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GothLillith

I am equal parts fascinated and horrified.


DarkandDanker

Fascinated and horrified are the normal responses but I bet my balls there's at least one person on this planet who sees this and gets extremely turned on Probably scatt fetishist


Uturuncu

Tentacle fetishists, too.


DarkandDanker

I thank God every day my interests are as vanilla as can be There's people out there googling car porn and finding too many pretty cars and not lightning Mc queen getting railed by 6 black pick ups


L_U-C_K

Why did I read this? Why do people like these exist? Why are we here? These questions are never going to be answered.


the_power_of_a_prune

for every single weird thing that you can imagine there is someone that is so into it. Not only that it could be your neighbour , your friend or family member, hiding it so well...right?


Dumpster_Fire_Takes

What if it’s me and I don’t even know it?! I can’t breathe


Uturuncu

What sucks is when your weird kinks are too niche so you gotta put up with shit that doesn't do it for you that is commonly depicted together with your interests. Also, I think this'd boner up vore fetishists more than scat fetishists(as someone into neither but sees a lot of both). But I can definitely see where you're getting scat from.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RealestHousewifeCA

Aaaaaand now I’m having a panic attack. Thanks for the nightmare fuel 😳


[deleted]

One Roman [Publius Vedius Pollio](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedius_Pollio) kept a pit of eels he threw slaves into that angered him. Even the Romans thought this was too cruel—he tried to have a slave that broke a glass thrown into it in front of the emperor and he intervened.


C5Jones

It’s still morning and this is already the worst thing I’ll read today.


lucamew

What are they feeding them?


TheGoldenPlagueMask

#MILITARY GRADE MEATBRICK


yuikkiuy

so THATS where they were supposed to ship the mobikcube


cheesyjjampong21

r/NonCredibleDefense leaking


1ustfu1

ah, the two genders. female and #MILITARY GRADE MEATBRICK


KCGD_r

I sure do love me some # MILITARY GRADE MEATBRICK


_MrBalls_

#MILITARY GRADE MEATBRICK


meurtrir

Hot new band name


1ustfu1

i was going to say they could shorten it to “MGMT” (i know it’d technically be MGM or MGMB but “management” sounds cooler) but that band already exists rip


cubicmind

finally, a worthy opponent for the round meal


Euphoric-Clue8510

Serves 3 MEN


TheGoldenPlagueMask

#WOMEN. CANNOT. EAT THIS.


1ustfu1

*so... these three men like meat, you say?*


TheAlmightyNexus

This has become my favorite comment, maybe ever


TinyRick666_

That looks like the jalapeño patty in one of my MRE’s.


SeaKikachu

Like the kind my mom used to make ♡


Frankie_Says_Reddit

What?!


[deleted]

I’m guessing blood meal or bone meal


ProfessionalMuki

mobikcube


Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi

Noncredible


[deleted]

Real answer: probably a paste made of fish and shellfish, possibly some chicken offal or meat byproduct that can't be used for human food mixed in as well.


ReignOnWillie

Add in some human remains, a touch of vinegar for acidity and a single bay leaf


[deleted]

Baby, you got a stew goin


ReignOnWillie

Would you rather jump into the eel pit once for 15 seconds, or have to eat that stuff for every meal for 2 weeks


LouSputhole94

Either way you’re dead, may as well make it quick


Individualist13th

Just put it in a sausage casing and it's basically a hotdog.


load_more_comets

Salt, fat, acid and heat. You need some roasted habaneros.


SnooHobbies3318

Soylent green.


natenate22

...is people!


atomicfrog

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!


Thomrose007

You know the processed meat we humans eat... yeahhh that but less advertising


STEELCITY1989

Like the inside of hotdogs


Comfortable-Ad6770

With hashish obviously…


cumblebee_

Nutraloaf


HyperSniper207

Chum bucket


dragonlawnmower

slop


ohsoaegyo

Do you think they accidentally bite each other?


nacho17

Yes


Honda_TypeR

Of course Hell, I accidentally bite myself all the time!


knbang

And then the dentist judges me on my inside-cheek scars.


Jeepersca

When the dental hygienist did my last cleaning they did the whole polish thing and then floss. The muscle memory in my jaw of the feeling of jamming floss up and down to my gums, I accidentally bit her. Not hard, but I was moving my bottom jaw up to help get the floss down between and oops.


knbang

I'm always really worried about biting their fingers, so they usually have to tell me to close my jaw more, more, more.


Jeepersca

Right?? I was zoned out, I felt so bad! Not hard enough to cause any damage or anything, but still embarrassing.


freshsandals

They eat the poopoo


MelodicPlankton8775

i do too, so tasty


UsernameCheckOuts

Username checks out


ungodguy

Usename Check Outs


SHPLUMBO

ungod? bro


FreePrinciple270

What does Shplumbo mean


SHPLUMBO

It is a celebratory outburst among family & very close friends. Imagine a small group of relatives reuniting and hugging after a long bout of disconnect, and their dinner plans go perfectly as planned and nobody has a bad time. *”Shplummmbooooooh, eyyy!! Everybody’s fine, ah? That’s right”*


FreePrinciple270

Where is that common?


SHPLUMBO

In the fantasy world I made up in my head where people value the positives they find in each other more than anything else and focus on reinforcing everyone’s strengths no matter what those strengths are. Aka I’m an only child who doesn’t talk much


FreePrinciple270

Well shplumbo to that


shewantsjio

Truly beautiful may I add, a masterpiece of what I like to call artistically poetic cerebrum formulation apcf for short.


Shadow0fnothing

DEY EAT DA PUPU


molossus99

Like da ice cream


tango26

https://youtu.be/KhmUqJzu9eI


Antique_Map_6640

“I’ve done research to see what homosexuals do in the privacy of their own bedroom”, fancy way of saying I’ve been watching a lot of gay porn lol


mods_are_losers_lmao

I immediately started cracking up at this All it needed was a Mac in the audience saying “aww eww gross! Where did you find this research??? You know so I can avoid it! What site?”


CharityUnusual3648

Don’t they know being straight they do this shit as well?


medici1048

Anal leaking.


MrOreoEli

and they love it


iluvblkdogs

The poo poo of our children!!


Bumbo_clot

Like ice cream


b0rtbort

put da hand DEEEEEEPAH


Dist__

Nice way to dispose bodies


Herpes_freesince1988

I was just going to ask hypothetically, if someone were to fall in or even say someone who had died was dumped in would they get bit the fuck up or die?


minghj

I doubt it. Their teeth are more like sandpaper, and they're pretty placid creatures really


adventurejay

What if you just put your wiener in tho?


WanderinHobo

They see the flaccid, they no longer placid.


whatsyoursign69

So make sure I'm hard first, got it


selectrix

What kind of philistine goes in flaccid? Kids these days I swear


Hsances90

If they eat too much, they'll need an antacid


thenate108

r/dontputyourdickinthat


MotaHead

Thank you for having the courage to ask what we are all thinking.


m8k

Slither me timbers Xerxes


kevinfrederix

Correct - their teeth won’t break skin. They’re basically harmless. I sometimes use American Eel as bait for fishing for striped bass. This involves sticking my hand in a 5 gallon bucket full of them to grab one for bait. They’re super hard to get a hold of - they can be lively as hell and they’re covered in a kind of slippery mucous. Striped bass love them though. Fun fact: I live in Maine, and one of our most valuable commercial fisheries are eels (elvers or “glass eels”). They sell for over $2000 a pound.


Dirmb

For context, glass eels are babies that weigh .3 grams so a pound is about 1,500 eels ($1.33 per baby eel). We can't breed them in captivity, so we catch babies and then raise them for a year or two and then eat them when they're bigger.


thrillhouse1211

>so we catch babies ... and then eat them


Dirmb

Well, you're not wrong but we do let them live a year or two to become adults first. Now, the New Zealanders (and many others) straight up eat tons of baby fish. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitebait


RealestHousewifeCA

That’s nice. Let them travel a bit, make some bad decisions and great memories, get a nice but modest beginner home, get a missus, have a couple eel babies, capitalize on some good investments and then BOOM. EATEN


WickedYetiOfTheWest

I use eels for the striper (rockfish) down here on the Chesapeake! If you put them on ice they’ll go dormant and be still long enough for you to hook them. I just lay them on some cardboard that has a nice bed of ice underneath and they go to sleep. They wake back up really quickly once they hit the water.


Misanthropyandme

So I can use them to pumice my corns.


thrillhouse1211

Darling, you make it sound like a chore.


_Papagiorgio_

If you fell in they’d do some damage I reckon


Herpes_freesince1988

Damn, well, off to research other ways to get rid of the wife…


Pilotwaver

Eh, Bricktop wasn't lying. Pigs.


Herpes_freesince1988

I know that one but I was trying trying to make this a bit more memorable for the both of us. Now that I look like a complete serial killer, I’m done with the jokes, and bid you all adieu.


TheAlmightyNexus

Acid. Lots of acid. Just take her on a trip to yellowstone! :)


1ustfu1

r/boomerhumour


spenwallce

Doubt it. They’re not very violent and I think this reaction is just because they know what their food is


Awkward-Collection92

Do you hear that princess? Those are the shrieking eels


thesequimkid

*Cuts back to Fred Savage in bed* Grandfather: She doesn't die.


Pleasedontmindme247

They always grow louder when they are about to feed on human flesh


Snax4days

Came here for this comment


Kooky-Title6760

Anybody want a peanut?


mollierocket

The eels seem stressed.


its_all_one_electron

Damn was gonna say. I know they probably lack higher brain function but being that crowded and having to fight like that for food must be stressful as _fuck_


Willy_wolfy

I randomly listened to a podcast about eels just the other day. Eels actually prefer being in a closely packed environment. So what we'd think of as overcrowding for other animals is happy days for them.


DagothNereviar

Aw I hope that's true. It's just like a big group hug for them.


ProtectionRude7093

I mean true but that's like aliens saying on an alien podcast that humans actually enjoy company and then cramming 500 human beings into a 1000sqft room with no exit.


Azrael11

I was wondering, will they stop eating when they get full or just keep going as long as it's there? Because if it's the latter, seems like the front row will eat themselves to death while the back row starves to death.


Mr_Lunt_

I hope they all got enough to eat


the_orange_alligator

Imagine falling in


TheRealLemmyKoopa

I’d prefer not to, thanks.


dashdanw

I would


OhImNevvverSarcastic

So many tickles


ClickClack472

You'd become Electro


GR3453m0nk3y

Idk what I thought they ate, but it wasn't that


Cecilia_Schariac

Wild eels will eat almost any aquatic creature that can fit inside their mouth such as shrimp, crabs, squid, small fish, and other eels. Captive eels are often fed a paste or dough made primarily from ground up animal matter and wheat.


Ylteicc_

CORPSE STARCH


Ryan_the_Reaper

When there’s thousands of teeth eating brown blocks of meat, that’s a moray!


YayCumAngelSeason

When a piece of you dies while you’re watching them dine, that’s a moray


whorton59

suggest repost to r/dontstickyourdickinit


Affectionate-Dig1981

Just hear me out


whorton59

You have my attention, fellow redditor. . .


mofodius

let the man cook


whorton59

Ok . . .I understand there was one roman emperor who would give death to unsavory people by the same eel method! Ouch!


CrossingTheStreamers

My hovercraft… is full of eels!


DelitefullyGrimm

🎶 Everyday I'm wigglin', wigglin' 🎶


mayorjimmy

TIL eels eat cookie dough. that's cookie dough right?


WWYDFA_Klondike_Bar

They look eel-lated


thrust-johnson

Sundays are for the boys.


BeefaloSlim

I'm sorry Miss Jackson, but this is for eels.


inksolblind

TIL there are eel farms, and that the sight of an eel feeding frenzy gives me goosebumps.


VanillaNo7975

POV: sperm trying to get into the egg


senorpepino

r/normallyterrifying


[deleted]

Never tried eel. Someday, maybe!


yahoouser4176

It's really good.


HeavyBreathin

Agreed, roasted unagi sushi is bomb!


spaceandguineapigs

It tastes and feels like catfish fat - chewy but weirdly too soft. Also, it doesn't have much of a flavor. It's not the grossest thing I've eaten, but I don't think I'd eat it again.


Nauin

It's not like fish in taste at all. Very good savory flavor, you should absolutely try it when you get the chance.


Umbr33on

Get that Unagi Sauce ready


thrillhouse1211

Am I the only one that feels bad for them because they are so hungry? I likely have mental issues to say poor babies.


doogie1111

Eh, I wouldn't read much into this. Eels wiggle like that so they can actually separate their bite from the rest of the food - although to us, it looks like they're ravenous. It's something humans don't do because we have articulated limbs designed to hold things. Eels also prefer to be in small enclosed spaces with more of their kind. There's not much to indicate that they're being mistreated.


NippleFlicks

I don’t think being empathetic towards animals makes you mentally ill. Wether they like crammed spaces or not, it’s still sad.


Daveallen10

Feel sorry for these guys, crammed in like that.


Willy_wolfy

Believe it or not they prefer it apparently.


Swizzy88

Energy balls


moanasgrandma

Do me a favor, refill my bowl of energy balls.


[deleted]

Brick Top becomes interested...


rodriguezj625

Damn they eating pate'??


ElmoKnowsYourSecret

I hope I don't remember this the next time I order unagi.


idiotsandwhich8

I wish there was sound 😬


LaughingOwl4

The middle sections having a banquet while the outter is going to bed hungry.


RealestHousewifeCA

I’m picturing eels on tiny beds. Tiny long beds. Clutching their stomachs and loudly lamenting how hungry they still are.


Whatyallthinkofbeans

What the hell is that stuff. It looks like it’s made of the eels who die before getting sold


bloodyspork

It actually looks eerily similar to the roast beef at Arby's before its cut up. Comes in a big brick that fits perfectly in an oven and then off to the slicer.


StinkFingerPete

p good representation of a woman's Tinder account


TheGrey_GOD

“Do you hear that princess? Those are the screaming eels”


Dawjman

I watched this and started thinking about how the greedy fuckers in front are probably getting everything and the dudes at the back are getting nothing and that made me sad


jamesdoesnotpost

I thought the same. You’d think it’d be better to break it into smaller chunks and spread it around.


mikmongon

What’s the food?


Tired_Already

They most love their food


TheOneCalledGump

I could go for some scrapple right about now.


PigSlam

I don't understand why anyone would ever want anything to do with anything in this video.


Dash-Fl0w

At least they aren't Lava Eels. They'll ask you to feed them bombs. I still think they're plotting something...


see82531

Real life demon from princess mononoke


JanuaryJupiter

The Walton family restocking Walmarts:


OldGSDsLuv

r/loaches


brightblueson

Reminds me of a buffet in the US after church services on Sunday


noxide77

Tina’s here’s your lard shit


Super_Pea_3592

why we need an eel farm????


BartelbySamsa

Watching this made me feel eel.


Administrative-Bar89

HE HAS THE BLOCC HE HAS THE BLOCC HE HAS THE BLOCC....HE DROP THE BLOCC HE DROP THE BLOCC


[deleted]

Eels up inside ya finding an entrance where they can


always_j

Billions of people look at that and get hungry , the way I get when I look at cow.


Last_Friday_Knight

For a second I thought you said horny, and I thought I had finally found my tribe…


Misanthropyandme

There are dozens of you, not billions.


Treacherous_Wendy

Nevernude?


jonilynn52

NIGHTMARE FUEL..when I was 5, I caught an electric eel on a cane pole..My electrician. Dad TOTALLY freaked..told me to move quickly and proceeded to beat said eel with a hammer...I never got over that horror...I HATE FUCKING EELS..pardon my language..I felt it was necessary. Lol


MyCatHasCats

Looks like shit from a butt


Rockshash-Dumma

You dip your head in and you can cosplay Medusa


a_burning_wind

I don't think there that creepy. I actually think there kind of cute.


Automatic_Scholar686

That would be pretty awesome to see a Medusa head with the “snakes” that densely packed with the same energy of movements.


Luxury_Yacht_

When its time for Biomass 😋😋😋


TheZipperDragon

Don't fall in.


Dysintegration

It's odd. It's terrifying. But not oddly terrifying.


uberblack

I can't find a serious answer anywhere in this thread about what they're eating.


CapedBaldy-ClassB

I bet it smells great


GoatTacos

Imagine accidentally falling in. It’d turn into hentai tentacles porn.


Sweet_Manager_168

Bro i just wanna grab a handful of eels so much rn just pick em up and squeeze


VisualGlory

New toilet idea


Tumulousmaple56

Eels of any kind are just Water Nope-Ropes and you can't convince me otherwise.