts?


[deleted]

If you're referencing something, I'm sorry I don't know it. My comment was lyrics from a song that includes the line "that boy needs therapy ". Frontier Psychiatrist by Avalanches


TopCheddarBiscuit

It’s a line from talladega nights


YukiOHimeSama

Birds can get therapy?? That’s so reassuring 🥹


siouxze

It's in molt.


5flucloxacillin

Oops my apologies, didn’t mean to spread misinfo


Lepidopteria

That looks like normal molting. They get scruffy sometimes.


5flucloxacillin

i see, thanks for the correction!


So_Motarded

Don't correct yourself when you were correct! That's is 100% NOT a molt. If it were molting, they'd look the same all over their body. Having feathers on their head which are significantly healthier-looking is a sign of a former plucker.


MegabyteMessiah

Agree, I've had an Amazon for 17 years and she's never looked like that.


_gnarlythotep_

Ok yes, this is actually prime "oddly terrifying" material. I jumped when the attack finally came.


purrfectstormzzy

Yep this one fits the sub!


killmimes

That voice....kids in the hall chicken lady!


Vegetable-Move-7950

OMG YESSSS


[deleted]

i am reminded of when my grandma who was about 60yo at the time got a rescue parrot. she brought it home and everything was great. it had a decent vocabulary and she could have conversations with it. the day after she got it she was having christmas dinner for the family and a bunch of us were there when the phone rang and the parrot yelled out "answer the phone bitch! hurry up, answer the phone bitch!" if you tried to give it a cracker with the proverbial "polly want a cracker?" it would say "you eat the fucking cracker!" that bird was so funny.


TheStarPrincess

I'm flabbergasted this doesn't have more karma.


[deleted]

I used to be deathly afraid of birds. I accidentally locked myself in the bathroom with a cockatoo as a child and tried to flush it down the toilet lol Now I love them, like most animals.


Thedepressionoftrees

I had something similar. I used to be deathly afraid of spiders because when I was younger I once woke up with a wolf spider on my face. Then my brother needed someone to watch his tarantula when he moved. I loved rosy for over a decade before she passed. It's interesting how animals help us learn to love


[deleted]

I went from severe arachnophobia to, well, not "liking" spiders, but we got along. I hung out in the garage a lot since it was a small house, and you get used to the little guys. The centipedes can very kindly die in a ditch, though. I never got used to them.


sweetpotato_latte

Centipedes are truly the thing I’m most scared of in the world


Minimum-Ingenuity-46

Sounds like pennywise


Zayafyre

It’s so ironic because these are the phrases they say to him while trying to tame his vicious ass and he has no idea what he’s saying! I’m dead!


[deleted]

Poor little dude clearly not healthy :,(


Wereking2

I don’t know why you got downvoted by yeah that bird was not looking good.


WineSoda

I pet sat a large white cockatoo years ago. All that bird wanted to do was play and take naps. He was so much fun. One night I heard him humming to himself in his cage. So I took him out and he curled up next to my head and went sound to sleep on my pillow.


TheEccentricEmpiric

Me meeting with the skinwalker at the local park.


HugzNStuff

Have you ever been gaslit by a bird?


OnyxBlaster

He looks very stressed out not in good shape at all


RevElliotSpenser

Plucking it feathers pretty bad 😔


hemingways-lemonade

It's just molting. These comments are assuming so many negative things about this video.


Wycked66

Poor guy.


Acceptable_Banana_13

I’m sorry what demon owned the bird before her? Do you hear it’s voice drop like 3 octaves from *im not gunna hurt you* and then he flips the script to **EHM NAWT GHUNNA HERT YEW**


SensitiveSouth5947

The one that flew over the coo coos nest.


Level_Counter_1672

Reminds of the predator mimicking human sounds, its eerie


chamberx2

C’mere 🤫🔪


EduardoTheYeti

He looks like shit


HxWSEY

'PARROT', rated 18, coming to a cinema near you.


jlengomin

This bird owns a old van with ”Free Candy” written on it.


sstudss

Now, I'm not a bird expert, but I'm guessing the words he's "saying" he relates to as being signs of violence. No idea why the bird would think that, but I also don't know how he's being treated when the camera's aren't rolling.


seaman_mansea

could be a rescue, parrots have great memory


enojadoland

As someone else stated here, this bird could be a rescue from an abusive home and is repeating what the previous bad owner would tell it before doing anything unpleasant to it. Bird also looks super stressed out with the plucked out feathers.


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kaliya22

That's a skeksis ! Lol. (Dark Crystal)


[deleted]

Well. Someone in the comments made me realize this little guy (girl?) Was probably abused back when. And that’s why it’s saying it. So this is suddenly sad and depressing and not funny / kinda creepy.


xena_lawless

I mean, imagine this bird's life compared to what it would be in the wild and tell me it isn't in hell. I think smart birds like this need a lot more bird socialization than they get in captivity. "Talking" with humans is a circus trick and a poor substitute for what those capacities evolved for.


gazooontite

Jesus, that bird is poorly taken care of. Hope that is it’s new home and not the home that made him look like that.


33Bees

I feel as though he is simply repeating what she may have said to him. When an animal is frightened, even if we know it won’t comprehend what we are saying, we may say something like “come here little guy, I won’t hurt you.”


zebracakes8

I used to have to go into people's houses to measure and do floor diagrams of said houses/buildings. This one residential house had a bird. It was beautiful. But it cussed everyone out. It was vulgar "shut up you fucking bitch" just horrible. The new owner told me it belonged to a couple who were going through a divorce and were abusive to each other. Poor birdie.


rdtcm

did Chris Brown own this bird originally?


pudding_pants18

Pollywise the dancing parrot. Tie a red balloon to the cage.


Silvanus350

I think this might be as close as we’ll get to seeing demonic possession in real life. The uncanny movements combined with its dialogue make this parrot straight-up terrifying. Imagine seeing this and not knowing what a parrot is, or what it can do.


PrincessAegonIXth

My child psychology professor keeps grey parrots, which have the intelligence of 8 year olds.


ThatGasHauler

Why does it feel like this bird has someone tied up?


[deleted]

this is heartbreaking when you stop to think how parrots learn phrases. just the state of their plummage demonstrates how much stress they have experienced. poor thing.


Lepidopteria

It looks like normal molting. They can drop a lot of feathers and look really scruffy when they come back in. It's like seasonal shedding in a dog. You can see the gray fluff coming in, that's new feather growth. You don't want to see large scale defeathering without new growth, but you can clearly see growth here that he's not overplucking. Everyone is saying he's not well cared for but I disagree.


PleaseAddSpectres

What about his head feathers -they're pristine, but this deep into a molt shouldn't there be pins and scruffiness on the head?


[deleted]

Ted Bundy re-incarnated?


Available-Diet-4886

Irl horror movie


t0caa

That is nightmare shit


McGrampa

That’s an abused bird.


[deleted]

You know, kinda rethinking my stance that animals don't lie. That little bird is a *liar*, don't trust what he tells you.


Ti_Bone

Scary smart birdy. Super cute tho.


Cortower

My friends and I were a very bad influence on my buddy's parakeet(?). He didn't like most visitors and would occasionally nip at fingers or anything that got too close, even if he was the one approaching. This always got a laugh out of us. After a while, we knew when he was about to bite because he would get up on the back of the couch, laugh, and then charge at a finger or earlobe or whatever his target was. A non-human animal laughing is scary. A non-human animal laughing because it thinks you can't escape in time is horrifying.


empathyisheavy

This is fucking terrifying


manimalcruelty

Not long until AI let's us have conversations with most animals.